So Which Is It?

We hear two sides of the story.  On one hand, we hear/see young women, basted in self-esteem all of their lives, reach adulthood.  If they are half-way presentable, they are fawned over.  Affirmative action clears paths for them, jobs are effectively set aside for them.  Many act with a high level of self-confidence because of it all.

On the other hand, we hear from women (e.g. Tarn, Ame) that this isn’t so.  Young women are not confident at all.  They have huge doubts.

So what is going on here?   Do women just have a built-in predisposition to have doubts, one that really can’t be compensated for by society?  Perhaps the vestiges of the Evil Patriarchy are still wielding their influence.  Perhaps large swaths of young women are not taught anything resembling critical thinking, so they have no idea how consider their state of affairs rationally.  Maybe without strong male leadership (e.g. a father), they have no idea what they should believe.  Perhaps it is just an eternal mystery, one where simultaneous contradictory views must be embraced.

Exit question: what the heck is going on here?

Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Tarn, Why
100 comments on “So Which Is It?
  1. Uh, bitches be crazy?

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Gunner Q says:

    Bitches be gullible. That’s the divine perspective. What’s good for women is not what women want, until it’s too late. But men are worse. Trying to convince a girl to be a mother and housemaker is like convincing a man that “she’s toxic, dude. Get another girl.”

    That’s not gullible, that’s willful denial of reality.

    Liked by 2 people


    “Then I tried to gingerly explain the concept of emotional labour… Delegating work to other people, i.e. telling him to do something he should instinctively know to do, is exhausting. I tried to tell him that I noticed the box [of gift wrap] at least 20 times over the past two days. He had noticed it only when I was heaving it onto the top shelf instead of asking for help. The whole explanation took a lot of restraint.”

    I re-blogged this at W&A, but just wanted to make sure nobody here missed it.


  4. Thinking of marriage boys?

    A scorpion, which cannot swim, asks a frog to carry it across a river on the frog’s back. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung the frog despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: “I couldn’t help it. It’s in my nature.”

    All scorpions are like that, or ASALT if you prefer.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. okrahead says:

    Cognitive dissonance. Objective reality is utterly different from what young womyn are taught in public schools, universities, and in tv/movies/modern novels, etc. On TV a strong independent woman can easily physically overpower multiple men twice her size. Yet womyn have an instinctive sense of self preservation which causes them to be terrified of a single man their own size when they encounter him alone in a parking garage at night. Instinct knows what they are being told is a lie, but the female ego wants to believe the lie. So they puff themselves up until they realize they might have to back it up. Of course there is the occasional one so stupid as to lack basic survival instincts, who believes she really can take care of herself in any type of situation she waltzes into, and ends up on the news having last been seen leaving a bar at 2 am with two total strangers. Which induces more fear in the rest of the herd, who try to cover it up by pretending that they are tough enough… but still having enough of a desire to keep breathing not to actually act on it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Adam says:

    The answer to the question is that I don’t care any more.

    Liked by 6 people

  7. SFC Ton says:

    To be born female is to be born inferior in every way that counts. Their default mental state is a hurricane size shit storm of various anxieties. The only thing that ever quiets the shit storm is a baby maker full of alpha baby batter

    You don’t need girl power and all that shit when you are actually competent

    It’s like one of them little yappy beaner dogs that are harmless but are always making a fuss vs the late, great, almost always silent Odin. Girl, who was 300 pounds of hate in a 150 pound bag walked small around Odin and I thought he was a mute for the 1st 8 months he spent with me.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. thedeti says:


    The backbone of marriage was that men cared. Cared about women, what was going on with them in their heads, what they wanted, what they needed. And that women knew men cared, and at least made some effort for the one man who cared the most.

    It’s kind of sobering to me that more and more men care less and less. Mostly because women stopped putting forth some effort.

    And if women won’t put out that effort, why should men care? I find my own self saying that. “I don’t care. And why should I care?”

    Liked by 5 people

  9. thedeti says:

    I can’t believe I’m going to try to answer this question seriously.

