Part I is here.
At the same time I started college, my grades were pretty awesome and college was way less stressful for me than high school had been. I had so much more time I took an active interest in learning some real skills for the first time. I’m making my own indie game now in between my regular job, based on the skills I learned my first couple years of college in my free time. I also got a girlfriend for the first time. She was (and is) amazing, best thing that ever happened to me
This stuff gave me a little bit of pride that was extremely harmful to the communities I was in. Whereas before when someone generalized most men as rapists, it had given me an opportunity to feel superior to other men while still hating myself, now all of a sudden it offended my new-found self worth. Their communities thrive on self loathing disguised as elitism. And then the womens’ studies class I took in college cited people absolutely insane- like Andrea Dworkin. Even as indoctrinated as I was at the time, I still knew that class was too far.
I still find it funny that, though most of the class started out conservative and was roped into SJW mentalities, I started out SJW and by the end of the class it had practically ruined feminism for me. Because I’d been a part of it before. I knew when the professor was wrong. I knew how hollow the “peace and acceptance” spiel they preached was. I knew the counter points to their sources. It felt like a bad joke to me at the time; I knew how my classmates felt, I’d felt the same way months earlier. But I was powerless to actually explain that to anyone, they just demonise and talk in circles until the argument goes away. As I had done months earlier. At first I felt bad, ashamed, for going against everything. I wanted to be convinced again, I wanted to be a good SJW again. And all of a sudden I realized it wasn’t going to get better. I was in a university class about feminism, overrun with SJW’s, and they had worse arguments than I’d seen online. There was no smarter next level to feminism that I was just too stupid to see. That was it. I was at the top and our arguments still sucked.
He wanted it all to go away; the contradictions and the sequiturs. The Feminist’s best arguments could not make it go away. Furthermore, he wanted to un-know what he knew. For people like him and me, this could not happen.
The last straw was when I made a desperate, ditch effort to convert my brown female girlfriend to feminism with me. It failed; she said feminists in her country were crazy. We argued a bit. Finally it felt like a curtain was being pulled back and I realized the ridiculousness of it all. I was a stupid white knight arguing with a brown girl that she should be more feminist. I deconverted on the spot. I stopped being ashamed of myself, a lot of things changed about the way I see myself and the world. Ironically, I stopped seeing every situation as a men vs. women or race vs. race binary. SJW’s insist their goal is to make everyone equal, and for a long time I believed it, but their communities actually enforce factionalism and division.
So he had a moment like me, when I realized that I could never be that way. And yes, all of this silliness does encourage resentment and factionalism. This is a feature, not a bug. It is not about finding any solutions (e.g. true equality and harmony); but rather about perpetuating resentment such that one can go through life feeling the superiority of the SJW way. As for individuals, or society that are hurt by doing this; well, that is not their problem. Rather it is all on the hands of the oppressors.
So, in the end, it all just about an ego trip.
I know this post makes me look bad, I cringe every time I think about the things I used to believe and say. I feel bad about the good people I insulted and wrote off. The good news is, I’m not the same person as I was in my mid-late teens. My life actually functions and has a purpose now, so that’s nice. I try to see every situation in terms of individuals now, not sides. I’m not depressed any more, I have a regular decent paying job, I’m developing a game on the side, and I’m about to marry my wonderful fiance’.
No, it does not make you look bad. You have found the path to enlightenment. This is something that not so many discover. And via the path you took, you probably understand the situation much better than others. Go forth and spread the truth.