A popular activity recommended to enhance a couple’s relationship is the date night. It is supposed to be a night when said couple acts as they did while they dated prior to snapping on the marital cuffs. But in my case, had my dates been like the ones I experience on date night, there wouldn’t have ever been a marriage.
Date night is the time when I can be chided and reprimanded for my flagrant violations of overtly imposed and inferred behavioral standards. It doesn’t matter where I take Mrs B., or if I just might have plans for later. I am to be tied to the whipping post. No reduction in sentence for good intentions.
Sometimes I feel like I’m dying
In between verbal jibes, she is texting the kids about whatever is going on in their lives. I don’t get a word in edgewise.
This is fun? This is what a date is supposed to be? This is how a couple shows love for each other? That they enjoy each other’s company?
No date I’d ever had -and I didn’t have that many in my life- would ever have been followed by a second under these conditions. But because I made the mistake of matrimony, I can’t refuse to go along with the pretense that date nights are a fun event. I am expected to “take it like a man” for the good of my relationship. It’s how I show I’m “invested”.
Recall that I’d recently reported that I’d gotten in trouble over a minor faux pas? And that I was slammed up against something I’d done many years ago? There is nothing in The Rules that says there can’t be a reprise! If a transgression is good enough to bring up once, it is good enough to be used again and again. And it will be. Count on it!
Recall also that I described how I deal with such things. I remain on the sideline of the intended bout, in a sense borrowing Muhammad Ali’s “rope a dope” strategy. I invest no ego, nor any anger, and the haymakers launched my way bounce harmlessly off the ropes. The fight is almost over before the ref can count ten. It’s the only way to deal with such an assault and walk away unharmed.
There is no way to know if -more likely when- a rematch will erupt. No man ever truly and successfully completes a victory against a woman, especially not against a woman who claims to love him. She puts horseshoes in her gloves, stomps his feet with spike heels, kicks him in the shins, and attacks from outside his vision. And once he’s battered senseless, she will wait until his guard is down to land the knockout blow, and smiles while doing it.
His guard will be down on a date. He’s trying to put forward his best persona, one which appeals to a woman. Instead, like Miles Archer in The Maltese Falcon, he’s actually enticed into range for a certain kill shot. It is the strategy taken to ensure victory – HER victory. The only win which matters.