The Modern Young Male’s Path

From here,

US manufacturers have switched from labor-intensive production to capital-intensive production. Instead of hiring a worker for the assembly line, manufacturers now use machines to do the work. The new technology results in firms reducing their demand for lower-skilled labor. Lower-skilled workers are the ones being displaced by the increasing technology.

I am convinced that declining labor demand is part of the story for why employment rates for lower-skilled workers have fallen so sharply and persistently during the last 15 years. I am also confident that changing technology has played a role in this decline.

 However, in my current research, I have been thinking about the role of technology on labor supply. This line of inquiry has received less attention from academics. Individuals make decisions about whether to work or not. Most people—including you . . . and me—do not like working for free. (I like to stress that point when talking in front of the deans.) That is why we have to pay people a wage to get them to work. When making our work decisions, we compare the benefit of work—the wage—against the cost of working. What is the cost of working? We give up leisure. The more attractive our leisure time, the less we’ll want to work, holding wages fixed.

Is it possible that technology has changed the value of leisure? I think the answer is a definite yes, and let me give you an example of how I am experiencing this firsthand. I have a 12-year-old son at home, and we ration video games for him. He is allowed a couple of hours of video-game time on the weekend, when homework is done. However, if it were up to him, I have no doubt he would play video games 23-and-a-half hours per day. He told me so. If we didn’t ration video games, I am not sure he would ever eat. I am positive he wouldn’t shower. 

Certain technologies—such as video games and social media and the internet—have increased the value of leisure time. Not only do people report them as being more fun than watching TV or going to the movies, they also say they’re more interactive. When my son plays video games, he often does so with his friends who are sitting in their living rooms, in their homes, avoiding their showers to the extent possible.

Are my son and his friends outliers? Many parents here probably recognize this behavior. But let me give you a little bit more data. As much as we have talked about the decline in employment rates for lower-skilled individuals aged 21–55, it’s even larger for younger, low-skilled men. For low-skilled men in their 20s, employment rates have fallen by about 10 percentage points over the last 15 years—from 82 percent in 2000 to only 72 percent in 2015. This decline is staggering. You might think it’s matched by a rise in school attendance for this age group. That is not the case.

The following may be the most shocking number I give you today: in 2015, 22 percent of lower-skilled men aged 21–30 had not worked at all during the prior 12 months. Think about that for a second. Every time I see it, that number blows my mind. In 2000, the fraction of young, lower-skilled men that didn’t work at all during the prior year was a little under 10 percent. Men in their 20s historically are a group with a strong attachment to the labor force. The decline in employment rates for low-skilled men in their 20s was larger than it was for all other sex, age, and skill groups during this same time period.

You may have a few questions in the back of your mind. If they are not working, where do these young, low-skilled men live? Our basements! According to recent data, 51 percent of lower-skilled men in their 20s live with a parent or close relative. That number was only 35 percent in 2000. In 2014, 70 percent of lower-skilled men in their 20s without a job lived with a parent or close relative.

Part of my new research is documenting how these lower-skilled men who have left the labor force spend their nonworking time. Using time diaries put out by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I can do this. On average, lower-skilled men in their 20s increased “leisure time” by about four hours per week between the early 2000s and 2015. All of us face the same time endowment, so if leisure time is increasing, something else is decreasing. The decline in time spent working facilitated the increase in leisure time for lower-skilled men. The way I measure leisure time is pretty broad; it includes participating in hobbies and hanging out with friends, exercising and watching TV, sleeping, playing games, reading, and so on.

Of that four-hours-per-week increase in leisure, three of those hours were spent playing video games! The average young, lower-skilled, nonemployed man in 2014 spent about two hours per day on video games. That is the average. Twenty-five percent reported playing at least three hours per day. About 10 percent reported playing for six hours per day. The life of these nonworking, lower-skilled young men looks like what my son wishes his life was like now: not in school, not at work, and lots of video games.

How do we know technology is causing the decline in employment for these young men? As of now, I don’t know for sure. But there are suggestive signs in the data that these young, low-skilled men are making some choice to stay home. If we go to surveys that track subjective well-being—surveys that ask people to assess their overall level of happiness—lower-skilled young men in 2014 reported being much happier on average than did lower-skilled men in the early 2000s. This increase in happiness is despite their employment rate falling by 10 percentage points and the increased propensity to be living in their parents’ basement.

