To Hug or Not to Hug?


Here is the latest meme to take hold,

As consent and bodily autonomy become a bigger conversation, there are those speaking out about how we need to give children agency over their own bodies — even if it means turning down hugs from grandma and grandpa.

Really?  There is a reason that children have parents making decisions for them.  Children just don’t have the agency to make good decisions an many matters; especially when it comes to their development.  Parents need to tell, guide and nudge children in good directions.  One key direction is that of the sense that they are wanted, loved and come from a linage of ancestors.  Hugging grandparents is a method of making this happen.

A Mighty Girl shared a meme from Safe Kids, Thriving Families about not forcing kids to hug or kiss family and friends. Telling a child they must obey another person’s demand for physical affection sends a damaging message about consent and ownership of their bodies.

We are getting closer to the agenda here it would seem.  It is all about priming girls to leverage their bodies to the maximum when they are sexually mature.  The more “control” they exercise, the more they can easily reject unwanted suitors and go for the sexy guy that they (and all of the other women) want.  The words consent and ownership give the game away.

So if children have the right to decline to hug grandparents, what else might they have the right to do?  How about candy for every meal?  No school ever?  Probably things would devolve into The Lord of the Flies rather quickly.  So what makes this non-hugging right more important than the candy-all-the-time right?  To ask the question is to answer it.

Also notice that there isn’t any mention of boys having a right to not hug their grandparents.   This is good.  Doing so with their grandparents will make them more well-adjusted than the girls who don’t.

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Hypergamy, Lies
146 comments on “To Hug or Not to Hug?
  1. Yoda says:

    All about power this play is

    Liked by 2 people

  2. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A valid point, given that boys aren’t even considered. It is about elevating girls to the position of princess. Once they grow up, this will not be sen as being a good idea.

    It may be on a tangent to the post, but Tarn pointed out that women are less respectful of her personal space this way than men. Men will pick up on cues a lot quicker. Tarn is very particular about her personal space.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yoda says:

    The more “control” they exercise

    “Control” enforced by law enforcement it is.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    You may only be exaggerating slightly. I can see how it could lead to cops getting involved if an uncle wants a hug from princess. Is there no end to this?

    Also, your assertion that this would give her complete, unchecked autonomy to give herself to bad boys and cads makes sense.

    Like

  5. Yoda says:

    Tarn is very particular about her personal space.

    Has big boobs to enforce it with she does

    Like

  6. I am on both sides with this one… I don’t tell my girls to hug or not hug people, but if I saw they were uncomfortable I would tell them it’s ok to dodge a hug.

    When I was married, my mother-in-law had remarried to this guy who was always just a little too eager to hug me. I would hug him quickly and kind of sideways, with the little “pat pat” bunny arms.

    I am not one to hug everyone I know, and for some friends of mine who are huggers I try to remember to greet them with a hug even though it is not my natural way.

    I am cuddly and affectionate with my innermost circle and that’s about it.

    I am not averse to touch, I guess I just have a big personal bubble as an introvert?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Yoda says:

    But grandparents always deserve hugs from tots they do

    Liked by 1 person

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    Tarn has a history and that is why she is reluctant to be touchy-feely.

    Like

  9. True, Yoda….

    My oldest is very standoffish, and also bunny arms hugs mostly. Where the younger is going to be a everyone she knows hugger type.

    I’ve never told them not to, or that they had to. I guess it hasn’t come up?

    Like

  10. It’s situational, but yes grandparent’s would seem exempt.

    Of course in the case a grandparent has been abusive or inappropriate in the past (and sadly yes it happens) then I would not push it.

    Like

  11. Spawny Get says:

    Still haven’t watched it, but it seems to be worse than I thought

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Yoda says:

    Glorious Patriarch up late he was

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Spawny Get says:

    Now all you need is to get a Trumpsicles version for trolling purposes

    Like

  14. Cill says:

    Could this happen?