    It reminds me of the “how easy do women really have it” debate that happened a couple of years ago.

    Men: “Women can get married anytime they want. Just not to the top men or the best men. Women need to compromise a little here and there, and they can get most of what they want.”

    Women: “No, you’re wrong, especially for less attractive women or Christian women. Women can’t get anything because men aren’t initiating, aren’t building, aren’t creating, and aren’t doing. Men aren’t attractive. Men are shit.”

    And to a great extent, both are correct. It’s a race to the bottom. Women can’t get married to halfway decently attractive men, because the bar for what is “attractive” in a man has been pushed way up. Men are losing interest in trying to reach that bar because they can’t, because it’s too difficult, because the juice ain’t worth the squeeze, because even if they get there it’s divorce raped away from them 50% or more of the time, and 30% of the remaining time it’s a miserable slog and day to day conflict.

    To me it’s ultimately about perception and where you are in relation to others around you and your larger surroundings. Both are correct. Men see women marinated in self esteem and “you go girl” and being given things and legs up because they’re women. That’s true.

    Women are full of doubt all the time because, well, that’s how they feel. Based on what women say, women’s internal lived experience is being blown about from emotion to emotion, feeling to feeling, all day long, every day. There are things they want, and they don’t have them, and feel bad about this. And what’s worse for women is that they are trying to thrust themselves into thinking about things logically and making actual logical plans for themselves and their lives that make practical sense, and they have a lot of difficulty doing that.

    A third thing that happens for women causing all this self doubt and hesitation, I think, is that they are getting all this attention from all men all across the spectrum, and they like and want only some of it. They want attention from the top men, and are pretty well figuring out that all they can get is sex from those men. They get unwanted attention from less attractive men, and are pretty well figuring out that those less attractive men are the best they’ll be able to do long term. And that creates doubts in women because it doesn’t line up with the “women are wonderful” and “you can have it all” narratives they’ve been given by everyone around them.

    I could be wrong. That’s just what I can come up with right now.

    Liked by 4 people

  10. thedeti says:

    Adding to that prior comment:

    And both men AND women are correct. It’s all about perception.

    Those three things I talked about: emotional lived experience, trying and failing to think fully logically, and wanted/unwanted male attention – cause doubts in women, I think, because it causes women to see themselves for who and what they really are, and that doesn’t line up with the WAW and “you can have it all” drumbeats they hear from about age 3 on up.

    “Is this the best I can do?” Well, yeah, probably.

    “I can’t handle all these feelings!”

    “I’m really not as good, smart, talented, or gifted as everyone told me I am.” No, you’re really not. Well meaning people in your life weren’t completely honest with you.

    “I’m getting all this attention because guys just want in my pants.” Well, not just in your pants. They want you for themselves, and you have to pick one, and sometimes that can be really tough. That’s why the men in your life tend to do a better job of picking a good man for you than you can.

    And those things I think are creating a lot of doubt in women.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. Adam says:

    Marriage used to be about building something, about being in it for the long haul. Now it’s just a narcissistic race to the bottom for cash and prizes, which include the unfortunate offspring.

    There used to be a saying, a wise women builds her house, a foolish one tears it down.

    Sure seems like the foolish ones are doing all the breeding.

    Liked by 5 people

  12. thedeti says:

    Good points, Adam.

    When women marry for the wrong reasons, it’s for resources for themselves and their kids, and for cash and prizes as their golden escape hatches “just in case it doesn’t work out”.

    When men marry for the wrong reasons, it’s for sex, to alleviate loneliness, and to get a lifelong friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. okrahead says:

    A big part of the problem is the great divorce… Our culture, including many churches and professed Christians, have divorced sex from marriage. Sex without marriage is no big deal, and men having an expectation of sex in marriage is perceived to be unseemly at best, if not downright immoral. This is the core of “churchianity”… the rejection of the knowledge that the proper place to experience romantic/sexual love is within marriage. In true Christianity it is marriage that sanctifies eros; in churchianity it is eros that sanctifies marriage. Although Scott and Dalrock both said it better.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. SFC Ton says:

    Marriage used to be about building something, about being in it for the long haul.

