Over at Dalrock’s, commenter Wagner Tench writes,
I’m a young man at a prominent California Christian college, and the expectation for “chivalry” is rather high. The girls often want to get married quickly despite being steeped in debt, and even if they are more focused on their career, they still usually treat dating/courtship as a huge deal, with “dtr” meetings taking place as little as two or three weeks in.
Consequently, very few men are willing to jump through the necessary hoops just for the slight chance at getting either a typical mainstream Christian marriage or a girlfriend who expects commitment and investment but brings little to the table herself.
The girls here are some of the prettiest I’ve ever seen. Lots of adorable blondes and redheads, and most dress reasonably modestly by modern standards. But the combination of student debt (for both men and women), unreasonable female expectations, men’s lack of willingness to risk rejection and coming across as desperate, and men’s increasing realization that investing in even conservative Christian girls is not usually worth the investment in college has made a lot of girls (and men) here very lonely. Even still, the girls here by and large just sit around wondering why men won’t ask them out. They don’t lower their standards or take initiative, and if they can’t find a man at school, they’ll sometimes find a guy outside the school. Also, I have noticed a massive increase in interracial dating because white men are increasingly ignoring romance with white girls, and there was already a surplus of white girls here.
One of my baby boomer professors goes on rants blaming it all on technology, and I just laugh. Maybe if college wasn’t so damn expensive and more men could have a relationship/marriage without debasing themselves and risking emasculation, the marriage rates would go up.
So here is the perfect spot for men and women to get together with the result being marriage. It is officially sanctioned and all. Yet, according to this fella, it is not happening. Apparently, it is not even close to happening.
I was never part of this culture, so I really can’t comment to extensively, but it seems that the fellas understand the score, but the gals don’t. The guys have had reality pounded into them by watching real stuff as they matured; the girls on the other hand have been fed a bunch a propaganda, with lots of indulgences thrown their way seemingly confirming the propaganda.
If the gals saw reality, they would lower their standard; they would take the initiative. Perhaps they believe that the fellas will come around eventually. They are after all, worth it.
Since women really do want to get married, protestations aside, is keeping them in the dark doing them any favors?