Negativity And Women

From here,

Have you ever found yourself dwelling on an insult or fixating on your mistakes? Criticisms often have a greater impact than compliments, and bad news frequently draws more attention than good. The reason for this is that negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias (also called the negativity bias), and it can have a powerful effect on your behavior, your decisions, and even your relationships.

Yes, this does seem to be true.  It happens to me.  I sort of figured it out as a kid; and have battled it ever since with varying degrees of success.  The fellas pretty much need to at least partially get over it if they are to have any measure of success.  Furthermore, they are taught to overcome obstacles and make stuff happen,

The negative bias is our tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on these events. Also known as positive-negative asymmetry, this negativity bias means that we feel the sting of a rebuke more powerfully than we feel the joy of praise.

Once again, yes.  People need to coach themselves to overcome this the best that they can.

For example, you might be having a great day at work when a coworker makes an offhand comment that you find irritating. You then find yourself stewing over his words for the rest of the workday. When you get home from work and someone asks you how your day was, you reply that it was terrible—even though it was overall quite good despite that one negative incident.

Yes, this does happen to the fellas, but let us be honest here, who is more likely to be affected by this kind of thing?  I am thinking the ladies.  More often than not, they take insults to heart, while a fella might just laugh at such a thing.  Once, my ex was insulted at courthouse by some cackling clerical chicks of a most unimpressive minority group.  It really bothered her.  I just laughed it off, particularly when the source was considered.

Furthermore, women do not compartmentalize as well as the fellas.  Remember Bill Clinton?  He functioned as President during the day almost unaffected by what was going on with Monica, Hillary, etc.  It would be of benefit to women to have this quality.  Perhaps others might say no.  I suppose it depends on how much expectation of productivity there is.

So here is some advice for all.  I have more or less tried to adopt many of these.

Some of the things that you can do include:

Stop Negative Self-Talk

Reframe the Situation

Establish New Patterns

Savor Positive Moments

Those might sound a bit like touchy/feely silliness, but there is merit there.   Perhaps the world would be a better place if the ladies took the above to heart.

Exit question– In terms of self-help advice, what are women willing to do?

Posted in FarmBoy, HowTo, Science, Why
98 comments on “Negativity And Women
  1. okrahead says:

    As a matter of biological necessity women are far more inclined to herd behavior than are men. Likewise, women are far more reliant on the goodwill of the community and those above them in the social hierarchy. This means women are far more dependent on the goodwill of those around them than are men, and as a result they are far more sensitive to negative feedback.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. okrahead says:

    As to what women can do about it, they should make sure that they have a strong male immediately above them in the social hierarchy, that they fulfill all of his needs on a regular basis, and that they stay up to date on the current best practices of sammich construction. This will preclude the necessity of too much negative feedback and help them achieve peace.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. h0neyc0mb says:

    Exit question– In terms of self-help advice, what are women willing to do?

    They can demand to see the manager .. (by Karen) .. that’s what they are prepared to do!

    Frankly “my give a fookin dam” ™ meter is broken .. and I ain’t gettin a new one!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. horsemanbombadil says:

    At least with all the sitting apart in cafes and such

    I can MANSPREAD as much as I fucking want.

    Don’t make me MANSPLAIN it to you Karen.

    [Probably still manspread in this environment you could]

    [That capybara on the left really capybaraspreading he is]

    Liked by 4 people

  5. RichardP says:

    Majorly OT – @ Sharkly – re. your two pictures from the last thread:

    Your second picture is perfect. You want less light, not more, so don’t worry about the flash. Place the two pictures side by side in some non-linear fashion. Title them “Yearning”. Let the title and the image fire the imagination of the observer as to what a young boy might be yearning for … (an intact family perhaps).

    As the shadows lengthen,
    – daylight’s death brings fire to the sky.
    Beauty soothes where it hurts
    – in the corners of my mind.

    In the stillness of the afterglow,
    – with our day almost through,
    I’m secure in our world.
    – I know there’s peace with you.

    My words. Do with them what you will.

    Liked by 6 people

  6. Men solve problems. Problems (or things that seem likely to become problems) are gonna get more attention than things that are going well. “Don’t sweat the small stuff” is actually good short term advice for prioritizing your work list. After the bigger things are handled (for now) you can go back and tweak the little things.

