Evening the Playing Field


In my last post, I discussed how modern girls are shielded from their mistakes.   Coddled might be a more appropriate term.  In my youth, it seemed to be somewhat different.  From what I can tell, I was on the tail end of an era that handled this situation in an alternative manner.

It did appear that boys were encouraged, and girls were told to “cool it”.  That is, boys were were given special allowances in order to facilitate their development.  Girls seemingly did not need this, as they developed socially and language wise earlier than boys.  Presumably this was to make it so that boys would not get discouraged and give up.  And if they gave up, they would not be there to marry the girls; and this was important in the day.  So teachers and parents worked to make sure this did not happen.  But perhaps, people care about this no more.  Why might this be?

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169 comments on “Evening the Playing Field
  1. Tarnished says:

    What special allowances do you mean, FB?

    Like

  2. Tarnished says:

    Also, “cool it” in regards to what?

    Like

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm B9oy,
    I have to second Tarn and ask yo to elaborate on “Boys were encouraged, and girls were told to ‘cool it'”.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Partly related. “Glssing” has come to Canada. I heard about this a while ago and thoght it limited to the UK. It refers to a woman battering a man with her drink glass. It is very rarely prosecuted.
    From the Amazing Athiest

    Like

  5. Tarnished says:

    Fuzzie, that video is just too many levels of sad to deal with right now. How is it unpunished? That’s a textbook definition of assault…

    I’m currently in my kitchen making some macaroni and bean soup while singing along with a Bon Jovi album. What’s everyone else up to?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Cill says:

    Tarn, I sitting here typing this.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Tarnished says:

    Hi Cill!
    How’s Dog and Horse doing tonight/today? Are you making any Sumo-esque recipes? Maybe indulging in a drink or 3? 🍺

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Tarnished says:

    Soup’s on!
    It’s midnight here for me and Fuzzie. Dinner and then bed…long day tomorrow. Night, all.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Cill says:

    Hi Tarn it’s 4 p.m. Monday here. Dog is looking worried (but then he always does). Horse as usual looks bland.

    I’ll eat in an hour. I’ll grill battered fish in the oven. I’ll make batter with flour and water and some milk. Add a bit of paprika and lemon. I coat the fish with cornflour before dipping it in the batter.

    For vege I’ll steam kale and silver beet still growing 15 minutes before consumption. Some parsley sauce. Also baked kumara and carrot.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    The injuries these get in these incidents are serious. I haven’t heard of an eye put out yet, but it is wholly possible. As for why they are not prosecuted, that explains why we are here in this little corner of the internet.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. molly says:

    Fuzzie that video nerd missed that she used a glass as a weapon!

    She started the violence. (the nerd got that right)
    During the fight “others” (women or white knights?) “jumped in” against him. (the nerd missed that)
    She used a glass as a weapon and split his face open (the nerd missed that)
    He left in an ambulance. (the nerd noticed that)

    The glass totally changed the violence. The nerd missed it.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    There is also the most glaringly obvious point that, in going to a club, they had to know that they would be hit on.
    The nerd is a prominent youtuber. Some of his stuff can have you rolling on the floor.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Farm Boy says:

    What special allowances do you mean, FB?

    One thing was for the girls to not talk all of the time.

    Teachers made special allowances for boys because the girls matured faster and earlier.

    Like

  14. Farm Boy says:

    Moms and Dads encouraged the boys more, mainly because they needed it.

    Like

  15. Farm Boy says:

    Has anybody seen men “negging” the precocious young girl?
    Perhaps they do it for a reason.

    Like

  16. Farm Boy says:

    Have people seen timid and/or shy boys being given a nudge?

    Like

  17. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I think, in the present, it is the reverse of what you propose. Boys are told to be quiet and stay in the background. Girls are encouraged beyond wha is healthy for vanity.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. molly says:

    Farm Boy YAY-ya!

