The Egalitarian Death Spiral


These days it is commonly understood that marriage is an egalitarian proposition.   Everything is equal, except that women can have babies.  And maybe the fella is expected to earn at least a bit more.  But other than than that, it is all even steven.  So how well is that approach working out?  Not so well, it would seem.

Many of these marriages enter into the Egalitarian Death Spiral (EDS).  It starts out with the fact that if both are equal, how will decisions be made?  Perhaps some complicated and confusing system can be worked out, but it will be just that – complicated and confusing.  Mistakes will be made, and frustrations will set in.  Maybe the rules will be revised, often adding more complication in an attempt to maintain the sense of egalitarianism.

Of course we all know that with a man and a woman, if it said that share the decision making, then she is really the one in charge (I dare anybody to come up with a counter example).  Because deep down, she wants the fella to be in charge, and if he isn’t, she feels compelled to take charge for her own security’s sake.

So attempting to patch things up to maintain this balance does not work in the long run.  It is like trying to push similar poles of magnets together; the harder one pushes, the more they try to shoot sideways.  Sometimes this all happens fast, and sometimes it happens slow (the death spiral), but for very many, it does happen.

So what to do?  Probably you all know.

How to educate and sell it?  That is a bigger question.

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Posted in FarmBoy, Feminism, Lies, Marriage
89 comments on “The Egalitarian Death Spiral
  1. Tarnished says:

    I want to comment about this, especially regarding how decisions are made, but as my relationship isn’t a marriage I’m unsure if it’s valid to the topic at hand.

    Like

  2. Tarnished says:

    Also, since the “gender roles” and stereotypical personality types of me and mine are the opposite of what is typical, it may not really be on topic at all. 😕

    Like

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    The only one of us who qualifies to speak on this matter from the standpoint of living in a sucessful relationship is Liz.
    This will be a short thread.
    I have to agree with Farm Boy. You go into it elegatarian and it devloves into femdom pretty fast. Could that be why I am a single boy bear?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yoda says:

    If one knows who is in charge not,
    Then the woman in charge she would be

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Yoda says:

    Trust in his decisions she can,
    When society states that all men doofii they are?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I think that, in your household, the lines are pretty clear. Mrs. Yoda has full authority over sandwiches and you have full authority over soup. That way, more food is made for the padawans.
    Where things intersect, I think Mrs. Yoda has long since learned to trust you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yoda says:

    Men educated they can be?
    No matter what she says,
    guy in charge she does desire.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    “Trust in his decisions she can?
    When all men doofui they are?”
    That is where modern culture has cut men off at their knees.
    What are modern men to do?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Tarnished says:

    The only one of us who qualifies to speak on this matter from the standpoint of living in a sucessful relationship is Liz.
    This will be a short thread.

    Yup. And we already know hers is not egalitarian.

    What are modern men to do?
    Not get married, and only deal with those who treat them humanely.

    If one knows who is in charge not,
    Then the woman in charge she would be.

    This makes it sound like the person “in charge” is necessarily needing to be the same in all circumstances/situations.I’ve no experience with this myself in any sort of living together arrangement, obviously, but I lead when I know more, he leads when he knows more. Isn’t that the point of being complementary to each other?

    Example: We took 2 trips together last year. One was to Las Vegas for 4 days, which I’d been to before so I made just about all the decisions…where to stay, what plays to see, what restaurants to eat at. I paid for it all, made the reservations, bought the tickets, etc. In this situation, it made a lot more sense for me to walk in front (sometimes quite literally) as it were.

    Now, we also took a full 15 hour trip to NYC. He works there from time to time, so he knows the layout much better than I. He chose our restaurants, the play we saw, and even took the initiative to buy our train tickets ahead of time. (Believe me, may sound like a little thing, but it’s *huge* coming from his ADHD addled brain. 😉) He was the one in charge for that trip…again, because it made so much more sense.