    If the Electoral College does as this Elector wants, then:
    1. The general election for President was a monumental waste of money and time.
    2. The campaigns, including the primaries, might as well not have happened.
    3. The President is elected not by the people but by 538 kingmakers who have more voting power than all the people combined.
    4. The notion of government of the people by the people for the people is a farce.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Spawny Get says:

    Cill, doesn’t that mean taxation without representation? Pretty sure that this has happened before and it didn’t turn out good for the elite of the time. Obviously in was the prolescum on both sides that died, but the elite lost power 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  16. SFC Ton says:

    If the Electoral College does as this Elector wants, then:
    1. The general election for President was a monumental waste of money and time.
    It’s always a waste of time and money

    2. The campaigns, including the primaries, might as well not have happened.
    They shouldn’t have happened. These things are more about internal party politics vs the will of voters at large. The political parties drive the show, and those parties are driven by full time employees and what not

    3. The President is elected not by the people but by 538 kingmakers who have more voting power than all the people combined.
    That was the original intent, the found father’s weren’t fans of democracy. And almost no one understands original intent or the US Constitution. In this case, it was not an agreement between the federal government and individual voters. It’s an agreement between the States. Your State’ conisistuion is the agreement between your government and you

    4. The notion of government of the people by the people for the people is a farce.
    And has been since 1860. The form of government Americans think they have died with lincoln. A new version of government sort of created itself, but no one sat down and gave it much thought. Mostly after Reconstruction failed, everyone decided to pretend nothing happened.

    It won’t happen Cill

    If nothing else most are smart enough to understand if the electoral college installs anyone but Trump the system is ruined and likely violently so. Not that I think Trump voters would just flip their shit and riot but what’s left of governmental legitimacy would unravel, rapidly, which always leads to bad, bad shit.

    The whole deal is some faggoty political wonks attention whoring for their 15 mins of fame and the media needs to keep shit stired up so they can sell ad time

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Cill says:

    “doesn’t that mean taxation without representation?”. Yes, IMHO.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. SFC Ton says:

    Taxation without representation won in 1860. lincoln did not run on an anti slavery platform and was will to protect slavery with a constitutional amendment

    He ran on a tariff/ platform that was designed to contuine taxing the South and spending the tax revenue up north, mostly on rail roads. lincoln was a major player in the rail road industry

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Spawny Get says:

    TFM can be a mixed bag, but this one’s good

    Liked by 1 person

  20. happyhousewifey says:

    I disagree! With the original post. I tell people off for harassing my kids and not respecting their ‘no’. For love and affection, you should let kids come to you, give them tine. I also cannot abide by tickling kids beyond their ‘no’.
    They should not be used to fill a gap someone feels emotionally. There are politeness things (shaking hands, I do enforce that), but hugs and kisses are never politeness. They are sincere affection thus should never be forced. Treat a kid right and it will climb all over you and hug and kiss more than you could wish for. Vut don’t force them.

    You can’t compare this with eating junk food oe watching tv. Touch is intimate and can be threatening. It is not necessary for safety or health to get touchy with everyone. I do stranglehold them when it comes to things like toothbrushing, but then I always explain it is NECESSARY for their wellbeing. I would encourage them to fight hand and tooth (tooth and nail? What’s the expression) anyone who got too touchy.

    Respect kids limits, and they will become respectful of others as well. And I think kids who were forced into a level of intimacy they didn’t want are MORE likely to become frigid or otherwise sexually challenged.

    Wow, I normally always agree with you guys. But this… nope. Forcing unwanted intimacy is dysfunctional IMO.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/indigenous/coalition-expand-violence-against-indigenous-women-1.3896346

    70% of murdered indigenous are men but they cannot be included into the federal inquiry.
    Thanks Justin.
    And check out the picture of the commissioners on the inquiry.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. happyhousewifey says:

    And I HATE the three kisses on the cheek thing when it’s strangers. Like you run into a friend who is with a group of others and they all do the kisses. Ugh! That’s one instance where my husband told me he doesn’t mind if I am impolite. Do. Not. Touch!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Spawny Get says:

    “Wow, I normally always agree with you guys”
    Agreement is not required here.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. happyhousewifey says:

    “But grandparents always deserve hugs from tots they do”

    No. Earn it. Earn their trust, earn their affection. All it takes is a little bit of attention and familiarity.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Spawny Get says:

    I think that the problem is that this is the arming of immature kids with the full power of the state. I doubt that anyone objects to screaming kids being left alone by weird-grandma

    Liked by 5 people

  26. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-12-16/american-firms-want-to-keep-older-workers-a-bit-longer

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-12-15/there-are-plenty-of-jobs-out-there-america

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/audio/2016-12-16/bloomberg-s-coy-too-many-jobs-not-enough-qualified-workers

    Seeing a pattern. It is starting.
    The economy and society NEED men and the plowhorses are retiring.
    Skinny legged pajama boys cant make an app to install windshields but the first article, gee 70k basically walk in and promise to work hard. In warm S.C. Hmmmmm.

