Recovering From Frivorce — Part II


In frivorces, one of the first activities of many men is to consider what could I have done better, or how might I have prevented this?  These are good questions to ask.  Introspection is good.  But in true frivorces, the answer is pretty much nothing.

Often the train to divorce is rolling down the tracks, the fella senses that she is having issues with him (often for some nebulous unknowable reason); and because he is too close to the situation, he cannot see the forest through the trees. The man may try many things to improve the situation, things like more supplication, more gifts, more this or that; but nothing works.

And what are the nebulous unknowable reasons?  They could be a combination of many things.  They are unknowable typically because she does not want to admit to what they are, for to do so would be embarrassing.  Reasons include selfishness on her part, lack of tingles generated, his lack of leading in an egalitarian relationship, society indulged cray-cray rearing its ugly head, etc.  Since it is often accepted that women are morally superior, they surely cannot have any of these properties, so they don’t.

The issues remain hidden.  The divorce train picks up speed, then it totally derails.  Is this what happened to you?  If so, understand that in the blue-pill world that you undoubtedly lived in had no solutions for you; a true Kobayashi Maru situation.

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Posted in FarmBoy, Lies, Marriage
74 comments on “Recovering From Frivorce — Part II
  1. BuenaVista says:

    Actually, I would disagree. A blue pill man being divorced isn’t going to be spending time figuring out what he did wrong. If he was a loyal and hardworking man, within his limitations, he didn’t — according to marriage vows and scripture — do anything wrong. So he’s dealing with more elemental issues, during the divorce, such as “Am I already dead and in Hell?” “Am I crazy?” “Am I ever going to belong to society again?” Little stuff like that.

    Later, after he realizes what has happened, he’ll spend time on “try harder next time” or “why bother?” or “Yes, C.S. Lewis got it right in The Great Divorce.”

    Oh, also, the full impact of parental alienation doesn’t hit until the children are grown. Once they no longer need money to survive, their true feelings emerge, which are largely in the category of “Who is this guy who says he’s my father and why is he here?”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yoda says:

    Ignorance bliss it would be?

    Like

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is a heavyweight subject. Allow me to lighten the mood with my favorite Star Trek cip.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Spawny Get says:

    “Ignorance bliss it would be?”

    It seems not. Feminists have pretty much cornered the market for ignorance, never seen a happy one. Let alone a blissful one

    Liked by 1 person

  5. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    “Ignorance bliss it would be?”
    You know better. George Orwell didn’t write that for it to be accepted on its face.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    Speaking of the fembots, wasn’t one of their goals to kill marriage back in the second wave? With frivorce as common as it is, I dare say they have. Men can’t confidently marry.
    I can see why, in Biblical times, only men could initiate divorce.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    As to how common it is, it blows me away that nearly all the men in Farm Boy’s work group have been frivorced.
    It used to be that “homewrecker” was a bad word. It has fallen out of use because Mommy is her own homewrecker.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Farm Boy says:

    On my team, of the 6 guys who have married, 5 have been frivorced. And there are a couple real doozies in there also.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Farm Boy says:

    A Patriarch Sighting. It is like seeing Big Red at Dalrock’s

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Farm Boy says:

    It used to be that “homewrecker” was a bad word. It has fallen out of use because Mommy is her own homewrecker.

    How crazy is this?

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Cill says:

    The “nebulous unknowable reasons” can include the hatred feminism brings into the female mind.

    Liked by 6 people

  12. SFC Ton says:

    Astute observation Fuzzie

    Liked by 2 people

  13. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    It’s as if women are deliberately cutting their own throats. On an individual basis, what man would want to marry a woman who frivorced her previous husband? Collectively, they are makingthe men back away. If they expect Big Daddy Government to step in, it can’t happen if the productive segment of society is disincentivized.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. SFC Ton says:

    The best way to get past a frivorce is the best way to.get over any girl

    Dump that bitch, bang 10 more.