Here is an outlier; a researcher who suggests that it may not just be the loss of manufacturing jobs that has led to the low employment numbers for males in the mentioned socio-economic group.  Rather, the total awesomeness of video games plays a large role. For video games are big budget productions now, with great graphics and gameplay that engross males.

So apparently young men are happy in the basement playing video games.  I can see why articles like this are not published often; for if word got out that this is a path to happiness, then there might be more defections.  Already there are enough of a group of MGTOW gamers to be of critical mass; and as such, much of the shame is gone.  With an even larger group in the future, they may even be able to sell the concept that the idea is empowering (which is always a good thing, is it not?).

But are not the men supposed to be out working?  Everybody knows that men exist to work.  Well, video games are inexpensive in terms of dollars per hour.  Women are much more expensive, so the men of old really did need to work hard to obtain them.  Now, hordes of men realize that their 20’s are hopeless with respect to women, so why bother working hard?

Empowered to create their own fun; what could be better?



Posted in Lies, MGTOW, Why
78 comments on “The Modern Young Male’s Path
  1. Yoda says:

    Much future time orientation the youngest generation has not.
    Their 20’s a long time it would seem.
    Guaranteed present fun vs. questionable future contentment the argument would be

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yoda says:

    man in 2014 spent about two hours per day on video games. That is the average. Twenty-five percent reported playing at least three hours per day. About 10 percent reported playing for six hours per day.

    Wonder if under-report this they do I do

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yoda says:

    much of the shame is gone

    Key aspect this is.
    The last layer of control this was

    Liked by 3 people

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is completely off topic. Sunshine has gotten a new farm animal and I thought we might be able to help. She is a “New Zealand doe” ,rabbit and she doesn’t have a mate. Knowing that we have commenters fron New Zealand, I thought we would be able to fix “Willow” up in short order.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Yoda says:

    “MGTOW forced upon me it was.
    Embrace it I will”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yoda says:

    PPPs the only predators in Kiwiland they are?
    Hunt rabbits they do?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mgtowhorseman says:

    Shame requires that those doing the shaming are respected by the shamee otherwise its just noise. why shaming mgtow doesnt work when its done by feminists.

    So these 20 somethings are raised by single moms…respect there!
    they were raised on government money…respect there.
    The dads were absent, betaized or busy working…respect there.

    So who do they respect enough to take shaming from?

    Seriously. That was a question. I have no idea.

    So I guess shaming will never work. So I guess you need to incentivize. Oh yeah. with modern women. modern overconsumption. modern survival of the fitest worksites.

    um guess that aint gonna work.

    Yeah make hiking, biking, rock climbing, drinking, C.O.D., hanging out, playing guitar, parkour, comic books…
    make all that boring and less fun than working at McDs or an office cubicle. Thats when its gonna change.

    Oh yeah…never.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Cill will go after boars with only a knife but, he won”t go near PPPs. Now, tell me who is the more dangerous.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Getting back to the original post, I think that we will see more of the shaming articles. They assuage the sensibilities of the haves but entirely miss the point, not that the haves would care. Without addressing all the social disincentives, these young men will return to society as much respect ass society confers on them, ie very little.

    There is one thing that has not been considered. Office work will be more automated in the future and a lot lot of office jobs will go by the wayside. I wonder what effect this will have on hypergamy?

    We can’t keep exporting jobs. China will end up holding enough paper to buy us twice over.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I saw this on Chateau Heartiste and had to share. Does Donald Trump know how to start a speech?


  11. Farm Boy says:

    I wonder if a big reason that SJW women make such a big fuss about guys gaming is because the fellas are having so much fun. Chicks really don’t get into video games (Tarn excluded) and are kind of pissed that they don’t get in on the enjoyment.

    “It is misogynist that guys have fun and we don’t”

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Farm Boy says:

    Perhaps women think that guys rub women’s faces in the fact that guys have fun with video games and the gals don’t. But rather than rub their faces in it, probably it is more like the fellas want the gals to stop bothering them unless they are either

    1. Going to play seriously
    2. Making sammiches

    Liked by 1 person

  13. SFC Ton says:

    Before video games, women bitched about men and cars, men and sports, men and beer, men and fishing… world without end, amen.

