“but feels bad and even a bit scary to call out women on their sins.”
It also feels bad and scary to identify to women the true nature of their temptations and desires, as Dalrock said about. Which isn’t the same as calling them out on their sins, and in fact I think is more difficult.
Most women will not accept that the reason they have hot sexy sex with hot sexy men is because they really, really want to and they really desire those men and DON’T desire their husbands or men who will actually have them as wives. Most women will not accept that they’ll do almost anything (including knowingly sin, including cheat on husbands, including engage in depravity, including shed all their self-respect) to get that hot sex.
When you show/tell women this, they go apoplectic, run to fainting couches, and reach for smelling salts. When you show them examples, they scream and shriek about how hateful/misogynistic you are. We saw this at the old Hooking Up Smart site. Women just can’t handle being told or shown this about themselves, and dissolve into puddles of writhing emotion. It’s really something to see, in real life as well as online.
What is the reason for this? Why can’t women face that they really want hot sex with bad boy types?
Well, many women do seem to admit this. Or perhaps, they don’t deny it. Especially in their twenties. Often people call these women sluts.
Other women, many of them churchian women, do deny it. But why? After all, society and churches have bent to their will almost completely over the last fifty years; why not this?
Perhaps the idea is that beta bux regime would collapse. Perhaps they, deep in their heart, know that in the bad boy is not a good long term bet. Perhaps they know that this desire is what sluts have very visibly, and act on it; nobody wants to be compared to sluts. For there seems to be a viscerally deep understanding of both sexes that sluts are not good; and one should not be one.
The problem with what the pastors are doing is coming from fear, however. They are afraid of women, and in particular afraid of confronting them about their sins. As Dalrock has said many times, it feels great to call out other men on their sins (real or imagined, doesn’t matter), but feels bad and even a bit scary to call out women on their sins. So you attack the men, no matter what — no matter who is sinning, you attack the men, because it feels good and right to do so, and attacking women for their sins makes you feel like an asshole. That’s the problem. Afraid to feel like an asshole for calling women out on their sins. It’s fear at the core.
“The degree of utter clueless ignorance that relgious leaders in the West have regarding women is kind of amazing. They have to be shutting their eyes and ears sometimes in order to not learn anything.”
“It’s based on being afraid to assign any blame, in terms of moral agency, on women. Sometimes they will admit that what women did was not proper, but if there is some man — ANY man — anywhere in the chain of causation, he will be blamed, and not the women. So, in 50SOG, even though the entire thing is invented by women and for women, they can find a man somewhere in the chain — someone who promoted the film, someone who funded it, someone who promoted the book deal and so on. Some man will be held responsible for it, and not the women who were actually reading and watching it — because a world where women are actually having moral agency and can commit seriously immoral sexual sins of their own accord and without a man being assigned principal, overriding, blame for the sins is absolutely terrifying for them — it is paralyzingly terrifying. They will not go there, no matter what. Much better to pretend that all men have control over how much, and in what way, women sin, so that they can feel safe that they can control this in their own women.”
“Folks, this is fundamentally based in fear. Absolute, terrifying fear. These “men” are cowards. They have no right to teach anyone, or to lead anyone, full stop.”
“What is the reason for this? Why can’t women face that they really want hot sex with bad boy types?”
I think it’s at least one of several things.
1) They cannot accept how shallow they are. Everyone says it, believes it: Women are just more moral, more spiritual, more nurturing and caring, and just all around better people than men are. Or at least that’s how the story goes. Women don’t want to acknowledge they just want to have lots of hot sex with very hot guys; that they engage in sexually depraved acts with those men that they would NEVER engage in with less attractive men, and that they love every minute of that sexual depravity. Because acknowledging that would shatter the illusion they have of themselves.
2) Tied into 1); women are terrified of two things: judgment and rejection. Admitting their enjoyment of sexual depravity with hot guys opens them up to judgment by lesser men, and ultimately rejection. And women just cannot have that. Women just cannot have men who they consider beneath them, judging them, passing judgment on them, and drawing conclusions about them based on past behavior and their verbal admissions. Women just cannot countenance these less attractive, “less than” men rejecting them. Women are absolutely petrified of this happening to them. It’s not just lesser men either – it’s their friends, it’s their families, it’s their parents… It’s everyone.
3) They know these hot guys are just for sex, and the less hot guys are for relationships. Sometimes, in rare flashes of honesty, women will say this.
