Young Sheilas — Be Truly Nice


From here,

So, where are you on the nice scale? If you’re not an inherently nice person, believe me I get it. I think I’m pretty nice, but that isn’t the first word one would think of to describe me. The truth is, I’ve had to exercise my nice muscle.

I’ve had to learn how to be be nice.

A lot of women think they’re nice because they act nice. But acting nice and being nice are two different things. Being nice means you think of others before you think about yourself. (And yes, there’s such thing as being too nice and putting your needs last; but I’m not talking about that.) It means you’re attune to the needs of others and incorporate those needs into the equation.

It’s really obvious when you’re dealing with a genuinely nice person (as opposed to a phony nice person). Women like my hair stylist and my editor at Fox, or even my own daughter (though at 17, I can’t call her a “woman” just yet), ooze niceness. It comes so naturally to them! That makes them easy to love.

That’s what men like: women who are easy to love.

Women mostly in recent history have been portrayed as sugar and spice and everything nice.  At one time, they were also raised to be that way.  So in those days, when you saw what seemed to be a nice woman, there was a reasonable chance that she actually was just that.  It is common for modern day women to live off of the long standing reputation of women through acting nice; that is, pretending to be nice in order to curry favor form others.  Deep down, these women are anything but nice.  In the long run, their true selves come out, and everything blows up.  This is one of many short term strategies that women take that backfire on them

Young ladies should learn to be truly nice as described above.  It pays off in the long run. It pays off in finding and keeping a husband.  It pays off for the children.  It pays off for everybody.  But it takes work.  Furthermore, one needs to start young.

That brings up the next question: “Can modern women plan and execute long term strategies?”

Addendum by Deti,

Women don’t know how important being nice to their men really is.

And too many women don’t understand the differences between niceness, kindness, politeness, and being a doormat.

Ash makes this fundamental mistake up there. She says she was “too nice” which she equates to being a doormat. It isn’t. A woman can be a total raging bitch and still be a doormat. Usually it’s the doormat status that leads to her being a raging bitch.

A doormat is not a “too nice” person. A doormat is someone who never learned appropriate boundaries and lives under too many covert contracts with other people. Covert contracts are the unstated conventions of interpersonal relationships. Like “If I do X for you, then you will do Y for me. We don’t have to state our expectations. We both just understand the deal.” Except most people don’t.

Most female doormats I’ve met don’t put down appropriate boundaries, especially with men. They also tend to be naïve and gullible, and don’t pay appropriate attention to detail. They aren’t nice.

Then there are women who go to the opposite extreme, putting down constrictive boundaries with EVERYONE, including their own husbands. These are women who run their relationships and that drives them crazy. Most women who set boundaries with husbands are women who got burned in past relationships/sexual experiences, and they are determined that what happened to them before will never happen to them again. And they end up destroying their relationships over it. They aren’t nice either.

What women need to be is “nice” and “polite” with husbands. Not setting down boundaries. Not doormats. There should be NO boundaries between husbands and wives. If Hs and Ws feel the need to put down boundaries between them, there are serious problems in their relationship. Hs and Ws who have boundaries lack trust and intimacy.

If you have to put a boundary down with a spouse, it’s because at the end of the day, you don’t trust him/her. If you did trust them, there’d be no need for a boundary. We have boundaries only with people we don’t fully trust. We don’t let everyone fully into our lives, hence we have boundaries with them. Even with close friends. We dont’ live with them. We don’t fuck them. There are boundaries with them because they don’t have that level of trust.

Women confuse “nice” and “polite”. Polite is something we are to everyone in ordered society. You exchange pleasantries, you make small talk, you greet and smile. Still hard boundaries. But it is not “nice”. You are “nice” only to people you actually know.

Wives should be nice and kind to husbands. Not “polite” and not doormats. And not laying down boundaries.

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Posted in Dating????, FarmBoy, Feminism, HowTo, Marriage, Why
63 comments on “Young Sheilas — Be Truly Nice
  1. Yoda says:

    Who likes nice women not?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “Who likes nice women not?”
    Feminists.
    Seriously, they have done all they can to beat it out of women. It’s to the point where I can’t think of a truly feminine role model off the top of my head. They have done all they can to make women spiritually incompatible with men.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Helen Smith stumbled over something and I don’t think she fully realizes its significance.
    https://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2017/06/14/30-guys-reveal-the-things-girls-think-they-dont-notice-but-they-actually-do/
    The significance is that peer approval is more important to women than the approval of their significant other, which doesn’t even register.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    FArm Boy,
    I am sorry for being a Debbie Downer all the time but I don’t see a way out of this.