    I guess in my mind, leadership can be fluid according to the current needs of the relationship, and trying to put the pressure on one partner in every instance just seems like a good way to breed frustration and resentment. I know the last time I took a bit of the advice here and tried to let him be the “alpha”, he got confused, made a dinner reservation at a restaurant 3 towns away instead of the local one, canceled that one but then forgot to make another, and finally called me in a not-entirely-little panic asking for me to just please take over the decision making for that evening. We ended up just ordering Chinese and watching the newest episode of Once Upon A Time, lol. I love him to pieces, but he absolutely *hates* being responsible for planning much of anything. Luckily, it makes him rather cute somehow…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Liz says:

    Anecdote:
    Yesterday morning Mike called a FM (family meeting). The boys gathered ’round and he gave them a list of options for the day…boating, fishing, going to the shooting range, and so forth. They became cantankerous arguing about what they were going to do which eventually culminated in broody silence.
    From the expressions, you’d think Mike had told them to sell matchsticks on the street corner instead of a list of fun stuff they like to do.
    So I said, “Why don’t you just tell them what they’re going to do? That’s what you do with me and it works.”
    So, he told them what they were going to do.
    And we all had a great day and everything was right with the world.

    Liked by 5 people

  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    I apologize. I should have qualified that with “married” or “live in”.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Tarnished says:

    *grin* You apologize far too often, bear.

    Ha! Love your story, Liz.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Yoda says:

    I guess in my mind, leadership can be fluid according to the current needs of the relationship

    Confusing this would be?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Yoda says:

    Bears kings of the forest they are.
    Apologize little one think they would.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Yoda says:

    it made a lot more sense for me to walk in front (sometimes quite literally)

    In Vegas bumpers one does need.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sumo says:

    They became cantankerous arguing about what they were going to do which eventually culminated in broody silence.

    In SumoLand, the child who won the improv no-holds-barred deathmatch would get to choose the day’s activities.

    Liked by 5 people

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    Being on good terms with all the animals in the forest may inform a bear of where berry bushes are yielding and where fish are running.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Liz says:

    Tarn, “leading” doesn’t necessarily mean the leader makes all the decisions. Leaders delegate. I plan all of our trips, too. But I can’t imagine Mike calling me in a panic and asking me to take over the decision making. He might ask me to do something because I am more informed, have more time, and so forth…not because he is incapable or afraid to do it. I’m better at some things and obviously he has been gone a good portion of the time. There would be some serious practical limitations for our family if I were incapable of making any independent decisions. Mike once dated a girl who was so stupid she was practically catatonic. He had to tell her everything…and he didn’t like it at all.

    Liked by 4 people

  19. This is a tough one because almost nobody wants to admit its true, yet it just doesn’t work any other way. Yet as soon as one tries to put it into words, it sounds like some oppressive, controlling, abusive thing, although its anything but.

    Liked by 5 people

  20. Tarnished says:

    Confusing this would be?
    Nope. Not at all. Perhaps in the very beginning, before knowing each others strengths and weaknesses it can be. But after that, it’s extremely easygoing.

    Leaders delegate. I plan all of our trips, too. But I can’t imagine Mike calling me in a panic and asking me to take over the decision making.
    Lol. No, given everything you’ve said about him, that would certainly be strange and probably indicative of an issue.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Tarnished says:

    Note that I’m not saying Egalitarianism is superior to Traditionalism. It’s not. While it works better for some, it seems pretty obvious that most women would prefer a male leader in the relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Liz says:

    I think for most women (especially over time with a life partner), ambivalence and insecurity in leadership can be a real desire killer. I’m kind of a strong-minded person and it took me a long while to know this about myself. But with men (boys really) before Mike, I was the person who led (except the first asshole but he was far too much of an asshole, the reason I dumped him).

    Liked by 3 people

  23. Liz says:

    I think, also, masculine (“leadership”/”dominance”) traits are more likely to bring out the feminine aspects in women. I know my ex would not describe me as Mike would. Mike thinks I”m the most feminine chick ever….just last night we were talking about the next book I’m attempting and he asked how many pages I planned and I said…”I think, maybe 220…or 223. Something between 220 and 223.” He said, “You really have a lot of estrogen don’t you?” (he meant it very affectionately) By contrast, my ex might say I was a strong, independent type of person.

    Liked by 4 people

  24. Yoda says:

    Something between 220 and 223

    Pimpin’ Ma Hoe thus would be?

