Season of Divorce


Here is an interesting article,

Unbeknownst to me, family lawyers apparently call January “divorce month.” As the Christmas tree is thrown out and the wrapping paper cleared away, the empty Champagne bottles taken out behind the garage, Google searches for terms like “divorce lawyer” and “file for divorce” spike. Many of the people researching how to untie the knot will probably not do so. But some will.

I wonder why divorce is so prominent in January.  Is it because the excitement of Christmas is past, and people are cooped up together?

Brad Wilcox and Samuel Sturgeon of the Institute for Family Studies suggest that there might be good reason to hold off, particularly if you have kids. Of course, there might be good reason not to hold off! But the majority of divorces involving kids don’t come from “high conflict” marriages or situations involving abuse; Wilcox and Sturgeon point to data indicating that most divorces come from couples who are still basically functioning as parents.

I have always wondered about those kinds of divorces.  Things don’t seem so bad.  Probably they are not.  But mountains out of mole-hills must be made.  I just wonder why people just can’t get along.

Perhaps it is because the present situation is not just not as good as hoped for.  “I deserve more, and the way to get it is to be free”.

But if your parents are basically civil to each other, divorce could come as an unwelcome surprise.  Our parents, our family unit, are the first and most bedrock fact of our lives. Suddenly breaking that apart — for no reason apparent to the children involved — shakes a faith in the world that will never be rebuilt in quite the same way.

How many parents truly think through what they are potentially doing to their children?  I have known many divorcing couples over the years, and one very odd aspect that occurs regularly is that one can’t articulate what the problem is.  This always seemed odd to me.  Perhaps in some cases it is because the problem is such that the person does not really want to mention it due to it being selfish in nature.

Anyway, think of the chilllddrennn!

Small wonder, then, that the children of divorce tend to have worse outcomes on various measures than the children whose parents stay together: According to Wilcox and Sturgeon, “Divorce typically doubles or triples the odds that children will experience depression, delinquency, school failure, or future relationship difficulties.”

This is sad.  What to do?  The first thing to do if you are actually divorcing is for the parents to work together for the sake of the children.  So many times I see parents using the children as pawns to hurt the other parent.  I just can’t see how parents do this.  But they do.  Surprisingly they are not called out on it often from what I have seen.  Perhaps these people avoid people who might do so.  Lowlifes – Unite!

We have a script in our heads about what divorce does, much of it lifted from the divorce revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. Two people meet … they fall in love … they develop irreconcilable differences, or they grow apart, and must split so that at least one of the parties can develop into their truest, highest self.

That truest, highest self stuff seems like a cop-out.  How many post divorcees actually really do go onto such.  Especially the ones who are the driving force in the divorce.  Very often, the ones so eager for the divorce have some issue that is holding them back, marriage or not.  Perhaps these issue(s)  that is where the focus should be.

But more recent research suggests a very different truth about happiness. As Daniel Gilbert argues in the brilliant book “Stumbling on Happiness,” unless our circumstances are truly unbearable, our brains will seek to find their natural level of happiness, like floodwater evening out across a plain. Whatever we are stuck with … whatever we commit to … we will find ways to make it work — and we will be just as happy with it as we would have been with any other outcome.

That is a very interesting theory.  Two thoughts come out it: how can one increase their happiness within such a framework, and do the various disorders associated with so many modern day people preclude this system from working on those people?

So if one is given lemons, make lemon-aid.

Under this theory, all other forces being equal, those who avoid divorce end up with the same long-term level of happiness that they would have had post-divorce … and they skip the short-term financial and emotional pains of separation.

Perhaps so.  But still I wonder if this would not be true on both the personal and the marriage levels if one person has a personality disorder.

So what to do?  When considering divorce, try to figure out what the real issues are.  This, of course, is easier said than done (and many therapists are a hindrance in this regard, just peruse Dalrock’s posts).  With root cause(s) in hand, get to work on the problems.  Yes, once again, easier said than done.

