Series on Sluts — Part II — Preventive Responsibility

Who is responsible for preventing girls from becoming sluts?  It is distributed, with some actors having more than others.

But first, one needs to consider if entities that should have responsibility even see a need for slut prevention.  How about society?  Does it see a need to prevent sluts?  In the old days, the answer was yes.  Doing so was about many things that societies considered to be of value: societal monetary cost, improved mothers and children, more content people in the long run, etc.  Apparently society does not value these much anymore; or perhaps it is rich enough to absorb the costs in terms of social services, welfare, etc.  I wonder if society really made this design, or was it made for them?

Anyway that you look at it, for the others responsible for the prevention of sluthood, the situation is now more difficult without overarching societal support.  This is probably why in the USA, home schooling has become more popular; allowing the parents to better control the environment that children grow in.  Let us now consider the parents.  If the Mom is a slut (or a unrepentant former slut, e.g. an alpha-widow), then all is lost.  I have seen this situation many a time.  The sins of the mother are visited upon the daughter.  Assuming that the mother actually wants to prevent slutdom, how much responsibility is hers?  There probably are many opinions out there, but I would say she has the majority of the responsibility.  The simple reason is it is about being a role model, in both action and attitude. Good role models can make good things happen; bad role models almost always lead to bad results.

The father also has a responsibility.  He should set the tone with respect to the expectations.  The daughter should feel that by being a slut, she would be disappointing him greatly.

It is most definitely a greater challenge today to prevent sluttery in daughters.  But with effort, it can be done

Posted in FarmBoy, HowTo, Lies
276 comments on “Series on Sluts — Part II — Preventive Responsibility
  1. FNU MNU LNU says:

    with boys you have one penis to worry about. with girls you have all if them to worry about. – FnuMnuLnu March 17, 1995.

    which is the day my daughter was born….

    Liked by 4 people

  2. FNU MNU LNU says:

    society has pretty much abdicated all responsibility for instilling proper morals in to anyone. it is all down to parents, family members, and caring adults who are part of a cohesive family/friends group. there is no “village” to help you raise your children. it’s just another myth.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Yoda says:

    there is no “village” to help you raise your children. it’s just another myth.

    Hillary lying she was?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. FNU MNU LNU says:

    were her lips moving?

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Yoda says:

    Which lips mean you do?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    FNU beat me to it. Hillary is lying if her lips are moving.

    I am beginning to think that, unconstrained, being a slut would be the norm and not the exception. We have done a terrible thing in promoting female sexuality while trashing men.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Linny says:

    Farm Boy

    If the mother is a slut or unrepentant former slut how can she be a good role model. With this model it would mean that the girls now must be non sluts so that the next generation has a role model to follow. But the problem is how to get the girls now to be non sluts.

    It seems to be circular in a negative way. So how do we make it positive? If it doesn’t become positive there will be no change.

    One other thing to consider is peer pressure. Even good role models can be squashed by the girl’s peers. And remember you have all those boys a-wish’n and a-hope’n.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Yoda says:

    Repent she could

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yoda says:

    Truly repent she could

    Liked by 1 person

  10. SFC Ton says:

    Feminism destroyed the authority of men over their wives, families, communities etc

    This shit is on the bitches

    Liked by 2 people

  11. SFC Ton says:

    “Positive” doesn’t create changes for the better in people. No pain, no reason not give into our baser selves.

    Pain creates situations where people want to rise above the baser self

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Yoda says:

    The Archbishop of Vienna who has been tipped to be the next Pope, has implied the election of Donald Trump is a good thing as Ronald Reagan turned out to be “certainly one of the best presidents the U.S. ever had”.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Having both biological parents in the house will lead to better behaving offspring.l I don’t see how this will happen with divorce being so prevalent and single motherhood at forty percent and climbing. It is only going to get worse.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Linny says:

    Perhaps Yoda has hit upon the answer. If the women were to stop being sluts now and did truly repent they could indeed be role models for the upcoming girls. They could use themselves as examples of what not to do.

    But what are the chances of that happening?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Artisanal Toad says:

    But what are the chances of that happening?

    The same as finding a man with a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…

    If they found such a thing it wouldn’t last very long.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Linny says:


    There are different types of pain which do you mean? Who would you inflict this pain on?

    When I said positive circle I meant a non slut woman raising her daughters to be non sluts and on and on as it once was. Although there has always been sluts throughout history just not as many or not almost every woman like today.


  17. Linny says:


    Would that be coin or paper money?


  18. Yoda says:

    Perhaps pain drive the repentance it could


  19. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t think that walking the straight and narrow will be too popular, so the the chances are slim to none, and Slim left town.

    They are not likely to repent. That would be admitting error. We are kind of stuck with them.


  20. When I think about it, the way the other girls treated me when the boys were interested was “pre-slut shaming” (before I actually did anything) and it actually did have the intended effect — I was very careful NOT to be what they said.

    In the past, women kept other women in line in a way the “go girl” culture doesn’t now. Bc let’s be honest, the few men benifiting from gals being easy rarely criticize it at the time (if anything they feed anti slut defense, even if really they think less of the gals later) but some women being easy lowers the bar for all women.

    For example, the “three date rule” that says if a gal doesn’t put out in three dates, move on. Why? Because many women WILL put out wi three dates (or less) and so this creates the situation. If all (or most) women agreed NOT to sleep w guys wi three dates, or even better for women not before a guy commits, then guys would adjust. Women set the bar low, men were only happy to go along.

    Yes, male relatives are a good influence, but women not being ok w other gals being easy is another factor.

    Why do women keep such close tabs on others and gossip and such? It was a way to keep, shame, or report those coloring outside the lines. Bc in the past (and despite birth control still I believe) it was in pretty much everyone’s best interest to keep female sexuality from running wild.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Artisanal Toad says:


    That depends on whether they spit or swallow.


  22. Yoda says:

    When I think about it, the way the other girls treated me when the boys were interested was “pre-slut shaming” (before I actually did anything) and it actually did have the intended effect — I was very careful NOT to be what they said.

    Probably cared about the sluthood state they did not

    Liked by 2 people

  23. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think the other girls were jealous of the attention you were getting from the boys.their motive was to “kill” you as competition.

    As for the “three date rule”, the boys are tired to taking the same girl out endlessly who isn’t really interested in him but likes to be fed. While it takes a lot to find a new girl to date, a line has to be drawn somewhere.
    And, with the mention of that, there are so many ways a guy can get played that they have to develop defensive tactics.

    Liked by 3 people

  24. SFC Ton says:

    The 3 date rule is about the predatory nature of women and protecting a man’s assets/ resources.


  25. Artisanal Toad says:


    For example, the “three date rule” that says if a gal doesn’t put out in three dates, move on. Why? Because many women WILL put out wi three dates (or less) and so this creates the situation. If all (or most) women agreed NOT to sleep w guys wi three dates, or even better for women not before a guy commits, then guys would adjust. Women set the bar low, men were only happy to go along.


    The idea of not putting out without a commitment is for virgins. That is the point that women are trying to avoid. The old definition of a slut was a woman who gave it up for free. Once was all it took. A whore was a woman who made a business of it and charged money. Decent women were virgins and gave their husband their best. Their virginity.

    A woman can only give her best to one man.

    Virgins have every right to play the V-card and should damn well be proud of it. A virgin can say that she’s saving her best for the right man and regardless of who she gives it to, she is giving him her best.

    If she’s not a virgin, every other man gets seconds. She already gave away (threw away) her best to some other man. So not only does the current man not get her best, but she comes with baggage. He wasn’t good enough to get her best because she wasn’t willing to wait for him, but she wants to make him wait for her? That’s asinine.

    “some women being easy lowers the bar for all women.”

    You’re trying to make this about the women but it isn’t. It’s about the men. For a man the woman is highly attracted to, she will do just about anything. Women will vehemently deny this, but it’s true and you know it. If she’s highly attracted he will get what he wants from her because she will give it to him cheerfully and willingly.

    Think of attractive men as products in the marketplace, with various prices. The most attractive men are the ones with the highest price. For top-shelf men women are willing to give a lot more than they would for a man of lesser value. As his value goes down there comes a point at which what she gives has to be outweighed by what he provides.

    In other words, as far as women are concerned, men must pay for not being attractive.

    You already know that some men will always get it for free, what you’re complaining about is men that normally have to pay are getting it for free. This is because of all the problems women have caused. Men committed and got screwed. After screwing over their husbands and destroying their families, there are millions of women on track to become lonely old cat women and more than a few of them are desperate. The men available to make a commitment are the ones who have been put through the meat grinder by the women. They are starting to wake up and realize their value and women are discovering they can either put out or get out. The rules are changing.

    Many women are not happy about this because they think the old rules still apply. These are men who must pay with commitment! How dare they get commitment free pussy! In only three dates!

    When it comes to the kind of man a woman wants commitment from, he may be blue-pill to the core but if he wants his house cleaned he can hire a maid. If he wants a loyal companion he can get a dog. If he just wants sex occasionally he can make any number of arrangements and porn is always there. What, exactly, is our banged up and about to hit the wall slut going to offer him to get his attention?

    What is the only thing he might want that she has to offer? Pussy!

    Under our current system, that’s ALL she can offer in the moment because anything she promises like love, loyalty, faithfulness, sweetness, femininity and just a bit of human concern can be taken away anytime she wants. Not only that, but when she takes it she can take away half his stuff as well.

    I’ve caught a lot of shit over the past few years for stating that what these women need to do is get together in groups of 2-4, set up house together, work out their issues, learn to work as a team, then go husband hunting and offer him a pre-packaged harem. I won’t bother explaining why because I’ve gone over it again and again, but the fact is, it’s the only stable structure that will work these days.

    Liked by 3 people

  26. SFC Ton says:

    To add to Toad

    It’s the great mass of mid level dudes who end up on prolonged dating that doesn’t lead to sex track.

    Upper tier guys get the ass, lower tiered guys don’t get the dates at all and face their own unique set of problems/ difficulties but it’s the mid level guys who dish out $60- $100 a date for 6 plus dates then gets shuffled off with nothing but an empty wallet in one hand and his cock in the other.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I see what you guys are saying but I still think the way things are today is whack all around. I guess it’s better for some but it still seems like a “less than” deal overall.

    I’m not saying I’d make a guy wait till our wedding night but I am also for sure not down w fucking pretty much strangers (3 dates?) in hopes that’s going to work out eventually. Yuck.

    Call me old fashioned I guess?!? Or something… :/


  28. And Toad yes I agree a virgin is wise to wait rather than go w/ the modern thinking that one’s virginity is something to get rid of as soon as possible. Hookup culture is… :/

    Liked by 3 people

  29. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It is not so much about sex as it is about being truthful about interest. While men can be interested in a wide variety of women, women are pretty narrowly focused that way, and lot of men end up getting played for chumps. It has been going on since high school and it is more than a little old.


  30. thedeti says:

    “You already know that some men will always get it for free, what you’re complaining about is men that normally have to pay are getting it for free.”

    I think this is the key right here. Certainly, more men who normally have to pay are getting it for free. That is stratifying right now — men who would normally have to pay are moving either up into “get it for free” or way down into “get nothing, even when you pay” and “can’t get it even when paying for it”. It’s stratifying into winners and losers. Winners get everything; losers get nothing. As in, nothing AT ALL.

    And the men at the bottom are checking out. Even the bluest blue pill men are figuring out that marriage is a shit deal. Even the bluest of blue pill men are not going to go on 6 dates and shell out money for women who won’t fuck them. Even the bluest of blue pill men have figured out that if a woman isn’t sexing him by date 3, then she’s not attracted to him.

    Yeah, women might be able to put the brakes on this a little by not having casual sex and by holding out. But most women won’t do that for men they’re really attracted to, and it’s always been this way. It’s a myth from ye olde Victorian era that women held out for marriage and would not have sex with a man she loved/was attracted to before marriage. Bullshit. If she wants him, is sexually attracted to him, she’ll fuck him before marriage. Even if she won’t fuck him, she’ll get his dick out for activities ending in -job, which is essentially sex anyway (ladies, if you’ve touched a dick for the purpose of sexual gratification, then you’ve “had sex” with that man).

    Liked by 3 people

  31. thedeti says:

    “I’m not saying I’d make a guy wait till our wedding night but I am also for sure not down w fucking pretty much strangers (3 dates?) in hopes that’s going to work out eventually. Yuck.”

    The idea behind her sexing him is that she has some skin in the game. She has to show the man that she really is interested in HIM, not just in his wallet or his provisioning ability. She has to show him that she is sexually attracted to HIM, and is not in this because she’s working to extract commitment.

    So I am down with men saying “sex by date 3”. Hate to say it, but I am. Women have GOT to show interest, REAL SEXUAL interest and REAL, GENUINE sexual attraction. Because today, the only thing that keeps a woman with a man is her sexual attraction to him.

    There are two women who formerly posted in the manosphere who made this very, very clear — one of whom had a husband who cheated on her with 30 different women, and she is STILL married to him. The other was what is commonly referred to as a “baby daddy” who had a kid by another woman, and she is so insanely sexually attracted to him she married him, and by her own statements is still so sexually attracted to him she can’t see straight.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Yoda says:

    Society a big stake it does have.
    Odd that it pretends that it does not

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Yoda says:

    The idea behind her sexing him is that she has some skin in the game

    Funny this is

    Liked by 1 person

  34. I honestly don’t know any women IRL who are “insanely” sexually attracted to their long term partner, even if initially the attraction was very strong and their partners are still very attractive. Hence if there’s not something “more” to it, what happens when things get day to day life routine? Compatability beyond chemistry is important as well, imho.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Choicy says:

    I know a beautiful sheila kept herself for the man she loved. Since hot jokers chased her I bet staying virgin was not easy mate. She was faithful to her dream of marrying one man. He is unavailable and out of reach though she gave her virginity to him and lost it. It’s sad mate. I wish she would look at other possibilities like this digger right here.

    This is me at the end of a day no sooner arriving than saying goodnight mates.

    Liked by 4 people

  36. happyhousewifey says:

    A chocolate penis that… nevermind 😉

    Setting up house with other women will not work without a man to keep things in line. All women-only groups are pure hell.

    Slut shaming (pre-emptive or not) by women is 100÷ jealousy.

    Prevention? Good family ties. Would absolutely hate to disappoint my family or bring them shame. And rules of propriety/conduct (don’t let women be put in a situation where anything could happen or where someone could claim that it happened).

    Liked by 2 people

  37. thedeti says:

    “if there’s not something “more” to it, what happens when things get day to day life routine? Compatability beyond chemistry is important as well, imho.”

