Online Dating


Ton from “A Simple Question” stated,

Online dating…. yea I get it. It’s damn hard for most adults to meet other adults. And when you do go out, men have been programmed to not talk to her at the bar because she just wants to chat with her friends, cannot talk to her at the night club because she went there to dance not get hit on, cannot talk to her at the gym because she is there to workout, cannot talk to her at Starbucks because she has her nose buried in a screen, cannot talk to her work because sexual harassment ( and you know, you work with women so…….)

Later RedPillGirl said,

I’d advise against online dating, too. Lots of cray cray there.

Liz followed up,

Yep. Industrial strength level cray.

Here we have a fella suggesting that with lots of other venues for meeting women off limits (but perhaps not to the most sexy men), that online might be an effective avenue.  Ideally it would allow men to better match up with what they are looking for; though exaggerations are common and foul this up.  Still even so, there might be better matches obtained than hitting up women at the local coffee shop.  Furthermore, though there are many rejections to be found (often by not replying), at least the aspect of public embarrassment is off the table.

And if a tentative connection is made via online dating, the participants can through the messaging system that all online dating systems have learn about each other further in a less stressed manner.  Furthermore, they can do so over the course of time, which lets people ease into a possible relationship.  This potentially is better that the snap judgements required when meeting people in person randomly (e.g. at a coffee shop).

And even better for introverts, it allows them the chance to avoid meat market type situations where their performance is often poor.  It allows online situations to come to the fore, where they typically do well.

But, as evidenced on the “A Simple Question” thread, and many other threads previous, it has a very poor reputation.  The two women quoted at the top of this post clearly and unequivocally denounce it.  So apparently, the downsides out weight the potential upsides.

Discuss among yourselves.

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, HowTo, Lies, Uncategorized
129 comments on “Online Dating
  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    On the face of it, you would think that online dating would work. I have to tell that it doesn’t. Along with all other successful venues for meeting the opposite sex, the women have advantaged themselves to the point where it just breaks down. In the the case of online dating, they’re holding out for a guy our of their league. When they get him, the best it can be is temporary. It also allows for “choice addition” as the pool is so much larger than who you can meet in real life.
    As for not replying, that’s pervasive. OkCupid had little dots that would tell the relative response rate of a woman. Green for good, yellow for caution, red for don’t bother. The last time I signed on, about two years ago, they were mostly red.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. JDG says:

    It’s like anything else, how you use it. If you’re looking to marry, vet very carefully. If you’re looking for anything else I’m afraid I can’t be very much help.

    Slightly modified old saying: Better a sammich from Subway than a trip through family court.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. blurkel says:

    I wouldn’t date online if I got lucky every single time. You have no way to verify anything about them before you get involved. I much prefer knowing what I’m getting into before I trip the Tender Trap.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    JDG,

    I think that part of my difficulty stemmed from saying that I wanted long term.
    I have since foun outt that is a “beta” declaration.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. JDG says:

    Fuzzy I wonder if that bear could appreciate the difference between a Subway sammich and this:

    Liked by 4 people

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    He just texted me. “Please, send me one!”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Farm Boy says:

    A few years back, I put some profiles on some now defunct sites. One site asked for my approximate income. I received lots of responses on that site, none of them very well written or appealing. It is fortunate that gold-diggers are usually obvious.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Farm Boy says:

    It also allows for “choice addition” as the pool is so much larger than who you can meet in real life.

    Dalrock has lots on choice addiction,

    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/category/choice-addiction/

    Here is a sample from his large stable of posts on the subject,

    Haley’s Halo has a fascinating piece on the bad marriage advice given to Evanglical Christian women titled The importance of having chemistry. She references advice given to a woman from boundless.org, a part of Focus on the Family. The woman’s problem was that after two years of dating a man, she still didn’t have “chemistry” (sexual attraction) with him. The man is preparing to propose to her and she wanted advice on what to do. Haley pointed out that the reply was to essentially shame the woman into marrying the man even though on the sexual attraction scale the man was (Haley’s words) “Not In A Million Years”. I’m entirely with Haley on this. This is in my opinion just another example of the church loving weddings more than it hates divorce. In my last blog post advising men on marriage, I started with the assumption that the couple was head over heels in love with each other, and had great chemistry. Shaming people into marriage when the marriage isn’t likely to be successful is short sighted and neglects the risks both to the spouses themselves as well as their future children.

    However, what struck me more than the bad advice being dispensed was how unbelievably cliché the woman’s predicament was. She was torn (in her mind) between an old boyfriend (badboy rocker who dropped out of college to join a commune) and her new one (pre med dutiful beta). At this point I found myself strangely compelled to clutch the monitor to my bosom, sigh wistfully, and sip some chamomile tea while musing ahhhh, which to choose….

    Ok, I admit I made that last part up. But flashbacks of being forced to read tripe literature from the Bronte sisters in High School did sear my brain, as well as this image:

    But even more surprising than how profoundly cliché her situation was, is the fact that I’m evidently the only person to see this. This is one of the most common themes in entertainment targeted to women. The theme is so powerful a woman Senator recently felt compelled to ask the current supreme court nominee which Twilight love interest she would choose.

    My wife thankfully can’t stand chick flicks or romance novels, but has noted the common theme in many Danielle Steel novels/movies where the woman moves to a new exciting place after becoming a widow, only to fall in love again (where’s my chamomile tea?). She’s troubled by the fantasy being sold to women of having their spouse die so they can re choose another love of their life. I agree, but I’m convinced they only sell this because there is such a willing audience. If men fantasized about their wives dying and meeting an exciting new woman in some exotic locale, you can bet that Spike TV would be showing male equivalents of these Lifetime movies.

    But the idea of the choice frozen in time, the re-choosing after choosing, reconnecting with an ex, and replaying the choice in an endless loop are strictly female entertainment themes. Occasionally you may see this theme altered such that the man is the one choosing, but even here the target audience is women (just like the recent trend to insert wedding scenes into superhero movies).

    The male equivalent to this female instinct is to have multiple women at the same time. This you will see played out on Spike, porn, you name it. So here’s an easy rule of thumb. If the central conflict of the story is which twin to choose, this is aimed at women. If the central conflict is how to get with both twins at once, this is aimed at men.

    But there is another difference. Men’s instinct to be with multiple women is acknowledged by society and curbs are placed against this instinct. Obviously this is an instinct which doesn’t fit well with marriage. However, women’s instinct to endlessly re-choose is continuously fed at a fantasy level while denied as being real at a societal level. Women who fantasize about their husband’s death so they can choose another man aren’t shamed the way that men are shamed for wanting to build their own private harem.

    Moreover, for all of the shaming directed at men for objectifying women with pornography, women don’t get called out on this. In the example of the christian woman who had constructed her own personal twilight fantasy, there is no shaming for her mistreatment of pre med man. No one called her on her behaving as if he was a character in her own private play and not a real human being. Her only hesitation against marrying him was her own dissatisfaction; it never occurred to her that he deserved to find a woman who honestly loved him.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. JDG says:

    He just texted me. “Please, send me one!”

    lol … he’ll have to share. There’s lots of bears in those woods.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Sumo says:

    Is that a beef carpaccio sandwich?

