Over at Jack’s, Scott wrote,
All of the women you guys hold up as examples in the sphere— Elspeth, Hearthie, Mychael had very strong dads (in Mychaels case her grandfather) who they were terrified of disappointing.
Yes, this is a thing. Or at least it can be a thing. Parents through leading by example (and more) can make this happen. In my case, I was sad that I disappointed when my marriage ended up in divorce. Nothing was said, but nothing needed to be said. So, yes it does happen, and with both sexes.
But what are the precise ingredients? It starts with leading by example. There is also the statement of rules part. These are pretty much given. I had both of these. However, I probably could have benefited more if some other things were present.
First, a bit more of an explanation of why the rules were the way that they were would have been good. With respect to the young ladies, diagraming what happens to them in their head when they have a high n could be helpful.
Second, an explanation that the world is full of people who operate from a crabs in a bucket perspective; that is, they want to bring you down to their level for whatever reason, often to make themselves feel better about themselves.
Third, the world is full of cool/charming people who act like they know how it all works, or at least how the cool people think it all should work. Very often, they have not had a real thought in their life, but have gotten by on cool/charm. Youngsters should not be enticed.
Naturally enough, much of the education above should be done at teachable moments; and without oversell. Give them the basic info, plus some conclusion. Let them fill in the rest.
Exit question: What else might a parent need to do?