    Sexual attraction is necessary but not sufficient. It’s pretty clear that in the two examples I listed, there is much more between these women and their husbands than sexual attraction.

    The problem in most marriages and LTRs is that the woman is not very sexually attracted to him and never really was; or that she was never sexually attracted to him at all from the very beginning.

    This is why the ‘sphere encourages men to test for sexual attraction by pushing for it early, and if she refuses or resists, then you move on because she is not sufficiently attracted, or isn’t attracted at all.

    Liked by 3 people

  38. thedeti says:

    “The idea behind her sexing him is that she has some skin in the game

    Funny this is”

    Yoda, that’s attributed to Dalrock – I can’t take credit for it.


  39. Linny says:


    I do not know your entire theory on the harem idea but I can see where such a thing could indeed work but ONLY for top tier men which I think you consider yourself to be one. Next time you sit in church take a realistic look at the other men sitting in the pews and rate their SMV. I think you will find that the majority of the men will be ranked at mid to low SMV.

    If you were to have such a harem would you be committing to *death do us part* or just until they are no longer young and attractive? If it is the former then okay but if it is the latter then all that is happening is the creation of sluts in a quicker manner. I do not see this as an answer to the problem that exists today. The answer must include a way to reduce the number of sluts not accelerate the process.

    By your definition I am a slut. I was not a virgin going into my marriage bed. But I was engaged to be married to him and did indeed do so(17 years). I probably would still be so if we had not had children. A topic I do not wish to expand on.

    I continue to be a slut in your eyes because I am not married to the man I live with. I did commit to *death do us part* and have continued with that commitment for over 25 years. I also committed with the idea that it would be *for better or for worse* not sure I should have been so cavalier about that one.

    I did have a short, very short affair between my two LTR so my N-count is three which by someone’s numbers lets me off the hook. But by your standards I am a slut and always well be.

    The only way I could be a role model for my grandchildren would be to out myself and use that as an example of what not to do. I really am not sure I want to tell my grandchildren that I am a slut. If that makes me a coward so be it.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Yoda says:

    Much of being a slut in the head it is

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Linny says:


    “Much of being a slut in the head it is”

    Do you really believe that? I think that most of the girls/women out there would not consider themselves to be sluts. But from what I read just on this blog the men out there do consider them to be sluts.

    So the women consider themselves to be worthy of commitment but the men consider them only good for sex.

    Right now in my head I am trying to reconcile the thought that I was not a slut with the opinion of others who do think I am a slut.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Yoda says:

    Many sluts that are slut believe themselves to be sluts not.
    Yet their attitudes the biggest slut factor there is.

    Liked by 3 people

  43. In days past, people grew up in the same town, families knew one another, went to school/church together. In that situation i could see how one would know even before date one what they were getting into.

    Today this is pretty uncommon, at least in parts of the US. Making dating and *really* knowing someone even trickier…

    So it kinda creates a “dammed if you do (slut) or damned if you don’t (out by date 3) situation.

    I know couples that started off w high attraction that don’t make it, and couples who were not so swept up in passion who are still happy and have a stable, comfortable partnership. And a few who met and married w/I weeks and are 30+ years later still obviously enamored of each other.

    Maybe part of the problem is there is no “known path to success” anymore? I dunno… Who knows!

    Those who find it are lucky indeed, I do know that.

    Liked by 3 people

  44. Linny says:

    I’m with redpillgirl, I am not *putting out* on date three. There is no way that I would have developed enough trust in any man to be comfortable enough to have sex with them,

    Now in this day and age there is no way I would allow a man to foot the bill for dating me. I will or would I guess is a better way to put it pay my portion if only to prevent the man from expecting payment by way of sex for having fed me. If I am going to prostitute myself it will be in the form of cash and I will set the price.


  45. thedeti says:

    how can that needle be threaded? How can women show real, genuine sexual interest without… well, showing real, genuine sexual interest? Because the only real test of a woman’s sexual interest is her willingness to have sex with a man.

    If a woman resists me and refuses sex with me, I am going to conclude she is not interested in me sexually and is not sexually attracted to me, and I don’t care what else she says or does.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. thedeti says:

    I am also not going to invest time or money, or commit myself to exclusivity with a woman, unless we are having sex and she is sexually interested in and attracted to me. Period. Full stop.

    How does the readership propose that this needle be threaded?

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Spawny Get says:

    And they wonder why they trail cancer in popularity stakes

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Deti, I don’t know… Good question!

    Liked by 2 people

  49. Linny says:

    There are lots of examples of long term marriage from generations past. Were they happy, some yes and some no.

    Women stayed with their men for economic reasons. Men stayed because they could stray and get away with it without disrupting the household.

    I worked in long term care and I could tell you story upon story of how things were back in the day. It is not as cut an dried as people today would like to think.

    Perhaps you could take a look at the depression era. Men abandoning their families because they could no longer care for them financially leaving the women with children to feed and no resources. Most of these men did not return to those families or even send money home even after things got better. The second wave of feminism could have gotten a start at this time but WWII interfered. It might have worked out better because it would have been women who understood what hardship really is and feminism would not have developed into the stupidity that exists today.

    Many look at the 1950’s as some sort of Camelot. I was there and can tell you that this idol has feet of clay. What people think they know is just the Hollywood version. Yes, things were better in some ways but worse in other ways.

    A lot of what is being said today especially about slutiness and virginity is actually Victorian and middle to upper class at that not 20th/21st century. The world is a different place today.

    Yes, there are things that need to be revived to make this world a happier place but to revert to the way things were is not the answer. We need new ways. You can’t just talk about a problem and expect it to go away, you need to talk about ways to rectify the problem to see improvement.

    Liked by 2 people

  50. Spawny Get says:

    Looking at the stats for a woman’s N vs Divorce risk, men should just refuse to support non-virgin women as wives or LTR. And then let women do as they wish regarding their attitude to sex. And if they refuse to have anything to do with non-virgin men…who fucking cares?

    Just finishing that rad fem documentary, fucking nut-job hate-filled bigots. How about you stop taking state money…cunts.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Linny says:


    I have a needle that needs to be threaded also. How do I not become a slut if I have sex with a man on date 3 and we are not compatible on non sexual levels or I find out he is just a player and things end.

    You say a woman must prove her sexual interest in you or it’s – next. For me if a man pushes for sex before I have had time to develop some trust it’s – next. My reason for that is simply that his only priority is himself and really doesn’t care about me except as someone to have sex with at the moment. I have no desire to be someone’s cumster.

    Conundrum for sure.

    P.S. Which can I assume from what you have written 1) that you are not getting any sex or 2) that you are in a committed relationship because a woman did give you sex on date 3. It has to be one or the other or that means you are adding to the problem of too many sluts.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. @Linny, good point — there never really was some “magical age” where people weren’t people, for good and bad. Even 150 years ago, people ran off together, or got divorced, or disappeared, as you say, and maybe families made up stories like, “so and so passed away” when in reality that was just a cover story to explain a first marriage (w kids as evidence of a prior union) that didn’t work out… In my own family, there was a fur trapper era husband who simply never came back. Maybe he was killed by a mountain lion, maybe he found another gal in another town, who knows? Eventually his widow (?) remarried, and it is still kind of a hush hush thing in my family today, which kids were from which marriage. It happened…

    And you are right the world has changed in ways that there probably is no putting Pandora back in the box. And what works for some may not work for others.

    In general, the couples I see who are long time together and happy seem to be those who truly enjoy and respect each other. I am sure they too have had struggles and strife, but there is a bond, not friendship exactly but deeper than…. it’s hard to explain but it makes me happy when I do see it! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  53. happyhousewifey says:

    The 3 dates thing is crazy. I wouldn’t have even gone on a date at all with a man I had only met 3 times before, let alone sleep with him. Someone you have spent 3 evenings with is a stranger. Who gets so naked and vulnerable with a stranger???


  54. Linny says:


    ” The old definition of a slut was a woman who gave it up for free”

    The original meaning of the word meant untidy or slovenly.


  55. happyhousewifey says:

    Okay, so I just asked my husband. He knows people who date strangers they meet on this app, tinder, and they follow the 3 date rule. But they only care about having sex and don’t want to waste time if it costs too much time. So I guess you could safely assume if a man doesn’t stick around after date 3 and no sex, sex was all he was after. If he sees more in you, then he can wait.
    If I were widowed I would NO WAY put out after 3 dates, not a chance. He would have to be family approved and have a bond with the kids first. Imagine having your kids see you cry over some random stranger, or some outsider taking charge of your home. No way jose.


  56. thedeti says:

    “I have a needle that needs to be threaded also. How do I not become a slut if I have sex with a man on date 3 and we are not compatible on non sexual levels or I find out he is just a player and things end.”

    With all due respect, that’s women’s problem. You’ll need to pay closer attention. Rely on your parents’ discernment and help, especially your father. Rely on male relatives to help you weed out players, cads and ne’er do wells.

    “You say a woman must prove her sexual interest in you or it’s – next. For me if a man pushes for sex before I have had time to develop some trust it’s – next.”

    Well, I guess that’s a Mexican standoff, innit? Because she needs to find some way to show me she is SEXUALLY interested in me. SEXUALLY. That I’m not just a walking wallet, a placeholder, or the hapless loser she’s picked to finance her life. Sorry. I’m just not going to be that or do that, and no man should.

    If you can’t find a way to show me sexual interest, if you aren’t going to have any skin in the game, if you’re requiring me to pay all the bills and take all the risk, then you’ll be setting yourself up for a one-way ticket to Feline City. That’s just not gonna fly.

    “My reason for that is simply that his only priority is himself and really doesn’t care about me except as someone to have sex with at the moment. I have no desire to be someone’s cumster.”

    No, his priority is making sure he’s not getting fucked over and taken advantage of. He won’t have any desire to be a walking wallet or the scapegoat for her shattered dreams.

    “Which can I assume from what you have written 1) that you are not getting any sex or 2) that you are in a committed relationship because a woman did give you sex on date 3.

    well, it’s number 2. I’ll overlook that little personal attack.

    “It has to be one or the other or that means you are adding to the problem of too many sluts.”

    Fuck off. You don’t know me well enough to talk to me like that on this goddamn blog or any other. I’m not adding to any problems.

    Liked by 3 people

  57. thedeti says:

    “So I guess you could safely assume if a man doesn’t stick around after date 3 and no sex, sex was all he was after. If he sees more in you, then he can wait.”

    it USED to be this way. It’s not anymore.

    A woman has got to show she is interested in a man for more than just his wallet or his time or his status, and that means SHE has to give HIM something HE wants.

    Your suggestions require men to invest all the time, spend all the money, use up and consume his resources, and take all the risk. What is she investing, spending or risking?

    THis place is a bit too female heavy today. Think i’ll mosey along and maybe check back in tomorrow.

    I strongly suggest that the female commentariat consider well my words.

    Liked by 2 people

  58. thedeti says:

    It doesn’t sound to me like the ladies here are interested in “threading the needle”. It sounds to me like the ladies are saying “my way or the highway; it’ll be done on my terms or not at all.” That doesn’t sound like compromise to me. That doesn’t sound like the ladies are willing to give the man ANYTHING in this equation.


    Highway. Not at all.

    Liked by 2 people

  59. FNU MNU LNU says:


    Liked by 1 person

  60. happyhousewifey says:

    What about simply having fun together? If you can’t have a good time just talking, it’s never going to work anyway. Both only invest time. I don’t agree with investing money, either. The whole American style dating thing is something we only did after we got married.
    And I think sexual interest can be read off a face! 🙂


  61. FNU MNU LNU says:

    and whats the value of having four wives who wont do the laundry under one roof?


  62. thedeti says:

    “What about simply having fun together?”

    How does that help me gauge sexual interest? That’s just “let’s just be friends”. Nope. Not good enough.

    “And I think sexual interest can be read off a face!”

    Not really. If it can, then she needs to be ready to put her “money” where her “face” is. She needs to make that sexual interest known. Clearly. Plainly. Not just with facial expressions. Because facial expressions can be feigned. Indicators of interest can be faked. Facial expressions can also be misread and misunderstood.

    Her sexual interest needs to be very plain. Overt, not covert.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. happyhousewifey says:

    “What is she investing, spending or risking?”

    If I hypothetically had sex with a man (I’m married but say I were a widow), knowing my automatic response to that, I would risk my entire self and the well being of my children. I am entirely submissive and that is evoked very much by sexual activity. I would risk getting attached to someone who did not have a care for us, and putting up with all kinds of abuse. I risk losing all control. None of the safeguards I would put in place require a man to spend money on me. Just that he can be trusted and he fits in with my family. That’s not jumping through hoops, because if he does it to suck up, my brothers would see through it and chase him off anyway. If it doesn’t come naturally, never mind. It’s not about him actively proving himself, it’s simply about trust. That takes time. My husband I know had a couple of lovers in the time between us meeting and our marriage, but the time worked toward his building trust anyway. Love should be more organic, none of this dating nonsense.


  64. thedeti says:

    “I would risk my entire self and the well being of my children. I am entirely submissive and that is evoked very much by sexual activity. I would risk getting attached to someone who did not have a care for us, and putting up with all kinds of abuse. I risk losing all control.”

    No you wouldn’t risk yourself or your children by having sex with a man. You would not risk any form of abuse. All women have to do is meekly drop a dime to the local police if that man ever did anything, anything at all, to you, or even spoke of it. On your command, the police will send large men in blue uniforms and carrying guns to dispatch that man, stomp his guts out, and imprison him. On your command, the courts will issue orders of protection to protect you and guard you from further harm. Any man in your vicinity will protect you.

    Yes, you might get attached to someone. That’s a risk you’d have to bear.

    No you would not risk losing control. Women are viewed in the eyes of the law as total equals. You would still have control of all your mental and emotional faculties. NO one and nothing is removing your ability to control anything by having sex.

    Your view that the man has to “wait” is outdated and antiquated. He has to wait. What does she have to wait for? This gives her all the advantages. Nope. That’s not going to fly. You have to give the man something to make it worth his while. Because candidly, he’s wasting his number one resource by waiting, and that’s his time. He’s risking and spending and wasting time.

    Ladies, you’ll have to do better than this.

    Liked by 2 people

  65. Yoda says:

    A standoff indeed we have.
    Perhaps older rules logic they did possess

    Liked by 2 people

  66. The older rules weren’t perfect, or always perfectly followed, but they did seem more clear.

    Were people happier? Unknown. We’re there less divorces, ESP. Frivorces, fewer single parents? Yes. Society in general supported staying together vs. breaking up.

    However as an engineer I once worked with said about arranged marriages in his country, the divorce rate was nearly non existant (which might indicate arranfed marriages work better) but he said in reality divorce just wasn’t an option in almost any case, so it just didn’t happen.