    Like

  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    It has been a while since I read that. Sadly, all too true.

    About online dating, it should work. Boy looks at lots of profiles and sends a message to one he likes. Girl reads message. likes boy, and they write back and forth for a little while. They meet for coffee and it can take off from there.
    At any point in the above, either can drop out in full security. Neither knows the full identity of the other.
    It’s only supposed to get you to the introductory stage but, that is a big help.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I didn’t state income on my profile. Financial intimacy is a level deeper than boyfriend/girlfriend. Are these erstwhile parasite looking for a shortcut?

    JDG,
    Maybe he can make friends with a local who likes to barbeque. Do some kind of trade of services? Those are very good looking sandwiches!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. JDG says:

    Is that a beef carpaccio sandwich?

    Fillet Mignon. Here’s how to make them:

    Fuzzy you may want to share this with your friends in the woods.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. JDG says:

    Now I’m hungry and I shouldn’t be cause I’ve already eaten.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. JDG says:

    You may want some roasted potatoes to go with those sammiches:

    Liked by 1 person

  16. SFC Ton says:

    The number one reason to avoid on line dating is a fear of rejection

    Like

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I shouldn’t eat this close to bdtime but, you have tempted me. I am salivating.. I want it all!

    Like

  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    SFC Ton,
    Rejection is a certainty. What is to fear? It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall. It feels so good when you stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I do know people who have met through online dating and it worked well for them.

    I think it requires a lot of patience and a somewhat thick skin.

    I did try online dating but found it not as effective as I thought it would be. Despite all the profile reading, photos, emails, and phone calls it seemed to me anyway that it all came down to that first in person meeting. One or the other or both would often then decide, “meh, not so much” pretty quickly. It felt artificial, built up.

    In real life, it seems that gets sorted out up front, then things proceed rather than lots of time and energy invested up front only to find you never would have picked that person in person to begin with.

    Then there’s the whole problem of people misrepresenting themselves, being predatory, or simply dishonest. Those online dating should for sure verify and take things slowly enough to sort out the scammers from the real.

    And honestly I didn’t really give it a fair shot, or maybe have the right approach. At that time I hadn’t dated in over 15 years and in the meantime it seemed all the rules had changed. Maybe I was the one who wasn’t ready, in retrospect.

    Liked by 5 people

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    There are two things that I have mentioned in the past but should be repeated. Ashley Madison, hopefully defunct, specialty online dating site for adulturers was bent as could be. Aaron Clarey, via Gizmodo, sid that for every woman checking mesages, there were something like forty two thousand men. Terrence popp discovered that for eery tenthousand men’s profiles, there were three, just three, women’s profiles.
    There is no oversight in this industry. All they care about is increasing revenue. The last thing they want to do is deliver a product that works.

    Liked by 4 people

  21. Sumo says:

    Re: online dating – The Mighty Sumo thinks it’s a stoopid idea. I wouldn’t buy a car without seeing it in person and taking it for a test drive, so why the hell would I want to potentially get involved with a girl before “inspecting the merchandise”, so to speak?

    I’m not saying that she needs to hop on the Sumo Train two seconds after meeting me (but honestly, why wouldn’t she?), but I still think it’s necessary to have an initial face to face meeting.

    If the girl doesn’t rev my motor upon first contact, then there’s no point in trying to take things any further. Likewise for her; as preposterous as it may sound, there’s absolutely a chance that The Mighty Sumo doesn’t soak her panties at first sight, so why should either of us waste our time?

    Liked by 4 people

  22. Yoda says:

    OkCupid had little dots that would tell the relative response rate of a woman. Green for good, yellow for caution, red for don’t bother.

    Something useful to the fellas this would be.
    Odd this is

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Yoda says:

    Wonder if paying more improves quality of experience I do.
    Money weed out less serous/desirable it does?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Yoda says:

    I do know people who have met through online dating and it worked well for them.

    What made it work for them it did?

    Like

  25. Yoda says:

    Rejection is a certainty. What is to fear?

    Compared to the common and very painful nuclear rejection, very little it would seem.

    Wonder if women post their online rejections social media I do

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Yoda says:

    Wonder this I do.
    If a rejection happens
    and a person sees it not,
    happen it did?

    Liked by 2 people

  27. SFC Ton says:

    Fuzzie, odds are I have been rejected more times then any other man regularly posting here. Get turned down 20 plus times in an afternoon and you get use to it

    Besides if you get shut down right away you are doing it all wrong

    Men do the online thing because they fear rejection and as a rule men should not act of fear, especially fear that doesn’t represent an actual physical threat.

    Liked by 3 people

  28. Liz says:

    “I think that part of my difficulty stemmed from saying that I wanted long term.
    I have since foun outt that is a “beta” declaration.”

    Probably so, from what I’ve heard of Tinder, Fuzzie.
    I’ve never tried online dating but the stories I’ve heard about Tinder are pretty revealing.
    I think I’ve mentioned before somewhere there are pilots that get on Tinder and it sounds like of like a free whore service. They’ll meet the person for the first time in front of the hotel room, in whatever sitting they crash for the night. I’m not sure what sort of smooth lines a guy could throw that would lead up to that, but I suspect it’s just, “Hey, I’m a pilot”. What kind of woman would be up for that? No surprise something like nine out of ten of the female STD cases are Tinder girls.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Liz says:

    Ton: “Fuzzie, odds are I have been rejected more times then any other man regularly posting here. Get turned down 20 plus times in an afternoon and you get use to it”

    Two nights ago we were out with friends (another couple). The guy got married late in life and he had quite a past. At any rate, somehow the subject of women and shagging came up and he came of age near Daytona back when it was THE hotspot.
    I’m sure he was embellishing a bit, or maybe not, but he said that if you hadn’t been rejected 50 times in one night, you weren’t trying (fwiw, he’s the one married to the Nordic chick).

    Liked by 2 people

  30. SFC Ton says:

    The narrative is men are wild horses, untamed mustangs etc and women have to trick you into the corral. Stating you want an ltr says you are already in the corral…. yea beta

    For the record, I have never tracked how many times I was turned down in a row. I

    Liked by 1 person

  31. SFC Ton says:

    I found this interesting. Think about what it says about men in large, what men will do to earn good money etc

    http://news.yahoo.com/north-dakota-man-camps-battle-pending-ban-oil-165203307–finance.html

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Yoda says:

    Odd that cities chase away men that make good money they do.
    Expect them to buy permanent houses for temporary jobs they do?
    Another example of clownish political class behavior it is.

    Liked by 2 people

  33. SFC Ton says:

    To my reckoning, how can you dislike a group of men motivated enough to do that kind of work and live in those conditions?

    Speaks well to their man cred

    Liked by 4 people

  34. Yoda says:

    The narrative is men are wild horses, untamed mustangs

    Some men disciplined they are.
    Jedis examples they would be.
    Rewarded this is not

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Yoda says:

    Wonder if Moe or Darth Maul ever tried online dating they did

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Yoda says:

    “I think that part of my difficulty stemmed from saying that I wanted long term.

