An Interesting New Relationship Dynamic


Sometimes there really is something new under the sun.  I know two young couples with both members highly educated who have deliberately opted for what would normally be considered reversed roles.

Both of the fellas are highly qualified, but have trouble obtaining work in their field, especially in the very scenic rural locales that they desire.  On the other hand, the gals ride to the rescue with their woman based affirmative action jobs in the same scenic rural locales.  So we have the women with full time jobs, future pension, etc., while the guys get by typically on seasonal work (sometimes having to go elsewhere for even that).

This situation is acknowledged by all; furthermore they are all seemingly comfortable with it.  I do know that in generations past, this type of situation would have been considered to be odd.  I wonder if it still is considered to be odd.  What do you think?

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Posted in economy, FarmBoy, HowTo, Marriage
68 comments on “An Interesting New Relationship Dynamic
  1. Yoda says:

    Or perhaps something new under the sun there is not

    Liked by 1 person

  2. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t believe it can last. Hypergamy will raise its ugly head and the husbands will get dumped. Given the economy has been bent out of shape like a pretzel to advance women, women will still want men of superior status and earnings to them.
    I wonder how many marriages affirmative action has killed?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Farm Boy says:

    Yes, indeed. I wonder how it will last over time. It might seem OK now, but later?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Farm Boy says:

    Clearly this is an attempt to adapt to today’s upside down world. I wonder how many other contrivances there are out there…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yoda says:

    Vote to remove the very unbecoming Ms. May picture I do

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mgtowhorseman says:

    Bear called it. Hypergamy plus exposure to alphas at work (the only kind to land a job in affirmative action ville)
    I give it a year, two tops.

    And the actual killer of SAHDs?
    Morning.

    Everyone Hates getting out of bed in the morning
    especially to go to work.
    Women always have the option of SAHW in the back of their minds especially when that alarm goes of at 700 am.
    First time that guy sleeps in or she sees him in pajamas as she goes to work. WHAM! Why do I….and He.. oooo.

    Course men are programmed to just suck it up. get up. be useful. its what men do. So the thought never crosses our minds. Then again Saturday mornings…disturb at your own risk.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I have seen this work, but both sides of the couple have to be pretty aware that natural instincts are working against it. She has to not resent being the breadwinner, he has to not feel emasculated. Hopefully in time both will get a job. I see the age of affirmative action coming to an end, perhaps even swiftly so in the Trump era. He seems to be a merit guy, which I wholeheartedly concur — best person for the job! That’s what actually works best in the end for the company, the employees, the consumer.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Since Yoda brought it up, I concur. In all fairness, Theresa May is that unpleasant to look at. She does remind of my mother’s story of California Flying Snails. Snails are not indigenous to California. The French brought them to eat as escargot and they got away. They were a little too ecologically successful but bred down in size. Whenever my mother was in the garden and found one, she sent it flying to a neighbor’s yard who had lost her favor.
    Could that explain the pained expression on her face?

    Like

  9. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It is hard to imagine snails getting away. I think that the French were not too vigilant.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Actually another couple I knew in this scenario did well UNTIL both their high flying real estate jobs got hit hard by the bubble bursting (her in titles, him in realty) right after they married and had a child (she had a teen son from a previous marriage, but they had been a common law family since the boy was 3, married a year before baby.) They were the “it” power couple it seemed, but once baby arrived he became SAHD and she seemed unable to respect him. It was a one two blow, baby plus sudden drop in income and a short sale on their fancy house bought at the top of the market for a move into a condo that had been a rental. She left him pretty abruptly, I suspect for a branch swing but that’s just a hunch. Her ex is an awesome guy too, fit, buff, very smart, very motivated. He went back to biz school, has remarried, and they just welcomed a baby girl. I wonder what she’s up to, Cougaring it in the bars perhaps? She was 9 years older and hitting the wall fast at that point. Who knows! Bad choices…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Seen today on Gab, someone said if others don’t have to follow the law, why should they? And they said they would tell the powers to be to stick it until laws are enforced all around, not just on select targets (usually natural born citizens with something worth taking!)

    Liked by 2 people

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    That is the problem with monkey branching at that level. Divorce wrecks capital preservation. Could it be that her reputation caught up with her?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I read a story about an immigrant couple. They were both doctors back home but, once here, had to go back to school to be accredited. He kept working to keep the house afloat while she went to school. That allowed her to make the real money first. I don’t think that I have to tell you the rest of it.

    Like

  14. Ame says:

    i know two couples where this has worked.

    couple 1 – she’s been the main breadwinner, and they’ve made family decisions based on her career. but she leaves it all outside the home and marriage. inside the home, he’s the boss. she didn’t progress in her career b/c it’s only what she wanted, but he supported her, too. he’s kinda eclectic and has done many various and sometimes weird things, but she has always respected him and supported him. they have one son who recently married and is very successful in his career.

    couple 2 – she’s the aggressive, career woman, and he’s the guy who has no ambition. she’s very successful, and he still does the same ol’ same ol’. they seem to be happy, but she’s also obsessed with fifty shades of gray. they, too, have one son who will probably forever be a momma’s boy, still lives at home and is in his mid 20’s, only works p/t b/c that’s ‘all he can handle,’ but doesn’t have any disabilities of any kind. they probably stay together b/c of family and social circles that demand it.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It could work, but it would take a woman that can rein in her emotions with her conscious mind and it should be done for a limited time for mutually agreed reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ame says:

    IF the marriage is set up to where the husband is the boss … then the parameters of such an arrangement should be made by him. if he has and maintains his frame, it can work. but i think it would take a strong man with a certain personality to do it … which would explain why there are so few.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. RichardP says:

    ” … what would normally be considered reversed roles.”