    As for of polygamy would work “better” I think that’s also unknown, at least in the US. In China, where it was common among the upper class until the 1940s, it did have a low failure rate but again divorce was unheard of so it’s hard to say if it “worked better.” It was socially accepted, and there were clear “rules” so that likely helped some. But tales of jealousy and status jostling among wives are common, especially when it came to children and sometimes that led to nefarious stuff like offing rival wives older sons and such.

    Maybe every approach has good and bad? Pros and cons? I dunno…

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Obviously offing rival children is bad, I don’t mean to include that in the “good and bad” category, to clarify… :/


  68. And as one commenter once said long ago, we are all just wandering among the smoking wreckage.”

    In other words, nobody here really choose the current situation, we’re all just trying to cope best we individually can w no clear “rules.”

    I can understand why guys need to be protective, and why women do, too. Marriage today is risky biz, for some an intolerable risk, and none of us has reassurances from an all knowing crystal ball…

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Or I mean for some an understandably intolerable risk…


  70. Linny says:


    I apologize for making it seem like a personal attack. It was not meant that way, I should have used the word men instead of the word you. Because obviously you are not the only man to have the 3 date rule. I am used to having debate one on one with people I do know.

    I do not believe that any man should put any of his assets, etc. at stake while dating. Time I think is a shared thing so I don’t really think that should count..

    I have said that I am in a LTR, I will expand on that. It has been over 25 years but even back then I did not expect him to pay for everything. In fact because of the situation at the time I probably paid for way more than him. During our live-in relationship I have paid half of all expenses and now pay almost all of them. But as I said for better or for worse that is the way of it.Some things we just cannot control.

    My ex-husband waited waaaaaaay longer than 3 dates for sex. My partner although longer than 3 dates not nearly as long as my ex and I had the advantage of knowing my current partner to some extent before dating him. This was to make sure that the trust I had on a social level was transferable to a personal level.

    Both of my LTRs have been run on a model similar to Athol Kay’s captain/first mate ideal with my man as captain. I have never used sex in a transactional way mainly because I like sex and have through all phases of womanhood.

    But with all that has been said I stand by my feeling that 3 dates is not enough for me to feel sufficient trust to engage in sex. That is my personal standard but if I were to advise someone younger I would make the suggestion they follow my standard.

    Liked by 2 people

  71. thedeti says:

    @ Linny:

    You didn’t address a thing I said. All you’re saying is “yeah but women risk and I’m not asking him to spend money”.

    It is about the money. It is also him making sure of her sexual interest. It is also him making sure SHE has something on the line too, and not just her stringing him along. You haven’t addressed any of this.

    Women are going to have to find a way to address that, for there to be any solution to this problem. Women are going to have to find ways to alleviate the risks and give men assurances they aren’t being fucked over, used, and taken advantage of, and that sexual interest is present. Women are going to have to SHOW that interest and DEMONSTRATE that interest with SOLID ACTION.

    Liked by 4 people

  72. I get that Deti, in fact I think anybody has the right to have any litmus test they need and the other party can either agree or disagree to participate and then from there both parties can decide it’s a go or a no go…. Absolutely.


  73. Spawny Get says:

    I appreciate the apology for the personal comment.

    But moving on, I do think that we have a stand off. That documentary above has emptied me off good will for the evening. I am utterly sick of the wimminz with the attitude shown in that documentary. They’re nutty and are immune to reason. Full of spite from imagined rules of imaginary patriarchs. Stupid cunts.

    Liked by 5 people

  74. thedeti says:

    @ Linny:

    “Time I think is a shared thing so I don’t really think that should count..”

    It does count. Very much. It’s a man’s most valuable asset/resource. Time wasted cannot be recovered. Time, once spent, is gone, and it cannot be recouped. It is very much in a man’s interest that his time not be wasted on a woman who is not sexually interested in him. It is very much in a man’s interest that he spend his time on women who actually do want him.

    One would think a woman would value time as well, because when trying to find a man, time is not on her side. Time is always working against her, both in terms of approaching the Wall and in terms of fertility.

    Ultimately, it’s more an issue for men, since women have it much, much easier when finding men who are interested, and in gauging male interest. It is very, very easy for women to find men who are interested in them. It is very, very hard for men to find women who are interested in them.

    Liked by 4 people

  75. SFC Ton says:

    Women have their own difficulties in the SMP/ MMP but this is the man o sphere so their problems aren’t our problems and frankly I don’t give a fuck. Women have every other corner of the world to discuss their difficulties

    Liked by 2 people

  76. SFC Ton says:

    “I guess you could safely assume if a man doesn’t stick around after date 3 and no sex, sex was all he was after. ”

    What else does she have to offer?
    Is she going to

    Help me rebuild the carbs on my Harely?
    Gut the deer I killed?
    Help me install the lift kit on my truck?
    Help me squat 700 pounds again?


  77. Linny says:


    I cannot speak for other women only for me.

    I would not accept a date with a man unless there was some sort of attraction. I guess I should say sexual attraction because you might misconstrue that *just attraction* could mean his bank balance etc, The attraction is most likely to be his overall look or attitude. I have never dated a total stranger like so many people do today so I would have some idea of what he is like, at least physically and socially.

    If on a first date I find him unappealing sexually I, myself, would not go on a second date and I don’t care what his net worth is. If I was undecided I might go a second date but if it wasn’t happening for me there would be no third date.

    I have been called forward in my approach to people and if it got to a third date I would be forward enough to say that I find him sexually appealing but that I was not ready for sex at that time. If he did not find that acceptable that would be the end of it by his choice and I would accept that.

    I consider my time to be as valuable as my date’s time so I have no desire to waste it for either of us. Dating just for the sake of having somewhere to go or something to do does not appeal to me. I am an adult I do not need to be entertained.

    If I am not interested in his money or assets and am willing to put money on the table to help cover the cost of the date how would I be taking advantage of him? Perhaps I need the time to make sure it is not my assets that are in jeopardy, or that I am not being led down the garden path. I have no brothers and if I asked my father’s opinion he would have told me I was an adult and to make my own choices as such. Now a days that is a mote point.

    For myself I have to say that if a man insists on sex as proof of interest and that is the only proof he will accept then that is not the man for me.

    If I were to find myself single again I doubt very much that I would enter the marketplace.I won’t say never that is just inviting Murphy to perch on my shoulder.

    All that I have said pertains to me and only me, as I said I cannot speak for other women.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. SFC Ton says:

    polygamy is not a good large scale option

    It takes Frame. Like a boss

    Openly spinning plates is more realistic for most men.

    Liked by 2 people

  79. SFC Ton says:

    Most heterosexual men are not dating honest actors in the smp, they are dating regular everyday women instead.



  80. Yoda says:

    Leader of the free world this is,

    President Barack Obama celebrated the social changes made in the military during his administration by allowing gays to serve openly in the Armed Forces and opening combat roles to women.
    “Joe Biden and I know that women are as least as strong as men,” he said. “We’re stronger for it.”

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Ame says:

    SFC Ton says:
    4 January, 2017 at 2:58 am
    “Positive” doesn’t create changes for the better in people. No pain, no reason not give into our baser selves.

    Pain creates situations where people want to rise above the baser self

    – – –

    yes. this is so true. until it’s more painful to remain where we are, we will not endure the pain to change.


    AT –
    “For top-shelf men”

    i already have my top-shelf man … but can i have top-shelf guacamole?! 😉 … that made me hungry for Mexican food … so it’s Mexican food for dinner tonight! yummm! now to get off the computer and make dinner 🙂


  82. Yoda says:

    A school district in Kentucky has canceled the school’s “Stallions” mascot after a petition from the community argued that the mascot was “inappropriate and sexist.”

    Liked by 1 person

  83. Ame says:

    Spawny Get says:
    4 January, 2017 at 10:04 pm
    That documentary above has emptied me off good will for the evening.

    – – – – –

    i hate when something like that affects me so … boo … now you need something to fill you back up with good will … hummm … let me think … howz this?! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  84. Ame says:

    i love that we can have pictures with contact info in our phones … makes me feel much more secure when texting my husband that i’m sending it to the right person. now … if anyone ever gets into my phone and changes the pics around, i’m gonna blush like crazy and hide in a hole in a dessert on an uninhabited island when my texts intended for him go to someone else!!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  85. Artisanal Toad says:

    Deti & RPG

    I have only been able to identify three litmus tests of attraction.

    Will she have sex with you?
    This has a scale that goes from starfish-sex with no interest to being down for *anything* and initiating it. Sex is the most common litmus test for attraction, but women have proved time and time again that they are willing to put out (while metaphorically holding their nose) until they’ve got the commitment they wanted, then he gets a dead bedroom.

    Some women protest the three-date rule because they claim they are being pressured, but the fact is that if she’s highly attracted she is not being pressured. The problem with the three-date rule is the man cannot reliably use sex as a litmus test because plenty of women will have sex with him without being attracted to him just to get access to his goodies.

    From The Rational Male

    “A woman who wants to fuck you will find a way to fuck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, fuck the shit out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to fuck will find a way to fuck.”

    Will she submit to you?
    I’m not talking about BDSM stuff, I’m pointing to the difference between obedience and submitting to the man’s accountability, which means accepting the consequences when she decides to disobey. I wrote about this in the post “You Need To Be Spanked.”

    Masculine dominance is a key component of a man’s attractiveness and physical discipline is the ultimate expression of dominance. If a woman is not willing to accept a man’s dominance of her it means she is not attracted to him enough to accept that. A woman might feel compelled to have sex because she feels pressured, but as a rule a woman will only submit to corporal punishment if she’s highly attracted or she has a spanking fetish. And if she’s a spanko that is a very good thing to learn as fast as possible.

    On several occasions I’ve had women admit they look on spanking as a litmus test, in that a man who wouldn’t do that sort of thing just isn’t for them.

    Will she share you?
    There is a gradient here as well. We’ve probably all seen the meme of “My boyfriend’s wife hates me” and underlying that is the fact both the girlfriend and wife are knowingly sharing him. Hookup culture is all about sharing the high-value men. It runs from sharing him with plausible deniability all the way to sharing him in threesomes.

    A woman might have sex with a man for her own reasons that have nothing to do with attraction and she might actually like going over his knee because she likes being dominated like that, but a woman will NOT share a man unless she is highly attracted. The older the woman is, the more true this is.

    This is a point that gets deep into the issue of female competition. Why is it that when a man prepared and knows what he’s doing (tight game and excellent logistics), it’s easier to pull two women and take them home for a threesome than it is to pull one woman and take her home for sex? Lots of reasons but they boil down to female competition (in which their behavior together will devolve to the lowest common denominator) and the change in dynamic that occurs with two women competing that results in the elimination of ASD. These two work together and the result is that for an attractive man who knows what he’s doing it’s easier to pull two women than just one.

    I would NEVER do that…

    When you hear a woman say “I would NEVER do that…” what she’s actually saying is she would never do that with the man she is with, or perhaps with any of her previous men. I can speak from both personal experience and observation that a woman who says “I would never” is almost assuredly lying. Often as much to herself as to whoever she’s talking to.

    The fact is, the vast majority of women are not with a man they are highly attracted to and most have never been. We observe the phenomena of the “alpha widow” and that points to the fact attraction is both relative and subjective. It isn’t just that he was alpha, it’s that his flavor of alpha hit her attraction button just right and pushed it so hard she was like a slot machine that hit the grand jackpot. Very few women ever experience that.

    In some ways I suspect this is similar to the derision many women have for the fact that sex is a physical need for men. With a testosterone level 15 times less than that of a man, they are ignorant of the truth, but when they have their testosterone levels raised to that of a man they gain understanding. After experiencing what men live with on a daily basis they say they can’t understand how men can control themselves.

    Which means that when she gets attention from a man she is highly attracted to, she WILL do that and she will want to do that because of HIM. The corollary is that women will refuse to do that because it isn’t HIM.

    Liked by 2 people

  86. Ame says:

    this seems to illustrate what the men are saying:


  87. Yoda says:

    hide in a hole in a dessert

    Like an exotic dancer in a cake this would be

    Liked by 1 person

  88. Ame says:


    but … only for my Man! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  89. Today I saw a (probably?) 18ish year old girl in yoga pants at the store and suddenly I understood FINALLY why teenage guys get so distracted by that. Lol. And I could also tell she had no clue. Ah to be young again…anti gravity butt!

    And no Toad, I did not inquire if she was interested in being part of a ready made harem 😉 Sorry!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  90. Yoda says:

    College men, meet Mia Karvonides, your new worst nightmare.

    Currently she’s the head of the “Title IX and Gender Equity” office at Harvard University, charged with ensuring there is no safe space for men anywhere at Harvard.

    For example, recently Ms. Karvonides helped persecute the members of the men’s soccer team for their “thought crime” of (privately, in a document circulated only amongst themselves) evaluating members of the women’s soccer team based on their sex appeal. (For critical takes on the persecution, which included the cancellation of the rest of the men’s soccer season based on events that had occurred years earlier, see Breitbart, Legal Insurrection, College Fix, Daily Caller, Total Frat Move, and Reddit.)

    Intent on taking this “War on Men” national, President Obama and his minions have engineered the appointment of Ms. Karvonides, effective Jan. 17, to serve as the federal government’s top official in charge of enforcing Title IX against all colleges and universities, according to a Harvard Crimson story broken about 5 p.m. (Eastern time) today: “Title IX Officer Mia Karvonides to Leave Harvard.”

    Under the direction of Ms. Karvonides soon, in the immortal words of David Burge, all college students born with the shame of having a penis — not just those at Harvard — may have new hope of being reeducated not to be a man.

    Liked by 1 person

  91. Ame says:

    “And I could also tell she had no clue. Ah to be young again…anti gravity butt!”

    ‘anti-gravity butt!’ L.O.L!

    sheesh … i had NO clue when i was that age, either. nah … don’t want to be young again … just want that young body again 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  92. Yoda says:

    The Wendy’s official Twitter account has been making headlines the past few days by ruthlessly trolling its critics on the social media platform

    Liked by 1 person

  93. Yoda says:

    Everyday Feminism has slashed the price of its program promising to cure the “toxic whiteness” of its readers – just months after it was launched.


  94. Yoda says:

    The video was uploaded to Facebook live yesterday by a user named Brittany Herring, the African-American woman who appears in the clip. The 30 minute video shows a young man tied up in a corner with blood coming from his head. The man’s mouth is gagged as thugs humiliate and abuse him.

    The victim is repeatedly kicked and hit while forced to denounce white people and Donald Trump.

