Create Tingles? Get a Pass


Larry Miller is a writer and actor.  He famously voiced the pointy haired boss in the short lived Dilbert TV series.  Here is an excerpt from a column he wrote a decade ago.

The Divine Mrs. Miller’s brother-in-law is Argentine, and we were over at their house for dinner recently. My wife and her sister were gabbing about a dress in a magazine, and Roberto leaned over to me with his manly accent, and his Douglas Fairbanks Jr. smile and said, “Ah, you know, Laddy, what does it matter? The dress, she is off in a minute anyway, eh?”

Whoa. Not exactly something you’d expect from, say, Alan Alda. I turned to see if my wife was staring daggers at him, but instead she and her sister were . . . laughing! Tittering behind their hands! My wife! The two of them giggling like schoolgirls performing “Three Pretty Maids Are We.”

I was about to take her hand gently and say, “Have you lost your mind?” When Roberto, unsure that his first foray had been sufficient, added, “And then, after you finish, on the way out, you step on the dress, eh? Try some of this sauterne, Laddy. It’s from the pampas.”

“Step on the dress.” Hmm. Quite an image, don’t you think, and not exactly one from the “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar” school of thought. Their reaction this time? Howls. Roars. A real knee-slapper. “Step on the dress! Oh, Roberto . . .”

After a minute I glanced sideways at The Divine Mrs. Miller, who by now had recovered enough of her senses to begin shyly dabbing her maidenly tears of mirth away; and I seriously considered the possibility that in the last half-hour, a long-since disbanded black operations group from the fifties had crept into the living room and slipped a psychotropic drug into her wine, since the woman next to me laughing was clearly someone I had never met. So much to consider.

INSTEAD, I took my sauterne out onto the terrace, gazed at the sun setting over the Pacific, and tried to imagine a gaucho riding up to his cabin on the pampas and having his Incan wife come running out saying, “Honey, guess what? I got a new dishwasher.”

On the ride home, with the kids sugar-drugged into staring out the windows like Robert De Niro in Awakenings, I said to my wife, “So, how long do I go to husband-prison for if I ever make a crack like that?”

And she said, “Oh, you know the Argentines.”

And I said, “No, I don’t know the Argentines. Why do they get a pass on it? Is it the accent? The tradition of flirting with every woman? If I flirt with a woman, she’s likely to think, “What an idiot,” or, “God, he’s bald,” but if Roberto does it, everyone just giggles and says, ‘Oh, you know the Argentines.'”

I had a chance to think about this a lot more, since my wife decided to just look out the window herself and not respond.

THERE ARE A FEW GROUPS that can get away with murder on these things, and it’s not just the Argentines. I think French and Italian men pretty much get a pass on Planet Earth for anything they say to women.

Notice her hamster spinning.  She sees the hypocrisy of her behavior, but can’t readily acknowledge it. She got a burst of tingles; and she liked it.

Larry Miller suggests,”THERE ARE A FEW GROUPS that can get away with murder on these things”.  Basically it would be men that can generate tingles.  Tingles Uber Alles.

Talk among yourselves.

Advertisements
Posted in FarmBoy, Fun, Lies
136 comments on “Create Tingles? Get a Pass
  1. Farm Boy says:

    Here is Larry Miller in action. He is the voice of the “pointy-haired boss”

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Sumo says:

    And this is what he looks like:

    Not exactly a visage that inspires tingles.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yoda says:

    Better 10 years ago looked be did

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Spawny Get says:

    My favourite was along the lines of

    Forget measure twice, cut once. I prefer measure once, cut twice. It sounds proactive.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Spawny Get says:

    Aww man! Trigger warning on Juliette Butterface Lewis. Just about to turn out the light and you slam my eyeballs with that. What were you thinking?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sumo says:

    Um….that I’m an evil prick….?

    Liked by 4 people

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I can see men who pique interest getting a social pass but, in situations that are resolved in criminal court, the sentences are just as harsh.
    It kind of sucks being a beta. Heck, even your imagination is fenced in.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic, political. It must take a certain kind of boldness to come back to yown after this. She should have retired to obscurity then.

    http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2015/10/dont-forget-this-fact-about-hillary.html

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Tarnished says:

    Two possibilities:

    1. That he is older, not a “hunk”, and/or married already…thus is safe to “flirt” with. I can honestly say that I’ve laughed at flirtatious comments from men 30-40 years older than me at various times in my life. Not because anything they said was particularly witty…but to be polite and humor them.

    2. That the setting (a pleasant dinner with friends/acquaintances) made his comments “safe” to laugh at, because it was understood by all involved that nothing was serious. But given the same comments said by a random stranger at a bar could (but may not) be seen as poor taste. After all, I’d let Cill or Spawny get away with saying things that I’d give someone else a hard look for saying. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Yoda says:

    Um….that I’m an evil prick….?

