Safe Space

Over at RPG’s, RichardP comments,

This summer she brought “Hillbilly Elegy” home from college and we read it to each other (soon to be a major motion picture directed by Ron Howard). It speaks to the dynamic of constant family fighting that you mentioned.

Toward the end of the book, the author is reflecting about all of his friends who grew up around him in similar circumstances and wondering what it was that allowed him and a few others to “make it” when all the rest didn’t.

His conclusion: he had a safe space he could escape to when the living got to be too much – a place where he could find stability, quietness and someone who believed in him. For the author, that place was his grandmother’s house. The author surmised that he would not have made it out of the chaos without that place to escape to when things got to be too much.

Children need a safe place where they are comfortable and feel safe to grow up in.  If they don’t have it, then very often they have issues as adults.  In my case, the home was a very calm and safe compared to the stresses of school.  If I had to repeat the peak stress level that I had at school at home, I would probably be very different.

Probably the best way to provide such an environment is to have an intact two parent household.  That is somewhat rare in present times.  Even when intact, the parents are just staying together for the sake of the children, which is less than ideal.  The olden days were not as ideal as often portrayed, but they were better than the present day.  What happened?

From RPG’s, Deti states

The whole “sex drops off the cliff after you get married” thing is basically the women faking sexual interest and sexual attraction before the wedding for the express purpose of luring a beta into marriage. Then once she got what she wants, the sex stops. “I’m a married woman. I don’t have to do THAT anymore. Pervert.” It’s mentally ill, it really is. This is is the kind of thing borderlines do – crazy hot sex before the wedding, no sex after.

The hard thing about it is, she was never really attracted to me. She faked it, for the express purpose of ensnaring me into a marriage so she could have what she wanted – the “respectability” and emoluments of being a wife, with none of the responsibilities or even giving a shit about the man she had just tethered her life to.

The Ton states,

Women want alpha cock more then the most of man could understand or more then the most of men ever wanted a woman himself.

So women ride the carousel, become alpha widows, marry far below what they now believe they deserve, resent the heck out the situation, despise the father of her children, maybe even despise her children a bit, create drama due to all of this resentment, get divorced, hate the world for her predicament and so on.  All of this leads to home not being a safe space for children.  Men are not responsible for this situation.

Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Hypergamy, Trainwreck
85 comments on “Safe Space
  1. SFC Ton says:

    Men are responsible in that we listen to and follow bad advice.

    Let’s be men and not bitches. Don’t side step our participation in our own destruction

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Farm Boy says:

    Well, it works best when you know what is happening to you and you have the tools to counter it. That is why we are here.


  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    If home is not a safe and welcoming place for children, these kids will never know what security is. That is crippling and the poor kids have no options. They are stuck with their parents.
    As for women wanting alpha cock, I am beginning to wonder. Try to define “alpha”. Brad Pitt got dumped. Given optimum circumstances, women will still find fault. In any event, these are women who are not satisfied with their choices. They are still responsible for those choices.
    A lot of this is coming back to me. My mother was one of those. I think that she fell under Betty Freidan’s spell without reading the book. This is not about alpha and beta, that would take it out of the control of the errant wife and place the responsibility in the husband.
    Poor kids, they are never going to recover, not as long as they live.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    One more thought, back then, there was no Cock Carousel to ride. A lot of manosphere presumptions should be called into question.


  5. Stephanie says:

    Deti, please don’t think this is “pity,” it’s just that reading your comments on that thread at Bloom’s was so awful. I’m so sorry 😦 You need to take care of your mental health if you stay with your wife. I’m 98% certain my dad’s situation (mental decline or psychotic break… possibly stroke) came from the immense stress my mom put him under. She was great in so many ways teaching me that men needed respect etc, but didn’t practice what she preached at al!!… ironic I could see that even as a teen.

    My dad, right before his break, confessed to me that he probably never should have married her, and I understood completely. He was amazing, not perfect obviously, but a good man.
    She put him through hell in many ways. Anyway, I think, and this is just my opinion, the constant fight to not be emasculated and constant defense against disrespect is probably hard a man’s mental health overtime – especially as he’s aging. Just wanted to let you know so you can be aware and protect yourself.

    And I really don’t relate to why women do this below:

    “So women ride the carousel, become alpha widows, marry far below what they now believe they deserve, resent the heck out the situation, despise the father of her children, maybe even despise her children a bit, create drama due to all of this resentment, get divorced, hate the world for her predicament and so on.”

    Liked by 2 people

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is a really big question that I don’t believe that Red Pill Wisdom does have the answer to. It’s like it is an elephant and we are a crew of blind men trying to describe it. The biggest part of it must be something that Sunshine Mary described. These women are in rebellion against God and nature. I recently saw a video of two incidents on YouTube of women getting pulled over for speeding and having it turned into a full car chase. That is having a problem with authority.


  7. Stephanie says:

    Someone said something about pastors being feminized these days. I agree they are now at least where we live, but my pastor in the little town I’m from in the country wasn’t like that growing up. He was very masculine and a lot of the men were… blue pill, yes, but still not the same as these pastors in the city. We’ve been church shopping, and one of the churches we went to a few times the Senior Pastor kept breaking down and crying on stage!

    I was just reminiscing about the comfort of the “normal” male pastor I grew up with this past Sunday (kind of zoned out lol), and wishing we could find another pastor like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Stephanie says:

    “I recently saw a video of two incidents on YouTube of women getting pulled over for speeding and having it turned into a full car chase. That is having a problem with authority.”

    LOL Fuzzie… these women are insane.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “LOL Fuzzie… these women are insane.”
    Maybe not. Histronic and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are so common that they have been dropped from the DSM-5, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. I hope the judge took into account the threat they were to cop’s safety. One guy was dragged about fifteen feet.
    I am still in shock over this one. Bail was set at one hundred dollars.

    I am in favor of people filming this stuff, no matter who is at fault.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Rebel Media covered the Robert Lee story linked by Yoda to print media. It is even more silly with pictures.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Spawny Get says:

    May not travel well

    A woman goes to the Doctor and says ‘I’ve been taking steroids, and I think I’m growing a willy.’ The Doctor says ‘Anabolic?’ The woman says ‘No, just a willy.’

    Same as the Swedish chemist shop joke (ie read with a Swedish accent)

    Customer : I would like a deodorant please
    Assistant : Ball or aerosol?
    Customer : Neither. I want it for my armpits


    Liked by 1 person

  12. Spawny Get says:

    Bogus rape victim jailed for 10 years after making false claims against 15 men to get attention

    Manipulative Jemma Beale, 25, claimed she was attacked by the strangers over three years – which saw one man wrongly jailed and her handed compensation for her ‘nightmare ordeal’

    Bitch got sentenced to ten years

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Spawny Get says:

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Spawny Get says:

    “Emily Thornberry tipped as next Labour leader by the party’s biggest union backer”
    Yes. Her. That one.

    No! That’s Diane you’re thinking of. The other one

    Yep. The next laba leader (theoretically)…Lady Nugee. ISYN

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Yoda says:

    A wide ranging lady she is

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Yoda says:

    “Do not use the $1 – $2 – $50 or the $100 bills. They have pictures of former slave owners on them! Send them all to me and I will dispose of them properly! Do not just throw them away. They need to be disposed of properly and I am certified to do so. We must get these out of circulation immediately.”

    Liked by 2 people

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I remember when that story hit. I had to scratch my head wondering how such a fat cow could tell such stories to police and be seen as credible. I think that she was only charged and prosecuted for the damage she did to the court. Never mind the men that got railroaded.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. thedeti says:


    Thanks. It’s fine. This is nothing that hasn’t been written about before. No worries. Things are well in hand and we’ll all make the best of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Farm Boy says:

    Hopefully it is working as well as one can hope for Deti’s children

    Liked by 2 people

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    To add to my previous comment, it is not enough that she be prosecuted. She had lots of help.

    If I stepped on your toes with my comment yesterday about church boys, I am sorry. It is that it is difficult to see the damage being done to them without malice as a motivation.


  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    Feminists did open the door for this when they sought out favors for women.This will kill female sports.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Yoda says:

    A man got suspended from Twitter for “sexually harassing Tony the Tiger,” the man’s former roommate said Wednesday.

    Cooper Fleishman, who’s an editor at Mic, posted screenshots of his former roommate’s Twitter account, which was temporarily shut down after he made an inappropriate comment on an ad for Frosted Flakes

    Liked by 1 person

  23. SFC Ton says:

    10 years? Seems like even fat rancid cunts get the pussy pass

    Man that but of news from the Olympics is pure awesome. In 30 years men will have all the Olympic gold medals and records in both the mens and womens events

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Spawny Get says:

    Liked by 1 person

  25. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    While Twitter may think that they are taking sexual harassment seriously, no one is taking them seriously. I am glad that I never signed up to get an account.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Orla and her boyfriend should have talked to someone from Vancouver BC.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Yoda says:

    Oh Canada

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Yoda says:

    During my ‘Welcome Week’, for example, I was presented with a choice of badges indicating my preferred gender pronouns: ‘he’, ‘she’, ‘they’ or ‘ze’?

    The student in front of me, an Australian, found this hilarious: ‘Last time I checked, I was a girl.’ Her joke was met with stony silence. Later I realised why: expressing bewilderment at the obsession with pronouns might count as a ‘micro-aggression’. Next stop, ‘transphobia’.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It was not that long ago that students from all over the world would come here for a college education.


  30. Canada is going apeshit!!
    Here was the line and SJW just pole vaulted over it!!!

    The Teachers Federation which is incredibly powerful up here just demanded that all government of all levels remove the name of Sir John A. MacDonald from public schools and buildings.

    Because the indians were mistreated.

    He is literally our Founding Father.
    He is our George Washington.

    Imagine GW removed from everywhere in the States.

    How to blow any political social good will from the populace.

    You’re a teacher, Fuck Off Asshole.

    Liked by 3 people

  31. Every paper, blog and newscast is picking it up.

    Fuck me.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. SFC Ton says:

    The diveristy in the usa has removed Washington’s name from a lot of schools and they have been doing that for decades now


  33. Un fucking believable.


  34. Farm Boy says:

    Emmanuel Macron spent €26,000 (£24,000) on makeup during his first three months as president of France, it has emerged.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Twenty Six thousand eurodollars? For make up? This sounds like six hundred dollar toilet seats to me.

    Not that it will happen, but this is insane and every teacher should submit to a psychiatric review. The ones that fail can be dismissed for cause. They should not be watching children.


  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I wonder what Marine LePen would say about Emmanuel Macron’s twenty six thousand eurodollar makeup bill?
    “MERDE!!!!!” merdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerde!!!!!!!!


  37. fuzziewuzziebear says:



  38. Cill says:

    Good boating weather here. I took the boat out and dropped the pick 1 K out from the beach. Looking in on my coastline there’s white beach and cliff. Not much sight of the grazing lands but I can see some of the forest. No sight of my abode. Only one man knows exactly where I live. I built a place for visitors and a place for me and ne’er the twain shall meet.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Privacy is good. *happy face*

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Cill says:

    Also security


  41. Cill says:

    I emailed Choicy suggesting he crack a can of Fosters while I decapitate a bottle of CDDU and we’ll quaff them down with a toast across the ether.

    The time zones make it difficult. It’s late arvo 25th Aug here and early arvo in Choicy land and he’ll be hard at work.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I’ll be that Horse knows, but he’ll never tell. Not even for the juiciest, mushiest pear in existence.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Cill says:

    Horse is safe with a secret. His lips are sealed.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Cill says:

    Horse gets along with young Dog better than with old Dog. Young Dog is easier than old Dog for me too. I had a close bond with old Dog but he was a psychopath.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Let Choicy have his Foster’s in his own time. He has been pushing himself so hard that he skipped the Foster’s the last time he joined us.


  46. Choicy says:

    Fuzzie it is a mateship thing. we take beer very seriously down in the great southern land and they take it seriously in the shaky isles as well. I offered a cheers to Cillo when he wasn’t there to reciprocate. That’sd what this is about mate. Cillo we will chug a skull in 7 hours if your not asleep mate. Fuzzie in 7 hours you will be dead as mutton in your time zone mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    We do have a reputation for being able to snooze. I hope that you do enjoy your beer in your time.

    Liked by 2 people

  48. Cill says:

    You’re on Choico.
    0626 Patriarch + 7.


  49. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I am glad to hear that about Horse and Young Dog. I wonder if they will compete to greet Molly?


  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    In this instance, the kangaroo court can’t claim they did not know they were violating due process.
    At what time does this become criminal conduct on the part of the kangaroo court?

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Cill says:

    Molly with old Dog used to give me the collywobbles. Not only her, to be fair. When people bent down to pat him he could have torn their throats out. I had to lock him away when people were around. I loved the old bugger, but life with visitors around is a lot easier now that he’s gone. Alone with me he was fine.


  52. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    If you have to worry about a pet turning vicious, that is too much, especially if you have children around. You only gave a little glimpse into Old Dog’s history but it was horrible. Bad humans.


  53. Cill says:


    My vet (a relly needless to say) said Dog had been beaten with something like a metal pipe, and when knocked unconscious had been beaten on the head with something like a hammer. He was brain damaged, then the piece of shit who owned him put in an organised dog fight. When I chanced on the scene (I was looking for someone) Dog was getting the worse of the fight. He had just enough left to cotton onto me and stay close while I got him out of there. He stayed close as he could after that. I was everything to Dog. He probably didn’t have much brain left. I miss the old bugger.

    Liked by 3 people

  54. Yoda says:

    Drink beers with Moe you do?


  55. Yoda says:

    Really low the dog fight organizers were.
    Wonder why people do it they do I do

    Liked by 1 person

  56. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I wish that the people who did that to Dog could get a little taste of that done to them. I can see why you meant so much to him.


  57. Cill says:

    Colin Meads died last week. Moe is deceased.

    Liked by 2 people

  58. Yoda says:

    Wonder if transgendereds take over the Women’s National Basketball League (WNBA) they will.
    Lesbians hardest hit they would be

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Cill says:

    Hell I’m sounding gloomy when I’m not. A mate of mine has arrived.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Yoda says:

    Sad about Moe that is

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Yoda says:

    A mate of mine has arrived.

    Perhaps Moe alive he is

    Liked by 2 people

  62. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Perhaps Colin Meads has passed, but Moe is a whole different character. He does have a point of view that cuts to the essentials.

    Spawny Get,
    The idea of having big rigs without drivers is unnerving at the least.


  63. Spawny Get says:

    Good people. And a fuckwit bigot narrative pushing aerosol presenter

    Liked by 1 person

  64. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That was the best CNN could do? They have lost the script. They are completely inept at promoting fake news.

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Yoda says:

    A rising number of young Chinese people are failing fitness tests required to join the army because they are too fat and masturbate too much, state media has proclaimed.

    A poor diet and frequent masturbation, leading to abnormally large testicular veins, are believed to be behind falling fitness levels, according to a report published in state-run military newspaper the People’s Liberation Army Daily.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Spawny Get says:

    Safeway is the caring supermarket

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Spawny Get says:

    A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”

    “Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.

    The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!”

    “What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.

    “I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”


    Liked by 1 person

  68. Yoda says:

    Wonder if service the fake rape lady the fella would I do

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Yoda says:

    Justin Trudeau has sought to tone down the warm welcome he promised to migrants, after arrivals at the Canadian border hit 250 a day, leaving immigration officials struggling to cope with the influx.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. Yoda says:

    When a group of far-right activists come to San Francisco to hold a rally this Saturday, they will be met by peace activists offering them flowers to wear in their hair.

    Also, dog shit. Lots and lots of dog shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  71. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    At least they are making plans to clean up after themselves. Otherwise, there would be a problem with sanitation and creating a burden for city workers. Still, they are attempting to disallow someone else’s right to assembly.


  72. Spawny Get says:

    Yeah. Right.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Maybe it is good that rape hysteria is fodder for jokes. Trying to argue against it with reason never worked.

    Liked by 2 people

  74. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Another thought about rape hysteria, it persists. If people truly believed that one in four women on campus would be raped, would there be any women on campus? Would parents send their kids there? Subconsciously, everyone knows it is a bald lie and, yet, they let it pass. Even Barack Obama uses it in speeches.


  75. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I saw this and immediately thought to link it for Farm Boy.


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