Perfection Is The Enemy Of The Good


An older male relative of mine used to talk about his wife.  He described how she was always complaining about stuff, that everything was not good enough, that things should be better, blah-blah.  To my young blue pill self, this seemed to be ludicrous, as the wife seemed to be very far away from being such a person that would do that.  Then I got married.  My wife seemed very pleasant on the outside, especially to others.  But she was never really satisfied with much of anything.  So I learned the lesson that he was trying to teach the hard way.

In reality, the wife was offered the SAHM job, but refused.  There was no need for her to work, as I owned a house and had a fine enough income.  But she insisted on working.  But only with what she viewed as her dream job.  She really did not make much money doing it, but the stress that her job put her under was large, and it spilled out everywhere.  As it turned out, her dream job was less than perfect, I was less than perfect, everything else was less than perfect.  Then we divorced.

Often, the last amount of resources required to get to perfection is very large, and perfection is usually not required anyway.   Grousing over that last 10%, making yourself and everybody around you miserable is counterproductive, and is no way to go through life.

For some reason, this affliction seems to mostly affect women.  Furthermore, they work hard to make it never visible to the public.  I wonder why that is.  But more importantly, what is the cure?

Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, HowTo, Marriage, Trainwreck
80 comments on “Perfection Is The Enemy Of The Good
  1. Remove the resources.
    Let her fend for herself wothout support in a cold uncaring world.
    By 50 or so the security of long abandoned SAHM job will look in hindsight as perfection.

    At which point you will laugh and laugh and laugh.

    Like

  2. Ame says:

    a long-time friend messaged me the other day and asked if i was having a good day. i replied, ‘no,’ cause i wasn’t. it’s rare i would say that, so he was a bit concerned and asked why. i gave a list of all the things going on, and he replied, “Oh, you’re overwhelmed!” i was a bit miffed b/c i wanted him to come back and let me have a pity party 🙂 … rather, he called it and moved on. it took a few days, or so, but i finally agreed he was right. i was overwhelmed and not handling it well.

    women do not process things like men. we get them all mixed up and tangled up like a kitten with a ball of yarn. on top of that we’ve been taught the lies that men can’t be trusted or depended upon so we have to figure it all out ourselves.

    girls are taught the lie they can do anything they put their mind to. we’re taught to only do what makes us happy but not that happiness is a fleeting and volatile master.

    when we’re taught and live the truth, life is so much better.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. A Dad says:

    Farm Boy’s story mirrors mine in many ways.

    How did your ex fare afterwards? Sounds like you don’t have the child like I do, so I unfortunately can’t be rid of the ex.

    Like

  4. SFC Ton says:

    Another victory for the FI

    Liked by 1 person

  5. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Every time I hear about your marriage, I get angry at the waste. She threw away a perfectly good husband. As for her getting that last ten percent, it sounds a lot like the glass is half empty. I don’t know what it takes to make her see the glass is half full. It does look as if she found her own solution. Now, she has only herself to blame.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Farm Boy says:

    FuzzieBear,

    I have not seen my ex for 15 years. I don’t know what she is doing. I don’t really care.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I am sorry if I caused you distress. You did broach the topic. There is a general point to be made here. I think every man here has had to contend with women having an attitude that their men are as replaceable as Kleenex, when there are as many men as there are women. In theory, women should only get to burn through the good will of one man and that should be their limit. This is something that we have all be exposed to directly.

    Like

  8. Farm Boy says:

    It is no problem FuzzieBear. That is all in the past. You move on. If I let it drag me down, then I don’t belong here.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Farm Boy says:

    Y’all might want to look at the revamped Cadder’s World

    https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2017/09/05/cadders-world/

    Liked by 2 people

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    There is stuff in my past that still hurts me. I think it may be part of the human condition.
    I have to wonder where we would be if women were encouraged to nurture relationships instead of kill them by a thousand cuts. That was my experience.

    Like

  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    FIRE did a survey and rated colleges for their adherence to due process. It might be a good idea to send a male student overseas. Three out of four presumed students as guilty.
    http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/36354/

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Ame says:

    “In theory, women should only get to burn through the good will of one man and that should be their limit.”

    no … ‘in theory’ … women shouldn’t get to burn through any man, ever.