    I have since found out that is a “beta” declaration.”

    Perhaps thought that beta bucks always available they are.
    But tingles forever they would be

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Yoda says:

    I think I’ve mentioned before somewhere there are pilots that get on Tinder and it sounds like of like a free whore service.

    Apparently officers and gentlemen they are not.
    There are codes of conduct for officers are there not?

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Liz says:

    “Apparently officers and gentlemen they are not.
    There are codes of conduct for officers are there not?”

    These are airline pilots, not USAF pilots, Yoda.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Yoda says:

    Perhaps online dating sites make clear for who they do cater.
    Hookups for tinder it would be.
    General sluts for other sites
    And other sites for LTRs
    Work this idea would?

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Yoda says:

    Autocorrect never recognize the word “slut” does.
    Always tries to correct to “slit” it would.
    Probably a conspiracy here there is

    Liked by 3 people

  41. Spawny Get says:

    The way to scare the beJesus out of the ungrateful scrotes in North Dakota is to start seeing if any migrant population requires mass housing. Don’t like evil, hard working single white men that are taxed? Try some other demographics, see how you go. People won’t be needing to go looking for issues to blow out of proportion any more.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Farm Boy says:

    Milo,

    I keep building my audience as theirs atrophies, how I keep eating their lunch on stories like Shaun King’s race and charity shenanigans, the U.N. Cyber Violence report, GamerGate and any of the other things I or my team are first at. Conservatives believe it’s because I can speak to people below thirty, and because I have a shockingly good handle on social marketing and information war strategy. Liberals blame it all on “hackers,” “misogynists,” “trolls,” and “harassers,” to whom they credit all my major wins.

    But my secret isn’t really any of that. Sure, I work harder than everyone else, sleep less than everyone else (four hours, on average), I’m funnier, more charming, smarter, better looking and more modest than everyone else. But that’s not the whole story.

    My technique isn’t some great contact book, or a crack team of cyber commandos, or some big secret social engineering secret. Nor is it even the fact that I’ve made myself social justice-proof by letting my flamboyant personality loose in public and never shutting up about black boyfriends. (They can’t get me on racism, homophobia or misogyny, so half the time they don’t even bother showing up to debate me.)

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2015/11/23/why-im-winning/

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Yoda says:

    (They can’t get me on racism, homophobia or misogyny, so half the time they don’t even bother showing up to debate me.)

    Telling this is.
    Can’t argue on merits their position they can.
    Only use low tricks they do

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Yoda says:

    The way to scare the beJesus out of the ungrateful scrotes in North Dakota is to start seeing if any migrant population requires mass housing.

    “Low income housing” once called it was.
    Then “affordable housing” it was
    Now “mixed housing” it would be

    Like

  45. Spawny Get says:

    From the Milo story
    http://www.nouse.co.uk/2015/11/23/we-need-to-talk-about-milo/

    “The University of York has a nationally-renowned reputation for on-campus free speech and engagement.”

    Like fook it has. A strong advocate of ‘no platform’ back in the eighties. I’m supposed to believe the infantile fuckers involved in the KinderPolitics toned it down in the meantime? Sod off. Not buying your horse-shit. ‘Nouse’ is an ironic name (at best)

    Having said that, the comments give one heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Spawny Get says:

    ‘Cuthbert Spunkbubble’ speaks wisely (great name, though I’m hoping that it’s made up)

    And I’m one of those aforementioned liberals that can’t stand the vile SJW culture “liberalism” has degenerated into. I reject that shit completely.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Liz says:

    Funny pie anecdote (since I dont’ have a blog and Swithy doesn’t mind…thanks, Swithers!)
    There’s a place around here with GREAT key lime pie. The secret, of course, is in the crust. The kids love this pie and it goes for five bucks a slice (highway robbery), and we usually get a few pieces to share and it’s gone in 2 seconds flat, with dueling fork wars not unlike a bunch of piranha.
    Last Friday, I said, “I can make this at home.”
    They were intrigued, “Mama can make this sort of pie?”
    “Yes, you bet yer arses, kiddos! The secret is in the pan. All I need is a springform pan”
    So I bought one, and last night I tried it
    (like I do all things, it was all TLAR…”that looks about right”)
    I knew I had to use a lot of graham cracker crumbs to get that sort of pie, so I just used the whole box.

    Somehow, the pie crust folded over the top and swelled (no baking powder, I have no idea how this happened). When we took it out of the oven, the crust was about two inches thick all aroudn the pie. Everyone took pictures and sent it on their cells, while pissing themselves laughing so hard.
    Yeah, it was thick. Yeah, it was ugly.
    But, it didn’t last an hour so it was also very tasty.
    😛

    Liked by 4 people

  48. Yoda says:

    Unappealing this woman is.
    Date her I would not.

    kindergarten teacher in Bainbridge Island, Wash., actively denies her male students the opportunity to play with Lego blocks in order to encourage her female students to play with them.

    Karen Keller bars the boys in her class from playing with the colorful blocks, even going so far as to lie to them about their opportunity to play.

    “I always tell the boys, ‘You’re going to have a turn’ — and I’m like, ‘Yeah, when hell freezes over’ in my head,” Keller told the Bainbridge Island Review. “I tell them, ‘You’ll have a turn’ because I don’t want them to feel bad.”

    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/update-kindergarten-teacher-denies-legos-to-boys-in-name-of-gender-equity/article/2576760

    Perhaps other commenters appropriate names for her they might find.

    Liked by 3 people

  49. Spawny Get says:

    “since I dont’ have a blog and Swithy doesn’t mind…thanks, Swithers!”

    no problem. long as I get a first print run copy of Pimpin’

    Liked by 2 people

  50. Yoda says:

    while pissing themselves laughing so hard.

    Better cause for doing so than for feminism it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Spawny Get says:

    ‘arses’ and ‘shagging’ (earlier)
    Are you abandoning your renegade ways and turning to the Imperium?

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Spawny Get says:

    “Perhaps other commenters appropriate names for her they might find.”

    A veritable plethora of them occur to me. Too much typing on my sticky key keyboard.

    Like

  53. Spawny Get says:


    Poll: Majority Of Britons Want To Leave The EU After Paris Attacks

    Personally I don’t know why so many took so long. ’bout time

    The ORB survey of 2,000 people showed 52 percent of British voters wanted to leave while 48 percent wanted to stay. In similar polls in June, July and September, a majority had wanted to stay in the EU.

    A British divorce would shake the bloc to its core, ripping away its second largest economy and one of its top two military powers. Pro-Europeans warn an exit from the EU would hurt Britain’s economy and could trigger the break-up of the United Kingdom by prompting another Scottish independence vote.

    Other polls have shown British support for staying in the European Union fell this year as an influx of migrants into Europe raised concerns about membership.

