Crap UK General Election

Just so you can avoid it, if you’re sane

Posted in Uncategorized
64 comments on “Crap UK General Election
  1. Spawny Get says:

    BBC say tories to LOSE 17 seats! No longer majority.

    I refused to answer the exit poll mongs, so don’t know if it’s right.

    Labour UP 34 seat


  2. Yoda says:

    When national security desire you do?
    Labour the solution it is?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yoda says:

    Difficult to believe anybody votes for Labour and Corbyn they do.
    But then people voted for Hillary they did

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Spawny Get says:

    So all the pollsters were wrong? Labour to take Tory seats, really?

    Meh, we’ll see.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Spawny Get says:

    If laba is the answer then it’s a catastrophically stupid question.

    I don’t know what happens if this is right and BREXIT is fucked over. I really don’t. But I won’t expand on that.


  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I would not listen to the BBC when it comes to predicting elections. They must have a terrible track record by now. However, if that does happen, calling this election will be the most politically suicidal thing anyone has done that I can remember. It would be literally snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

    Spawny Get,
    Please keep us posted as to our favorites. I know that some of these inept ones will get reelected but, it would be comforting to hear that a few of them won’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. molly says:

    Win or lose, May did everything possible to reduce the Conservatives’ lead. Her Manifesto was just a disaster.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. molly says:

    Like she bent over the tracks to tie a loose lace and a train disaster.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. molly says:

    (That’s what my dad said, heh heh)

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Spawny Get says:

    Looks like May will be gone as Tory leader, it was her and her advisors that wrote the shite manifesto

    Liked by 2 people

  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The only one that I could recognize as being in doubt was Shipley, who I believe, is Philip Davies seat and it looks like he has a seventy one percent chance of holding it. Not a whisper about WEP.


  12. Cill says:

    She’s got to go. They have to get away from the idea that it should be a woman.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Spawny Get says:

    First real result does not agree with exit poll swing


  14. Spawny Get says:

    Second one even bigger discrepancy in the good direction


  15. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    While she may have to go, anyone attempting to replace her seems to be worse, much worse. I don’t envy their choices.


  16. Cill says:

    Who can they go into coalition with? The Liberal Democrats want a second brexit referendum.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Spawny Get says:

    6 minutes ago
    HAHAHAHHA BBC pollsters now saying, going off the swings from Labour to the Tories in ewcstel and Sunderland could give the tories 80-100 seats.

    not so fucking happy now…… can see the color draining from there ad little faces

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Spawny Get says:

    Newcastle and Sunderland ^^^^^

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Spawny Get says:

    The scenarios they explored while the exit polls were considered reliable had no route to a majority government by coalition by anyone. So minority government.

    Exit poll guys winding their necks in bigly right now.

    BBC smiles faded a lot.


  20. Spawny Get says:

    SNP Salmond may lose his seat to Tories…

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Yoda says:

    SNP Salmond may lose his seat to Tories…

    Fish out of water he would be

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Yoda says:

    . BBC smiles faded a lot.

    Like this I do

    Liked by 4 people

  23. Cill says:

    What about Central London, Putney and them


  24. Yoda says:

    Yes, you read that right. Not billion but trillion. That’s $2,500,000,000,000 which India was expecting to be paid over the next 15 years by the Western nations – ie mainly the U.S. – as a bribe for pretending to decarbonize its economy in line with the U.N. Paris agreement.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    SNP Salmond may lose his seat to Tories…
    Fish out of water he would be.
    Bear food?

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Yoda says:

    Newcastle and Sunderland

    Once went to Newcastle and Sunderland I did

    Actually not that bad it was

    Liked by 2 people

  27. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic. The tl:dr version is that, on 24 hours notice, Banco Santander bought Banco Popular for a grand total of one, count ’em, euro.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Spawny Get says:

    Guardian’s Quitter
    2 minutes ago
    If there is one thing we can predict about British elections is you can’t predict British elections.
    The Europeans since time immemorial have found to their cost, the British are a bunch of cunts, and I love them for them for it


  29. Spawny Get says:

    Cill, early days yet. ‘nother hour or two and the results should start flooding in.


  30. Spawny Get says:

    Reasonable conversation on May’s chances as on going leader…Not shiny.


  31. Yoda says:

    A new regularly scheduled post there is

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Spawny Get says:

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Spawny Get says:

    Even when UKIP ran, their vote is way down. Fair enough, but what’s interesting is that in some cases they went from UKIP to Labour. May screwed it bigly.


  34. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    More off topic. Aaron Clarey wrote a piece for Linked In. I think he trying to set a cat among the pigeons. Worth reading.

