Frivorce — Part V


There is a pattern in frivorce proceedings that I have seen many a time.  It is that the soon to be ex-wife lies.  I am sure that husbands lie also, but from the anecdotal evidence that I have seen, it is the woman who does this to large measure.  Often the lies take the form of different types of abuse, to her and/or the children.

Of course this is done to gain leverage in the proceedings, but both the Church (Ten Commandments) and the Government (Perjury) have rules against this, and for good reason.  Perhaps women feel justified because of the past supposed wrongs of the Patriarchy.  Or maybe they believe that since they are lying to themselves and the world about why they are divorcing, then “what is one more lie”?  Furthermore, there is never any punishment for them due to lying, so why not?

So if you are a fella going through a frivorce, expect the lies to come forth.  It is standard practice.  Perhaps abuse accusations should be boilerplate text in divorce proceedings.  It can’t be good for a nation for its Divorce Courts to be considered to be such a joke.  And an unfunny one at that.

If anybody thinks that I am being unfair here, do say so.

Naturally enough NAWALT applies.

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Posted in FarmBoy, Lies, Marriage
88 comments on “Frivorce — Part V
  1. Spawny Get says:

    I’ve seen this too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Certainly the case for Red. Even after the divorce is done and she’s moved her lover in, she continues to make up ways “she had to” and “it was his fault.” To my amazement, even though it’s as clear as day what the real “reason” was (affair+branch swing) people have largely believed her, even applauded her bravery! Sniff -you go gurrrl!

    I have seen men do it too, but not at the same level, not as ardently. Perhaps it’s sons anti slut defense move or a form of seeking the support of the village or something?

    Liked by 5 people

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I saw a post written by Scarecrow a little more than a month ago. In his business, he has to testify in court fairly often and his philosophy is to never lie in court. The reason he wrote the post is that he had to spend some time in family court. He couldn’t believe the whoppers that were being taken in. I think that he concluded the post by saying that no one had been prosecuted for perjury in civil or family court EVER. It has become a free for all.
    Curious, I thought that going from “at fault” to “no fault” was supposed to change all of this and streamline the process. I think the only reason women contest custody is to raise the proportion of child support. It’s about the money.
    It was Sargon of Akkad, in one of his videos, that opens with the first three lines from the Code of Hummarabi. All three deal with perjury and the punishment for all three was death. That was the price of confidence in the court system.
    Isn’t there also some matching federal incentive for courts to maximize awards to women. Doesn’t it come out of Social Security?

    Like

  4. Cill says:

    “a form of seeking the support of the village”
    If the herd believes it, it’s true, regardless of the facts. Hence the need to influence the herd. Women can retrospectively create the histories of themselves and the suckers who married them.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    Make some popcorn. While it may not happen that fast, you will get to see this whole thing unwind before your eyes. It may even end as I predicted, with a FBI raid on Jane’s house.
    Jane is not done making a mess of things.

    Like

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    I think that the herd merely repeats the story. They know, after the first few times, that they are passing on something that comes out of the back end of a bull.

    If half of all marriages are going to end up this way, why are people bothering?

    Like

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I just got through watching a “Louder with Crowder” interview with Karen Straghan. There are three half hour segments.

    https://toysoldier.wordpress.com/2015/09/29/sjw-feminist-myths-destroyed-by-karen-straughan/

    What struck me is that, in the third segment, Karen makes the observation that our own women have “othered” their own men to a point where genocide normally ensues. “Othering” woud be defaming to the point of being less than human. Karen could not think of a single historical precedent for this.
    She is right and I can’t either.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is for Liz but, all animal lovers will enjoy it. This dog is absolutely hopeless for a life of crime.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Farm Boy says:

    Here is a video to cheer the Bear up,

    Liked by 1 person

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    What a noble bear! I guess they were photographers and had little food.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Farm Boy says:

    I wonder what Moehau Mans Women do when they are caught perjuring themselves…

    Liked by 1 person

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Presuming that Moehau Man women are like any other preliterate culture, they would not tell a lie. In a world without word being transferred to paper, people remember the spoken word exactly. I have heard that it was customary and respectful among the Iroquois to allow ten minutes to pass before responding to anything said in council.
    You can see how this could create problems between whites and Indians. Indians would keep their speculation to themselves while whites would air theirs.

