From this recent post,
Ton: Women are generally hostile toward men
Women worry if a man can enjoy himself without her, she will lose her power ( a powerful based solely on sex, manipulation, lies and deception)
Time a man spends on anything only he benefits from dimish the return on her investment in the draft horse… I mean man. Women hate that like bankers hate to give up on usury
Sunshine: I don’t think it is necessarily hostility. But it is definitely a mix of not wanting to lose power over one’s mate and also wanting to get as much labor as possible out of him. It sounds so terrible to say it, but there it is. Honestly when my husband is out puttering around in his workshop, I feel absolutely compelled to go out there and start in on him about “Shouldn’t you be doing blah blah blah?”
Which is usually when he turns on his electric sander and taps his ear as if to say, “Sorry! Can’t hear you!”
Anyway, I usually keep my nagging side quiet, but it’s always there under the surface, wanting to get out. As I think it is with most women. It’s just how we are, I guess.
This brings up something that I have been wondering about for a long time. Parents want the best for their children, or so they say. Probably this is where much of the urge for women to drive their men comes from. That is, to do more such that the kids have a better future. For some it comes down to materialistic things like houses, for others it is a drive to academics, others might be about fancy vacations, or maybe just general helicopter parenting (or any combo of these).
In reality, one questions how many of these are truly beneficial to a child’s future once the basic minimum is met. Often it is more about the parent’s prestige and fun. What children really need for their future is to grow up in an environment where they feel safe and feel that there is no undue risks in trying to grow intellectually and emotionally. For the most part, this takes time and effort of the parents, and not necessarily money. It can be fun, but it really does not show off in terms of prestige. Probably that is the kicker, as people want tangible stuff to point to that shows their (and their kid’s) success.
Back to the conversation between Ton and Sunshine, a wife nagging her husband to do stuff that he really is not that interested in doing, and furthermore doesn’t really advance the future prospects of the children, is just that, nagging. An example might be pressuring him to maintain a manicured lawn in suburbia for the sake of keeping up with the Joneses. I am sure that you can come up with your own cases. Please feel free to do so in the comments
P.S. My Mom did not nag my Dad very much. Later in life, she admitted that she deliberately worked on not doing so. I am glad that she was successful