    Sample small stuff problem:

    Doofus at work told the woman I share an office with (80+% females on this floor) that he was “a little scared of me” when she asked why he didn’t want to sit in my chair when they were having a convo on one of my work-from-home days. This is the proper attitude that I try to manage him with as he gets to be a troublesome know-it-all when a man is not around.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Farm Boy says:

    “When this is all over, look for massive confirmation bias and pyrrhic celebration by elites. There will be vain cheering in the halls of power as Main Street sits in pieces. Expect no apology, that would be political suicide. Rather, expect to be given a Jedi mind trick of ‘I’m the government and I helped.’”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Farm Boy says:

    During an interview on UnHerd, Sunetra Gupta, professor of theoretical epidemiology at Oxford, said the virus is on its way out in the United Kingdom, and the true infection fatality rate is likely extremely low.

    “I think the epidemic has largely come and is on its way out in this country so I think it would definitely be less than 1 in 1,000 (0.1%) and probably closer to 1 in 10,000 (0.01%),” Gupta said.

    Gupta is opposed to the lockdowns, pointing out that the coronavirus outbreak has followed similar patterns in different countries with different lockdown policies.


  9. Farm Boy says:

    The Trump administration said it is suspending entry to the US by anyone who has been in the coronavirus-stricken country in the past 14 days.

    “The potential for undetected transmission of the virus by infected individuals seeking to enter the United States from the Federative Republic of Brazil threatens the security of our transportation system and infrastructure and the national security,” President Trump said in a proclamation


  10. Farm Boy says:

    *CDC: Coronavirus ‘does not spread easily’ except for close contact with infected patients

    *UK COVID-19 vaccine trial may fail due to low transmission in population

    The first story suggests that social distancing, masks, and the incessant cleaning of surfaces are ridiculous over-reactions and likely unnecessary. Nor am I surprised. We have always had similar expectations from all other flu-like illnesses, and have never required these paranoid requirements in the past. It is time for them to stop.

    The second story provides more evidence that the epidemic is dying, as predicted and like all similar flu-like epidemics.


  11. Farm Boy says:

    At the bottom of the Russian hoax story is a tale of narcissism: Hillary Clinton’s shock at losing the election, the media’s shock at being wrong and less capable of manipulation that they thought, and, importantly, Barack Obama’s shock that his priorities — all of them, but most of all the Iran Deal — would be swept away as so much ideological detritus. Like Saruman watching the Ents loose the dams and flood Isengard, the Obama administration knew that Michael Flynn would ruin their edifice, so they had to ruin him. Please do go read Smith’s piece.

    The obvious reaction to the article is, Of course. Of course, this had to all come back to Obama’s inflated self-view. Of course, the administration was in a pure panic because Michael Flynn could deftly navigate the intelligence community backwaters and could point President Trump in the right direction to … drain the swamp.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Farm Boy says:

    “The Radical Left is in total command & control of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Google,” Trump wrote, adding: “working to remedy this illegal situation.”

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Farm Boy says:

    a general rule, when the New York Times, the Washington Post, National Public Radio, Public Broadcasting Service, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, and CNN begin to parrot a narrative, the truth often is found in simply believing just the opposite.

    Put another way, the media’s “truth” is a good guide to what is abjectly false. Perhaps we can call the lesson of this valuable service, the media’s inadvertent ability to convey truth by disguising it with transparent bias and falsehood, the “Doctrine of Media Untruth.”


  14. Farm Boy says:

    White House National Security Adviser Robert O’Brien on Sunday suggested that the Chinese Community Party would very likely try to steal American developments on a coronavirus vaccine


  15. Farm Boy says:

    In her ongoing audition to be Joe Biden’s veep pick, Michigan Governess Gretchen Whitmer all but convicted a private dam owner for the disastrous floods that struck the middle of the state last Wednesday.

    However, it wasn’t the dam company that was trying to save a few clams—it was Whitmer’s radical attorney general, Dana Nessel.

    Nessel was suing the dam company to raise the lake level three feet in order to save mussels—both endangered and common—and in their response, the dam company cited safety as a reason for not doing so.


  16. Ame says:

    that’s beautiful, Richard.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Ame says:

    i don’t personally know anyone who sacrificed their life in the military, but many of you do. i know this is a day to remember them, to remember those who came before them, but i know that can be very painful. so … (((hugs))).

    Liked by 4 people

  18. Sharkly says:

    As for the topic of negative comments:

    Proverbs 17:10 (TLV) A rebuke makes a greater impression on a discerning person than a hundred lashes on a fool.
    Proverbs 17:10 (KJV) A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool.
    Proverbs 17:10 (Wycliffe) A blaming profiteth more at a prudent man, than an hundred wounds at a fool. (A rebuke more profiteth a prudent man, than an hundred wounds to a fool.)
    Proverbs 17:10 (CEV) A sensible person accepts correction, but you can’t beat sense into a fool.