    Like

  13. Yoda says:

    Presuming that Moehau Man women are like any other preliterate culture, they would not tell a lie

    A big presumption this is

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Yoda says:

    “a form of seeking the support of the village”

    Perhaps Hillary meant this about villages she did.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. molly says:

    Women don’t have a conscience. They have group-bias instead. Group-bias is automatic lies, based on a lie “women are better than men”. Lies are group-bias’s language. Women will automatically lie in divorce.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “A big presumption this is.”
    The point is, that in a a society that is without paper, a person’s word is all they have and it will be remembered verbatim.
    I don’t think Moe has caught his dear old Mum in a fib, nuch less any of the Moehau Man women.

    Like

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly!
    I hope there were no more conversations with policemaen about speeding. 🌯 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄

    You do bring up an interesting concept. I always thought with lying, the person doing it had to to demote the lie-ee. I think you have confirmed that.
    I have to ask, why do women think they can demote men?

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Moehau Man says:

    Moehau Mans have known since time immemorial, it’s the Kauri Club that maketh the man honest. As Mrs Moehau Man (my truthful old mum) once said, “Absence of the club maketh the fib grow fonder.”

    Liked by 1 person

  19. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Captain Capitalism hit one out of the park. It’s long but well worth it.
    http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2015/09/blame-women-disproportionately-for.html

    Between that and Karen Straughan’s revelation, I nedd a good night’s sleep to digest it all. Karen’s thoughts worry me the most. A societyt where its women hate their men to that extent is headed for big trouble.

    Like

  20. Liz says:

    Aw, poor pooch. Cute video, Fuzzie! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. BuenaVista says:

    There’s no status to be acquired in opting for capricious serial monogamy, in the main. Women tend to attack any man who identifies their open hypergamy. But there’s a lot of status to be acquired today by claiming abuse-by-male.

    At the same time, the culture celebrates females as more emotionally evolved — as superior emotional beings. TradCons (male and female) and white knights and male feminists love to parrot this line. For them, the path to male virtue is arbitrated by a Wise Woman.

    So, what could possibly explain a Wise Woman’s apparent capriciousness? Why, she had no choice, for she was victimized directly or indirectly (e.g., “he’s just not there for me”/”he just doesn’t get me”/”he’s emotionally remote and it’s just torture to be so alone”).

    In my travels through the netherworld of SingleLand, I’ve a new anecdote. I was semi-drunk last Saturday, cooking for the tavern, and watching the Good Guys put up 62 and crush a group of unfortunates from Texas. A young woman was making eye contact and giggling so after the 15 mins of preliminaries, I said, “So okay, I want your number.” She blanched but complied; she later told me that men her age now ask their friends to ask her friends to ask her if maybe she liked them or something.

    Anyhow, on the second date, we’re talking in between rolling around on a blanket by the lake, I got The Speech. I can almost recite the speech myself; the talking points (there’s rarely any reflection or self-awareness or self-criticism). It seems she was married for six months; that she shockingly discovered her husband was an addict (gambling) and she’d never noticed it while they dated; that he turned “cold and unforgiving and emotionally remote” when she demanded he stop; that “for my own health and safety I had to get away from him.”

    This is an approved script. Sympathy is expected, and apparently usually achieved. Men operating in SingleLand: have you ever heard a divorced woman say, “Meh, there are always two people in the room, let’s not discuss it.” Or heard them say, “I wanted to get me some strange. Is yours very big?”

    The Speech is social network currency, offering absolution and for personal decision making, and status bonus points. Best to get it out of the way early. Here we have a 28 year-old who inhabits a social sphere in which frightened men act like they’re in seventh grade and women change their minds about marriage after six months. But the women, upon terminating a family or relationship, are always done evil by evil men.

    I have a theory about this, but it’s not fleshed out. Since I think this assignment of aggressive abuse, by a woman, is seemingly by rote, it cannot be true and in fact is the three-alarm fire in the SMP of dangerous female projection; if she separates herself from her behavior by assigning criminal or pathological abuse to you, a man, you can be sure you’ll be the deer in her headlights at some point, and be similarly accused. There’s just no other explanation for fabricating male perfidy, other than female hate, and the utility of claiming superior status-by-victimization.

    The three divorced women (well, two divorced and one married) I was close to over the past 15 years never delivered The Speech. They always spoke well of their husbands and took responsibility for their decisions to end/attempt to end their marriages. I’d say all three had unicorn qualities, and one was a unicorn.