    Only for the ugly chicks

    Hot chicks have always been able to branch swing


  15. Sharkly says:

    The question: On one hand, we hear/see young women, basted in self-esteem all of their lives … On the other hand, we hear from women (e.g. Tarn, Ame) that this isn’t so. Young women are not confident at all. They have huge doubts. So what is going on here?

    Well, this is your lucky day, I have the answer.
    SFC Ton kind of spilled it already: You don’t need girl power and all that shit when you are actually competent.

    All of the confidence boosting, participation trophy, you do you, I’m OK you’re OK, crap backfires. I have read a couple good articles about how our public schools’, self esteem building, confidence building, team building, and anti-bullying, campaigns all just lead to a generation of incompetent pampered kids riddled with self doubt, who know they don’t measure up to the kids they read about in old books, or watch on reruns. But the self doubting are more easily led, or misled, and I suspect that outcome was not accidental on Satan’s part. Perhaps the fools running the education field didn’t know that confidence comes from overcoming trials, passing real tests, beating your competition, standing up against your opposition, and proving yourself to be a competent individual at something, not being part of a team that got a trophy for trying, or the kid that runs and reports she is being bullied every time somebody tells her the truth about her low relative standing. In the end, all the false pride forcibly blown up these kids asses leaves them without having developed the toughness, resilience, and self-confidence that is born from competitions won and great struggles overcome. They don’t even know, for sure, what they’re good at, because they got a trophy for everything even the things they know they suck at and can’t do. Their conscience tells them their life is wrong, but everybody else tells them that there is no wrong for them. In the end they have been shielded from the truth about themselves, and the freedom that comes from that truth. They are untested, they lack solid developed good character, and they are right to be riddled with self doubt. Our helicopter generation, and mainly the Boomers before, have arrested their development by insisting everything be so easy for them.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Sharkly says:

    We’ve robbed kids of a chance at real victories and given them false victories instead, so that everybody could win. We’ve robbed kids of a chance for real confidence born from overcoming adversity, going from rags to riches, going from underdog to champions, and told them to develop a shaky false pride based upon the illusion of equality instead. It didn’t work. It backfired. they are untested, unprepared for life’s storms, and they know it. There’s a flu, and we all cower in fear, shutting down our economies. What a lame-ass bunch of cowards we are. Why would we expect any more from the son’s and daughter’s of such foolish cowards? We need to repent and turn from our godless cowardice and foolish worldly notions. Our kids will pay for our stupidity. And I don’t just mean the trillions of dollars we are currently putting on their tab. LOL Young Suckers!!! We showed them! They’ll only inherit debt, both financial and moral insolvency, from our generation!

    Liked by 5 people

  17. Cill says:

    Exit question: what the heck is going on here?

    Well let’s start with positive discrimination / affirmative action. “Minorities” are being accepted into academic courses they have no hope of understanding, let alone completing. Gender-specific scholarships and bursaries and remedial classes entice women into STEM subjects they have no affinity for, where they fail to reach the standards of the men. The armed forces, fire services and police encourage women to work in physically demanding occupations where they are far too weak and fragile to do what is expected of the men. Also, women can’t compete in business without grants and preferences that are not available to men.

    All this female privilege plays against a backgound of feminist assurances that men are not superior in any respect, whereas women are superior in many respects.

    Women are less capable of coping with this “superiority” than men would be. When women are overwhelmed or fail, Feminism cements their failure by blaming it on oppressive patriarchal society. Men, they say, are holding women back from their true place at the top.

    Even if there were no Feminism, women would still naturally group-think their way toward the excuse of oppression. This aspect of their nature ensures that they will never face the reality that they are just not good enough to be the superior sex nor even the equal of men as independent agents in a competetive world.

