THE MAN HOWL


Some commenters talk of the value of “sammiches” (known as “sammies” in more civilized climes). I’m here to talk about the value of the howl.

It’s Spring here, the worst time of year for weather in Godzone. The last few days have been fine and clear though. I took advantage of a brilliant starry night to stand on the clifftop with Dog and howl at the moon while Horse stood at the fence and watched.

As always, I get a rager, my shorts bulging out like a tent pitched on the face of a cliff. Horse gives a snickering snort. Dog gives my rager a quick double-take then loses his voice in mid-howl. He staggers away a few paces, cocking his head left and right as if trying to stabilize the fluid in his ears.

I carry on howling unchecked. I really do let it rip. I envision all good men joining me around the world. Throughout the skies our howls resound. The fembots’ eyes widen with astonishment at this commanding display by men. The howl brings forth an eye-filling thrustiness, the likesย of which the fembots themselves could never have inspired.

What’s that you say? You blokes in cities don’t have cliffs? So do it on top of a high-rise office or apartment block, against the backdrop of the setting sun. Turn side-on, presenting your profiles to the gawking fembots. Each of your silhouetted poles stands forth, it does, like the mast of a keeler on port tack heading due North through the roaring forties.

Or do it on your balcony, or front yard, extending yourself with your howl. Go with it, grow with it men!

Don’t make the mistake of trying to compete with their shrill voices in discourse. Howl ’em down instead.

Don’t be a pussy, be a rager. Show those floozies the stuff that dreams are made of. Burn and rave at close of day. Wise men at their end know hard is right. They do not serve, who only fawn and date.

 

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Posted in Cill, Fun
78 comments on “THE MAN HOWL
  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You gave me a thought, an image of Big Red, stunned into silence, by a human male howl,
    Ahhhhhh Oooooooooooooh!

    This is on of my favorites. A twenty day old puppy trying to teach his pet human to sing.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Cill says:

    Fuzzy his howl will improve with age.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sumo says:

    What with the bullwhip, staff and other assorted weapon training that goes on in my yard, the neighbors are scared of me enough as it is – wouldn’t be fair to subject them to this as well.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Cillhouette says:

    I probably can’t howl, my voice being too quiet. I should practice with friends. I so like the idea of howling down the shrill femisnits!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Cillhouette says:

    I can’t do the other part though, the tenty thing. ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Cillhouette says:

    I *can* crack a bullwhip! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cill says:

    Sumo, howl as you crack you whip through the sound barrier. That’ll make your local fembots sit up and take notice.
    (How do I know you have fembots in your neighborhood? Most everybody has.)

    Cillhouette, “I should practice with friends”. You’ll need a man, or man’s best friend. You girls should practice with Dog and me some time.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Cillhouette says:

    How much Dutch Courage will I need first? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sumo says:

    That could work….whip practice does occasionally elicit a howl or two, if my concentration wanes and I slip and flog myself.

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Cill says:

    Dutch? Scotch that.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Cill says:

    My god, bro, I’d hate to do that with a shot whip.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I thought that the puppy was very articulate for being so very young.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic for Yoda. A silly Earthling musing about lightsabers.

    Like

  14. Sumo says:

    Iโ€™d hate to do that with a shot whip.

    It’s not one of my favorite things in the world, either. Doesn’t happen often, thankfully. I can usually “feel” it it’s about to go wrong, and my reflexes (re: sense of self preservation) are mostly good enough to get the hell out of the way.

    Mostly.

    Like

  15. Farm Boy says:

    Howling doesn’t work well when evil men do it.
    I wonder if Darth Maul howls also…

    Like

  16. Cillhouette says:

    The puppy was just gorgeous! When he grows up he’ll be another kind of gorgeous. He’s a Malamute / Siberian Husky, eh.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Farm Boy says:

    Does Moe join in?

    Like

  18. Cill says:

    The “Cat ‘o Nine Tails” would have been bad enough, but nowhere near as bad as being hit by a shot whip (because only a fraction of the speed). What got me was the shock of it. I’d describe it as the mother of all whacks followed by blinding pain. I had to squat on my haunches in reverent silence for a minute or two.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    You don’t seem to be the “howling” type. I’s say you’d be more for “cooing”, expressing pleasure over socialiizing.
    I think when wolves howl, it is a form of socialization but it’s ove distance.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Cill says:

    Just looking at his avatar, I doubt that Moehau Man’s throat is shaped for howling. He’d have difficulty raising his face to the moon. Also, he’d have a more guttural tongue, along the lines of Neanderthal Man.

    Like

  21. Sumo says:

    Sounds like maybe you were “pulling” the cracker towards yourself; the method I learned involves “pushing” it away from your body. Minimizes self wounding. There’s also a trick involved with envisioning yourself standing between a set of railroad tracks, and ensuring that the tip always stays outside the rails.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. molly says:

    Cuzzie me too! My voice is not deep to howl and is not shrill. I miss out all round ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Cill says:

    What happened was, when my brother and I were in our teens we found our Dad’s supply of Scotch and scoffed a bottle. We started talking about the old days when Dad used to get the cane at school. We decided to give it a try, so I bent over and he took at crack at my arse with one of Dad’s shot whips. I was to go first and he second. After he saw my agony he hauled his arse out of Dodge, so to speak.

