Have you ever found yourself dwelling on an insult or fixating on your mistakes? Criticisms often have a greater impact than compliments, and bad news frequently draws more attention than good. The reason for this is that negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias (also called the negativity bias), and it can have a powerful effect on your behavior, your decisions, and even your relationships.
Yes, this does seem to be true. It happens to me. I sort of figured it out as a kid; and have battled it ever since with varying degrees of success. The fellas pretty much need to at least partially get over it if they are to have any measure of success. Furthermore, they are taught to overcome obstacles and make stuff happen,
The negative bias is our tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on these events. Also known as positive-negative asymmetry, this negativity bias means that we feel the sting of a rebuke more powerfully than we feel the joy of praise.
Once again, yes. People need to coach themselves to overcome this the best that they can.
For example, you might be having a great day at work when a coworker makes an offhand comment that you find irritating. You then find yourself stewing over his words for the rest of the workday. When you get home from work and someone asks you how your day was, you reply that it was terrible—even though it was overall quite good despite that one negative incident.
Yes, this does happen to the fellas, but let us be honest here, who is more likely to be affected by this kind of thing? I am thinking the ladies. More often than not, they take insults to heart, while a fella might just laugh at such a thing. Once, my ex was insulted at courthouse by some cackling clerical chicks of a most unimpressive minority group. It really bothered her. I just laughed it off, particularly when the source was considered.
Furthermore, women do not compartmentalize as well as the fellas. Remember Bill Clinton? He functioned as President during the day almost unaffected by what was going on with Monica, Hillary, etc. It would be of benefit to women to have this quality. Perhaps others might say no. I suppose it depends on how much expectation of productivity there is.
So here is some advice for all. I have more or less tried to adopt many of these.
Some of the things that you can do include:
Stop Negative Self-Talk
Reframe the Situation
Establish New Patterns
Savor Positive Moments
Those might sound a bit like touchy/feely silliness, but there is merit there. Perhaps the world would be a better place if the ladies took the above to heart.
Exit question– In terms of self-help advice, what are women willing to do?