    As long as the Scots pay for half the newly required border wall…bon fucking voyage. Good luck paying the bills on what passes for an oil revenue. And when we stop employing a huge number of British civil servants in your country, good luck with tax income and unemployment.

    And the EU would likely fall apart too. Proving that Britain truly cares for the European peoples. We just hate their bureaucrats and politicians. And lawyers and Judges.

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Liz says:

    “Perhaps other commenters appropriate names for her they might find.”

    Karen Keller is a smeller, she will never get a feller….

    Liked by 1 person

  55. Liz says:

    I hate it when I’m in the public restroom, and someone takes a large Karen Keller right next to my stall.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Liz says:

    Speaking of which….I wonder what happened to Proudman?

    Liked by 1 person

  57. The couples I have seen online dating work for usually are customers visiting my biz so I often can’t ask as many questions as I would like.

    One such couple, married w/I the last two years, both went on a LOT of coffee dates prior to meeting each other. It sounded like they approached it rather methodically. Both had a firm idea of what they wanted and were looking for. They both tried to set up the first in person meetings right away vs. spending a lot of time corresponding prior to meeting. They assumed going in that the odds of any particular date being a match, so they didnt take it as hard if it wasn’t, they just kept going. A rejection was seen more as just par for the course rather than as a measure of their worth as a person/partner. I don’t know how to put it exactly but they didnt seem overly emotionally invested in any particular outcome, outcome independance? I am not sure what service they used.

    Another couple I know met online just as she was about to give up on online dating. She noticed him after she hadn’t checked her account in months and was going on to shut it down! He was recently frivorced so she was very patient to give him the time and space to work through that wo pressure of “where is this going?” They moved in together first, married two years later. I actually thought they were married, they seemed so, but realized they weren’t when they rented my place for a reception (they married in a low key courthouse setting, skipped the wedding hoopla part.) they met on Match.com.

    One would think paid services would mean more motivated people but I think such services have incentive to play games too, to keep customers around. A gal I know who tried Match said they kept sending her matches from several states away despite her specifying local matches only. Then Match started pitching “personalized” matching for a $5,000 fee. She did go on some dates from Match, so I suppose it worked, but she was not in a good space and I think the guys could feel that. She was basically searching for a guy w money rather than for a true partner. So it not working for her is not necessarily anyone’s fault but her own and I am not sure it’s a good example (except of cray cray.)

    As for my saying in comments about online dating and cray cray, I guess what I meant is that online dating kind of provides a perfect platform for personality disorder types to do what they do. So one needs to be wary of that. Someone who seems too good to be true, love bombs, or moves really fast should be regarded w caution. People who are too needy for external affirmation ( pleeeeease just love me!) are likewise wide open to such types. So that’s what I meant by it being full of cray cray, both predator types and all too willing prey.

    Liked by 3 people

  58. I have always agreed w the PUA advice of approach, approach, approach. Like Ton says the more one does so, the more skills they build, the less chips they place on any one approach, the easier it all gets. And also I’d agree w what Ton had to say about a guy building his own value, looking and being his personal best, actively building his attraction value. And absolutly show no fear. Women pick up on a guy’s fear and uncertainty like a horse does almost, she may not know what’s behind his fear or hesitation or doubt but she’ll feel it and react w fear and hesitation herself. A guy showing hesitation or uncertainty is practicing huge anti game. Assume the sale, so they say!

    Liked by 3 people

  59. Liz says:

    I got botox today. Now my facial expression should match the other ladies in the community.
    Will keep ya all posted.
    Since, OT conversation is acceptable in Swithyland.
    Squee!
    I am hoping I have no adverse reaction…so far so good.

    Liked by 2 people

  60. Liz says:

    But, if this stuff actually effects my brain, I’ll probably be the last to know.
    Just a heads up….

    Liked by 2 people

  61. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    Last I heard, Charlotte Proudman has a column in The Guardian along with Julie Bindel and Jessica Valenti.

    As for names for Karen Keller, how about feminist? Like her colleagues, she derives joy from causing harm. That she is picking on five year old boys is pretty low.

    Liked by 1 person

  62. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t think that upping the subscription rate would help. What is needed are larger sites and fewer of them. This would allow for more choice within a reasonable distance.

    Five thousand dollars for a Match.com service? It better ome with aguarantee!
    They should be selling land in Florida.

    About rejection, everyone’s tolerance is different. I have said it before, for a lot of men, online dating is the last straw before throeing in the towel.

    Like

  63. Farm Boy says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    How would you design an online dating system?

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Farm Boy says:

    About rejection, everyone’s tolerance is different

    Maybe we should train all boys how to do it and to build up a tolerance.

    If the system is broken, then guys have to compensate

    Liked by 2 people

  65. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    As for a new system, that would require a lot of thought. The first thing tha comes to mind woul be to limit men to only one initial post a day. The women, knowing that, would know the guy means business.
    I have heard that eHarmony requires a certain amount of messaging. They also dole out about eight profile at a time for review.

    I don’t think that toughening up boys to prepare them for rejection is the best of ideas. From what I have seen, modern women are rejecting men an order of magnitude more than they could before online dating. The boy’s lifetime rejection tank is filling up that much quicker.

    Then, there is the manner of rejection. Nuclear rejection is a new phenomenon.
    Dalrock has a story about a pastor that encouraged the boys to try. It was in Malibu CA where the 666 rule applies. (Over six foot tall, have a six figure income, if not, deep six him) These church boys and girls had to have equal status by virtue of attending the same church. It did not end well. Nuclear rejecions all over the parking lot after service.

    It would seem as if modern women are doing their level best to alienate men.

    Like

  66. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    More bad press for men.

    http://www.cotwa.info/2015/11/new-york-magazine-says-large-number-of.html

    It’s not sexist if feminsts do it. Nor is it libel.

    Like

  67. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom has a new post. It’s tangential.

    http://notesfromaredpillgirl.com/2015/11/24/addicted-to-choice/#comments

    Liked by 2 people

  68. @ fuzzie I get what you are saying, rejection is no fun. I guess I was trying to say w online dating it probably helps to see it as part of the process rather than as rejection. It’s not personal, although it can feel very much so. A lot of people seem to say its a numbers game, every no is one step closer to yes.

    Like I said I found it lacking. I am an online dating dropout myself. So I am not sure I really know, just sharing what I have been told.

    You seem to be an amazingly kind and gentle soul Fuzzie. Any gal would be lucky to have you! I hope you end up with the unicorn to end all unicorns! 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  69. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,.
    I haad that conversation with a woman I made friends with on OkCupid. About not taking it personally, it’s a numbers game and all the rest. It’s personal and the numbers, for men, are astronomical.
    Thanks for rhe good wishes. I don’t think that any of it will come to pass, despite my efforts.
    I just have to learn to accept.

    Like

  70. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yesterday, I kinked to a Dalrock post about a woman claimi8ng abuse by her husband who has spent the last three years in an Iranian prison for preaching Christianity.
    Today, he wrote a follow up.

    https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2015/11/24/guilty-if-charged/

    This is embarrassing. After reading this, who can support marriage?