    (Our dad, an Aussie, had taught us how to use whips.)

    Like

  24. Sumo says:

    Well, there’s your problem – never go first. Always let the other sucker take the first step.

    (says the idiot who was always the first one through the door)

    Liked by 3 people

  25. Cillhouette says:

    Dad told us all it could hurt enough to cause cardiac arrest. You (Cill) listened but it didn’t stop you, eh.
    Boys push the boundaries and become builders and heroes. Girls who try it, fail. Boys go on to build civilizations. Gender is *not* a social construct.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Cill says:

    I admit rather ruefully that my sister speaks the truth. I did listen to Dad’s advice and no, it didn’t stop me. If I could turn back the clock would I do it again? Probably. Other pain, such as an oft-broken nose, broken leg, arms, ribs and wrist, seemed paltry after that.

    Like

  27. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Hey! It’s the big pet human! Wanna join in?

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Sumo says:

    Other pain, such as an oft-broken nose, broken leg, arms, ribs and wrist, seemed paltry after that.

    Ah, pain perspective. All young lads should learn that lesson.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Cilhouette says:

    Fuzzie’s video – they howl better than the 20 weeks pup. Are they excited or frustrated? Are they looking down at something they want? Food?

    The dog howlings I enjoy best are when they are deep into doggy ancientness.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Cill says:

    I think we should give the word “doggy” a wide berth.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. molly says:

    Wa – ooooooooooo! ๐Ÿ˜€
    That’s all she meant. Heh.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Sumo says:

    I think we should give the word โ€œdoggyโ€ a wide berth.

    I AM capable of behaving myself, you know. I just mostly choose not to.

    Mostly.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    I think that some youtubers have gone overboard on this. In the last video, I think the puppies couldn’t sleep, so they had a mini doggie riot.

    Like

  34. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, if dogs stray around the hearths of us Moehau Mans, we eat ’em. Some say your friendship with dogs is a reason why you foreign jokers’ civilization outstripped ours. I say our love of all flesh gives us a reverence for the Kauri Club. As Mrs Moehau Man (my insightful old mum) once observed, “Kauri Club or Feminism? Take your pick.”

    Liked by 2 people

  35. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    I don’t know what you’re thinking of. “Doggy” makes me think of wagging tails, happy to see me, and where’s my dinner?.

    Like

  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    I just realized that you must be thinking of thing that would make Big Red howl. You’d need to get her out of Toronto to a remote area of Wyoming.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. molly says:

    Fuzzie “whereโ€™s my dinner?”
    My junk food gives you heartburn. ๐Ÿ˜›
    A salad diet for you… yet I can’t be cruel!
    ๐ŸŒฏ ๐ŸŒฏ ๐ŸŒฏ ๐ŸŒฏ ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ™„

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Cill says:

    “get her out of Toronto to a remote area of Wyoming”
    O yeah! The word “doggy” springs to mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Cill says:

    A remote area of the Southern Alps, Big Red bent over a boulder…

    Liked by 1 person

  40. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I had forgotten too! ๐ŸŒฏ ๐ŸŒฏ ๐ŸŒฏ ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ™„
    Thank you for the burritos and the reminder.

    Cill,
    That Big REd! For only appearing one time, she sure made an impression! It is fun to think about corrupting her.

    Like

  41. Cillhouette says:

    Who is Big Red?

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Cill says:

    True Fuzzy, true. However, I do have to put BR out of my mind…

    Liked by 1 person

  43. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    I had a feeling that someone ahdn’t heard of her. She only showed up for one event at the Universiy of Toronto but, it was memorable. To call her a “pottymouth” would be a classic understatement.

    Like

  44. Cill says:

    BR: the most unsexy thing imaginable for me. The lust talk is parabolic.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Cillhouette says:

    Oh

    Liked by 1 person

  46. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    Big Red seems to exemplify the word “unladylike”. She seems to revel in being as deliberately unfeminine as possible. Once you get over the revulsion, she can be quite funny.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. molly says:

    Big Red Grrrrrr
    I fell a headbutt coming on XD

    Liked by 1 person

  48. molly says:

    Fuzzie show how bad she is? The music video of Big Red! You know

    Liked by 2 people

  49. Cillhouette says:

    I’ve seen her before on spawny’s blog. I forget the forgettbale. You men and your dark sense of humor!
    Feminists have no sense of humor! BIG problem. Post topic?

    Liked by 3 people

  50. Cillhouette says:

    Goodnight people of USA and Canada.
    xxoo
    Thank you for including us here ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  51. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    Big Red videos are going by the wayside with time. This one is still up. When she breaks into “Cry Me a River” it’s over the question of men committing suicide. Dan Perrins who was there lost his brother that way. In the video there is a prompt and it takes you to another video covering the details. Essentially it was o0ver a $10k beef with the court over back child support. When it came time to settle, they wanted only $4k. Sick.

