Over at Dalrock’s, Deti commented,
Most women are looking for “hedonic” marriage, i.e., marriage which is personally, socially, culturally, professionally and sexually very fulfilling all the time, with no problems or difficulties, and which is a safe place for the accumulation and deployment of material assets. So if there are problems (the usual one being her lack of sexual attraction for him, which leads to all other marital problems), her conclusion is that the marriage was a mistake, and she “chose wrongly”. In most women’s view, marital problems mean the marriage needs to be ended, because “he was not The One”.
From being around the manosphere for about 4 years now, it’s become very clear to me that the primary problem in marriages today is that women are marrying men to whom they are considerably less attracted to than the men they used to have sex with when they were younger. Don’t get me wrong. These women really do like these men they’re marrying. I think they do love these men at first and when the marriage gets started, when there is lots of new relationship energy and she is excited about getting married (which excitement she mistakes for sexual attraction). There is even a little sexual attraction there. The problem is that there is not nearly as much sexual attraction for husband as there was for the men she used to have sex with before she met her husband. This, right here, is the main reason most marriages falter.
This is a very interesting idea; that the main reason that most marriages falter is because the women are alpha widows. How true is it?
If tingles and great sex are the defining moment(s) in a woman’s life, then this seems plausible. She had it once, therefore she is worthy. She should have it all of the time. But is it the defining moment of her life? Are there not competitors? Perhaps childbirth, raising the children, family and friends, etc. Perhaps these don’t give the immediate peak in awesomeness that great sex does, but overall they should be competitors.
So the questions are,
Is great tingling sex the high point of a woman’s life that everything else is compared against?
Is not having it because she is married to a guy who does not do it for her more about her not having the mind blowing sex, or about the seeming fact that maybe she was not worthy enough to get a guy for the long term who could deliver it?
Why are other factors (e.g. children) seemingly ineffective in mitigating these issues?
Why do many women seemingly not want the previous issues to be mitigated?
The world wonders. At least I do.