    Like

  71. Liz says:

    I made a lot of friends in there. 🙂
    (that was sarcasm)
    Before anyone says anything
    1) I think it is horrific thing to do.
    2) It is so horrific I looked into her history (as much as I could) and it seems very very out of character for her.
    3) I’ve seen the media drum up claims before…many, many, many times that taken out of context were not exactly true.
    4) It is so horrific AND out of character for her I’m curious if there might be some other explanation. I think the Christian Times should not have published this information, and now there are many many other media sources publishing this information which seems to have all been gathered from the Christian Times article.

    Liked by 2 people

  72. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    I have to say that any rag that runs with this story will wish they hadn’t. How can a man, incarcerated for the last three years, possibly abuse his wife? In the last post, Dalrock mentioned that the only way he can contact her is via Skype or email.

    Liked by 2 people

  73. SFC Ton says:

    For a typical man limiting him to one approach a day for an online dating site would defeat the one advantage of online dating; multiple targets( I have used online dating myself, to set up dates a week or so before I come back from deployment but like I said for typical men)

    Men, it is fucking stupid to write an individual message for each bitch on the interwebz. She doesn’t give a fuck about your message. She is going to look at the photo of you then reply, “read” your profile (ie look at the rest of your photos) before replying or deleting your message or delete your message out of hand

    To fix online dating fine people for lying/ false photos, for not replying at all(a thanks but no thanks would count as a reply and for not going on x amount of dates per month. Also never list users who haven’t been on in a week.

    Like

  74. SFC Ton says:

    Given the large number of women I have seen fuck other men while their husbands are on deployment, lie about paternity, lie about abuse, leave wounded husbands etc I would say that lady Dalrock posted about turning her back on her imprisoned, husband is acting within 100% or her nature

    Fact is we will never know for sure so I have wasted 0 mental effort on the subject

    Like

  75. Sumo says:

    I waste 0 mental effort on a number of subjects. It’s one of the perks of not giving a fuck.

     photo fvcks2_zpsn4vzikwj.jpg

    Liked by 2 people

  76. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    SFC Ton,
    I can se women being picky and not responding. Men, in turn, sending out one line greetings to ten ore twenty women at a time. That sounds like one error being compounded by another.
    Women are in the position of power. That they are abusing it asks for a different response.

    I am tired of seeing quotes from feminist screeds about dating saying that men are plentiful and cheap.

    Liked by 1 person

  77. SFC Ton says:

    Its always a number game Fuzzie and if you can message only one a day imagine how swollen her ego will be….

    Liked by 1 person

  78. Liz says:

    LOL!
    Thanks Sumo that was REALLY funny. 😀

    Like

  79. Liz says:

    Mike showed me this one:

    Liked by 1 person

  80. Sumo says:

    Yeah, I have that one stored on my computer, too. I just prefer the imagery of the actual barren field.

    Like

  81. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    SFC Ton,
    I don’t know if it is a numbers game. As you pointed out, a lot of women are in to have their egos stroked and little else.
    After your input, I don’t think there is a way to make online dating work. That is a sad outcome because it’s so promising on paper.
    As I said, online dating is the last resort for a lot of men.

    Like

  82. blurkel says:

    @farmboy3646

    Her only hesitation against marrying him was her own dissatisfaction; it never occurred to her that he deserved to find a woman who honestly loved him.

    It’s a sad fact, as we have all discussed on this site, that women are all about self-realization and aggrandizement with nary a thought about the costs. Dalrock’s example boundless.org female is only seeing the potential earnings of pre-med man in her marital deliberations.

    Now Dalrock doesn’t bring this up, but I suspect that the example female has NO CLUE about the specifics of her own sexuality, for we all know that religious women tend to be strongly discouraged from knowing anything at all about this. Instead, being told that Mr. Right will teach her all she needs to know, she expects him to deal with it all, because he “just gets it“. Lest my dementia is worse than I know, I believe we here have had a lot of recent discussion about him “just getting it“. She thus has no alternate basis -other than economic- upon which to base her marital decisions. It isn’t discussed, but the “bad boy rocker” who “ran off to the commune” wasn’t necessarily an actual lover of our example woman. She may well still be a virgin.

    At this point, I have to turn my attention to pre-med man. There is no discussion at all of why he’s even involved with this woman. Does he see her as pliable enough to hold down the home front while he’s off learning how to play doctor? Does he see her as passive enough to not want anything he doesn’t give her? Does he feel he can achieve total control over her?

    Much is left unsaid about him which is vital to understanding this mess. Yet I believe it sufficient to expect that nothing good can and will come of this, and I’ve read too many times about how such medical-related relationships end in horrible tragedies to hope for a good outcome.

    One such tragedy I will never forget was a doctor who was attempting to retain custody of his son through a messy divorce. He tried fleeing the country, leaving everything behind, to avoid surrendering his son to his doctor wife’s custody. She called the cops as soon as she discovered her son wasn’t where he was supposed to be, and they quickly located the father driving toward the airport with his son in the car. The father refused to stop, and once he was finally cornered, he was seen hugging his son very tightly. The cops watched helplessly as the father shot his son, and then himself.

    I wasn’t able to locate a link to the story, but it really did happen some years ago. There clearly was no love between the parents, and maybe never was. Each was just the means to a specific end for the other, as it’s clear (to me, at least) that pre-med man is to the example woman.

    Like

  83. blurkel says:

    @ Ton

    The number one reason to avoid on line dating is a fear of rejection

    I disagree. I can be rejected non-stop for weeks online while I’d really prefer to not experience a single rejection in person. Seeing the look in her eyes might well not be too pleasant.

    @ Fuzzie

    Rejection is a certainty. What is to fear? It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall. It feels so good when you stop.

    Brother Bear speaks wisely.

    @ Bloom

    Despite all the profile reading, photos, emails, and phone calls it seemed to me anyway that it all came down to that first in person meeting. One or the other or both would often then decide, “meh, not so much” pretty quickly.

    You prove my point, Bloom.

    @ Sumo

    The Mighty Sumo thinks it’s a stoopid idea. I wouldn’t buy a car without seeing it in person and taking it for a test drive, so why the hell would I want to potentially get involved with a girl before “inspecting the merchandise”, so to speak?

    I agree 100%!

    @ Ton

    …as a rule men should not act of fear, especially fear that doesn’t represent an actual physical threat.

    Rejection fear isn’t about physical threat as much as it is the loss of self-esteem. Today’s men have enough trouble with self-worth, and few of us look forward to having it battered to bits (especially by a woman) and left for us to reconstruct.

    @ Liz

    No surprise something like nine out of ten of the female STD cases are Tinder girls.

    Can you support that contention, Liz? If true, I think we should be able to show the evidence. Tomorrow’s men will need to know.

    …but he said that if you hadn’t been rejected 50 times in one night, you weren’t trying…

    An old friend tells of his days in the Marine Corps while stationed at 29 Palms. He and a friend would cruise the main drag in Palm Springs ever Friday night. At each stoplight, if the friend saw a woman who interested him, he’d motion for her to roll down her window. Then he’d ask, point blank, “Would you like to [engage in coitus]?” While it might seem obvious that he’d be rejected with such an approach, it was rare for an hour to pass before he found someone to take him up on his proposition.

