What men need to do is to build a life for themselves; then invite a woman into that life if they want to. If a man does the opposite (put himself into a woman’s life), then it’s HER frame that dominates, mainly because that’s the dynamic from the start and because that’s what she is accustomed to. And neither of them like that long term.
Men, build something for yourself first, then take a woman along in that something you built for you. Then, when she tries to change it or reshape it, you say “no, it’s like this for a reason, you don’t get to change it. You don’t like it, there’s the door.”
I disagree with the building a life first thing. This thinf you guys call ‘frame’ is just being a good decision-maker. My husband and I were still living at home when we got together, he switched his educational path around and changed careers en has been unemployed for a year and started his own business. He has been a professional athlete and he has been ill and gotten overweight and got back in shape. But all this time, he was like a rock to me. He seemed to have everything under control. Maybe he did worry about employment, but we had enough to eat and we had a roof over our heads and he didn’t seem worried so I felt secure. He did hate the extra weight, but he didn’t burden me with it and he seemed to just need some time and better health to restore himself. He changed his mind on some things over time, but I did the same with my hairstyle He was always calm, never lost his temper, just told me what’s what. I’ll tell him what he has is called frame. His family calls it *family name*stubbornness!
In order to do all that, he has to have had a life of his own first. It’s not about just being a good decisionmaker. It’s about being a whole, fully integrated human being, with his life fully on point. He just makes it look so easy. Of course, your being very, very sexually attracted to him helps. (If he was a professional athlete, your sexual attraction to him is a given.)
In the modern day, Deti is correct. You have to be either fully developed in many areas when she first meets you, and/or generate tingles. With unleashed hypergamy, why would a woman want less? After all, she is entitled to such, is she not?
In times when hypergamy was restrained, women would have their eye out for men of potential, then latch on to them. They would help him grow into the successful man, the man that she would be proud of. For his part, he would have incentives to improve, and assistance along the way.
This was the way that it was with my parents. The early years of growth together provided extra glue for the union, as they had struggled to build something together.
Today’s women just don’t want to do that. They just can’t respect a man who is not well developed on many fronts. In my case, I was very capable in many areas, but it was not enough for my ex-wife. Since our divorce, I have done what MGTOWs suggest to do, improve on yourself for yourself. I wonder if the present me would satisfy her… But I don’t wonder so very much, as I have had no contact with her in eleven years.
Now back to the original topic, men of today just don’t have the incentive to improve if their improvement is motivated by trying to catch a better woman. There just are not that many women out there that are worth the effort. Contrast that with the old days, where the woman provided incentive on a daily basis.
Where did all of the good men go?