Of Two Minds

Deti states,

The reason church boys are betaized like this is not because they never expect these men to mate. It’s because they view all natural masculinity – aggressive, pursuing, taking what you want, even assertiveness and standing up for what you want and need – as toxic and mean and cruel and “not nice”. It’s because they believe such men are not really sexy. It’s because they honestly believe women are attracted to nice, kind, friendly, helpful men. It’s because they honestly believe that looks don’t matter.

They honestly, truly believe they are helping these boys. They aren’t trying to hurt them. They truly believe they’re doing the best they can for their boys. What they miss is that they’re preparing their sons for a sexual and relationship marketplace that has been extinct for the last 40 years.

That’s why I stay active around here. I want to know what’s really going on in the world that I don’t date or fuck in. I want’ to know what dating/sex world my son is growing up into. I want to know it so I can help get him ready for it.

It’s also because they truly, honestly believe the only true route to happiness for men is through marriage to a woman, and therefore they feel they have to get their sons married off just as soon as possible. It’s also because they believe the only way they can get their sons married off is to sand off his rough edges with niceness, milquetoastiness, and pussification because that makes him more pliable and willing to compromise himself and what he wants/ needs for a woman.

There are many aspects to consider here.  First of all, consider this: What they miss is that they’re preparing their sons for a sexual and relationship marketplace that has been extinct for the last 40 years.  In the olden days, the Evil Patriarchy strongly nudged women toward finding a husband.  Since food and shelter are high on the priority list, finding a fella with an adequate job was first and foremost.  The fella settling into the corporate life, not making waves was just the ticket.  Furthermore masculine men often do violence (or so it was believed), so the church (and government schools) decided to squeeze that out of boys.  So yes, 40 plus years ago, these milquetoast fellas were just what the country needed.

The restraints on women have been removed, and their base instincts are now celebrated and subsidized.  They want the tingles and can now pursue them with impunity.  But apparently this can never be admitted to.  Why would this be?  Probably most women don’t think about it cognitively, but deep down they might have an inkling.

I.  We need the cog guys to keep producing.

II. If lots of fellas become player types using game techniques, they would spend their time picking up women and not working

III. The sexes are the same (except for women making babies) so we should make boys more girllike and girls more boylike because that is what we are told we should do

IV.  Falling for masculine guys is a betrayal of the Feminist Sisterhood

V.  If any of this becomes mainstream, men will learn about hypergamy and they will be pissed

VI. Masculine men just don’t fit into the kumbaya world that we are all supposedly creating.

VII. Women are supposed to be pure and nice such that logically they should reward guys that are nice also.

Any way that you consider it, there are forces perpetuating the boys and the young men that they turn into should be milquetoast notion of child-raising.

Posted in Dating????, FarmBoy, Feminism, Hypergamy, Trainwreck
98 comments on “Of Two Minds
  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I said something provocative to Deti to get this response. I have since apologizes. Still, looking at this, can people be this inept to emasculate boys or is there malice? I think this is what happens when women are given social and sexual dominance, and moral superiority. The girls are perfect, so the boys have to change to accommodate them. We really have gone from patriarchy to matriarchy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SFC Ton says:

    It’s malice of a sorts
    The effeminate preacher types are scart of masculine men. After that it’s all rationalization

    Liked by 2 people

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Also, forty years ago, no one would have thought about turning church boys into inoffensive eunuchs. Something terrible has happened in the meanwhile. Feminism has taken all the restriction off female sexuality and women have imposed an eleventh commandment, “Thou shall not criticize women.”


  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thank you, Renna, where ever you are. Feminists love to bash men until something like this happens. Then, they get very quiet.


  5. Stephanie says:

    Yoda, that was a Houston SWAT officer carrying that woman through the flood waters.

    This is why I have a big bat to beat the “Badge Bunnies” off with! LOL Who could resist a sexy hero rescuing you from something horrible/terrifying? I’m kidding… kind of!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Stephanie says:

    Just saying… badge bunnies are nuts. I have a fellow police wife friend who went out to eat with her husband recently (not in uniform!) and they watched some officers walk in (uniforms on obviously) and sit down near them.