    Liked by 11 people

  18. Cheque d'Out says:
    CBC Instructs Kids on How to Shut Down Their Parents’ “Conspiracy Theories”
    Despite the “conspiracy theory” in question literally being true.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Farm Boy says:

    Our Glorious Patriarch this morning

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Farm Boy says:

    A Chicago hospital treating severe Covid-19 patients with Gilead Sciences’ antiviral medicine remdesivir in a closely watched clinical trial is seeing rapid recoveries in fever and respiratory symptoms, with nearly all patients discharged in less than a week


  21. SFC Ton says:

    So Fox news says the wu-flu was created in a lab? Is fox news credible?

    I trust the Babylon bee more then them PC commie liberal bastards at Fox New

    Liked by 3 people

  22. Farm Boy says:

    Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) told Fox News host Sean Hannity on Thursday night that China was the largest “state sponsor of pandemics” in the world, and they need to be sanctioned to change their behavior.


  23. Farm Boy says:

    Facebook has announced that it will begin issuing warnings to users who have clicked on or liked what it deems to be ‘misinformation’ about the coronavirus. The social network will also direct those users to a site where the World Health Organization “lists and debunks virus myths and rumors”


  24. Farm Boy says:

    Thai zoo forces chimp to ride bike, spray park with coronavirus disinfectant

    — New York Post (@nypost) April 17, 2020


  25. Farm Boy says:

    Time Traveler Desperately Explains To Noah Why He Can’t Let Those Bats Get On The Ark

    Liked by 3 people

  26. Cheque d'Out says:

    The doctor rang and said “We’ve got the results of your wife’s test back. She’s either got COVID-19 or Alzheimer’s”.

    I asked them what I should do and they said “Drive her out into the countryside and leave her. If she can find her way home don’t open the door”.

    Liked by 3 people

  27. Farm Boy says:

    Last week, Mita Mallick tried to share an opinion during an online meeting but her voice was drowned out.

    “I’m interrupted, like, three times and then I try to speak again and then two other people are speaking at the same time interrupting each other,” said Mallick, head of diversity and inclusion at the consumer goods company Unilever.

    When she finally did get a word in, she couldn’t gauge anyone’s response. She cracked a joke and couldn’t determine if anyone was laughing. She couldn’t tell if anyone agreed with the points she was trying to make. She just saw blank stares.

    Remote meetings are also starting to crystallize how much harder it is for women to be heard in group settings

    [TBH, no rational person wants to hear from the head of diversity and inclusion they do]

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Farm Boy says:

    The Hill reports Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) on Thursday night said the protests that took place in her state Wednesday demanding an end to her “stay-at-home” order could result in an extension of social distancing measures like it.


  29. horsemanbombadil says:

    Deti and Adam said variations of
    “The backbone of marriage was that men cared. Cared about women, what was going on with them in their heads, what they wanted, what they needed. And that women knew men cared, and at least made some effort for the one man who cared the most.”


    “The answer to the question is that I don’t care any more.”

    This is why it is doomed, unrecoverable. A deflationary spiral.

    Women started men not caring.
    So men have less interested in marriage (sex is not about caring).
    Somen married less. So men stopped working harder to be marriageable.
    So men became less attractive to women
    So they stopped caring about marriage.

    And now men care even less about the whys, the solutions.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. That’s a well-constructed joke. I think the last line could be tinkered with a little, but its quite funny as is.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. There’s 42 people in that meeting. Who thinks they can have a group discussion with 42 people over a webex? Morons, that’s who.

    And bonus points to Yoda(?). They all know she’s not worth listening to.

    [Of course it’s me I am]

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Has she banned the sale of torches and pitchforks along with seeds and mulch? Might want to look into that.

    Liked by 4 people

  33. Public schools have creating the desired useful idiots for 60+ years. That is all, except most private schools are heading that way as well now.

    Liked by 3 people

  34. Farm Boy says:

    Another diversity official

    An official at the University of Washington suggested Wednesday that the coronavirus may have originated in the United States, a highly disputed theory that has been advanced by officials within the Chinese government.

    Rickey Hall, vice president for minority affairs and diversity at the University of Washington, made the comments during a Zoom panel discussion


  35. Farm Boy says:

    GOP Mocks “Nancy Antoinette” Pelosi’s Quarantine Stash Of Expensive Ice Cream In A Very Expensive Freezer


  36. Farm Boy says:

    The politically-correct crowd has claimed another scalp.