    Polite you have been 🙂

    Polite too long a male can be.

    (Farm Boy YO!) oox

    Like

  19. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “burrito: 🌯 🌯 🐻 🙄
    Good night!

    Like

  20. molly says:

    Fuzzie y too cool to need half pie

    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯

    🐻

    Me too? 🙄

    Like

  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    You’re so sweet. I owe you one burrito for my ham fisted keyboard skills. 🌯 🌯
    One extra, just in case.

    Like

  22. Yoda says:

    I think, in the present, it is the reverse of what you propose.

    Old ways better they were.
    Pay a price today we do.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. SFC Ton says:

    There is no such thing as an even playing field. Anyone who starts up that line of reasoning is deluded.

    Also I don’t remember any such things for boys or girls in school

    I do remember more recesses plus PE which was probably for the teachers as much as the boys to burn off energy

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Tarnished says:

    There is also the most glaringly obvious point that, in going to a club, they had to know that they would be hit on.
    I’ve never been to a club, and even I know that. Regardless, there are far less violent ways to decline an offer of a night together than a glass to the face. The only time I’d do such a thing is if the male was literally trying to drag me out the door with him…which is very unlikely to happen.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Liz says:

    More recess, less government-mandated drugs, more boy-friendly coursework (no “touchy feely” classes), more independent work versus the new “collaborative” model.

    Like

  26. Liz says:

    Far more competition and objectives were goal-centered rather than “feel” centered.

    Like

  27. Tarnished says:

    Have people seen timid and/or shy boys being given a nudge?
    No, but neither have I for timid/shy girls. People who are active, louder, more extroverted, and willing to put themselves out there get the prizes the most.

    Has anybody seen men “negging” the precocious young girl? Perhaps they do it for a reason.
    I’d like to know said reason. I’ve been negged a fair few times, usually when I’m at work, but sometimes when I’m simply walking around at the mall or grocery. I see little point to it, other than an immature attempt to make a complete stranger supposedly less assured of themselves. Why you’d want to sully your first interaction with someone by giving a backhanded compliment as your opening line is beyond me. It just makes one look foolish and insecure, which is the opposite of attractive. 😕

    I understand the thought behind it. Namely that negs are supposed to knock down a woman’s self-pedestalization and force her to prove herself to you. But until you interact a least a little beforehand, how do you know she even has a massive ego *to* be dismantled?

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Tarnished says:

    One good thing about being younger is that you get recess. Unfortunately, where I live recess is only from grades K-4…once you reach 5th grade, you’re expected to be in a Study Hall. I think this is a travesty. It’s easier to concentrate on schoolwork if one have a period of time to blow off excess energy. Kids aren’t meant to just sit all day!

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Liz says:

    Even when they have recess, Tarn, it’s for a very very short while compared to before. Too much coursework they have to make room for all the government mandated “filler” classes.

    I don’t understand what FB is referring to as a “neg” here either. Shy boys have never been given a boost, in my experience. I’d actually say the old days were harsher on that level. Boys fought a lot, if you were weak you were trampled. Coddling (by teachers, parents and so forth) only made it worse for the “shy” child.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Liz says:

    Keep in mind, sensitive new age guys, metrosexuals and so forth are a modern construct. If a guy had shown up at school in pink pants a few decades ago he would have gotten his ass kicked.

    Like

  31. Tarnished says:

    I’m pretty sure he just means a regular old neg…An opening line that PUAs use to preemptively knock down a woman’s self-esteem, using the rationale that she automatically thinks she’s better than you and to speak with her she needs to be taken down a notch to your level. Backhanded compliments, in other words.

    Like “I don’t usually go for women with small breasts, but it works for you.”
    Or “I think the fact you have buck teeth is really cute.”

    Or one that hapoened to me:
    Guy “I think whoever dyed your hair did a fantastic job.”
    Me “Thanks? But I don’t dye my hair, it’s naturally blonde.”
    Guy *winks* “Suuuuure it is. I bet that works on other guys…but I’m not other guys.”

