Let Me Fix This — Part III
Dating app haters says the impersonal and laissez-faire approach to connecting and communicating – combined with the ghosting, catfishing, fake profiles and no-shows – have made more and more people anxious and incredibly stressed about searching for love online.
Not to defend the above, but the fellas have not had it so well either. For the serious, (and often not serious), lots of attempts at initiation, few replies. Probably they don’t meet the 100 point checklist. Some fellas move on, others decide to try a different approach; often employing some type deception.
A growing number of millennials are also part of this trend, with multiple studies showing most hate hookup culture and online dating – which have become synonymous. They want stability and a relationship built on trust and loyalty. Substance instead of swipes.
So what is happening here? Why are the fellas getting “crass” in the first five messages? A big reason is that it very often is effective, showing value, negging, etc. If that doesn’t work in a given case, move on. An attempt at a long drawn out set of exchanges will cause her to be bored and wonder if this fella has any worth.
This is the world that has been created, show value fast or die.
Of course, the women would say, “I would really like a clever exchange of banter”. But what is clever? And do they mean it anyway?
So we see a that a dysfunctional world has been created, with many people ill-suited for relationships trying to navigate it. Many have a grab all I can right now attitude. Probably some of that comes from trying to cope with the dysfunction. Probably some of it doesn’t. Saying this would be leveling with the readers.