    What sense would that phrase make, “reversed roles”, for the thousands of years prior to the mid 1700s when the Industrial Revolution began and led to our current setup, and when birth control was far less effective than today? Seriously – what guy could be a stay at home dad, and maybe do some blacksmithing out back, while his wife drove the oxen as they plowed the field?

    I’ve mentioned before that my father’s parents operated a small farm – inherited from her parents. Water from a well (piped to the house) and an outhouse for a bathroom. Barns and livestock and cutting hay with a scyth. I spent enough time with them when I was younger to know that both husband and wife were busy from sunup to sundown and beyond. I also grew up in a farming community (north of Seattle). So I have a little idea of what life was like for thousands of years before the Industrial Revolution. Life is hard (see 2nd Law of Thermodynamics), and everybody in the family had jobs to do if the family was going to be successful.

    It is only a recent thing in history that a wife can stay at home with more idle time than she knows what to do with while husband goes off to the cubicle. And so it can only be a recent thing for wives to discover that they resent it when the roles are reversed (although I don’t think he would be as idle as she in general; guys tinker when there is nothing else to do). So I’m left wondering where this resentment comes from and what it represents (evolutionary speaking). For most of human history, neither women nor men have had much idle time, if any. Did the men and women of yesteryear resent not having idle time as the women of today do when “normal” (???) roles are reversed (viewing “normal” through a 10,000 year old lens)?

    And the single women who must go to work in order to pay the rent. Whom do they resent, since there is no husband to be the scapegoat? And what are the implications of this single woman resenting her husband if she has to keep working after they are married. She worked before she was married. She worked after she was married. Work is work. What inspires the resentment that was lacking before she was married, but arises after she is married. Nature? Nurture (expectations passed on to her by society)?

    All questions I have been curious about for some time.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that single women would blame the absent, theoretical husband. That would take quite a leap, but hamsters are powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Spawny Get says:

    The snail stays till after the meeting with the Trumpinator at least. I hope he sticks his metaphorical boot up ‘er ‘arris far enough for her to understand that she needs to DO SOMETHING. This delay just encourages more vexatious litigation and more bile and lies. Just GET OUT.

    Trump would have been out of the EU by today (under a week after inauguration). The EU would have been scurrying around to get a place in the queue to kiss his arse.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    As it was not Obama’s place to go over there and twist the arm of the Queen, it is not Donald Trump’s place to say “boo” to her about Brexit. This whole issue is about sovereignty. What he can do is offer our nation’s full support.
    I don’t think Theresa May wants to be a California Flying Snail.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Spawny Get says:

    Yay! The full story told by Jim / Internet Aristocrat / Mister Metokur

    Like

  22. happyhousewifey says:

    In a farm situation, everyone worked as hard as they could, so men worked harder, and wives were aware of their need for their husbands. They still divided tasks according to competency.

    I think much more than hypergamy, being distached from ones children causes the resentment. Women should be able to breastfeed for a long time. Those hormones are powerful hamster-tamers. It used to be possible because everyone worked around the home. Also, young children need their mothers and older ones need their fathers more. Mothers and fathers are just so very different. Every healthy normal couple I know, younger kids prefer mommy and older ones prefer daddy. We just meet different needs.
    As far as hypergamy goes, depending on the home situation, the stay home person will be eityer swamped with housework and crying little ones and work much harder and be too tired to take proper care of themselves, or will be relaxed and calm and therefore better able to present their best self.

    I know some couples with these househusbands and they have always lasted as long as I knew them. They all hired housekeepers though and sent kids off to daycare or preschool and hired babysitters just to make it easier.

    Liked by 4 people

  23. happyhousewifey says:

    … so the men were well-rested and had time to exercise and dress nice.

    Like

  24. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    For Yoda, these Russian kids are not without talent but, they are on a very low budget.

    I can hear John Williams groaning.

    Like

  25. Spawny Get says:

    For those yet unable to appreciate the depth of genius that is Jeremy £3Tramp Corbyn the labour leader

    Labour has elected a remain supporter who described Brexit as ‘a pile of shit’ to fight the Stoke by-election in one of the most Eurosceptic areas in Britain…

    That’s going to work well then….Nuttal to be UKIP’s next MP and then the floodgates are going to open

    Liked by 1 person

  26. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    We can but hope. I have to say, that was dumb on Labour’s part.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Spawny Get says:

    Gyna-power unleashed

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Spawny Get says:

    Will they ever learn?