    I have no reason to believe that my friend was embellishing.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. SFC Ton says:

    Fear of rejection limits your potential, and no just the SMP

    The easy way out always fucks you in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

  85. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Blurkel,
    Liz has mentioned this before. Her source is not a formal survey but, anecdotal from medical profssionals. I would give it credence.
    The more that I hear about Tinder, the wore it gets.

    Like

  86. Farm Boy says:

    The more that I hear about Tinder, the wore it gets.

    “The more that I hear about Tinder, the whore it gets.”

    Corrected that for you.

    Liked by 6 people

  87. Dragonfly says:

    Omg Liz… Laughing so hard about your pie! 😀 ….. So hilarious!

    Liked by 2 people

  88. Liz says:

    Blurkel: “No surprise something like nine out of ten of the female STD cases are Tinder girls.”

    Can you support that contention, Liz? If true, I think we should be able to show the evidence. Tomorrow’s men will need to know.”

    A gyn said this a few months ago. She told me the medical community is in the process of conducting a study on this and are going to start recommending women not use Tinder.

    Liked by 2 people

  89. Liz says:

    PLEASE DISREGARD, THIS IS TO VENT. ONLY TO VENT:

    Poster at Dalrock’s just stated:
    ”LL,
    You failed to realize that Liz did not understand that betrayal is betrayal. Public betrayal is worse, but private betrayal is still very wrong coming from a wife.”

    Prior actual quotes from Liz:
    ”(snip)This is still a private betrayal, but a public betrayal would be much much worse.”

    ”I’ve already mentioned to Dalrock I think that is a private betrayal. But a private betrayal is not the same as a public one.”

    ”Yeah, I’m going to say from my perspective I’d rather my husband “share” my shortcomings in a private e mail than put it up on a billboard and announce it across the worldwide media. Perhaps I am unique in this respect, but I really doubt it.”

    ”I wouldn’t “like it” if my husband spoke ill of me in any context. But I definitely make a distinction between statements made in private (I’m sure he has said many things that might be taken out of context) and statements that are intended to be made public.
Furthermore, I’m not “defending her actions” if they were as described by Dalrock. I’ve suggested there might be another explanation. I don’t know a lot of people who would see no difference between private actions and public actions.”

    ”And, again, no Scripture to justify “private” betrayal.”
    I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t say private betrayal was a good thing then.“

    ”Is it a betrayal? Welll…I’m with you. I don’t disparage my husband online, even anonymously. But I don’t think doing so it equivalent to broadcasting it to the world in an unanonymous context.”

    ”I suspect many metaphorical barb throwers haven’t read what I’ve actually stated. My suspicions are confirmed when posters continue to claim I’ve made statements I have not (example, that I don’t think private betrayal is betrayal…having stated categorically I do, several times, I’m not sure what else can be said).”

    Liked by 2 people

  90. Liz says:

    I think a group of space aliens studying ideological myopathy and human psych would find that thread very very interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

  91. SFC Ton says:

    Self esteem is bullshit
    Want to make boys more confident? Give them challenges to over come and a couple of blonde hotties at their feet

    Liked by 1 person

  92. Liz says:

    Christmas Time Pimpin’
    First draft, Tyrone:

    “Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the
    hood, lots of gangstas were stirring and up to no good.
    The fat stacks were made sellin’ meth by the ounce,
    all so my favorite dimes wouldn’t bounce
    The children were all up at midnight drinking pop,
    watching Fred Krueger’s victims on cable yell, “Stop!”
    With a ho in her hooker boots, and I in the buff,
    I’d just bent her over to treat her ass good and rough.
    When out in the alley I heard some strange clickin’
    and sprang to window to see whose ass needed kickin’.

    Liked by 3 people

  93. Again Ton is right about the importance of good photos. At least as far as getting replies and first dates. But photos can be misleading too, some people photograph really well and then are “meh” in person while others don’t but were much more attractive irl. Photos do get one thru the filter though, same as physical appearance irl.

    I have considered being an online dating coach. I’d enjoy going shopping to help a guy pick out clothes and glasses and such to look better, help him get good photos, write a profile, give tips on how to respond, etc.

    Liked by 2 people

  94. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    I tried commenting at Dalrock’s. Now, I don’t even read the comments.

    Bloom,
    I don’t know about being an online dating coach. Even PrivateMan is suggesting that men minimize their time online.

    Liked by 1 person

  95. Yoda says:

    Piss one off this does,

    http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/11/clock-boy-ahmed-mohamed-wants-an-apology-and-15-million/

    The Texas teenager who was arrested after bringing a homemade clock to school has sent letters to the city of Irving, Texas, as well as the Irving school district, demanding $15 million and a written apology. If he doesn’t get both within 60 days, Ahmed Mohamed’s lawyer says he’ll file a lawsuit.

    Mohamed’s saga began in September, when one of the boy’s teachers suspected that the homemade clock he brought to school may have been a bomb. The school called in police, who handcuffed Mohamed and questioned him. The image of the stunned, handcuffed 14-year-old in a NASA T-shirt went viral. The boy’s father said his son was victimized because he was a Muslim.

    News reports on Mohamed’s plight vaulted him to international celebrity status. He accepted an invitation from President Obama to visit the White House and saw an outpouring of support from politicians and technology leaders, including Twitter shout-outs from Google, Mark Zuckerberg, Google co-founder Sergey Brin, Hillary Clinton, and MIT.

    The letters, published by Dallas TV station WFAA, describe in detail the events of September, from the supplies Mohamed used to build his clock to the teachers he showed it to.

    Mohamed’s lawyer says his Fourth Amendment rights were violated and that police tried to coerce a confession to a “hoax bomb” violation. Officials later “castigated” Mohamed in public, he claims, including with an appearance by Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne on the Glenn Beck show. The letter continues:

    “From the time Ahmed was escorted out of class and into the interrogation room, he was treated by ALL of the adults responsible for his safety as though he had no rights at all,” the letter states. “This was a complete breakdown in the City’s protection of Ahmed’s fundamental constitutional rights… This whole chain of events was an extraordinary rendition in miniature, in which Ahmed was treated as though he had no rights at all, despite his American citizenship.”

    The letters say Ahmed has suffered “clearly severe” damages in the aftermath, including his treatment on the Glenn Beck show, online harassment, and having his name and likeness “forever associated with arguably the most contentious and divisive socio-political issue of our time… Ahmed’s reputation in the global community is permanently scarred.”

    The letter to Irving Independent School District demands $5 million in damages, while the letter to the city of Irving demands $10 million. Both demand a written apology as well.

    “The numbers are huge, and we admit that,” Mohamed family attorney Kelly Hollingsworth told WFAA. “But the damages caused against this young man and his family are incalculable.”

    Liked by 1 person

  96. Yoda says:

    Setting oneself up to be a victim lucrative it can be.