    Like Darth Maul you would be

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Tarnished says:

    To flip the coin a bit, I would not be like the wife in this story either. I honestly find it entertaining to hang back a bit and watch my lover flirt with other women. It’s fun to see him “work”, and also rather interesting since I’m not good at flirtatious behavior whatsoever.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Yoda says:

    The “Latin Passion” — Key it is?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sumo says:

    Like Darth Maul you would be

    Well, I admit to feeling a certain kinship with the man. Or the Zabrak, as it were.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Yoda says:

    That the setting (a pleasant dinner with friends/acquaintances) made his comments “safe” to laugh at, because it was understood by all involved that nothing was serious.

    But Larry Miller if said the comments he did,
    then punished he would be.
    Because non Latin he is?
    Becauae balding he would be?

    Like

  15. Tarnished says:

    The “Latin Passion” — Key it is?

    Meh? I’m not really all that attracted to Latin folk over others. At least, not unless they somehow have a Bristol accent…Then all bets are off, I’m afraid. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  16. JDG says:

    Whoa. Not exactly something you’d expect from, say, Alan Alda. I turned to see if my wife was staring daggers at him, but instead she and her sister were . . . laughing!

    This is a snapshot into the life of a woman’s slave. He turned to see how the women responded because some guy stepped outside of PC boundaries, something he wouldn’t dare to do.

    When I was just a little guy, any one of the men in my family would have called the Argentine out himself IF he though the the guy was out of line (not likely though considering it was the kind of comment they would have laughed at).

    NONE of the men would have looked at their wives to see what was what. What the women thought would have been incidental unless a HUGE seen was made. Then white knighting would probably have ensued, but it would at least have been over women that still had respect for their husbands (and made sammiches).

    Although I wouldn’t use the dress remark for reason’s of manners and morals, I would have no problem what so ever explaining to them God’s design for marriage included wife’s submitting to her husbands and not give a rat’s behind what their eyeball daggers where up to (nothing gets a fembot in an uproar like one of the “S” words).

    I’ve been over looked for invitations and still get looks from feminist minded wives whom I have mentioned the “S” words to, but so what? The truth is more important. If their going to call themselves Christians, they should be willing to follow Christian teachings rather then deny what is plainly written.

    TL;DR – While it’s true that regular Joe’s don’t get passes, some of us could care less. In line with the words of another South American (Colombian I think), “We don’t need your stinking passes”.

    But I will take a sammich!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Yoda says:

    Perhaps if frame you do have,
    then all forgiven it is.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “Hi, Big Red!”
    “Hi, Bear!”
    “Made any sandwiches , lately?”
    “Grrr!”

    Liked by 2 people

  19. SFC Ton says:

    Frame is everything
    Frame is everything when dealing with bitches
    Frame is everything when dealing with the guy who signs your paycheck
    Frame is everything when dealing with your subordinates
    Slick Willie became POTUS because of frame
    Trump leads in th polls because of frame
    The guy outselling all the other cats on the used car lot is winning be of frame

    People are programmed to respond to frame

    Frame is damn near everything.

    Liked by 5 people

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    There is also the point brought forward from Blurke’s post. If the wife in the story were getting what she wanted,m she wouldn’t be acting this way. This story is one of implicit contempt.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. JDG says:

    “Grrr!”

    Question: How many swear words would be uttered during the time it took big red to make a sammich?

    Liked by 2 people

  22. JDG says:

    Another question: What kind of frame would it take to get Big Red to stop yapping?

    Liked by 5 people

  23. Tarnished says:

    But Larry Miller if said the comments he did,
    then punished he would be.
    Because non Latin he is?
    Becauae balding he would be?

    No idea. I laugh at things that guys or gals say that aren’t funny or are awkwardly phrased so that they aren’t hurt too badly. Well, and I have a skewed sense of humor, so a lot of goofy shit is funny to me but not other people.
    Thus, Larry would be highly likely to get a chuckle or two out of me.

    Can’t speak for anyone else, unfortunately.

    Like

  24. JDG says:

    Perhaps if frame you do have,
    then all forgiven it is.

    If you’re attractive AND have frame, nothing “wrong” was done in the 1st place. Still “don’t need no stinking passes” though. She can stare daggers all the day long as long as she makes that sammich.

    Like

  25. Cill says:

    Tarn I make similar comments to women IRL and they do laugh, usually touching me on the arm at the same time XD

    Liked by 2 people

  26. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “How many curse words could be said while making a sandwich?”
    I don’t tknow but, if I saw Big Red making a sandwich and sing “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic”, I think calling 911 would be a good idea.
    Now, to get her to volunteer to do that would take FRAME.

    Liked by 3 people

  27. Sumo says:

    Tarn I make similar comments to women IRL and they do laugh, usually touching me on the arm at the same time.