    Liked by 6 people

  22. Yoda says:

    “Abuse accusations just projection they are”
    Interesting theory this is.
    Perhaps much truth here there would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Yoda says:

    Sith have rules against perjury they do?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Yoda says:

    Women among themselves discuss how to perjure themselves they do?

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Liz says:

    ” she shockingly discovered her husband was an addict (gambling) and she’d never noticed it while they dated”

    They probably met at the casino.

    “I have a theory about this, but it’s not fleshed out. Since I think this assignment of aggressive abuse, by a woman, is seemingly by rote, it cannot be true and in fact is the three-alarm fire in the SMP of dangerous female projection; if she separates herself from her behavior by assigning criminal or pathological abuse to you, a man, you can be sure you’ll be the deer in her headlights at some point, and be similarly accused. There’s just no other explanation for fabricating male perfidy, other than female hate, and the utility of claiming superior status-by-victimization.”

    I think it just becomes part of the narrative. Similar to the way eye witness testimony can be very inaccurate, imagine how inaccurate it would be after the retelling in front of a captive audience over the course of weeks or months, offering their own versions of an event they weren’t event they weren’t even there to see.

    Anecdotal example: This is the moment “it all” became clear to me.
    Quite a few years back (they were childless, thankfully), a couple of friends of ours got a divorce. He had only been married for about three years, and the wife chose to call and tell him she wanted a divorce when he was in a particularly stressful job situation. Short story summed up, it was a really crappy thing to do, and really classless way to do it. He was WAY too good for her, and I couldn’t believe it when they got married.
    He was our roomate in college, so we were very close. He and Mike talked for hours on the phone about all sorts of things…and then, right before he hung up, our friend said, “Oh, yeah…did I happen to tell you I’m getting a divorce?” Mike said (paraphrasing) “Really? That sucks”, “Yeah, okay, talk to you later”. That was it. The entire hours long conversation had been about other things.

    By contrast, I wasn’t friends with his wife but I guaran-damn-tee she was bitching to her friends for months, probably every single day for months, about him before she told him she wanted a divorce. She probably put in a thousand hours of talk in extraordinary detail as his every perceived flaw/behavior pattern/whatnot was hashed and rehashed until it took on a life of it’s own. Much like the faux rape meme, where the “victim” is absolutely convinced she was raped in retrospect, she creates her own narrative for a pattern of “abuse”. And it’s just confirmed with all the hens clucking in agreement.

    Liked by 3 people

  26. Liz says:

    Side note, I’m always surprised that men don’t turtle at this behavior. The sex drive is very strong in males.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Yoda says:

    Liz makes much sense she does.
    The influence of the green hat this must be.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Yoda says:

    Heard of wives “rewriting history” I have.
    The odd thing is that believe it the teller did.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Yoda says:

    But there’s a lot of status to be acquired today by claiming abuse-by-male.

    A silly kind of status this would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. BuenaVista says:

    Liz, if by turtling you mean walking away, I do now. Men do not have a chance in a he-said she-said situation. The cops get brownie points for defending (situationally) neo-victorian innocent and vulnerable lasses.

    In this case it was the remark “people say you aren’t what you say you are” combined with “I can’t believe this is happening you’re older than my dad.” Both comments are true, actually, but that was my cue to get on the bike and go home.

    Because she was telling me what attracted her to me was what she would later punish. Maybe men punish what they desire, but I don’t know any men (not being in prison) who hate women and themselves this much.

    Liked by 2 people

  31. BuenaVista says:

    As an aviatrix, Liz knows eyewitness reports of aviation disasters are almost always wrong. Which is why they’re usually very unfair to the dead guy trying to save the aircraft.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. By turtle, I thought she meant something else, but I am not going to say what in case I am way off and would just embarrass myself (yet again!) lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. thedeti says:

    It’s funny.

    I’ve never once heard a divorced woman say something like this:

    “You know, I fucked him because he was hot. I was stupid and impulsive. I knew he was bad news the minute I laid eyes on him, but he was so damn hot I couldn’t help myself. He got me pregnant because I stupidly had sex with him. He ‘did the right thing’ and married me, but we treated each other like shit, and we got divorced. I really messed that up.”

    Or something like this:

    “My ex husband was and is a good man. I messed up our marriage big time by treating him like shit, not having sex with him, and cheating on him. I married him for the wrong reasons, and I treated him in ways he didn’t deserve. Now, because of my mistakes, he has to live with them, and so do our kids, for the rest of their lives. I wish I could go back and fix it, but I can’t. I wish I could make it up to him, but I can’t. It’s my fault our marriage failed.”