    Liked by 1 person

  95. SFC Ton says:

    RPG….. next time there better be photos 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  96. Artisanal Toad says:


    You can get an anti-grav butt with time and work. If you want anti-grav tits I have a friend that’s a plastic surgeon and he is a wizard when it comes to structural engineering. One of the perks of working for him is he gives each of his office staff one free procedure a year. I was there one afternoon after all the patients had gone and they took their shirts off and showed me what he could do. Truly amazing. Best of all, he tells them to stop wearing bras, which is music to my ears. I hate those things.

    There’s no need to apologize about clueless girl. I wouldn’t expect you to have any desire to partner with an 18yo no matter how good she looks in yoga pants. I’d rather see you as part of a matched set of redheads.

    Liked by 2 people

  97. Yoda says:

    French presidential candidate Marine Le Pen said she wants to take France out of the Euro and reintroduce a new national currency after a potential “Frexit.”

    Liked by 2 people

  98. Yoda says:

    Australians are known for their love of beer. But they love it even more when the country’s political leaders are chugging one down.

    Take the country’s oldest living former prime minister, Bob Hawke.

    Hawke, now 87, finished off a glass of beer just before midday on Wednesday during a cricket match between Australia and Pakistan.

    As cameras watched on and a stadium full of people cheered, he sculled his beer in a flash. This is Australia, folks.

    Liked by 1 person

  99. Yoda says:

    On Wednesday, President Obama added another prestigious medal to his Nobel Prize collection when he had Defense Secretary Ash Carter award him with the Department of Defense Medal for Distinguished Public Service.

    Liked by 1 person

  100. mgtowhorseman says:

    A man’s evening.

    polar vortex coming in. temp dropped from 37f to 12 in 3 hours. winds sustained 40k gusting to 75. everything was thawing so glazed ice everywhere.

    took nightly 3 bales out plus an added two. lugged 30 litre jugs x 3 cause tbe barn tap flash froze. Found the two barn cats who are under a year and brought them in cause their not furred up yet.

    Primed the genny and fired up the kerosene heaters cause these winds gonna bring down the power lines for sure.

    Mrs. has that nasty h3n2 flu. Had chills and sweats for two days and nasty cough. Got her fed and comfortable.
    Recheck the ponies. everyone accounted for in the shelters.

    Checked in at work. No flu on site…yet but night shift doing extra rounds of the residents.

    now reading in my chair listening to the wind. Just a cozy canuck winter night.

    yeah you sjws. bring on your programs to rid me of my white privalege and masculinity and my boundless life of leisure.

    piss off, move to finland and collect your basic income allowance. Leave the True North strong and free to real Canadians. And take that asshole pajama boy Trudeau with you.

    Liked by 4 people

  101. mgtowhorseman says:

    yeah agree w Ton. Yoga pants either work or are nasty. we needpictures.

    Liked by 1 person

  102. mgtowhorseman says:

    sluts. yoga pants.
    like steak and beer. just go together.


  103. Somebody is trying really really hard to start something. Jan. 20th can’t come soon enough! I can’t wait to make America safe again! All crime matters. May God bless and protect and guide our new leader and heal our nation. MAGA!

    Liked by 2 people

  104. mgtowhorseman says:

    re the threre date rule.
    knew the Mrs in high school. dated all of her friends but not her.
    went to college, partied etc.
    after 5 years met her again at a wedding. Arranged a date for next weekend. Took her to dinner. Made her breakfast…if ya know what i mean. 6 days later got engaged. year later married. as of today we have been married for 10,322 days (minus the 4 months i kicked her out when we weren’t haaaaapppy.)
    We still fuck like bunnies and she had said whatever i want to do re retirement or jobs she will follow.

    toads list is a checkbox of why we pulled it out when all our friends divorced.

    p.s. athol sold out to purple pill yuuuuge.

    Liked by 3 people

  105. Sorry I didn’t get a photo! Lol. Next time…


  106. SFC Ton says:

    Go get us that photo. Break out your made journalist skillz and get to work.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. Yoda says:

    Use Jedi mind tricks to do place an idealized version in your head I will.
    Sufficient it would be?

    Liked by 1 person

  108. I am so upset about that BLM video of the kid being abused. But am clinging to this: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12. MAGA

    Liked by 3 people

  109. SFC Ton says:

    Waiting to find out if the video is legit

    Liked by 1 person

  110. Artisanal Toad says:

    p.s. athol sold out to purple pill yuuuuge.

    Tell me more. I recommend his book MMSLP a lot because it’s relationship and specifically marriage oriented, instead of PUA oriented. I find that it makes a nice addition to The Rational Male books. The TRM books are descriptive, MMSLP is prescriptive.

    Anyway, I’m interested in the sellout, I don’t keep up with things.


  111. True, I should not jump to conclusions but… if legit… disturbing. Very. What the hell is wrong with people? :/

    Anyway, I could not figure out how to take a pic on the sly. I will work on this. Stay tuned! Lol.

    Actually there is a restaurant in town that is usually filled with the virgin female kin of my babysitter’s tribe. It is pretty overwhelming, the Finnish lassies everywhere! A red pill guy’s dream come true!


  112. Artisanal Toad says:

    Yoga pants vs Harem pants

    Yoga pants- Modesty? These things were created so women could advertise their grooming preference. They display every detail, for good or bad. If she looks good they look great, if she doesn’t look good, everyone can see it and cringe. And women who should *never* wear yoga pants will do so in public because yoga pants are the in thing. And the truth is, anything else will make a fat girl look even fatter, so they don’t care.

    Harem pants- Modest and they don’t display detail at all. If she looks good they look good on her, but they have a tendency to make a woman’s ass look fat, so unless she’s thin… a woman who wouldn’t think twice about going out in yoga pants will refuse to wear harem pants.

    It’s counter-intuitive, but harem pants will give a woman a reason to think about how much food she’s eating while yoga pants won’t. And it helps to put big mirrors on the walls all over the house.

    Some might say they like the way their women look in yoga pants but don’t like the way harem pants cover them up. Either way the solution is simple- have them strip down to skin. Besides, harem pants go well with belly-dancing and that’s something women need to learn how to do.

    It just occurred to me, but that could probably be added to the list. Will she dance for him? If she’s somewhat attracted she might do it in private. But in public? I have seen women dance for the man they were with in public (not on a dance floor), but I have only seen it when she was so totally into him that she couldn’t see any other man and didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought.


  113. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That was quite a discussion we had going there. It gave me some insight into women. They are naturally evasive. Not that I would use the three date to extort sex but there has to be a limit. Billy Beta and Steady Eddie will date Jane Average till doomsday and they will get a handshake at the door. The first date with Alpha whatshisnaname and they will be an item. I think that women enjoy their superiority and want to keep their options open.
    At one time or another, all men will get the short end of generosity from a woman. Men don’t really recover from it. We get more skeptical.

    Liked by 2 people

  114. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    I watched it all . These women started a war with men and they are getting all their nourishment from the government teat. They have suborned all institutions to their end. Men have no one to ally with. I guess this is what women want. It gives them options.

    Liked by 1 person

  115. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A follow up to Bloom’s link from yesterday. It is for real.
    It is a shame that Chicago law enforcement is not taking this seriously.

    Liked by 2 people

  116. happyhousewifey says:

    @TheDeti: before reading the rest of the discussion. It is very much untrue in my country that the claim of abuse gets a man imprisoned. A man is officially equal by law, but policy in such a case is to get child protective services in place (blocking out BOTH parents) and to talk to the man. If it is anything short of clearly proven aggravated abuse (abuse with lasting physical damage), nothing happens. If she insists (policy is to dissuade her) on pressing charges if it is that serious, he will get 2 weeks. Of course if you do the same thing to a stranger, you get much more time. And our prisons aren’t scary like yours, assuming you are America . And that is without mentioning social pressures to keep things under cover. So I would in fact risk abuse. I do not think basing a relationship on just sexual attraction is a good idea. I think people wear rose tinted glasses when they like someone and it is important to get support from family before making any commitments. To me, sex is a commitment.

    And besides, even with laws like yours, it takes overruling simple human nature to apply them. I’m pretty sure both men and women stick with abusers despite having every upportunity to have them jailed. It is my nature to submit, and being married I learned that this is much more so when we’ve recently had sex. In my marriage I am not in control, and I’m pretty sure I would not be if I were married to another man. I’m lucky as can be having a good one.

    I don’t blame you for living by your rules, but I’m going to stick to mine either way (and by the sound of it, so did you kinda – you went through the trust process first so the first date was not really a first date, was it?)


  117. happyhousewifey says:

    Oh no wait, that was MGTOWHorseman who went through the trust thung first, sorry


  118. happyhousewifey says:

    Oh and to add – by no means do I think a man has to wait. He just has to wait for ME. I don’t care what he does in the mean time. Like I mentioned earlier, my husband had lovers during the time between us meeting and our marriage. Not a problem.

    American style dating is simultaniously too businesslike and too casual. Arranged marriages miss a crucial ingredient (the chemistry part). I like the middle road.

    And without brothers the rest of my family would still definitely have an opinion. Maybe those without family could gather reliable friends to help them out.


  119. happyhousewifey says:

    Oh I have an idea. How about the first night alone test? If she doesn’t have sex with you at the first possible time, NEXT!
    But don’t expect any traditional minded girls to spend unchapperoned time with strangers.


  120. Yoda says:

    More than one college banned references to the Late Great Harambe in 2016. Resident assistants at the University of Massachusetts warned students that “any negative remarks regarding ‘Harambe’” were “direct attack[s] to our campus’s African American community” and that certain Harambe jokes were “sexual assault incidences.” Clemson University banned “any reference to Harambe” from dorm spaces over concerns of “racism” and “rape culture.” A poster at Florida State University warned students that Harambe Halloween costumes were “cultural appropriation.” Note: Harambe is not a culture; he was a gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo.

    Liked by 1 person

  121. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I am not sure what the answer is but, it should be clear that what is passing for “dating” is a process that doesn’t work.
    I am glad that you found your husband.

    Liked by 2 people

  122. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t want to watch it it, but it is curious that it was first pulled because it was thought to be bogus. Someone is out to protect Black Lives Matter.


  123. SFC Ton says:

    The skypes are in full cover up for googles being googles mode


  124. SFC Ton says:

    Google comments in the various coment section seem to be very supportive of the googles who kidnapped and degraded the special needs White kid.

    Never forget that, never let your guard down around them


  125. A word on sluts from the Chateau:

    (Probably nsfw: adult language. The thin skinned should not wade into the comment section here either. But it breaks down the “to slut or not slut” conundrum…)

    Liked by 1 person

  126. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    While I can’t answer for anyone else, in reference to the “three date rule”, men are tired of being put in the “friend zone”. What men should do is reject this, turning on their heel when it is apparent.

    Liked by 2 people

  127. thedeti says:

    @ Artisanal TOad:

    “The fact is, the vast majority of women are not with a man they are highly attracted to and most have never been. We observe the phenomena of the “alpha widow” and that points to the fact attraction is both relative and subjective. It isn’t just that he was alpha, it’s that his flavor of alpha hit her attraction button just right and pushed it so hard she was like a slot machine that hit the grand jackpot. Very few women ever experience that.

    “In some ways I suspect this is similar to the derision many women have for the fact that sex is a physical need for men. With a testosterone level 15 times less than that of a man, they are ignorant of the truth, but when they have their testosterone levels raised to that of a man they gain understanding. After experiencing what men live with on a daily basis they say they can’t understand how men can control themselves.”

    This is key, and cannot be emphasized enough, especially the first sentence. Most women have to settle when they go to long term relationships. Most women settle and compromise on sexual attractiveness. Most women are not married to men they are highly attracted to. I’ll go one farther and say most women are not anywhere nearly as attracted to their husbands as they are/were to the men they used to fuck as younger women.

    I do think though that most women who have had premarital sex (which is just about all of them) have had that sex with at least one man who really pushed their buttons. There was some sex she had that was exciting and hot, and it was with an objectively more sexually attractive man than the man she eventually “committed” to.

    This is a huge mistake women make. Just huge. They are married to men they just aren’t all that sexually attracted to. Women hamster this at a million miles an hour. They meet some nice guy and hamsterize/rationalize themselves that because he’s so nice, and good, and willing to commit, that they ARE sexually attracted even when they’re not. And there usually is a little bit of attraction there. There’s just enough to prevent her from puking in her mouth while he fucks her; but not enough to build a 40 year marriage on.

    And the hamsterization/rationalization usually goes something like this:

    “I am a good person, and he is a good man. Since we are both good, and I like spending time with him, and he would make a good father, and he treats me well, I must be sexually attracted to him. Since I am a good person, and he is a good person, I must be sexually attracted to him. I wouldn’t be attracted to him if he weren’t good. I am not attracted to bad men (anymore). If I were (still) attracted to bad men, I would (still) be a bad person, and I’m not a bad person (anymore). Only bad girls are attracted to bad men, and I am not a bad girl (anymore). And my sexual attraction to a good man makes me a good person.”

    Here’s a variation on the hamsterization/rationalization process:

    “I am a good person, and he is a good man. Since we are both good, and I like spending time with him, and he would make a good father, and he treats me well, I will eventually become sexually attracted to him. Since I am a good person, and he is a good person, the sexual attraction will come eventually.

    “Even if I don’t become sexually attracted to him, that’s really not all that important. We have to get started on our lives, and he knows this just as well as I do. We have to get married, get a house, work our jobs, and have a baby(ies). We don’t really have all that much time for all that sexual attraction stuff. Plus, been there, done that, and relationships with those hot guys I used to fuck don’t work out that well. Besides, he knows all this and since he cares about me, doesn’t complain too much about sex, and is still here with me, he must obviously agree with me. And even if he doesn’t, well, he needs to grow up and man up and let go of all that sex stuff, because it’s just not all that important.”

    Liked by 1 person

  128. thedeti says:

    And I will make a prediction here.

    Every woman on this board will chime in and say that they are soooo hawt for their husbands; that their husbands are the best, most sexually attractive, most beautiful men they have ever seen; that they didn’t settle not one iota; and that that thedeti guy is full of shit.

    Yeah, OK. Just know that I call bullshit.

    Ladies, you all compromised. Every one of you. You all compromised on sexual attractiveness and you did so because you had no choice. It was either compromise or stay single. None of you married?LTR’d your first choices. You couldn’t have your first choices. All of you either had sex with or were insanely attracted to men before you met your husbands, and they were men you could not have for one reason or another.

    You all compromised.

    Liked by 1 person

  129. thedeti says:

    Re the four thugs in Chicago who kidnapped and tortured, bound and gagged, a disabled white man, terrorizing him and pelting him with racial slurs:

    Chicago police say it’s “too early” to tell whether this was motivated by racism.