    Ditto.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Tarnished says:

    Cill,

    Ah, then that’s flirting, right? Because of the arm touching? That’s what PUAs say, at least. “Kino” I think they call it. Sounds like those women are into you…hopefully they are not PPPs!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Tarnished says:

    Same for Sumo the Great, obviously. Though there probably aren’t any PPPs in Canada.

    Like

  30. Tarnished says:

    Not that it would only be PPPs doing that. Surely regular women do as well. Gods damn it…I think I’m too tired for typing.

    Like

  31. Cill says:

    “hopefully they are not PPPs”

    Hell no! I’d rather make them cry.

    Like

  32. I would agree, it’s about frame. The argentine/Italian/French say what they say without guilt or apology. And their “out group” accent is already a tingles generator so they are ahead right there. Women wll give them a pass simply bc they expect men from other cultures to be not feminist aware. And — sexy accent!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Sumo says:

    Tarn, it’s “The Mighty Sumo”. Saying “Sumo the Great” is just pretentious.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Btw New Zealand and English and possibly Canadian and Southern accents (depending, they are less exotic from an American pov) would have a similar effect, not that we know anybody like that but…. You know, if we did…

    Liked by 2 people

  35. But I am only saying that bc I am brainwashed, naturally. Bc the red pill is a cult and etc. 😏

    Liked by 3 people

  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It’s a random thought but, do women naturally find cads more charming?

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Cill says:

    The parts that struck me most are those that describe his obvious timidity towards his wife e.g.
    “I turned to see if my wife was staring daggers at him, but instead she and her sister were . . . laughing! Tittering behind their hands! My wife!”
    “I seriously considered the possibility that in the last half-hour, a long-since disbanded black operations group from the fifties had crept into the living room and slipped a psychotropic drug into her wine, since the woman next to me laughing was clearly someone I had never met.”

    If she really is that bad, how could he allow a relationship with her to get off the ground?

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Sumo says:

    Btw New Zealand and English and possibly Canadian and Southern accents (depending, they are less exotic from an American pov) would have a similar effect, not that we know anybody like that but…. You know, if we did…

    Liked by 3 people

  39. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    In response to your question, I don’t think that the contempt comes out until the ring goes on. Behavior is better and, more guarded, in the courtship phase.
    I tam afraid that I am turning cynical.

    Liked by 3 people

  40. Cill says:

    There are a number of Kiwi accents. Southern Kiwi accent:

    If you let the video continue into the next one, I know the brewery with the copper vat very well.

    Liked by 3 people

  41. Cill says:

    Fuzzy he should test her by criticizing feminism. If she reacts negatively, he should end it right there. Otherwise he should test her with outrageous comments of his own. One way or ‘tother, he should know what she’s really like before he goes so far as to marry her.

    Liked by 3 people

  42. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    One can test. It’s just that when in the courtship phase, all the parties are putting their best forward. Once committed, they relax.
    I can just see testing Molly and getting a bi head butt from the Furby for it. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  43. molly says:

    Fuzzie HEEE-OWWWW! Butt! kaa-thud!
    heh heh
    Hah I bring food instead:
    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯 🙄
    LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Cill says:

    If you test molly she will laugh. Guaranteed.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly!
    Thank you for burritos! 🌯 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄
    Seeing you reminds me that I have been too sad recently.
    Any way, you don’t need to be tested.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Spawny Get says:

    “After all, I’d let Cill or Spawny get away with saying things that I’d give someone else a hard look for saying. ;)”

    No fair! I enjoy hard looks in response to my jokes. They’re hilarious. I might (might) ‘apologise’ but I’d be laughing as I did it.

    One experience springs to mind. I patted a (genuine friend) strongish, independentish teacher on the head and said, “There, there little lady” over some comment that she’d made in an animated but friendly conversation in the group. You could practically see the sparks and steam coming out her ears. I creased up with laughter and said, “I’m really glad that you know I was joking”. Peace ensued once she’d calmed down. She knew that I genuinely liked her as a person (wife of a dive buddy), but I touched something very deep in her hindbrain, i think.

    Liked by 3 people

  47. Cill says:

    “She knew that I genuinely liked her as a person”.

    I do that too, pull their legs something dreadful. Mischief is a great way of showing affection.

    Liked by 3 people

  48. SFC Ton says:

    Frame is attractive all on its own

    I’m here to tell y’all a Southern drawl is an effective panty dropper. Even down here in the South. Getting rarer then hens teeth.