    Women hate to see a man enjoy himself
    Due to all their worries and what not, joy is rarely experienced by a woman. They are jealous creatures
    Women are generally hostile toward men
    Women worry if a man can enjoy himself without her, she will lose her power ( a powerful based solely on sex, manipulation, lies and deception)
    Time a man spends on anything only he benefits from dimish the return on her investment in the draft horse… I mean man. Women hate that like bankers hate to give up on usury

    Video games, sports etc don’t generally benefit women as a group, so women as a group dislike men engaging in those activities

    It’s all very simple

    Liked by 2 people

  14. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Are women that controlling that they will not allow a man his hobbies? As Lando Calrissian said, “This deal keeps getting worse and worse.”


  15. SFC Ton says:

    For as far back into time as old men have been writing down their wisdom Fuzzie


  16. Farm Boy says:

    For as far back into time as old men have been writing down their wisdom

    It does seem to be suppressed these days. Or perhaps the propaganda drowns it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Farm Boy says:

    Oh my. Check out this train wreck of a column.

    I think that I will write my next post about this.


  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I found a Dad friendly commercial! This should make Farm Boy’s day!

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Ame says:

    “You may have a few questions in the back of your mind. If they are not working, where do these young, low-skilled men live? Our basements!”

    – – –

    at some point … if parents want their sons to make their own way and provide for themselves, they need to kick their butts out of the basements. not saying he needs to provide for a wife and kids, too … but if parents don’t like their adult kids leaning on them, don’t let them.


    Ton has a point … there’s nothing new, really … just the medium has changed.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    She feels that she owes more loyalty to feminism than she does to her own sons.
    “And in this broken system, anyone who isn’t with us is against us. Particularly, and especially, men. Even my own sons — even yours. It’s not enough to teach our sons about consent; we have to encourage them to have the courage to speak out against rape culture, too.”
    Something tells me that gewtting the family together for Thanksgiving once the boys are out of the house is going to be hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think Blurkel said that he has two out of three still living with him in California. Rents there are through the roof and there aren’t that mjany jobs. His kids are well past college.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. SFC Ton says:

    Get them out to where and to what? To join the other 95 million americas without work? Or to join the record number of workers who are under employed?

    I reckon men are checking out due to lack of economic opertunity as often, or more often as they do because of the issues in the SMP/ MMP

    Liked by 3 people

  23. SFC Ton says:

    How many times have I said mothers are basically enemy #1 for their sons? How many examples need be cited for that to sink in?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. SFC Ton says:

    Good find Fuzzie

    Liked by 2 people

  25. SFC Ton says:

    Pretty sure Solomon said that before me darling

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Anon says:

    I don’t know why you think the rabbit has to actually come from NZ.
    Do you have to go to Germany to get a German Shepherd? France to get a French Bull dog? Mexico to to find a Mexican?
    Here are 11 NZ rabbits in MI

    Liked by 1 person

  27. SFC Ton says:

    Now that I think about it Fuzzzie, all the classic wisdom of the ages is out of favor and attacked
    Wisdom about women
    Wisdom about debt
    Wisdom about usury
    Wisdom about prudence, sound body and mind
    Wisdom about governing
    Wisdom about sexual morality

    Liked by 5 people

  28. Yoda says:

    Here’s the thing: vote Hillary, you get the process of mainstreaming this idiocy and teaching it to kids as normal and sane continuing unimpeded. Vote Trump? Maybe, maybe not. That’s not going to be enough to convince a lot of conflicted people to vote for Trump, but at least Hillary voters ought to know what they’re ratifying.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Cautiously Pessimistic says:

    Somewhat on topic:
    Want to know why industry finds it more profitable to sink billions into the R&D and rollout of an automated workforce? Same reason for MGTOW. Manual labor has been priced out of the market to the point that most employers will avoid the expense, danger, and bureaucratic nightmare of hiring an employee they don’t absolutely have to have.

