An older male relative of mine used to talk about his wife. He described how she was always complaining about stuff, that everything was not good enough, that things should be better, blah-blah. To my young blue pill self, this seemed to be ludicrous, as the wife seemed to be very far away from being such a person that would do that. Then I got married. My wife seemed very pleasant on the outside, especially to others. But she was never really satisfied with much of anything. So I learned the lesson that he was trying to teach the hard way.
In reality, the wife was offered the SAHM job, but refused. There was no need for her to work, as I owned a house and had a fine enough income. But she insisted on working. But only with what she viewed as her dream job. She really did not make much money doing it, but the stress that her job put her under was large, and it spilled out everywhere. As it turned out, her dream job was less than perfect, I was less than perfect, everything else was less than perfect. Then we divorced.
Often, the last amount of resources required to get to perfection is very large, and perfection is usually not required anyway. Grousing over that last 10%, making yourself and everybody around you miserable is counterproductive, and is no way to go through life.
For some reason, this affliction seems to mostly affect women. Furthermore, they work hard to make it never visible to the public. I wonder why that is. But more importantly, what is the cure?
Remove the resources.
Let her fend for herself wothout support in a cold uncaring world.
By 50 or so the security of long abandoned SAHM job will look in hindsight as perfection.
At which point you will laugh and laugh and laugh.
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a long-time friend messaged me the other day and asked if i was having a good day. i replied, ‘no,’ cause i wasn’t. it’s rare i would say that, so he was a bit concerned and asked why. i gave a list of all the things going on, and he replied, “Oh, you’re overwhelmed!” i was a bit miffed b/c i wanted him to come back and let me have a pity party 🙂 … rather, he called it and moved on. it took a few days, or so, but i finally agreed he was right. i was overwhelmed and not handling it well.
women do not process things like men. we get them all mixed up and tangled up like a kitten with a ball of yarn. on top of that we’ve been taught the lies that men can’t be trusted or depended upon so we have to figure it all out ourselves.
girls are taught the lie they can do anything they put their mind to. we’re taught to only do what makes us happy but not that happiness is a fleeting and volatile master.
when we’re taught and live the truth, life is so much better.
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Farm Boy’s story mirrors mine in many ways.
How did your ex fare afterwards? Sounds like you don’t have the child like I do, so I unfortunately can’t be rid of the ex.
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Another victory for the FI
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Farm Boy,
Every time I hear about your marriage, I get angry at the waste. She threw away a perfectly good husband. As for her getting that last ten percent, it sounds a lot like the glass is half empty. I don’t know what it takes to make her see the glass is half full. It does look as if she found her own solution. Now, she has only herself to blame.
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FuzzieBear,
I have not seen my ex for 15 years. I don’t know what she is doing. I don’t really care.
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Farm Boy,
I am sorry if I caused you distress. You did broach the topic. There is a general point to be made here. I think every man here has had to contend with women having an attitude that their men are as replaceable as Kleenex, when there are as many men as there are women. In theory, women should only get to burn through the good will of one man and that should be their limit. This is something that we have all be exposed to directly.
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It is no problem FuzzieBear. That is all in the past. You move on. If I let it drag me down, then I don’t belong here.
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Y’all might want to look at the revamped Cadder’s World
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/09/05/cadders-world/
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Farm Boy,
There is stuff in my past that still hurts me. I think it may be part of the human condition.
I have to wonder where we would be if women were encouraged to nurture relationships instead of kill them by a thousand cuts. That was my experience.
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FIRE did a survey and rated colleges for their adherence to due process. It might be a good idea to send a male student overseas. Three out of four presumed students as guilty.
http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/36354/
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“In theory, women should only get to burn through the good will of one man and that should be their limit.”
no … ‘in theory’ … women shouldn’t get to burn through any man, ever.
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Ame,
I had thought I was taking a controversial position. I think that people should treasure their significant others. It is just that it is not happening in the real world. For that alone, I can see the reason that a lot of men choose to give up.
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Farmboy
Wow. We (collectively) should write a book!!!
Then again who would read it?
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Horseman … I got lots of things to add to that book …
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do y’all know anything about The Epoch Times news?
http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/about-us/
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Ame,
This is the first that I have heard of them. They are multilingual in the extreme.
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The bear aint wrong, pain is part of the human condition but Farm Boy ain’t wrong either
Can’t let this shit drag you down. If you don’t move on, your life is miserable and the other side wins
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FarmBoy. Twenty years for me come mid January. And you’re right. She ceased to be relevant to me then because we had no kids. Book closed.