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Liz says:

    Lol! The artwork for Pimpin’ Ma Hoe is going to take more time than the writing.
    😛

    Liked by 4 people

  26. SFC Ton says:

    Egalitarian anything is counter to reality and destin to fail

    Like

  27. SFC Ton says:

    Bears are the king of wall and floor decorations.

    The king of the forest is whoever is holding a .45-70

    Like

  28. Yoda says:

    Being on good terms with all the animals in the forest may inform a bear of where berry bushes are yielding and where fish are running.

    Probably on good terms with the fish you are not.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Yoda says:

    it seems pretty obvious that most women would prefer a male leader in the relationship.

    Except admit this they can not

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Yoda says:

    “I am supposed to want this. But deep down I want that”

    Difficult to reconcile this is

    Liked by 1 person

  31. It can be difficult to reconcile if one is not introspective. Once I realized it about myself I now conciously refuse the lead. Probably the one area where I still struggle w this is when it comes to my biz but I can at least see it.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. It’s pretty freeing really not to be the lead. More women should try it!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. In Spawny’s prior post exploring this he does bring up some good points, including its a lot easier to follow a worthy lead. And the bit about pua/alphas is good too! https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2014/11/06/what-makes-more-couples-happy-and-the-war-on-women-dribble-failing-to-persuade/

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Tarnished says:

    Is it? I can agree with that in certain situations, like during specific types of sex or while in a new place that you’re unfamiliar with but your SO knows their way around.

    But in other aspects of life? It would drive me crazy. Absolutely up the wall. Probably too Type A, honestly. I enjoy taking the reigns, not being a passenger.

    What is it about not being in the lead that’s attractive to you, Bloom? Or Liz? Just curious, not judging. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Yoda says:

    Sexist it is,

    No, he takes that bright light and he shines it on the most urgent moral issues of our time –- issues that a lot of folks don’t know about, like how Poverty is Sexist, for example. How it is — it hits women and girls the hardest,” said the first lady.

    http://m.weeklystandard.com/blogs/michelle-obama-poverty-sexist_1036986.html

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Yoda says:

    Morphing into Hillary Mrs. Obama is.

    Women always most hard hit they are.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Yoda says:

    it hits women and girls the hardest,” said the first lady.

    Apparently hits boys less it does.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Yoda says:

    Speak of egalitarian in the White House one might.
    Wonder what the dynamic there is.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Tarn I can probably explain it more as an example. So a few weeks ago I spent a day helping Red climb out of some messes he’s gotten into, or his wife has somewhat trapped him in, over the past year. Petty stuff like getting pulled over for expired tags, losing his license bc of back child support, an unpaid traffic ticket, just dumb stuff he’s been avoiding/ignoring/unable to wrap up and it was just getting worse for avoiding it. Silly stuff but the fines were piling up and he was at risk of getting tossed in the clink bc of it. Anyway at first we started going down the list and it was fine. But as the day wore on and he started to resist getting everything done that needed done and I had to pretty much flog him into taking it all the way to the goal, for his own same, I started to feel like his mother. Red is an attractive guy, but I found myself so annoyed at him that his charm was completely gone, and he’s quite charming with all women. I could see why his wife may have lost attraction to him, not that I am advocating it was right. But it was like “grow the f up, really!?!?!” Ick. I could not be with a man like that. I am a very strong woman, stronger than I want to be. So it’s not about me not being able, I guess it’s about not wanting to. Especially w kids, it was different before then. And over the past few years I have HAD to be this amazon holding it all together and I don’t like it. I swear at this point I could be perfectly happy handing the whole thing off to a strong man, stringer and more capable than myself which is hard to find, no offense to any here I mean irl, and not worry one lick about any of it any further. Then I can go back to being feminine, a woman, la la la… 😉 I am not sure if that makes any sense. It may also be an age thing, you’ll see it more in a few years Tarn. Or maybe not. But like you say you are wired pretty different so individual results may vary. I would say most women will try to dominate their man, then be repulsed by him if he allows it. I don’t know why, it just is what it is.

    Liked by 3 people

  40. * His own sake, stronger

    When I say Red is attractive I mean that objectively. We’re just friends. But women fawn over him, and he is charming. Probably a natural. A natural who doesn’t understand all this, so while he may initially feel a gal in w his looks, she’ll be browbeating him in no time if he doesn’t clue into this dynamic.