    Liked by 5 people

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Ame,
    I had thought I was taking a controversial position. I think that people should treasure their significant others. It is just that it is not happening in the real world. For that alone, I can see the reason that a lot of men choose to give up.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Farmboy

    Wow. We (collectively) should write a book!!!

    Then again who would read it?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. BackInTheSaddle says:

    Horseman … I got lots of things to add to that book …

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Ame says:

    do y’all know anything about The Epoch Times news?

    http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/about-us/

    Liked by 1 person

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Ame,
    This is the first that I have heard of them. They are multilingual in the extreme.

    Like

  18. SFC Ton says:

    The bear aint wrong, pain is part of the human condition but Farm Boy ain’t wrong either

    Can’t let this shit drag you down. If you don’t move on, your life is miserable and the other side wins

    Liked by 3 people

  19. Spawny Get says:

    FarmBoy. Twenty years for me come mid January. And you’re right. She ceased to be relevant to me then because we had no kids. Book closed.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Spawny Get says:

    Druncker rants about David Davis’ stability…The pottiest of pots calls a true Brit a kettle? Too fucking rich
    http://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/851072/Brexit-news-EU-chief-Jean-Claude-Juncker-David-Davis
    LMAO

    Like

  21. Farm Boy says:

    The EU blustering? What is new?

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Farm Boy says:

    The EU via its behavior continually proves the correctness of the Brexit decision

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Spawny Get says:

    Farmboy, doesn’t it just

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Farm Boy says:

    A black family in South Carolina is suing their daughter’s school for failing to protect her from racially motivated abuse at the hands of other students. However, both the abusers and the victim are the same race.

    The high-achieving girl is black, and she is being abused by other black students because her success is apparently too “white.”

    https://pjmedia.com/trending/2017/09/06/black-parents-sue-school-claim-bullies-abuse-daughter-acting-white/

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Stephanie says:

    It’s crazy to me she was never happy FarmBoy… life is never going to be “perfect,” you’d think adults kind of know that by the time they’re at least 18, but hopefully sooner. Parents do a good job when they teach their kids how to be happy even when things aren’t going well.

    Like

  26. Stephanie says:

    My husband got injured (tore something in his knee) a couple of days ago chasing someone… he still caught them though 😉 The officers behind him saw it all happen and the female officer told him he looked like “Spiderman” with how fast he still scaled up a wall! This was done with a torn ligament or two (we’ll find out after the MRI results come back.

    So proud of my man! But yea, employing some massive “girl game” in taking care of him and helping him get better… dr. said he’ll be out for a month. No more chasing bad guys right now. I love getting to take care of him, even if it’s hard to see him limping.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Farm Boy says:

    How did your ex fare afterwards?

    Dunno. She did what she did and had to live with it. Though I am sure that I am still to blame in her mind for everything

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Spawny Get says:

    The very best reason to not know is that it includes not knowing what lies she’s been spreading. Or in my case, continued to spread. I don’t like lies and liars, so I choose not to associate with them.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Stephanie says:

    Got this comment earlier on a post I wrote 3 years ago 😦 This is one of the most popular searched out post from google on my blog because I think so many men are affected by this feminized culture.

    My husband responded to him this morning (it’s nice he has more time!) but this is what this young guy said:

    “Hi. I’m a man in my mid 20s and I can safely say that my mother did everything in her power to prevent me from becoming a man. Whether she was conscious of this is largely irrelevant; the damage has still be done. I am left to pick up the pieces and try to reinstate order in a life that was bereft of a solid male presence. In my generation there are many damaged males like this. Please for the love of God, never lose sight of the fact that your son is different from you, and will grow to become a different kind of human being. There is tremendous pain in males who are wounded by their mothers in this fundamental way.”

    https://girlwithadragonflytattoo.com/2014/04/10/when-mothers-emasculate-their-sons/comment-page-1/#comment-6431

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Farm Boy says:

    Unsurprisingly, LGBTQ Editor for Think Progress Zach Ford had a serious problem with all this free expression.

    Perfectly illustrating Mandel’s point about the bully tactics of the Left, Ford went after Mandel on Twitter, complaining that the conservative even had the nerve to think such “odious” things as the biological reality that men are men and women and women.

