Over at RPG’s, RichardP comments,
This summer she brought “Hillbilly Elegy” home from college and we read it to each other (soon to be a major motion picture directed by Ron Howard). It speaks to the dynamic of constant family fighting that you mentioned.
Toward the end of the book, the author is reflecting about all of his friends who grew up around him in similar circumstances and wondering what it was that allowed him and a few others to “make it” when all the rest didn’t.
His conclusion: he had a safe space he could escape to when the living got to be too much – a place where he could find stability, quietness and someone who believed in him. For the author, that place was his grandmother’s house. The author surmised that he would not have made it out of the chaos without that place to escape to when things got to be too much.
Children need a safe place where they are comfortable and feel safe to grow up in. If they don’t have it, then very often they have issues as adults. In my case, the home was a very calm and safe compared to the stresses of school. If I had to repeat the peak stress level that I had at school at home, I would probably be very different.
Probably the best way to provide such an environment is to have an intact two parent household. That is somewhat rare in present times. Even when intact, the parents are just staying together for the sake of the children, which is less than ideal. The olden days were not as ideal as often portrayed, but they were better than the present day. What happened?
From RPG’s, Deti states
The whole “sex drops off the cliff after you get married” thing is basically the women faking sexual interest and sexual attraction before the wedding for the express purpose of luring a beta into marriage. Then once she got what she wants, the sex stops. “I’m a married woman. I don’t have to do THAT anymore. Pervert.” It’s mentally ill, it really is. This is is the kind of thing borderlines do – crazy hot sex before the wedding, no sex after.
The hard thing about it is, she was never really attracted to me. She faked it, for the express purpose of ensnaring me into a marriage so she could have what she wanted – the “respectability” and emoluments of being a wife, with none of the responsibilities or even giving a shit about the man she had just tethered her life to.
The Ton states,
Women want alpha cock more then the most of man could understand or more then the most of men ever wanted a woman himself.
So women ride the carousel, become alpha widows, marry far below what they now believe they deserve, resent the heck out the situation, despise the father of her children, maybe even despise her children a bit, create drama due to all of this resentment, get divorced, hate the world for her predicament and so on. All of this leads to home not being a safe space for children. Men are not responsible for this situation.