Our Good Friend Deti over at Dalrock’s wrote,
This is common in divorces among Christians. Marital trouble is seen as almost always the husband’s fault, caused by the husband’s faults and failures, and therefore his responsibility to fix. If the marriage fails, it is his fault. “He must have done something awful to her for her to want to divorce him.” “She’s so nice and kind and sweet and loving and giving. How could anyone do something so terrible to her to make her want to leave him?!” “We all know wives don’t cause these marital problems. Women are just better at relationships. They’re more moral, more spiritual, better at worshiping God, better at living out a Christian life, and just better overall people than men are. So it must be his fault.”
Think about what Deti said. It is true in people’s minds. Everybody believes it. The reality is a bit different. First of all, modern women are not more moral or better at relationships than men. For the most part, they have become semi-feral with little to no training in either area.
But the bigger question is: “How did we get here?” The short answers seems to be “because guys supplicate like they are told that they should do”. Supplication is expected, easier in the short term and why not relieve your self of responsibility? Of course, in the olden days of the Evil Patriarchy, it was easier not to supplicate, so today’s fella who does not want to do this has to work much harder at it, Is it worth it? The extra work?
To paraphrase Yoda,
- Supplication leads to loss of respect
- Loss of respect leads to loss of attraction
- Loss of attraction leads to contempt
- Contempt leads to nasty divorce
- Nasty Divorce leads to the Dark Side
Addendum by BillyS via Dalrock
The core idea is being content in marriage, not the exact method that started the marriage. Few things push and strongly reinforce the “be content being a helpmeet in your marriage.” Instead we mostly get messages focused on telling men to care for their wives better, actively undermining the very marriages many churches claim to be supporting. Not strengthening contentment in marriage is a major issue, but actively stirring up discontentment in marriage is even worse.