    In fact, Ford thinks such thought dissent shouldn’t even be allowed.

    http://www.dailywire.com/news/20720/leftist-editor-you-shouldnt-be-allowed-even-think-amanda-prestigiacomo

    Like

  31. Farm Boy says:

    Why is it we always hear about how sensitive and “empathetic” women are when it comes to relationships? It seems that women’s ability to understand what men’s emotions are is fair at best and often poor.

    https://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2017/09/06/newsflash-less-yelling-means-sex/

    Liked by 2 people

  32. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    With apologies to Farm Boy, this is not personal, but general. It seems to me that a lot of women are finding men to marry that they aren’t all that happy with and aren’t that committed to. The men aren’t in a position to figure this out until they are locked in. It really is a form of fraud and when it gets to divorce, it is really expensive. I have my sincere doubts about the Red Pill and Game being a defense.

    Like

  33. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    To pick up where I left off with my last comment, it would seem that there is little to gain in fixing men. The problem lies with women. Dalrock has a great video link. There are consequences for women.
    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/09/07/why-women-lose-the-dating-game/

    Like

  34. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    For our Glorious Patriarch, Ezra Levant tears into the BBC.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. SFC Ton says:

    Congress can’t get shit done…. unless that shit to be done is the opening gambit on destroying jobs

    http://www.vdare.com/posts/despite-busy-calendar-house-passes-self-driving-industry-car-bill-for-donors

    Liked by 1 person

  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Here is Betsy DeVos’ full speech on Title IX. I am not very hopeful. I think that college men should file a complaint at every opportunity and sue the colleges with maximum vigor.

    Like

  37. Yoda says:

    Men, young adults and rural residents increasingly say college isn’t worth the cost

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/americans-losing-faith-in-college-degrees-poll-finds-1504776601

    Liked by 1 person

  38. http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/politics/ontario-to-create-cannabis-control-board-1.4280073

    Ahahahaha.

    60 stores for all of Ontario? Most populated province.
    Hell there are 8 beer stores in my rural county alone.

    There are likely 60 local dealers in my small city of 50,000.

    Do they have any idea of market share?? Its not like this is a new product.
    And shut down illegal selling? Like the cops and crowns are going to waste resources once posession is legal.

    Leave Wynne to do math.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Completely off topic. A credit reporting firm, has been hacked and information on 143 million people has been compromised.
    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/07/credit-reporting-firm-equifax-says-cybersecurity-incident-could-potentially-affect-143-million-us-consumers.html

    Like

  40. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    The Wall Street Journal is behind a paywall. They are a good source, though. Thanks for trying.

    Like

  41. Yoda says:

    Ms Valdivia said she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and doubted her ability to deliver the lecture in the face of their opposition. At first, demonstrators announced they would change tactics and sit quietly in the audience, wearing black. After her speech, a number of them berated her, bringing her to tears.

    Demonstrators said Ms Valdivia was guilty of a variety of offences: she was a “race traitor” who upheld white supremacist principles by failing to oppose the Humanities syllabus. She was “anti-black” because she appropriated black slang by wearing a T-shirt that said, “Poetry is Lit”. She was an “ableist” because she believes trigger warnings sometimes diminish sexual trauma. She was also called a “gaslighter” for making disadvantaged students doubt their own feelings of oppression. “I am intimidated by these students,” she later wrote in a blog post. “I am scared to teach courses on race, gender or sexuality or even texts that bring these issues up in any way…I’m at a loss as to how to begin to address it, especially since many of these students don’t believe in historicity or objective facts (they denounce the latter as being a tool of the white cisheteropatriarchy).”

    https://hotair.com/archives/2017/09/07/reed-college-left-clashes-free-speech/

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Yoda says:

    When a wee lad I was,
    Saw tobacco grow in Horseman’s shire I did
    Wonder if switch to pot they will

    Like

  43. Yoda says:

    An anthropology professor at a community college in California has instructed her students that stereotyping someone in class is a punishable offense — on the same day that she handed out a four-page white privilege checklist listing common generalizations about white people.