    We need to carefully examine the negative stuff we hear about ourselves. We should take wise correction to heart while learning to joyfully endure the insults while ignoring their foolish mockery. I, as a Christ follower, must expect my cup of insults to be filling up, and be prepared to drink my cup of insults, for my Lord Jesus Christ. However if those who correct me have a point, I should be wise and improve myself by giving close attention to anything I can learn to do better or things I might refrain from doing poorly.
    The key is being able to find the bits of wisdom amidst the mockery, and being able to accept correction even when it is given mean-spiritedly, and to be as impervious to the mean-spiritedness as we can, realizing that we too often trash-talk others. Our critics can often sharpen us, if we are wise enough to find the things of benefit in their negative comments, while graciously ignoring any hatred intended.

    Liked by 4 people

  19. Stephanie says:

    That’s exactly what Jordan Peterson said a couple of years ago. It’s just basic wisdom and very good advice.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Ame says:

    this is such a GREAT story! even though the mechanical stuff and motorbike stuff went over my head, y’all will understand it and love this story 🙂

    We often hear of veteran pilots taking to the sky again in the rear seats of two-seater Spitfires and ex-Paratroopers making tandem jumps while strapped to instructors – but how often do we hear of 88 year old former motorbike racers lapping a racing circuit and reaching speeds in excess of 115 mph while at times only inches from the surface of the tarmac?

    If that isn’t true grit then I don’t know what is.


  21. Farm Boy says:

    “The Times uses dead Americans as a prop to move the Narrative. Does anyone doubt this conceptual art piece on the front page of the Times isn’t saying, ‘Look! Look at all the people Trump killed’?”


  22. Farm Boy says:

    In Washington state, Gov. Jay Inslee (D) rushed to hand out the extra $600/week to anyone and everyone who applied for unemployment, up to and including a Nigerian crime network that funneled out of the state “hundreds of millions of dollars” before Washington officials finally got a clue.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Farm Boy says:

    Apparently, Meghan Markle feared a “conspiracy against her” prior to her and Prince Harry’s decision to split from the Royal Family


  24. Ame says:

    So, Meggie hates on everyone in her new family then fears they might not like that. Wow. That took a lot of brain power to figure out.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. okrahead says:

    Sumo, your ghillie suit is supposed to be blue with those eyes.


  26. Farm Boy says:

    Instead of remembering the fallen servicemen and women on Memorial Day, the New York Times editorial board decided to publish an editorial about how the United States Military supposedly advocates for white supremacy. Specifically, the editorial board took issue with Military bases being named leaders in the Confederate Army. In their mind, the bases should be renamed.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Farm Boy says:

    MI Governor Gretchen Whitmer Wants to Give Free College to Essential Workers

    So what is an essential worker and how do you qualify?


  28. horsemanbombadil says:

    I just gave my landlord my annual money order for the year’s rent so I am good until next June.

    Topped off the pantry with the monthly run to the store.

    Put the summer tires on both paid for cars, not that they move much.

    Saw two deer in the field during my nightly 8 minute walk down the driveway to the highway.

    I just don’t get what the city folk are fussin over.

    I mean I keep to myself on my seven acres, is that distanced enough for ya?

    Liked by 6 people

  29. Liz says:

    Just when I think the NY Times cannot possibly sink any lower, they prove me wrong.
    Odds that anyone in that editorial board has ever stepped a foot on a military base…
    very low. Probably absolute zero.

    Liked by 4 people

  30. horsemanbombadil says:

    Oh and had to put my old work phone on voicemail only. Seems the spring as always revealed the winter damage and summer haulout that needs fixin that the Karens and richies cant do.

    “Yes it’s me.

    No I am not taking new clients.

    Not working for old clients either

    Don’t care if you will pay triple.

    Don’t know a guy and he wouldn’t want me saying anyways.

    Because I don’t have to is why.

    Yes. Yes I am. Get told that alot.


    P.s. if I know you well enough to pull out a beer for ya instead of turning the dogs loose as you come up my driveway, in that case I will be in your fields in the morning.

    Liked by 4 people

  31. horsemanbombadil says:

    P.p.s. why do they insist on leaving messages?

    The recording answers all their questions
    And I don’t listen to em anyway, just delete all every few days.


    Liked by 4 people

  32. Larry G says:

    Horseman, nicely done! “Yes. Yes I am. Get told that a lot.”

    “P.p.s. why do they insist on leaving messages?

    The recording answers all their questions
    And I don’t listen to em anyway, just delete all every few days.


    Some people (mostly those Karens and the other idiots who think I should give shit) leave messages or emails….nope, I don’t listen/read them either.

