While we are seeing more and more women choosing not to marry and it’s becoming less of a stigma to be on your own, my mother can actually rest easy. While I have this “picky” standard, studies have actually shown that women with post-graduate educations are more likely to get married than less educated women. Additionally, we’re more likely to have marriages last 20+ years. This is in stark contrast to what we’ve been told and what has happened historically for educated women. Part of me wonders if it is because women are less likely to marry just because it is what they are “supposed” to do. Maybe my pickiness of not wanting to share my space is actually a benefit that I’ve been taught to suppress
However, I’m not giving myself too much hope. I am a feminist, social justice warrior and b*tch with a big forehead. It’s part of my charm. If it happens for me, great. If it doesn’t, great. I love my life right now and I’m not going to let any random man, or group of men, disrupt it.
And why would she not love her life right now? Lots of attention, validation, enough money for herself; what is not to like?
However, there is a hamster running in overdrive. She states “While I have this “picky” standard, studies have actually shown that women with post-graduate educations are more likely to get married than less educated women.” This is true enough. However, the comparison is to a class of women who used to get married, but now have fallen on hard times in that and many other departments. Consider Charles Murray’s book Coming Apart,
Murray describes several differences he sees forming between and causing two emerging classes—the New Upper Class and the New Lower class—among which are differences in or lack thereof in regards to religiosity, work ethic, industriousness, family, etc. Murray goes on to provide evidence that religiosity, work ethic, industriousness, family, etc., have either remained strong or have weakened minimally in the New Upper Class, whereas these same attributes have either weakened substantially or have become almost nonexistent in the New Lower Class.
Much of his argument is centered on a notion of self-selective sorting that began in the 1960s and 1970s, when he argues that cognitive ability became the essential predictor of professional and financial success, and people overwhelmingly began marrying others in the same cognitive stratum and living in areas surrounded largely by others in that same stratum, leading to not only an exacerbation of existing economic divides, but an unprecedented sociocultural divide that had not existed before in America.
Of particular interest is the fact that marriage is not really in the cards for many in the non-educated class. So, comparing your educated class’ marriage rate to a class who’s rate has fallen off of a cliff should not be very comforting to her.
She goes on to say,”This is in stark contrast to what we’ve been told and what has happened historically for educated women.” Yes, it might be in stark contrast. But there is more going on. Men historically have never really cared for the women that high education is likely to produce, that is, the opinionated, dominant, demanding, driven women. Men still don’t like the type. Yet, in the end, many do actually pair up with the type, because since there are very few real feminine women around, “why not marry one with an income” they think. Even if there is a divorce, he will probably do fine, as she has an income. In the end, are either spouse in such a marriage happy?
She also states, “Maybe my pickiness of not wanting to share my space is actually a benefit that I’ve been taught to suppress”. That is real marriage material, right there.
“I am a feminist, social justice warrior and b*tch with a big forehead.” I wonder how much serious attention she receives…
“I love my life right now and I’m not going to let any random man, or group of men, disrupt it.” Perhaps a non-random man would be good. Perhaps one that she has considered carefully with respect to being a good husband and father.
So what happens when baby rabies hits?