Relationship Skills


BV wrote,

The biggest blind spot I see with women 30+ is they don’t understand the huge gulf that exists between professional singles and someone who’s been part of a real couple. Ordering dinner is a cinch: a quick check to confirm and I order for both of us.

Or a great compliment for a small thing. My ex-Gf and I were early risers and I would ask, night before, “Ok, what time out the door?” And at 5:30 am I’d be sitting in the entryway, dressed showered packed. Car warming. Once she said, “I love the way you are always ready to *move*.” And she compared me to some actor action hero. Professional singles have no idea how the smaller things, day to day over time, consistently applied, add comfort and value to a relationship. It’s just rando with them.

Why yes, there are a different set of skills required for long term relationships compared to flings.  Undoubtedly, there are huge swaths of people who have never even considered such a notion.  Which is unfortunate for all.  But then, nobody has ever explicitly told them, as fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, churches, etc. for no apparent reason seem to have mostly abdicated in this regard.  Perhaps, they know that they can not compete with the modern, if it feels good, do it message.

A basic problem with this message is that it teaches people to only operate in the short term.  With lots of dopamine and exciting hormones flowing in the short term, there is a masking effect of with respect to what is important in the long term.  When things become a bit less exciting, and people start reflecting on what the other person in the relationship has/has not done, often they come up wanting.  More reflective people might consider their own behavior, and find it wanting also.  In any event, it might be best to just find somebody new and exciting such that the wash of chemicals can cover everything up again.  A fine example of this would be out Yellow Hat Lady, Emily Hart.   She all but admits that this is her strategy.  Consider her latest videos here and here.  Assess how well it has worked.

Skills/behaviors that work better in relationships typically start with not pissing the other party off.  Probably they touch something deeper inside, often little at a time.  There is seemingly an accumulation effect, where such behaviors repeated over time add up to something much more.  Furthermore, there are undoubtedly many such behaviors that can/do operate this way.  I leave it to the commenters to what such skills/behaviors these might be.  There are probably common themes, manifesting itself differently in people.  So how does it all work?

 

Posted in Dating????, FarmBoy, HowTo
189 comments on “Relationship Skills
  1. Farm Boy says:

    Note that some people will be pissed off at the silliest things. Probably they are not good relationship material

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Jack says:

    My father once told me that, later in life, you remember the little things – things that you never thought were that important. But if you can’t remember anything, that would amount to little more than years wasted in a bad relationship.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Cill says:

    Hail all ye deplorables!

    Crusaders vs Hurricanes tonight. To all ye who lag on the wrong side of the international date line, let it be known – nay, blast it to the rooftops – that I refer to an impending joust in a Southern Hemisphere tournament in the good old game of rugger.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Ame says:

    When things become a bit less exciting, and people start reflecting on what the other person in the relationship has/has not done, often they come up wanting.

    i like how you said, “When,” Farm Boy, because it will happen. i always try to catch that quickly and change how i’m thinking … focusing on the good. i don’t always succeed, and my Husband has to set me straight 😉 … but it’s a good discipline to get into for all areas of life … to focus on the good and to be thankful.

    Skills/behaviors that work better in relationships typically start with not pissing the other party off.

    LOL! Truth right there, Farm Boy!

    Probably they touch something deeper inside, often little at a time.

    absolutely. wise one is to evaluate that.

    There is seemingly an accumulation effect, where such behaviors repeated over time add up to something much more.

    things definitely do accumulate over time – negative and positive. build up the positive and diminish the negative.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Cheque d'Out says:

    Tommy’s Panodrama

    followed by England v Wales in the 6 Nations.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. RichardP says:

    I have a list of quotes I collected on an old DOS laptop as I read through the newspaper and phrases jumped out at me. (Windows 3 on it, I think.) Won’t go find it and fire it up, but there were a couple of quotes by famous folks that come to mind. I just don’t remember who they were:

    * Marriage is more about two people learning to occupy the same space together than it is about love or anything else. (I remember that was spoken by a woman) That is a good general summary for the theme that has been introduced by FB in this thread. What things must be learned to best facilitate the occupying of the same space together? I think kindness would have to be near or at the top of the list.

    * Too many of the ills of the world can be traced to the inability of a man (human) to sit quietly in a room (Spoken by a man). That malady would tend to work against the display of kindness I would think.

    I have also heard expressed from time to time this distinction between two different wills to power: one wants the power in order to do something; the other wants the power in order to be somebody. The first one is comfortable in their own skin; the second one is not.

    Consider a relationship where both desire to exercise power in order to “be somebody”. Neither are comfortable in their own skin. Probably won’t see a lot of kindness in that situation.

    I think “comfortable in one’s own skin” and “kindness” go together. And I think “comfortable in one’s own skin” comes from having had plenty of opportunities in which to develop and demonstrate one’s competence. My experience is that a sense of one’s own competence comes from growing up in situations where you got to / had to help your parents build something – a farm, a store, a restaurant, a small business, where the kids get roped in to do the grunt work. I don’t think it is an accident that a goodly number of our past U.S. Presidents have come from the mid-west, having grown up doing chores and helping in their parent’s business. They learned that work could be joyful and boring, by turns, but that persistence tended to result inthe building of something good.

    Persistence; stick-to-it ivenss. The end result – a thing well built – is the goal, not the feelings of the moment. Question is, can folks do this because they naturally have a long time horizon, or does doing this – delayed gratificaation in pursuit of the thing well built – create the ability to have a long-term time horizon?

