Guys are still picking up the tab, while some women offer but don’t really mean it.
Listen, we’ve all been there. It’s the end of a (somewhat?) successful date, the server brings your bill over and there’s an awkward pause that seems like a standoff in one of those old Western movies. A few scenarios could occur.
One of you will do the good ol’ let-me-pretend-to-reach-for-my-wallet move, while the other snatches up the bill and flashes an Amex like it’s no big deal. Or there could be a friendly bill tug-of-war. Someone may say, “I’ll get the next one” or “I’ll leave the tip.” I mean, the possibilities are endless, but no matter what, it’s always an uncomfortable experience, and in my opinion, the most dreaded part of the date.
Indeed, for many it is dreaded. The problem is the intersection between Feminist SIW dogma and reality. From the top line, it appears that reality is winning.
Let us start with the dogma. SIWs are just that, Strong Independent Women. Men are hopefully still strong and independent; after all, that is who these women are aping. So when two strong independent people (SIP) meet up only some kind of 50/50 arrangement will do (e.g. me this time, you next time). This is simple, and it is what equality demands.
Now, onto the reality. Notwithstanding brainwashing otherwise, guys instinctively know that they need to signal provider status (done through an act of dominance). Furthermore, who doesn’t like a free meal? This is how it goes, even if the fella is not looking for an LTR.
Once again, the reason for the discomfort is the mismatch — the must believe-in dogma meets the unassailable reality.