    Trump SEES it.
    https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2016-trump-cabinet/

    The cabinet is not political hacks? What?
    No its men Qualified for their posts…who will get shit done.

    The world is starting to realize someone has to keep the lights on.

    P.s. imagine 10,000. Of anything. Cars, bolts, dollar bills.

    That is how many american workers, mostly male plowhorses, are
    RETIRING, not eligible to, actually going
    Every. Single. Day.

    Pps. And because they are retiring it means the good guys. Who are employeed. With skills. Who kept a job for multiple years. Not thugs, criminals or triggered pussys.
    The guys who the world is finding Are Hard To Replace.

    Liked by 3 people

  27. Farm Boy says:

    I think that the problem is that this is the arming of immature kids with the full power of the state.

    Thread Winner

    Liked by 2 people

  28. happyhousewifey says:

    How do you give them the power of the state by respecting their ‘no’?

    We have some people in the family who think it’s funny to mess with kids, gives them a power kick it seems. Or they will sweetly say they won’t kiss them and then do it anyway. I can’t stand it, and the kids can’t, either.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Farm Boy says:

    I am not one of those “hugger” types. When I was a kid, hugging was not a normal thing that non family members did. Now it is expected. You see football players do it, movie stars do it, etc. It is so artificial. I wish that would go away.

    And yes, the Glorious Patriarch is correct. It is about arming children with the full power of the state; preparing them to ruthlessly exercise it when they turn into young women.

    Once again, young boys are not mentioned, only girls. This is telling.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. SFC Ton says:

    I don’t agree with forcing kids to hug even family members

    My kids have disengaged grandparents. In 27 years the one set has spent maybe a month with my oldest, the other set maybe 4 months. Total time. Despite living within a 5 hour drive of them for all but 2 years of their life.

    Reaping and sowing

    On topen of that, kids go through various stages on all sorts of topics. It’s healthy of them and unhealthy to make to big of a deal other the various stages…. usually

    To many variables at play to have much of a dusscusion on the OP.

    At the same time, this will be used as a club against men. That is as certain as certain gets.

    Liked by 6 people

  31. Spawny Get says:

    Horseman, no problem with fishing your comment from spam filter, but you triggered the 4 link trap (just so you know)

    Like

  32. happyhousewifey says:

    Also, normal, healthy people do not enjoy forcing intimacy on kids. Such affection should be give for the joy of the other, not out of some selfish wish.

    Being old does not entitle one to overrule a childs bodily integrity where it is not necessary.

    Nobody has any rights when it comes to children. Only duties.

    Liked by 3 people

  33. happyhousewifey says:

    Sort of related, I have always thought that standoffish people are more passionate. People who don’t like hugging strangers dislike it, because physical intimacy has more of an effect on them. People who are very free with touch do not get impacted by it as much. Just a theory.

    Liked by 4 people

  34. Spawny Get says:

    “We have some people in the family who think it’s funny to mess with kids, gives them a power kick it seems. Or they will sweetly say they won’t kiss them and then do it anyway. I can’t stand it, and the kids can’t, either.”

    I’d expect you to have the power to stop that shit without making it a legal matter. That’s the solution that we’re all fine with (is my guess).

    The SJWs love putting over-the-top powers in the hands of mental incontinents. So all men have to tread on eggshells lest the cops are called by some loon or child. Why? because they’re mentally broken and/or haters of men and healthy society

    Liked by 4 people

  35. Farm Boy says:

    How do you give them the power of the state by respecting their ‘no’?

    It is the old two-step. First you degrade the parent’s authority by giving it to the kids in theory. Then you “notice” that the kids have no way to enforce their authority. So you set up some program where kids can appeal to the state, or even worse, where the state goes out trolling for cases to take up.

    Liked by 5 people

  36. Spawny Get says:

    You see, HHW? I actually agree with you in what you’re talking about.