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Cheque d'Out says:

    I think that there might be romance in the air

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Cheque d'Out says:

    My new desktop (until the next one)

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Cheque d'Out says:

    Like

  10. Yes, this is so true and not nearly enough taught or reinforced today. Familiarity and knowing someone deeply and well is what sustains on less than sunny days.

    For example a couple I know, longtime married, late 60s or so, amazed me the other day with stories of heath challanges long before I knew them that they endured together. She had an Aneurysm ready to blow at any moment discovered by lucky accident in her 30s. Young mom, kids at home, etc. the operation to save her life was a success but complications left her unable to use one side of her body. She had to learn to walk, talk, etc all over again! Years later, an accident at work left him with his own physical challenges to overcome. You would never know it meeting them today. As they told these stories you could see the experiences had bound them deeply together and their helping each other through was a source of pride, a badge of honor and part of their joint 40+ year journey together. The thought crossed my mind, what if they had not had the other to help each other through? Or the relationship mentality that helped them endure such hardships together? They are so sweet and caring of each other, I can hardly imagine them apart. It was truly touching to hear these parts of their story I had not known and to realize all they had overcome. Beautiful.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. Cheque d'Out says:

    Later

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Cheque d'Out says:

    Still 85 minutes off

    Numbers rising but little to see afaics

    Like

  13. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Cheque d'Out says:

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  15. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Cheque d'Out says:

    UKIP’s Gerard Batten speaks about 36 minutes from the start

    Like

  18. Farm Boy says:

    Yellow Vests live

    Like

  19. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Farm Boy says:

    Here’s the thing about the Postmodern Left: They don’t give a damn about jobs, wages, or really even any particular government program or Green New Deal or Five-Year Plan, or whatever it is they’re peddling this week. They’re just cynically cashing in on the system they pretend to disparage and despise. (Actually, the despisement is real.)

    AOC is an excellent case in point. She enjoyed a privileged upbringing, was awarded a prestigious credential (I refuse to say she “earned a degree”) by a famous school, enjoyed her mid-20s living the bohemian life, saw her chance to become famous — and leapt at it at once

    https://pjmedia.com/vodkapundit/stupid-midwesterners-dont-understand-aocs-job-killing-joy/

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Farm Boy says:

    Police in Falmouth, Mass., were called to the Casa Vallarta bar at about 8 p.m. Friday after Rosiane Santos, 41, allegedly went on a drunken rampage, verbally assaulting and attacking a man who says he was minding his own business.

    Bryton Turner said it was due to the MAGA hat he was wearing.

    https://pjmedia.com/trending/mass-woman-charged-with-assault-after-attacking-maga-hat-wearing-man-in-bar/

    Like

  23. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 3 people

  24. Farm Boy says:

    How much of the BBC’s revenue is from the fee?

    Like

  25. Farm Boy says:

    Modern race engineering offers Kafkaesque absurdities. The national rugby team is required to field a side that is “55% black” rather than 100 percent competitive. Since each team comprises 15 men, at least 8.25 of them must be black to satisfy the quota police. It is entirely unclear how the fractions will be settled—possibly by juggling injury substitutions or manipulating DNA tests.

    The corrosiveness of quotas and the low expectations it engenders are everywhere apparent as South Africa slides closer to an abyss littered with the corpses of failed states that have gone before it.

    http://thefederalist.com/2019/02/22/10-scary-facts-indicating-south-africa-becoming-next-venezuela/

    Like

  26. Cheque d'Out says:

    Actual doc just starting. 52 minutes from the start of stream

    Like

  27. Cheque d'Out says:

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Farm Boy says:

    Smollett is the consequence of a “victim culture” in which social status is gained through victim “faming”. While not entirely meritless, this typically cuck-preferred argument is misleading. If a victim culture were the primary motivating force behind all these hate hoaxes, why is it primarily White Christian men targeted by the victim mongers? A true victim culture would feature a more random assortment of perpetrators to boost the opportunities available to the victim whore.

    The truth is that the fundamental motivation of these hate hoaxes, and the nature of the culture which exalts the hate hoax mentality, is HATRED OF WHITE PEOPLE, and specifically hatred of White Christian men.

    https://pushingrubberdownhill.com/2019/02/23/friday-hawt-chicks-links-no-country-for-white-christian-men-edition/

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Cheque d'Out says:

    Don’t need to be a faceberg user to watch

    Like

  30. Cheque d'Out says:

    Streams going down like nine pins

    Like

  31. Cheque d'Out says:

    Ok audio on this one…so far

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Farm Boy says:

    Former UNC-Chapel Hill wrestling coach C.D. Mock helped file the complaint. The university fired him in 2015 – and replaced him with an inexperienced coach – months before a court cleared Mock’s son of wrongdoing in a sexual assault investigation at the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga.

    The coach blamed his firing on his outspoken public criticism of Title IX investigations that lacked due process, rather than the poor team performance cited by UNC. Mock joined NCFM Carolinas as a board member and spokesperson last year

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/356-days-how-long-department-of-education-has-sat-on-anti-male-bias-complaint-against-unc-system/

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Cheque d'Out says:

    Oh dear, oh dear this extends well beyond a shit reporter on a bent documentary

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Farm Boy says:

    Notice how you never hear this crap when somebody is falsely accused of, say, murder? “Sure, maybe he didn’t really kill that guy. But murders still happen!” Nobody would claim that murder doesn’t exist just because a particular person wasn’t guilty of it. And pointing out that a particular hate crime is a hoax is not denying the existence of hate crimes.