    The best way to get the frivorcing woman back is to dump that bitch and bang 10 more

    Most problems in life have the same basic answers

    Like

  15. Farm Boy says:

    “Mommy is Her Own Homewrecker”
    A Children’s Book For the Modern Age
    Written By Liz
    Author of “Pimpin’ Ma Hoe”

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Tarnished says:

    It’s even scarier when one is a female and actually hears, first hand, what other women admit to doing/being willing to do during a divorce.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Farm Boy says:

    what other women admit to doing/being willing to do during a divorce.

    Don’t worrry. That is coming up soon

    Liked by 1 person

  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I don’t think that Liz would like to write a book with that title. Unless it can be written to shame the homewreckers.

    Tarn
    Being a girl, they are going to take you into their confidence. I have no doubt that you are shocked. What they don’t realie is that it does get back to single men.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Mrs. Yoda says:

    I don’t think that Liz would like to write a book with that title. Unless it can be written to shame the homewreckers.

    Write the book I will.
    Shame strong it will be

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Tarnished says:

    Fuzzie,

    https://tarnishedsophia.wordpress.com/2014/02/18/on-being-an-unintentional-spy/

    The best part is that this post was featured on a gender-critical/denial radfem subreddit. Though only 1 of them posted an actual comment (and then never returned to continue the conversation), they were all quite snarky and enjoyed insinuating that I must be a miserable self hating misogynist to write such things. Also, that I hate my vagina and can’t comprehend that men and women might share interests…Obviously both accusations are untrue.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Mrs. Yoda,
    Should you write a book Shaming the frivocees, will they read it? If they won’t how will they learn?

    Like

  22. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    Thanks for the link. If I were in your shoes, I would try to find any excuse to avoid these hen parties. I think that the reason that they trash talk their men is to build themselves up. It doesn’t work. What they are doing is fostering resentment.
    “He gets sex twice a month. I don’t know what else to do>” OMG

    Liked by 1 person

  23. molly says:

    For Fuzzie who is in pain

    Liked by 1 person

  24. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    Dancing Ham and Swiss sandwiches and one for each paw!
    🌯 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  25. molly says:

    Fuzzie I like
    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄

    Dancing sammies don’t stop! Help!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I went to Google Chrome and saw them! Wonderful! Again, one for each paw. So you know, the reason I limit you to three was because, when you were an Orca, that would give one for the dorsal fin and one each for the ventral fins. 🌯 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  27. molly says:

    It’s 5:40 p.m.here. I’m going out to the shops. It’s time you sleep Fuzzie. Sleep sound Fuzzie Dubya Bear.
    zzzzzzz 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I will and hope to dream of happy bear things. May you dream of happy Furby things in your turn

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Actually from what I have seen, a branch swing is often the cause, or excuse maybe, for a frivorce. It puzzles me how a man cannot see what happened to the last guy? I guess I am thinking of Red here, his ex’s new guy surely has seen the destruction she’s wrought on Red, yet he steps up. Why? Does the branch swing candidate not see he himself could be next?

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Yoda says:

    Actually from what I have seen, a branch swing is often the cause, or excuse maybe, for a frivorce.

    Use as excuse modern women do?
    Brazen they would be.

    Like

  31. Yoda says:

    Does the branch swing candidate not see he himself could be next?

    A rational man yes he would.
    But men are often rational not.
    The thirst there would be.

    Like

  32. SFC Ton says:

    Everyone thinks they are special Bloom and it won’t happen to them

    That also applies to most of life. Sally has a phd in art history of the doorknob period and cannot find work but hey Suzie is special so it will be ok for her. Apply that to men in whatever situation…. same same, world without end, amen

    Liked by 3 people

  33. BuenaVista says:

    Actually, I think Bloom inverts the process of husband elimination. First there’s a vague feeling of boredom or dissatisfaction — or some reasonable negative reaction to something the husband did. Then there are more “feelings”, and “feelings”, and social reinforcement from other women who have the same “feelings” or even the mother, if she herself had “feelings” and divorced the girl’s dad.