    HOWEVER

    The rest of the conversation is really about the slippery slope towards more legal horror for men.. And women when teachers persuade their kid to complain…empower the state! kill off the family

    Liked by 3 people

  37. happyhousewifey says:

    I assumed this was about encouraging parents to stand by their childrens intimacy related choices, rather than force them. I do know parents who force their kids to hug and kiss (we kiss neighbours at new years here, that’s why I stay inside LOL).
    We already have the state actively looking for kids they can take away from parents. There’s a perverse financial incentive for it. Very scary. I have heard one of them ADMIT what she was doing was illegal (scouting out a mommy and kid group), but it happens anyway. I heard Denmark is even worsw in that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. happyhousewifey says:

    It’s nice to see we do agree and sad to see I’m apparently too naive to see the next steps and slippery slope coming.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. SFC Ton says:

    LOL @ plenty of jobs out there america

    Liked by 1 person

  40. SFC Ton says:

    Here in what use go be a free nation, men are harassed socially and legally for showing interest in the lives of childern.

    We are already on the wrong side of the slippery slope

    Liked by 3 people

  41. Farm Boy says:

    Lots of blondes here. Even Italy. But not Norway.

    Liked by 4 people

  42. Yoda says:

    Feel sorry for Admiral Ackbar I do.
    Famous for one silly line he is

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Spawny Get says:

    When kids go bad

    Liked by 4 people

  44. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    HHW,
    I see your point. What concerns me is that this standoffish attitude is being instilled. Healthy grandkids would want to hug their grandparents.

    Cill,
    At the time the Constitution was written, a lot of people didn’t expect it to last twenty years. They just ran out of patience and compromise. While the electoral system is unique, it has worked for a long time. I think it will reflect the general election again. It is the losers who are protesting and they don’t have the votes to carry.

    Like

  45. Yoda says:

    What concerns me is that this standoffish attitude is being instilled.

    What good come of this attitude it can?

    Like

  46. Yoda says:

    Octosnowmom that is

    Liked by 3 people

  47. Spawny Get says:

    I’m not keen on physical contact with random peeps, I would have thought it a very INTJ thing: Why are we making a social display of feelings that don’t exist?

    And even when those feelings do exist, I don’t feel the need to make public displays because the feelings aren’t for public entertainment, they’re private. And I’m not a prude, promise, I just an INTJ innit

    Liked by 2 people

  48. Cill says:

    “The whole deal is some faggoty political wonks attention whoring for their 15 mins of fame and the media needs to keep shit stired up so they can sell ad time.”

    I agree with that comment. The mainstream Fourth Estate is worse than worthless. It functions as an overbearing propaganda machine for the Left. It’s no longer a source of researched information and verified facts. Maybe it never was.

    Liked by 2 people

  49. Spawny Get says:

    dodecamum?

    Having to reach deep back to school Chemistry
    methane
    ethane
    propane
    butane
    pentane
    hextane
    heptane
    octane
    nonane
    decane
    undecane
    dodecane
    (something like that)

    Crazy what you can remember(ish) from way back. Can’t remember if that was ‘O’ level (16yo) or ‘A’ level (18)

    Luckily I have lubricated my memory a little. ethanol for the little grey cells

    Liked by 1 person

  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get at 1:32pm,
    That was a good video. TFM is right. Praeger U. completely overlooked the role of women in wrecking the dream of the white picket fence. They put it all on men and we didn’t do it. The white picket fence can only work if women commit and they are under no obligation. They are even encouraged to blow up the marriage.

    Liked by 2 people

  51. Yoda says:

    Encouraging militant behavior in five year old girls not a good thing it is

    Liked by 4 people

  52. Spawny Get says:

    “I agree with that comment. The mainstream Fourth Estate is worse than worthless. It functions as an overbearing propaganda machine for the Left. It’s no longer a source of researched information and verified facts. Maybe it never was.”

    I think that it used to pretend to try, in the main anyway

    Liked by 2 people

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As for the mainstream news, I think two things that happened simultaneously contributed to its demise. First, the introduction of twenty four hour news channels. How do you fill the time? Second, for a long time corporate didn’t care if the news made money or not. It was a sorce of prestige. When they were forced to start making money, that compromised them.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. happyhousewifey says:

    Normal kids want to hug normal grandparents, but not intimidating ones. I’m lucky with my family, not everyone is. I have some old men in the family who tell our little ones not to hug them (older generation thinks it improper after age 1).