    Liked by 1 person

  29. SFC Ton says:

    Hypergammy is about more then money and depends on which stage of life the woman is in

    So her hypergammy might kick in and she leave her husband for a rich dude or maybe it will kick in and she leave him for a meth dealer. Who knows?

    I will say it’s see the men doing what they want as neutral in nature. He could be doing from a position of strong frame, living as he wants or doing it like a whiny bitch.

    Big difference between the 2

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Spawny Get says:

    I’ve never considered curling much of a sport. But with cars, trucks, cop cars and snow ploughs? Maybe
    [video src="http://newsandbusiness.rogersdigitalmedia.com.edgesuite.net/videos/13639244001/201612/2850/13639244001_5238239279001_5238231028001.mp4" /]

    Like

  31. Spawny Get says:

    Made oi larf, Oi tell ee

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Spawny Get says:

    Timmy Farron lead dweeb of the limpdumbs

    Like

  33. Spawny Get says:

    Just watched ABBC’s Daily Politics with two lawyers on that had me laughing. When a playable clip is made available I’ll post it.

    But here’s the effect, a classic (you can watch from 3:40 if you want)

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Spawny Get says:

    Stefan Molyneux had a show about Trump Derangement Syndrome which made it clear that there is academic research that supports the claim that 3+ million illegal votes could have been made.

    Like

  35. SFC Ton says:

    We don’t even know how many illegals are here, but it could be as high as 30 million. If 10% of that votes you are at 3 million and you know illegals are not going to vote for the guy who wants to deport them

    Liked by 3 people

  36. Spawny Get says:

    0bama (who?) told them to go and vote, didn’t he?

    Liked by 3 people

  37. Spawny Get says:

    Ton, I dare you

    it’s just over 30 seconds long
    *autistic screeching* Reeeeee

    Like

  38. SFC Ton says:

    LOL what the fuck…..

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Spawny Get says:

    I’m still laughing

    Like

  40. Spawny Get says:

    See, I appreciate the bikers turning up to the Trumpination and scaring off many of the true facists, the antifa thugs. I appreciate the cops’ new determination to prosecute said thugs on charges with up to ten years in jail / $25000.

    But this person (male or female IDK) just made this SJW wankathon look ridiculous and provided an internet clip that will live forever. He/She has just made tens of thousands of normies think twice about SJWs being cool.

    There’re all kinds of battles on multiple fronts…heart warming

    Liked by 5 people

  41. Spawns I do think there’s advantage in a “rip off the bandaid” approach to Brexit. Hopefully T will suggest she just do it asap, get to the other side and be done.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Yoda says:

    Most unappealing

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Ame says:

    they’re destroying the color pink.

    Liked by 3 people

  44. Spawny Get says:

    I’m liking the Donald on that feed ^^^
    Not so optimistic about Useless May

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Spawny Get says:

    May isn’t too bad. So far.

    ABBC was shite and now we have another cunt Brit shitstirring…absolute wankers

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Spawny Get says:

    Comment on the ABBC question

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Spawny Get says:

    And there’s more

    Like

  48. Spawny, forgive my not knowing, but is it differences in the way your govt. works that is causing the delay? Does she have the authority to say, “Brexit is underway NOW.”?

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Spawny Get says:

    May hasn’t the power of a President, no. But there’s nothing stopping her from trying to be a leader…

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Spawny Get says:

    The recent supreme court ruling says that she needs the permission of parliament to invoke A50. The House of Commons (elected) probably isn’t an issue (laba would be annihilated if it failed and a GE was called). The House of Lords? Not elected, but…constitutionally to go against the referendum as an unelected house????? Not a good look. The HoL needs reform, this might be the issue to force that (good! but delays to brexit BAD)

    A50 – Article 50 – the EU exit trigger

    Liked by 2 people

  51. Spawny Get says:

    The incoming US ambassador to the EU 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  52. Yoda says:

    Over Sweden this would be.
    Know what it is I do not

    Liked by 2 people

  53. Yoda says:

    A new post there is

    Like

  54. Yoda says:

    Liked by 1 person

  55. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It is Friday and I hope that Tarn bait might work.

    Has anyone heard from her? I think she has been on radio silence since before Christmas.

    Liked by 2 people

  56. Ame says:

    miss Tarn and Liz 😦

    Liked by 3 people

  57. Yoda says:

    Agree with Ame I do

    Liked by 3 people

  58. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    On Yoda’s unidentified atmospheric event at 11:51pm, could it be a masive communal smoke ring from a thousand hookahs?

    Liked by 1 person

  59. SFC Ton says:

    The photo of the dog has been touched up but with that said

    It pretty much sums up Girl. 200 pounds of hate in a 100 pound bag. Not…. Doesn’t trust strangers or any such but raw blood lust for anything outside the family

    She was owned by drug dealers; she was shot twice when her stash house was robbed and she still chased the rip and run crew out. I miss rescuing the un-rescuables but I want sons and my name to be projected into the future more

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Spawny Get says:

    Fuzzie, no I haven’t.

    Like

  61. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I haven’t seen her anywhere else. It is like she cut off the internet completely.

    Like

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