As my marriage was breaking up, my ex seemingly put herself under lots of pressure to justify herself. I was loyal, dutiful and made good enough money (the prototypical beta of the manosphere), but she wanted out. She had dreams to pursue.
Anyway, her friends and family thought it especially odd that she was destroying a seemingly fine thing. In her own mind, I needed to be the villain. Obviously there were many things going on in her head, but a peculiar manifestation was that would “misremember” an event. As a precise INTJ, I take note of happenings assiduously, so I was always very clear about the histories of events, especially big ones. It so happened that time after time, my recollection and her recollection disagreed. naturally enough, her recollection was always one that made be look bad.
What really blew my mind, was that it sure did seem that she really believed what she was saying. It was all true in her mind. In the real world, things were different. If I pointed out real world facts, I was just more of a villain for arguing. Then there was the giving up it’s pointless to discuss phase, which she would interpret as validation of her perspective.
In short, it would seem that people under pressure, with a world that does not conform to what they think it should be, can actually believe their “misrememberings”. Furthermore, they can be very convincing to others.
Unfortunately, women seem to be especially prone to this. Probably nothing can be done.
Addendum By Deti:
Her feelings are her objective reality. If something doesn’t line up with her feelings, or her feelings about things that happened, it cannot be true. Because feelings don’t lie. And if she feels it was true, it has to be true.
From the link above:
So back to the light-switch effect. When you’ve dated a woman for multiple years, and things start going sour, you experience the revisionist history where she claims to have “never loved you” or that you were “always abusive.” Yes, the always/never statements. And what they reflect isn’t a reality, rather, they reflect her new reality based on her emotions.
The thought process looks much like this: If true love is permanent and real, and I am not feeling true love for this person, but rather disdain and anger, then I must be feeling this way because of who they are. They make me feel bad, so they cannot be good. And since this person makes me feel bad I could not have loved them, because I would never love somebody who makes me feel bad (the qualities he exhibits now must have been inherent qualities he has always had). So I must have never loved them. The entire relationship must have been a lie. Real true love would be permanent, and this is not permanent, so it was never real true love.
And just like that, her emotional state defines a new reality, where nothing was ever good and everything was based on a lie. Like a light-switch goes from on to off, everything that you two had built disappears into the off position, as though it had never existed.
Women do this, blow up relationships and create “alternative facts” about what happened, because they don’t want to deal with objective reality when she’s in the process of blowing it up.
More importantly, she does not want to be judged for blowing it up. Because if the facts show she’s at fault or bears responsibility, then she’s subject to negative judgment. And that means she’s subject to rejection from other men and possibly from other women in the Female Social Matrix. Women can’t handle judgment. At all.
Judgment means rejection. Rejection means ostracism. Ostracism means isolation, and isolation means being removed from the Herd. And being removed from the Herd means being alone, with no access to resources, no validation, affirmation or protection, and no status within the Female Social Matrix. And this is absolute death to a woman. Social ostracism and being stripped of FSM status is death to a woman.