    She told me the waitresses started acting insane. Running around a little faster than normal, primping, fixing their hair, laughing more, eyehing and flirting with the officers. She couldn’t believe how crazy it was to watch them! Their total attention turned to these hot officers.

    She then told her husband she was going to start making him food to take… LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It’s the uniform. It affects boys too. There was a dispatcher, but it never worked out. I had a teacher in high school that, when he graduated from Annapolis, was tempted by the Marine uniform.


  8. BuenaVista says:

    Probably more men need to refuse to rescue or sustain the strong, empowered females who can’t walk through 30 inches of water; need to tell their wives they’re not going to church any more, and neither is their money; need to pull their children out of school; need to shun the accusatory, angry femme fatale at the office (there’s always one, and the women never shut her down); need to laugh when the 20 year-old coed, who was drinking and chatting with a stranger outside her apartment, claims “attempted sexual assault” when the stranger tried to kiss her.

    My assessment is that this strange minority of women, who are nearly all single, now control a lot of institutions. The church, the university, the county courthouse, and the schools; the police department (investigating “attempted sexual assault”); the metastasizing tech dystopias of Google, FB, Twitter and Instagram.

    What’s significant about that is that these are the public commons. Male spaces have been converged and made coed. And because the personal is political, it’s a rare evening when a man can even go on a date without navigating sexual politics.

    Maybe if enough men just say fuck it, you make the trains run on time, enough women will shut down the psycho blobs of lesbianic rage.

    Male pleasures are increasingly private and solitary, and that includes any pleasures enjoyed with women. You don’t put a seat big enough for two, on your motorcycle, if caprice, anger and casual sex rule the post-modern female. That would be a waste of $500.


    TL;DR: in the past couple-three years my anecdotal research says we’re past the tipping point now. Women make a virtue of being “a nasty woman” and they’ve occupied everything from the convenience stores to the front desk at the cop shop. At the university they seem to look for opportunities to be arbitrary bitches; the men all tiptoe around them, soft and apologetic. (Of course that makes the arbitrary bitches — be they barren spinsters or lesbianic blobs — even angrier.)

    Liked by 3 people

  9. BuenaVista says:

    Correction: that was 18 inches of water.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Spawny Get says:

    Do we know that Ame is okay?

    Liked by 2 people

  11. A Dad says:

    I’m basically going full-Ton and telling my son that I’ll kick his ass if he marries at all, when he gets older.

    Boys need their fathers to teach them how to deal with this new world. Among other things, they need to be red-pilled as soon as they can start to see the problems with the modern world. Boy and I were at the boxing gym and we talked about how schools and women try to tell the boys to not take out their energy in a physical way; basically to be passive little betas that behave like girls. He got to punch me a bit, so he understands that there is an outlet and that there are times in life where it’s acceptable / and even necessary to fight. He has a hell of a time when he can put on the gloves and is actually encouraged to throw down against someone else.

    We went out to eat and I was disgusted by the number of androgynous Millennial guys that were dating fatties. It was crazy. This needs to end now. Men, teach your boys to be men.

    [ SG – Just caught your comment, I’ve edited the time to bring it to where nobody is going to miss it. Was 2:30ish it’s now 8:30ish. Any further comments should just come through immediately ]

    Liked by 2 people

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    If I remember correctly, Ame lives in the same area as Stephanie and Stephanie is here with us without complaint. I do hope that all is well with Ame. I did go looking for one of her comments to leave a comment at her site asking her to check in with us. I went back five posts here, David Collard’s, and Stephanie’s without finding a comment from here.So I could not leave a message. I hope that we hear from her soon.

    The EU is trying to hold up the UK for money because they are a contributor to the EU and not a parasite. That is why the EU is sad to see the UK go. Should they get seventy five billion? Heck, no!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A Dad,
    You found your way here. I hope that by the time your son is of that age, this stuff will have resolved itself and for the better.


  14. Spawny Get says:

    Thanks Fuzz. I was away yesterday and will be busy today.

