We read a lot about how men should help the young drop the scales from their eyes, but I mostly get agreeable but patronizing looks from a 20-something man. I wonder if some personal disaster is required for a young man to start believing a man, instead of a blue pill dad, mother, and every teacher he ever had.
One guy I know is an accomplished junior exec, with a superior personality for a life as a high-functioning corporate guy. He could go all the way. He’s in a ruthless meat processing company, but he just glides.
Mother has been married five times, three times to same guy (not exaggerating); father alienated early, so he didn’t know him until college; one ex-gf I also know; she’s now a sugar baby in the state capital and drowning in her student debt; another ex- was a single mom who tried to pin another guy’s “oops” pregnancy on him.
He listens to me and I try very hard to be low-key, but I just get the smile and quiet nod. So my take is he’s going to get majorly creamed sometime in the next ten years, and then he may decide that mom was giving bad advice.
I have another, a 23 year-old anglo ward who drives a truck for the town, lives with his Mexican gf and their “ooops” infant. She won’t let him have major league baseball on their cable package; he can’t go out and watch football with his dad and friends; her family (they’re on-the-run Mexicans who crossed the local cartel or something) won’t speak with him because he’s socially inferior (!!!!) he and his stepdad bought them a fine house. So I am his confessor or something because he’s a mess. But when I mention something, like saying, “Tell the wife: Sorry, we’re not going to bicker about MLB, I ordered it” or “Boundaries are important in marriage, they establish some rules of the road so we don’t always smash into each other” he looks like I’m poisoning his favorite puppy. 23 and terrified.
And this poor guy will get the pallet of concrete blocks on his head, and he won’t be able to afford his house and child support simultaneously. But I don’t really think I can steer him differently.
Here at Spawny’s Space, many of us are a bit older. Our view of the world in our early 20’s might not match the view of the current youngsters. For many of us, there was still the expectation of lifetime marriage. Obviously, for many of us, this did not happen. But our original expectations are still with us.
For today’s youngsters, perhaps they have no such expectations. They have seen the wild west male-female relationship world, they think that this is the way that it is, and the way that it should be done. Any notions of it being different are stories from some irrelevant previous time.
When stuck in a crazy world, you do what the crazy world tells you to do. Walking away or trying to do something different don’t register. Welcome to the new normal. Discuss.