    Good thing it wasn’t a hate crime.


    Liked by 2 people

  130. This sounds more like it:

    Jordan Hill, 18, of Carpentersville, is charged with aggravated kidnapping, hate crime, aggravated unlawful restraint, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, robbery, possession of a stolen motor vehicle and residential burglary.

    Tesfaye Cooper, 18, of Chicago, is charged with aggravated kidnapping, hate crime, aggravated unlawful restraint, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and residential burglary.

    Brittany Covington, 18, of Chicago, is charged with aggravated kidnapping, hate crime, aggravated unlawful restraint, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and residential burglary.

    Tanishia Covington, 24, of Chicago, is charged with aggravated kidnapping, hate crime, aggravated unlawful restrain and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

    Liked by 3 people

  131. thedeti says:

    Well, at least the prosecutors/charging personnel think it’s a hate crime.

    Liked by 1 person

  132. happyhousewifey says:

    TheDeti, all Toads rules for determining whether or not a woman is truly attracted to you are true for me, I would even share him. Mine actually has model looks, a chiseled face (not for a while, he has gone through an unhealthy period where he got overweight but bounced back again) and was an international champion of a martial art. I have never met anyone I was as attracted too. I can’t promise I won’t ever again, but I really didn’t settle. I lucked out. You don’t have to believe me.

    Liked by 1 person

  133. happyhousewifey says:

    And Toad don’t call BS because I said I don’t like the idea of being naked around another woman. I would, for him, just not gladly.

    Liked by 1 person

  134. thedeti says:

    “I really didn’t settle. I lucked out. You don’t have to believe me.”

    I don’t believe you.

    Liked by 1 person

  135. thedeti says:

    Incidentally, HHW, I just KNEW someone would chime in with pretty much what you said. I just didn’t think it would be that quickly.


  136. Ame says:

    TheDeti –

    do you think it’s ever possible for a woman to marry a man she is highly sexually attracted to? what if her only sexual experience is with the man she marries? do you think she can be sexually attracted to him and remain sexually attracted to him throughout a life-long marriage?

    i’m not trying to ask trick questions … i’m truly curious.


  137. thedeti says:

    @ Artisanal Toad:

    “Sex is the most common litmus test for attraction, but women have proved time and time again that they are willing to put out (while metaphorically holding their nose) until they’ve got the commitment they wanted, then he gets a dead bedroom.

    “Some women protest the three-date rule because they claim they are being pressured, but the fact is that if she’s highly attracted she is not being pressured”

    I just want to slow-clap this. It is absolutely true that women will put out for men they’re kinda sorta attracted to, there’s a little attraction there, and then once they’ve locked him down, it’s dead bedroom city.

    If a woman is highly sexually attracted to a man, she’ll have absolutely no problem at all having sex with him within the three date limit. Her entire rulebook is thrown out the window. She’ll do things she said she’d never ever do. She’ll crawl over broken glass to be with him. she’ll ditch her friends and lie to her parents. She’ll have the nastiest, dirtiest kinds of shake the plaster off the walls sex with him, at his place, her place, in public, anytime, anywhere, any position he wants.

    She’ll cheat on her boyfriend. She’ll cheat on her husband. She’ll murder her own children (See: Susan Smith). She’ll do anything he wants, anytime he wants, anywhere he wants, and wipe the cum off her lips with a smile on her face.

    There is nothing, NOTHING, a woman will not do for a man she’s highly sexually attracted to.


  138. thedeti says:

    @ Ame:

    “do you think it’s ever possible for a woman to marry a man she is highly sexually attracted to? what if her only sexual experience is with the man she marries? do you think she can be sexually attracted to him and remain sexually attracted to him throughout a life-long marriage?”

    I absolutely think it’s possible for a woman to marry a man she’s highly sexually attracted to. There are two women who used to post in the manosphere who have said they are very sexually attracted to their husbands. After interacting with them online, they have been consistent in their statements, and I have no reason to doubt the veracity of their very high sexual attraction to their husbands. I won’t tell you who they are in public but you can email me (ask Spawny to send you my email or i’ll go to your site) and i’ll tell you who they are.

    I just think it ‘s very rare for a woman to lock down a man she’s really hot for. Mostly it’s because there just aren’t enough of those men to go around to all the women who want one. Most men are not sexually attractive. They just aren’t. Most men are good providers and good men; but they aren’t sexy and they don’t inspire tingles.

    It’s also rare for a woman to lock down a man she’s really hot for, because she can’t outcompete all the other women around her. Every other woman is also hot for the men she’s hot for, and the attractive men are very aware of this, because they have average to pretty women literally throwing themselves at those men. Most women are not attractive enough and don’t offer enough value to lock down a highly attractive man. Most women cannot compete with the other women who also want those very attractive men. Those women themselves aren’t attractive enough to take that very attractive guy off the market. They’re good enough for sex; not good enough to commit to.

    If her only sexual experience is with the man she marries, it’s possible. But then, women have sex with men they’re only a little bit attracted to all the time, for the purpose of extracting commitment. Some attraction can grow and become “better”, but it’s not really sexual attraction — it’s bonding and building a life together, and being comfortable with each other. Those things do not make a man more sexually attractive to her. They make her more comfortable, which cause her to become more WILLING to have sex with him. But those are not the same thing as sexual attraction.

    Nearly all women confuse the comfort, bonding, intertwining lives and all the other “relationship” things as sexual attraction. But they’re not. Sexual attraction is “I really wanna fuck that guy”. That’s not what most women have with their husbands in long term marriages. Most women have comfort, deep love, life bound up with his, and even respect. But none of those things are hard, raw, visceral, feel it in the gut and the pussy, “I just HAVE to fuck that guy” sexual attraction. Which every woman has felt in her lifetime. And which most women do not have with their husbands.

    I have had sex with more than one woman in my life. I have seen a woman with me in the throes of sexual desire. It is like nothing I’ve ever seen before or since. The squaring up her body to mine, the jutting out her chest and immediately improved posture, the twirling of hair, the stroking the neck, the breathless speech, the heaving chest, the ripping off of clothes, the flushed face and upper chest area, the rapid breathing — they can’t be faked, at least not from what I’ve seen. I’ve also had sex with women who weren’t all that into it. You see NONE of that.

    I do think a woman can remain sexually attracted to a man during a lifelong marriage. That is the case if and only if she was very highly sexually attracted to him from the beginning of the relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

  139. thedeti says:

    Another thing you see in a woman who is really turned on is that she gets really, really wet and you can smell her… feminine aroma. Easily. That also cannot be faked. No lube required, either. With a woman who’s not all that turned on, lube is always required, because she’s just not all that excited about sex.

    Liked by 1 person

  140. Spawny Get says:

    Glad to see all the hate peeps are 18 or over. Time to make some examples and shut down this type of shit.

    Liked by 4 people

  141. Yoda says:

    Relieved to hear that the 18 years old they were.
    Probably thinking as such a hate crime it would be

    Liked by 4 people

  142. Exactly a spawny, tolerance of or coddling “minority” hate crimes has to stop. Period. Everywhere.

    Liked by 2 people

  143. Toad
    Used to be a regular at mmsl.
    The early stuff is great and cptn\1st is good but go on the forums.
    All his moderators are women (angeline, rpw, etc) and some male life coaches.

    The map was originally Male Action Plan. Very male self improvement like Rollos.
    Then he smelled money and changed it to Mutual Attraction Plan and started chasing the wives instead of the men. Cant blame him. As a business the wives gonna pay not the guys.
    But as true ideals…meh.

    P.s. I was horseman on the forums there and bjorn again. Had over a thousand posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  144. thedeti says:


    Excellent summary of Athol’s/MMSL’s trajectory. Early blog stuff was right on. Later purple pill/feminine imperative stuff, not so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  145. Ame says:

    TheDeti – my gmail is talkiname; you can find it at my site, too.

    interesting … i need to ponder all of this.


  146. Artisanal Toad says:


    I’m not calling BS, women only agree to a threesome because of the man, not because they want to be naked with the other woman. It’s easy for women to share a man’s bed if he’s attractive enough. Sharing a kitchen, bathroom and closet space requires women who can get along and managing all of that devolves to the man and his ability to lead and manage.

    Ton pointed out that only some men can handle that and it’s all about the ability to hold frame. I agree completely. Just because a man is highly attractive does not mean he is capable of being a cat-herder.

    Liked by 1 person

  147. BuenaVista says:

    This has been fun. Good to see that Deti’s experience and effort to provide general maxims is still met with “But I’m not like that!” by three chicks.

    Anyway, the “three date rule” that everyone is fascinated with, is a joke. Anyone who puts you on the three-date plan is going to have you on the once-per-month plan, once you’ve lost your agency. It’s fine with me if these women are anti-sex, because they can be anti- anything they wish. But they still haven’t comprehended what Deti’s said about 1800 times here: a woman who’s attracted to a man isn’t leaning back and saying, “Has it been three dates yet?” Try, “Has it been 120 minutes yet?”

    Contrary to feminist cant, men are the gateway to sex, as well as relationships.

    Liked by 2 people

  148. Ame says:

    “Just because a man is highly attractive does not mean he is capable of being a cat-herder.”

    or wants to be. i could see my husband having done that when he was younger, but (thankfully) he has no desire to manage that many women at one time now. i am not complaining about that at all b/c, you know, i hate to share my bathroom, my closet, my kitchen, my man 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  149. Cookies, anyone? 🍪🍪🍪

    Liked by 3 people

  150. Ame says:

    i have homemade cookie dough for chocolate chip, sugar, and gingerbread cookies in my freezer … can have fresh, homemade, warm cookies in 12 – 15 minutes! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  151. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    In the past, men dealt with this differently. This time around, they are talking to each other and finding out that there is a lot of similarity. I think women should worry.


  152. @ Fuzzie, I think women who have been betting on men not figuring it out are the ones who need to worry. But more likely they will just moan and complain, “where have all the good guys gone?”

    Liked by 1 person

  153. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that all women should worry. Men can’t tell the difference between allies and enemies.

    Liked by 2 people

  154. happyhousewifey says:

    LOL TheDeti! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Your theory is based on the underlying assumption that commitment is hard to come by. Commitment is difficult to get for women with a bad reputation, or with a bad social and family network, or city.

    I maintain: I have never been more sexually attracted to anyone else. Mine is the hottest guy on the block by far.

    Liked by 1 person

  155. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    There may be something else. While I am guessing, I don’t think that you had a lot of experience with men prior to being married. That would make for a more constant wife. Also, it minimizes making comparisons. What men have to contend with is an amalgam of all the best characteristics of a wife’s past sweethearts.

    Something is very different this time. To begin with, marriage is under attack. In 1960 seventy percent of adults were married. I think it has dipped below fifty percent and it is less than thirty percent of 20-34 year olds.

    Liked by 1 person

  156. happyhousewifey says:

    Fuzzy, my n-count is one. I have been around many non-family guys in highschool an never since (uni was child development, soooo many women and the odd gay guy), I was never into partying. So of course there is not much comparison, even now I don’t venture much farther than the playground and the local bakery (my husband actually enjoys going to the big grocery store to have some one on one time with kids). But I’ve seen no moviestars who are hotter than him either!

    Also Deti is mistaken on the lubrication issue. The type varies by the time in a womans cycle, the slippery slimey type of discharge you get when aroused comes naturally, with zero arousal during a womans most fertile time of the month. And after sexual arousal as a kind of leftover symptom. Better to read it off a face than off someones privates, I think 😉 Because just because she’s soaked doesn’t mean you’re the man.

    Liked by 1 person

  157. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that Deti should revise his conclusion. He must have based it on American norms, which would have presumed substantial experience with men prior to marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

  158. happyhousewifey says:

    There are many women here who live that way, too. I’d say most. It’s getting strange and old fashioned to even get married at all and villages grow to towns, towns grow to cities, families fall apart. He’s a bit of a prophet for the future I’m afraid.

    I simply couldn’t resist the call to NAWALT 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  159. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I believe that he is right for the most part and that is sad. As for NAWALT, there will always be exceptions.

    Liked by 1 person

  160. Yoda says:

    Many women called to this they are

    Liked by 1 person

  161. Spawny Get says:

    Late nights abound?

    Liked by 2 people

  162. RichardP says:

    This thread seemed to start out with the idea that sluttery is not to be desired, and damping down it’s occurance is a good idea. My comment here comes from that point of view. That is, I assume that most comments here come from the standpoint that men have sex with the ultimate aim of finding a good woman to make their wife. (Having sex for any reason other than that contributes to the creation of sluttery, which we have stipulated is not a good thing.)

    “If a woman is sexually attracted to a man, she will have sex with him by the third date.”

    Given that Deti says he is married, I am baffled by the intensity with which he is pushing that meme here. Let’s assume it is true. What does that have to do with finding a good woman to marry (or otherwise have a good long-term relationship with)? Having sex with him by the third date does means only that: She is sexually attracted to him. That truth says not a thing about whether that woman would be a good candidate for wife and mother. And, if you look, I think that you will find most borderline personality disorder women are reallllyyyy into sex. Can’t make a legitimate claim that these ladies make good wives and mothers. Having sex by the third date is NOT a useful indicator for whether a given woman will make a good wife and mother. Having said that, I do agree with the contention that, for there to be a good marriage, there must be some sexual tension between the parties.

    I would like to introduce a thought that is missing from this conversation: all of the points made in this thread are pretty much valid only for that time period after the pill was introduced. The natural state of women, pre-pill, was to pretty much be pregnant all the time. The reality is that most husbands weren’t getting that much sex from their wives in a mature marriage for all of history except for the last few years. Because their wife was pregnant (so no or little sex) and tired from taking care of children. And then comes menopause. It is a fallacy to state that husbands should rightly expect their wife to be sexually available to them at all times all through their marriage. That is not the natural state of husband and wife, pre-pill. Nature (or God) did not select for that state in women.

    So, considering the type of woman that nature selected for (or God created) – low-testosterone, constantly pregnant and tired from caring for children, so little or no sex for husband – how should we solve the problem of dead bedrooms?

    If you are honest, and if you think it through carefully (including reading up in areas where your understanding is not strong), nature selected for (or God created) women that would naturally lead to dead bedrooms. There is no solution to that this side of the Resurrection, except for multiple wives and concubines. I know there are exceptions to the rule, and there are marriages where sexual activity is vigorous throughout the marriage. But those are exceptions that prove the rule. For most of history, for men who have wanted a family and a cohesive social fabric, men have had to manage their sex drive in ways that did not destroy society. That burden of impulse control was placed on the men (self denial), not on the women. None of the comments in this thread reflect that reality.