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Druncker rants about David Davis’ stability…The pottiest of pots calls a true Brit a kettle? Too fucking rich
http://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/851072/Brexit-news-EU-chief-Jean-Claude-Juncker-David-Davis
LMAO
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The EU blustering? What is new?
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The EU via its behavior continually proves the correctness of the Brexit decision
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Farmboy, doesn’t it just
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A black family in South Carolina is suing their daughter’s school for failing to protect her from racially motivated abuse at the hands of other students. However, both the abusers and the victim are the same race.
The high-achieving girl is black, and she is being abused by other black students because her success is apparently too “white.”
https://pjmedia.com/trending/2017/09/06/black-parents-sue-school-claim-bullies-abuse-daughter-acting-white/
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It’s crazy to me she was never happy FarmBoy… life is never going to be “perfect,” you’d think adults kind of know that by the time they’re at least 18, but hopefully sooner. Parents do a good job when they teach their kids how to be happy even when things aren’t going well.
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My husband got injured (tore something in his knee) a couple of days ago chasing someone… he still caught them though 😉 The officers behind him saw it all happen and the female officer told him he looked like “Spiderman” with how fast he still scaled up a wall! This was done with a torn ligament or two (we’ll find out after the MRI results come back.
So proud of my man! But yea, employing some massive “girl game” in taking care of him and helping him get better… dr. said he’ll be out for a month. No more chasing bad guys right now. I love getting to take care of him, even if it’s hard to see him limping.
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How did your ex fare afterwards?
Dunno. She did what she did and had to live with it. Though I am sure that I am still to blame in her mind for everything
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The very best reason to not know is that it includes not knowing what lies she’s been spreading. Or in my case, continued to spread. I don’t like lies and liars, so I choose not to associate with them.
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Got this comment earlier on a post I wrote 3 years ago 😦 This is one of the most popular searched out post from google on my blog because I think so many men are affected by this feminized culture.
My husband responded to him this morning (it’s nice he has more time!) but this is what this young guy said:
“Hi. I’m a man in my mid 20s and I can safely say that my mother did everything in her power to prevent me from becoming a man. Whether she was conscious of this is largely irrelevant; the damage has still be done. I am left to pick up the pieces and try to reinstate order in a life that was bereft of a solid male presence. In my generation there are many damaged males like this. Please for the love of God, never lose sight of the fact that your son is different from you, and will grow to become a different kind of human being. There is tremendous pain in males who are wounded by their mothers in this fundamental way.”
https://girlwithadragonflytattoo.com/2014/04/10/when-mothers-emasculate-their-sons/comment-page-1/#comment-6431
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Unsurprisingly, LGBTQ Editor for Think Progress Zach Ford had a serious problem with all this free expression.
Perfectly illustrating Mandel’s point about the bully tactics of the Left, Ford went after Mandel on Twitter, complaining that the conservative even had the nerve to think such “odious” things as the biological reality that men are men and women and women.
In fact, Ford thinks such thought dissent shouldn’t even be allowed.
http://www.dailywire.com/news/20720/leftist-editor-you-shouldnt-be-allowed-even-think-amanda-prestigiacomo
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Why is it we always hear about how sensitive and “empathetic” women are when it comes to relationships? It seems that women’s ability to understand what men’s emotions are is fair at best and often poor.
https://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2017/09/06/newsflash-less-yelling-means-sex/
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With apologies to Farm Boy, this is not personal, but general. It seems to me that a lot of women are finding men to marry that they aren’t all that happy with and aren’t that committed to. The men aren’t in a position to figure this out until they are locked in. It really is a form of fraud and when it gets to divorce, it is really expensive. I have my sincere doubts about the Red Pill and Game being a defense.
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To pick up where I left off with my last comment, it would seem that there is little to gain in fixing men. The problem lies with women. Dalrock has a great video link. There are consequences for women.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/09/07/why-women-lose-the-dating-game/
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For our Glorious Patriarch, Ezra Levant tears into the BBC.
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Congress can’t get shit done…. unless that shit to be done is the opening gambit on destroying jobs
http://www.vdare.com/posts/despite-busy-calendar-house-passes-self-driving-industry-car-bill-for-donors
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Here is Betsy DeVos’ full speech on Title IX. I am not very hopeful. I think that college men should file a complaint at every opportunity and sue the colleges with maximum vigor.
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Men, young adults and rural residents increasingly say college isn’t worth the cost
https://www.wsj.com/articles/americans-losing-faith-in-college-degrees-poll-finds-1504776601
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http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/politics/ontario-to-create-cannabis-control-board-1.4280073
Ahahahaha.