    There the Ton is, sitting at a bar in Dubai, still coated in red moon dust from Afghanistan, 3 ish days from my last shower, reeking of cigar smoke, bourbon and debauchery when this dude serves me a class of bourbon in the gayest fucking glass you can imagine. Some goblet thing all etched and craved like a goddamn pineapple. I look at the fucker, tell him the glass couldn’t be any gayer if it was pink with pink fucking dildos on it and….. this blonde bimbo from NYC starts to laughing…. we chit chat she says something smart mouthed to me, I tell her to “behave herself ’cause normally I don’t axe murder girls until the third date, being an old fashion sort of man”

    Fast forward some and she is nekkied with a belly full of Ton baby batter,trying to impress me with her degree and what not.

    One of the things betas get all wrong is frame. They’ll try to be a alpha by being surly, or to serious or pretentious instead of James Bond smooth or some such silly nonsense. The actor that story is about has no frame. He got pissy. Punching that Argentina dude in the mouth, or slapping his woman on the ass after she started laughing would have been a much more effective maneuver, but instead he elected to get buttsore over it like a little bitch,further drying out all the vaginas in a 3 click radius

    Frame ain’t just for crushing ass either. Over the long haul, strong masculine frame gets you ahead in all human interactions

    Liked by 3 people

  49. Cill says:

    There’s one good woman who I tease a lot. It’s not because she’s sexy; it’s because she’s a worthwhile person. Let’s call her Jen.

    I once found out her height, which is 5 feet 5 1/2 inches. In a social setting, I announced “Jen is 5 feet 5”.

    Her voice came from the kitchen “And a half!”

    I took to calling her “the Halfling” for that reason, which of course quickly became “the Hobbit”. She drove a Honda Civic Shuttle car, which I dubbed “the Shire Shuttle” or “the Hobbiton Express”. I would tease her by saying “All seats please on the Hobbiton express.”

    When we meet she hugs me and I lift her up and ask her if she remembered to trim her hairy feet (as in hobbit feet). She expects this and hugs me with glee. We like each other a lot. She also really likes physical contact with me. It’s obvious.

    Liked by 4 people

  50. SFC Ton says:

    Cill’s example is excellent
    Anything that makes them feel child like is pure gold, same for playfully demonstrating the disparity in strength and size

    Liked by 2 people

  51. Cill says:

    Don’t treat a woman the way you’d treat a man, is what I’m trying to say. If I treated a man that way ^^^ it would be an act of deep disrespect.

    Liked by 2 people

  52. Tarnished says:

    If I treated a man that way ^^^ it would be an act of deep disrespect.

    Which part? The nicknames, the picking them up, or the mentions of height/size discrepancy? And is this a diehard rule for the friends you keep, or are there exceptions?

    Like

  53. Tarnished says:

    No fair! I enjoy hard looks in response to my jokes. They’re hilarious. I might (might) ‘apologise’ but I’d be laughing as I did it.

    I’ll try to remember that for if we meet irl. 😛 For the record, I don’t mind jokes like that so long as the person handing ’em out can also take it. It’s always an awkward situation where a guy is throwing out all these zingers and expecting applause/laughter from the group for them…but then gets steamed or sullen when a single joke is directed towards them. My view? If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and stop pretending you’re a chef in the first place!

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Tarnished says:

    Re: my 10:48 question

    I’m asking because I can’t think of a single thing in your example that would be seen as “disrespectful” by the circles I am a part of. My (male) friends have all been known to pick each other up, pat each other on the head, make comments about height, etc. And everyone laughs along with it and isn’t offended at all.

    Like

  55. SFC Ton says:

    Tarn, how masculine are your male friends? Based on your scant descriptions, not very and their is a world of difference

    Like

  56. Yoda says:

    Land of Spawny doomed it is,

    Equalities minister Nicky Morgan has said the Government is ‘open’ to discussing a change where trans people could legally self-define their genders

    The Government has said it is “open” to allow transgender people to self-define their legal gender.

    At the moment, if a trans person wants to legally change their gender in the UK they have to apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate which costs £140, requires medical treatment and can take several years.

    It only allows people to change their gender from male to female or female to male meaning there is no option for people to declare themselves as non-binary.

    But women and equalities minister Nicky Morgan said she was “interested” in following Ireland which recently introduced a simple two-page online form that allows trans people to self-define their gender without seeing a doctor or requiring medical treatment.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-politics/11962382/You-could-soon-be-allowed-legally-to-choose-your-own-gender-in-Britain.html

    Like

  57. Yoda says:

    Define my gender as cis-boom-bah I do.

    Liked by 3 people

  58. Yoda says:

    Spawny changed genders he has.
    Now of “Patriarch” gender he is.

    Liked by 4 people

  59. Yoda says:

    Wonder if get to choose their own personal pronoun they do?

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Yoda says:

    Wonder if animal rights groups will lobby for such rights I do.

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Yoda says:

    Perhaps rename post to “Frame Uber Alles” one should

    Like

  62. Tarnished says:

    Tarn, how masculine are your male friends?