    “At the tone, please just piss off..BEEEEEEPPP!”


  33. Farm Boy says:

    [Hillary looking well she is
    For green she would be]


  34. h0neyc0mb says:

    “They ain’t gotz no time fo dat” ™ ..


    Liked by 2 people

  35. Farm Boy says:

    [Good analysis this is.
    Make a cameo i do]


  36. Farm Boy says:

    Don’t see this every day

    Liked by 2 people

  37. Farm Boy says:

    [Once again, green best it is]

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Farm Boy says:

    French intelligence officials reportedly warned in 2004 that building a Biosafety Level 4 (BSL-4) laboratory in Wuhan, China, could lead to a devastating outbreak because of China’s reputation for having poor biosecurity at its labs.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Farm Boy says:

    The Detroit News noted that Whitmer’s spokesperson would not deny the allegations and said, “our practice is not to discuss the governor’s or her family’s personal calendar/schedules.”


  40. Farm Boy says:

    A former worker on Jeffrey Epstein’s Caribbean island claims that he saw Bill Clinton there in an explosive new Netflix documentary.

    The claims run contrary to denials by Clinton that he ever visited the island

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Liz says:



  42. Then add some “angry” pine cone eyebrows to complete the look.

    Liked by 3 people

  43. I don’t think the military should respond by smart-bombing the NYT Building and branch offices around the globe. I repeat, I don’t think that. This me saying don’t.

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Ugh, Harrison Ford gives me the sadz these days, but he was the best part of the first movie.


  45. I thought Northwest went bankrupt?


  46. The FBI raided and now has all the security cam tapes. The FBI now owns everyone who went to the island.

    Liked by 3 people

  47. I don’t get the fan-fare for the “Dad” youtube videos. All those topics have been covered 100 times already on youtube. Seems more like a branding thing than anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. h0neyc0mb says:

    Delta bought’em in a merger.

    As previous NW Pilot .. who did not recall .. even knowing I’d been Delta ..

    I went back to Nuclear Power .. we have pensions and better pay.

    Liked by 3 people

  49. Captain America: The First Avenger is my favorite MCU movie, and I’d argue that Cap fully becomes who he is during that film. His character doesn’t really change in the follow-up films, but instead the situation around him does. However, he remains willing to do what is right even if it puts him outside the “law”. He’s actually a little boring in that way, but he’s a moral compass for everyone else in the MCU.

    That “Hail Hydra” bullshit didn’t fool anyone. Marvel hates heroic white guys with or without severe moral failing or personality defects.

    Liked by 4 people

  50. Farm Boy says:

    Leftist Guardian Writer Tweets Desire to Physically Attack Conservative MP in Front of His Children


  51. Farm Boy says:

    In Washington, anyone testing positive for COVID-19 is included in the COVID death count. This includes 5 deaths due to gunshot wounds, which were counted as COVID deaths.

    In Colorado, a man died of alcohol poisoning, seven times the legal limit, yet he was classified as a COVID death simply because he tested positive for the Wuhan virus.


  52. Farm Boy says:

    In an article titled, “The general election scenario that Democrats are dreading,” Politico reported that multiple Biden campaign officials and Democratic strategists are dismayed at the possibility of an economic boom in the months before the presidential election


  53. Farm Boy says:

    Biden Covers Body In Tattoos To Constantly Remind Himself Who He Is And What He’s Doing


  54. Farm Boy says:

    LANSING, MI—Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer has ordered all citizens to barbecue indoors this Memorial Day.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Whitmer actually prefers her food raw.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. h0neyc0mb says:

    Where’s the down vote button .. ugh!

    Liked by 3 people

  57. Larry G says:

    LOL! Jeez, some of you guys have waaaay too much free time on your hands

    Liked by 2 people

  58. Sumo says:


    Liked by 5 people

  59. Farm Boy says:

    The father of a 19-year-old Swedish man who was killed by a Sudanese migrant while trying to prevent a woman being raped has been forced by the media to defend his son after suggestions the victim was a “Nazi.”


  60. Farm Boy says:

    While Arkansas is experiencing a second spike in COVID-19 cases, the governor noted that the increase is “fairly modest” and that the state has fewer than 100 people hospitalized with the coronavirus.

    “When I said that there’s a second spike that we’re seeing, it’s really hard to know exactly where these projections are going. The projections and modeling [have] lost a lot of credibility,” Hutchinson told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “And so, we’re having to dig deep into the data.”

    On closer examination, he argued, “whenever you look at our numbers, our numbers are very modest, low death rate, compared to other states. We have — our hospitalizations are still less than 100.”