    Liked by 1 person

  97. Yoda says:

    “But the damages caused against this young man and his family are incalculable.”

    “But the damages caused by this young man and his family are incalculable.”

    Another fix I did do

    Liked by 4 people

  98. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    He can sue. Winning the lawsuit is another matter.

    Like

  99. SFC Ton says:

    Yup Bloom. I dated a model in Hawaii and one of her more common jobs was to be arm candy for photo ops at these particularly high end hotels. She told me actors were mostly “dead” until it was time to turn “it” on vs the various athletes she would meet

    She ended up marrying a pro surfer, iirc

    Liked by 1 person

  100. Liz says:

    Yeah, one of the (military) forums I frequent someone made this astute comment:

    “The political and cultural cesspool that is now America… dripping with political correctness to excuse the inferior and incorrect… and bubbling with the promotion of mediocrity to aid the incapable… was quick to promote this turd as something exceptional.

    Like so many other manufactured issues, the rich and powerful clamored to get a piece of the attention… while certainly knowing the whole deal was a big pile of shyt… but, in the alternate reality that seems to be in favor now, the entire nation, and perhaps the world, lied to itself about this… individually calling bullshyt… but conceding that there was some sort of “consensus” on this issue that socially required one to show public sympathy and amazement.

    Hopefully the little turd doesn’t go off and learn how to make real bomb timers… though it would seem he is being groomed for that.

    Knowing how the world works and how people operate, it is likely that once this little turd and his turd family are no longer useful tools for whatever they are being used for by everyone in this sick farce, they will be cast aside… so, for their sake, it is best they don’t actually start thinking they are valuable and have something to contribute which will put food on the table and money in their pocket for years to come.

    Certainly someone, somewhere, must know that putting the guts from a clock into a pencil case is hardly worthy of squandering resources with any expectation of a payoff… especially as there are so many younger children doing so many cooler projects with much fewer resources.

    The little turd had better perform.

    …and he seems incapable of it.

    Good riddance on him and his whole family.

    Feel my nerd rage.”

    The whole thing is so terribly depressing it’s almost better not knowing.

    Liked by 1 person

  101. Liz says:

    This bit from the above quote, with a slight alteration:

    The political and cultural cesspool that is now America… dripping with political correctness to excuse the inferior and incorrect… and bubbling with the promotion of mediocrity to aid the incapable… is quick to promote a turd as something exceptional.

    The rich and powerful clamor to get a piece of the attention and manufacture faux outrage issues… always knowing the whole thing is a big pile of shit… but, in the alternate reality that seems to be in favor now, the entire nation, and perhaps the world, lies to itself about it… while individually calling bullshit they know that there is some sort of “consensus” on these issues that socially requires one to show public sympathy and amazement.

    Is so true I wish I could make it my personal signature on my froggie helmet.

    Like

  102. BuenaVista says:

    I’ve met quite a few extraordinary women online, and find it straightforward and almost too efficient now that I know how it works. Whenever I’m in dating mode I can only stay active for a few days and then I have too many correspondents. The key is to know how it works.

    I’ve been feeling phlegmatic and reclusive lately, as well as spending my afternoons blending and delivering hog feed, and so have been doing some test-marketing: Currently, some girl I met online just keeps increasing the radius she is willing to drive to get together. She’s up to 250 miles now. That’s not crazy, that’s somebody responding to a basket of attributes that cannot be discovered with a glance and a drink at the Four Seasons.

    Conversely, nearly *all* of the women I’ve met casually (airports, bars, musical events, professional gatherings) were attractive women who caught my eye, and with whom I had pleasant, superficial times for a brief time. This isn’t hard to understand: online allows one to filter for more than looks, and long before the first glass of wine has been purchased.

    Bloom, I don’t think you should advise men on how to do online dating. Your advice here and elsewhere suggests that your clients would not succeed. It’s the classic situation of a woman always offering advice as to “what women want” — which is in direct conflict with what they desire.

    I finished a Raymond Chandler novel this morning and there are the usual wiseguy cracks, and notable (for this discussion) is this one: “Women are all the same — after the first nine.” (Ton would say, “After the first 100” but not everyone is an overachiever.) Online facilitates this insight. Nota bene, it’s not just a putdown, it’s the typical Chandler universal truth wrapped in an entertaining pulp wrapper: “Women are all the same — in the important ways. But you’ll never know what they are if you get moonfaced over the first one or two who let you kiss them.”

    I never met crazy online, that I can recall. I have met a lot of duplicitous, self-centered, and delusional sorts, but I’m sure there are an equal smattering of males that can be so described. And once one knows how online works, and how the phonies signal their negative qualities, you don’t even have to meet them.

    For example, last week a woman wrote to me, “Oh, I should check my profile. I thought it said “divorced” not “separated. I’ll have to fix that.” (I had said that I would prefer not to go out with someone who is separated.) What does this mean? How does one overlook one’s marital status, unless one believes that she can just label anything how she likes in order to attempt a more efficient seduction? This isn’t crazy, this is just feminist entitlement.

    Or, another one, wrote: “Oh, let’s not talk on the phone first. I want the excitement of hearing your voice for the first time on our first date.” Errr, I thought. Two things are revealed here. One, I’ll get laid on the first date. Two, what’s wrong with her voice?

    ***

    Man I hate this and the next holiday. I’m on the wagon so I can’t practice my usual strategy of drinking for 18 hours in a dark room.

    ***

    Liz, the Dalrock guys make the mistake of thinking that because they read Scripture, and they subscribe to a red pill Christian blog, that they’re a priori virtuous and superior. And that they owe the world an oh-so-masculine gloss on the failures of others. So they virtue signal in the manner of the moron you quote.

    This is extremely, humorously depicted in Quentin Tarentino’s “Pulp Fiction”. Samuel L. Jackson, as you may recall, recites eloquently in mas macho fashion, Ezekiel 25:17 to his unwilling listeners, before he dumps a 1911 magazine into their torsos. Whenever I’m being lectured by some biddy or legalistic, concern-trolling omega male on my spiritual failures, I think of that.

    Anyone who asserts faith but denies the inherent ambiguity and doubt that is *central* to faith — as well as Scripture — is someone incapable of conversation. He’s/She’s just another dumbass trying to hammer a very inadequate set of talking points into something resembling “thought.” However, that’s impossible, isn’t it, delivering thought in the form of talking points? I’ll let you speculate how some of my remarks at Sunday school go over with the Churchians.

    In short, churches and online forums (like this one or Dalrock’s) devolve over time to mechanisms for in-group/out-group maneuvering. Divergent or dissident voices, once that occurs, are incapable of being examined on the merits. It’s far easier for people to say, “You can’t say that (to Terri, she’s my best friend!), we never say that, SHAME SHAME SHAME.” Shake it off.

    Liked by 2 people

  103. @ BVfair enough, you are likely right. I am curious to hear what it is you do that works so well? How does it work?

    Like

  104. BuenaVista says:

    Bloom, you’re a lovely person, and it’s a holiday — so let’s hold that thought.