    Liked by 6 people

  34. Yoda says:

    Deti captures common situations well he does.
    Yet world blind to the truth they are.
    As if the Dark Side undue influence it has.

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Yoda says:

    I wasn’t friends with his wife but I guaran-damn-tee she was bitching to her friends for months, probably every single day for months, about him before she told him she wanted a divorce. She probably put in a thousand hours of talk in extraordinary detail as his every perceived flaw/behavior pattern/whatnot was hashed and rehashed until it took on a life of it’s own.

    Women do do this.
    Odd to men it would seem.
    Odd to women it should be?

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Liz says:

    “By turtle, I thought she meant something else…
    It was an anatomical reference, Bloom. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  37. Lol that’s what I thought Liz! Turtle up! Lol, no, not good. The things I learn here… 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  38. Cill says:

    Liz means reverse cowgirl, I reckon. Or maybe regular cowgirl. Or maybe something to do with pulling one’s head in. Or poking one’s head out. Or straddling Turtle-style (i.e. Dog with a bored-as-hell expression on one’s face). Or just plain bored (like the ones in the Galapagos, nothing looks more bored than a turtle).

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Yoda says:

    Turtles not so dynamic they are,

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I will let Liz explain… 😉

    Like

  41. Cill says:

    See how bored he is? Yawning his head off

    Looks like a mangina and a fembot at it, if you ask me.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    I think you need to maqrket the frigie helmets to uncertain young men. A good option would be an antenna that comes up when urgent advice is needed.

    After reading BV, it seems that men need a four year cours just to avoid the trqaps. It is beginning to sound ridiculous.

    After reading Deti, a women may say some of those things but only in confidence to a woman, never to a man.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Yoda says:

    After reading Deti, a women may say some of those things but only in confidence to a woman, never to a man.

    True this is?
    If so, convince herself of her lies she can?

    Liked by 1 person

  44. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    “Convince herself of her lies she can?”
    I think if Bloom told us how to get in touch with Jane the Witch, this could be confirmed.

    Cill,
    I don’t think that turtle is bored. Girl turtle is figuring out where to lay all the eggs.

    Like

  45. Oh no, girls lie to other girls worse! Men would never buy it!

    🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

    Liked by 2 people

  46. Spawny Get says:

    I’m not turtley convinced that there weren’t some tortoises in Cill’s video.

    Liked by 3 people

  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Blooom,
    Are you telling us that girls tell whoppers to other girls? Even knowing that they won’t buy into it?

    Like

  48. Spawny Get says:

    How does differentiating turtles from tortoises compare to telling stoats from weasels?

    Like

  49. Spawny Get says:

    The latter being weasily told apart because each is stoatily different from the other.

    Liked by 2 people

  50. Liz says:

    My sons just brought in a dead, skinned iguana and they want me to cook up the meat.
    I’m not sure I can, it’s just too weird to see those little lizardy legs. I told them this and they asked if it would help if they broke the leg bones so they don’t look like legs anymore.
    GAHAHAHA! (insert nauseous emoticon)

    Liked by 3 people

  51. Cill says:

    Stoat is smaller than Weasel. Ferret is more hairy, and trainable. I’ve never seen a trained Stoat or Weasel.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    This may be a one time experience. Iguana is not all that popular and that should tell you something. It may be wise to have a back up dinner.
    You definitely have sons and you are a good mother.

    Liked by 1 person

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Youtuber Sandman weighs in on man hating. I don’t think that he has all the answers.

    The scope of this must be huge. I do remember hearing the story about a crew of blind men trying to describe and elephant.

    Like

  54. Liz says:

    Lol! Thanks Fuzzie. Yes, they’re VERY boyish boys.

    If I could get over the aversion, and if it isn’t bad, this place is like ‘Home on the Range’ for iguana meat. But I don’t think I can get over the aversion…I’m not Asian enough for weird food (ducks away from Sumo and runs…).

    Liked by 1 person

  55. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    Maybe Sumo does have a recipe for you? Not that there are may iguanas in Cnanda. At a guess, it’ll be very lean but like chicken.

    Like

  56. Sumo says:

    Fuck that, I wouldn’t eat iguana either, unless it was a survival situation. I hear it tastes horrible.

