Farm Boy’s post about the openly cuckolded “Adam” reminded me of real life examples of children damaged by the behavior of high #N solo mothers. The sons of such mothers have no counter-balance to measure women by. Rua is one such son. Rua grew up with no positive male role model at all.
Rua’s mother received Sole Parent Support from the Government, which she supplemented with street prostitution to fund her drug habit. She worked the sleazy end of the prostitution market where there is low demand and meagre pickings. At the end of the day she would often beat Rua up. He grew up thinking this was the way the world worked. The strong beat up on the weak because they can.
Rua had reached young adulthood by the time I first met him. I saw hatred and suspicion in his eyes. He had seen too much of the worst of men. He didn’t talk much. It later became evident that he was touch-and-go violent.
If a bloke isn’t interested in anything I do, I can’t be of much use to him. There’s no sense in wasting time on the ones who are clearly beyond my reach. If they show interest in something I do, I teach them how it is done. Rua showed no interest, but there was something about him that caused me to persist with him.
Then suddenly like turning on a switch, he focused on the butchering that I do. He learned the names of the various cuts of meat and how to slice them out. Now he works as a butcher. He still doesn’t talk much but he’s quietly respectful of his boss and other older men, a big change for him.
These young blokes can learn from leg-pulling. Some of them get angry when they are the butt of humor, even when it’s friendly.
When I visited Rua at his workplace, it was obvious that he wanted to know what I thought of his workmanship. Instead of telling him it was top quality (which it was) I offered to help him with the butchering so most of the cuts would have a more professional look. Straight off the cuff he said “but you couldn’t keep up with the speed of my blade, bro”. It was his first attempt to leg-pull back at me – hardly the most scintillating wit in the world but good enough for a laugh at the time.
With some more help, Rua might do well in life. He might even end up with his own business. He has already topped $1000 in savings, and I didn’t pull his leg about that one. It’s huge by the standards he grew up with. Not long ago, savings would have been an alien concept to him.
Out of respect for Rua’s privacy, I have omitted the most ugly aspects of his history and deliberately falsified some of the detail. I hope I’ve left enough to show, in general terms, that he was the victim of abuse and neglect by a deadbeat solo mother.
Looking at the general situation:
To qualify for Sole Parent Support, a New Zealand parent must be (a) aged 20 or older, (b) without adequate financial support, and (c) not in a relationship. So, of course, the biological father must be absent.
This system is not the best for children, who are more likely to be abused when the biological father does not live with the family: “Families living with a man who was not the biological father of all the children in the home, and families living without a man in the home, were significantly more likely to be contacted by Child Protection Services compared to families in which the biological father of all the children lived with the mother“.
There’s also a higher incidence of neglect and abuse in single parent households:
And finally, back to Rua:
Women had nothing to do with his improvement. He is a real-life example of a man’s change for the better with help from his fellow man.
My interaction with women is the one thing I do that interests all of these young blokes. There are times when I can almost smell the curiosity radiating out of them. They see, in me, a man who wouldn’t be living alone had I not chosen to do so.
I have explained to Rua the basics of red pill and MGTOW (drawing mostly from material on this blog). He needs to be even more careful than most to reject anything from his life that might wreck his chances. A typical woman would do just that.
He has chosen to live the life of a MGHOW. I’m quietly hoping he will stay the course. It would be best for everybody if he does.