 

 

 

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Posted in HowTo, Lies, Marriage
139 comments on “Season of Divorce
  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Considering that it is anywhere from seventy to eighty percent of divorces that are initiated by women, there is very little men can do in defense, red pill notwithstanding. Seeing Brad get dumped by Angelina spoke volumes to me. What could he do to get more attractive? Women use rejection to inflate their ego. I guess this does not stop with marriage.
    But, it should.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Cill says:

    The solution for men is fairly simple. If you’ve never been married or in LTR, stay single. If you’re divorced, don’t even think about having another run at this failed institution. Just look at the anti-Trump protests. A big percentage of white women hate white men with every fiber of their beings and do their utmost to persuade the rest of the world to join them in their hatred.

    It’s not just the recent protests, either. The hatred has been evident for at least as long as I’ve been alive.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. molly says:

    I really really do like men. Half my loved ones are men and boys and babies. I make them sandwiches AND..

    ROASTS
    STEWS
    PIES
    FRIES
    PAVLOVAS
    TRIFLES
    SALADS

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Cill says:

    Yes you do make food for men, molly. My comment might have seemed a bit negative but actually most of the time IRL I’m a veritable bundle of laughs.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. molly says:

    AND irresistible charm!!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly! There is only one of you. 😦
    Burrito, burrito, burrito.

    Cill,
    Maybe we should have a march to talk more women into making food for men?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Rainbow Sherbet! Hamburger! YUM!
    A treat for Molly. Better motorcycle riders.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. molly says:

    Good lines on the corners eh.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I knew it would make you feel better. Here’s another Molly treat.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Stephen Crowder did make them look silly. I am beginning to wonder about him. He has gone undercover in drag before. I had hoped that after Wendy Davis lost her bid to be Governor of Texas that she would retire to obscurity. No such luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Cill says:

    Nige: the Supreme Court ruling on Article 50 makes a mockery of Direct Democracy:

    Liked by 2 people

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    This will only be a problem if Parliament votes against Brexit, contradicting the referendum. If they do, I hope that you have a spare room for Spawny.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Cill says:

    I’m sure the MPs will watch the by-elections in Copeland and Stoke closely.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    They have to know that while the referendum broke down to 52 to 48, in the interim, it has gone to two thirds in favor. Government thrives only by the will of the people. I hope enough understand that.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Spawny Get says:

    “I’m sure the MPs will watch the by-elections in Copeland and Stoke closely.”

    Many people will be…riveting

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Cill says:

    Who is the Ukip candidate for Copeland?

    Like

  17. happyhousewifey says:

    A couple I know just broke up after almost 40 years together. Long story short: she a controlfreak, he took on a beta role but on the side had an affair for almost half their time together. Other woman turned loony (showed her true colors) and controlfreakwife found out. She feels like 100% victim of course, having always worked and done all the housework and handmade dolls for her daughters and babied her man.

    I know a younger couple, and can see where they are headed. Everything she said about him was criticism. She even found fault with his choice of hammock (compared to ours). She made a great effort on her looks and has a nice job, he has another kid with an ex, and I’m thinking she thinks he is the lucky one.

    Most problems I see stem from women being idiots. And that comes from the feminist culture where we’re not allowed to call each other out on it. I would love to give some women pointers, but that would be the gravest of insults, simply taboo.

    A lot of unhaaaaaappy comes from a martyr complex. I got to complain once about too much housework and being overtired. My husband responded by forbidding me to ever do any housework at the expense of my mood. Brilliant solution – I now own my choices.

    Liked by 5 people

  18. Spawny Get says:

    Cringefest of white guilt, whatever the dumbfuck that is.

    Liked by 4 people

  19. Spawny Get says:

    Last I heard, this seat was expected to go to the Cons.