    The conversation tends to go downhill from there.

    Like

  32. Liz says:

    “The conversation tends to go downhill from there.”

    Nice!
    My first boyfriend “negged” a lot. It didn’t work out very well for him.

    Like

  33. Tarnished says:

    Lol. I can’t imagine it did, Liz. One of the guys I dated for a week in high school did that as well.

    Hence, why it was only for a week… 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Liz says:

    “I used to think being thin was better than being fat, until I saw you in a bathing suit today….”

    He was a silver tongued devil.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Liz says:

    Tit for tat though (perhaps that’s a poor choice of words), I did a lot of negging myself when I broke up with him. A great deal of negging, when he wanted me to explain exactly what was so unappealing to me about him.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Tarnished says:

    Me and mine will poke fun at each other as friends are wont to do, but it’s never mean or harsh. It’s just playing around. If you can’t laugh at your own faults…

    Liked by 2 people

  37. Liz says:

    Playing around isn’t negging, I don’t think. That’s just fun. 🙂

    Actually, in my life women tend to be the ones who are best at those back-handed insults they pretend are “compliments”. Mostly toward each other too (when they are jealous/envious/insecure). That’s why I always think a person who is “negging” in the form of an insult comes across as insecure.
    Exhibit A, Becky (a real conversation, real person, really really wanted to fuck Mike, last assignment).
    Becky, “Wow, people must really respect you as a nurse…you look like you have so much experience they must not worry at all when you’re at work. I look so young they’d probably be running scared if I were a nurse!”

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Liz yep, what a witch! A “friend” who was married to my ex husbands best friend once said, “here I brought you some clothes. My sister lost a ton of weight so they don’t fit her anymore. (Gee thanks!)

    Liked by 3 people

  39. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Off topic. Captain Capitalism really has it in for nightclubs.
    http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.com/2015/08/die-night-club-industry-die.html

    The tl;dr version. Any venue that is introduced for men to meet women will eventually be ruined by driving up the search costs for men.

    Like

  40. SFC Ton says:

    LOL @ sulling the 1st interaction. Men do it because it works. And those examples are all piss poor negs. Negs should be funny etc

    Like

  41. Liz says:

    Most examples of negs I’ve heard are “piss poor”.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Tarnished says:

    Bloom,

    The problem with kids nowadays is many parents are somehow convinced that their offspring are the greatest thing since sliced bread. They are perfect angels, can’t do any wrong, deserve to be pampered, etc.

    Of course, this is Grade A bullshit. It only leads to boys and girls having a huge sense of entitlement…authority be damned. A good example of this is when I was in college. In an attempt to provide healthier food options for those stuck on campus, they removed chocolate milk from the vending machines. It still had full, soy, and now 2% and small bottles of Hershey syrup were still freely available in the café…right next to the milk dispensing machine. But 1 Sophomore was so pissed about the fact the school expected him to stir his own chocolate milk (the horror!) that he wrote/called to his parents.

    His parents eventually bribed the school with a donation towards the gym renovations to get the 2% taken away and replaced with the chocolate again.

    Entitlement. Pure and simple.

    Like

  43. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    I think that a lot of this is due to people, when they have children, have fewer children. They are investing more in each child.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Liz says:

    Jesus, Tarn. Did you just say a sophomore in COLLEGE called his mommy and daddy to complain about the chocolate milk?

    Liked by 3 people

  45. Liz says:

    We. Are. Doomed.

    Liked by 3 people

  46. Liz says:

    “I think that a lot of this is due to people, when they have children, have fewer children. They are investing more in each child.”

