Here is a real doozy of a column,
“Oh boy,” my son said, rolling his eyes. “Not rape culture again.”
We were sitting around the dinner table talking about the news. As soon as I mentioned the Stanford sexual assault case, my sons looked at each other. They knew what was coming. They’ve been listening to me talk about consent, misogyny and rape culture since they were tweens. They listened to me then, but they are 16 and 18 now and they roll their eyes and argue when I talk to them about sexism and misogyny.
Somehow I don’t believe that she just talks to them about sexism and misogyny. Probably she beats it into them.
“There’s no such thing as rape culture,” my other son said. “You say everything is about rape culture or sexism.”
Ding-ding, he wins the prize. I am sure that he has looked around to see this “culture”. What he sees is the long time definition of rape still in force. Furthermore, its very definition has been expanded. There is no “culture” being transmitted from one guy to the other.
I never imagined I would raise boys who would become men like these. Men who deny rape culture, or who turn a blind eye to sexism. Men who tell me I’m being too sensitive or that I don’t understand what teenage boys are like. “You don’t speak out about this stuff, mom,” they tell me with a sigh. “It’s just not what teenagers do.”
So she is surprised. Basically when the world that she says exists does not even closely match reality, the boys will question her version of reality. This is what logical thinking boys should do, for they are the ones that will be expected to make things work in the future. A poor world model is anathema to that. Even if they decide to spend their young manhood playing video games, understanding things for how they are will work well for them.
My sons are right about that much. Teenage boys, by and large, don’t speak out about slut-shaming or rape culture. They don’t call each other out when they make sexist jokes or objectify women. It’s too uncomfortable to separate themselves from the pack so they continue to at least dip their toes into toxic masculinity.
Boys have other things on their mind other than chasing their mother’s boogeymen. One of a mother’s most important functions is to provide a safe environment (emotionally, intellectually, etc.) where their children can grow. It would seem that this woman fails in this respect.
My son didn’t call out his friend. He didn’t remind him that lack of enthusiastic consent means there is no consent. He didn’t say a word to him about consent at all, other than to ask the initial question, and that inaction hung heavy in the room between us. My sons, who are good boys and who know all about consent, do not speak out about consent. Not when it’s uncomfortable. Not when it might jeopardize their social standing. My sons who hate hearing about their own privilege nestle inside it like a blanket and accuse me of making up its existence.
She lays it thick. Now it is on to privilege. Why can’t she see that he boys do not want to be SJWs on her behalf? Backing a cause that is invisible.
This mother comes off as a Feminist SJW parody. However, apparently she is real. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
My sons are part of the problem.
Look in the mirror.