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Farm Boy says:

    YouTube has deleted every comment I ever made about the Wumao (五毛), an internet propaganda division of the Chinese Communist Party. Who at Google decided to censor American comments on American videos hosted in America by an American platform that is already banned in China?

    — Palmer Luckey (@PalmerLuckey) May 26, 2020

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Farm Boy says:

    Is this an improvement?


  63. Farm Boy says:

    Conservatives have long been blowing the whistle on Wikipedia’s leftist bias. The site’s co-founder Larry Sanger apparently agrees with them.

    In a blog post last week, Sanger argued that Wikipedia has abandoned all neutrality in the name of avoiding what activist journalists call the “false balance” – the idea that not all opposing views of an argument should be given equal time. He goes through several pages to support his thesis, noting the rather charged language often employed.


  64. Farm Boy says:

    In NBC reporter was forced to admit during his live segment about people enjoying the weather and not wearing masks that some members of his camera crew were also not wearing masks during the Wuhan coronavirus pandemic


  65. okrahead says:

    If it’s this easy to convince people to wear masks, maybe I can convince my ex to wear a muzzle.

    Liked by 2 people

  66. Farm Boy says:

    Oh deer,

    Stephan Robert Loehr was a promising young man from an affluent family. His maternal grandfather was a successful engineer, while his father was a cardiologist. Attending high school in Chapel Hill, N.C., young Stephan was tall and popular and seemed destined for a bright future, like his older brother, who followed in their father’s footsteps to become a physician. Unfortunately, Stephan was spoiled and lazy, and spent way too much time playing videogames, so he attended a rather obscure university where he was a member of their competitive videogame team, but didn’t accomplish much in the way of academics.

    You’ll notice I’m using past-tense verbs to describe who Stephan Loehr was, and I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “Oh, he’s dead now?”

    Not exactly. “Dead-named,” yes, but still alive. Because you see, he now insists on being referred to with the pronouns “she/her,” and is known by the online handle “FerociouslySteph.” Brace yourself before you go any further, because this situation is painful.

    In November 2018, at age 25, “Steph” underwent surgical castration as part of her, uh, transgender journey. “She” is now living in Washington State, and almost no one ever would have known that this person was the doctor’s son from North Carolina, except that earlier this month, “Steph” somehow got named to be a member of the newly created “Safety Advisory Council” for the Amazon-owned videogame streaming site Twitch, and everybody suddenly went berserk


  67. h0neyc0mb says:

    Not unless it’s a muzzle!

    Liked by 1 person

  68. b g says:

    Okay, Just had to laugh at this ;-D

    [Not very ladylike that would be]

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Farm Boy says:

    “Whitmer’s office gave the ‘green light’ for a COVID-19 contact tracing ‘arrangement’ she denied knowledge of and canceled amid outcry over a contractor with Democratic ties,” Bridge Magazine, a local Michigan publication, reported. “Emails obtained through a public records request appear to show Michigan officials tried to avoid controversy by shifting work to apolitical subsidiaries of firms with known partisan leanings.”


  70. Farm Boy says:

    Liz taking on Colorado in the middle of winter

    Liked by 2 people

  71. h0neyc0mb says:

    I agree .. that book is way to big for her .. heh

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Farm Boy says:

    The novel coronavirus seems to be more deadly for men. But in many other ways, women are bearing the brunt of this pandemic.

    For instance, the majority of health workers are women, yet they get paid 28% less on average than men, according to the WHO.

    — CNN (@CNN) May 25, 2020


  73. Sharkly says:

    Thanks RichardP,
    I will use what you wrote.

    Liked by 1 person

  74. RichardP says:

    You are welcome Sharkly (and thanks Ame).

    Hope it brings some comfort to those who need it.

    I think it was not clear in what I wrote, but I was thinking of you making a poster or some artistic rendering, with the two pictures you took, with the heading of “Yearning” and maybe the prose stuck in their somewhere, artfully. I bet it would strike a chord in a lot of men and boys who have experienced, or are experiencing, what you are going through. Could maybe even put a price on it and sell a few. Put the money in college fund for the boys or something.

    Anyway – whatever you do – those were good pictures. My emphasis on darker rather than brighter was for artistic purposes. The silhouette rather than the well-lit picture is, I think, better for calling forth emotion from the viewer. They can project their own young son onto the silhouette in a way they couldn’t if your son was well-lit


  75. Farm Boy says:

    Jeffrey Epstein’s lead attorney says that he knows the billionaire pedophile was murdered in prison, but does not know who the killer/s is/are, noting that Epstein was ‘upbeat and excited’ about going to the courts in an attempt to clear his name


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