    Also, I have concerns about the Lizardmen wanting to devour one of their own. That’s all kinds of disturbing.

    Liked by 4 people

  57. Cill says:

    New howler post is up.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I had another thought about iguanas. They have to be eating something and that something may be what you want less of in the enviornment.

    Like

  59. SFC Ton says:

    Iguana ain’t bad but easy to over cook

    Liked by 1 person

  60. SFC Ton says:

    To rift on what BV said

    Women are ruled by their vaginas to a much langer extent then men are ruled by our junk yet all of society is now set up to cover up that fact. Also, most men are part of the 80% so they never experience that play out in real life.

    Controlling abusive jerk is fem speak for icky beta or alpha I couldn’t keep depending on context.

    If men at large knew reality of female sexuality and behavior the experiment in feminism and female liberation would end in minutes so the FI is completely invested in keeping the secret

    I was out Monday and flirting with this random girl. Doing a good enough job of it the ladies on the wait staff were encouraging her to go home with me. When I said she isn’t my girl’s type a girl on the staff said she was everyone’s type

    There you go. Women in a nutshell. Pimping each other and themselves out to a much older man because he makes them tingle and laugh

    Like

  61. Tarnished says:

    In my own life, it was my father and stepfather who were/are the biggest liars. One still tries to keep in contact with me, and I keep it civil, but I’ve no trust in the man. He killed it when he told my law guardian numerous falsehoods in an effort to get full custody of me. It is what it is.

    On the other hand, I’ve known over a handful of women…some relatives, most not…who blatantly admitted they would tell any lie necessary to keep their children or obtain full/maximum custody. A few times I pointed out that this was incredibly disheartening to hear, especially as I’d expect at least a portion of the previous love for her ex to temper her actions.

    Each time, the answer was essentially the same:
    If we’re not together, the love is gone.

    I know the common ideology is that *men* are the ones who compartmentalize love/sex, but the more I learn about the differences between the majority of the sexes, the less I believe this. If anything, I think women beat men for this, hands down.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. Farm Boy says:

    What percentage of women are consciously lying?
    What percentage of women believe their own lies?

    Like

  63. Farm Boy says:

    Tarn,

    I have known a few “man-liers”, but they are well known as such.

    The “women-liers” always seem to have somebody/some institution covering for them

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Farm Boy says:

    know the common ideology is that *men* are the ones who compartmentalize love/sex

    Can you define compartmentalize?

    Like

  65. Tarnished says:

    Compartmentalize: (verb) to divide into sections or categories.
    “She had the ability to compartmentalize various aspects of her life.”

    I’m sure that’s true for most man-liars, though not the 2 I grew up with. Both of them were quite adept at hiding who they truly were, at least from anyone on the outside (to different extents). Most of my father’s friends were/are shocked I no longer wished to visit him, but they never saw him wrench a door off its hinges and throw it into the yard, then lie about it. Likewise, my stepfather portrayed himself as the perfect father/husband to the neighborhood, but once inside became a totally different person.

    I do think more women are good at this type of manipulation, though.

    Like

  66. Farm Boy says:

    I know the common ideology is that *men* are the ones who compartmentalize love/sex, but the more I learn about the differences between the majority of the sexes, the less I believe this. If anything, I think women beat men for this, hands down.

    Men can go to work and function even when there is trouble at home.
    Women often fall apart and commiserate with their frenemies all day about it.
    Who compartmetizes better?

    Liked by 3 people

  67. Farm Boy says:

    Hillary,

    http://www.city-journal.org/2015/eon0928mh.html

    When a politician speaks from a podium, hosts a town hall meeting, or presses the flesh, the goal is to have each member of the audience leave thinking the performance was delivered directly to him.

    Television screens, by contrast, are smaller, and demand a different type of performance. You don’t have to work so hard to get someone watching you on television to think that you’re talking directly to him. Close-ups reward subtlety, honesty, and true emotion. A camera is like an X-Ray machine. “[T]he camera looks into your mind, and the audience sees what the camera sees,” writes the actor Michael Caine in his book, Acting in Film. You can’t lie to a camera; it will expose you. Ronald Reagan understood this better than anyone.

    The good news for Hillary is that coming across as genuine on camera is a skill that can be taught. Of course, it helps if you have talent. It’s even better if you take the job seriously, which, according to Klein, she did not. “I decided I had enough with the camera and the recordings and the coaches,” Hillary allegedly said. “I got so angry I knocked the f- -king camera off its tripod.