    The EU is clearly counting on us being desperate to do any deal. Our Quisling Reeeeeemainiacs are constantly saying that no deal is worse than any deal. Well no. The wrong deal is worse than no deal. No deal means WTO rules on tariffs (which suit us as a nett importer, or at least suits us more. We can use the takings of our duties from our imports and fund the duties of our exporters and still have money in the bank.). Also, I’ve the heard that the EU is gefuckt without easy access to London’s financial sector.

    ‘Davis’ in the clip above is David Davis and he isn’t a reeeemainer.

    I’ve already heard of a senior UK legal judgement on a divorce bill…there’s no basis for it in the treaties.

    The EU wants us to fold under pressure of the clock running out. Any intelligent person sees that under those circumstances we have the whip hand (as far as any exists). All our Quislings are desperate to give the power to the EU and BOGAHIC. Fuck ’em, fuck ’em all.

    There should be an easy deal where market access remains open but immigration is closed but the EU is terrified that if we leave under good conditions then half the EU will leave too. They’re desperate to screw us publicly as a lesson to others but (I hope) we’re just not that kind of country (or rather that we don’t have that kind of ‘leadership’).

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Spawny Get says:

    An oldy but goody

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Spawny Get says:

    This is rather good. The speaker is looking to use the prolescum but is himself vulnerable to being used by those above him.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I think there are a few nations that want to see how the UK gets treated for leaving before they consider it.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. BuenaVista says:

    Liked by 3 people

  19. Spawny Get says:

    The Visegrad Four are being threatened for refusal to ‘accept’ ‘refugees’. They are nett benefiters of the EU right now, but with us gone the sums have to be revised. If we BREXIT there’s a lot less sugar to spread around. I’m not saying that financial reasons are top of the their motivations (far from it), I am saying that it’s another factor against EU membershit in the future for other countries.

    Italy seems to be less and less enchanted by the immigrant flood. The mafia have got involved down south as antis now. It is assumed that they used to make money by running immigrant camps as scams, but if they’ve decided to change their ways…another boost for them with the people. It’s the US alcohol catastrophe that funded their growth all over again; money to the mob and the people regarding the law as an ass. This is not how we build a healthy society.

    Remember guys

    What a threat!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    It is not that the Four have refused to take in refugees. Poland has taken in a million Ukrainians from a the civil war. The refugees that the EU would have them take in are military age Muslim men. The Ukrainians would be more likely to be women and children. As obnoxious as the possibility could be, I think feminists want all these men to come in and compete sexually with the native men for native women. No wonder the Four want to bail.

    That bunch is enough to drive a man to drink.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Spawny Get says:

    disMay, Druncker and The Merkin


  22. Spawny Get says:

    Read to the end…

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Stephanie says:

    “Ame lives in the same area as Stephanie and Stephanie is here with us without complaint. I do hope that all is well with Ame. I did go looking for one of her comments to leave a comment at her site asking her to check in with us. ”

    Her area was expected to just get thundrstorms and scattered showers ths past weekend when it hit. She should be ok… I saw her city was expecting 5,000 evacuees. Our favorite island and some of the surrounding cities down there got decimated, and Houston, Dickinson, etc. are flooded.

    Liked by 3 people

  24. A Dad says:

    Fuzzie – Been lurking for a while.

    Nobody is going to change things for our sons unless we do it. We’ve all got to step up. My boy watched his mother betray him and his father, so the seed has already been planted.

    This is the world we now live in.


  25. mgtowhorseman says:

    Be interesting to see the aftermath of Harvey vs Katrina given Texas is one of the last holdouts of men who can get shit done. Hopefully the guys will come in from the outer counties to help the city mileqosts save their womenz.

    Also wonder if the men are honouring the old womens and chillin first or are saying “good luck babe.” Seems that aluminum fishing boat has a use after all.

    Hate to be a single baby mama with a brood in all this.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Yoda says:

    That’s just adorable, isn’t it? Man and raptor, waiting out the worst of the storm in a dry, safe room. So what could go wrong? Well, this is the internet, so obviously something had to. If you go back and replay that second video again, check out the few frames around the 45 second mark where the camera swings around to the other side of the room. There on the wall there is… a Confederate flag.

    The reaction in Bruso’s comment section was swift, predictable, brutal and utterly stupid. And we were once again off to the races.