    I think it’s a combination of factors. Parents arent’ home, so they really don’t know a whole lot about what junior is up to. When the complaints above junior’s activities come in, that’s more work for them so they’d rather ignore and accuse the person bringing the misbehavior to their attention. Add custody wars and you’ve got dueling parents trying to be a better “friend” less of a parent so the kid will pick them as favorite.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    On the issue of chocolate milk, I put that behind me in grade school. It sounds like someone has problems adapting.
    Liz, it’s not so much the kid’s objection but, that his parents were able to force change.

    Like

  48. Tarnished says:

    Yes, Liz.
    A 20 year old boy stomped his feet enough for his mommy and daddy to bribe a college to bring back pre-stirred chocolate milk. Gods forbid the café ever runs out of pepperoni Hot Pockets or whatever else this child eats.

    Some people need an “investment” of a swift kick to the ass.

    Liked by 3 people

  49. Tarnished says:

    Re: Negs
    Agreed, Liz.

    One that happened only a few weeks ago at Gencon was thus;

    My friends and I were talking outside a restaurant, catching up since we live in different areas of the country. Dude comes up, kinda listening into our plans for what games we’re hoping to try first. He butts in, gives some suggestions…eh, ok. We’re friendly, open to including other gamers in our conversations. I go to say something, he starts talking over me. This happens twice before I say “excuse me, stop interrupting”.

    He gives me a patronizing look, cock his thumb at me, and says to my friends “Wow, sounds like someone’s a glutton for attention today.” Then puts on the cockiest grin I’ve seen outside of a movie.

    Everyone just stared at him. Then G, who is 6’6″ and 350 lbs, deliberately turns away from the guy and says “Sorry, you were saying, Tarnished?” Lol. He slunk away like the douche he was.

    Like

  50. Liz says:

    I don’t know, Fuzzie. If you throw enough money at someone, you’re liable to get your way. I can’t really blame the school for bringing back chocolate milk because the parents sent them enough money to renovate the gym. Heck, if they give me that money I’ll let Mr Spoiled come over to my house and pilfer the chocolate milk in our kitchen (well, right now it’s syrup too but I’ll buy special for a bunch of money).

    The problem is the parents produced an adult human being who calls mommy and daddy to solve even the most insignificant and trivial of problems imaginable.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    The 20 year old has to fall from a greater height to learn humility. It’s going to hurt that much more.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    That is the difference. You’re humble enough to be flexible.
    People do like seeing bronze plaques with their names on them. I heard that it is easy to get donations for buildings and difficult for scholorships.

    Liked by 1 person

  53. Liz says:

    Funny example, Tarn. 😀

    I understand what Ton is saying about ‘negs’, but in order to pull off that sort of thing it basically must be funny, and then it wouldn’t really be a neg. And if a person is quick witted enough to come up with a funny/clever/socially intelligent “neg” well, it’s probably not exactly the “neg” that worked for him.
    I’m reminded of a scene from Mad Men where someone asked Don Draper for advice on how to apologize for a bad situation he created. And Don said, “well, first of all don’t apologize” and then he told and anecdote about how he handled that type of situation and what he said, something along the lines of, “wow, you sure made asses of yourselves last time we met.” So the guy tried that exactly line and the delivery was AWFUL and he was fired on the spot.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Cill says:

    The 20 year old and the chocolate milk… fact is stranger than fiction. Was his mum the head of the household? Another reason for milksop kids is emasculated men. I’d rather be pushing up daisies than let it happen to me. It disgusts me to see men rolling over for women. I told a bloke in front of his wife to grow a pair. She immediately agreed with me and I told her to do the world a favour and go away and die.

    Liked by 3 people

  55. Yoda says:

    The problem with kids nowadays is many parents are somehow convinced that their offspring are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

    Good question as to why this is.

    Like

  56. Cill says:

    Hey, would you call that a neg by me (at 7:37 pm)? Would it qualify as a neg?

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Liz says:

    ” Would it qualify as a neg?”

    Lol. Yes, Cill.
    That was probably the moment she fell in love with you, actually. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Cill says:

    I reckon! 😄

    I should’ve taken her number, dammit.

