Stephanie previously stated,
Speaking of “Knowing what it is to be a bloke,” ….. this is an interesting thread of comments and concerns over young adult women who are *chaste* *modest* and *Christian* and yet are having a very hard time finding a marriage partner for some unknown reason.
These women know what it is like to be an invisible man:
I thought about it after listening to Stefan’s talk with the 28 yr old, never married but WANTS to be married Christian woman (not fat)… I counted up 19 couples that my husband and I saw get married in college. It really needs to be stressed though that in our experience of seeing all these Christian couples find each other, MOST and I really do mean most, of them found their life partner in some kind of religious group on campus.
I feel sorry for Elspeth, she’s been complaining about this problem for the 3 1/2 years I’ve been reading the manosphere. But she says her daughters are still going to her church that she remarks has ZERO prospects for them (all the young adults “vanish” after high school).
That was my church when I was 18 as well. And when I saw that there were like 6 people from high school that stayed around (and mostly girls and no prospects really), I LEFT. I traveled all around town to about 9 different churches during that time to find a good college group where there were LOTS of singles my age. It really does take a good bit of discernment of if you’re in the right place at the right time (why stay where there are ZERO prospects for yourself?).
This is a bit of an odd phenomenon. Probably the largest aspect is that what was once long ago a primary market for people to meet has now become a very small market. It is much more difficult to find the product that you want in such a market. What used to just happen now takes effort and clever planning. This is apparently what Stephanie did.
This is the start of a series analyzing this situation. It is intellectually interesting to try to figure out what the problems are along with possible solutions. Though I do wonder if people will implement my proposed solutions.
I will say that it would have been appreciated if the young women had put in some effort. Placing all of the onus on the fella to make things happen gets old fast, leading a guy to consider other uses for his time and resources. Put in some effort young women.
So put on your thinking cap, as these issues will be dissected in this series with INTJ precision.
Addendum by Deti,
“This is a bit of an odd phenomenon. Probably the largest aspect is that what was once long ago a primary market for people to meet has now become a very small market. It is much more difficult to find the product that you want in such a market. What used to just happen now takes effort and clever planning. This is apparently what Stephanie did.”
“This is the start of a series analyzing this situation. It is intellectually interesting to try to figure out what the problems are along with possible solutions. Though I do wonder if people will implement my proposed solutions.”
I’m probably getting ahead of you. And you’ve seen my thoughts and those of others. Let me share them here:
First, we all need to keep in mind the context in which this is being discussed. The population under discussion is chaste Christian women in the US who are marriage minded and who are at least TRYING to remain chaste and making a good faith, hard effort to avoid having premarital sex. That’s a very different population from what’s usually discussed, which are either
(1) hardcore cock carousel riders/sluts, who go home with a different guy about every month, and change out men like toothbrushes; or
(2) the typical “script followers” who practice garden variety serial monogamy: Lose virginity to first serious Boyfriend in high school, have a couple serious ones in college with a few flings and one nighters interspersed in there, then grad school where there is The One (who later is not), and then work, with a few more false starts for a few years, and parachuting into marriage to a beta cuck at age 28 who she divorces at 39 with two kids. Red Pill 101.
Keep all that in mind based on the quote you’ve used. That tiny population of chaste Christian women is really not the one you and this commentariat is likely to address.
Iv’e moderated my views a bit on this issue. I have said that women can pretty much get whatever they want when they want. I’ve said that because the system is set up for just that objective, to get women what they want, be it one nighters to lifelong marriage to lifetime support after divorcing. I’ve also said that because it’s been my experience. I now think that’s a regional thing. Where I’m from (the American Midwest) that’s how it usually plays out. She might not marry the richest or hottest man. She might not marry the kindest man. But if it’s marriage she wants, she can get married, and usually to a man of her rough SMV counterpart or a bit higher. From reports, this is just not the experience women are reporting at least in the manosphere.
I have no reason to believe Elspeth is being dishonest or disingenuous here. I believe her daughters have had a bad time trying to find suitable, marriageable, sexually attractive men. I believe that her daughters and girls like them are going to have it even rougher than unchaste, promiscuous women. And that is going to continue for a long time. The best things that small population of women can do are
(1) enlist help from all quarters: Fathers, brothers, uncles, other relatives, and extended family and friends in the network of like minded people raising chaste Christian men and women.
(2) Be much more proactive in putting themselves out there in meeting chaste Christian men, and in being a wee bit more forward and (I hate this word, but i’ll use it) INTENTIONAL in meeting and talking to men. These chaste Christian men need to be hit over the head with IOI 2 x 4s. They need assurances they aren’t going to be falsely accused of anything or used or nuked in church. They need assurances that if she’s not interested it will end quickly and DISCREETLY. They also need to be shown that the women in front of them are truly sexually attracted to them, and shown in a way that is crystal clear.
3) Realize that what they want is pretty much the same thing as their nonChristian peers do. They want to meet and marry confident, dominant, good looking, competent men with a future and a mission who will not put up with bullshit. That’s a HUGE problem, because there are almost no men like this in American churches today. And if they are, they have the pick of the litter.
4) Improve their physical appearances and don’t neglect them. Chaste Christian men want pretty, thin, nonbitchy women with as little baggage and as few hangups as possible.