    Like

  52. molly says:

    Thank you Fuzzie. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I hoped my cuz would stay to see it (does not need convincing tho)

    Liked by 1 person

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I like your family!

    Like

  54. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    I get to sawing logs soon but, about men and dark humor, Big Red is so outrageous, so over the top, we can’t help it. It’s that or cry.
    Now, I’ll dream about all the bees in New Zealand bringing honey to your whole family!

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Cillhouette says:

    I wish you peaceful sleep Fuzzie!

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Spawny Get says:

    Is this howling something you only do when you’re feeling good? Or do you do it when you’re feeling ruff too?

    Like

  57. Spawny Get says:

    BR is a ‘relentless cunt’ as many a feminist tends to be.

    The perfect storm of indoctrinated, dumb, solipsistic (to the nth degree) and misandric. All enabled by the societal norm that women seldom pay the price for running their mouths.

    Liked by 2 people

  58. Spawny Get says:

    Now I understand why calling someone a shivehead is such an insult.

    Big Red and Steve Shivehead deserve each other

    Also, I though atheism+ was a dead thing. Why is this fuckhead shivehead trying to resurrect it?

    I would love to see these people analysed. Are they that insane? Or is there some catastrophic personality disorder involved? Shirley we can spare an island? Drop them all off onto it and forget about it.

    Like

  59. Spawny Get says:

    This guy is epic

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Cill says:

    “Is this howling something you only do when youโ€™re feeling good? Or do you do it when youโ€™re feeling ruff too?”

    Howling is something you can do after you’ve had a good day.

    Or something hits you in the head like you’re feeling bloody good despite feminism insisting a man should feel bad.

    Or you’ve just heard a dumb bint on TV regurgitate false facts about DV.

    Or the NZ govt seriously looking at removing due process for men and not women.

    Howl in defiance before they make it illegal to howl (if it isn’t already)

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Cill says:

    I just finished listening to Bill Burr vids. Liked them both.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. Spawny Get says:

    Feeling RUFF…I’ll get me coat

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Cill says:

    “Iโ€™ll get me coat”
    Don’t forget to open it at the appropriate time..

    Liked by 2 people

  64. molly says:

    Honeymoon at Cill’s place ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  65. Spawny Get says:

    “Honeymoon at Cillโ€™s place”
    I’m sure it’d be a growing experience for Cill.
    He’d work off a lot of bad karma

    Like

  66. molly says:

    “Cillhouette” will be having her honeymoon at Cill’s place.

    Liked by 2 people

  67. Spawny Get says:

    My version would be more amusing…*shrug*

    Like

  68. Cill says:

    [Cill edit: “Donโ€™t forget to open it at the appropriate time..” ๐Ÿ˜‰ ]

    Like

  69. molly says:

    My cousin is married. That’s why we were away. She’s at Cill’s place now.

    Liked by 3 people

  70. molly says:

    She and her beau. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  71. Spawny Get says:

    “Sleeping it off?”

    How dare you! You cheeky young whippersnapper!

    Re. The mystery trip
    I was somewhat concerned that I was going to get a knock on the door from Cill ‘n’ the Gang because you were over for the rugby. I don’t think Cill would fit in my hobbit-hole…the damage to the door frames…

    May the marriage thing go smoothly and happily for both…

    Liked by 4 people

  72. Happy to hear the howling is going well! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  73. Liz says:

    Congrats, Cillhouette!
    That’s awesome news! ๐Ÿ™‚
    (makes me feel a bit betterโ€ฆ.I was feeling blue this morning)
    Have a excellent luna di miele.

    Liked by 2 people

  74. Tarnished says:

    Howling is one of the things I miss the most about living where I do now. When I was young and still living with parents, we had over 12 acres of pure forest around and behind the house. No wolves over here, but tons of coyotes and foxes. I just could not resist calling back to them whenever they started up…A few times during the winter I’d miss seeing “my” main coyote family, so I’d take whatever scraps of chicken, veal, etc we had left over, place them at the edge of the forest property, and howl to them from the balcony.

    They’d always howl back, and eventually come to feast. I could tell it was the same family each time, because the mom had a strange kink in her tail, and one of the younglings had a distinct spot of brown over 1 ear that stood out nicely from their grey coat. I wonder how they’re doing, if any are still around…

    And, ah, yes. Cill is correct that howling is a tad arousing. Likely because it’s so damn core and primal, in a society that likes to pretend humans aren’t animals.

    Liked by 4 people

  75. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Somebody is very good at keeping secrets!
    Congratulations, Cillhouette!
    Or, should I sat
    Ahhhhhhh Oooooooooohhhhhh!

    Liked by 1 person

  76. Cillhouette says:

    Thanks Fuzzie ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  77. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Ahhhhhh Ooooooooohhhhh!!!!

    Like

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