    Like

  68. Tarnished says:

    True, but that wasn’t my argument. 😛
    Recall that I said:
    I know the common ideology is that *men* are the ones who compartmentalize love/sex, but the more I learn about the differences between the majority of the sexes, the less I believe this.

    Liked by 2 people

  69. Farm Boy says:

    War on men,

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2015/09/30/glenn-reynolds-catherine-lhamons-rape-title-ix-column/73019678/

    And, ever since the Department of Education issued a ”Dear Colleague” letter to universities in 2011, in essence ordering them to adopt new and draconian campus “sexual assault” rules that treat accusations as presumptively true and force the accused — almost always men — to prove their innocence, sometimes even very strong evidence of innocence is ignored.
    Spearheading this effort has been Assistant Secretary of Education for Civil Rights Catherine Lhamon, who has characterized the letter as binding on colleges and universities even though it is not a law, was not adopted as a formal or informal rule making after notice and comment under any law, and appears to have very little to do with the federal anti-discrimination law Title IX, which says only that “no person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving federal financial assistance.”

    Title IX was supposed to force colleges to admit women to programs formerly reserved for men. The law says nothing about sexual assault, sexual harassment, or the duty of universities to investigate criminal behavior on their own instead of referring crimes to law enforcement. But through a period of interpretation and reinterpretation, that simple statutory language has produced reams of federal paperwork that, in effect, turn a simple academic non-discrimination rule into a rape law that lacks the due process protections and evidentiary standards of actual rape law.

    Liked by 3 people

  70. I hate to admit it but at least in some cases Ton is right. For example this summer one of the brides who got married at my place not only had another boyfriend (maybe more!) on the side right up until the wedding! And not only that, she never told the boyfriend she was engaged or getting married! I told him when he came here talking about a trip he was going to take with her AFTER the wedding, where he was going to propose to her! I was blown away. Talk about compartmentalize bg. She’s somehow also convinced her husband (first boyfriend from high school, found her on Facebook) to buy her a house out here while he works and supports her from across the country. This gal has got to have a personality disorder of some type, you’d never suspect she was such a double triple life type. nobody told the groom. he was so in love w her, he wouldnt have believed it anyway. and she would have just said the boyfriend was lying bc he was jealous or something. It was shocking. I am not making this up!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Tarnished says:

    Precisely what I’m talking about, Bloom. Once knew a chick that had 3 boyfriends at the same time…none of them knew about the others. One was an older guy (her “daddy” figure), one was her provider (youngish, financially well off guy who enjoyed taking her on trips and buying her jewelry), and her bad boy (only wore leather, numerous tattoos, shaved head, piercings, crappy motorcycle, personality as deep as a puddle). It was just bizarre, how she was so able to keep these 3 lives separate and going on for years. She even had 2 phones, so it’d be less likely for calls/texts to accidentally get mixed up or inadvertently seen by the wrong partner!

    Yet she honestly believed that this triple life was absolutely acceptable, and that she loved every one of them equally. Last I heard, she was prowling for a 4th boy who’d be more of a “sweetheart” type her age. If this isn’t a clear example of compartmentalizing sex and/or love, I don’t know what is. And while this particular girl is the worst case I’ve encountered, she is certainly not the only one.

    This is why I think there’s a very distinct difference between women who have sex because they truly enjoy making them and their partners feel good VS the ones who see it as a tool for getting what they need to be “happy”.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Spawny Get says:

    “programs formerly reserved for men.”

    forgive me for calling bullshit on this wankfest of lies.

    Like

  73. Farm Boy says:

    Apparently many of us are doing it wrong,

    The other things that make someone a “modern man” are, apparently, simply behaving like a liberal, urban white woman (the actual target demographic of this piece), as in:

    25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
    26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

    27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

    Yes, crying and dancing and thinking guns are icky. That’s pretty much an exact description of Rooster Cogburn and Chuck Yaegher.

    This New York Times piece is pure hatebait — hatebait, because it’s written to be mocked, but linked each time it’s mocked.