    Quietly and without fanfare, the makers of Land O Lakes butter rubbed out the lovely maiden that was the centerpiece of the company’s logo for 100 years


  37. Farm Boy says:

    Feminist says coronavirus shows ‘it’s time to abolish the family’


  38. Farm Boy says:

    A new report on a promising potential coronavirus treatment produced by Gilead Sciences have sent stocks surging — Dow Jones Industrial Average futures jumping 789 points, S&P 500 futures rising 2.9%, and Nasdaq 100 futures climbing 2


  39. Farm Boy says:


  40. Have you been giving Biden elocution lessons, Mr. Y?

    [Not “Mr. Y”, but “Master Y” it would be]

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Hey Rickey (spells it like a fag), what is RNA?


    Thought so, now STFU.

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Isn’t it more racist not to have her on the box? Aren’t they “erasing” a beautiful female of color by doing so?

    “You been eating too much margarine, Kirok. I can help you.”

    Liked by 3 people

  43. Meant to post this one, but she has a great smile in the previous one.

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Feminist says coronavirus shows ‘it’s time to abolish the family’

    Operation “Shut up, bitch” will be ramping up to the next phase soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Liz says:

    Random blab:
    Price of ammo is up a lot. Back around February before the big run up, a thousand rounds was about 160. Now it’s 260.

    Liked by 2 people

  46. Well, I ain’t liking that, for sure. : (


  47. Cheque d'Out says:

    “Back around February before the big run up”
    On many occasions I find your horror prices to be my I wish
    Just saying

    Liked by 3 people

  48. Cheque d'Out says:

    Yeah…no…fuck you…

    Liked by 2 people

  49. Larry G says:

    Liz, be patient. Once all the new (and stupid) gun owners realize they have more ammo then they can possibly shoot, they will try to dump it. The last “ammo shortage” I sold boxes of .45 acp FMJ ball for $1 a round, $50 per box. Later bought 45 for $12 a box. People be dumber than crowbars when in a panic and I have zero sympathy for them

    Liked by 4 people

  50. Larry G says:

    “thousand rounds was about 160. Now it’s 260.”
    What kind of ammo? Caliber?


  51. Larry G says:

    my suggestion for a replacement Land O Lakes logo…

    Liked by 5 people

  52. Larry G says:

    Poke yo, Hantas

    Liked by 4 people

  53. Sumo says:

    On many occasions I find your horror prices to be my I wish
    Just saying

    I’m with the Glorious Patriarch on this one.

    Liked by 3 people

  54. Why … is … he … talking … like … a … robot … in … this … video.

    Sounds like a text-to-speech bot and you don’t actually see him in this video. Hmmmm.

    Liked by 1 person

  55. I’ve already pitched my teepee.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Liz says:

    it’s 9mm Larry.

    On many occasions I find your horror prices to be my I wish
    Just saying

    Heh, Mike says he has seen the Canadians in the gun stores from time to time.
    They say although they can’t buy, they just enjoy walking around and seeing all that is available to us. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Cill says:

    “I’ve already pitched my teepee.”

    How far did it reach, KH?


  58. Cill says:

    Hiya Watha Lotha Wampum
    (Indian with a lithp)

    Liked by 4 people

  59. Larry G says:

    Yeah, I noticed 9mm has doubled in price from some sellers, so has 45 acp and some .223. CBI background checks are still over 3 days wait so stupid has not taken a time out yet


  60. Larry G says:

    I use this a lot for bulk ammo buying

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Stephanie says:

    Just wondering… most stocks are still pretty risky right now, even though they appear to be going up a little, they’re probably going to go down in the next couple of months I’m guessing… Anyone have any good info on what will happen with cruise/air ones?