    I’m INFJ, the description reads like a social justice warrior LOL!

    Liked by 3 people

  55. Ame says:

    wow … well, this OP really opens a can of rotting worms.

    no. children – boys and girls – do not have to hug grandparents. there are many grandparents who suck – all four of my girls’ grandparents lead that list.

    no. just b/c grandparents give toys or candy does not mean they should be rewarded with hugs or any kind of affection. ever.

    it is well known that candy and gifts are used to manipulate children, especially by pervs.

    my dad and his (wicked bitch) wife are trying to manipulate me to agree that he is innocent and never did anything bad or wrong (B.S.) … so they sent my girls some duty-free jewelry from one of their many int’l travels with self-addressed-stamped envelopes and cards asking my girls to give them info. not just no … but hell, f*** off, NO.

    had women tell me privately, when they knew i was going through a sexual abuse recovery group all those years ago, that an uncle would put his hands in their panties when they were little girls at family gatherings. (give me a shot gun).

    manners, being polite, learning how to handle people in public and family settings – that’s important. stating how that must be handled for each family. absolutely not.

    good for you if you’ve never known this kind of hell. i’m very glad to know there are those out there who have not clue what it’s like to grow up like i did. but i will never expect a child to give or receive affection from anyone, including parents. that’d be some f***** up world. just knowing that i’d have to see my parents makes me physically ill before and after for significant periods of time. and you want to blame the kid? blame the f****** parent and grandparent and aunts and uncles who pull off this sh**.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. FNU MNU LNU says:

    IDK. none of those young college girls complain when dollars go in, and they don’t come out…

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Cill says:

    My most negative experience with this huggy-kissy crap was when at the family gatherings my two rogue aunts used to make a beeline for me for a kiss and a hug and bit of a dry root. My solution was to turn my back on them at the very last minute. Since I’m at least 14 inches taller than either of them, my arse was the closest part of my anatomy to their protuberant puckered lips. I now wish I’d had the foresight to consume a quantity of onions sufficient to let rip in their faces with a sound like a cow pulling its hoof out of a bog.

    Liked by 3 people

  58. Ame says:

    Cill – that’s hilarious! lol!

    Like

  59. SFC Ton says:

    The left made a point of taking over schools and the media. Yes 24 hour news cycle is part of the problem but is it a major factor or minor?

    Like

  60. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    While I know that the bad aunts deserve far worse, it is goo that you can make fun of them.

    Like

  61. Yoda says:

    Seems that women want to focus on the hugging and not the power grab part they do

    Liked by 1 person

  62. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I am at fault for that too. Bears like hugs. But, you have a point. women are subtle in their deflection.
    You reminded me of something from last year. Bloom’s younger knew the difference between the character of Yoda and Darth Vader without having seen the movies. Mysterious this is.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Yoda says:

    Britain’s public broadcaster — the BBC — has called the election of Donald Trump an “American Tragedy”

    http://www.breitbart.com/london/2016/12/17/impartial-bbc-calls-trump-election-american-tragedy/

    Like

  64. I think kids have an natural sense of when someone’s hug is genuine and when it is “off.” Teaching them to think every hug is an assault, or that all hugs are good hugs, both invalidate this built in inner protection. Even as a young kid I could tell when someone was being real-nice or being fake-nice.

    I don’t over stranger-danger my kids, but I also point out danger when I see it.

    Liked by 4 people

  65. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I wonder if they would have said as much about Franklin Roosevelt? That would have been a n “Oops!”.

    Like

  66. Or here’s a personal example. Often at holidays and birthdays when I was given clothes, my mom and female relatives would insist I immediately try them on, and they would follow me into the bedroom while I did it. If I didn’t want to, my mom would force the issue, start undressing me herself! I hated that. I don’t think it was anything sinister but I do feel like it was an invasion of my privacy and self. Now, when these same relatives bring clothes to my kids, I don’t force them to try them on but if they are willing I take them in the bathroom (alone) and help them (if needed.) Once the gang tried to follow and I just said, “We’ll be right back, wait here.”