    Here is a list of the candidates so far declared for the by-election in Copeland caused by the resignation of Jamie Reed as the constituency MP.
    Liberal Democrats: Rebecca Hanson
    UKIP Party: Fiona Mills
    Labour Party: Gill Troughton

    Liked by 2 people

  20. happyhousewifey says:

    That white guilt thing was either a bad actress (over the top!), or someone from a loony cult…

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Spawny Get says:

    At least the US has enough space to make a Safe State where all the mental incompetents can be sent to…play with the baby potatoes, face paint and smoke themselves to death via weed.

    All we have is the Houses of Parliament 😦

    Liked by 3 people

  22. Cill says:

    If the woman at 10:23 am was deliberate comedy, it was actually quite good.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Cill says:

    Pity. You couldn’t fit them all on the Inchcape Rock.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Cill says:

    Just don’t dispatch them to the Commonwealth (although Canada might be happy to take them)

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Spawny Get says:

    Moron that wimminz bollox

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Spawny Get says:

    “Pity. You couldn’t fit them all on the Inchcape Rock.”

    Is that worse than (iirc) the rock in the North Atlantic that some ex-SAS guy lived on for a few days in order to reinforce UK ownership of the territory?

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Spawny Get says:

    Aha

    Former SAS member and survival expert (the Irish born) Tom McClean lived on the island from 26 May 1985 to 4 July 1985 to affirm the UK’s claim to the island.[46]

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockall


    Liked by 1 person

  28. Spawny Get says:

    At first glance I assumed it was a Godfrey Elfwick photoshop

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Spawny Get says:

    Stick it in, twist it and break it off

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Spawny Get says:

    Even lefty ABBC cannot take this McMong seriously. The former snp leader wibbles on on newsnight

    England 50-60million (who really knows) Scotland 5million (who cares) and they want to be an equal partner…get bent

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Spawny Get says:

    the SNP knows very well that:
    1) they have one line to push – we need another referendum
    2) they’d lose a referendum more badly now than they did before – it’s financial suicide

    Which is why the salmond ran away from actually having a referendum.

    Like

  32. Spawny Get says:

    I’m sure that this is part of it
    Global public sector corruption fuels rise of populist politicians, report says
    clearly not the whole story, but it’s part of it

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    When my wife started talking divorce, I gave her blank divorce papers and told her I’d file them as soon as she was done filling them out. In terms of prolonging the marriage, it’s proven effective. Far more effective than trying to work with her/talk it out. Caveat: I wasn’t bluffing.

    Liked by 5 people

  34. Farm Boy says:

    Wealthy Americans are preparing for a possible US collapse or revolt by the poor and buying properties in New Zealand, The New Yorker magazine reported.

    http://www.infowars.com/u-s-elites-buying-new-zealand-redoubts-to-escape-crackup-of-civilization/

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Spawny Get says:

    Farm Boy, yeah. Bolt hole shelters in islands off of the NZ mainlands too. Shit on their homelands then flee the fallout whilst screwing the originals in the new lands by pricing them out of the market for housing. Unleash the Tom 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Spawny Get says:

    Hard to beat this title for accuracy

    The actual result was somewhat negative in one part but the important part was won (The scoznaz can’t veto brexit)

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Spawny Get says:

    Did you see this one? It’s worse than the title suggests

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Spawny Get says:

    BTW the background change is due to my jealousy that you got Trump and he’s fucking doing something. We have useless, saggy MayOrMayNot…she’s useless…and saggy

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    To be fair, we didn’t know that Trump would do something, much less what we hoped he would. We just knew the others wouldn’t. I’m glad our gamble paid out. Hope Brexit\Nigel does as well. It’d be nice to have allies.

    Liked by 4 people

  40. happyhousewifey says:

    New Zealand is on a continental breakline. That’s just askong for trouble, moving there. I hear the cote d’azur millionaires are swapping France for Australia. Guess Oceania is where it’s at now.