    Liked by 2 people

  27. mgtowhorseman says:

    I have said repeatedly womenz don’t want us.

    It will only change when they NEED us.

    Need a fisherman’s boat to rescue you?
    Need a civil engineers knowledge to drain the water?
    Need a carpenter’s hammer to rebuild your basement?

    Oh wait.

    You’re a Fish!
    Fish love water.

    Us Bicycles will be pedalling along. Bye!

    Liked by 4 people

  28. mgtowhorseman says:

    Harvey and his new friend will be fine.

    Somehow I don’t think this guy with the ultimate mancave is gonna give two shits about the opinion of soggy libtards.

    Fuck, I’d buy him a shot just for style and decency!

    Yeah Harvey? It was fun.
    Rode it out in my bunker, drinking whiskey and talkin to the bird here.

    Puts a pirate parrot to shame.

    Liked by 3 people

  29. mgtowhorseman says:

    Too bad Evergreen and Berkley weren’t located in Huston.
    Love to see how they would make out.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The Washington Post said that?

    Thanks for the word on Ame. I never did find a comment of hers to lead me back to her site. She does go quiet for weeks at a time and I hope that all is well.

    I wonder if the fish will ever figure out that bicycles are good to have around?

    Liked by 1 person

  31. mgtowhorseman says:

    Trades? Who needs trades.

    There is an app for that.

    Houston? Anyone? Houston?

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Yoda says:

    Too bad Evergreen and Berkley weren’t located in Houston.

    Love to see how they would make out.

    Well they would
    For water just a social construct it is

    Liked by 1 person

  33. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Evergreen is located in Washington and Berkley is on the San Francisco Bay. Both are going to have far superior drainage.


  34. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Dalrock is from Texas. Here is is his post on the hurricane.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Spawny Get says:

    This is McCultural Appropriation *shakes fist*

    Liked by 3 people

  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I am smiling.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Yoda says:

    A wee bit too much that is

    Liked by 2 people

  38. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “Too much” would be Nessie wearing a Tam O’Shanter.
    I think that Nessie always wanted to visit Texas.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. SFC Ton says:

    Very few people from Houston is from Texas, and of course there is the demographic issue as well

    Liked by 2 people

  40. SFC Ton says:

    Got to admit that hawk deal is cool as fuck

    Liked by 1 person

  41. SFC Ton says:

    Another group of undocumented immigrants making america better



  42. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that Google has found itself in 4chan’s gunsights. While I usually don’t read Heartiste and rarely link him, this is news.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Spawny Get says:

    It’s going to be a big seller

    Liked by 1 person

  44. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    After seeing this, I think that Antifa would have little trouble turning on their masters.


  45. BuenaVista says:

    FB, Antifa is avowedly anti-semitic and being so is a central principle in their world of war against anyone denying the reality “intersectionality”, and the crimes of oppression. Who ever wrote that, further, is profoundly naive; the battle isn’t been won against the “Nazis” and “white supremacists” because, basically, there aren’t any. That’s why they are broadening the fight to include Democrats, liberal college professors, Thomas Jefferson and mainstream Republicans and Libertarians. The endgame is anarcho-communism, this is explicitly in their charter, and if they have to label 80% of the country Nazis and pederasts they will do so. They *are* doing so.

    Griswold is very naive. Yesterday he was suggesting that Antifa was more powerful than the Tea Party, and stroking his chin about that. The TP too over this country in 8 years, with the minor problem that the Republicans didn’t get the memo and wish to give it back to Obama’s crowd.

    Liked by 2 people

  46. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Subtle, perhaps too subtle.


  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Not subtle.

    You did remind me of something. I have been told that little kids like beer, but then they turn three and don’t like it, until they are much older. In the meanwhile puppies always work.


  48. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The looting has started in Houston and video surveillance has been released. I am not going to link it. It is the usual suspects. There has been so much white flight fro Houston that whites are a minority.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Farm Boy says:

    After months of a controversial storyline in which Marvel Comics turned Captain America into a fascist dictator in a reality where World War Two was won by the evil, Nazi-like organization Hydra, Marvel is dumping the storyline and returning the Captain to being a hero.