    Liked by 3 people

  41. Tarnished says:

    It may also be an age thing, you’ll see it more in a few years Tarn. Or maybe not. But like you say you are wired pretty different so individual results may vary.
    Lol. It’s very likely not. I’m 31, and while that’s not old, it’s certainly not the same as being 16…if my personality changed *that* drastically, it would be a cause for great alarm regarding my mental health. People of both sexes have “assured” me since I was 15 that one day I’ll want kids…one day I’ll want to be pregnant…one day I’ll find my inner femininity. If I still don’t 16 years later, it’s a fairly good bet it won’t ever happen without being, I don’t know, brainwashed or something. 😛

    I would say most women will try to dominate their man, then be repulsed by him if he allows it.
    Yuck. No. In the bedroom, a bit of dominating is spectacular. I’d *never* want to dominate anyone in daily life. That’s just…tyrannical. So unnecessary, and not conducive to being comforting or loving.

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Agreed, playing w power in bed is fun, browbeating not fun.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Yoda says:

    Confusing this would be?

    Nope. Not at all. Perhaps in the very beginning, before knowing each others strengths and weaknesses it can be. But after that, it’s extremely easygoing.

    Atypical this would be.
    Most couples would operate this way not.
    And not know why they do what they do.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Tarnished says:

    Most couples would operate this way not.
    And not know why they do what they do.

    Perhaps they should strive to be more like us here, and try for some introspection.

    Agreed, playing w power in bed is fun, browbeating not fun.
    Ah, browbeating! Yes, that’s the word. Ugh…so counterproductive. Seen couples like this before numerous times. Just creates a horrendous cycle of angst and finger pointing. Constant bickering, accusations.

    Not good, my friends. Not good.

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Yoda says:

    It can be difficult to reconcile if one is not introspective

    Introspection good it would be
    What I teach Padawans it is

    Liked by 1 person

  46. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    “Morphing into Hillary Mrs. Obamam is.”
    That did get me to thinking. There hasn’t beem a boy living in the White House since Jack Kennedy was President. I can’t help but think that that is really odd.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Liz says:

    “What is it about not being in the lead that’s attractive to you, Bloom? Or Liz? Just curious, not judging.”

    I’m not sure I can explain why something is attractive or unattractive to me, Tarn. It just is. Probably rooted in biology.
    There’s just something ‘hot’ about Mike saying, “It’ll be okay”, “I’ve got this”, “Here’s what you should do..” and so forth.
    By contrast, “What do you want me to do?”, “Please tell me what to do!”, “Please be gentle with me and offer me guidance..” aren’t so much.

    Liked by 2 people

  48. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    Don’t press Red too hard. Jane the Witch has done a number on his self confidence and purpose for existance. You made progress. Pick it up another day.
    There is a reason that suicide rates skyrocket in men following divorce.

    Liked by 2 people

  49. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    Large problem with credibility Hillary has.
    Insoluable, I think.

    Like

  50. Yoda says:

    Remember “gamers dead” articles you do?
    Coordinated they did appear.

    Like

  51. @ fuzzie, I am gentle on Red, I get he’s been through a lot and I am sensitive to that. We had to do the whole list that day so he could get his license back, plus avoid getting locked up. He works at an auto body repair shop and his job was at risk w/o the license. He wanted to stop short of the goal but somehow I could just “feel” we couldn’t. Sure enough Jane had her cop buddy pull him over on his way out of town. Thank God I didn’t let him drop the ball, or it would have been another ticket, more fines, more trouble. Instead he handed the cop his license and was given a warning to slow down (he was going 46 in a 40.) he thanked me for pushing him so after that!

    Liked by 3 people

  52. Tarnished says:

    Fair enough, Liz (and Bloom!). It does sound like it is at least somewhat biological, link to either sex-specific or personality type genetics. Maybe a combination thereof…

    Liked by 1 person

  53. Liz says:

    I think it’s very biological, Tarn. Not just “somewhat”.

    Here is a further illustration. There is a guy who worked for Mike, and Mike didn’t like him. But Mike wasn’t the only one who didn’t like him. The women hated this guy most of all. Interestingly enough, (male) homosexuals hated him next most.