    Liked by 2 people

  41. If I had known all this red pill stuff earlier, I likely never would have divorced. He is happily remarried now to a great gal, he and I buried the hatchet and both admit our mistakes. We have always worked very well coparenting but even so I can see it is far from ideal, not the same as an intact family. I can’t change the past or go back, but I would approach marriage entirely different now. I will never divorce again, that is for sure!

    Liked by 4 people

  42. Spawny Get says:

    Mixed news on chivalry

    Liked by 5 people

  43. Spawny Get says:

    Supposedly a good read
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-38749884
    Euro ‘could fail’, says man tipped as US ambassador to EU

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    If I had known all this red pill stuff earlier…

    Out of curiosity, what would have changed had you known? What would have been different in your reasoning/feelings? I ask, because as far as I can make out, red pill thinking affects how males react, not how females react. Are you saying your ex would have reacted differently, or are you saying you would have?

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Farm Boy says:

    The future is looking bright for Britain’s populist and patriotic U.K. Independence Party. According to a new poll, the party’s new leader — Paul Nuttall — is on track to win the by-election in Stoke Central on February 23

    https://pjmedia.com/trending/2017/01/25/britains-populist-ukip-party-on-track-to-pull-off-a-major-upset-in-labour-stronghold/

    Liked by 1 person

  46. The Male March against Facism (from Gab)

    Liked by 4 people

  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    At first, I saw the the humor in the new background, but, after a while, it is too reminiscient of the Vincent Price version of The Fly. Do you remember the last scene where the fly is screaming “Help me! Help me!”?

    Liked by 1 person

  48. California does not seem to get that they are broke, a huge drain on federal programs, have no way to make up for losing those programs, and yet they are heading straight for it! :/ If I was a CA resident, I would be moving asap!

    Liked by 3 people

  49. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    It is hubris. California can’t print money like the federal government and even the fed wouldn’t get away with it unless the US was the reserve currency for the world.
    After reading the article, it sounds like someone is covering their tracks. Could we see prosecution of state officials?

    Liked by 2 people

  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think what feminists want is to maintain the status quo. That women get to make eighty percent of all purchasing decisions while men pay three quarters of the taxes isn’t going to last if the destroy marriage. Women can continue to do that through borrowing money and wealth transfers via the government from men to women, but that cannot last forever.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Cill says:

    I’m as happy as Larry. Even if civilization goes to hell in a handbasket, I’ll survive well and in good company.

    Once a week, in an unabashed outpouring of self-congratulatory hedonism, I partake of a bottle or two of CDDU. I do not permit this shameless self-indulgence to commence before 4 pm.

    I am sitting on my beach, watching the clock.

    Anticipating a smug glug, I am.

    Liked by 3 people

  52. Cill says:

    Of course, a man can be excused for having a few dry runs before 4 pm. Gargle a mouthful of CDDU making sure to spit it out. Oops a bit went down the throat. Doesn’t count as a genuine glug, so I’m still within the rules.

    Liked by 3 people

  53. Cill says:

    14 minutes to go

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Cill says:

    Here’s to you folks

    Liked by 3 people

  55. Cill says:

    And you, Bloom.

    I’m in heaven.

    Liked by 2 people

  56. Cill says:

    Silence… Peace… Not for long. Post it and they will come. Come and join me in some beach fishing my Kiwi mates. The lines are already out.

    Liked by 3 people

  57. May your catch be abundant and friends to share it with even more so! Cheers!

    Liked by 3 people

  58. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This would not be good, but I think the bear wanted to find out how the humans got the fish to come out of the water.

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Cill says:

    If he brings in a fish he better let the bear have it.

    Liked by 2 people

  60. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    In the video, the bear was very polite.

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Guests says:

    Not as polite as the man needs to be if he wants to live.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    The man was pretty polite too.

    Like

  63. Farm Boy says:

    I wonder what would happen if you let a bear loose in a candy shop…

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Guests says:

    I saw the boss asleep. 3 snapper on his line while he was asleep. Lucky fishing.