    Liked by 5 people

  67. Yoda says:

    With Joe Biden, one should hug not

    Like

  68. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    I can see the anxiety with gifting clothes to kids. If it is the wrong size, it will just go in a drawer and none will see the use of it. Thankfully, I never had to go through that. Books are always good but, it has been a while.

    Liked by 2 people

  69. Cill says:

    Re huggy stuff

    When I was a kid I went to a concert of NZ kids. There was one boy in particular who stood out as the star of the show. The conductor and his wife and family were all friends of my family. We socialized with them a lot. He (the conductor) was a very popular and well-liked man, and he and the boy star had a great rapport on the stage.

    He didn’t like me though, and it was not until my late teens that I came to understand why.

    In my teens I met a bloke of about my own age. He was an exceptionally good musician. It was a while before I realized he was the boy star I’d seen years before. Over the years we became good friends. He confided in me that he had been repeatedly abused by a pedophile, the conductor. He also said the conductor was afraid of me.

    I remember when I was 4 or 5 the conductor sometimes pinned me down so I couldn’t move. He did this to other boys as well. I told him to get off me or I’d tell my dad he was a homo. Although I only half knew what a homo was, my instinct told me what he was up to. I had seen things in the outback from a young age. I had seen buggery in the animal world.

    It turned out the young musician first started to hang around with me because he’d heard of me and felt safe. The conductor was consumed with jealousy and hated me for it.

    Anyway, the point is that the conductor was a great one for the hugging of boys at the family gatherings. He would shower them with attention and he knew how to turn on the charm. He pointedly excluded me.

    My musician friend doesn’t want people to know he was homosexually abused. However with his permission I told key members of my family. The conductor is a family friend no longer. He says he is devastated and wants to make amends. Fuck him. My family is a safe space for my friend.

    Liked by 6 people

  70. Yoda says:

    Sad story that is

    Liked by 2 people

  71. Yoda says:

    Many bad people in the world there are

    Liked by 4 people

  72. And many good people there are, too!

    Liked by 4 people

  73. Cill that is so sad, and yet also so common. I am glad you pushed back when the guy was testing you.

    From what I have seen of the very few males who have confided they “may have been, possibly, but I never want to talk about it again” molested by men had it super hard because they were victimized, and then ashamed of it, and unable to reach out, bc people really don’t want to think about it. But it happens.

    I agree 100%, children should never have such experiences. But they do happen, sadly. So I think letting kids put up boundaries (w/o over coaching them that “all touch is bad touch” or something) is good. And to trust their gut.

    Liked by 3 people

  74. @ Fuzzie, I am not sure if it was sizes, and truly I don’t think it was malicious, but it was uncomfortable to be treated like an object (a doll?) And to object inside but have no real ability to say, “no.”

    I guess the best way to put it was “it wasn’t about me or what I wanted” and is that really what a gift is about? Not to overthink it… some kids it would not bother in the least. But it did bother me. And I somehow knew resistance was futile.

    Liked by 3 people

  75. Ame says:

    Cill – it’s been said the number of boys sexually abused far outnumbers the number of girls, but the stats will never be accurate b/c it’s more shameful for boys to reveal the abuse than it is for girls. extra kudos to your family for ditching the conductor and protecting this dude. no telling how many young boys that man has abused. btw … perps often use tickling and rough-tackling/play as a prelude to their sick behavior with children.

    Yoda and Farm Boy – with all due respect, and much is due to you both, i just cannot see this OP past my experience. my parents both abused me in all kinds of ways, including beating me black and blue, and when they dropped me off at college they decided that, since they had an audience of my new college peers, it was time to start hugging me and telling me they love me. N.O. i don’t want either parent to touch me or my girls. neither has ever apologized … both have blamed others or denied it existed. when my girls were preschoolers my parents came for a visit, one of the rare times they were permitted to stay in my house. my dad started hitting my girls – he’d just get irritated and start swatting at them. i told him to stop – that he was not allowed to hit my girls. EVER. my mom, who was right there and saw it, too, said, “He wasn’t hitting them.” my dad denied hitting them. i had just watched him hit them. they were OUT and have NEVER been allowed to stay again.

    the only bad thing i see about the hugging issue is not making it equal btw boys and girls – if boys don’t want to hug, they don’t have to, either. EVER. that the feminists have taken something like this and twisted it does not remove our responsibility to protect children, or adults.

