This is my first post here. I offered this particular post idea to Spawny and he took it. Here’s hoping he won’t regret it.
The post you’re about to read is a bit of an expansion of and variation on a comment you’ve seen me leave here repeatedly.
I think it’s going to get bad for men. Really bad.
In my opinion, we’re at the very tail end of most men being able to get married, reproduce, and have some semblance of a family, which might or might not last. We’re at the very beginning of something very different. It will be a major lifestyle change for most men, which will also affect most women.
Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a revenge fantasy in which I think dastardly women will get their comeuppance for all the mean things they’ve done to men or for carouseling it in their youth. This is just a natural consequence of women’s decisions, and a number of other events and trends all coinciding, to create something of a perfect storm. Sit tight, because this outlook is bleak.
For the foreseeable future, most men, most young men under 35 reading this, will not marry. They will not ever have children. If they do sire children, those men won’t see them or know them or have a hand in raising them. Most men will live their entire lives with sex lives resembling those of the average high school male: repeated failure and months- or years-long dry spells interspersed with several short term relationships, a few long term relationships, and a few one night stands. Most men will not share their lives with any woman, because they won’t be able to.
There are many, many reasons for this. There are two prime reasons. First is that the average man of today is not sexually attractive enough to get and keep the attention of a woman such as to expect her to commit to him for two or three decades, or more. The second is that the average woman of today has had sexual relationships with much, much more attractive men than the men who are willing to commit to her. The average modern woman will be completely unwilling to commit to the average men on offer, particularly since she has her own money and resources, or extracts them from the burgeoning, intrusive state.
MGTOW (by that I mean real MGTOW as originally conceived, circa early 2000s style) will explode in the years and decades to come. More and more men will simply eschew marriage and fatherhood, totally and completely. Those men will still have the occasional sexual relationship or coupling with women. But commitment will be absolutely out of the question. More common will be the incel/frustrated chump segment of MGTOW. These are the men who don’t want to try to get more attractive, don’t care, or tried and failed to get more attractive. These men will be the ones with the occasional relationship, but more often will subsist on hookers and porn.
Yes, men will still have sex with women. But they’ll do it only after having vasectomies (if they can still get them without a woman’s permission) and “taking control of the birth”. Men just won’t marry, and won’t father children.
Men will take this position on marriage and fatherhood because the risks long ago outweighed the benefits. Most men who do make the marriage mistake will see their marriages end, at enormous personal, financial and emotional cost. Most men who do make the fatherhood mistake will find themselves reduced to little more than monthly support checks in the lives of their offspring. More and more men are seeing this now, and concluding, rightly, that there’s no upside at all to marriage or fatherhood, and the downsides are horrifying both for themselves and any children their unions produce.
Marriage will increasingly become the province of the upper middle class on up. Within that social strata, marriage will be almost exclusively for acquiring, consolidating and preserving material wealth. Those marriages will stay together, but not for sexual attraction or “happiness”. The marriages will hang together for their one child, at most two children, and to pass on the wealth accumulated during the marriage. This minority will become the new “Old Money” and landed gentry in the US. They will retreat to gated communities and will increasingly isolate themselves within their own social groups. There will also be increasing overall degenerate behavior (adultery, addictions, alcoholism, porn consumption) among those groups, because mutual sexual attraction and affinity won’t be a reason for the formation or continuation of marriage.
There are a number of other reasons for what I think will be very bleak times ahead. More and more men are underperforming in schools, which causes them to underperform in higher education and job training, which causes them to underperform in employment and earning. They will earn just enough to support themselves, but not enough to support a wife or a family. And our society has been trending this way for years. Most men now don’t earn enough to support a family; two incomes have long been required. And more women are outearning men now, further contributing to men’s increasing inability to get and stay married. Women don’t want to marry men they have to support financially, and they sure as hell don’t want to pay alimony to ex husbands.
Women’s sexual strategies and method of forming and sustaining relationships with men have been revealed for what they are. More and more women don’t even try to sugarcoat or conceal their strategies any longer, and even if they wanted to they probably couldn’t. The concepts of “marriage is a bad deal for men” and “alpha fucks, beta bucks” have made it into mainstream blog discourse. Men and women who have never heard of the manosphere are openly discussing these concepts under different names and phrases. Most men are now much more aware of marriage pitfalls and failures than they were even 10 years ago.
A relatively new development in the past 10 years or so, since the Obama administration began, is the rapid proliferation of identity politics and the resulting societal fractures along race, class and gender fault lines. The Left has been practicing identity politics for at least 30 years now; with the rest of society catching up. We are increasingly distrustful and skeptical of one another. Every incident involving police or some aggrieved interest group is blasted across the internet.
Ethnic groups (mostly whites, and men) who have silently taken it on the chin for decades are saying “no more” and pushing back hard. The election of Donald Trump, a deeply personally flawed real estate developer, TV personality, self-aggrandizing egotist and political neophyte, represents a huge hoisted middle finger to politicos and ideologues on both sides of the aisle. Even those who voted for Trump don’t fully trust him, as clearly represented by his in-the-toilet approval ratings. The only entity less popular than Trump is the US Congress.
But they don’t care even if everything the left says about the president is true. The Cathedral has finally pushed them too far, and in response to their shouting is using Antifa thugs and goons to mount a tremendous offensive against them. The alt-left is actually advocating violence against anyone who supports “alt right” ideas – a development we all knew was coming despite the left’s prior support of free speech, no matter how hateful or offensive. Now that the left owns the apparatuses of Deep State government, culture, corporations and media, the US First Amendment no longer “protects” anyone with views opposing Antifa. They can demonstrate, but it’s open season on them as police retreat and let Antifa thugs launch violent physical attacks with impunity. Dissidents are being doxxed, outed, fired from their jobs, and ostracized from society.
Essentially, the left’s response to all this is “everyone who voted for Donald Trump, and everyone who associates with anyone who voted for Trump, is a racist Nazi who needs to starve to death or die in a fire. Anyone who defends anyone who voted for Trump deserves to be physically attacked and decried as a racist Nazi. Anyone who employs anyone who voted for Trump is a Nazi sympathizer who deserves to be boycotted into oblivion and their businesses destroyed.”
Trump is probably a one-termer. In 2020 he’ll likely be replaced with someone more Establishment. Expect the Dems to run Cory Booker for an attempt at Obama’s third term, or Liz Warren, or even Hillary again. He’ll be replaced with someone more willing to do the Cathedral’s bidding soon enough. But the damage is done. Identity politics reigns supreme now, and there’s no going back for the foreseeable future. There is so much distrust and discord among the factions that I don’t see how it can ever be repaired. The US really isn’t even a nation anymore, if it ever was. Race relations are the worst they’ve been in my conscious memory (about 40 years) and there’s no end in sight to their deterioration.
There is increasing radicalization across the board in all spectra: race, socioeconomic status, gender, ethnicity, political philosophy, nationality, you name it. There’s no common ground anymore, nor even efforts to find common ground. This can be sustained in the short term (<20 years) but not in the long term. The lid will eventually blow off the boiling pot.
Why would any sane man even try to form a family in these times?
It’s bad, and it’s going to get worse. A lot worse.
Discuss. What do you think? Am I wrong? Is there anything I’m missing? Is there anything that can be done to improve things?
Coming up next in Part II: The likely consequences of things Getting Really Bad For Men.