    It is what it is.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. SFC Ton says:

    There are days I hate having employees and a few days a week I would like to automate the bar and especially the trucks. That’s not true. 5 days a week I want to automate 50% or more of my trucks.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Guests says:

    My advice to young fellas is find a top man and help him out. I refuse pay from the boss. I learned heaps from him and built my own business. Find a top man and find ways to help him out. but don’t be a bloody pest.
    Drain laying with the boss this morning. Cheers.

    Tom the Maori

    Liked by 2 people

  32. A few months back I met a really nice couple w two late teen boys. As we got to talking I could tell the parents were worried, not because the boys were in trouble or mischief, but because they were showing no signs of moving toward independance. They didnt want to get their licenses, go to college or get a job, or to move out. The parents, who had been latchkey kids themselves, had in turn become helicopter parents — never leaving the kids alone or asking them to fend for themselves. It was a classic case of doing the opposite of what their parents had done, which created other problems rather than aiming for the middle (not latchkey but not helicopter.) of course it’s also not totally them, society today endorses helicopter parenting. Parents who allow their children to play outdoors unsupervised risk being accused of neglect, bad parenting, or worse. I believe the rise of the sjw and the demand for “safe spaces” is also the result of this thinking.

    Liked by 3 people

  33. Ame says:

    Ton – you’re right. so was/is Solomon.

    Fuzzie – LOVE that “How to Dad” video!

    Bloom – idk if it’s all due to helicopter parenting … but i’ve noticed it around here, too, that kids are not as eager to move on, not as eager to get their DL’s, not as eager to move out. perhaps it’s more a trend. but there is definitely a case for having to be more protective of our kids than our parents were of our generation.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thank you. I posted that link at Sunshine’s and suggested that it may be OkCupid for her female rabbit. I can see her reviewing profiles right now.


  35. Sumo says:

    Welp, looks like the wimminfolk in Canuckistan won’t be allowed to vote any more, if these geniuses have anything to say about it….

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Spawny Get says:

    It’s for the best, even they admit it.

    Liked by 2 people

  37. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    How did they get into University if the snoozed their way through twelve years of grade and high school?

    Spawny Get,
    It took a while for all this to catch up with her. I am surprised i did not happen sooner. I can’t think of anyone more deserving.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Yoda says:

    Difficult to determine if City Univerdity Lecturer male or female it is

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Yoda says:

    Looks like made out of plastic she is


  40. Sunshine says:

    Women are generally hostile toward men
    Women worry if a man can enjoy himself without her, she will lose her power ( a powerful based solely on sex, manipulation, lies and deception)
    Time a man spends on anything only he benefits from dimish the return on her investment in the draft horse… I mean man. Women hate that like bankers hate to give up on usury

    I don’t think it is necessarily hostility. But it is definitely a mix of not wanting to lose power over one’s mate and also wanting to get as much labor as possible out of him. It sounds so terrible to say it, but there it is. Honestly when my husband is out puttering around in his workshop, I feel absolutely compelled to go out there and start in on him about “Shouldn’t you be doing blah blah blah?”

    Which is usually when he turns on his electric sander and taps his ear as if to say, “Sorry! Can’t hear you!”

    Anyway, I usually keep my nagging side quiet, but it’s always there under the surface, wanting to get out. As I think it is with most women. It’s just how we are, I guess.

    Liked by 4 people

  41. Yoda says:

    Zippy and George test drive this they should

    Liked by 1 person

  42. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that Connie St. Louis is one of those for whome sex is all about gender qand has been for much of her life. After a while, it shows.

    Thank you for stopping by. My advice to you is to keep your mouth shut with respect to your husbands hobbies. We need recharge time and it is diffeent for men.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    What a truly terrible concept for a vehicle! I loved it!


  44. Ame says:

    i can relate.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Good news about my oldest’s dad, his leaps and bounds of healing continue. So much so they have decided he can go straight to rehab rather than to a nursing home first, as they were planning. And his speech is now 85-90% understandable, vs. 20% just three days ago. For some reason he has a southern drawl now, but they say it will go away w time. Maybe he’s channeling Ton. Lol! Praise God, so much better than they ever expected. God is good!!! 😀 so many have been praying for this… He by all prediction should be a vegetable.

    Liked by 5 people

  46. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It is good news! Thank you for keeping us posted.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Ame says:

    YAY YAY YAY !!!!!!!

    thank you SO much for the update!

