Everybody knows that modern youngsters, especially girls, are raised in a healthy (well, actually unhealthy) bath of self-esteem. Repeatedly in the manosphere, it has been asserted that vast swaths of teen girls suffer from poor self-esteem.
I have always wondered if the bath was just poorly delivered, but now I am conjecturing that it might be something different. Along with boosted self-esteem, we now have open hypergamy being pitched (e.g. Sheryl Sandberg’s alpha fux/beta bux admission). Up to that point, there was lots of nudging in the culture, such that young women told to “find themselves”, “do what feel right”, etc., all open invitations to indulge their hypergamic impulse.
Here is the question: What if the boosted self esteem mixed rather toxically with unleashed hypergamy? More specifically, because the teens really felt they deserved the top guys (self-esteem) and that the number of tingle inducing top guys were limited. Furthermore, hypergamy is such that the top tingle inducing guys are the same for pretty much all women; leading to the fact that lots of women were chasing just the same few fellas.
The big disconnect here is the self esteem says that she deserves the top guy, but maybe she can’t attract the top guy (at least with respect to the LTR that she wants). Ultimately, her self-esteem takes a hit.
What to do?