    But I have discussed that innumerable times; Deti is right, these subjects cannot be discussed with women: They don’t listen, or if they do, they lose their shit.

    And you did, with me, last year in the matter of your fiance. You totally blew me off, and I was neither aggressive nor even concise in my suggestions. I would counsel that you to reflect on that, rather than what I might write today so we can repeat the experience.

    One thing that destroys online dating for men is the same thing that destroys red pill blogs: too many guys trying to conform to female (stated) expectations, who insert themselves to counsel men on being better men. It ruins the blogs, and it ruins the men trying to get a date. Before they know it, the men are adopting feminine-imperative attributes and then beating their heads against the wall because it doesn’t work.

    It’s just so bizarre. Doesn’t anyone notice who the iconic male figures in American cultural life are? Or that *all* of them would be run off by the administrations of any educational, military, professional, or commercial institution, because “that behavior is unacceptable?”

    Liked by 1 person

  105. @ BV point taken. If I mislead or misunderstand it truly is not intentional. You were right about the fiancé, and others. I wish I had understood and listened, guess I had to learn the hard way. It’s probably very true that despite *wanting* to get it, I really don’t get it. I am trying to get it. Hopefully I eventually succeed. If I will ever truly understand the male mind… I probably won’t. It seems as strange and foreign to me as perhaps the female mind seems to men.

    Like

  106. SFC Ton says:

    I’d be interested in comparing and contrasting methods BV

    One of the things I enjoy in life is different men find success in their different ways but you are correct, not something to discus at length with womenz, even the darlings here.

    Liked by 2 people

  107. SFC Ton says:

    also 10 women vs 100 women… could it be that the Ton is an especially slow learner? Fuck. Just today I had to own up to wild turkeys being smarter then me

    Liked by 2 people

  108. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Well,I am glad that someone found a way to make online dating work.

    Like

  109. Spawny Get says:

    “She’s up to 250 miles now”

    I cannot conceive of a woman that I’d make a routine of making 500 mile round trips to meet. Maybe that’s a UK issue, our population density being massively higher than yours, but I don’t think that it’s all that.

    Just what must be lacking in oneself to make 500 mile round trips to meet someone else a reasonable proposition? I cannot conceive of such a chasm. I would be highly suspicious about the desperation level of any woman proposing such an arrangement.

    Liked by 1 person

  110. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    OkCupid allows you to tailor your search based on distance. If I remember correctly, the increments are in miles, 25, 50, 100, 250, 500, and unlimited. What happens, as you broaden your search, the dating pool increases at what has to be the same rate that area increases. This is someone that needs that much more selection.

    Like

  111. Spawny Get says:

    Fair enough, but 250 miles would have me passing 2/3 of the UK population.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    250 miles gets me into the Chicago metro area.

    Liked by 1 person

  113. Spawny Get says:

    I did say about population density… 😉

    Like

  114. BuenaVista says:

    Spawny, the best woman I’ve ever known lived 220 miles away. And those were hard miles: I still lived in washdc, she NYC. Those are about the worst 200 miles to drive in the USA. We never discussed the inconvenience.

    In the upper Midwest, 250 miles is just a six pack and a good ballgame.

    Divide by 4, incidentally, if you’re flying.

    I’ve lived in Europe and Japan, and recognize the radical difference in distance perception.

    Liked by 1 person

  115. BuenaVista says:

    Europe is greatly advantaged, in distance game. You have rail.

    Liked by 1 person

  116. BuenaVista says:

    And the Germans have the autobahn.

    Liked by 1 person

  117. BuenaVista says:

    Someday, Ton, you’ll go murder a turkey with me. After dinner we’ll set up and transition to coyotes. Open season on them. Now, coyotes are smart.

    Liked by 2 people

  118. SFC Ton says:

    Nice BV. Sounds like a damn fine time. Are you good at calling them? Wound wood pecker works like magic on coyotes( down here that is)

    Spawny, one thing Europeans have trouble with is the size of the usa. I’ve had friends from Strongman think The Alamo is right around the bend from NC instead of 19- 20 hours away. It will take you longer to drive across NC at its widest then Germany (iirc). Also, if you are spinning plates in a mid size town, it behooves you to have them in different towns. Hard to have bitch A catch you with bitch b when they are a 2 hour drive away. I dated a girl about 200 ish miles away because she had a nice town home on a river with her own boat dock…. there are a lot of reasons why you should date chicks who live a goodly distance away.

    Liked by 1 person

  119. BuenaVista says:

    Bear, I said it before so I won’t hammer it again. Have you thought about changing your approach? Since what you’re doing isn’t working.

    At the risk of pissing off our local Army operator:

    Adapt, improvise, overcome. (He sneers at jarheads.)

    Liked by 2 people

  120. Cill says:

    BV, “too many guys trying to conform to female (stated) expectations, who insert themselves to counsel men on being better men.”
    Too true. Good point, BV. It’s sad and so fucking annoying I’d like to grab those guys and whack their milk-sop heads together. They’ve never graduated beyond the tit.

    Like

  121. Cill says:

    …mind you I haven’t graduated beyond the tit either, but for completely different reasons 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  122. SFC Ton says:

    LOL you know I’ve always been a little embarrassed with terms like operator. I am inordinately proud of what I achieved but at the end of the day I was grunt or a sniper. Better trained then most but still a grunt.

    Like

  123. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Buena Vista,
    For now, I think that I will kick my wounds and heal up.
    About the Heartbreak Ridge reference, the Marines weren’t there. At the beginning of the movie, it was explained that both Sargeants went to the Marines.
    When the movie was released, there was controversey.

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  124. SFC Ton says:

    Yup the Ranger Regiment didn’t the PR and marines are attention whores to rival any woman

    Like

  125. BuenaVista says:

    I made no ‘heartbreak ridge’ movie reference.

    Like

  126. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Perhaps The Unforgiven reference made me think of Clint Eastwood movies.

    Like

  127. Liz says:

    “The narrative is men are wild horses, untamed mustangs etc and women have to trick you into the corral. Stating you want an LTR says you are already in the corral…. yea beta”

    I mentioned this thread to Mike last night and asked if he thought stating you want an LTR is a bad thing to do. He mentioned (not that it hasn’t been mentioned many times) that women are attracted to the idea that a guy has choices. It signals they’re valuable (again, we’ve said this before). But he gave me an example that was interesting.

    He told me to imagine if I were ambivalent about liking a guy and it could go either way…and then I go to a party and see that guy with another woman who is obviously “into him” (and presumably good looking). He suggested that would probably raise my interest and his attractiveness in my estimation…from “maybe” to “yes, he’s attractive”. I had to admit he was right. He suggested that for men it’s kind of the opposite. At least it is for him.
    Maybe everyone’s mileage varies there though.

    I know when we started dating, it was 180 out change. All of his sisters skanky stripper friends suddenly took a huge interest.
    Power will also do that. A friend of ours just got a command job and he says it’s like he became twice as handsome, overnight.

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