    Mike offered an example. The guy explained a long story about how the property manager at his apartment had done something really awful and ended the story with, “I’m thinking of writing him an angry letter”. It was seriously something out of Southpark. I would have confronted this property manager myself in his position, in person. But the guy was so docile he was angry enough to tell everyone at work what a douchbag the property manager was, but couldn’t gather the stones to confront this stupid bastard in person, but maybe, just maybe, he might write an angry letter.
    That guy should be a biological dead end.

    Liked by 2 people

  54. @ fuzzie a lot of my friendship w Red revolves around modeling how a woman should treat him, as a way to try and help build him back up. So I will flirt w him, make a fuss, point out what he’s doing right, put a note on the fridge at his new apartment that he’s a rock star, stuff like that. That day I was literally biting my tongue not to browbeat him, and I made sure I didn’t, but boy I was tempted! :/ see, even I am at risk of behaving that way, it’s kindof how women are wired unless they conciously don’t. It’s hard to explain… But again a big part of why so many manosphere sites teach men how to avoid such behaviors that can bring out the worst in women, unfortunately.

    Liked by 4 people

  55. Spawny Get says:

    In Spawny’s prior post exploring this he does bring up some good points, including its a lot easier to follow a worthy lead. And the bit about pua/alphas is good too! https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2014/11/06/what-makes-more-couples-happy-and-the-war-on-women-dribble-failing-to-persuade/

    Who is this genius what you talk about? Whattaguy

    Liked by 3 people

  56. Spawny Get says:

    “Large problem with credibility Hillary has.”

    I can’t believe she’s not in gaol…

    Liked by 2 people

  57. Tarnished says:

    Liz
    Yeah. I mean, there’s a possibility he just has very severe social anxiety brought on by direct confrontation…but doesn’t quite sound like this is the case. Sounds like he’s just lame.

    Bloom,
    Remember though, that there’s a huge difference between giving someone a much needed kick in the ass so they don’t fall deeper down a hole VS browbeating someone when it’s blatant that their doing their best. One is a much required part of reality (what you did), the other is berating due to not living up to unrealistic standards.

    It’s a good thing Red has a friend like you!

    Liked by 2 people

  58. A man who needs babysitting or a woman prodding him is displaying anti-game. It’s the half of the equation he can control, or not.

    Liked by 3 people

  59. Tarnished says:

    Aka a friend who lights the requisite fire under him without giving him extra grief.

    Liked by 2 people

  60. Spawny Get says:

    Things wot Bloom might want to consider…
    1) the business (and house) are resources that she brings to the marriage table. A reason for me thinking that a Mr Bloom is not out of the question…though if you want one…work for it…now…none of this ‘the Lord will provide’…DO IT
    2) running the business herself demonstrates a maturity and judgement. (don’t be in a rush to hand over running it. maybe just describe it as your hobby business that you enjoy running (and downplay that it in fact pays for yourself and kidlets) ). It’s not an accident that the company is working.
    3) be aware that running the business yourself might make you seem not to need a man. Consider how you sell it in conversation.
    4) being a competent woman is not a bad thing at all (I would value it) just make sure not to appear to be a SIW (in the feminist BS sense). Competent and feminine, valuing masculinity

    Liked by 3 people

  61. Spawny Get says:

    ” there’s a huge difference between giving someone a much needed kick in the ass so they don’t fall deeper down a hole VS browbeating someone when it’s blatant that their doing their best. One is a much required part of reality (what you did), the other is berating due to not living up to unrealistic standards. ”

    Indeedily doodily

    A vast chasm of difference.

    I don’t know if there’s a ‘merican equivalent but in the films of the fifties and sixties the role of Matron (responsible for running a ward. including running the nurses) was a respected role. The direction of the medical treatment fell to the surgeons and doctors, but she definitely had a powerful role in delivering a safe, effective health care experience.

    She wasn’t a dog’s body, she had power in her own right. Her use of it was respected by everyone.

    Like

  62. Spawny Get says:

    “Who is this genius what you talk about? Whattaguy”

    A shining wit.

    Liked by 2 people

  63. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    Ok, I’ll relent and say that it was good that you got all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed. That Jane the Witch has the local police as allies is a sreious concern. They could make his life a misery and no one could be the wiser. I am thinking that he did not move far enough away.