    What is your definition of masculinity?

    Like

  63. Tarnished says:

    At the moment, if a trans person wants to legally change their gender in the UK they have to apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate which costs £140, requires medical treatment and can take several years.

    I think this is a good thing. The process means that it can’t be done on a whim, or due to a fad. It is something that the applicant has to actively want and have the patience to see it through.

    Like

  64. Yoda says:

    People apparently care not.
    Or perhaps media does care not.

    Many of us have previously written on the shockingly poor educational attainment of poor white boys, yet there has been no governmental enquiry nor emergency think-tank set up. Instead, high-profile pushes for more girls in STEM subjects attract ticker-tape fanfares.

    Most tragically of all, absolutely nothing is being done about any of this – yet when men do speak up about it, we are ridiculed, ignored or even called misogynists, simply for having the temerity to care about men dying or boys failing

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/11966292/Why-does-no-one-care-when-boys-fail-at-school-and-middle-aged-men-kill-themselves.html

    Liked by 2 people

  65. Off topic but has anyone here ever had a rabbit for a pet? My oldest is wanting one in the worst way. Do they just look cuddly or are they cuddly? Can they be litter box trained? This is a possible Christmas gift

    Like

  66. Sumo says:

    My sister had rabbits when we were kids. Apparently (I literally just found this out about a month ago), I was allergic, so I wasn’t allowed to play with them.

    Anyhow, I vaguely remember that they were ornery little bastards; SumoSis was always nursing bites.

    Liked by 3 people

  67. Tarnished says:

    I’ve had 5 pet rabbits. They can indeed be litter trained, it’s actually very easy since rabbits naturally make “bathrooms” in their warrens and have been seen changing their own hay when it gets too dirty. Also, they give themselves tongue baths much like cats do, and only need a bath about 3-4 times a year (same temperature water you’d use for a human baby, and make sure to use tear-free shampoo/small animal shampoo).

    I never recommend rabbits or guinea pigs for kids under 13, but after that age children should be responsible enough to give the care and affection needed. If you are looking for a very cuddly breed, I’ve found that Lops tend to be best. The 2 I had would let themselves be held on their backs so you could scritch their bellies, but the dwarf rabbit and 2 regular dutchmarks hated it.

    If you are concerned about spraying, I think a female would be preferable, especially as an indoor pet. They require rabbit pellets, a mixture of timothy/meadow hay and alfalfa hay (not too much alfalfa since it’s high in protein), and various fresh fruits and veggies. No Iceberg Lettuce! Ever!

    Liked by 2 people

  68. BuenaVista says:

    Being RP-brainwashed I lately blurt out things regularly that would have gotten me sued in my prior life. I simply didn’t say off-color things publicly with women around — at work or elsewhere, and I was one walking-talking door-opening good-listening try-harder safe space for the distaff side.

    On a date the other day (raining, so no fieldwork) I was parked discreetly in the woods besides a shallow pond, with a woman I know well, but rarely see. Another car drives up and out hopes a fattie with an outstanding “I am such a dyke” haircut, and her dog.

    My friend and I are just sitting in the truck talking, fully clothed, separated by a big console, with a six pack.

    The fattie decides to pay us a visit, being “concerned.” She plods over to my window and I look at her.

    “Is everything okay here?” she says.

    “I beg your pardon?” I say. (This is how I used to say, “What the fuck?”, and old habits die hard.) My friend looks at Fattie impassively.

    “Is everything okay here?” Fattie says again. “You’re parked in a funny way –”

    “I’m parked so I can see who drives in here.”

    “Well you’re parked in a funny way and you’re all alone out here and I just wanted to make sure — ” she now looks at my friend — “make sure that you’re okay.”

    My friend starts in, realizing that this is just the sisterhood protecting her from inveterate rapists and degenerates like me.

    “It’s fine, we’re just –”

    And I blurt out.

    “No, actually, things are not okay.”

    “What do you mean!” Fattie’s eyes bulge. Finally, she’s going to save a woman from a serial rapist!

    “I mean I was just about to get one of her epic blowjobs and now you’ve just killed the buzz.”

    My friend spit out her beer and I smiled, the dyke walked back to her Taurus like a 350 pound defensive lineman in the 4th quarter, and later, a good time was had by all.

    I blame Ton. I’ve never spoken to a strange woman — such as she was, I guess, a woman — in that fashion in my life.

    Liked by 5 people

  69. Yoda says:

    Changed frame on the fly BV did.
    Expect this she did not.

    Liked by 3 people

  70. Yoda says:

    Normally is not “probable cause” required before investigating a man and woman in a pickup truck passively sitting?