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/36393/

    Liked by 2 people

  44. We love Deti.

    Over at Dalrocks

    thedeti says:
    September 7, 2017 at 2:29 pm
    It is unprecedented in modern times that there are so many single, unattached, mostly divorced, women between ages 35 and 55. All of them vying for the attention of a small number of attractive single men, most of whom are attractive burned-once-never-again divorced men and a small number of whom are very attractive never married confirmed bachelors. And most of these women fail, over and over again, to get what they want.

    It’s literally driving women crazy. It’s something we have not seen in our lifetimes. And it’s still shaking out. Some of these women are getting remarried, I’m sure of that. Some are getting into more or less stable LTRs. But a big number aren’t going to get remarried at all.

    As a society, we’re not ready for the health care costs of millions of over-70 women with no husbands, no husband survivor benefits, small ex husband pension shares, and no to virtually no family structure for support, oversight, or to handle end of life issues for these mostly career cat ladies now starting to age out of the SMP”

    A spinster 55-65, too young for long term care, too old to do maintenance on the house she got in the divorce at 45, cant afford groundsman cause she burned thru the winnings, and the single mom raised kids are ungrateful bastards who never visit. A coming shutin demographic.

    Look at all the lil ole men at the mall or the doctor or the grocers helping the wife of thirty years. Sweet aint it. Now imagine them laughing at the same women cause the womenz frivorced them decades ago. Its coming!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  45. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Horseman,
    Popp had a video on this same subject. It still hasn’t hit the mainstream yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    When it does hit, I don’t think they will be blamed for frivorcing their husbands. It just won’t come up. As for the kids, they will be blamed.

    Like

  47. Yoda says:

    Just give all the old folks doobies one could.
    Make them all mellow it would

    Like

  48. Yoda says:

    A weird thought I did have
    What if during the during the time u-boats sinking ships they were,
    All of U.K. decide to take up pot they did.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The Daily Caller has feminist reaction to Betsy DeVos’ speech. They are not happy.
    http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/07/feminists-go-nuts-after-betsy-devos-makes-statement-on-sexual-assault-guidance/

    Like

  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    They would be too sleepy to make soup or sandwiches. Yet, they would want to eat them.

    Like

  51. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Donald Trump has enemies and they are implacable. They also like the kangaroo courts on campus and believe the one in four myth.
    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/349647-devos-to-change-obama-era-campus-sexual-assault-policy

    Liked by 1 person

  52. I hope I never act like that to my guy! I see many women taking good guys for granted of tossing them out and it amazes me, their stupidity.

    Today I had a RP moment, was talking to the teen daughter of a gal who has long toyed w frivorce who I work w and counsel not to. I was telling the daughter, “if I could tell you nothing else it’s this, pick a good man and be good to him and you will be happy. Pick a bad man and you will not.” She said, “oh a bad man like dad?” I corrected her, “no, your dad is a good man. He works hard every day to provide this beautiful home and all you and your mom have, want, and need. I meant a bad man like a hot guy who doesn’t want to work, provide, or protect.” The girl got it but I think her mom was a bit uncomfortable! Oh we’ll!had to seize the teachable moment! Lol.

    Liked by 5 people

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    It is not good for women to burn through guys. In the end, it turns them cynical. Maybe, you got though to her. Good that you spoke up for her Dad.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Ame says:

    Bloom – that’s what we have to do … one moment, one person, at a time … tell the truth 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Spawny Get says:

    Best of luck to those with incoming weather. I always find that a little humour helps

    Liked by 3 people

  56. SFC Ton says:

    The best quality weed is grown indoors by guys with Phd’s so I doubt well see much of it planted outdoors when full legalization hits

    Plus indoors improves security

    Like

  57. Spawny Get says:

    Well, I didn’t write it

    One for Choicy

    Liked by 2 people

  58. Yoda says:

    Choicy unleash one of his colorful descriptors on that he should

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Yoda says:

    Protesters heckled and whistled at German Chancellor Angela Merkel as she has campaigned in the eastern German regions of Brandenburg and Saxony this week.

    http://www.breitbart.com/london/2017/09/08/merkel-protesters-jeer-campaign-trail-eastern-germany/

    Liked by 2 people

  60. Spawny Get says:

    Despite (because of?) ongoing hectoring and bullshit over BREXIT

    FU

    Liked by 2 people

  61. Spawny Get says:

    Oh I do like this one from Pokesalad on Dalrock

    Feminism is about training women to be as disposable as men.