    This keeps happening, over and over and over. If you were skeptical when Jackie Coakley claimed she was gang-raped on broken glass at a UVA frat party, or if you doubted Mattress Girl’s story, you were a “rape denier.” Then feminists were furious that it didn’t happen. The skeptics were hurting actual victims, they claimed. We were denying that rape ever happens, they lied.

    It’s not about helping crime victims. It’s about pushing a political agenda. They need a constant supply of victims and oppressors, they need to keep the outrage stoked up, and they don’t have time to worry about whether or not it’s true.

    https://pjmedia.com/trending/if-you-believevictims-without-question-youll-get-more-of-them/

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Liz says:

    Our plow broke. 😦
    Just taking a snow shoveling break to defrost my fingers (the rest of me is overheated).

    A song, to summarize my morning:
    I’m here without you plowie
    But you’re still on my lonely mind.
    I think about you plowie and I dream about you all the time.
    I’m here without you plowie
    But you’re still with me in my dreams
    And tonight plow, it’s only you and me.

    Liked by 3 people

  36. Farm Boy says:

    Back in 1972, Sanders wrote an article for an “alternative” (read: Commie) Vermont newspaper titled “Man—and Woman,” where he opined:

    A man goes home and masturbates his typical fantasy. A woman on her knees, a woman tied up, a woman abused. A woman enjoys intercourse with her man–as she fantasizes being raped by 3 men simultaneously.

    He wrote that. Not even Snopes could find a way to deny it.

    https://pjmedia.com/trending/bernie-sander-1972-violent-rape-fantasy-article-surfaces/

    Liked by 2 people

  37. Farm Boy says:

    Liz shaking the snow off

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Cheque d'Out says:

    Plow? The daffodils are coming into bloom (hang over from the previous owners), I need to cut the lawn and the heating hasn’t been for a week or more.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Larry G says:

    totally off topic but fascinating..

    Liked by 3 people

  40. Liz says:

    Per the topic, think I’ve mentioned before we are our habits. That includes things like considerate behavior. I can’t imagine what it would be like (to use an example FML gave) to live with a person who is constantly hostile. I’m sure it develops over time and both start to feed off each other. Come home to constant hostility/depression/whatnot and eventually one starts to associate the person with the feelings they have when they’re around them. I’m sure over time, it’s a feedback loop that’s hard to break (maybe impossible).

    Liked by 3 people

  41. Liz says:

    The above also kind of illustrates why humor is important. Taking everything terribly seriously and without humor creates a negative association too. Obviously it’s all relative…there’s a time for seriousness, but the everything is terribly important all the time channel is a downer (also a sign of insanity).

    Liked by 4 people

  42. Farm Boy says:

    Why does the left lie?

    There are two main reasons.

    One is that leftists deem their goals more important than telling the truth. For example, every honest economist knows women do not earn 20 percent less money than men for the same work done for the same amount of hours under the same conditions. Yet leftists repeat the lie that women earn 78 cents for every dollar men earn. Why any employers would hire men when they could hire women and get the same amount of work done at the same level of excellence for the same number of hours while saving 20 cents on the dollar is a question only God or the sphinx could answer.

    So, when New York Times columnists write this nonsense, do they believe it? The answer is they don’t ask themselves, “Is it true?” They ask themselves, “Does the claim help promote the left-wing doctrine that women are oppressed?” Whatever serves that end is morally justified.

    The second reason is leftism is rooted in feelings, not reason or truth. From Karl Marx to Bernie Sanders, left-wing preference for socialism over capitalism is entirely rooted in emotion. Only capitalism creates wealth. Socialism merely spends what capitalism creates. Do leftists not know this? Even if they know it, the emotional pull of socialism prevails.

    Do leftists believe there are more than two sexes? Of course not. That’s why they renamed “sex” “gender” — and then redefined “gender” to mean whatever one wants it to mean.

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/43862/prager-explaining-left-part-vi-do-leftists-believe-dennis-prager

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Liz says:

    Just to add, I think people have a way of taking their spouse for granted and it is very very important to be aware of that “habit pattern”/association risk. It isn’t generally one action that determines everything, it develops over time.
    I think if one is aware they aren’t just living a life together but building a series of associations (either pleasant or unpleasant) it helps to keep one from taking the other for granted.
    Of course, trust and loyalty fit into all it (building versus breaking down). Also helps to think of loyalty in terms of “habit”. I think that’s why divorce is contagious (say in a women’s coffee clutch). It becomes a habit to complain about the spouse…that generates interest from the other women and they provide positive feedback (he doesn’t deserve you!), the act itself is disloyal in the extreme. Nothing good can be built on that sort of foundation.

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Cheque d'Out says:

    Regarding Tommy’s Panadrama.
    1. Gérard Batten, the UKIP leader, made a decent speech before the doc was shown. There’s a comment above that points to it.
    2. Wait for the direct download of the documentary (intended for 21:00) because the picture and audio of the livestreams are very poor at times.

    [Post this the Glorious Patriarch will?]

    Like

  45. Cill says:

    If you’ve got 46 minutes to spare, here’s a bloke fresh out of England taking a ride in my part of the world. At about 11:00 on the video he meets a fella like a Tom the Maori (but only about 1/3 of the size and savagery).

    Later on you’ll see the pond where I dispose of dead bodies without a trace (just kiddin’) then back to Johnny the Maori for the hangi. This takes place not far south from Moe country, which is much wilder than the places he shows. You’ll even see a Kiwi, the only bird in the world with its foreskin attached to its eyelash (Ame, Liz, don’t throw sand in the bird’s eye).
    (Kiddin’ again).