    Like

  71. Spawny Get says:

    “Another question: What kind of frame would it take to get Big Red to stop yapping?”

    a few sheets of OSB 8’x4′ sandwiching some sound proofing material, framed with 4″x2″. And a lot of nails. A lot of nails

    Basically storm board her big fat gob up

    Liked by 2 people

  72. BuenaVista says:

    Ha-ha, Yoda. We know that the world is populated with busybodies, and the culture celebrates the notion that men must be proven innocent.

    It does get a little absurd, though, when the white knight turns out to be a 250 pound lesbian.

    In other amazing news, Busch Signature Copper lager is actually pretty good beer. Until now I’ve been in the Society to Prevent Busch.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Cill says:

    Pet rabbits escape and breed with each other in the wild. At times of drought there are rabbit population explosions. They’re like a plague of locusts, turning good land into eroded desert pock-marked with holes.

    The government tries to contain them with 1080 poison. The rabbits die in their millions but not as quickly as they breed. In 1997 the govt was developing a disease to inflict on the rabbits. The farmers were so desperate, they broke into the laboratory and released the haemorrhagic virus before it was ready. There was a helluva fuss about it.

    The disease temporarily devastated rabbit populations, BUT now the rabbits are back, taking over once more. Unless a method of eradicating them completely can be found, they will turn this beautiful country into an ugly unusable mess. There *is* only one way to fix the problem and that’s to eradicate every single rabbit in NZ – wild rabbits, pet rabbits, the lot.

    Deer and pigs do a lot of damage too, but hunting keeps their populations from exploding.

    Human beings are at war with rabbits down under. It’s a case of us or them. Right now, the rabbits look likely to win. I don’t know how much of a pest they are in America, but my advice would be: don’t have rabbits as pets.

    Liked by 2 people

  74. Spawny Get says:

    “can also take it”

    yeah, though I seldom meet someone who can play.

    The best laugh I can ever remember having was as this guy and I walked into the bar following a very hard session of squash. He was casually saying that his parents had moved during the last term…took him ages to find them (all delivered in casual monotone). I laughed my frigging arse off. Perfect delivery.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Spawny Get says:

    “Busch anything” and ” is actually pretty good beer” in the same sentence?

    Never thought that day would dawn.

    I’ve happily drunk some American beers. I’m commenting on Busch.

    Liked by 1 person

  76. Spawny Get says:

    Rabbits were introduced into Britain from Spain by the Romans (iirc).

    I’ve shown a few of them the light over recent years. Got a few in my freezer. Can’t say I love breaking the neck (mercy move) or gutting them.

    Liked by 1 person

  77. Yoda says:

    Tried to call you to the carpet she did.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. Tarnished says:

    Cill,

    We have wild rabbits and hares in the US, but enough foxes, coyotes, and hunters that it’s not an issue here. Each if my rabbits lived to about 8 years ot so, but never got out of their hutches to cause trouble or get eaten. Methinks you need some more carnivores to help control the population…but then of course that’d just screw up your ecosystem more.

    It also doesn’t help that rabbits can be impregnated then delay birthing the babies til the environment is preferable…

    Like

  79. Tarnished says:

    yeah, though I seldom meet someone who can play.

    Bet I could take you. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  80. Cill says:

    Tarn at 10:48 am and 11:10 am

    “My (male) friends have all been known to pick each other up, pat each other on the head, make comments about height, etc. And everyone laughs along with it and isn’t offended at all.”
    They would never do any of it, though, with the type of play I was talking about between myself and “Jen”. You’re talking about men horsing around with each other. I’m talking about a type of interaction that can’t take place between men:

    Jen hugs me with delight when we meet up. [Other men do not hug me with soft-bodied womanly delight]

    I lift her up [a bloke does not lift another bloke up after being hugged with soft-bodied womanly delight]

    So, 2 stages before we get to the next part (bloke A asking bloke B if he remembered to trim his hairy feet) it already ain’t going to happen.

    The last stage (Jen hugging me with soft-bodied womanly glee)… Nope. This is not going to happen between men. There has been no hug of soft-bodied womanly glee after bloke A asked bloke B if he’d remembered to trim his hairy feet after bloke A lifted bloke B after a soft-bodied womanly huggy greeting of bloke A by bloke B…

    Also Tarn, you mentioned “pat each other on the head”. You are being mischievous now. We all know what happens when I get patted on the head…
    . XD

    Liked by 3 people

  81. Spawny Get says:

    “Bet I could take you. 😉 ”

    I shall alert the local pub that we’ll be laying on the entertainment…should you ever rock up, that is. Go ahead…make my millenium. You could phone first, like. probably the cheaper option. Course we’d have to stop Cill barging in. And Fuzzie. Sumo? Liz, Bloom, the list is endless long well, there’s a list.

    Or we could do a Spawny’s Space google hangout…no need for cameras. Anyone up for it (not now! some time soon)

    Liked by 1 person

  82. Spawny Get says:

    “We all know what happens when I get patted on the head…”

    A hurricane blizzard of dandruff sufficient to blanket Oz?