    this does not mean that my girls won’t hug anyone; they will. it means they are not forced to hug anyone, including their *&$#%! grandparents, regardless of how much money or gifts or candy is offered. my dad has used money and gifts to try to manipulate us for years, and i’m not taking any of it. neither will my girls. my dad was very successful in the business world, and if you met either of my parents socially, you would enjoy them. they are well-read, well traveled, and have experienced much in life, and are great conversationalists. but they’re not safe people.

    not everyone is bad. i would even say most people are good. but it would be foolish to teach my girls all people are good. it would be foolish not to teach them to be aware of their environment and to trust their instincts. a BIG thing with me is they are never to be alone. if they’re out with friends, they are to always be in pairs. if one goes to the bathroom, a friend goes with them. there’s safety in numbers.

    when my girls were preschoolers we went to the grocery store late one night b/c they were both awake. my youngest sat in the front seat, and my oldest sat in the back of the shopping cart. i stepped about five steps away in an isle where i could still see the cart to pick something off the shelf quickly. in those few seconds, this elderly couple came up to my girls and started talking. my youngest, who has a very strong, instant, sense of people immediately tensed up. i firmly walked back to the cart and simply said, “They’re taught not to talk to strangers.” the couple obliged but acted weird. then they followed us at a distance around the rest of the store. they were creepy. i kept an eye on them the whole time while staying right with my girls.

    i do not forbid my girls from talking to strangers, but i do not force them to, either. they are both capable of talking to most anyone and carrying on a conversation if they want to though they’re both introverts and prefer not to most of the time.

    Liked by 2 people

  76. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    You are a good friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  77. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    Maybe it is the the demand for a a “fashion show” that puts you off about clothes as a present? I am glad that I never did try that. Books usually worked, or, at least, they acknowledged that the attempt was made.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic but it has been gnawing at me. The feminists have been quiet since candidate Hillary lost. We haven’t had as much to talk about. They are up to something.

    Like

  79. Yoda says:

    A southern greeting for Trump this is

    Liked by 3 people

  80. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    To paraphrase Quasimodo, “The belles, the belles!”

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Yoda says:

    How fit in cars the belles do?

    Liked by 1 person

  82. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    You have presented a very interesting logistical problem. Is there a secret way to collapse the hoop skirts? In their heyday, this must have been a problem for carriages too. Perhaps, the skirts were assembled on location?

    Like

  83. Pantaloons are needed bc the hoops collapse and point up in tight spaces. Or if room permits one must sit on the very most edge of a chair and look effortless to maintain balance 🙂 just standing is easiest

    Liked by 1 person

  84. Another reason for pantaloons, the hoops are separate and the hoop frame dropped, stored, and then put back on upon arrival, discretely in the parking lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  85. Yoda says:

    Probably ride motorcycles the belles to not

    Liked by 1 person

  86. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    While riding motorcycles may be out, what about, with refinements, parasailing?

    Like

  87. Cill says:

    happyhousewifey 17 December, 2016 at 3:57 pm.

    Interesting theory that.

    Liked by 1 person

  88. Cill says:

    Spawny “I’d expect you to have the power to stop that shit without making it a legal matter.”

    Hell I agree. As soon as it becomes a legal matter innocent men will end up being penalized, and it will be a matter of yet more suzerainty by females over males.

    Liked by 2 people

  89. FNU MNU LNU says:

    so you shouldn’t force kids to hug their grandparents, but if YOU are unwilling to date people with differing preferences, you are being discriminatory:

    Liked by 1 person

  90. FNU MNU LNU says:

    Like

  91. Spawny Get says:

    Are bad things about to happen? Nor arf

    Liked by 1 person

  92. Yoda says:

    Wonder if the “dating preferences chick” is trans I do

    Like

  93. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    You can stop wondering. Your suspicions are well founded.

    Ton,
    The begging bears are fun to watch but, this will end badly for them. One day, someone will forget the bear treats and there will be a riot.

    Like

  94. Linny says:

    Yoda, I had the same thought.

    I don’t quite get what she(I’ll use such term) wants people to do. She uses the word date but what exactly does she mean by that word? Does she mean go out to dinner, a show, ice skating or does she mean Netflix and chill?