    The Modern Man, it goes on to tell us, is obsequious to feminist demands:

    1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

    9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

    10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

    Watching this soft-handed sweetboy explain being a man to people is adorable. Sometimes he tries to butch up by talking super tough about trivial matters of eating :

    4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

    He has another burst of manful defiance in him — this time, about his precious cellphone:

    24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.
    Also, the modern man is apparently a prig and thinks military-derived slang is “gauche:”

    8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/359277.php

    Like

  74. BuenaVista says:

    Obviously Ton is correct. Miley Cyrus is a cultural icon, isn’t she? So, Blurred Lines are what the girls seek: a defensible, or at least ambiguous, transgression of sexual modesty.

    I was raised such that one didn’t sexualize any interaction with a woman — unless it was a profoundly serious, high potential relationship. (Admittedly this was a rural upbringing at the initial onset of the sexual, feminist revolution.) I mean, I didn’t even look directly at them. This handicapped me even after marriage, of course.

    Now, in peak research mode, I make such modest gestures as make eye contact, grin, and crack a joke or laugh at a girl’s pretension. At the moment I’m in the college library and just walked downstairs to get some coffee. I had three comebacks of one sort or another on that circuit (a reference librarian and two college girls). I don’t look my age, but I don’t look 27 either.

    Increasingly, I think the ‘rape culture’ moral panic is about women not getting enough attention from the men they want attention from, rather than getting too much attention from the men they do not. IOW, frustration (sexual attention deficit disorder) projected onto hapless men, desirable men, or men who just happened to be standing around. *There are no proudly chaste women in mainstream society.* Somebody is going to pay if some Mattress Girl gives it up but doesn’t lock him down.

    (These regret-sex rape allegations that we read about from all the campuses, what are they really? Well, they often occur when a girl realizes the boy she screwed has options, and/or exploits those options; a common thread is that they press their allegations much later when they see the boy with another girl. She takes the point of view that if she can’t have him, *no one else* can have him. N.B., this is how divorce will go if your ex- is an alpha widow: it will be nuclear, and there will be blood. Anyway, I think all the tales of victimization are wishful thinking: they are a construction, and then projected onto men and the community. The only victimization experience is that the romantic relationship proved not to be all-consuming, transcendental, with sufficient cash and prizes.)

    This is all fine, provided you can read their minds and distinguish which ones think you’re handsome, and which ones think you’re a creeper.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. BuenaVista says:

    F.B.: As far as being a Modern Man, I have gotten some mileage out of keeping a spreadsheet with such items as a girl’s bra and panty size, her immediate family’s birth dates and full names, her private, subtle tastes in wine and brown liquor, and maybe her favorite European fiction or some such. I usually try to write down all her friends names, but generally fail to remember them (they change every 3-5 years anyway). Beyond that, what the author is discussing is Lapdog Man, and Lapdog Man is not the stuff of female fantasy.

    Liked by 3 people

  76. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I don’t think that I want to be a modern man.

    My nightmare scenario for 2016 is that Hillary gets the nomination but loses in the general election by a whisker. The fembots will go crazy.

    That was an insightful article about Title IX. It seems to me that there are aenough legitimate grounds to sue brick and mortar colleges out of existance. That is, men suing.

    Bloom and Tarn,
    I would say that there are a lot of the two or three timing women around. Incomplete monkey branch swing?

    Tarn,
    I would like to know too how many have sex for fun and demonstrate affection and how may use it as a tool.
    That would be scary.

    Liked by 2 people

  77. BuenaVista says:

    Incidentally, Ace misspells Yeager.

    Like

  78. Spawny Get says:

    Farm Boy, daaaamn it seems in not destined to be modern guy. I fail on more points than you might imagine.

    Like

  79. Farm Boy says:

    author is discussing is Lapdog Man

    Perhaps Moe could teach him a thing or two

    Like

  80. Farm Boy says:

    Lapdog Man, the modern antithesis of Moehau Man.

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Farm Boy says:

    I don’t think that I want to be a modern man.

    Perhaps you should be happy being a bear.

    Liked by 1 person

  82. Farm Boy says:

    Hillary gets the nomination but loses in the general election by a whisker

    She has whiskers now?

    Liked by 1 person

  83. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that the language of the Kauri Club is universal.

    Farm Boy,
    I am still haunted by what Karen Straughan had to say about our society’s current attitude to men and other societies that turned to genocide.
    Fembots hate men with with apassion and it is pure and unrestrained by reason.

    Like

  84. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I can see Hillary in whiskers. For Halloween, wouldn’t she make a good cat?

    Like

  85. Farm Boy says:

    There is a new post

    Like

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