    Liked by 1 person

  163. Spawny Get says:

    Richard, I’m busy and have not read all the comments…but I think you need to understand that (to the best of my knowledge, coming from reading his comments for years (maybe 6-8 years? is my guess)) Deti got the red-pill when his marriage started having major problems…he is married (TTBOMK). He can talk about how to keep a marriage functioning for the kids and wife because he’s doing that. He can talk about how he sees reality for single men. There’s no contradiction.


  164. RichardP says:

    I agree with HHW that the slipperiness of the slope depends on the time of the month. I learned that from the girl who became my wife long before we married. She would give me visual cues that we should probably be careful because she was ovulating (involved stretching something between the thumb and middle finger; HHW can describe that in greater detail if she wishes).

    Liked by 1 person

  165. RichardP says:

    Spawny – I was not bashing Deti (and I also have been reading him for a few years). I was commenting that he seemed to be saying that sex by the third date was a good way to choose a wife, and that common sense seems to indicate that is not a good way to pick a wife. I, too, need to go to bed. If I have misunderstood your comment to me, I will deal with that after I get up tomorrow (which is actually today already).

    Liked by 1 person

  166. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is one of my favorite animal videos.
    Yoda, they want you to bring the video.


  167. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Richard P,
    I think the contention is that only a woman who is head over heels will prove to be likely to remain married.

    Liked by 3 people

  168. Spawny Get says:

    a) good night (what’s left of it)
    b) I didn’t see an attack, I was just saying…
    c) I haven’t read everything either. But I’d be surprised if Deti was saying that marriage was recommended, maybe more that marriage without real desire is definitely not a good idea.

    But early sex being required as proof of desire but only marrying virgins (or you’re the only one who’s had sex with her) is going to narrow the odds of finding someone.

    Leaving us all to agree, I suspect, that the current situation is shite for all.

    Liked by 2 people

  169. SFC Ton says:

    I havent said much on this thread…. well thats about to end

    How to end dead bedroom

    Paint her back porch red and fuck her so hard you damn near break her pussy. Then fuck her again the next day when her baby maker is at maximum soreness, she’ll hate it and love you. Dead bed room is about a lack of masculine dominance in her life. Fuck that bitch to the point she walks bowlegged and things will get back to right

    Unless she has legit mental/ emotional issues, there is nothing mentally/ emotionally wrong with a woman that getting taken to pound town like a cheap whore won’t fix.

    Sex by the 3rd date…. I have had women tell me on the 1st date they can’t wait for the 3rd so we can fuck but here’s the deal…. I never needed to wait. I waited because of social conditioning. Once I started ignoring the 3 date rule I started getting laid in about 3 hours, sometimes less, sometimes times a little more, but the 3 date rule is about anti slut defense and preserving or “not a slut status”.

    How many of these girls have been hard core sluts? Probably very few. Porn industry would be dead if there was a large number of hard core cock Hounds. Most women aren’t sluts, which is why carousel riders depend on booze. They aren’t sluts per say, not by any modern definition.

    What are they? They are just women; caught up and carried away in the moment…… which is what women want. Drama and the dramatic. As in sudden, striking, moving etc.

    I have never had to use lube, often I can smell how wet they are from a few feet away. Course I don’t deal in women near menopause

    Liked by 2 people

  170. Spawny Get says:

    Ton, I’m almost sure that there’re potential legal issues with that approach. If they can call telling your wife that you can’t afford a new kitchen domestic violence, I’m pretty sure that redecorating the dwelling place’s entranceway is to be frowned upon. Just pointing that out before others consider the approach. The ways of the Ton may be best left to the Ton (allegedly)

    Liked by 2 people

  171. SFC Ton says:

    Who dares wins

    Liked by 1 person

  172. happyhousewifey says:

    LOL Spawny!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  173. happyhousewifey says:

    RichardP, constantly pregnant not so much with extended breastfeeding. And caring for little ones is exhausting in a nuclear family set-up, less so when you share a village with the extendeds.

    Liked by 1 person

  174. thedeti says:


    I am not saying that sexual attraction or testing for sexual attraction first is a good way to find a wife. What I am doing is recognizing the hard, cold reality that today, in today’s day and age, the only marriages which tend to be good ones and which actually work, are ones in which the wife is extremely sexually attracted to the husband, and always has been from literally the first moment she saw him.

    I didn’t create that reality or ask for it. I also don’t thrive in it, since I am not a conventionally sexually attractive man and never have been. All I am doing here is reporting the reality that unless she is really, really, REALLY sexually attracted, whatever relationship he can eke out is probably doomed to fail.

    Sexual attraction is necessary, but not sufficient by itself, for a LTR/marriage. I have already said that.

    I am pointing out that a very, very prevalent problem in today’s society is that most women are married to men they aren’t very sexually attracted to, or they aren’t attracted at all. Frankly, most women have this problem because of extensive premarital sexual experience, endless choice, entitlement mentalities, the elevation of women’s status above men’s status, and the fact that most men are just not sexually attractive.

    I am pushing this issue hard because it is really difficult to get people even to see that these are problems. I am pushing this issue hard because the only way to keep any kind of an LTR afloat is to make sure there is sexual attraction from her to him. I am pushing this issue hard because I want to help men avoid the problems I see, and help them avoid the problems I have had in my own marriage. I have been to the 9th circle of hell in my marriage, a big part of the reason for that was my own failures (as well as hers), and I don’t want other men to go through that.

    I have largely repaired the problems, and I do not ever intend to go through it again. That shit is never ever going to happen to me ever again, and it sure as fuck is not going to happen to my son.

    I do not recommend marriage today. But for those who intend to marry, I recommend that they follow my advice, and make sure that sexual attraction is clearly, unmistakably present. I do not agree with HHW that sexual attraction can be read on a woman’s face. Bullshit. Facial expressions can be feigned. IOIs can be faked. Sexual desire can’t be. The only way to make sure that sexual attraction is clearly unmistakably present is to make her put her body where her IOIs are.

    I didn’t ask for this reality. I only operate in it. Women asked for this reality. Women demanded the right to fuck whoever they want whenever and wherever they want. They got it. Women demanded full “equality” under the law. They have it. Women have full agency to bear all the consequences of their decisions, including who they fuck.

    Women don’t get to hang back and say “oooh, ooh, we have to revert back to old gender norms!! SPend time on me! Spend money on me! Be a gentleman! Show me your commitment bona fides! If you’re really interested in me, you can wait!”

    Fuck that. Women dont’ get to have it both ways.

    Here’s how it should be now. Men should be saying “if you’re really interested in me, if you really want me, if you really think I’m worth spending time on, then PROVE IT. I am not waiting. You need to give me some things I want, if I’m going to spend my time with you. You say you’re interested in me as a potential husband/boyfriend/partner? PROVE IT. Put your body where you claim your interest is. You aren’t getting my time, my money, or my exclusivity unless and until I get something I want.”

    That, sir, is why I am pressing this so hard, and am so adamant that men need to start withholding time, money, commitment, attention, and exclusivity from women. Even from wives who start fucking over, shafting and taking advantage of their husbands.

    Liked by 6 people

  175. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t know. From what I am hearing from men in the trenches, Tinder has dialed hypergamy up a whole order of magnitude. Even what you advise may not be enough, given that attraction can be feigned.


  176. Ame says:

    “Course I don’t deal in women near menopause”

    wise man … we’re a hot mess! why any man would want a peri-menopausal/menopausal woman is beyond me! 🙂


  177. Ame says:

    this has been a great thread. thanks for the candidness.

    Liked by 3 people

  178. Spawny Get says:

    On a somewhat slightly lighter subject, does anyone else laugh while watching Zoolander? I know that I have a very weird sense of humour but I quite like the first film. I watched both of them over the last couple of nights. The second one fell somewhat flat in the second half, but I laughed my socks off at a couple of points in the first half. No spoilers so I’ll just say Aqua Vitae…though there were a few other points.

    Liked by 1 person

  179. thedeti says:


    The first Zoolander was quite funny. Haven’t seen the second one.

    Liked by 3 people

  180. Spawny Get says:

    I wouldn’t rush but I saw it on Sky movies as a freeby. The reviews were horrible so I only ‘accidentally’ took a chance. As I say, there were a couple of big laughs, you’ll know ’em when you see ’em.


  181. thedeti says:

    Richard P:

    “If you are honest, and if you think it through carefully (including reading up in areas where your understanding is not strong),”

    Chill the fuck out on your condescension.

    “nature selected for (or God created) women that would naturally lead to dead bedrooms.”

    That might have been, but it’s not now. Not when we have a plethora of middle aged single and divorced women, most of whom had children by first husbands who they’ve divorced, and which women are out there returning to the carousel.

    “There is no solution to that this side of the Resurrection, except for multiple wives and concubines.”

    Society used to recognize that. It doesn’t now. Society used to constrain women’s sexual conduct and let men’s have more or less free reign. That situation is now COMPLETELY reversed.

    “I know there are exceptions to the rule, and there are marriages where sexual activity is vigorous throughout the marriage. But those are exceptions that prove the rule.”

    Eh. Used to be a man had sex with his wife, whether she liked it or not, whether she wanted to or not. There was no such thing as “Marital rape”. If a man wanted sex, he made his desire plain, and if wife wasn’t projectile vomiting or dead on her feet from taking care of the kids and everything else, she obliged him — mostly because most women actually fucking cared a little bit about their husbands even if their pussies weren’t gushing for desire; and mostly because those women respected those men they had chosen to marry. That was those women’s role, they knew it, they owned it, and they accepted the consequences of their choices.

    That was, of course, back when women were actually fucking held accountable and responsible for their choices and conduct.

    “For most of history, for men who have wanted a family and a cohesive social fabric, men have had to manage their sex drive in ways that did not destroy society.”

    Men STILL have to do that. Women used to have to do that too. Because when women dont’ manage their sex drives, they go out and fuck the hottest guys they can for as long as they can. Which is what is happening now. Because they can.

    Men have to manage their sex drives. Women don’t have to. So they don’t.

    Liked by 4 people

  182. thedeti says:

    There has never been a time in human history, or a society in human history, before now, in which there are literally millions of unmarried women between ages 30 and 50 out there having casual sex with very attractive men, and who aren’t having sex with husbands.

    That’s having a huge impact on society and is really demoralizing a lot of men.

    Liked by 5 people

  183. Linny says:

    Okay, the quicker to sex the better, is what you are saying. Okay, so how does that answer Farm Boy’s question of how to reduce the number of sluts?

    I can see how if N-count doesn’t matter to you this is a perfectly good way of going about things. But if N-count does matter what are the women supposed to do?

    Liked by 2 people

  184. I think Ton has touched on this before, but agreed attraction is key and that a man who wants to be in a LTR or even a plate spinner should do all he can to be as attractive as he can be, just as a woman should. I know not every woman is a 10, or even can be, just like not every guy will be George Cloney or whomever, but paying attention to clothing, hygiene, fitness level, etc. will improve attraction from the female end. And as Ton has said, it’s not for the girl, it’s about self improvement — for himself, and the girls being attracted is a bonus.

    Also, what Ton describes may not be every gal’s cup of tea but I will agree that women who feel a man thinks she’s hot, that HE wants to bang her so bad, well that turns a gal on. Maybe it’s a solipsism thing. So I think this is why the more aggressive, more forward approach flips a gal’s switch, so to speak. I am not sure I am explaining that well… but hopefully it comes across.

    A guy who values himself, sees himself as a prize, who is confident, working his angles to his optimum advantage… girls like that. Hence, game.

    I have told this story before, but in the late 90s I worked at a tech company where we had this IT manager who was I am not kidding NOT much to look at, not tall, not not buff, not necessarily stylish but somehow that guy had the two hottest single gals (and 8+ years younger than him to boot!) in the office competing for his attention! He was smart, and he talked a good talk, and he knew how to work the gals emotional switches, and he was having much more success than much better looking guys who did not have confidence and game and that “bad boy she could maybe tame” edge.

    And I have had guys say, “well, I just don’t want to work that hard.” And that’s OK, but realize that the ladies won’t be dropping the panties on a dime, and that’s just the way it is. Men somewhat have to peacock, strut, play themselves up, and have that ZFG “you know you want me” thing going in order to get that level of attraction.

    Anyway, I am not sure I have explained this well but there it is… game works. And attraction is a game in so many ways.

    There is always room for improvement, and keeping things fresh and shaking it up and etc… the ladies like that! 🙂 And really, it’s more fun for everyone I would think… why not?

    Liked by 3 people

  185. Sex and attraction SHOULD be fun, and hot, and exciting. It’s like the good stuff, yes? Like the hot fudge of life! 😀 That’s why everyone thinks about it so much, and why men and women bother with each other at all! It really is a game, and when it’s played well, everyone wins!

    Liked by 2 people

  186. Ame says:

    that is so scary, Deti … the ramifications of this are going to be generational and widespread, and not just for men.

    Liked by 2 people

  187. FNU MNU LNU says:

    dude if she is who you truly want, then f’n tell her.

    Liked by 1 person

  188. thedeti says:

    >Okay, the quicker to sex the better, is what you are saying. Okay, so how does that answer Farm Boy’s question of how to reduce the number of sluts?

    This might sting a bit.

    1) Women ditch men they aren’t sexually attracted to. Women refuse to marry men they aren’t attracted to, even if they are 38 years old and the bio clock is roaring like a freight train. TOUGH FUCKING SHIT. OWN YOUR DECISIONS.

    2) Go back to the mating/dating dance. He gives her a little something, she gives him a little something. He gives her a little more, she gives him a little more. She gives him the booty IF AND ONLY IF they get engaged. He gives her exclusivity, she gives him all the booty on the condition that they’re now engaged and going to get married. Go at it in increments.

    Women, fucking expect something from the guys you fuck. Don’t give it up without getting something. Have some goddamn self-respect.

    Sure, they’re fucking premaritally. But they’re going to get married. And he’s not getting out of it without extreme shame because his word means shit and he’s a piece of shit cad. And if she tries to get out, she’s stupid and immature and slutty, and it’ll be a long time if ever before any man invests time and money in her.

    If he wants to fuck sluts, fine. Let him fuck sluts and whores and prostitutes. He is pushed to society’s fringes and he wont’ get married.

    If she wants to fuck cads and players and hot guys, fine. She can do it all she wants. But she’s not getting married and she’s on her own.

    3) If you are having trouble finding men, then one or more of the following things is happening.

    –you are not attractive enough to attract men of sufficient value to both fuck and extract commitment from. You need to get more attractive.

    –You got more attractive, but still aren’t attracting the men you want. You are being unrealistic. Lower your standards.

