Where the Men Aren’t

Commenter Buena Vista recently asserted,

What I found remarkable (and a feminist blogger did not, because didn’t fit her worldview) was the 3-1 ratio of men opting out v. women. If retrospect, the women were just presaging AFBB/Open Hypergamy. (“Oh, definitely, I’ll get married after I have fun for a few years.”) Also remarkable: the study emerged from one of 10 liberal foundations that contribute 90% of liberal political cause donations. (The demon Kochs are nowhere to be found on that list, because their supposedly democracy-destroying foundation is too small.) And last, the feminist rejoinder that “who cares if a bunch of plumbers never marry, I’m joining the one percent when I get married, so that’s the only cohort that matters.”

But back in DC, the men who fit the economic model for the girls, by the time they’re forty, are not signing up in sufficient numbers to pull some girl’s wagon. They’ve already been flayed by the divorce industry. And the girls are melting down.

These are UMC (or desire to be UMC) women, looking for UMC men.  Will they find them?  Just by considering the demographics at Universities for the last 30 years, the answer would be no.  This is, of course, based on the assumption that the gateway to the UMC is through the University degree.

But beyond that, do UMC men want these high-powered women for marriage?  In my case, I am the edge of the UMC both in terms of income and prestige.  Though I surely don’t live the typical UMC lifestyle (conspicuous consumption, socializing (a.k.a.  posturing), etc.).  Living in fly-over country, we have our own version of these high-powered women– University degree(s), fast track in management, lots of adulation and awards.  In other words, lots of puffery and not so much reality (see the previous post on humility).  In my bluest of blue pill days I was never attracted to such women.

The question is why?  The short answer is that they were not value add; rather they were value subtract.  And that was before financial considerations were made.  I could see that they were extremely high maintenance, and would demand that I always be at my best so that they could show me off and get a hypergamic buzz.  They would always be arguing for their own way, primarily because they always previously had gotten their own way.  Furthermore, they did not have the wherewithal to see that they were living a lie (puffed up by affirmative action, natural attraction from men, etc.)

But then, that was me.  And perhaps I do not generalize well to other men.  Deti states,

Regarding Susan Walsh and HUS:

It bears repeating and recalling that SW has always been geared toward a very narrow, specialized demographic: politically liberal, upper middle class and upper class non-black women, aged 18-30, college educated or in college, planning on a career, and living in urban areas.

In other words, women who were her daughter 5 years ago; and women who were Susan Walsh 35 years ago.

That’s who her blog is geared towards. Consequently, the trends that affect those women are the only ones that matter to her and are the only ones she sees. And what she sees are those women, generally, doing very well and marrying by age 35, to men who look quite a bit like them demographically (except for their gender). And most of those marriages succeed (as long as we define “success” as “not getting divorced”), because the divorce rate in the US right now is lowest for men and women where both parties are college educated, upper middle class and up, and married after age 27 or so.

So to folks like SW, there are no real problems, because her clientele will statistically get married eventually. She views her job as getting her girls married off by age 40 with as few pump and dumps as possible. And she’ll likely do pretty well, mostly because this cohort of rich, liberal, white college girls from the coasts working in cubicle jobs in HR and PR do OK on their own finding men willing to marry them, as they always have from time immemorial.

Deti suggests that thees women do eventually get a man.  Perhaps it is not the ideal man that was envisioned in their minds, but a man all the same.  Effectively they are alpha-widows, and will never really have a good marriage;  dragging their husband and kids down to their misery.  They will not divorce, so there is that.  Still, in many cases, one wonders if for all, divorce would be better.

To summarize, high-powered women will invariably be disappointed by the crop of men that they can select from.  And their future husbands and their children will pay the price.

 

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