    Like

  64. I was maybe being a tad dramatic in saying I want to completely jettison the biz into the hands of a Mr. Bloom. 😉 some days it’s a tempting thought but I truly enjoy what I do and I am good at it. The pressure of being one person doing everything is not so fun. Exhausting, really. That’s the grind part…

    Liked by 3 people

  65. @ fuzzie Jane is a social darling of sorts, a hand in every pot, very tied into the small town scene. The expired tags ticket was this same officer. He also followed Red for several blocks but didnt pull him over last week. Red has to come to town to pick up and drop off kids but otherwise he’s out of her reach where he lives/works now. She’s scary that one, determined to set him up to fail it seems, so she can then innocently exclaim, “see why I HAD to leave him?” She’s not nice, not nice at all. But she sure looks and acts so harmless. A lot of folks buy it too, sadly.

    Like

  66. Reid’s kids really like me, which I am sure jane doesn’t like. When Red picked them up on Friday he was asking his daughter did she want to go to the apartment? She said, as her mom was buckling her seatbelt, “no dad, I want to go to Blooms!” Oops. It’s because I can do cartwheels, will dance and be silly, and I have soda pop and snacks in the barn. The kids can run and play and explore here. It’s safe. On Friday night she discovered that I can spin her around off the ground while dancing, she sure loves that! Lol. The boy tags along w me too, and tells me about video games and pretends things are guns and I joke I am going to hire him as my security. They are good kids.

    Like

  67. Yoda says:

    Milo,

    Outlets such as Polygon and Kotaku, who ought to have been all over this story, have largely ignored it because even they realise the sheer bone-headedness of what their feminist heroes are now proposing and how much ridicule it would expose them to with their own readers.

    Anita Sarkeesian complained to the UN, hilariously, that people on the internet were saying to her: “You suck.” Somehow this phrase contributes to her “harassment,” apparently. I can only speak for myself: normally when I’m on the receiving end of those words, they’re a precursor to a fun couple of hours with a throbbing African appendage. But even if her critics were being mean, I think women can take to Twitter with confidence if that’s really the worst example that gaming’s leading critic of “toxic masculinity” can produce.

    Allegra Frank in Polygon offered up one supportive report that made all the same mistakes as the others. That’s the way it works, you see: when someone you’ve spent a year backing to the hilt turns out to be a total fruitloop, just go quiet and hope nobody notices. Or double down anyway. Oy vey.

    I was called to task for being arrogant (if you can believe that) for saying, “Just do the work!” at a Society of Professional Journalists conference this year, but, frankly… I was right, wasn’t I? And this is what happens when you don’t. Makes you wonder what else the media has been wrong about this past year, doesn’t it?

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/09/26/am-i-the-last-responsible-tech-journalist-left-on-the-planet/

    Liked by 1 person

  68. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    I can see why the kids want to go to your house.
    About Jane, it may take a while but, the truth will out.
    The cop behind the harrassment is in Jane’s town, not Red’s?
    I have the feeling that time will heal Red. Have faith.

    Like

  69. Yes Fuzzie the cop is in Jane’s town. I agree, Red is on his way toward a better day, I get that he’s been married to a narccist for ten years, he’s used to losing. I think that’s a big part of it, learned helplessness. But he’s realizing he doesn’t have to lose anymore.

    Like

  70. Spawny I have been asked not to discuss my love life too much but I have met someone (not Red) and talks are underway. 🙂 shhhhhhh

    Liked by 1 person

  71. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I don’t remember the “gamers dead” articles but, it would not surprise me. Collusion is what they do. It’s more social than independent thought.