    –You don’t want to lower your standards. TOUGH SHIT. You now have three choices: (1) lower your standards, accept what you can get and be happy with it; (2) spinsterhood, or (3) sluthood. Make your goddamn choice, own it, and don’t complain.

    –you’re a cunt. Stop being a cunt.

    –you suck at picking men. Ask for help.

    –you live in an area where there are not very many men. You need to move to a locale where there are more marriageable men.

    –you are not putting yourself out there to meet men. Get past your shyness, get out of mom’s house, go meet people, and go do something.

    And if you can’t find a man you’re not sexually attracted to for marriage, if you really can’t find one, well, then, it’s not really all that important to you. You’re not willing to do what it takes. Because pretty much any woman, if she sets her mind to it, can find a man willing to have sex with her and marry her. EVERY WOMAN I have ever known who wanted to get married, except two, was able to get married. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

    You might have to move. You might have to go somewhere else. You might have to ask your father and other older male relatives to help you. You might have to swallow your pride (and stop swallowing cum). You might have to adjust your expectations.

    >I can see how if N-count doesn’t matter to you this is a perfectly good way of going about things. But if N-count does matter what are the women supposed to do?




    Liked by 2 people

  189. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It goes deeper than Deti describes. Women are hot for illicit sex with guys out of their league while those who are and would be husbands do not get licit sex. It has gotten to the point of being a bad tired joke. What women have forgotten is that marriage is a haven for them and that men can get by being celibate for a long time. we are used to it.


  190. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thanks for the “pep talk” but Tinder has done a number on the sexual marketplace. It has to be seen to crash.


  191. SFC Ton says:

    The Ton loves Tinder

    Talk about a mirror reflecting

    Liked by 2 people

  192. SFC Ton says:

    This is the man o sphere…. who gives a shit about what women are to do?

    Women are feral, our society is crashing. There are no socially acceptable large scale answers. Especially if said answers are to acceptable to womenz

    Liked by 1 person

  193. Yes Deti, all that is very true!

    If I were a guy, I wouldn’t want a dead bedroom, you’re just a wallet, disagreeable, drama gal either. So absolutely, women need to take an honest look at themselves, be realistic, be bring goodies to the table too, caring about HIS needs and wants not just her own. Nobody wants to be a means to an end, used, taken advantage of, in a one sided relationship, etc. totally agreed.

    And most women don’t get that. And they need to. For sure! If a gal expects commitment, she needs to be committed to making things work both ways, not just her way. And if she finds it, she should treasure his commitment and spoil him and be honored he wants to commit to her. Appreciate him, respect him, treasure him and you’ll both be happy! It really should not be that hard to see this, but far too many women today don’t. Agreed.

    It would piss me off too, if I were a guy!

    Liked by 2 people

  194. Spawny Get says:

    First step is to revisit who gets to vote.

    Liked by 1 person

  195. thedeti says:

    –You don’t want to lower your standards. TOUGH SHIT. You now have three choices: (1) lower your standards, accept what you can get and be happy with it; (2) spinsterhood, or (3) sluthood. Make your goddamn choice, own it, and don’t complain.

    This place right here is where a lot of women find themselves, then as now. It used to be that most women chose (1), and steeled their resolve to be happy with it. A few women chose (2) or (3), and they resolved to make the best of that as well.

    Now, what women do is, whatever choice they make, they bitch and complain about it endlessly. Most women are still choosing (1), with the burden of having past sexual experiences, and their anger and resentment that they couldn’t get one of those more attractive guys to wife her up. They can’t be happy with it, because they know what they’re missing (or think they do). They can’t be happy with it, because they have media and social media blaring endless choices at them. They can’t be happy with it, because they’re constantly distracted with everything, from TV, to fingerfucking their iPhones, to working their meaningless jobs.

    The few who choose (2) don’t seem happy either. And just about all women chose (3) before they chose (1); and wish they could go back to (3) with the comfort of (1).

    The problem is they’re bitching and complaining All. The. Time.

    Make your choices and fucking accept them and make the best of them.

    Liked by 3 people

  196. Ton, I don’t mean to be all about the womenz needs, I guess I am just trying to reveal the workings under the hood a bit, it’s as you know easy to work women if a guy gets inside her head to his advantage. And if she’s not playing nice, he can move on to another, her loss!


  197. I totally get that Deti, mostly thanks to all you guys explaining the tactical reality on the ground! Sometimes over and over!

    I know gals who are married and acting just as you describe and where before I did the typical, “understanding friend” thing before, now I will flat put point it out to them that they are wrong to treat their good man that way and that good men are hard to find, so get it together gal, you are making everyone miserable w that attitude! Seriously, I straight up tell them they need to make it work, focus on the good things, stop picking it apart, stop being so immature, etc. You should see the look of shock, but often later they thank me! I try anyway!

    Liked by 3 people

  198. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I haven’t heard them complain. What I have seen is, when I was internet dating, they don’t respond to a message. I think that a lot of them are choosing to be spinsters. Their minimum standards can’t be met except by guys who want short term.

    Thanks for trying to see it from guy’s side. We are not all that unreasonable.

    Liked by 1 person

  199. And I truly appreciate you guys sharing it, so I could learn! You guys have helped me grow so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  200. thedeti says:

    and here’s what men need to do.

    1) Resign yourself that you are not going to get legally married. The most you will ever do, ever, is have an LTR with one or more women, the obligations of the parties to which will be outlined in a WRITTEN contract.

    2) Don’t even think about LTRs until you’re at least 28 years old. Before then, you have very little sexual and relational market value anyway. At this point you don’t have a lot to offer a woman relationally.

    3) Spend your time until you’re 28 on your mission. Get really good at it. Make money. Don’t think about women. Pussy should not occupy minimal time and consume minimal effort. Until you’re 28 or so, women are a fun hobby, like mountainbiking or hiking or whatever else you like spending spare time on. You chase and catch women, you have a little fun with them, and then you stop and go do something else you want to do. If you can get a fuckbuddy or a friend with benefits, get one. Just don’t catch feels. Fuck sluts when you can, don’t worry about it too much when you can’t. Your sexual market value is rising, if you’re doing it right. Don’t cash it in too soon.

    4) Ruthlessly next women. If she’s resisting, next. If you have any doubts at all about her feelings for you, next. If she’s consuming too much time, next. If she starts flipping shit at you, any shit at all, next. If she’s a hassle in any way, next. If she’s demanding anything more than hanging out or having a good time, next. If she’s demanding commitment, next.

    5) Remember: It is YOUR job to sell her on why she should have sex with you. It is HER job to sell you on why she should be the only girl you have sex with.

    6) Get sexually attractive. Get competent in Game. Learn female nature and female IOIs. Lift weights, don’t get fat or flabby, and eat clean. Look your best.

    7) The number one problem with men at this stage is that they aren’t sexually attractive and they aren’t interesting.

    They don’t go anywhere, they don’t do anything, they don’t have any interesting pastimes or pursuits, and they don’t have any interesting stories to tell.

    They are fat fucks who don’t eat well, don’t lift, and don’t take care of themselves.

    They don’t have any male friends, or the male friends they do have are weirdos, freaks, nerds or losers.

    Get some good male friends to hang out with and do things with. Limit female friends unless you’re not sexually attracted to them, you can meet women through them, or you are FwBs with them. Go do things that are generally interesting. (Model railroading, World of Warcraft, video games, and watching TV are not ‘interesting’. You need to do INTERESTING things.)

    Liked by 2 people

  201. thedeti says:

    “Pussy should not occupy minimal time and consume minimal effort”

    Should be

    Pussy should occupy minimal time and consume minimal effort


  202. @ fuzzie, I have thought (if I wasn’t already so busy w my biz) that it would be interesting to start a biz helping guys navigate the online dating stuff to improve connect rates. Like help writing a profile, take good photos, help w some clothes/haircut/peacocking stuff. I couldn’t advise on game necessarily bc guys need a guy to help w that part I think, but I think there might be a need for help w guys in the “branding/packing/marketing” to optimize his attributes and play them up in a way women are attracted to. Of course I’d be happy to help anyone here for free, but I do think it might actually be a service that could be helpful and improve a guy’s odds of standing out in the online dating world!

    Liked by 1 person

  203. Ame says:

    it’s interesting when i introduce the concept to women that if they have wants and needs that they like a man to fulfill, why is it so difficult to understand that he, too, has wants and needs that he wants her to fulfill? then you see this lightbulb come on, and it’s like they’ve never even thought of that before. hello?!

    Liked by 4 people

  204. Linny says:

    Deti, I agree with you 100%. Honestly, I do.

    But there are guys who are laughing at me because of the 3 date rule. Telling me that is not realistic. They are counting down to sex in hours if not minutes. What guy is going to offer to get engaged even by date 3 never mind hours or minutes.

    I don’t have a horse in this race so it is actually just academic for me. I have always tried to be realistic about myself, I have always known that I am a long way from top tier. So men at that level have never been in my sights. Not even in my fantasies.

    My ex was out of my league, he was probably a 7 or maybe even an 8 but he asked me out and led the way through it all. If I told you why he chose me you would laugh your ass off. I was pregnant with our first child when he told me the truth of the matter. It cut me to the core but even I can laugh about it now. I stayed for 17 years and as I said before I would probably still be there if not for children.

    My short term relationship was someone more in my league and I did indeed feel attraction for him but still held out until date 4 or maybe 5 some things you just rather forget. It ended because he really was not the person he presented in the beginning. I consider that a bullet dodged.

    I have been in this LTR for over 25 years and will be until death do us part. I felt and still feel attraction for my partner. Sometimes that attraction over whelms me and makes me feel very sad because I am in monk mode and will be til it ends.

    I believe that the young should be given education about this but because of the difference in opinion that exists I don’t know what to say to my grandchildren. At least in the sense that they might believe what I have to say is valid and not a reflection of the generation I grew up in.

    Liked by 3 people

  205. Yoda says:

    why is it so difficult to understand that he, too, has wants and needs that he wants her to fulfill?


    Liked by 2 people

  206. Ame says:


    only if he gets to see them, a lot, and play with them, a lot … … … 🙂


  207. Ame says:

    Deti – curious … does ‘deti’ mean something?


  208. Artisanal Toad says:


    “There has never been a time in human history, or a society in human history, before now, in which there are literally millions of unmarried women between ages 30 and 50 out there having casual sex with very attractive men, and who aren’t having sex with husbands.”

    Actually, that isn’t true.

    In the time of the patriarchs, the land was overrun with temple whores. One of the hints we see is in the story of how Tamar got pregnant by her father-in-law, Judah (Genesis 38:14-21). Long story short, Tamar put a veil over her face, which was evidently the signal that she was a “temple prostitute.” The Baal and Ashtaroth worship was all about fertility, which translates to “worship” that involved fucking.

    We all know fucking is how we get babies and all that fucking produced unwanted babies, which is how the people got Molech worship. Don’t want that kid? Give the child to Molech. There was a ceremony and the idol of Molech had a really hot fire under it and when the baby was placed in Molech’s hands, the child curled up in pain and dropped into the fire and was consumed. The heat was such that it fried the kids lungs so they couldn’t even scream.

    Problem solved and the women went back out to fuck some more random men.

    Back then the whores were from the temples of Baal and Ashtaroth; today the whores come out of the temples of learning, the school system. Back then the unwanted babies were disposed of in the temples of Molech, today they are disposed of in the abortuaries of planned parenthood. Back then there were the priests of Baal and Ashtaroth who encouraged the people to fuck like bunnies. Today we have the cult of secular humanism with its priesthood of psychology and the high priestesses of Hollywood who encourage women to go out and fuck like bunnies. Madonna, for example.

    The difference is that back then women needed men and men had power. Today we have a situation in which men have created a paradigm that allows women to thumb their noses at men. Technology and automation allows women to earn a living independent of men and women control the social order that has men enforcing a system of law that allows women to be safe.

    As Don Draper put it, “I’m not here to tell you about Jesus. You either have Him in your heart or you don’t.”

    Isaiah 3:12 perfectly describes where we are today. Children (think the Chicago Four) are the oppressors of the people. Women rule over the people and the leaders confuse the direction of everyone’s path. In the following verses the women are described and try telling me that isn’t a good description of what we see today. Then God decides He’s going to take the women down and put them in the dirt. And He does. That’s when you get to Isaiah 4:1-2, which says “And seven women shall lay hold of one man in that day, saying ‘we will eat our own food and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name, take away our reproach.” And in that day the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful.”

    The “Branch of the Lord” is a reference to the church, which makes that a prophesy that hasn’t been fulfilled yet. The “eat our own food and wear our own clothes” part means they can support themselves… but… they need a man who will give them his name.

    I’d say we’re pretty damn close to seeing that prophesy fulfilled because the feminist pressure against men continues to build and when it breaks and the pendulum swings the other way it won’t be pretty. I think many here can remember a time when… if the man John Jones married a woman, she was afterward known as “Mrs. John Jones” to all and sundry. Her identity was subverted into his. That will be coming back in a big way.

    “only give us your name and take away our reproach.”

    “Who bitch this is?” is just the opening line for this opera.

    Liked by 3 people

  209. happyhousewifey says:

    Deti, I enjoyed being contrary as much as I could be and respected you, but what’s with the hate against playing with trains? Why so harsh?!
    (Apart from little ones I don’t actually know anyone who likes this, but really, what’s with judging anothers hobby, some people don’t need as many stimuli to get excited!)


  210. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    If internet dating worked, it might make sense to “tune up” the profile. The problem is that ninety percent of guys only last three months. There is something terribly wrong because, on the face of it, it should work. One of the statistics that blew me away came via Tinder. Men have to accept eighteen times more women to get the same number of matches as women.

    Liked by 2 people

  211. happyhousewifey says:

    It’s a complot to give men repetitive strain injury and get more women in IT.

    Liked by 2 people

  212. happyhousewifey says:

    Sorry, conspiracy, not complot (forgot to translate)

    Liked by 2 people

  213. Artisanal Toad says:


    Out of curiosity, is your partner female? That isn’t judgment on my part, just a question.

    As to why your husband chose you, would it have something to do with a song by Jimmy Soul?


  214. happyhousewifey says:

    I hope my sons find true love when they grow up.

    And if not that, at least keep their offspring by their sides.

    Liked by 1 person

  215. Spawny Get says:

    Speaking of complots. Putin’s plot unmasked

    Liked by 2 people

  216. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liked by 2 people

  217. Yoda says:

    A new post there is

    Liked by 1 person

  218. SFC Ton says:

    Women do not give men good advice, especially regarding getting laid

    Liked by 5 people

  219. Linny says:


    My partner is male. I refer to him as my partner because I was piled on because I used the word husband when I am not legally married to him. I never thought about people thinking the gender thing. Guess I’ll have to start using SO or does that still leave me open. Or should I use my common law husband. If two lesbians marry is one considered the husband? I don’t think I know any lesbians.