This idea that women don’t like sex as much as men do and don’t want sex as much as men do is bullshit. Women’s sex drives are lower than men’s are, but women want sex with attractive men for different reasons than men want sex.
Women love cock, they love attractive men’s cocks. They love to fuck attractive men. They absolutely go sexually wild in the presence of a sexually attractive man. And most such women WILL fuck the guy. And why not? There’s absolutely no reason not to. There’s no downside except possibly an STD but most STDs can be cured or medically managed. She can keep it quiet and not discuss it, and no one but the involved men and her best friends will ever know. Pregnancy? Birth control pill is 99% effective.
The difference between transactional sex and validation sex is astonishing. Women in transactional sex will like it sometimes. But it is pedestrian, simple, rote, routine. In validation sex, you’ve got her literally bouncing on your cock. You’ve got her meeting you thrust for thrust. You see her throwing her head back in excitement. She digs her nails into your back. You’ve got her shrieking. She’s telling you to fuck her from behind. She’s sloppily sucking on your dick and balls, and loving every minute of it.
“Well, many women do seem to admit this. Or perhaps, they don’t deny it. Especially in their twenties. Often people call these women sluts.”
More and more women in their 20s are having sex with badboys, including Christian women. Whenever I see any single woman at my church, I presume she is not a virgin and that she’s had sex with at least one or two guys. She certainly isn’t dating/fucking any of the men at my church.
“Other women, many of them churchian women, do deny it. But why? After all, society and churches have bent to their will almost completely over the last fifty years; why not this?”
Even though everyone knows they’re sleeping around, they still deny it. They deny it because they don’t want you judging or rejecting them. And even if you’re judging and rejecting them, they don’t want you SAYING that you’re judging or rejecting them. Because as long as they don’t have to hear it, they’re ok with others thinking it. Plus – badboys don’t judge sluts, or reject sluts for being sluts. (They’ll reject sluts for being difficult or dramatic or conditioning sex or any other number of reasons, but not for promiscuity.)
Sluts deny this because they want to keep beings sluts, away from the cold, prying eyes of those who would judge and reject them – including the lesser men they’ll someday marry.
“Perhaps the idea is that beta bux regime would collapse. Perhaps they, deep in their heart, know that in the bad boy is not a good long term bet. Perhaps they know that this desire is what sluts have very visibly, and act on it; nobody wants to be compared to sluts. For there seems to be a viscerally deep understanding of both sexes that sluts are not good; and one should not be one.”
That’s part of it. They need the beta bux guys to wife them up when the carousel ride is over.
The other part of it is the mental/emotional pathologies that lead women to sluthood. I don’t think slutting in most cases causes the pathology. I think now it’s the other way around. I think that a lot of sluts get promiscuous because there’s some underlying mental or emotional issue leading them to it. Stopping the slutting would cause them to take a look at their mental/emotional pathologies, and that’s hard. It’s easier to use your sexual power to manipulate men into doing what you want and giving you stuff you want and need; than it is to get mentally and emotionally healthy.
People will not call out women on their sins. People will not confront women and call them out on the carpet on their sins. People won’t do it because they’re afraid of being called mean, judgmental, jerks, mean spirited, cold, cruel, and heartless.
Women won’t do it because they’re afraid they’ll get cut off from the herd. Notice when one woman gets called out how ALL women will close ranks around her – ALL Women, from the sluttiest to the most “holier than thou” women defend her. The Christian woman will defend the slut, the whore, the prostitute, the woman getting the abortion – because preserving and defending and remaining part of Team Woman is more important than adhering to any moral code. And, she wants and needs Team Woman to be there when SHE fucks up and turns out to be the slut, the whore, the prostitute….
Women will not call out women for having abortions. No one wants to punish women having abortions. Reason: Because that would impose a moral code upon her. That would suggest that what she did was wrong and injurious.
Men won’t call women out on their sins because they’re afraid they won’t get laid if they do. Men are afraid women will turn off the sex spigot if men start calling women out on their sins – any sins, not just sexual ones. Women almost always respond to any affront from men by refusing to have sex with them – whether that be a hookup, an FWB, a boyfriend or a husband. Women control and manipulate men with the constant threat of
“don’t you dare call me out, don’t you dare refuse me. If you do, no sex for you! Don’t you dare question me about anything, including my past. If you do, you’re just an insecure asshole and no sex for you! Don’t you dare judge me. You have no right to judge me. If you do try to judge me, no sex for you!”