    He meets some weird-looking blokes as well. The South Island ones near the end e.g. “Big Mack” are more normal.

    [Want to see Moe I do]

    Liked by 4 people

  46. RichardP says:

    @Liz – We had several massive rain-storms pass through here in the Los Angeles area a week or so ago. Weather goes from west to east, so Arizona got hit several days after we did. I have a friend managing a camp at about 6,000 feet above sea level just south of Prescott AZ and another in Flagstaff AZ. The camp got about 52″ of snow over the last several days and Flagstaff got about the same. Did any of that hit you? I notice Denver is significantly north of Flagstaff so I don’t know if the storm tracked that far noth.

    Good comments you are making of relationship skills.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Liz says:

    hey Richard, I’m not sure exactly how much snow we got but I’d estimate it was about eight inches total in a couple of days. Not too bad. We’re about 45 minutes from Denver.
    Think we got about five inches or so last night (maybe six….enough to need to plow).
    Think if I lived in a place with 52” I’d just buy a snowmobile and forget about shoveling. 🙂
    We live at 9,000 ft elevation, and it’s on the shady side of the mountain so the snow doesn’t really thaw…takes long time anyway.
    I have to be careful to push the snow far enough away from the driveway and walkway areas so I have a place to put the new stuff. Otherwise, I’m stuck with some monstrous six foot tall wall of snow, trying to fling the new stuff over. Learned this the hard way. 😆
    On the bright side, I got a couple of small propane space heaters now (h/t BV) so if we lose power we won’t have to worry about the pipes freezing (or us freezing…knock on wood).

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Farm Boy says:

    Yup. If you don’t like the #GreenNewDeal, then come up with your own ambitious, on-scale proposal to address the global climate crisis.

    Until then, we’re in charge – and you’re just shouting from the cheap seats. https://t.co/h3KSJhHqDN
    — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) February 23, 2019

    Like

  49. Farm Boy says:

    As we all know, AOC is really stupid.

    Consider this, the US possesses only 15% of the greenhouse gas emissions. Even if the Green New Deal was gloriously successful, there is still the other 85%

    Liked by 4 people

  50. Cheque d'Out says:

    I’ll keep an eye out for the doc, if I see it, I’ll post it

    Liked by 1 person

  51. SFC Ton says:

    Just taking a snow shoveling break to defrost my fingers (the rest of me is overheated).
    ……….
    It’s 86F down here, clear blue skies and no rain in sight

    Liked by 5 people

  52. Farm Boy says:

    HOLLYWOOD, CA—A report coming out of Hollywood this afternoon revealed that a 4-hour-long political lecture scheduled for Sunday will be disguised as an awards show in order to drum up interest.

    “See, if we just asked people to tune in for four hours of virtue-signaling and political posturing, we’d have zero viewers,” said one of the show’s organizers. “If we want to keep the three or four viewers we still have left, we have to pretend the purpose of this ceremony is to hand out awards for excellent movies released in the last year.”

    https://babylonbee.com/news/4-hour-long-political-lecture-seminar-to-be-disguised-as-an-awards-show

    Liked by 1 person

  53. Stephanie says:

    ” the act itself is disloyal in the extreme”

    But the real question is… why don’t women seem to realize this?

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Stephanie says:

    The wife should be guarding his reputation.

    I was just at a mom’s group thing, the first group or Bible study thing I’ve been to in probably 2 years, and there was a short rant from one of the women on her husband’s messiness, and it just felt ***awkward*** even hearing it! I mean, it really is like gossip, only she’s supposed to be protecting her man from that.

    Very disloyal… 😦 and it appears they don’t even realize when they’re doing it (?)

    Liked by 4 people

  55. Larry G says:

    If a man owned a dog that behaved like the women of today, why would he keep it?

    Liked by 7 people

  56. Cheque d'Out says:

    One for the mathematicians amongst us?

    Liked by 2 people

  57. Cheque d'Out says:

    Dark and misty at fifty. Suits me. My love spuds don’t boil come the summer, this is the trade that we make.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. SFC Ton says:

    Yeah? How many hard body college chicks in bikini have you seen today?

    I also caught 3 mullets this morning by wading into the gulf and casting a net

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Cheque d'Out says:

    Oh your weather right now sounds great. Just saying that I don’t like it much hotter than that.

    Like

  60. Cheque d'Out says:

    Rumours that the documentary comes tomorrow.

    Like

  61. BuenaVista says:

    “The daffodils are coming into bloom (hang over from the previous owners), I need to cut the lawn and the heating hasn’t been for a week or more.”

    Snow, 50mph wind, whiteout conditions and high temp of 4F, tomorrow!

    Liked by 2 people

  62. BuenaVista says:

    Not trying to be a smarmy big brother (again), but are you really trying to push snow with a four-wheeler?

    Another way to do it is buy a beater 3/4 ton truck, mount a proper blade. When it’s warm, you drop the blade, and you haul your firewood in it.

    My suspicion is that your neighbors went for Door #2, or hired somebody who did.

    Liked by 3 people

  63. mgtowhorseman says:

    https://weather.gc.ca/warnings/report_e.html?on27#900310291901824111201902230503ws1171cwto

    Dropping from plus 3 to -8 tomorrow with 100km+ winds and snow.
    Fuck y’all. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  64. BuenaVista says:

    “But the real question is… why don’t women seem to realize this?”

    Because there’s social reward, not penalty for her behaving this way. People do what they’re rewarded to do.

    Liked by 4 people

  65. Liz says:

    Ton, glad to hear the Florida girls are representing well. 🙂

    Like

  66. RichardP says:

    @Liz said: if I lived in a place with 52” I’d just buy a snowmobile and forget about shoveling.