    Liked by 3 people

  65. Guests says:

    I forget my manners. Hi to Spawny and friends

    Tom the Maori

    Liked by 4 people

  66. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    He should make a habit of putting out his lines before napping.

    Like

  67. Farm Boy says:

    Asian dude shoots White BernieBro at Milo Protest, claiming he looked like a White Supremacist. Media promptly investigates – the dying guy.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/JohnRiversX9/status/823230009456390144

    Liked by 2 people

  68. Farm Boy says:

    I am sure that our local bear would like some fish

    Liked by 1 person

  69. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “I wonder what would happen if you let a bear loose in a candy shop?”
    Two things. First, you would have a very happy bear and, second, it would be hard to persuade him to leave.

    Like

  70. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As a bear, it is hard to believe that white men have descended so far that it is open season on them all year. At least, by law, hunting us is limited.

    Yes, we would like some fish. Yum!

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Farm Boy says:

    Milo

    “CU Boulder is an important university for me to speak at. Your mascot is the Buffalo. A large ugly beast that is quickly disappearing from the American landscape. Just like feminists!” proclaimed MILO. “You may think I’m kidding, but feminists are disappearing. Honestly, it’s really sad you guys!”

    “Just 18% of American women identify as feminist, and that number is rapidly dropping,” he concluded. “Soon they will be so endangered we really will treat them like buffaloes and keep them in zoos.”

    http://www.breitbart.com/milo/2017/01/25/milo-feminists-disappearing-soon-will-gone-altogether/

    Liked by 1 person

  72. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    They’re disappearing? Are they going on diets and wasting away? Do you think that Milo is engaging in wishful thinking? Put them in zoos and throw treats at them?

    Like

  73. Farm Boy says:

    Put them in zoos and throw treats at them?

    Perhaps Milo was thinking of Lindy West

    Or maybe Lena

    Liked by 1 person

  74. Farm Boy says:

    Speaking of “Lena”, that name is forever ruined for me

    Like

  75. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Here is a different Lena. There is no confusion. She is black and talented.

    I think she is singing about things that would be considered normal, not tramp behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  76. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yes, if I saw Lindy West in a zoo, I would be tempted to throw her some Peanut Butter M&Ms.

    Like

  77. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I hope the judge tells these goofs that this isn’t funny anymore. That they are masking themselves, tells that they intend to cause trouble.

    Liked by 2 people

  78. happyhousewifey says:

    I liked that police video. I couldn’t even figure out how they did that after watching 3 times! And lovely that people thanked them for it, too 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  79. SFC Ton says:

    Feminist have won

    Women no longer need to call themselves feminist to fully support feminism

    Women will become feminist again the minute someone tries to roll back some of the feminist victories

    Liked by 3 people

  80. Farm Boy says:

    Ton is correct

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Spawny Get says:

    Smirk mode engaged

    Liked by 2 people

  82. Spawny Get says:

    Not entirely sure what’s going on, but it’s funny

    [edit to add the prequel]

    The original funny one vVv

    Liked by 1 person

  83. Spawny Get says:

    You jammy buggers! How I wish for this news here

    Liked by 1 person

  84. Spawny Get says:

    Liked by 3 people

  85. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    The entire senior management team of the US State department has quit.

    oh noes

    Liked by 3 people

  86. Spawny Get says:

    Sorry CP, should have given you a trigger warning and time to brace yourselves for apocalyptic news.
    Ours have all sold out to the eu and globalism.
    I’m jealous, again, of what your prez is up to

    Liked by 2 people

  87. The swamp is draining itself!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  88. Spawny even I am somewhat in shock at all he has accomplished! The guy just DOES NOT STOP! 😀 Love it!

    What will he do next?

    Liked by 4 people

  89. Among other things, he’ll tell the Mexican president not to not show up to their meeting if he won’t pay for the wall, apparently!