    Now, recovered memories. Ah, yes. All divorced husbands are a) emotionally remote; b) abusive in some way; c) carrying emotional or substance-related issues.

    Then, revenge fuck with a neighbor, stranger, doesn’t matter. So empowering!

    Finally, some tactical branch swinging.

    My point is that women don’t wake up and decide Johnny-Across-the-Street with the new 911 is a better candidate for lifelong indentured fucktoy. Rather they are “sad” and “unfulfilled” and “abused” or “sexually unfulfilled” for a while first. Then the protocol of family termination begins, such that her EPL delusion is in fact a spiritual renewal.

    This is why the odds on second marriages are even worse than those on the first. People who operate this way have the emotional maturity of 8 year-olds. And anything done a few times is a habit, not a choice.

    Liked by 4 people

  34. BuenaVista says:

    Ton, reflecting on biblical humility, yes.

    I’m helping some farmer friends paint their hog barns and feedgrain bins this month. It’s rather a large job (7000 head, 10 grain bins), gets me outside, I get to wear bibs, and the single moms working at the convenience store check me out. (Seriously: you want attention? Show up in work clothes and no wedding ring at a rural convenience store.)

    Anyway, do we wish to reflect on the pretty perfection and value of individual humans? Spend all day witnessing and listening to thousands of happy pigs, gorging themselves nonstop in a carefully climate-controlled barn the size of a football field. In five months the boys go from weaned pig to slaughtered 300 pound hog. They figure out what’s happening while being unloaded at the Tyson slaughterhouse, and hear the screams from the killing chute a few feet ahead of them. Too late. None of us is special, none of us is unique.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. SFC Ton says:

    LOL Damon BV you can hammer a point home a paint a vivid imagine with words.

    Like

  36. Bv true the branch swing comes later In the process, the unhaaaaapy period comes first. This is true.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. BuenaVista says:

    The reason I reacted, Bloom, is I’ve heard too many times that “It just happened!”. This calls to mind the well-quoted Nicholson line: “How do I write so well about women? Simple, I just pretend she’s a man, and remove logic and accountability.”

    Branch swinging is very tactical, random acts of revenge-fucks are not. The latter are just sensation-seeking entertainments for the underemployed.

    I think you’ll find that branch swinging is very quickly attuned to resource acquisition. I’m not denying that a woman can fall in love with a man not her husband, but how many times have we seen a woman leave her husband for a man with reduced financial resources?

    Men don’t branch swing; men are the branch. The guy you’re talking about is just a temp for a woman in full-Jane mode.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. It’s true bv, the “unhaaaaapy” phase is the justification to start the frivorce rolling, plus or minus some sex on the side but you are also very correct, the branch swing occurs when a hypergamous target is identified. Red’s replacement is a computer/IT guy, white collar.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. How can you guys be so darn witty and clever and yet so dark at the same time? You’re a bunch of sick bastards but I love ya! Mwah! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Red update: since cutting off all flows of information to his ex, she’s now blowing up his phone with texts demanding to know who/what/when/where/why? She’s now regretting denying him visitation because “she needs a break.” He’s now read the divorce/parenting agreement and realized much of what she was saying he had to do is not in there, so he’s now going strictly by that. She’s unhaaaaapy. Boo hoo.

    Liked by 3 people

  41. Yoda says:

    Red wising up he is.
    No longer a babe in the woods he would be.
    Good job this is.

    Liked by 4 people

  42. Liz says:

    “How can you guys be so darn witty and clever and yet so dark at the same time?”

    Because they are guys. 😛
    Women “share”, men come up with solutions and say really clever shit.
    (generality alert, but it’s true in general)

    Liked by 4 people

  43. Mrs. Yoda says:

    Yoda much more clever than I he is.
    But my own strengths I do have.

    Liked by 3 people

  44. BuenaVista says:

    Clarity in regard to reality is not “darkness.”

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Point taken bv, love you all just the same!