    Like

  5. Yoda says:

    Flag day it is

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yoda says:

    Nice girls finish first they can

    Like

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    “Nice girls finish first they can.”
    I would like to see this happen. It would take a girl that can think independently.

    Like

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic. Stories like this have been coming out of South Africa and Zimbabwe with regularity.
    https://heatst.com/world/two-men-drugged-and-raped-by-women-in-separate-attacks/

    Like

  9. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    While they are still having difficulty accepting Trump as President, from time to time, I have insights into what would be going on if Hillary won. It belongs in a horror film.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Ash says:

    It’s important to be friendly, kind, and courteous in general but we must be careful with what we mean by being nice. Spent until my mid 20s being nice. And not just nice, but too nice, which is what people started using to describe me. I was a doormat. I was naive and very trusting of most people, and it blew up in my face a lot.

    The biggest compliment I received recently was that I am friendly, but not too nice, which is exactly what I was going for. So as a goal of generally being a pleasant person, I found it necessary to balance that by also being assertive, create boundaries, and be respected.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Mgtowhorseman says:

    That brings up the next question: “Can modern women plan and execute long term strategies?”

    No.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Yoda says:

    Yes, boundaries acceptable and necessary they are
    Especially with those that exploit you they may

    Like

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    However, manipulative people set boundaries to their advantage and do not respect the boundaries of others. Suspicious of this word I am.

    Like

  14. Yoda says:

    “Boundaries” cuts both ways it does.
    Good or bad they might be

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Mgtowhorseman says:

    Plan, scheme, canive? Definitely.

    Execute? Not so much

    Like

  16. Yoda says:

    Why are women able to execute not?

    Like

  17. Yoda says:

    In the past month, Evergreen State College president George Bridges became the most cucked man alive in the eyes of the Internet.

    Multiple YouTube videos catalogued his descent from authority figure to wheedling Stockholm syndrome victim at the hands of student protesters. By the end of the days’ long meetings with students, George was not allowed to speak with his hands, and had to announce his he/him pronouns before addressing the crowd.

    https://heatst.com/culture-wars/evergreen-president-grows-some-balls-says-some-protesters-could-be-punished/

    Liked by 1 person

  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    They should just shut the college down. That was painful to watch. Also, I have to wonder what a college education is worth. As Aaron Clarey pointed out, they go in as high school graduates who are trainable and come out as SJWs.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Yoda says:

    Hugely negative employment value Evergreen graduates bring

    Liked by 2 people

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Wreck whole premise for attending college they are.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Spawny Get says:

    Ash, you need a weapons grade INTJ Death Stare. After seeing that, when I start talking and crack a smile, I’m seen as being sociable rather than weak. Or they leave me the fuck alone. I’m okay with either way

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Yoda says:

    INTJ Death Stare powerful it is.
    Sometimes more powerful than the designed by INTJ Death Star it would be

    Liked by 1 person

  23. thedeti says:

    Women don’t know how important being nice to their men really is.

    And too many women don’t understand the differences between niceness, kindness, politeness, and being a doormat.

    Ash makes this fundamental mistake up there. She says she was “too nice” which she equates to being a doormat. It isn’t. A woman can be a total raging bitch and still be a doormat. Usually it’s the doormat status that leads to her being a raging bitch.

    A doormat is not a “too nice” person. A doormat is someone who never learned appropriate boundaries and lives under too many covert contracts with other people. Covert contracts are the unstated conventions of interpersonal relationships. Like “If I do X for you, then you will do Y for me. We don’t have to state our expectations. We both just understand the deal.” Except most people don’t.

    Most female doormats I’ve met don’t put down appropriate boundaries, especially with men. They also tend to be naïve and gullible, and don’t pay appropriate attention to detail. They aren’t nice.

    Then there are women who go to the opposite extreme, putting down constrictive boundaries with EVERYONE, including their own husbands. These are women who run their relationships and that drives them crazy. Most women who set boundaries with husbands are women who got burned in past relationships/sexual experiences, and they are determined that what happened to them before will never happen to them again. And they end up destroying their relationships over it. They aren’t nice either.

    What women need to be is “nice” and “polite” with husbands. Not setting down boundaries. Not doormats. There should be NO boundaries between husbands and wives. If Hs and Ws feel the need to put down boundaries between them, there are serious problems in their relationship. Hs and Ws who have boundaries lack trust and intimacy.

    If you have to put a boundary down with a spouse, it’s because at the end of the day, you don’t trust him/her. If you did trust them, there’d be no need for a boundary. We have boundaries only with people we don’t fully trust. We don’t let everyone fully into our lives, hence we have boundaries with them. Even with close friends. We dont’ live with them. We don’t fuck them. There are boundaries with them because they don’t have that level of trust.

