On a previous thread, Spawny stated;
It’s important to reach out to younger men so that they are encouraged to Go Their Own Way looking for happiness.
This has never been truer than in today’s world, where entire aspects of our culture are literally stacked against men. Some somber facts pointing to this include the rate of divorces started by women (approx 70%), the lack of DV shelters for men (there are only a literal handful in the US as of today’s date), the amount of men who are in debtor’s prison due to back child support (2-3% of the total incarcerated population), and of course the problems present in the “Yes Means Yes” laws (restrictions placed on sex but without any way to prove one had followed them). Couple this with the new petition that would allow a supposed rape victim to legally accuse the supposed attacker and subject them to the judicial system without needing to give a police report, and it’s evident that now is a dangerous time to be male.
MGTOW is a lifestyle choice that can help to alleviate these potential issues, especially if taken to its more “extreme” forms including avoiding any cohabitation with a woman, never dating, remaining celibate, and of course, never marrying. Obviously each man should decide based on his own needs and desires which activities are worth keeping in his life. MGTOW is truly about going your own way.
Unfortunately it can be a difficult pill to swallow, even though it would seem to offer the most happiness. Like a bird that has lived in a cage so long that it cannot comprehend the world outside the now open door, many young men…who’ve never been through the hell of a terrible divorce, been falsely accused of rape/harassment/misogyny, or stayed in a depressing marriage…have no idea that such freedom is a good thing. It is not easy, but has been my goal for the past 4 years to help the young men I know understand this, so they may make informed decisions.
The most difficult part is getting said men to understand that their personal happiness does not depend on having a woman in it. These are single guys under 35, with decent to well paying jobs, their own cars, nice apartments or condos, and close knit circles of mostly male friends. They are free to do nearly anything they want, both with their time and money. And yet, they are depressed or frustrated all because they have no woman in their lives. They have been led to believe that if they are a virgin past age 17, or not engaged by age 30, or even just have regular difficulties in the dating world, they are “losers”.
Quite tellingly, it is the younger men (19 – early 20s) who are easier to reach. The older the man, the more set in his gynocentric ways he tends to be. Could this be due to the fact that the younger men are on the front lines more often, given the double whammy of dating and still being surrounded by the follies of our educational system? I think so.
Regardless, I tell them the same thing:
1. Women are not a requirement for happiness in one’s life.
2. Being single is not the mark of a “loser” or failure, especially when it is done by your own conscious choice of no longer playing games.
3. If a woman truly wants to be your friend, she will act as one by being there for you in times of trouble, getting you gifts occasionally, answering your phone calls/texts promptly, sharing in the enjoyment of your mutual hobbies, and paying her own way 99% of the time. Be careful to not allow yourself to be used by anyone who turns out to be a “fair weather friend”.
4. Singlehood means freedom, and your thought processes can be changed to reflect this fact. Instead of being upset that a girl stood you up for a date, remind yourself that she’s missing out on you, and always have a backup plan of something interesting to do in the same neighborhood. Rather than getting frustrated by advertisements that stress the point of men “needing” to spend money on a woman to prove his financial worth, take comfort in the fact that your money is still yours to do with as you please, be it purchasing an ATV, going to a paintball field for a weekend, or putting it in accounts to accumulate interest.
5. If needed, create a daily mantra that helps to remind you of your inherent worth, something that can help combat the claims of “toxic masculinity” and “Schrodinger’s rapist” (among others) that you’re subjected to. Reaffirm that you are a man, that this is not a bad thing, that you are only responsible for your actions and refuse to be the whipping boy of every male who ever lived. Know that you have worth as a person, which transcends that bought on by status markers.
There are many other items that are typically on my list of masculine affirmations, but let’s hear from our commenters…
What further help can we lend our men? How have you aided in letting them know MGTOW is an option? For those with young men in their lives, what trials do you see or hear about them undergoing?