    Like

  46. Tarnished says:

    True, Liz.
    It’s interesting listening to a conversation between my friends and I, as a good 70% of it is just a series of snappy comebacks, puns, or sardonic one liners. It just doesn’t always translate well online, unfortunately.

    Oh, and songs.
    We’ll say the lyrics to songs instead of singing them, in the context of whatever topic came up.

    Example:
    My love is bobbing his head to a song he’s singing in his mind while we are waiting for our drinks in a restaurant. I watch him for a bit before declaring him a lunatic. Without missing a beat, he says “but it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.”

    Then I say “Turn out the light” while perusing the menu…he says “don’t try to save me”…and we both finish with “you may be wrong, etc” as our very confused waitress looks on.

    Good times, good times. Anyone else do this?

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Cill says:

    “Anyone else do this?”
    All the fucking time.

    Liked by 4 people

  48. Tarnished says:

    I knew I liked you.

    Liked by 3 people

  49. Liz says:

    I live in an all-dude home. What do you think? 😛

    Liked by 4 people

  50. Yoda says:

    “Anyone else do this?”
    All the fucking time.

    With dog you do do?

    Liked by 5 people

  51. Choicy says:

    Well shit Cillo I started to type a nice message and your clanger made me speechless mate. It was too much for this digger’s innocent ears mate. With your clanger ringing in me ears I wish you all a good day or night.

    Liked by 4 people

  52. Liz says:

    “You may be right, I might be lazy…
    But it just may be a loafin’ gal you’re lookin’ for….”

    Liked by 2 people

  53. Liz says:

    That’s one of my faves. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  54. Liz says:

    I may be LAZY.
    How on earth did that type out wrong? Lazy shouldn’t autocorrect to crazy. I say lazy all the time…could someone fix that please?

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Yoda says:

    A blue pill man being divorced isn’t going to be spending time figuring out what he did wrong

    But if try he did,
    fail he would.
    Blue pill model makes no sense it does.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. BuenaVista says:

    Bloom, if you care about this spurned husband, he needs to absorb 3-4 truths, which it is clear he has not.

    1. His life, as he planned it and wished for it to be, is over. He needs to design a new life. He doesn’t get his old one back. He’ll probably cry a lot once someone makes this clear to him.

    2. His children will never see him as he wishes them to see him. The stronger and more successful he is, the more his ex- will work to poison them; the more painful their lives become, the angrier they will become. This is true even if they figure out their mother is a zero: children just want parents, and they are not adjudicators of marital mishaps.

    3. Nobody gives a shit that he’s divorced. He thinks it’s an unholy tragedy; he’s incredulous; he’s operatic in his pain. Fine. But nobody gives a shit. He needs to stop sharing. So he needs to deal with it (items 1, 2) and move on.

    4. Failure to understand items 1/2, and possibly 3, puts him at severe risk of simply repeating the present cycle of failure with his ex-. The hard truths, above, will spare him the harder truth, here.

    ***

    In regard to trenchant comments by men, I was the dummy right seat in a Falcon 50 once. The guy who taught me to fly commanded. It’s a two-pilot aircraft, so he opted to violate insurance (I was not typed) and have me run the radios, while he ran it like a single pilot Citation. The boss wanted to go to Stowe, Vermont. Being rich, he (boss) was therefore always right. He looked up Stowe’s runway length, which was about 3500 feet and declared it well within the Falcon’s landing minimums. People who own planes like that enjoy displaying them to their friends, who don’t own them.

    Well. We’re flying into a VFR airport in a three-engine jet with the mountains on both sides. Capt. S. drags it in so low we nearly murder some doddering cows meandering around before the approach in. Seriously, I don’t know how we didn’t explode a couple of Holsteins. BANG onto the rutted asphalt. We get stopped okay. Dassault makes the Mirage and the Falcons with the same technology.

    CS says to the owner: “Take a good look around. This is the last time you are ever going to see this fucking airport.” Then he walked away.

    (Later he flew people like Dell and the South American “banker” Edmond Safra (who was murdered in his secure Monte Carlo home, before being set on fire). Safra paid CS in paper bags filled with $100 bills to fly him across the Atlantic.)

