Fewer Millennials are in longterm, committed relationships than any generation past. According to Pew Research Center, 59 percent of adults ages 18-29 were married in 1960, while only 20 percent of adults that age were in 2011. And, from a recent Gallup poll, 64 percent of 18-29 year olds are not living with or married to a partner.
According to The Journal of Sex Research, only 31.9 percent of college students from 1988-1996 reported having more than one sexual partner in the past year—compared to a nearly-identical 31.6 percent of today’s students between 2002-2010. Another study found that millennials have fewer sexual partners than any other generation since our grandparents, who at the same age averaged just two partners each.
Translation? Contrary to popular belief, the majority of Millennials are not having rampant, or even frequent, casual sex.
So for those of us who aren’t married and aren’t having prolific sex, what are we doing?
Trying to decide.
By producing a surplus of options, online dating has ironically yielded romantic standstills
When Communism/Socialism inevitably fails, the true believers always state that it just was because there was corruption / counter revolutionary forces / it was not done right. These are all just silly excuses, as communism/socialism goes against human nature, and will never work because of it. In this case, the author goes with the last excuse, you are not doing it right. The author suggests that one should be more decisive.
Unfortunately, the solution to our indecisiveness is unromantic. Paul Oyer suggests the last thing our generation wants to do: settle. “Just as everybody accepts a job that doesn’t have that last little perk they wanted, at some point you have to accept a life partner.”
Thus, to the extent that we’re dragging our feet, our difficulty dating is self-inflicted. Kristen Dombek of the New York Times writes, “When we find what we want, it’s because we stop researching our options and treating our date as data to be mined, categorized, passed over or locked down.”
If only decisiveness was the only problem…
Frequent commenter Ton had this to say.
I own a bar, it is not unusual to have a packed house of nearly all single sex groups who never interact with the opposite sex.
I don’t know how much internet dating plays into millennials not engaging in ltr’s but I doubt it’s even in the top 5 reasons. Economically how many men that age have the money to spend on a bitch who probably won’t put out? People that age have few positive examples of marriages, ltrs or even the opposite sex. We live in a culture wholly hostile toward men, children and family formation. Unleashed hypergamy has created insanely unrealistic expectations in women. Divorce lawyer has left all but the dumbest saps wary of marriage, various court rulings make men wary of living with women. Typical female behavior makes men wary of living with women. Every dude under 35 knows sex disappears after marriage…..
The reasons why are legion, but Internet dating is an easy target compared to saying it’s the law, culture and women.
Unfortunately the issues mentioned by Ton are not as easy to cure as indecisiveness would be. Everybody understands this; even if they won’t admit it to themselves. That is probably why publications / mainstream sites don’t talk about it (they also want to make money). It is better to just suggest that people are not doing one small thing right, and that it will work right next time with just this one fix.