    Women confuse “nice” and “polite”. Polite is something we are to everyone in ordered society. You exchange pleasantries, you make small talk, you greet and smile. Still hard boundaries. But it is not “nice”. You are “nice” only to people you actually know.

    Wives should be nice and kind to husbands. Not “polite” and not doormats. And not laying down boundaries.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Your animal video is much better, but mine may entertain gorillas too. All play and no work for this crew.

    Like

  25. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Deti,
    “Women don’t know how important being nice to their men really is.”
    I would beg to differ. They know what it is like to be on the wrong side of not nice and they don’t like it. I think that we have to stop bending over backwards, giving them the benefit of doubt. Something has happened to grant them license to be less than nice to the men in their lives. Society has conferred superior status to women and demoted men.

    Like

  26. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic. While Robert E. Lee could not raise his hand against his native state, I feel differently. I have to agree with the author, what is being done is treason.
    https://www.theburningplatform.com/2017/06/15/the-treasonous-secession-of-climate-confederacy-states/

    Like

  27. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The EU may have gone too far. This is an overview of what is going on in Poland, Czech, Slovakia, and Hungary.
    http://www.returnofkings.com/123455/european-union-plants-seed-of-war-by-preparing-sanctions-against-visegrad-nations-that-reject-migrants

    Like

  28. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Aaron Clarey found this. Higher education is in big trouble.
    https://www.illinoispolicy.org/moodys-downgrades-7-illinois-universities-5-are-junk/

    Like

  29. Spawny Get says:

    Is this the image of someone to take guidance from about your values, integrity and choices in life?

    (pretty new to me ; thot – That Ho Over There)

    Liked by 1 person

  30. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I can’t remember where St. Paul said it but he admonished women to not teach men. This is what has wrecked the Church of England. I have been reading Dalrock’s series of posts related to Father’s Day. I can’t understand why there is a single man left in church.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Spawny Get says:

    There was some research done for the Christians some years back. They wanted to know what influences the kidz whether to go to church after they grow up. The result was whether dad went regularly and willingly (not nagged into it).

    By getting men to realise that the church is just a misandric, marxist waste of time…you kill the church in the next generation.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t know where I saw it it, but Dad’s attendance was a far stronger indicator of what the kid’s will do than Mom’s, even if she is every week.

    Like

  33. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It may be worse, Spawny. If men conclude that the Church hates them, can God be far behind?

    Like

  34. Spawny Get says:

    I don’t do the god thing so I’ll leave that to those that do.

    But I think that if you push men far enough on anything, many will just take the attitude of I no longer give a fuck about anything that you say, bring it on, bring it all on. Fuck you, fuck everything, let’s do this because you lot won’t listen to reason and I’ve had enough. That bloke on the movie ‘Network’.

    Here you go

    Personally I’d prefer the politicians got a fucking grip. Currently we seem to be in the hands of Trump and a few sane people in the US and UK. And the Visigrad Four…gawd bless ’em

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Spawny Get says:

    For the lolz

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Spawny Get says:

    Re. The Visigrad Four

    Liked by 2 people

  37. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Jean-Claude, they are coming for you.

    Like

  38. Farm Boy says:

    You’d think the mainstream national media — or at least the local media — would be all over this story, particularly given that this is the first arrest of any student in connection with the past several weeks of unrest on campus. Can you imagine the reaction by the fake-news media if dozens of conservative college students spent hours yelling at three Muslim speakers, and one student ultimately got arrested on an assault charge?

    But as of 1:30 p.m. today (Evergreen time), when this is being posted, apparently nothing has been published by any news outlet concerning the June 9 arrest, not even by local news outlets. Not by The Olympian (its most recent article on Evergreen, by Lisa Pemberton, appeared on June 8). Not by the Seattle Times (its most recent article on Evergreen, by Katherine Long, appeared on June 10). Not even by one of the two student newspapers (the Daily Evergreen and the Cooper Point Journal)!

    https://thebadger14.wordpress.com/2017/06/11/christians/

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Farm Boy says:

    The Innovation Center for U.S. Dairy conducted a survey of more than 1,000 adults 18 and over in April of this year. They uncovered some shocking facts about how people think about – and drink – milk.

    First off, 48% of respondents said that they aren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from. Um, guys, it comes from cows – and not just the brown kind.

    Still, 7% of people – and remember, this survey talked to actual, grown-up adults – still think that chocolate milk only comes from brown cows. Actually, chocolate milk gets its flavor and color from cocoa beans.

    http://hotair.com/archives/2017/06/15/endgame-seven-percent-americans-think-chocolate-milk-comes-brown-cows/

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Farm Boy says:

    Evergreen State College, which has descended into chaos recently, is doubling down on social justice, with a new masters program to train the next generation of progressive teachers—and promises of jobs for graduates.