    Liked by 2 people

  90. And:

    Trump: No federal funds for sanctuary cities.
    SC: We double dog dare you…
    Trump: (Already signing it before they even stop talking)
    What’s next?

    MAGA!

    Liked by 3 people

  91. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    I just hope the other departments don’t follow suit. That’d be awful.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. When I read the story, it said four (4) senior people left, so the news is being a bit dramatic to say “whole Dept. walks out…”

    Liked by 2 people

  93. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    RPG, don’t ruin the moment.

    Liked by 5 people

  94. Spawny Get says:

    CP & Bloom, perhaps schadenfreude is best left to da menz? LMAO

    I’m sooo jealous.

    CP probably needs to brace himself for further bad news 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  95. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    I hear that if the bad news persists over 4 hours, medical assistance may be necessary.

    Liked by 4 people

  96. This whole politicians keeping their campaign promises is still so new…. trying to keep up! Lol.

    Liked by 4 people

  97. Meanwhile libs howl, “Why are you picking on her still?” after wikileaks releases 500 more pages of info on the C foundation….

    Liked by 5 people

  98. “We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be so sick and tired of winning.” ~DJT

    Liked by 4 people

  99. Cill says:

    59% of Likely U.S. Voters approve of President Trump’s job performance.
    So all those feminist bile-spewing anti-Trump protests were a bit of a… ah… miserable failure then?

    Liked by 3 people

  100. Spawny Get says:

    Feminists love misery, they’re strange that way

    Liked by 3 people

  101. Cill says:

    Feminism is as useless as trying to teach Ravens to fly underwater. Sir Arthur Strieb-Griebling would agree with me.

    “My life has been a miserable failure”

    Like

  102. SFC Ton says:

    The Ton is always correct 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  103. SFC Ton says:

    They did not quite
    Trump to them to get

    Liked by 1 person

  104. Cill says:

    Trump could make Mexicans pay for the wall by charging them a toll at the border. There are 300 million legal crossings every year between Mexico and USA.

    As Nigel Farage says, if he travels from Kent into Essex, he has to pay £2.50 at the border. If he crosses into Wales it costs £6.50.

    Liked by 1 person

  105. Spawny Get says:

    Anything that increases the costs of Mexicans reduces their competitiveness…good idea. Fee for cabling money out of the country?

    Liked by 1 person

  106. Spawny Get says:

    I’ve decided that I like green girls. Enterprise S4E17. That is all.

    Liked by 2 people

  107. Cill says:

    Another good idea.

    Like

  108. Spawny Get says:

    Except that have the one in red scrubbed and sent to my chambers…first

    Like

  109. Spawny Get says:

    The green woman in red? Yes indeedy

    Liked by 1 person

  110. SFC Ton says:

    Trump will pay for the wall by taxing the money sent to Mexico via western uinon, money gram and the like

    It’s not an original idea

    Liked by 3 people

  111. Yoda says:

    Green women like I do

    Liked by 4 people

  112. Turns out Mexico has a wall on their southern border! Imagine that…

    I once lived about 20 minutes N of the Mexican border and to be honest it will take more than a physical wall. It will take border patrol agents, surveillance, etc. Tunnels from a warehouse on one side of the border to another were found, for example and there were caves that also went from one side to the other. My friend’s dad was a spelunker and despite not working always seemed to pay cash for new cars and such. It was just understood there, don’t ask too many questions, stay out of other people’s biz. But I do wonder…

    Liked by 3 people

  113. Also, the media didn’t point this out but for every woman marcher there were 30 women who voted for Trump!

    Liked by 2 people

  114. Spawny Get says:

    first domino?

    Liked by 3 people

  115. Yoda says:

    A new post there is

    Like

  116. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    It wouldn’t bee this green girl?