    Liked by 1 person

  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Marvel has had a lot of bad ideas, but this has to be the worst. It is right up there with “Conquistador Coffee Kills!”


  51. Spawny Get says:

    For Corbyn you can read Sanders, same shit just different gravy

    Liked by 1 person

  52. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Not that it would ever happen, but Labour could draft Mark Latham in Australia, he has served as Labour there, and eschew all the foolishness for pragmatism. That would make too much sense.


  53. Ame says:

    i had a nice comment all typed out and then lost internet connection! ugh!

    anyway … Thank you, Spawny, for checking on me and mine 🙂

    yes, we are all fine. my Husband’s daughter, son-in-law and their two kids and his family all live on the coast, and they are all fine and helping others.

    – – – – – – –

    Deti is spot on in OP.

    Liked by 4 people

  54. Ame says:

    and thank you, Fuzzie, for trying to ck on me, too.

    – – – – –

    and that fire ant thing is CRAZY, Ton! eeeeeeek!!! my Oldest has an anaphylactic allergy to fire ants (almost died in kinder), so fire ants are a HUGE enemy in our fam. i’m not even going to show her that!

    – – – – –

    that cajun army thing is cool 🙂

    – – – – –

    houston is one area i have NEVER wanted to live … i’m allergic to freaking everything down there and would have to take some serious drugs to live in the area just to breathe. my first husband interviewed for some jobs down there when he got his mba and i was so thankful that’s not where we ended up.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thank you for checking in. We were worried. Stephanie said that the area you are in was not in danger, so that put our minds at rest.
    Good to hear from you!

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Ame says:

    thank you for caring, Fuzzie – warms my heart!

    i know i’m not around as much anymore – have cut back on my internet time quite a bit but i do scan posts and comments when i can 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  57. Stephanie says:

    So my husband came home last night and told me the Cajun Navy was being thanked by Houston thugs shooting at them and trying to steal their boats!!

    Ton noted up there (and please y’all remember it), a lot of people living in Houston are not really from Texas. Many came in 2005 when Katrina hit… and unfortunately they never left or went away.

    It’s a good rule of thumb to look at the voting patterns of the counties and see the percentage of democrat/liberals compared to conservatives to see other problems they tend to have like crime, drugs, etc. Houston and Austin just don’t match the rest of Texas.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Stephanie says:

    Glad you’re ok Ame!! Everyone was panicking here and buying tons of alcohol and toilet paper (LOL that’sTexas!!!!). We weren’t panicking, I remember the flood of 98… this wasn’t supposed to be worse than that. It anything comes that IS worse than 98’s flood, we’ll start building an ark.

    It was funny to see everyone marking themselves as “Safe During Hurricane Harvey” on facebook when it didn’t even hit us 😛 Some even marked themselves as “Safe” BEFORE it freaking hit us!

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Stephanie says:

    I mean… LOOK AT THIS!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  60. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A priest once said, “You die as you live.” That he died on the job would be called a good death by any of the 300 Spartans.

    Liked by 1 person

  61. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As for the Cajun Navy getting fired on. I linked a post that covered how the demographics of Houston have changed. According to the writer, so much money was spent on social programs that little was left for infrastructure, like drainage.


  62. Farm Boy says:

    A bride and groom share a moment on their wedding day in 2014. A new study led by a University of Kansas sociologist has found that as women have become more educated in recent decades, it is now easier for men to marry up than women and that this family dynamic has improved the economic well-being of men.


    Liked by 1 person

  63. RichardP says:

    Conclusion of the article FB linked to: “When we consider family dynamics,” Kim said, “men are getting the benefit from women’s progress.”

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Spawny Get says:

    For the record, I’m also happy that Stephanie is okay too. I just wasn’t aware that she was in Texas too. My bad.

    Liked by 2 people

  65. Spawny Get says:

    I wouldn’t mind the female supremacy bullshit quite so much if they didn’t simultaneously run the oh woe is me woman bullshit.

    Liked by 2 people

  66. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Dalrock has good links about the hurricane.


  67. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    It is a little hard to accept and they will switch from one sentence to the next.