    If I were to invite someone between my sheets I would want them to have the equipment I prefer and I would want it to be fully functional.

    I look at the list of all the *ists* that exist and look at that list growing daily I have now decided I must be an extreme *ist*. I have generally lived my life by the motto *live and let live* and thought that was enough. But now I am being told it is not enough.

    This dog is just too old for all these new tricks.

    Liked by 2 people

  95. Cill says:

    The FNU MNU LNU video link at 5:17 pm above:

    Sexual preferences are set by nature, not nurture. We only have to look at nature to see that. Animals don’t display homosexual behavior except in the absence of the opposite sex. Like it or not, human beings are part of nature too. Most of us have a preference for the opposite sex and that’s final. Crikey dick I could no more get the hots for the bloke in that video than jump over the moon.

    Liked by 2 people

  96. Cill says:

    On an earlier post, Spawny mentioned John Key’s unexpected decision to resign. I’m sure if he wanted to, Key could have been Prime Minister of NZ for the rest of his life: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=11769376

    Look at the top 10 countries:

    1. New Zealand
    2. Norway
    3. Finland
    4. Switzerland
    5. Canada
    6. Australia
    7. Netherlands
    8. Sweden
    9. Denmark
    10. United Kingdom

    The common denominator is, their success was built by white men.

    Feminism is the big downside though. We’re not as bad here yet as Scandinavia and Western Europe, but we’re bad enough. Feminism is doing its utmost to destroy the white man.

    Liked by 1 person

  97. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    It could be that our chief vulnerability is our fondness for women.

    Like

  98. Yoda says:

    As with much else about the incoming Trump administration, the unsettled area of campus sexual misconduct law is highlighting the perils of government-by-executive-regulation (something that the New Yorker’s Jeannie Suk has discussed with respect to the transgender bathroom issue). To avoid further creative partisan rule-making on such an important and charged question, Congress would be well-advised to pass real legislation clarifying what Title IX actually requires, the mandate of various agencies charged with enforcing it, and its relationship to federal funding in higher education.

    http://www.the-american-interest.com/2016/12/16/in-title-ix-industry-chaos-and-confusion/

    Like

  99. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    Trump has promised to do as much as he can by executive order within the first 100 days. Considering that Obama did as much as he did by executive order, Trump can undo a lot of damage by the same means. Additionally, he can find ways to cut or stall funding. If he he has legislative cooperation, that would be even better.
    Not only do we have to think about Title IX but there is Title IV D, which incentivizes family court to gouge divorced men for child support.

    Liked by 1 person

  100. FNU MNU LNU says:

    physical contact with random peeps can be extraordinary. there was this one week in Helsinki… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  101. Spawny Get says:

    Linny
    https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2016/12/17/to-hug-or-not-to-hug/#comment-72011
    Sorry about you first comment being hung up for so long. Any subsequent ones will go straight through.

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Spawny Get says:

    “I look at the list of all the *ists* that exist and look at that list growing daily I have now decided I must be an extreme *ist*. I have generally lived my life by the motto *live and let live* and thought that was enough. But now I am being told it is not enough.”

    The requirement to celebrate stuff that you don’t like being thrust in your face…a step too far. I’m more of a don’t ask, don’t tell about stuff between consenting adults type of guy.

    Like

  103. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    It is not just white men, but societies who have harnessed the energy of beta men by giving them something to work for. However, hypergamy blew that concept to bits.

    Like

  104. Yoda says:

    Welcome Linny I do

    Liked by 2 people

  105. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As do I. It goes double if you bring cookies.

    Like

  106. Linny says:

    Not a problem. I am not an instant gratification type of person.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. Linny says:

    Thanks for the welcome. I can do cookies but I prefer pie. Maybe tomorrow I will make cookies how about Mona’s mother’s mother’s best friends favorite, I do like those.

    Liked by 2 people

  108. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I have never had those, but all cookies are welcome!

    Like

  109. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post

    Like

  110. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    It could be that our chief vulnerability is our fondness for women.

    Well, if we’re going to sin, it might as well be original.

    Liked by 3 people

  111. Spawny Get says:

    “Well, if we’re going to sin, it might as well be original.”

    Top gag!

    Like

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