    Liked by 1 person

  59. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    Why would you want her number? These guys start the marriage on an even keel and they get worn down over years.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Tarnished says:

    Was his mum the head of the household?

    I really can’t imagine so. His dad was a very well known, rich lawyer in the area. His mom was a SAH wife. If the rest of their home life is as traditional as what it appears to be, I’d say Dad certainly wears the pants.

    Like

  61. Tarnished says:

    Fuzzie,

    Maybe Cill wanted to prank call her.

    Liked by 2 people

  62. Cill says:

    Fuzzy…
    After I’d told her to go away and die?

    It was at LAX. She was shouting abuse at him and shoving him in his back so he stumbled along in front of her. He was quite a big bloke too. Pathetic.

    I’d need her number like a hole in the head, Fuzzy Bear.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Liz says:

    Oh, come on Cill. She could turn into a stalker. And try to poison M and boil a bunny in your home and stuff!
    🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Yoda says:

    Perhaps time for “Pimpin’ Ma Ho – Negs Edition” it would be.

    Liked by 2 people

  65. Yoda says:

    A big neg in my book would be,
    “A Skittles woman you are”?

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Yoda says:

    “Skittles Women” need to apply to be a Padawan not.

    Like

  67. Cill says:

    I hadn’t heard of “neg” before today. You Americans sure do have some amusing expressions. It’s good to know I’m a natural negger. Thanks Liz.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    It is embarrassing to see that in public. Why a woman would treat her life partner with such disrespect has no reasonable answer.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Cill says:

    As an expert negger, I could write the foreword to “Pimpin’ Ma Ho – Negs Edition”.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. Ok so any advice for saying “ljbf” to a recently divorced guy who keeps insisting I *will* be his girlfriend? He was recently frivorced and pretty brutally humiliated by his ex so I don’t want it to come off as a rejection. He’s simply not ready, but he can’t see that. It’s nothing to do w his attractiveness or worth as a person, he’s a cool and good looking guy, he’s just rebounding and I don’t want to be that rebound :/ should I not be his friend at all? Or?

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Fuzzie, agreed. That woman sounds like a real witch. Poor guy! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Liz says:

    “You Americans sure do have some amusing expressions. It’s good to know I’m a natural negger.”

    You definitely are! Dangerously good at it.
    But if you’re in the states, don’t say that last sentence out loud. It might be misunderstood.
    😛

    Gah, Bloom, wish I could help but I’d have no earthly idea. I’ll let someone else take that one.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Cill says:

    But Liz, if you have “neg” over there, you also have…
    Perhaps “neggor” would be more acceptable.

    Liked by 1 person

  74. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cill,
    Instead of saying “neg”, how about saying “backhanded compliment”?

    Bloom,
    Don’t say “LJBF”. Putting myself in his shoes, you have to be direct and frank. You have to tell him, flat out, without candy coating, that you don’t see him that way. Also, you have to amend that be reminding him that he is reaching out like a man drowning. He’ll hurt for a little while.
    If he is all right in your book, his wife is a stinker.

    Like

  75. Cill says:

    Jim and Tom are guffawing at your video, Liz.
    (Tom is a Maori and he’s giggling helplessly)

    Liked by 2 people

  76. Cill says:

    Bloom if you’re not interested in him and never will be, don’t give him any reason at all to hang onto hope.

    Liked by 2 people

  77. Yoda says:

    Go through healing process frivorced men must.
    Provide path for this one could.
    Good post this might be

    Liked by 2 people

  78. Spawny Get says:

    “I told a bloke in front of his wife to grow a pair. She immediately agreed with me and I told her to do the world a favour and go away and die.”