  62. Liz says:

    Stephanie, I wouldn’t invest in any airlines other than Southwest (ticker LUV).
    Warren Buffet bought some, then sold it for some reason….
    Most of the airlines are doing terrible right now. Mike’s flights typically have only about six or seven people in them. The margins for airlines are very small, so even when they’re filled to capacity they are only a little ahead.
    What SWA has going for it is, a lot of cash (though that supply is of course going down fast).
    And their model is better (employees are happier, they care about the company and so forth).
    Pilots are getting a pay cut, but they will most likely not furlough….
    Other airlines are going to furlough almost inevitably (think United is talking about furloughing a third of their pilots, I have a friend who works for them and is getting 1/3rd pay now).
    SWA is at a pretty good price (though of course I don’t know what the future holds).
    We just recently signed on to an employee stock purchase plan so we buy a little every month. It is a really good company. Can’t promise it won’t go down but it’s the only one I’d put money into since it is the best run by far (I’ve heard Alaskan air is also good…but have no first hand knowledge).

    Liked by 2 people

  63. Stephanie says:

    SWA were the only one I was going to buy, Liz, thanks for the info.

    I can’t imagine why on Earth someone would want to be trapped again on a plague-ridden ship, but apparently cruises may make a huge comeback… ?

    Also saw the Saudis bailed some out but not sure on that one

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Liz says:

    Farmboy put up a FB post recently from a bison farmer in Colorado who needed to sell to homes since the restaurants are shut down.

    Here is his a link to website if anyone is interested.

    Liked by 3 people

  65. SFC Ton says:

    I would not advice anyone to own stock until after they own some serious, income producing assets like an apartment complex, used car lot etc etc

    “The markets” arent desgined to help middle class people do am damn thing but they do help the big time investors reduce risk and manipulate things to their benefit

    Liked by 4 people

  66. Valley deep and mountain high.


  67. I have a new bookmark.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Larry G says:

    “Farmboy put up a FB post recently from a bison farmer in Colorado who needed to sell to homes since the restaurants are shut down.”

    yeah, going to give him some business shortly. Wife is spending a LOT of time rattling pans in the kitchen. Love her cooking, but starting to get on an industrial scale…..I just can’t eat three pans of brownies by myself

    Liked by 4 people

  69. Farm Boy says:

    A very interesting read. Check it out

    Original Goal: Prevent Healthcare System Saturation
    The healthcare system is not overwhelmed, it is underwhelmed and being damaged.


  70. Farm Boy says:

    Upcoming 1776 Revival to Feature Entirely Female, Nonbinary, Trans, Genderqueer Company


  71. Cheque d'Out says:

    Hopefully accurate

    Liked by 3 people

  72. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Liz says:

    Think I know where the best writers for the Onion went. 😆

    Liked by 2 people

  74. Farm Boy says:

    If the deaths are at 66 and the true infected population is 48K then the fatality rate is .14% !!

    If the range is at the upper end and 81K people were infected then the fatality rate is not even .1%

    — Justin Hart (@justin_hart) April 17, 2020

    Liked by 2 people

  75. Farm Boy says:

    WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats are scrambling to defend Brett Kavanaugh against his accusers after he put on a Joe Biden mask Friday morning.

    “We believe you are a great man of upstanding moral character, and we do not believe your accusers,” said Alyssa Milano to Justice Kavanaugh hiding behind the Biden mask


  76. Farm Boy says:

    Sweeping testing of the entire crew of the coronavirus-stricken U.S. aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt may have revealed a clue about the pandemic: The majority of the positive cases so far are among sailors who are asymptomatic, officials say.

    Roughly 60 percent of the over 600 sailors who tested positive so far have not shown symptoms of COVID-19, the potentially lethal respiratory disease caused by the coronavirus, the Navy says. The service did not speculate about how many might later develop symptoms or remain asymptomatic.

    “With regard to COVID-19, we’re learning that stealth in the form of asymptomatic transmission is this adversary’s secret power,” said Rear Admiral Bruce Gillingham, surgeon general of the Navy


  77. Ame says:

    Gunner – being a wife, mother, housekeeper … best ever in my life. But I’m a bit weird these days, I guess.


  78. Ame says:

    Miss Tarn.


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