A few years ago a 30ish woman who had been thrown from the carousel (and who bragged about her carousel riding days to me) lamented to me about “Where have all the good men gone?”
Silly old me thought that she meant where were all the yucky, however employed betas. After some dialogue that misunderstanding was swept away and I understood that she wanted a Mr. Big, nevermind that she was past her prime and the wall had been very unkind to her.
Our dialogue continued and she actually admitted the truth that most men refuse to believe. She said that she would rather be sexually desired than loved. All I could tell her was that she would never marry.
So yes, she want more than love to be sexually desired. It is said that women desire love. Perhaps this is just public relations to reel the fellas in. Perhaps some do desire it. As for the men, at some level they do want to be loved; though many have become jaded and given up on it. As for being desired sexually; sure individual men would like that, but very often they have other fish to fry.
For a women to build her life around being sexually desired is a piss-poor long term strategy. That is why it was not really even on the table in the olden days. This is a luxury that only a wealthy society can afford. For as we all know, women hit the wall soon enough; and what then?
How could such a silly approach even come into being? Here is a scenario. Her mother was a single Mom who went from guy to guy, extracting sex and what ever resources she might be able to gather. The daughter sees that the life of a woman is to play the men as best she can with her sexuality. Might there be an alternative? Who knows? The daughter only knows what she sees.
Then the daughter becomes a teen. She now experiences what her Mom experienced. Fellas draped all over her because she is awesome. It must surely be a heady experience. One that a person could readily desire forever. With no real possible alternatives presenting themselves, why not exploit what you presently see, feel and experience?
So it probably is easy to fall into such a trap. Is there any way out? If so, do tell.