On Prancer and Vixen…


Why do women always want a Christmas holiday “relationship”?

From Elite Daily,

“This is my favorite time of year.  And despite what you might think, I’m not alone, which is why now is the most popular time of year for a relationship.

Think about that statement in bold.  She thinks everyone wants a relationship at Christmas, which is clearly Projection.  And why?  It’s because she is “not alone”, which I take means that she has many “opportunities”.  That’s first rate solipsism, right there.  I get the impression that she thinks the world is a circus carousel carnifest.

But actually, it’s true.  Christmas is the most popular time of year for relationships.  Why is that?

It’s a magical time.  And yes were also in peak love season, or at least that’s how it feels.  It feels like every year around this time, everyone I know — even the proud to be free and single crowd — is snuggling up with a new boo.  Check back in around spring time and that may have changed, but for right now, pretty much everyone is roasting more than chestnuts by an open fire, if you know what I’m saying.”

Whatever could she mean by “peak love season”, when she fully expects the relationship to fail within the next couple months?  Perhaps this is merely a tinsel decked euphemism for “peak mating season”.

“If familial bonds help inspire us to form new relationships this time of year, does that mean they have a better chance of going the distance?  As it turns out, not necessarily.  While people may be more likely to form new relationships during this season, there’s no guarantee that when the weather warms the romance won’t cool.  “The spring and summer are times of ‘new beginnings’ and people crave freedom”…  “But in the fall, people crave companionships and familiarity.  Who doesn’t want a holiday gift from their some special?”

It seems the logic goes something like, “Eat your chestnuts while they’re hot, because they won’t be hot after New Year’s”.  Tingles Uber Alles is the only sure thing.

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But not all women are looking to stick a poker in their hearth.  Some are looking to sweep the chimney.  Consider this one from Elle,

I have actually ended two relationships right before the holidays, and yes, I do believe the holiday season had something to do with it“, she says.  One was a relationship that ended when she was 22; the other was her marriage — which she left two years ago.  Both times, the pressure of the holidays forced her hand.

Have you ever wondered why there is a divorce spike in December?

During holiday time, society tells you that you’ve got to start thinking about the people that mean the most to you—buying them nice presents and spending quality time together“, she says.

After 10 years of marriage, she and her husband were making plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas, when [Shrew] started to feel seriously pressured.

It was the breaking point“, she says. “I was like, I’m either going to break up with him by the holidays — or fake my way through.

She didn’t want to keep up a facade. In November, she told him she wanted a divorce—and [Shrew] says she sees many of her clients go through the same deliberation.”

“Thinking about the people that mean the most to you” is an important mantra.  But it doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone.  You might think this would require her to patch things up with hubby.  But no…  It requires her to get rid of the boring beta man she’s with, so that she can be the next grift under the tree for the hawt alpha who is no farther away than the nearest mistletoe.

Remember, it’s better to give than to receive – unless she’s on her knees.

“I think the biggest reason people break up before or after the holiday is guilt,” she says, adding, “If they suffer through the holiday, they tend to stay together longer because in their minds, they have to justify what they did to get that far.”

She never says what she feels guilty about.  Could it be that she feels guilty about being trapped in an unhaaappy relationship and is contemplating a breakup/divorce?  Or perhaps it was that brief encounter in the cloak room at the company’s Christmas party?

She is right about women needing to justify whatever they did “to get that far”.

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No matter.  Many men are already aware of the Christmas story, and the RP men stopped believing in Santa Claus.  One guy on Cosmopolitan explains the reluctant male point of view.

“Your budding romance may seem set to burst into bloom just in time for Santa’s arrival, but no: don’t expect anything to become fully official until [after New Year’s].  For men, an unspoken relationship freeze is happening from now until the January sales.  While it may be all systems go for you, a man will drag his feet at this time of year before he’ll admit he’s all yours.”

A wise man will use the familial festivities of the holidays to thoroughly vet his women.

“As the old break-up spiel goes, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  Or in this case, us. […] We admit we’re almost an item, but unfortunately we’re just not going to pass ‘Go’ for another couple of weeks.”

It would be more rudely honest to say, “[This relationship] is about you, it’s not about me”, and therein lies the hold up.  A RP man knows her enthusiasm is NOT about him.  She just wants to capitalize on all the various opportunities for fun thrills and affirmation that present themselves around the holidays.  Who the guy is isn’t as important as the image he can give her.

“We panic.  We don’t think about the long game and the amazing, fulfilling relationship we could have with you.  We think of the short game, the one called ‘Oh-my-god-she-wants-to-own-me-and-I’ll-never-get-to-see-any-other-woman-naked-again’.  We freeze.”

It is interesting to note that men’s idea of “short game” and “long game” is different from women’s concepts.  This is because they bring different things to the SMP table.  Men bring commitment, finances, resources, and stability.  Women bring sex, children, and companionship (maybe).

For men, “short game” means relatively small investments with immediate payoffs, while “long game” implies commitment, and a larger investment with a larger payoff.

Men are usually not hesitant with “short game”, but they should be very hesitant when they are not sure this woman is capable of a larger payoff in the “long game”.

On the other hand, women should be very hesitant with “short game”, and should be exploring their options in “long game” much earlier in life (say around 20ish).

But we know too many women who aren’t this way.  Women’s idea of “short game” include those one-off flings which “don’t count” – that one N which will never be added to the tally, and will never be told to subsequent boyfriends.  Their concept of “long game” is when they expect investment (like a Christmas present), and they tell everyone that you’re an item (someone they can show off at Christmas parties to invoke envy among the hive).  But of course, that doesn’t mean that the relationship will last any longer than a few months.

Going back to the question, why do women always want a Christmas holiday “relationship”?  The answer is becoming clearer…

About

Jack is a world traveling artist, skilled in trading ideas and information, none of which are considered too holy, too nerdy, nor too profane to hijack and twist into useful fashion. Sigma Frame Mindsets and methods for building and maintaining a masculine Frame

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