  68. Yoda says:

    Important news this is

    Beltway journalists were all a-Twitter over First Lady Melania Trump wearing high heels when she boarded Air Force One with President Donald Trump in Washington, DC for the trip to Texas to visit sites impacted by Hurricane Harvey.

    But the First Lady apparently had the ability to change shoes over the course of the flight to Corpus Christi, Texas, where she arrived wearing black slacks, a white shirt, and Adidas sneakers.


    Liked by 1 person

  69. Yoda says:

    A new post there is


  70. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Ezra Levant talks to John Cardillo about Antifa. John is former NYPD.

    Liked by 1 person

  71. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Criticizing Melania over shoes? That is a reach. The President has enemies, but that is beneath pettiness.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Yoda says:

    Two law professors face racism, sexism, and homophobia charges for urging Americans to act responsibly.

    On August 9, University of Pennsylvania law professor Amy Wax and University of San Diego law professor Larry Alexander published an op-ed in the Philadelphia Inquirer calling for a revival of the bourgeois values that characterized mid-century American life, including child-rearing within marriage, hard work, self-discipline on and off the job, and respect for authority. The late 1960s took aim at the bourgeois ethic, they say, encouraging an “antiauthoritarian, adolescent, wish-fulfillment ideal [of] sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll that was unworthy of, and unworkable for, a mature, prosperous adult society”


    Liked by 1 person

  73. Stephanie says:

    Just saw Dalrock’s post you added Fuzzie. Honestly, he and many of those men there only care about police officers when they’re using them. They hate the police.


  74. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I rarely read comments at Dalrock. Did you see the video I linked upthread? The one with John Cardillo?


  75. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I just read a post, that is unconfirmed, about a church in Houston that will only take in men with families. No single men.


  76. Stephanie says:

    That’s horrible about the single men Fuzzie if that’s true… 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  77. Stephanie says:

    Fuzzie, just listened to the first half and will have to complete it later. I totally agree with the nypd former officer. If it continues to infect all depts across the country, not sure what we’ll do. Yuck!

    Liked by 1 person

  78. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The good news is that liberals are disowning Antifa. From Antifa’s chants, George Soros has turned off the money tap. This may resolve itself.
    As for the commenters at Dalrock, they have always been a dismal bunch. If they are down on police, it is because they are down on authority in general. Once, I did try commenting there and flirted with a female commenter. She caught hell from a regular. I asked him to apologize, he didn’t, so I don’t bother anymore.
    As for the single men, the story is all too credible.


  79. RichardP says:

    “That’s horrible about the single men Fuzzie if that’s true… 😦”

    One of the primary responsibilities of a manager is “allocating scarce resources among competing objectives”.

    In situations such as the storm in Houston, single men can fend for themselves better than can men with families. Single men can sleep in a tree if necessary. Men with families, not so much.

    When the boat only holds 25 people, and 250 people are clamoring to get in, someone must be exluded. How do you decided?

    Most folks shudder and say they are glad that they don’t have to make such decisions. But, in every area of governance (local, county, state, federal), in every country, such decisions must be made. Resources are scarce. They must be allocated. Some folks will get left out. How do you decide?


  80. RichardP says:

    At Dalrocks: “If they are down on police, it is because they are down on authority in general.”

    I’ve not noticed any particular negative attitude toward police there. There has been much negative comment about the Duluth Model that many police are required to adhere to when responding to domestic violence calls. I think the negativity is directed toward the managers that are requiring the police to adhere to this model, not to the police themselves.


    Liked by 1 person

  81. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Your argument justifies discrimination. It would be a different matter if Church A turned them away while Church B took them in. What is more likely is that both A and B are turning them away. The single men will get the message.


  82. Stephanie says:

    “I’ve not noticed any particular negative attitude toward police there.”

