Yoda has graciously allowed me to do an interview. The general topic will be “Star Wars:The Force Awakens”.
Farm Boy: I noticed that you a had bit part in a small flashback. Should you have had more?
Yoda: Yes, a bigger role I should have had. Notice that no real new ideas there were. After 900 years, many I have gained. A few dispersed I could have.
Farm Boy: So perhaps you are suggesting that it was recycled material?
Yoda: True this is. Recycling hot with the PC Crowd it is. Apparently true with movies franchises also it is. Consider the Star Trek franchise if you will. Recycle Khan they did. Not even exotic he was. Just a garden-variety Britisher he would be.
Farm Boy: So what is your assessment of the picture?
Yoda: Recycled Episode IV with PC it is. After initial giddiness wears off, people see this they will.
Farm Boy: So how was the writing?
Yoda: The writing actually kind of good it was. Brought Lawrence Kasdan back they did. Good move this was. Notice any teen angst you did? Hmm? Any dopey love dialog there was? Hmm? Jar-Jar there would be? Hmm?
Farm Boy: You mentioned PC. Could you elaborate?
Yoda: A sheila field commander of the elite stormtroopers there was. Anybody believe this they do?
Farm Boy: Anything more?
Yoda: A young poor barely surviving scavenger sheila suddenly becomes a great pilot she does? Hmm? Anakin and Luke Skywalker practiced much they did. The Force strong it is. But without practice, work well it will not. This the reason I trained Jedi for 800 years it was.
Farm Boy: Is that all?
Yoda: “Is that all” you ask. The force deep and complex it is. Much more to it there is. Yet, master Jedi swordplay almost instantly the sheila did. Boggles the mind this does. Apparently not even sammiches she can make. Eats instant food she does. Not even use a microwave oven she does. And expect us to believe all of these skills instantly to her they come?
Farm Boy: Back to the writing. Can you comment further?
Yoda: Lawrence Kasdan wrote the Empire Strikes Back he did. Recall the many unresolved threads your do? Similarity there is? Hmm? Good this is, or bad this is, I know not.
Farm Boy: So how about the new villain?
Yoda: Reminds me of Dark Helmet from Spaceballs he would. Put his helmet on: looks like a menacing character he does. Take it off:looks like a bratty silly kid he does.
Farm Boy: So let us consider the accents. Were they evenly distributed?
Yoda: The Bad Guy General Irish he was. His mentor, a Londoner he was. The new masked villain: a ‘Merican he was. The storm trooper leader: another Londoner she would be.
Both of the new young heroes Londoners they are. Perhaps “Star Wars: The London Civil War” the title should be.
Farm Boy: So what is your final assessment?
Yoda: Really? Done this they did? Better than the prequels they were. But much better they could have been.
Farm Boy: Thank you for your time Master Yoda.
Yoda: Welcome you are.