    Spawny Get,
    Hmm…. A current candidate fro President in jail? That is a thought. My grandmother always liked Jon C. Breckenridge. She said that he could have kept the country together. He ended up serving as a general in the Confederate Army.
    I would have more confidence in him than Hillary.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Yoda says:

    Fuzzie Bear,

    Gamers Are Dead is the name given to a collection of articles critical of gamers. These articles were published within the same time period from August 28, 2014 through early September. Each of these articles echoed a narrative; that the “gamer” identity or culture was dead. These articles heavily implied the “gamer” identity had been killed by sexism and misogyny. The articles which inspired the most backlash were from gaming websites themselves for their implication of a dismissive attitude towards these publications’ primary audience. It is suspected by many that, due to the timing of these articles, both in the quick succession of which they were released and in the midst of an unresolved scandal, the articles were an act of collusion. Their impact caused the GamerGate consumer revolt to become much larger and more determined in its effort to expose impropriety in gaming journalism.

    http://tlknighton.com/?p=7027

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Yoda says:

    I get that he’s been married to a narccist for ten years, he’s used to losing. I think that’s a big part of it, learned helplessness. But he’s realizing he doesn’t have to lose anymore.

    Probably much truth in this there is.

    Like

  74. SFC Ton says:

    People, most especially women and kids want/ crave strong leadership.

    That’s human nature. Want a woman to feel loved? Rule over her. She’ll be wet and feel protected. I make girls sit on the floor, at my feet. They cover up with a mini blanket, curl into me and.just relax, be smile etc.

    There are Very few expectations to the rules

    Want to know why Trump is doing well in the polls? Alpha leadership on display. Its what folks desire

    Liked by 2 people

  75. Cill says:

    Had to call on your scintillating wit re the rugger, Spawny me old mate? 😉

    Like

  76. Spawny Get says:

    Woman fails to blame her part of a paedophile ring on a man shocker
    http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/sep/28/norwich-paedophile-ring-marie-black-jailed-life

    They usually manage to put their crimes on Svengali type men who lead them astray…not this time

    Like

  77. Spawny Get says:

    No rugby to be seen here, Cill…though don’t move along now.

    How’s tricks? Back home? What time is it where you are?

    Liked by 1 person

  78. Cill says:

    Yep, back home. Going well. The time here is 10:41 a.m.

    Daylight savings started last Sunday here. Until then we were 11 hours ahead of you. Now we are 12 hours ahead, until your daylight savings ends, when we will be 13 hours ahead.

    FWIW I think England played better rugby than Wales for most of that game. It’s a strange thing, but in World Cup games the best rugby does not often win.

    Like

  79. Spawny Get says:

    As a non-expert, my impression was that ‘we’ played better rugby but gave away too many penalties…and the kickers were lethal on both sides.

    I’d have liked to have seen how far we got…that may not be very much furtherer. No personal biggy, but a disappointment.

    Like

  80. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    They do like to gang up. That they are all saying the same thing is kind of a giveaway. They are getting a lot of practice on Twitter.

    Spawny Get,
    I have noticed a recent push to “liberalize” attitudes to paedophilia. Do you think it’s because a lot of women are involved and that they will be prosecuted? It does seem as if every week there is a new instance of this female on male coming to light and prosecuters have lost patience.

    Cill,
    Wecome back. You were misssed.

    Liked by 1 person

  81. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny,
    To add to that. Less than twenty years ago, when it was seen that only men were paedophiles, the attitude was to lock them up and throw away the key. Now that women are being prosecuted, there are calls for mercy.
    Coincicdence?

    Like

  82. Spawny Get says:

    Might be part of it Fuzzie.

    Sure was unusual seeing a female convicted and heavily sentenced for paedophile crimes. She did her best to do the blameshifting dance. My impression is that judges usually lap it up.

    Like

  83. Cill says:

    Yes, too many penalties. It’s unfortunate that at world cup time the referees decide to change their application of the rules. They’re asking for the TMO replays far too often and are too strict on the rules.

    England, Wales and Ireland all have good goal kickers. Owen Farrell is the best I’ve seen for years.

    England is not out of it yet. In 2011 France was beaten twice (by Tonga and NZ) before making it to the final. The game against Australia won’t be easy, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawnt Get,
    I am going to make a complete guess and say that there aren’t that many male perpetrators anymore. They have to know that their lives are over if they are imprisoned and put in with the rest of them.

    Like

  85. Spawny Get says:

    The establishment seems very keen to keep all investigations lead by incompetent, bought out by high wages to keep things spun out into years, imports whose records are not reported…looking into historical cases. Investigations into modern powerful figures…not so much. Dead historical figures are ideal.

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Spawny Get says:

    Time for my beauty sleep. Good night. Good to see you back, Cill.

    Liked by 4 people

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