    Liked by 2 people

  83. I am not a big fan of the pet rabbit idea myself. Although agreed, the lop eared are cute. For one I know the cat has caught a wild rabbit before, so I am thinking that could be a problem. Plus I am not convinced she wouldn’t lose interest in a short time and then I’d be doing the care and cleaning up. Maybe a hamster is a better place to start… (We’d still need to watch the cat.)

    Liked by 2 people

  84. Tarnished says:

    We won’t have to stop Cill barging in…his forehead meeting the doorway will do the job. He is a cillsquatch, remember.

    Liked by 2 people

  85. Tarnished says:

    You sure your local hangout could handle so many Americans at once? 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Tarnished says:

    Cill,

    There is certainly a distinct lack of “soft bodied womanly delight” in any of our interactions. 😀
    I could be wrong, but it’s likely because only I have such a body and do not use it that way regardless.

    The last time one of the guys (6’5″, 385 lbs, very rotund) picked me up, and walked around with me, I just waited till he stopped and with a raised eyebrow asked if he was done showing off his “amazing strength”. He said “Nope”, put me down, then picked up one of our other friends (6’1″, 250 lbs) who promptly said “Woot!” and threw his arms up like a 10 year old.

    It’s why I don’t care that they are kinda touchy and goofy with me, because they act that way with each other as well. It’s a good thing, to belong.

    Like

  87. Tarnished says:

    We *do* have a guy that we make fun of for having hairy feet, and call him Bilbo, though…

    Like

  88. Tarnished says:

    How old are your younglings, Bloom?

    Like

  89. SFC Ton says:

    That you have to ask Tarn, answers the question. As in not at all

    Like

  90. Spawny Get says:

    hairy feet? so what?

    I shaved my willy back in the day, so that the highly adhesive pee valve condom for my diving dry suit didn’t give me a Brazilian when I came to remove it. Yes, yes…you can happily pee in a wetsuit. If you want to in a semi-dry, do it at the beginning of the dive. A dry-suit? clearly a stoopid idea. You attach your best mate to a pipe that exits the suit with a non-return valve using a catheter condom..

    Could be worse though. Women in such conditions have to resort to nappies.
    et Voila! Genuine male privilege.

    Liked by 1 person

  91. SFC Ton says:

    I happily accept such blame BV.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. SFC Ton says:

    Raised rabbits as a kid. Man I love eating those things

    Like

  93. Tarnished says:

    Lol. I just wanted to see what you consider to be masculine. Does it have to do with frame? Body type? How much they work out? What jobs they have? Fat vs muscle percentage? Age? Whether they’re married, single, have an N of 25 or 1? If they have chest hair?

    Do you consider a 115 lb, 22 year old, single, male daycare worker who still lives at home with his parents to be just as masculine as a 225 lb, 41 year old male HS teacher, married with 4 kids, homeowner? Or no, because whatever reasons?

    Like

  94. Spawny Get says:

    Personally, I’m not big on hugging blokes. Spent three years in Southern France. Number of kiss on each cheek greeting from men (normal office good morning between men)? ZERO. JUST NO.

    Like

  95. Spawny Get says:

    But just to show how much of a New Man I am. Even believing that you’re male minded, I’d be pretty likely to hug you. Or try to. Right up to you pulling a knife on me.

    Liked by 1 person

  96. Actually looks like gerbils might be even better, they go to the bathroom much less than hamsters so less smell and less frequent cage cleanings, are less likely to bite, are alert and awake during the day, and they are social so you can have several in a cage together where hamsters will often fight. More research needed…

    Liked by 1 person

  97. Oldest 6th grade, youngest kindergarten next year.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Spawny Get says:

    Just watching a British film about dinosaurs in the modern day Peruvian jungle. Could happen…clearly.

    Thing is that the ‘jungle’ looks pretty much like…well…like England.

    Then they jump in the 4x4s with foreign plates…with the steering wheel on the right. Which is normally right, but not in retarded parts of the world. Cill will confirm.

    Liked by 1 person

  99. BuenaVista says:

    Ya, I’d follow any 115 lb babysitter into any inferno.

    Liked by 1 person

  100. Spawny Get says:

    Don’t care what they weigh, don’t care what they do*

    *apart from this, clearly

    Liked by 1 person

  101. SFC Ton says:

    I had a right hand drive MG Midget
    Made it awkward to play with my girls tits as I drove

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Tarnished says:

    Bloom,
    Gerbils are good pets. I’ve had 4. They’re desert dwellers, so your research was correct…very low scent. Not at all like hamsters or mice! Only pet less scented are chinchillas, but they aren’t a beginner pet. Male gerbils sleep a bit more than females, but won’t fight like male hamsters are won’t to do.