    – – – – –

    and … what’s wrong with a southern accent?!!!!!!! … just shows his accident knocked some sense into his head 😉 tehehehehe 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  48. OKRickety says:

    Re. Canadian university students and outlawing women’s suffrage

    I wonder what percentage knew what it was? Of course, the fact that they found the number they did would lead you to believe that voting privileges should have more stringent qualifying criteria than simply being 18 and not a felon.

    Liked by 2 people

  49. Yoda says:

    i can relate.

    To a propellor driven motor car you can?

    Liked by 1 person

  50. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that video was a demonstration of David Menzies credibility also. He doens’t look like the man who would sell you land in Florida, does he?


  51. Ame says:

    Yoda –
    “i can relate.

    To a propellor driven motor car you can?”


    hahaha! i’m so NOT mechanically inclined! when it comes to things that go, just let me put the key in and turn. if it needs more than that, i’m in trouble.

    – – –

    i was replying to Sunshine. sorry … should have indicated such – mom-brain-mush-moment.


    Sunshine wrote:
    “I don’t think it is necessarily hostility. But it is definitely a mix of not wanting to lose power over one’s mate and also wanting to get as much labor as possible out of him. It sounds so terrible to say it, but there it is. Honestly when my husband is out puttering around in his workshop, I feel absolutely compelled to go out there and start in on him about “Shouldn’t you be doing blah blah blah?”

    Which is usually when he turns on his electric sander and taps his ear as if to say, “Sorry! Can’t hear you!”

    Anyway, I usually keep my nagging side quiet, but it’s always there under the surface, wanting to get out. As I think it is with most women. It’s just how we are, I guess.”

    – – –

    it seems that my kids tend to migrate to where ever mom is … and i tend to migrate to where ever my husband is.

    i had a friend once with four kids and a 5000+ sf house with a room for everything. and where were the kids? where ever mom was.

    is it a loss of power? wanting to get as much labor out of our man as possible? wanting to be with him? wanting him to be with us? we’re so complicated i can’t even figure myself out sometimes …

    however, i can relate to needing to keep my nagging side quiet. i get in these ruts sometimes (hormone overload?) where it seems to take an act of God to shut my mouth 🙂 … my girls learned to stealthily exit mom’s presence when i get like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. So true about kids, today as I went back and forth to the car to unload stuff it was like I had two little ducklings. And at one point they were actually squabbling that “you are standing closer, not fair!” I was like, “oh my I am flattered but really??? How about us being a team? Here, carry something.” Lol. I made one of their favorite dinners and all was well in the world. Gnite!

    Liked by 5 people

  53. I know the days of me being practically the sun they orbit around are limited so I try to treasure it, even when it gives me claustrophobia! Lol. It’s both wonderous and suffocating, ahhhh motherhood. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Ame says:

    Bloom – if you maintain a good relationship with them, you’ll continue to be their sun and moon … cause they’re your daughters 🙂 … they might express it differently, but you’ll still be close 🙂

    my aspie-girl, though … whose sensory stuff interferes with her ability to define where she is in space in relationship to everything around her … will literally follow me around on my heels. literally. and she’s now two inches taller than i! i continually have to create a spot for her, or a line for her – especially when i’m cooking. not good to turn around with w knife in my hands and have her, literally, right behind me on my heels!

    – – –

    true story … my bff was driving somewhere with her sons in the car probably ten or so years ago now, and they were arguing about their own space in the car (out of car seats but still young) … and one yelled, “But he’s breathing my air!”

    * …!*

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Ame says:

    Yoda –

    homeschool / parenting stuff: ***warning – this is long***

    i’ve leaned a lot toward ‘unschooling’ rather than a rigid, scheduled, homeschooling routine … mostly b/c my personality is less structured … but also b/c it’s what my girls have needed in the wake of their dad dying and needing to work thru all the grief and stuff he did … and some medical things with both girls.

    a local homeschooling mom, who is a certified, experienced, math teacher, has decided to teach upper level maths in her home, and the timing being right, i signed my girls up. they are loving it.