    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/09/07/why-women-lose-the-dating-game/#comment-244610

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Spawny Get says:

    Oh yeah, baby

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Yoda says:

    When a people in the west have stood so resolutely against the fury and threats of their political rulers

    When rulers from a nearby continent they are,
    Happens this does

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Yoda says:

    I think all women want companionship…some choose a man, some choose cats.

    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/09/07/why-women-lose-the-dating-game/#comment-244720

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Spawny Get says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/09/08/juncker-unstable-british-meps-hit-back-eu-chief-personal-attack/

    ‘It’s Jean-Claude Juncker who is unstable’ – British MEPs hit back at EU chief after personal attack on David Davis’

    …..”He also came under fire from a Polish MP in March, when he took a nap in the Vatican during celebrations of the EU’s 60th anniversary.

    “Your behaviour, stemming from your alcohol dependency, is unacceptable in the light of universal cultural norms,” Polish MP Krystyna Pawłowicz said in a letter to Mr Juncker after the incident…….

    Liked by 2 people

  66. Yoda says:

    “Progressives think that America is the worst nation in the world, full of violence, racism, sexism, homophobia and Islamophobia and ruled by Literally Hitler in an orange fright wig. So why don’t they post warning signs on the border of this evil country and try to keep people out instead of inviting them all in?”

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/371480.php

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Stephanie says:

    Looks like I’m going to have to learn how to mow the grass…. and do other husband-y things LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Yoda says:

    Goats and sheep mow grass they do

    Liked by 2 people

  69. Spawny Get says:

    Sadly sheep also eat bushes though. No direct expertise with goats but I hear they’re even worse for it.

    Liked by 2 people

  70. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly likes the idea of using sheep to mow grass. Lawnmowers are loud.

    Like

  71. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Laura Wood on the the Vogue editor that called Melania on her shoes. Warning: have eye wash ready.
    http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2017/09/an-arbiter-of-bad-taste/

    Like

  72. SFC Ton says:

    Regarding the link about the fashion editor….

    The term catholic ideals always cracks me up. The catholic vote is a major reason we gave all this dysfunction so I can’t see how it’s an “ideal” at all

    Like

  73. Yoda says:

    Why she won not by 50 points I know not

    Democratic operatives can’t stand the thought of her picking the scabs of 2016, again — the Bernie Sanders divide, the Jim Comey complaints, the casting blame on Barack Obama for not speaking out more on Russia. Alums of her Brooklyn headquarters who were miserable even when they thought she was winning tend to greet the topic with, “Oh, God,” “I can’t handle it,” and “the final torture.” …

    But with a new NBC News poll showing her approval rating at 30 percent, the lowest recorded for her, Clinton kicks it off on Tuesday with a signing at the Union Square Barnes & Noble in New York. She’ll keep it going all the way through December, all across the country.

    “Maybe at the worst possible time, as we are fighting some of the most high-stakes policy and institutional battles we may ever see, at a time when we’re trying to bring the party together so we can all move the party forward — stronger, stronger together,” said Rep. Jared Huffman, a Democrat who represents a Northern California district. “She’s got every right to tell her story. Who am I to say she shouldn’t, or how she should tell it? But it is difficult for some of us, even like myself who’ve supported her, to play out all these media cycles about the blame game, and the excuses.” …

    “There is a collective groan,” he said, “whenever there’s another news cycle about this.”

    https://hotair.com/archives/2017/09/08/bernie-come-anyone-really-believe-hillarys-whining/

    Liked by 1 person

  74. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    The best of all possible outcomes for Hillary is to retire in obscurity. That she doesn’t choose this speaks for her lack of wisdom.

    Like

  75. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As voter fraud goes, this is so blatant. I guess they thought that if Hillary won, they would not be prosecuted and, if Donald Trump won, there would be no need.
    http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2017/09/add-one-more-state-to-trumps-electoral.html

    Liked by 1 person

  76. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly, hope this helps.

    Like

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