    I’ve seen, in the past, quite a few comments mocking police officers even in this environment, for either getting out of the profession or fearing being shot… very nasty comments that are kind of hard to forget. I try not to think about it, but seeing Fuzzie’s post – him praise the Cajun Navy (which is mostly comprised of law enforcement – both retired and active – and military, retired and active) and him obviously thinking it’s something remarkable, when normal law enforcement does that all the time. There are way more active law enforcement officers over there (far more than the Cajun Navy) volunteering their time off from their own departments (we know many down there right now as we speak!!) than normal citizens… and yet that is just expected of the officers. They are expected to be used and sacrificial without getting any notice. Which is fine, they don’t do it for any kind of glory (neither does the Cajun Navy), but I guess for a wife that worries about her husband being used by such people, and expected to continue being used even if it costs him his life, it’s kind of hard. In the end, they don’t care about the normal officers there risking their lives and how their wives and kids sacrifice knowing their husbands may not come back because while it’s “thank God! for the Cajun Navy”… it’s “you didn’t come fast enough” for the regular law enforcement (see Dal’s post on Orlando last year). Just a totally different attitude… one of thanks and then one of entitlement.


  83. Stephanie says:

    And it’s probably supposed to be that way… in a way… because their salaries really are paid for through taxes, and they truly are “public servants.” It’s just something I obviously still need to work on accepting and not being bothered by.


  84. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I can’t do or say anything to put your fears at rest. All I can suggest is that you find another wife who has been married a long time to a police or fireman who has learned to cope. Police and firemen have far higher divorce rates and this may be one of the reasons.


  85. RichardP says:

    @fuzzie: “Your argument justifies discrimination.”

    Not so much justifies as acknowledges.

    Discrimination needs no justification. It is a very present part of everybody’s life. Every time we make a choice we are discriminating. One who cannot disciminate remains paralyzed in inaction.

    The safety of the group requires one to discriminate against those who would threaten that safety. Historically, single young men have been driven from the social group when they reach a certain age, or at least have had heavy restrictions placed on their behavior if they remain. Because it is single young men, banding together, who create problems for the social group, not the married men.

    That dynamic exists on many levels, including the safe spaces provided for women and children during a disaster such as Houston. “Better safe than sorry” requires discrimination.

    When you have to allocate scarce resources among competing objectives, you don’t have time to carefully think through all of the social ramifications of your decision. You just decide based on what you think would work best. And history teaches that single groups of young males tend to create trouble for the larger social group that contains females with children. So those single young males get “managed” in a way that best protects the group, whether animal or human.

    That is not fair to the single guy who is well-mannered. But when you don’t have time to vet them all for well-mannered-ness, you go with what works. Keep them all out.

    But I’m sure you already know all of this. And I’m sure your choice would be the same if you were the one responsible for maintaining the safety of the women and children in the shelter.

    If the single young men don’t know this, somebody failed in teaching them about how the world works – both in the animal realm and the human realm.


  86. RichardP says:

    @Stephanie: “I’ve seen, in the past, quite a few comments mocking police officers even in this environment, for either getting out of the profession or fearing being shot… very nasty comments that are kind of hard to forget.”

    There are so many nasty comments thrown around at Dalrocks that I tend to pass right over them without taking them in while skimming for nuggets of useful info. Plus, I don’t read there all that much. So – if I have encountered the kinds of comments you point to, they were quickly interpreted as stuff to ignore and I went right past them. I don’t have a husband who is a public safety officer, so it makes sense that I can “not see” those comments while you cannot.


  87. Stephanie says:

    Fuzzie, I did immediately join a local wives group when he started, and was recently elected last year to be one of their officers now that coordinates events and promotion ceremonies, public event things, and funerals 😦 The other women in charge (president, vice pres, family assistance, etc.) are all married to men much higher up because they’ve been on a lot longer, they’re also older.

    Curiously though, every one of them except one that is a little younger (mid-30’s), are 2nd wives! We had a conversation a few months ago about how their husbands’ first wives never wanted to be apart of this group or do anything that supportive for them. And it really is a great group with lots of inside tips on planning, financial stuff, and helping your husband get promoted or to a place where he’s truly happy with his career. Plus we get to take care of other officer families whenever they need it, visit ones after they’ve been wounded and make sure they’re getting what they need. The older wives are amazing and do teach me a lot.

    ” I don’t have a husband who is a public safety officer, so it makes sense that I can “not see” those comments while you cannot.”

    Yea I usually don’t read there anymore, but I need to learn this “not seeing” thing!


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