    Liked by 2 people

  117. Spawny Get says:

    Same race, but this threesome

    Liked by 1 person

  118. Ame says:

    OP – some ideas on why January:

    – anyone would look really bad if they initiated anything during or right before ‘the holidays’ … so november and december are out.

    – october might be okay … september would be bad b/c school just started (though my ex didn’t think so and left in sept – rough on two little girls beginning kinder and 2nd 😦 )

    – what goes up must come down. all the high emotions of ‘the holidays’ falls after new years into the cold, dark month of january.

    – people have just spent time with family and friends they don’t see often … having lots of people to compare their lives to … lots of opinions … lots of alcohol freeing up mouths to talk.

    ____________________

    idk. it’s all just so sad and very tragic. the ‘advice’ out there is that ‘children are resilient’ … i just wanna hit everyone who says that.

    everyone talks about their childhood, their growing-up years … because those years affect us for forever. where do adults get off deluding themselves that *their* children won’t be affected by their stupidity? ugh.

    then post-divorce women ‘need to take care of myself!’ and in doing so sacrifice their children, yet again. i’m the kind of person who can usually see the good in everyone, but if you abandon your kids or keep them from their parent(s) i won’t even try. there are very very few reasons and real situations kids need to be pulled from a parent, and the chances are 99% that yours is not one of them. if it is, authorities should be involved.

    Liked by 4 people

  119. Ame says:

    Cautiously Pessimistic says:
    25 January, 2017 at 10:23 pm
    If I had known all this red pill stuff earlier…

    Out of curiosity, what would have changed had you known? What would have been different in your reasoning/feelings? I ask, because as far as I can make out, red pill thinking affects how males react, not how females react. Are you saying your ex would have reacted differently, or are you saying you would have?

    ____________________________________

    i know you asked this of Bloom, but i’ve pondered and dissected this question so many times. i was first married in the mid-1980’s, so there was no internet or ready access to information or help or knowledge, and it was really hard to find someone to confide in who could also give wise advice. i did research, read books, went to retreats, watched older married couples, asked lots of questions, but i had nothing like what’s out there now. i didn’t have a man’s pov that wasn’t heavily influenced by feminism or his wife b/c there was no anonymity. i didn’t have something to ‘label’ things (for lack of a better word). i could *see* things but not articulate them.

    idk what i would have done different. i already always took care of the house – meals, cleaning, laundry, schedules … was already always ‘available’ to him. already adapted my life to his. there were attitudes along the way that i was continuously adjusting to be in line with what he wanted. but of all those who knew him, no one could see what was coming. the first one to whom it all made sense was my therapist – and i know therapists get a bad rap, but i had a really good one – a man with lots of years experience who kicked my butt and didn’t give me a break for anything.

    i am NOT saying i was perfect – far from it. i have never said i was perfect or that i was totally innocent. just saying … idk.

    Liked by 2 people

  120. Yoda says:

    A Nebraska state lawmaker has resigned amid outrage over his social media activity. Republican Sen. Bill Kintner, who retweeted a controversial comment about the Women’s March protests over the weekend, announced his resignation at a press conference on Wednesday.

    The original tweet, from conservative radio host Larry Elder, featured an image of three female protestors holding signs referencing Donald Trump infamous remarks about grabbing women “by the pussy.” Two of the signs read, “Not this pussy!” Elder mocked the protesters, writing: “Ladies, I think you’re safe.”

    http://heatst.com/politics/nebraska-senator-resigns/

    Liked by 1 person

  121. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    He should not be made to resign. While the tweet was insulting, it was deserved. Sorry, ladies, but the truth hurts.

    Liked by 1 person

  122. Ame says:

    okay … after some more thought … one thing that would have definitely helped and probably changed things was knowing to believe how people act, not what they say. what my ex said and did were two very different things. if i’d known it was not only prudent, but okay, to ignore what he said when it didn’t match up with what he did in private … that would have changed everything, i think. i chose to believe what he said and was continuously shocked when what he did didn’t match 😦 .

    Like

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