    Life was easier for me when some things were kept in the closet.

    I don’t know who Jimmy Soul is, I’m not good at music questions. I doubt anyone would do a song about the reason. Maybe a rom/com or something.

    Liked by 2 people

  220. Cill says:

    Yoda at 1:46 am :

    Bob Hawke

    Bob was a Labour polly with a trade union background but I have to admit the bastard was a good bloke. I don’t know if it still stands, but Bob held the world record for speed-drinking a yard of beer. He set it whilst a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University in England. Bob was a blokes’ bloke (not to be confused with a “bloke’s bloke”).

    Liked by 3 people

  221. Cill says:

    Aussie men know, Bob didn’t put on that beer-drinking thing as an act. That’s Bob right there.

    My dad was an Aussie. My dad was not a Labour man, yet I heard him say he respected Bob Hawke. I knew there and then, Bob must be something special.

    Liked by 3 people

  222. Cill says:

    Even an ocker as dyed in the wool as Choicy will admit he has a sneaking admiration for Hawke.

    Liked by 2 people

  223. happyhousewifey says:

    If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, go for my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you

    Liked by 2 people

  224. Spawny Get says:

    HHW…I don’t think that’s going to work. In many cases the pretty face is the only reason that we are interested in hanging out with a woman in the first place. Might as well go spend time with male mates who have similar interests and disinterests instead. Unless you want kids, I guess. But who wants ugly and/or stupid kids?

    If there’s no sex with a pretty woman on offer, why bother with this shit?

    Let women speak unto women and leave the men the hell alone.

    The appropriate answer to ‘how did your day go?’ is ‘fine’ or ‘I need a beer’. Not an hour long rambling trip through minutiae real and imagined and telling you of the same ‘problems’ that you’ve been hearing about for months that she can’t be bothered to fix. If she can’t be bothered to fix them then he shouldn’t need to hear about them. They’re just whining and drama seeking behaviours which men hate. Tell it to your girlfriends and gay BFF because the man don’t care (and trust me, he doesn’t care as soon as he realises what’s going on).

    Men and women are different. In the good old days, once the meal was eaten, the women withdrew to the drawing room. Some people believe it was named that because women ‘withdrew’ from the males so that the men could talk about important stuff like beer and football. But actually ‘drawing room’ comes from the Olde English term for ‘room where women can witter at each other absent the suffering of the men’. (allegedly)

    Bon weekend 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  225. happyhousewifey says:

    I was quoting the Jimmy Soul song!
    Read your essay out loud to my husband just now, made my day!

    Liked by 2 people

  226. happyhousewifey says:

    All the women in my family used to put that song on loud and dance around the drawing room LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  227. Maybe it’s the insomnia talking, but this is funny:
    (This guy gets banned daily so sorry if it disappears…look quick…lol)

    Liked by 1 person

  228. A funny parody account I think sme of you may enjoy! Humor can be a great way to poke at the issues…


  229. Linny says:


    I actually do know that song! Wow, that’s an old song or at least the version I know is.

    And no, Toad, that is not the reason although I am a pretty good cook.

    Liked by 1 person

  230. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You need to get some sleep.

    Farm Boy,
    This thread is still live. If you need to write anything that will get atttention, put “slut” in the title.

    Liked by 1 person

  231. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A little off topic. Girl has sex with the football team and cries “Rape!”.Police investigate, no merit. Football team suspended anyway. Will not play at the bowl game which will cost $2.8 million in lost revenue. This woman should be sued by all the parties.

    Liked by 1 person

  232. True story of everything thge Deti said.

    Knew the Mrs in high school. Good solid girl, intelligent, friendly.
    Just nothing happened (ok I was a teenage horndog)

    Went to college. Got the slut out of my system.
    After being nice guy learned
    A. The power of Next
    B. Exactly what I wanted. Companion, mother of my kids, girl who can get her hands dirty.

    4 years go by. Remet her.
    First date she stayed over.
    6 days later got engaged.
    Year later married at 24.
    Raised two kids both engaged before 22.
    Been married 10,324 days

    Contol your actions.
    Demand quality.
    Next ruthlessly

    Liked by 2 people

  233. Friend at work wanted advice on screening men for a LTR

    A. She is her exe’s second wife.
    B. First kid at 32, second at 34.
    C. Kinda chunky, plain.
    D. Turned 40
    E. Two kids, 6 and 8 and a live in elderly mother and badboy ex.

    I just looked at her very slowly and said
    “What men?”

    The truth is out there.
    Everyone, women and men need to hear it.

    Liked by 3 people

  234. Hhw.
    My mrs is what gramps called a “handsome woman”
    Cute but not beautiful. Pretty but not glamourous.
    Looks good at 50 as 25 cause she accepts wrinkles as character.

    An ugly woman knows she is ugly so is easily falls into the pit of self hatred and brings others along.

    And a long marriage is helped by bending her over the kitchen counter in the 5 minutes before work. She still works at being pretty and I take action on the pretty.

    Liked by 2 people

  235. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Your friend from work believes that ll she has to do is put up an internet dating profile and the men will line up at her door bringing her flowers and chocolates wearing top hat and tails.

    Liked by 1 person


    Would NOT happen at my facility!
    I make these calls but I would break the rules for this. Hold her spot til both are ready.

    Without her he will die within weeks. At that age you are living FOR something, in this case her.
    Many residents die in the first month because moving to LTC removes what they were holding on for.

    P.s. we had 4 generations inour house. Me, mrs and the kids downstairs, inlaws upstairs, nana at 90+ in 3rd floor apartment for years. Happiest time in kids life. Dotted on. Gave Nana a reason to come down for tea.

    Liked by 3 people

  237. Fuzz
    Nice girl….not a hope. Consequences!

    Liked by 1 person

  238. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t know how reality affects women. I think a lot of them thrive on wishful thinking.

    Liked by 2 people

  239. Agreed. Word choice is important. Wants help to “screen” men.
    Kinda gets past bad choices but gets to screen?

    To paraphrase Jayne
    “Nothin…minus nothin…carry the nothin…”

    Liked by 2 people

  240. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Well, you did help her. You gave her an honest assessment of what she can expect the
    SMP to be like for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  241. Linny says:


    You are my hero.

    Re: your facility.

    Liked by 1 person

  242. Linny says:

    Do you think there is a correlation between a person’s SMV when young and the chance they will eventually divorce? Even if they do not age well.

    Do you think less attractive people have a better chance of a lasting LTR?

    If you think about it a woman with a lower SMV is likely to be more submissive and to stay in a relationship that is not perfect (in her eyes) simply because she knows she has less options than higher SMV women.


  243. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As to value affecting divorce, I don’t know. What I do know is that wealthy people hate divorce. It destroys capital which they try very hard to accumulate and preserve.
    I have read posts from guys who said they used to try to date middle of the road girls because they thought they would avoid attitude. They said it doesn’t work anymore.


  244. SFC Ton says:

    Why would anyone man think about low value women?


  245. happyhousewifey says:

    I don’t think looks and divorce are related that way Linny, I used to have quite a few model friends and they were usually sweet shy girls. The stereotype that pretty equals attitude is just wrong. I do think prettified (as opposed to naturally pretty – fake lashes hair extensions and such tyle girls) have more attitude.


  246. Linny says:


    Why? Maybe because he is not top tier himself. Are you saying that there are so many high SMV women out there that the lower SMV women have no chance of finding or getting any man.

    I personally know many couples who have been married for 20,30 even 40 years and they are both about the same SMV and were when they married. These are people of average looks.

    I am not suggesting a high SMV man go fishing in the bottom of the pond. But if an average guy chooses a woman who is the same level or a bit lower he may have an advantage in the situation. I think the person with the higher SMV will always have the advantage.

    I know it is natural for men to aim as high as they can. And as men age their status and wealth often grow making them a good catch for a high SMV woman. I see this as dangerous for men because as long as the woman retains her high SMV she can rule shall we say. She has the advantage of being able to find another man and get a big chunk of man number one’s wealth. So it is win win for her.


    People with money do not like to part with it. But usually these people marry within their own social group and they all play by the same rules. Money marries money and they stay that way and just do whatever they want on the side.

    I just wonder if the man were to be the higher SMV in the couple if there would be less divorce. I am not talking about couples made up of two top tier people just average people.

    Liked by 1 person

  247. Linny says:


    Yes, I can see what you are saying. If a woman manipulates her looks then she probably would manipulate people as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  248. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t know but, with hypergamy as a given, it is more likely the man will have higher value. In all honesty, I think the single greatest determinant is the level of commitment from the woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  249. SFC Ton says:

    The better looking girls have been the best tempered in my experience

    Even shows via comments on the interwebz

    Liked by 1 person

  250. Linny says:


    A woman’s SMV is mainly her looks. Where as with men power, status, wealth and such are added into the equation. So many times the woman can look higher value. And I realize that this can add to the man’s value in the sense that he has what it takes to reel in a high SMV woman. But in a divorce the woman has the chance to take away a lot of the man’s value.

    But you are right commitment to the marriage (both woman and man)will be the most important determinant. Maybe we should pay more attention to the rich and use their rules.


  251. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think SMV, as in attractiveness, will get the girl noticed and get her in the door. What she does once she gets in the door may have a lot more to do with how she was brought up.

    Liked by 1 person

  252. Prime example.

    SUNshine Girl Ashley was one of our calendar girls in 2011 and is back after taking time off to have a baby. The green-eyed Maple Leafs fan is just back from Jamaica where she was working on her tan. Aside from her new baby, Ashley also loves dogs and driving – her Jeep and a Zamboni.

    Yeah new mom on page 3. Hmmmmm.
    Same month there were two 40 year olds and more silicon than a microchip factory.

    Liked by 1 person

  253. Linny

    You were right. 30 years ago. Its called assortive mating. 5 with 5, 7 with 7, 3 with 3.
    Now because of open hypergamy, pump and dump, alpha widowhood all 3s and up expect they can get a 9+ becausr of that one drunk quickie in the closet at the friends wedding.

    Really. Ton is right. If….if…if you have the chops to pull women you get who you want so yes why bother. The rest of guys…..ICEL. And then the 7 and lower hit the wall and drop to 2s…guess what….ICEL.

    Only an icel 45 man has a job, lives minimally and has disposanble income, buds and hobbies.
    45 ICEL woman? 2 10-14 year old terrors or cats, a retail job, BA degree and backstabbing “besties”

    See my earlier comment on the friend from work asking me to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  254. SFC Ton says:

    Woman’s value is sex. Low value women have all the liabilities of women but are pretty much unfuckable so those liabilities are not offset by regular sex….. sort of like why men don’t want to get married. All the bullshit of a girlfriend but with much less sex and no blow jobs

    Low value women have been replaced by porn.

    Tldr; men and women dont need each orher like they use to. Women replaced low value men with jobs and free shit from the government; porn replaced fat/ ugly/ old/ bitchy chicks.

    Liked by 1 person

  255. Ton mike drops and saunters off stage left.
    Close up shop.
    What else needs to be said??

    Liked by 1 person

  256. Of course internet porn is forever.

    Without men working hard
    Job and free shit from government dries up.

    In the end we win.

    Liked by 1 person

  257. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It is not that anyone wins. It is that without beta bucks, none of this is happening.

    Liked by 1 person

  258. SFC Ton says:

    No doubt beta bucks is important to a healthy society, economy and tax base

    Not sure beta bucks is important to the current society, economy and tax base


  259. SFC Ton says:

    Thanks for the kind words on an unkind topic

    Liked by 1 person

  260. Spawny Get says:

    Teletubbies gone bad

    Perhaps suitable for Mini-Ton in the future?

    Liked by 1 person

  261. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    At some time, production will have to match consumption. Our economy cannot continue to borrow with no thought of repayment. Maybe they will see value in the betas then, if they haven’t completely alienated them.

    Liked by 1 person

  262. SFC Ton says:

    Who knows Bear? It’s all gone on much longer then I would have thought. Wouldn’t be surprised if this shit is still standing when great grandchildren are here


  263. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think a lot of it has to do with that all oil must be purchased with US dollars. We have the world’s reserve currency. That creates extra demand for it.


  264. SFC Ton says:

    I’m certain that is part of it
    The drug trade runs on dollars too. Which might be an even bigger part of it


  265. RichardP says:

    Re. whether you can detect a woman’s sexual interest in her face: the manner in which a woman presents herself while ovulating is distinctly different from the manner in which she presents herself just before and during the time she is menstruating (being on the pill can mute this dynamic). Two thoughts fall out of this:

    – a man who is experienced with women (or a woman) should be able to recognize the different looks on the woman’s face at the two extreme’s during the cycle. The man who cannot recognize these different looks is at a disadvantage.

    – a woman who is not dtf by the third date now might be dtf two weeks from now. The wise man accounts for this when implementing the sex by third date rule Rejecting her now when you wouldn’t reject her two weeks from now makes no sense in the real world. ————————

    I said: “If you are honest, and if you think it through carefully (including reading up in areas where your understanding is not strong) … ”

    deti said: “Chill the fuck out on your condescension”

    My statement quoted above was made in the context of what life was life for a sexually active woman before modern birth control came along. Since not too many folks are alive now who were alive then to tell us about it, pretty much the only way anyone can learn abou what life was like then is by reading. That is a statement of fact. No condescension intended. Also, reading is possibly the quickest way for men to learn that the pill can decrease a woman’s sex drive.

    Given the type of woman that nature selected for or God created (see my first post above for detail), most men will always desire far more sex from women than most women are ever going to deliver over the course of their adult lives. If the objective is to reduce sluttery (per the stated reason for this thread), then there is no solution to this reality other than men exercising impulse control.

    For sure, nexting anyone who won’t deliver sex by the third date is a way to get more sex – even if that only works for the small percentage of men who can attract another woman. But that wasn’t the thrust of this thread. Nexting after no sex by third date increases sluttery. This thread was asking for comments about ways to reduce sluttery.

    A thought experiment: Assume you’ve nexted women for 30 years and have a cohort of 30 women who would fuck you by the third date. Assume also that you know nothing more about these women than that they would fuck you by the third date. Pick one of them for wife. What criteria would you use to filter them?

    Bottom line: As stated elsewhere in this thread, sexual interest in you is a necessary, but not sufficient condition for choosing a wife in most instances.


  266. SFC Ton says:

    a woman who is not dtf by the third date now might be dtf two weeks from now.

    Might is a mighty big word

    The 3 date rule is for betas.


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