    she and i were talking today about how well my girls are doing. the thing is … my girls are naturally bright. idk their IQ’s … they’re not off-the-charts, but they’re not lacking, either. so i’ve really not been worried about their academics at all. but i’ve been very concerned about their mental and physical and emotional health knowing that if they didn’t deal with all the crap now, it would become like an unstable volcano and erupt sometime in their future. this has caused untold anxiety with one of my sisters who is a 20 year teacher. so i’ve received subtle and not-so-subtle ‘feedback’ from my family as a result.

    but my convo this morning solidified my decisions over the last couple years. whew. parenting is hard … and you hope your choices will turn out right, but you just don’t know till time has passed.

    my oldest’s peer group graduated in june, but she’ll officially ‘graduate’ this december then begin community college working toward a degree in business … Associates first, then decide whether or not to go for a bachelors – which she’ll do great in b/c she has a mind like her dad. there are lots of things she’d like to do, but if she doesn’t understand business, she won’t succeed at them.

    as my oldest has said, my girls are about 3 years delayed on some things due to having to work thru all this stuff. but i think they’ll more than make up for that over time. dealing with the inside/internal stuff is a lot harder than the outside/external stuff. they haven’t always liked that i’ve forced them to work through it, but i think they’re beginning to see that its been not only worth it but also necessary.

    anyway … it was a huge mommy-confirmation for me this morning … that i am doing at least some things right with my girls 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  56. Ame says:

    how women need men:

    Me: “I don’t do word problems. Never could. I was fine with math till the stupid trains left the station and different times … and someone wanted to know about the stupid wheels going round and round.”

    Aspie Girl: “Mom, it’s simple! Look. You just cross out all the stuff that doesn’t matter, and you’re left with the equation.”


    women cannot simply give the facts … rather, the facts are buried in all the descriptive, emotive, flowery verbiosity we simply must relate.

    Wise men know how to sift through all that, cross out all the stuff that doesn’t matter, find the facts, and make wise and sound decisions. And we women … we need men like that. Wise is the woman who listens to this kind of man.

    Liked by 3 people

  57. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It has been a long time since I had to do word problems. Aspie girl is right. They try to throw you of the track with too much information.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    BBC on Nottingham.

    At the very least, mens should find a way to cut the cord and stop supporting the BBC.


  59. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    From the same youtuber that Yoda linked to previously. Thsi may be how the United States gets out of the crazy mess that we are in. Porsche AG was brought this low at the end of WWII.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. SFC Ton says:

    Good news Bloom!
    The cavemen type with Southern draws have their souls nailed down a little tighter then regular folks

    Liked by 3 people

  61. Yoda says:

    Funny this is.
    Watch you should

    Liked by 2 people

  62. Spawny Get says:

    I’ve seen some of the material advising on the horrors of microaggessions and cultural appropriation…terrible times. Didn’t have to worry about that in my childhood

    Still, maybe they can rustle up a bit of deja vu over Syria? Women hardest hit, obviously.


  63. Yoda says:

    What odd eyes have you do…


  64. […] Yoda on The Modern Young Male’s Path […]


  65. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post


  66. Ame says:

    Bloom –

    been thinking a little bit on your daughter having to answer over and over how she’s doing and how hard/frustrating that is for her.

    just some thoughts … take ’em or leave ’em.

    my youngest has bright red hair, and everywhere she goes, i mean … EVERYWHERE she goes … at least one person stops her and says, “Oh, you have beautiful hair! Where did you get that from?!” everywhere. since she was born.

    one day we were in a department store … she was around 2-3 and strapped into a stroller (b/c that was a very wise place for her to be in a dept store – the girl was born full-speed-ahead) … and a woman just moved into her space, and before she opened her mouth, my daughter, said, “Thank you. From my great grannie.” i’ll never forget it cause it was so cute.

    but what i had taught her was how to respectively give a standard answer to a repetitive question – not a bad thing to learn, and something that, as i’ve thought about this, she’s used in many other situations over the years.

    the other thing that might help with your daughter is to teach her to turn the question around – how to deflect the attention from herself. it could look like, “Fine, thank you. And how are you doing?” … “How is your _____.” … “What do you think of all this rain?” … etc. another good skill to learn … esp for an introvert 🙂


  67. […] The Modern Young Male’s Path […]


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