60 stores for all of Ontario? Most populated province.
Hell there are 8 beer stores in my rural county alone.
There are likely 60 local dealers in my small city of 50,000.
Do they have any idea of market share?? Its not like this is a new product.
And shut down illegal selling? Like the cops and crowns are going to waste resources once posession is legal.
Leave Wynne to do math.
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Completely off topic. A credit reporting firm, has been hacked and information on 143 million people has been compromised.
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/07/credit-reporting-firm-equifax-says-cybersecurity-incident-could-potentially-affect-143-million-us-consumers.html
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Yoda,
The Wall Street Journal is behind a paywall. They are a good source, though. Thanks for trying.
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Ms Valdivia said she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and doubted her ability to deliver the lecture in the face of their opposition. At first, demonstrators announced they would change tactics and sit quietly in the audience, wearing black. After her speech, a number of them berated her, bringing her to tears.
Demonstrators said Ms Valdivia was guilty of a variety of offences: she was a “race traitor” who upheld white supremacist principles by failing to oppose the Humanities syllabus. She was “anti-black” because she appropriated black slang by wearing a T-shirt that said, “Poetry is Lit”. She was an “ableist” because she believes trigger warnings sometimes diminish sexual trauma. She was also called a “gaslighter” for making disadvantaged students doubt their own feelings of oppression. “I am intimidated by these students,” she later wrote in a blog post. “I am scared to teach courses on race, gender or sexuality or even texts that bring these issues up in any way…I’m at a loss as to how to begin to address it, especially since many of these students don’t believe in historicity or objective facts (they denounce the latter as being a tool of the white cisheteropatriarchy).”
https://hotair.com/archives/2017/09/07/reed-college-left-clashes-free-speech/
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When a wee lad I was,
Saw tobacco grow in Horseman’s shire I did
Wonder if switch to pot they will
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An anthropology professor at a community college in California has instructed her students that stereotyping someone in class is a punishable offense — on the same day that she handed out a four-page white privilege checklist listing common generalizations about white people.
https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/36393/
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We love Deti.
Over at Dalrocks
thedeti says:
September 7, 2017 at 2:29 pm
It is unprecedented in modern times that there are so many single, unattached, mostly divorced, women between ages 35 and 55. All of them vying for the attention of a small number of attractive single men, most of whom are attractive burned-once-never-again divorced men and a small number of whom are very attractive never married confirmed bachelors. And most of these women fail, over and over again, to get what they want.
It’s literally driving women crazy. It’s something we have not seen in our lifetimes. And it’s still shaking out. Some of these women are getting remarried, I’m sure of that. Some are getting into more or less stable LTRs. But a big number aren’t going to get remarried at all.
As a society, we’re not ready for the health care costs of millions of over-70 women with no husbands, no husband survivor benefits, small ex husband pension shares, and no to virtually no family structure for support, oversight, or to handle end of life issues for these mostly career cat ladies now starting to age out of the SMP”
A spinster 55-65, too young for long term care, too old to do maintenance on the house she got in the divorce at 45, cant afford groundsman cause she burned thru the winnings, and the single mom raised kids are ungrateful bastards who never visit. A coming shutin demographic.
Look at all the lil ole men at the mall or the doctor or the grocers helping the wife of thirty years. Sweet aint it. Now imagine them laughing at the same women cause the womenz frivorced them decades ago. Its coming!!!
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Horseman,
Popp had a video on this same subject. It still hasn’t hit the mainstream yet.
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When it does hit, I don’t think they will be blamed for frivorcing their husbands. It just won’t come up. As for the kids, they will be blamed.
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Just give all the old folks doobies one could.
Make them all mellow it would
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A weird thought I did have
What if during the during the time u-boats sinking ships they were,
All of U.K. decide to take up pot they did.
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The Daily Caller has feminist reaction to Betsy DeVos’ speech. They are not happy.
http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/07/feminists-go-nuts-after-betsy-devos-makes-statement-on-sexual-assault-guidance/
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Yoda,
They would be too sleepy to make soup or sandwiches. Yet, they would want to eat them.
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Donald Trump has enemies and they are implacable. They also like the kangaroo courts on campus and believe the one in four myth.
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/349647-devos-to-change-obama-era-campus-sexual-assault-policy
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I hope I never act like that to my guy! I see many women taking good guys for granted of tossing them out and it amazes me, their stupidity.