    They are nocturnal though, so just be aware of that when their wheel is spinning around all night, lol. Also…they are jumpers. It is absurd the amount of distance they can clear if not held correctly.

    Liked by 2 people

  103. SFC Ton says:

    That is the measure of a man BV; do you want him next to you when the shit hits

    Liked by 1 person

  104. Spawny Get says:


    That’s better. It’s been a while

    Liked by 3 people

  105. Spawny Get says:

    “do you want him next to you when the shit hits”

    Always nice to have a decoy.

    Liked by 2 people

  106. Tarnished says:

    Right up to you pulling a knife on me.
    Silly Spawny. I don’t knife people. Knives get confiscated. Teeth, on the other hand… 😈

    Ya, I’d follow any 115 lb babysitter into any inferno.

    Bwahahaha! You’d never even get Mike within 50 feet of an inferno.

    But see, this is what I mean, all kidding aside. I tend to think of most (not all) men as having some form of masculinity. Mike’s is more of the paternal/father/nurturing side, which is different than Spawny’s, which is different than Ton’s, etc etc etc. I was just wondering what Ton considers masculine, so I could actually answer the previous question.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. SFC Ton says:

    The do you want him when the shit hits is the universal and ancient measure of a man

    Liked by 2 people

  108. Tarnished says:

    Always nice to have a decoy.

    Damn it, Spawny! I was in the middle of a drink! Ugh…my poor nose… 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  109. Tarnished says:

    Okay then…by that definition, Ton, probably about 1/3 of the guys I’m friends with are masculine.

    Like

  110. SFC Ton says:

    LOL ok Tarn, out of that 1/3, how many would I want next to me?

    Liked by 1 person

  111. Spawny Get says:

    Sorry about your nose. Thanks for the acknowledgement.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. Cill says:

    Spawny, countries in blue drive on left side of road.

    They should have set the action in Guyana or Suriname rather than Peru.

    Liked by 2 people

  113. Spawny Get says:

    Prexactly, Cill. Prexactly.

    Liked by 1 person

  114. Spawny Get says:

    Also, are nappies, nappies where you are? Or are they called diapers?

    Like

  115. Spawny Get says:

    Think they filmed it around here, if I had to guess. They could have set it where you say just as easily as ‘Peru’

    Liked by 1 person

  116. Spawny Get says:

    Just checked. Filmed in Wales. Easy mistaka ta maka. I live in South South Wales.

    Liked by 2 people

  117. Cill says:

    “how many would I want next to me?”
    Only a tiny percentage of men would measure up. A lot will talk and act as if they will, but when the chips are down, they haven’t got what it takes.

    Liked by 1 person

  118. Tarnished says:

    LOL ok Tarn, out of that 1/3, how many would I want next to me?

    I only know of one guy in my friend group who is a big enough muscle, frameholder, fighter, and asshole personality to put up with you that you’d want next to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  119. Tarnished says:

    Ah, this thread… 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  120. Spawny Get says:

    If the shtf I can think of at least 650 people I’d like next to me. If I knew how many were in the European parliament…there’d be that many more.

    Liked by 2 people

  121. Spawny Get says:

    You did mean ‘count on to fuck it up’, didn’t you?

    Liked by 2 people

  122. Tarnished says:

    Damn it all, you Spawny Get! Not again! You’re gonna owe me a new keyboard, mate. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  123. Spawny Get says:

    (There are 650 MPs in the British Houses of Parliament…iirc)

    Like

  124. Cill says:

    “Ah, this thread…”
    Unfortunately, in the absence of my sobering influence, the MoC has cunningly concocted chaos on the blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  125. Spawny Get says:

    To be fair, the ‘decoy’ gag setup was wafted over the plate…it would have been rude not to swing. Tarn’s nostril effluvium just made it a home run.

    Liked by 1 person

  126. Cill says:

    “his forehead meeting the doorway will do the job”
    I ain’t got a brow ridge for nuttin’.

    Liked by 2 people

  127. Spawny Get says:

    When a door doesn’t fit in a doorway, you plane it down…you see where I’m going with this?

    Like

  128. Farm Boy says:

    I ain’t got a brow ridge for nuttin’.

    Wouldn’t that be Moe?

    Like

  129. Moehau Man says:

    “When a door doesn’t fit in a doorway, you plane it down”.

    You can also bring down a Kauri Club on a bloke’s head until he fits through a doorway. You can bash his shoulders in a bit as well, if he’s too wide. I find it easier to hunch me head and sidle through. I have to remove the oblong rock from my codpiece first, of course.

    Liked by 2 people

  130. Cill says:

    Ahem (cough)
    Obviously Moehau Mans are heedless of the sensitivities of some of the more gentile foreigners out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  131. Yoda says:

    A new post there is.

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: