Every so often, I check out what Mike Buchanan has found over at Justice For Men & Boys. As a citizen of the US, I’m not always informed about the specifics of certain issues and personalities in UK politics that he presents, but Buchanan demonstrates that we Across the Pond attract his notice. One recent gem examined the reasons women seem to not find men they deem suitable as mates. It happens to be about a book written my old pal Jon Birger, whom I’ve cited in a previous post.
The article in question was written by NY Post columnist Reed Tucker, who in his self-appointed role as White Knight to Frustrated Spinsters has us revisit Birger’s book, Date-onomics. His focus is aimed at college-educated women, and advises them to consider blue-collar men. In addition, he proposes that women be the aggressors:
“The aggressive women are the ones more likely to get the guy. “I was talking about this with my rabbi, and he does premarital counselling,” Birger says. “Of the nine couples he had in counselling, seven of them shared a similar story: The guys all had several options, but they married the women who pursued them the most.”
The comments following this article are especially enlightening, but to quote them in detail would take too much attention from where I intend to go. I thus choose to quote but one to point out the international flavor of the response:
I would say there is no ‘man shortage’ in America (I’m English, not American, so my opinions are those of a foreigner who has never been to that country – but in this internet age it is not so difficult to see what is happening elsewhere.) What there is in America, as you observe, is a growing realisation that a man is more than a beast of burden and a lifelong ‘give, give, give’ cash machine. That realisation is growing just as fast in England and the other parts of the ‘United’ Kingdom, and elsewhere in Europe and across the world. What men everywhere are learning is that borders and ideologies do not divide us as much as the assaults of women unite us.
(The comment has no direct link to it, but can be found below the cited article.)
That growing realization might be spurred by articles such as 7 Ways To Spot Your Future Ex-Husband.
But more women are currently looking to understand how to spot future husbands, and want to understand what they are up against. One claim is that Men May Like The Idea Of A Smart Woman, But They Don’t Want To Date One. I’ll let a couple of that article’s comments respond to that canard:
WRONG! Men don’t want to date women who think they are smarter…and have a chip on their shoulder about it. It’s not about the intelligence level, it’s about the attitude that goes with it.
Women seem to think crapping on the male-ego is a win/win situation in the dating environment. No wonder they can’t find dates. Someone forgot to tell them that NOBODY wants their ego crapped-on, regardless of gender. If you can’t learn this simple rule, you deserve to be single.
It isn’t just the “fragile male ego” which is at risk in the modern dating arena. There was a stir created recently by the father of a dating daughter in which Dad declares that “Whatever you do to my daughter, I will do to you.”. As the father of two daughters, I understand this sentiment. I would act on it if I thought it necessary. I’ve never had to. My daughters know how to deal with such issues.
But I have also experienced this from the other side myself. I once picked up a girl at her home, and was going through the usual family introductions. When we got to her father, he didn’t acknowledge me, except to glare silently at me while cleaning his .357 at the kitchen table. Also on display were his shotguns and hunting rifles, a couple with scopes. His hatred of me was quite clear, and I never called his daughter again. I didn’t feel it was worth my life in the event she said something about me that her dad wouldn’t like very much.
A mother of a dating son took offense at such threats, writing a response to this father with the warped sense of “humor”:
…teenage sexuality is not a “boy thing”. Teenage sexuality is a teenage thing. Young men and young women alike are going to be curious, interested, and looking to learn more about sex. Your daughter is just as curious as my son, I can virtually guarantee it. Yet you don’t see me polishing a shotgun when she comes over to do homework….The idea of threatening young women to keep their hands off young men is ludicrous, yet when roles are reversed it’s completely accepted and even encouraged.
One commenter to the mother’s post had something I consider very pertinent to add:
How many of you know, or maybe are, parents who are raising their little girls to think they are princesses, or in some way “special”. That automatically lends itself to be in a position to be saved…I can’t even tell you how many ridiculous GROWN women get a divorce, want to relive life like they are 16 and talk about trying to find their prince, find someone who will treat them like a princess, etc… Sickening and pathetic. Solve that and you are on your way to your quest of raising girls who don’t need to be saved. BE REAL WITH YOUR KIDS.
–Glenn A. Brons
Based on the comments supportive of the father in both posts, many young men face this threat. And, as we’ve discussed many times here on Spawny’s Space, the value of women to these young men isn’t as great as these young women desire. Society blames the young men for this, despite it being clear that self-preservation is at work here. Do we blame a swimmer defending himself from shark attack by gouging out the shark’s eye? Do we expect citizens of Mexico to dare the most powerful hurricane ever to hit their land to conquer them by exposing themselves to its tremendous power? Why are we taken aback when men increasing do so against the ever-growing onslaught of dating and matrimony – the “assaults of women“?
The threat to young males grows. Action star Vin Diesel has declared himself to be a dad working to ensure his daughter has limited dating and marriage prospects in her future. He has MMA star Ronda Rousey teaching judo to his 7-year-old daughter Hania. “I’m creating a beast and I want her to be able to say no means no.” OK, fine. Yet, someday, she will want to hear some young man say yes – and he won’t. Will that not make her more aggressive, as Jon Birger’s rabbi suggests above?
Diesel added this comment in an interview with FOX affiliate WENN: “I feel sorry for anyone that has to [date my daughter],” Diesel told WENN. “I wouldn’t want that on my worst enemy, because I’m just that kind of dad.”
And don’t think that the young men who interest her won’t pick up on that. It isn’t likely that she will seem worth the risk to most of them – if not all of them. She will end up defending her choice from her father -no matter who he is- if she is to ever have a man in her life.
Much is going to have to change before men and women can have real relationships again. This hostile caveman attitude blanketed against all young men by fathers of young women isn’t going to help repair the damage already done, and might make it worse. We older men who are fathers don’t have to make things even more difficult than women are already doing.
OK, I’ve donned my flame suit. You may fire when ready, Gridley!