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Spawny Get says:

    Nick Clegg and a bunch of SNP big names…gone baby, gone


  36. Spawny Get says:

    May is screwed. But the results are all over the place

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Cill says:

    Exit polls adjusted to Con 322 – Lab 261

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Cill says:

    Clegg lost his seat to Labour

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Cill says:

    Gummer, who helped May draft her manifesto, has lost his seat to Labour.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Farm Boy says:

    People might respect you if you have principles and actually believe in something. Let Ms. May learn this lesson

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Cill says:

    Forecast adjusted again. Now Con 318 – Lab 267

    Labour won Canterbury, which has been Conservative since World War 1

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Cill says:

    For an outright majority a party needs minimum 326 seats. BUT this is the UK and nothing is simple. You have to take away the 6 projected Sinn Fein seats because they (by their own choice) don’t attend the House of Commons. This leaves 322 seats required for a majority.

    On the projections the Conservatives will be 4 seats short of an outright majority. The difference could be made up by the Democratic Unionist Party of Northern Ireland who are projected to have 9 seats. Is such a coalition likely? Heaven only knows. Spawny might be able to throw some light on it but by the time he wakes up tomorrow the projections might prove to be way off the mark.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. molly says:

    Half a world away (waaaay down under) I am on tenterhooks!

    Liked by 2 people

  44. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That sounds painful and you have no arms to remove them.

    Liked by 3 people

  45. Cill says:

    FWIW the DUP is pro-Brexit.
    I think it’s the party founded by Ian Paisley though. Ian Paisley is fairly well (or should I say badly) remembered down under.

    Liked by 3 people

  46. Cill says:

    My guess is, the following will be a headline tomorrow:

    May gambled and lost after Cameron gambled and lost. The Tory party is starting to look look a fucking casino.

    Maybe not those exact words.

    Liked by 3 people

  47. Cill says:

    It’s official, Alex Salmon DOES lose his seat to the Conservative candidate.
    The things he said always made him seem more like a glib Welshman than a canny Scot to me.

    Liked by 2 people

  48. Cill says:

    Final figures won’t be far from these:
    Con 43% (+6%)
    Lab 40% (+10%)

    Ukip -11%

    Tony Blair formed a government on less than 43% and he and his supporters called it a major victory at the time. I think a Thatcher government had less than that too.

    The difference is, the Conservatives will find it harder to form a coalition?

    Liked by 1 person

  49. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that they would omit the F-word. Grammatically, it is superfluous.

    As badly as they managed things, it is fortunate for the Tories that they eked out a gain.

    Ian Paisley is remembered here too. A lot of us are descended from Irish.


  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I couldn’t wait, so I went looking. Jess Phillps keeps her seat 😦 But, Philip Davies keeps his too 🙂


  51. Spawny Get says:

    DUP is said to be a natural ally of the Tories. A eurosceptic one, I hear from locals.

    I just grabbed 4 hours of sleep. May do it again if they continue to talk mince about BREXIT change of tone.

    May is said to not intend to resign. Tories said to be fizzing with anger at her. Popcorn

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Spawny Get says:


  53. Spawny Get says:

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Spawny Get says:

    Liked by 1 person

  55. Spawny Get says:

    The Dave manifesto (not Camermong)

    Dave • 2 minutes ago
    OK, enough griping. That was fun, but what have we learned?

    1. May has the judgement and charisma of a stunned ferret. She needs to go now.
    2. The replacement must have ,erm, judgement and charisma. So that’s Hammond and Rudd out, whatever the wets think
    3. There will be another election in 6-12 months. The Tories need that new leader before conference season. We all like David Davis but he is too easily marked down as an old school nasty party Tory. I’m going to say it……. BORIS!!!!! Yes, I know the risks, but you need to fight populism with populism
    4. DUP supported Brexit. That one liner from Foster this morning does not equal “sign me up to EU-light with a side order of immigrants from Italy and add a nice tip to my bill”. These are real conservatives. She means get this shit done and stop faffing.
    5. Forget the yoof vote. Yes, it had some effect this time but they won’t be back for Steptoe next time if you actually have a social media plan, call the next election in December and…
    6. …the Tories actually have a manifesto people can vote for. Real conservative policies. Catch Jihadhis and kill them. Deport spongers. Make tax evaders (especially jug-earred ones) pay their taxes. Ensure that the borders are secure and not leaking like a sieve. That sort of thing. Don’t soak pensioners and students while giving tax breaks to bankers. That’s just dumb.
    7. I’m going to restate point 6 for the benefit of CCHQ. Fire your SPADs and policy wonks. They know nothing about life, the electorate or how to run a fucking bath. LISTEN to your constituency associations and they will tell you what the people want. After two terrorist attacks in the middle of an election campaign you arseholes decided that the right response was to say “Strong and Stable” repeatedly and do fuck all. WRONG ANSWER. The people – you know, those people who vote in elections – wanted re-assurance, leadership, action. You came up with NOTHING!!! That is where you blew this election. You could have had a landslide but what did you do; you presided over the arrest of more people for harsh tweets than for aiding and abetting terrorists. The incompetence is beyond parody.

    Liked by 3 people

  56. Yoda says:

    Ms. May take the opportunity to become a fertilizer salesman she should

    Liked by 2 people

  57. Farm Boy says:

    This is the “Crap UK General Election” by the way.

    Angela Merkel is “Up scheisse creek with out a paddle”. Ms. May joins her

    Liked by 1 person

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