Over at Dalrock’s, he recounts how his wife has acted in times past,
I’ve written in the past about a time in our marriage roughly 20 years ago where my wife would at times go out of her way to make me not want to be around. When she did this I’d go hunting or fishing, or do something else rather than choose to stick around and be treated that way. She would go from desperately wanting to drive me away to feeling terribly alone after having done so. To my wife’s great credit she eventually figured out how to stop doing what she was doing. The most difficult part for her was whenever she talked to other women about this impulse she was feeling they acted like she was crazy. All of them denied ever having experienced or even hearing about this impulse, even though in some cases she had watched them do the exact same thing. Eventually she figured out that if she just resisted the immediate urge and focused on something else for a while, the impulse would quickly go away.
Let us assume that this was a shit-test. Women do shit-test. Can they help it? In the case above it does seem that they can. In my Mom’s case, it was also true. But many women can not. This bears further examination.
There does seem to be a drive somewhere in women to test her man. In the manosphere, this is a given. Women apparently compulsively transform whatever is presently happening with her fella into a shit test when the urge comes bubbling up. Use Mrs. Dalrock as an example of this I will. She was a quality lady even before she married Mr. Dalrock. Still, once married she had the propensity to act in this manner. Now consider the garden-variety woman; probably she can hardly help but to do so.
Women should be trained to recognize and reject their compulsions to shit-test. But many of them would consider this to be lots of work (think in terms of the average women’s lack of discipline). Furthermore it would violate their free speech rights; “I am woman, hear me roar. With annoying shit-tests galore”. But is there a good reason to curb them? From her perspective?
It is obvious to men that the answer is yes; but a further explanation will be stated for the sake of skeptical women. Let us be blunt here: the relationship is at stake (though perhaps the wife does not care, with potential cash and prizes and all). These tests will only drag the relationship into territory that is not beneficial to her. Men will react poorly from her perspective, often withdrawing as Dalrock did. Self-sabotage is not the path to long term success no matter how gratifying shit-testing may feel in the short run.
So what to do. Follow Mrs. Dalrock’s example. First consider past incidents. Recall how they came about, and the feelings that came welling up. Learn to recognize these situations, and when you sense them coming on, short circuit them. After practice, this can become a good habit. Everybody (including the woman) will be much happier.