    He is in Arizona after all. This was a monster rain storm for us, and a monster snow storm for my friend. The forest rangers said it broke all records. But the warmup will begin in a few days and most everything will melt. Funny thing is, he has been on the new job for about 2 months. Was in Alaska for 9.5 years – Juneau first (down low), than Fairbanks (up high). He said they never got more than 18″ of snow out of any given storm, and usually much less. Problem was, it never melted for months, while this snow will melt shortly. Good for all the reservoirs below.

    And, yeah – when you live where it snows a lot, you need a strategy like you said. Plus, pace yourself. Deep snow that must be shoveled is a heart-attack waiting to happen if you don’t pace yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Liz says:

    are you really trying to push snow with a four-wheeler?

    Is that wrong? 😆

    Like

  68. Liz says:

    If a man owned a dog that behaved like the women of today, why would he keep it?
    Would he even let it live? 😆

    [Harsh this is]

    Stephanie, I agree with what BV said about incentives.
    I’m sure there was a time in the past where bad mouthing one’s husband to others was heavily discouraged. Now both victimhood and disloyalty are incentivized. A twofer!

    Liked by 3 people

  69. BuenaVista says:

    I’m more of an over-the-bars guy, not a Sporty sort, and I can’t wait till May to get on one of the TWO bikes I now have in the shed, but I have a question for The Cill: If I ride a bike in NZ, do I also have to learn to shift gears on the wrong side?

    ***

    Thank you for the video. Now I know why my Dad loved NZ so much. The inland vistas are not unlike the bluffs and Loess Hills on the Mississippi and Missouri. The interviewees have the same wry good humor I spent the morning bullshitting with in the barber shop, waiting to get my beard fixed. Wonderful video.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. Cheque d'Out says:

    I don’t live in Wells but it’ll do as a representative forecast
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/2634569

    Not bad. One could be forgiven for hoping that winter is done but it’s too early yet.

    Like

  71. Farm Boy says:

    are you really trying to push snow with a four-wheeler?

    It is not wrong. If it is truly four wheel drive, then there is lots of potential.

    A posable problem comes when there are repeated large storms. The snow banks can get large, leading to the question as to where to put new snow. In this situation, blowers might have an advantage.

    I will admit that doing stuff with a four-wheeler is always fun.

    Like

  72. Cheque d'Out says:

    The Grand Tour on Amazon Prime did the top of Scotland yesterday. Very pretty it was too. Don’t have anything on that scale down here in Lorna Doone country (h/t Molly)

    Like

  73. BuenaVista says:

    I’m just saying your four wheeler belongs in the bed of a 3/4 ton beater with rusted out rockers and fenders and a 351. Then you drive to some place fun like the San Juans or Gunnison National Forest and go nuts on two-tracks to 14,000 feet.

    If you don’t want a rusting out truck hulk as a lawn ornament, I recommend a big, heavy Ariens, all-metal, chains on tires, two-stage blower. They don’t break. Job One: Teach son to operate it.

    Liked by 5 people

  74. Farm Boy says:

    The Grand Tour on Amazon Prime did the top of Scotland yesterday

    I will have to watch that. It is so very different up there. And then there are the people with accents difficult to understand.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Cheque d'Out says:

    Took me a while to find a 4×4 to suit my grand social standing

    Bit tight down some of the lanes mind.

    Liked by 4 people

  76. Farm Boy says:

    I’m just saying your four wheeler belongs in the bed of a 3/4 ton beater with rusted out rockers and fenders and a 351. Then you drive to some place fun like the San Juans or Gunnison National Forest and go nuts on two-tracks to 14,000 feet.

    Now your are talking. I have two four-wheelers with trailer.

    Liked by 2 people

  77. Liz says:

    [Harsh this is]

    Too much?
    Women provide a couple of things dogs do not. Take those things away….and (in some cases) all you’ve got is an expensive dog that bites a lot.

    Liked by 3 people

  78. BuenaVista says:

    Liz didn’t buy her Kinco gloves. Tsk tsk.

    Liked by 1 person

  79. Cheque d'Out says:

    They claimed that some magazine or other said that the NC500 was the best drive in the world. Which one might consider to be potentially laying it on a bit thick (polite for exaggerating).

    https://www.northcoast500.com/

    https://www.northcoast500.com/itineraries/

    Very pretty though.

    Liked by 1 person

  80. BuenaVista says:

    Oh, come on, FB. There isn’t a contractor anywhere pushing snow with a four-wheeler. The fancy ones have a Bobcat. The rest are in a ’98 truck.

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Farm Boy says:

    For DIY, four-wheelers are OK. They take some time, but lots of fellas don’t mind, as it is kind of fun.

    Contractors all use trucks of course, usually at least 3/4 ton and hopefully without an extended cab (shorter wheel base, sharper turns). The smarter ones use “non straight blade” plows, as the added flexibility reduces time required. When a big storm hits, Time is money for these fellas.

    Liked by 3 people

  82. Farm Boy says:

    It’s a perfect time to look back and see what we’ve learned from this news cycle.

    The short version? It isn’t pretty. The longer one? It’s a seven-step process.

    ONE: The Media Will Never, Ever Learn

    TWO: Celebrities Won’t Apologize

    THREE: The Roseanne Standard Won’t Apply

    FOUR: Trump Derangement Syndrome Is Very Real

    FIVE: Local Media Often Trumps National Outlets

    SIX: There’s a Reason the Chicago Police Moved So Cautiously

    SEVEN: Here Comes the Spin

    https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/christian-toto/2019/02/23/seven-ugly-lessons-jussie-smollett-debacle

    Liked by 2 people

  83. Liz says:

    Liz didn’t buy her Kinco gloves. Tsk tsk.

    I did! Maybe I didn’t buy the right ones…or maybe I should’ve bought the mittens.
    Even REI mittens leave my hands cold after a bit though.
    Must be my warm heart. 😀

    Liked by 4 people

  84. Cheque d'Out says:

    https://www.northcoast500.com/explore-the-route/

    Sounds like Game of Thrones! Easter Ross and Wester Ross indeed.

    Like

  85. Cheque d'Out says:

    The Remoaniacs keep pushing for a People’s Vote (second referendum intended to reverse the first one). They’ve just released their draft polling card

    Liked by 2 people

  86. Cheque d'Out says:

    Does this sound accurate to anyone else raised on proper Star Trek?

    Liked by 4 people

  87. Farm Boy says:

    [The Chicks like this they do]

    Liked by 3 people

  88. Cill says:

    B V I’ll answer your query asap. I’m out hunkering the stock down in case a forecast cyclone hits me. Probably won’t.

    Like

  89. Farm Boy says:

    Vietnamese authorities are not amused by the antics of two impersonators of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and President Donald Trump.

    The duo has been making rounds of Hanoi, taking pictures with curious onlookers ahead of the second summit of the two leaders next week.

    https://www.stripes.com/news/pacific/kim-trump-impersonators-draw-ire-of-vietnam-s-authorities-1.569983

    Like

  90. Ame says:

    fun hearing weather reports from around the world 🙂

    – – –

    growing up on the beach i practically lived in my bathing suit … didn’t know that wasn’t normal 😉

    – – –

    plan to watch Cill’s NZ video soon!

    – – –

    on winter gloves in freezing places … do they ever layer gloves? hummm . . . idk … don’t even know why i thought of that!

    – – –

    habits are important … begin now creating good habits 🙂 … like reading Spawny’s multiple times a day! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    – – –

    women speaking out of turn in public:
    – BV spot on: no incentives not to
    – we live in a culture with no family support, so if one is alone w/out support, who does one confide in?
    – in Stephanie’s specific setting … she may not know the extent of what she did; she might think that setting was a ‘private’ place where she could share the heavy stuff in her life. living a different example in front of her *could* make a huge impact IF she has a teachable spirit 🙂
    – girls are not raised to protect their families – i wasn’t.

    Like

  91. Farm Boy says:

    Three Swedish feminist organisations, Sweden’s Women’s Lobby, the National Organisation for Women’s Shelters and Young Women’s Shelters (Roks) as well as the empowerment organisation Unizon have published a joint appeal in the newspaper Expressen, in which they demand a state ban on “dangerous” sex robots for men.
    The debaters noted that today’s sex robots often have the “appearances and attributes typical of the objectifying, sexualised and degrading attitude to women found in today’s mainstream pornography”.

    “Why are men willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a robot that obeys their smallest command?” the feminists asked rhetorically. “A female robot cannot say no to something that the man wants, if she is not programmed to do so”, the feminists complained.

    https://sputniknews.com/europe/201902211072612639-sweden-sex-robots-feminism/

    Like

  92. Farm Boy says:

    A Dairy Queen restaurant in Kewaskum Wisconsin, has refused to tender public apologies over a sign inscription posted at its door entrance. This comes after the sign post showing bold inscriptions of various controversial messages to patrons, went viral on social media the previous week.

    Note that this same notice had been hanging on the restaurant’s door post for over four years, with no initial record of dissatisfaction or disgust for the conveyed messages.

    https://www.americanow.com/story/society/2018/10/18/kewaskum-dairy-queen-refuses-apologize-politically-incorrect-sign

    Liked by 1 person

  93. For most of my childhood this was the car my mom drove us around in, my dads car bought a few years before he passed away. The ‘67 is unique in the triangle from wing windows. One of my favorite memories of this car were how they could flip around at almost any angle and direct the airflowjust so. Ahhh memories! ❤️

    [SG – Very Pretty it is too]

    Liked by 3 people

  94. Ame says:

    Cill – you live in a beautiful country! i had to look up part 2 (i hope that’s okay!)

    Like

  95. SFC Ton says:

    A fire bird for Christmas?
    Best get them knees dirty darling

    Liked by 3 people

  96. Cheque d'Out says:

    Could work for Bernie with just a little tinkering

    Like

  97. Cheque d'Out says:

    Not actually the NC500 but the same area

    Like

  98. Cheque d'Out says:


    That must be some kind of antiperspirant

    Liked by 1 person

  99. Cheque d'Out says:

    Retarded laba party retarded talking retarded head has been outed

    Here’s the alpha release of the now laba MP

    Liked by 1 person

  100. Larry G says:

    “Women provide a couple of things dogs do not. Take those things away….and (in some cases) all you’ve got is an expensive dog that bites a lot.”

    aaaand what does one do to a dog that bites anyone/everyone? The mongrel can either be muzzled or shot, take your pick.

    I have a sister in law that has been practicing her bitchiness for 30 years towards her husband, and he still just puts up with her shit. Not my place to tell him how to deal with that shrew (something about monkeys and circus comes to mind) but I sill manage to feel sorry for him once in awhile.

    Even my wife made a couple of comments about him being a wienie, which is really bad, and letting her run over him. Guess once the pattern is established of a woman rebelling, and being allowed to get away with it, it is damn near impossible to squash her rebellion. Seems to apply on collectively and on an individual basis.
    But, not my monkey……

    My spouse knows with crystal clarity what I will accept and what is unacceptable behaviors and attitudes from her. I have made no secret of that, good behavior is rewarded, bad behavior brings discipline and pain.

    Like

  101. Larry G says:

    Now that the men have allowed the females to go feral here in the US of A, probably fuck all can be done to muzzle them, a bit too late for that. Perhaps a “hard reset” is required?

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Larry G says:

    sick of winter…

    Liked by 2 people

  103. Larry G says:

    Wheatridge, CO…

    Like

  104. “That must be some kind of antiperspirant”

    Or lack there of…

    Liked by 2 people

  105. jg1 says:

    Will this make any difference because there too many white knights and mangina’s around not to enforce the selective service for women?

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/02/24/military-draft-judge-rules-male-only-registration-unconstitutional/2968872002/

    Liked by 1 person

  106. Stephanie says:

    @Ame… it was a pretty long 3 minute rant that started off innocently enough (about a messy work gear area) to general complaining about his flaws in that area for that long of a time. It was awkward enough that one of the older women put a stop to it and announced we were “getting into complaining” and brought us back and changed the subject.

    I don’t know. Even in private settings, it’s awkward and feels unfortunate for the husband because he’s not there to defend himself at all. It feels like we’re hearing something we shouldn’t be hearing.

    Liked by 3 people

  107. @jg1

    “The decision deals the biggest legal blow to the Selective Service System since the Supreme Court upheld the draft in 1981. In Rostker v. Goldberg, the court ruled that the male-only draft was “fully justified” because women were ineligible for combat roles.

    Aren’t 80% of military jobs non-combat roles, but somehow the 20% that are combat-focused have kept princess from being drafted?

    Here comes “equality”, bitches, and it’s coming in hot.

    The Supremely Stupid Court. Why the fuck do we care who’s on it? It’s just bullshit.

    Liked by 2 people

  108. I like scenic landscape photos, so I guess that’s why I’m so comfortable around these parts…

    Liked by 1 person

  109. Liz says:

    That must be some kind of antiperspirant

    LOL Probably made in China.

    Like

  110. Liz says:

    Even in private settings, it’s awkward and feels unfortunate for the husband because he’s not there to defend himself at all. It feels like we’re hearing something we shouldn’t be hearing.

    I had an acquaintance (our assignment in Italy) who walked into her husband’s office and chewed him out in front of everyone. Something about the dry cleaning I think. It was really trivial and she did this in front of his subordinates. He just kind of shook his head. I avoided her after that. She was a bully to everyone and pretty obviously bipolar but that was the worst.

    Liked by 2 people

  111. Farm Boy says:

    But, he had decades of experience in the media spotlight in New York City, so developed a skin thick enough to handle the media in Gotham, second only to the national progressive media in viciousness.

    “Sandy O,” as she was known before winning the Democrats’ nomination for Congress in an ultra-low turnout primary election, had no such training, and in addition has up until now enjoyed the sort of privilege that hot young women live with, rarely being held to account for expressing nonsense, at least by the male half of humanity.

    Speaking extemporaneously for almost an hour before a sympathetic group called “Girls Who Code,” about halfway through she unloaded on critics of her Green New Deal. The underlying premise was that we are doomed within 12years, so even if her scheme is impractical, even insane, at least it was something. This gives her the moral high ground and makes her “the boss” somehow.

    I am not kidding.

    https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2019/02/ocasiocortez_temper_tantrum_caught_on_video_i_am_the_boss.html

    Like

  112. Cheque d'Out says:

    One of the MPs that jumped ship recently, Sarah Wollaston, has a teensy bit of a tricky history

    Like

  113. Cheque d'Out says:

    Michael Fabricant is an alien construct with a piss poor syrup from another reality an MP

    Like

  114. mgtowhorseman says:

    Worst day ever in over ten years of running ponies.

    Cold cold rain just over freezing. Paddocks are ice rink after yesterdays thaw then flash freeze. Wind is picking up, about 30 gusting to 50 km now. Actual thunder from front coming in.
    Ponies keep trying to run but slide. Cold, skitish, cant hear over wind.

    Dumped and spread three tractor buckets of sand in one paddock, moved them over now doing the other. Loaded two full rounds in each and took the haynets off. Will give them hot mash a couple of times today instead of just the nightly.

    Winds forecast 80 km steady gusting to 110+ last all night. Temp falling now going to -8. Rain turn to blowing snow.

    Put on my ramp gear and my oilskins over top. Gonna spend most of the day with them just to keep them calm and reassured.

    First person in June complains about the heat gets throat punched.

    Liked by 3 people

  115. Farm Boy says:

    Homelessness is a condition of disengagement from ordinary society—from family, friends, neighborhood, church, and community…. Poor people who have family ties, teenaged mothers who have support systems, mentally ill individuals who are able to maintain social and family relationships, alcoholics who are still connected to their friends and jobs, even drug addicts who manage to remain part of their community do not become homeless. Homelessness occurs when people no longer have relationships; they have drifted into isolation, often running away from the support networks they could count on in the past.

    The best way to prevent homelessness isn’t to build new apartment complexes or pass new tax levies but to rebuild the family, community, and social bonds that once held communities together. As Richard McAdams, a recovered addict and current outreach worker for the Union Gospel Mission, told me: “There are 6,000 people on the streets in Seattle. I know 3,000 of them by name and know their stories. It’s not a resource issue in this city, it’s a relational issue. The biggest problem is broken relationships.”