    “Teacher candidates here are immersed in social justice, informed by our conceptual framework,” reads the official page. “You will tackle questions of policy and politics head-on, from the local to national level. You will strive to enact equity pedagogies and environments which support the learning of all children.”

    https://heatst.com/culture-wars/evergreen-state-is-launching-a-masters-in-social-justice-program-with-guaranteed-jobs-for-graduates/

    Like

  41. Mgtowhorseman says:

    http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/opinion/womens-pages-are-back-1.4162900

    Cause the Wall Street Journal is to hard to read. Or a cook book.

    Like

  42. Mgtowhorseman says:

    And my comment about women making themselves ugly on purpose.

    The above of six females and two of indeterminate gender.

    A few might have been otherwise passable but for the hair, weight and attitude.
    How much b.s. tolerence have they foresaken in pretty trashed.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Just shut down the whole campus. It is not worth saving.

    As for chocolate milk, I always thought that it came from chocolate cows. Very special, small, brown cows. That went to explaining why it always showed up in smaller containers. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Mgtowhorseman says:

    A comment at Dalrock’s sums up why it is doomed to spiral in.

    “Tarl says:
    June 15, 2017 at 6:38 pm
    “The message that I would deliver to critics is that I think we should embrace the ideal that every woman is free to choose whatever life she feels like she wants to live,”

    But every man shall not be free to choose whatever life he feels like he wants to live, oh my word no. He must man up and accept his responsibilities”

    Young men see it so why sign up for a life where everyone BUT you can do whatever they please.

    Nope. Work 20 hours a week for bed, bacon and booze and then fuck off for cars, camping and cartoons

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Yoda says:

    Yes, much attitude the women in the picture show.
    Attitude that relationship poison it is

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Mgtowhorseman says:

    Same discussion


    Frank K says:
    June 16, 2017 at 10:31 am
    “When I was attending church my fellow brothers tried over and over to hook me up with wall approaching single moms, just like they had with every other guy there. It absolutely disgusted me. ”

    If you can’t meet a nice girl at church, where can you meet one? If the best beta schlubs can hope for are single moms with a high N, then maybe bachelorhood is the best option.”

    True dat.

    So what is the feeding ground of the mythical NAWALT?

    Liked by 1 person

  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “What is the feeding ground of the typical NAWALT?”
    If I knew, I would go there and come back with a report. It may be a small island somewhere in the Aegean? Seriously, I have lost faith in all venues. Women have trashed them.

    Like

  48. Spawny Get says:

    Expect riots in London tonight. The media has been stirring up shit, the leftard thugs have been doing the same, the weather’s very warm.

    Also disMay just waved £5m in immediate aid to many people who just see the state as something to be threatened in order to extract cash. If not tonight, then tomorrow

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Yoda says:

    The Skittles candy company’s colorless campaign, meant to celebrate LGBTQ Pride Month, is being bashed and called a “poorly veiled white supremacist” stunt by social media users.

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/06/15/social-media-users-accuse-skittles-white-supremacy/

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Yoda says:

    At least kept green skittles could have

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Spawny Get says:

    This ain’t going to end well…

    Liked by 1 person

  52. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    There is no pleasing SJWs, is there? That should leave business with two wrds to say to them.

    Spawny Get,
    I see what you mean. It would be well for people to stay in as much as they can in the City this weekend.

    Like

  53. RichardP says:

    @fuzzie: ” I always thought that it came from chocolate cows.”

    One of the benefits of growing up around farmers is that you learn from first-hand experience where food does and does not come from.

    Then there is this: In high school, I picked up rocks after school and on weekends in a field a local farmer was preparing for crops. One Saturday he informed me that a (rather large) cow had fallen ill and was on the ground in front of its feed bin. He needed to clean the space the cow was on. I lookd on dumbfounded as he backed the tractor up behind the fallen cow, tied one end of a largish chain around the cows tail where it joined the backbone, tied the other end to the tractor, and pulled the cow out into the feedlot.

    What folks don’t know about cows. At least until they learn, like I did.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I always knew the chocolate cow story was a big fib, but went along because it’s funny.

    Like

  55. SFC Ton says:

    Most men’s lives are tough enough they already think God hates them. Then the church goes after them like my bulldog goes after diversity

    Like

  56. SFC Ton says:

    There are lots of nice girls at church and in the wide world

    Because they are nice doesn’t mean they want a beta in their bed

    Like

  57. Yoda says:

    A new post there is

    Like

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