Today I had a RP moment, was talking to the teen daughter of a gal who has long toyed w frivorce who I work w and counsel not to. I was telling the daughter, “if I could tell you nothing else it’s this, pick a good man and be good to him and you will be happy. Pick a bad man and you will not.” She said, “oh a bad man like dad?” I corrected her, “no, your dad is a good man. He works hard every day to provide this beautiful home and all you and your mom have, want, and need. I meant a bad man like a hot guy who doesn’t want to work, provide, or protect.” The girl got it but I think her mom was a bit uncomfortable! Oh we’ll!had to seize the teachable moment! Lol.
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Bloom,
It is not good for women to burn through guys. In the end, it turns them cynical. Maybe, you got though to her. Good that you spoke up for her Dad.
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Bloom – that’s what we have to do … one moment, one person, at a time … tell the truth 🙂
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Best of luck to those with incoming weather. I always find that a little humour helps
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The best quality weed is grown indoors by guys with Phd’s so I doubt well see much of it planted outdoors when full legalization hits
Plus indoors improves security
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Well, I didn’t write it
One for Choicy
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Choicy unleash one of his colorful descriptors on that he should
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Protesters heckled and whistled at German Chancellor Angela Merkel as she has campaigned in the eastern German regions of Brandenburg and Saxony this week.
http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/09/08/merkel-protesters-jeer-campaign-trail-eastern-germany/
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Despite (because of?) ongoing hectoring and bullshit over BREXIT
FU
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Oh I do like this one from Pokesalad on Dalrock
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/09/07/why-women-lose-the-dating-game/#comment-244610
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Oh yeah, baby
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When a people in the west have stood so resolutely against the fury and threats of their political rulers
When rulers from a nearby continent they are,
Happens this does
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I think all women want companionship…some choose a man, some choose cats.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/09/07/why-women-lose-the-dating-game/#comment-244720
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/09/08/juncker-unstable-british-meps-hit-back-eu-chief-personal-attack/
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“Progressives think that America is the worst nation in the world, full of violence, racism, sexism, homophobia and Islamophobia and ruled by Literally Hitler in an orange fright wig. So why don’t they post warning signs on the border of this evil country and try to keep people out instead of inviting them all in?”
http://ace.mu.nu/archives/371480.php
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Looks like I’m going to have to learn how to mow the grass…. and do other husband-y things LOL.
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Goats and sheep mow grass they do
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Sadly sheep also eat bushes though. No direct expertise with goats but I hear they’re even worse for it.
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Molly likes the idea of using sheep to mow grass. Lawnmowers are loud.
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Sovereign Man on the Equifax hack,
https://www.sovereignman.com/personal-resilience/with-scumbags-like-this-its-easy-to-understand-why-bitcoin-is-at-4600-22377/
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Laura Wood on the the Vogue editor that called Melania on her shoes. Warning: have eye wash ready.
http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2017/09/an-arbiter-of-bad-taste/
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Regarding the link about the fashion editor….
The term catholic ideals always cracks me up. The catholic vote is a major reason we gave all this dysfunction so I can’t see how it’s an “ideal” at all
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Why she won not by 50 points I know not
Democratic operatives can’t stand the thought of her picking the scabs of 2016, again — the Bernie Sanders divide, the Jim Comey complaints, the casting blame on Barack Obama for not speaking out more on Russia. Alums of her Brooklyn headquarters who were miserable even when they thought she was winning tend to greet the topic with, “Oh, God,” “I can’t handle it,” and “the final torture.” …
But with a new NBC News poll showing her approval rating at 30 percent, the lowest recorded for her, Clinton kicks it off on Tuesday with a signing at the Union Square Barnes & Noble in New York. She’ll keep it going all the way through December, all across the country.
“Maybe at the worst possible time, as we are fighting some of the most high-stakes policy and institutional battles we may ever see, at a time when we’re trying to bring the party together so we can all move the party forward — stronger, stronger together,” said Rep. Jared Huffman, a Democrat who represents a Northern California district. “She’s got every right to tell her story. Who am I to say she shouldn’t, or how she should tell it? But it is difficult for some of us, even like myself who’ve supported her, to play out all these media cycles about the blame game, and the excuses.” …
“There is a collective groan,” he said, “whenever there’s another news cycle about this.”
https://hotair.com/archives/2017/09/08/bernie-come-anyone-really-believe-hillarys-whining/
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Yoda,
The best of all possible outcomes for Hillary is to retire in obscurity. That she doesn’t choose this speaks for her lack of wisdom.
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As voter fraud goes, this is so blatant. I guess they thought that if Hillary won, they would not be prosecuted and, if Donald Trump won, there would be no need.
http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2017/09/add-one-more-state-to-trumps-electoral.html
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There is a new post
https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/09/09/back-in-high-school/
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Molly, hope this helps.
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