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/379897.php

    Liked by 1 person

  116. Cheque d'Out says:

    Throat punch is fair. Good luck.

    Like

  117. Cheque d'Out says:

    It seems that some changes are required for legal reasons before uploading the documentary. So here’s a live version that is said to be watchable quality

    Liked by 1 person

  118. Farm Boy says:

    But among the flaws on Sanders’ résumé for many progressives is one that he can do nothing about—he is a white male, and an old one. In the language of the modern left, the straight, cisgendered Sanders is burdened by his utter lack of intersectionality.

    It’s a symptom of the delicacy of the situation that in attempting to talk his way around this gross status offense, he has caused even more offense.

    In his announcement interview on Vermont Public Radio, he was pushed on how he can lead a diverse Democratic Party. Sanders cited the famous Martin Luther King Jr. quote about judging people by the content of their character and replied, “We have got to look at candidates, you know, not by the color of their skin, not by their sexual orientation or their gender and not by their age. I mean, I think we have got to try to move us toward a nondiscriminatory society, which looks at people based on their abilities, based on what they stand for.”

    For expressing this support for a nondiscriminatory society, a sentiment that would have been considered jejune just a few years ago, Sanders was roundly denounced.

    http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0219/lowry022219.php3#31YPLYxGomoR0oZY.99

    Like

  119. Cheque d'Out says:

    Bloody Hollywood. The marketing

    And the reality. Oh yes! That’s the real Calamity

    Liked by 1 person

  120. Sumo says:

    Just because. And also I want to test this link thingy:

    Liked by 2 people

  121. Farm Boy says:

    The trailing dog makes me think of AOC for some reason

    Liked by 2 people

  122. Farm Boy says:

    A report in the Hollywood news outlet Deadline claims that advertisers who have purchased slots during the Academy Awards are so concerned about audience numbers for Sunday night’s broadcast that they’re asking for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, which puts on the show, to issue ratings thresholds guarantees.

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/43874/report-advertising-expecting-so-few-oscar-viewers-emily-zanotti

    Liked by 1 person

  123. SFC Ton says:

    Does Canada have a June?

    Recently learned plastic brass knuckles are legal in Canada I reckon anything is possible no matter how improbable

    Liked by 2 people

  124. Larry G says:

    Spent a relaxing afternoon zeroing in my pistols with the Hornaday Critical Defense ammo. Shit goes “BANG” every time

    Like

  125. SFC Ton says:

    Let’s not loose track of whats important here and that would be the rumor Canada has a June

    Liked by 2 people

  126. Larry G says:

    Canada does not have June. It is only a vicious liberal lie that there is a fantasy June.

    Like

  127. mgtowhorseman says:

    We have June.

    Just it arrives a week before Labour Day and the next winter starts two weeks later.

    Liked by 3 people

  128. Farm Boy says:

    FEMINISM: YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY… AND BACK: Friday’s briefing before the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights on “Women in Prison” was about how “women are different” from men. The message that they should therefore be treated more leniently was sometimes explicit and sometimes merely implicit, but it seemed to always be there. One of the public commentators declared her goal to be the end all imprisonment for women (but apparently not for men). It was a bit like the 19th century.

    https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/322685/

    Like

  129. Ame says:

    looks yummy, Sumo!

    Like

  130. Ame says:

    Horseman … glad those horsies have you to take care of them!

    June … i’ll give you june … july and august, though? 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  131. Ame says:

    if Canada has a June, then Texas has a winter 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  132. Farm Boy says:

    CNN anchor Dave Briggs quickly defended Independent Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders when Venezuelan immigrant Daniel Di Martino claimed that socialist policies in the U.S. would lead us down the same road as Venezuela.

    Di Martino wrote an op-ed in USA Today titled “Venezuela Was My Home, And Socialism Destroyed It. Slowly, It Will Destroy America Too,” and appeared on CNN’s “New Day” Sunday to address the current unrest in his home country.

    He explained that when he was a child, things had been much better — but even by the time he was 11 years old, there were days when the electricity went out and water would be shut off for days or even weeks at a time.

    https://dailycaller.com/2019/02/24/venezuelan-immigrant-socialist-policies-cnn/

    Like

  133. Cill says:

    BV: will not have to learn to shift gears on the wrong side

    Liked by 1 person

  134. SFC Ton says:

    if Canada has a June, then Texas has a winter 😉
    ………
    LOL one of the YouTube guys use I watch does a bunch of low speed motorcycle skillz/ training videos out of Dallas. Can’t take him serious since I watched him talk about how much gear he needed to stay warm in the Texas winter

    Liked by 2 people

  135. I was just kidding about the Firebird. But if I ever did get a vintage car, that would be my pick. Everybody’s got their own idea of, “the best car ever” and I have found it’s always an interesting ice breaker. Vroom!

    Liked by 1 person

  136. Stephanie says:

    “Can’t take him serious since I watched him talk about how much gear he needed to stay warm in the Texas winter”

    LOL this is so true (and sad… we are too used to heat and comfort)!

    Liked by 1 person

  137. Cheque d'Out says:

    A few comments got a bit direct and specific…on the last thread. Could we try giving things a bit more English spin, please?

    I’d like to be outside the pen in the coming party season, knawotImeenlike

    Like

  138. Ame says:

    lol! owww!!!

    Like

  139. SFC Ton says:

    Everybody’s got their own idea of, “the best car ever”
    ……..

    Idea? Nope. Ideas?….. I have enough cars and bikes in storage I had to create a rotation list

    Liked by 1 person

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