    We flew out with minimum fuel for Burlington, the field being 1500′ short of published departure minimums.

    He and I, in my old life, flew our little, matched Decathlons (180 hp two-seat aerobatic planes) all over the mid-Atlantic, in close formation. One of my children would ride along in the back. My son#1 did an okay job of heading and altitude at age 5. We took off and landed with 20′ of separation, which can be interesting with a lightly loaded wing.

    The -50 owner went broke, so before he gave up the plane, CS rolled it. A simple, coordinated, 360 aileron roll. No blue water was spilled. Then we landed and his wife got on board and we flew it in formation with my flying his Decathlon over the Shenandoah. Then he drove it up to Dassault, at Teterboro and I flew him home in my Decathlon.

    Liked by 5 people

  57. Cill says:

    I don’t recognize it Liz. Can you give us the tune?

    Like

  58. Liz says:

    Billy Joel!
    Thanks for fixing it, Swithy spirits of the forum. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  59. Cill says:

    I recognize it now, after the edit.

    BV advice re spurned husband. That about sums it up.

    Liked by 2 people

  60. Liz says:

    “CS says to the owner: “Take a good look around. This is the last time you are ever going to see this fucking airport.” Then he walked away.”

    😀

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Cill says:

    FWIW
    All the [beeep] Time

    Like

  62. Yoda says:

    Quiet as Degoba become this thread has.

    Like

  63. Yoda says:

    Perhaps a bear video it does need.

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Yoda says:

    Liz’ Mum she is?

    The pair reportedly met this summer and enjoyed a fling, Il Messaggero reported.

    But the man soon grew weary of the amorous adventure, and refused to have any more intercourse with the woman, who is separated from her husband.

    Unhappy with the rejection, she then allegedly locked him in the basement of her home in Arzano, a town north of Naples.

    http://www.thelocal.it/20150825/italian-cougar-locks-up-man-for-refusing-sex

    Liked by 3 people

  65. Yoda says:

    New weekend post there would be

    Like

  66. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A bear video it is. This is one of my favorites. I love how the little mischief maker scampers off.

    Liked by 2 people

  67. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    Tell Red that Jane the Witch is not going to try to just their two children, she’s going to try to drop off all five. Itsounds like she is the type to make up terms and conditions as she goes along while retaining the right to modify without notice.
    Dropping off all five wouldn’r be all thet bad if they were on good terms and it was an emergency. That is not the case here.
    I would print out BV’s comment and hand it to Red. It’s golden.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Spawny Get says:

    Update from Spawny’s Achers…

    Spawny was surprised to discover today, that the yokel ice cream van’s jingle is ‘The teddy bears’ picnic’

    ISYN

    Liked by 1 person

  69. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Thank you, Spawny!
    I was feeling sad that helped. I have to wonder how Anne Murray gets all the way through without laughing.

    Liked by 2 people

  70. Spawny Get says:

    “How can you guys be so darn witty and clever and yet so dark at the same time? You’re a bunch of sick bastards”

    It’s a gift. One prefers not to make a meal of it, lest one appear immodest.

    Liked by 2 people

  71. Liz says:

    “Liz’ Mum she is?”

    Hey, I’m Swiss and NORTHERN Italian, Yo!
    Naples is like Tijuana (okay, candidly I’ve never been to either but that’s the rumor). 😛

    Plus, I’d have no interest in a kid in his twenties. Holy crap, I’d want to make him lasangna and set him up with a nice young Catholic girl.

    Liked by 2 people

  72. Liz says:

    Unless you didn’t mean mum as in silent and doin’ stuff, but mum as in my mom?
    In that case…er *cough* yeah, it’s mom (how embarrassing). 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  73. Yoda says:

    Mum as in female parent it would be.
    Obi Wan taught me to speak British he did.

    Liked by 3 people

  74. Yoda says:

    Probably perform being a captive under such conditions he could not.
    Probably let him go immediately she should have.

    Liked by 1 person

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