    Diplomacy…died this day…Requiescat in pace

    Liked by 3 people

  79. Spawny Get says:

    Sometimes South Park really hits the spot. Thanks Liz

    Liked by 3 people

  80. Yoda says:

    Diplomacy…died this day

    Perhaps died this day it did,

    Like

  81. Yoda says:

    Or perhaps this the day it was,

    Liked by 2 people

  82. SFC Ton says:

    Stop the presses! A dude with bad game at a comic book/ video game/ nerd convention….. who would have ever thought that would happen…. certainly not me….

    Negs cannot be canned or contrived or from some place of hostility. A dbag will always sound like a dbag. Negs also depend on the situation and tone. I am unsure they convey well over the interwebz or in the retelling. Negs also work best when they hit at some generic female issue… recently I asked a very feminine woman how her soft ball team was going. She said she didn’t play soft ball I said something like opppssssss figured you did with the butch style of dress or some such. We both laughed, she is complimented her and wondering if the compliment is genuine. Same thing when you tease a skinny, fit girl about eating ice cream or some such.

    Bloom tell him you don’t do rebounds as it is not fair to either person

    I doubt the hotshot lawyer runs his house. Odds are he is to busy doing the lair thing…. I mean lawyer. Very few of those guys are red pill or such

    Liked by 3 people

  83. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I can just see her accepting it with good grace. I think that she would have like bear videos much more.

    Like

  84. Tarnished says:

    Bloom,
    You need to be cruel to be kind in this case. Please don’t ever actually say “ljbf”…it comes off as a canned response with no real thought put into it. Instead, be polite but firm in telling him you understand he is hurting, that he is now looking for a nice woman as a companion after enduring what he did, but you do not and will not see him that way. This will likely hurt him as well. It’s unfortunate, but has to be done to avoid later accusations and misunderstandings.

    Liked by 1 person

  85. Tarnished says:

    Scfton,

    Aforementioned lawyer is what I refer to as a “chest puffer”. One of the types who has money, and wants everyone to know it. I’m sure that neither he nor his wife ever tried to instill anything different in the son.

    The “negs” you give examples of above don’t even sound like the ones I’m used to. They aren’t unnecessarily harsh or mean, and sound pretty tame. Easy to laugh at, even. If anything similar was said to me I’d be very likely to think the guy was just being a goofball.

    Why do others use negs meant to hurt or be obnoxious instead?

    Like

  86. Agreed, thanks for weighing in. It’s akward bcwhile I have said it,he still seems to think I am just playing hard to get or something and continues. Very persistent. I a thallus told him he needs to go bang 10 chicks the see how he feels! And then he says,”why? I want you!” Ak

    Like

  87. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    When he says that he likes you, he is not lying. He does like you, like a drowning man likes anything that floats. You need to minimize contact.

    Like

  88. Liz says:

    I guess, “Hey, lazy bitch, I loved your story!”
    might be a “neg”. But not really, because he likes my laziness and it was funny. 🙂

    I used to help with farewell skits for the squadron. It was kind of like a “roast” for people who were leaving. It was a lot of fun, but it required some situational awareness.
    For example, one day the Lts asked if I had any spandexy, slutty type dresses they could borrow so they could portray one of the wives (who indeed did dress as a skank ALWAYS, and it was never appropriate) in a skit. Mike squelched that one…it wouldn’t be funny, just mean spirited. The roasts were always fun, and the person “roasted” was always delighted to be the center of the “slam”, but it was a “nice” slam. For example, Mike always drinks coffee and he always falls asleep during meetings so they had a great time with that one (and of course I was brought up as well “why don’t you get any sleep, Mike?” and so forth).

    It’s actually saddest when a person is so bland and there’s absolutely nothing you can poke fun of because they just aren’t interesting enough. We had one of those recently and we had to just make up a generic skit.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. Spawny Get says:

    Gah! First evening off and I decided to watch ‘Interstellar’…borrox…

    Liked by 1 person

  90. SFC Ton says:

    because they are assholes vs asshole funny
    because they do not understand what a neg is
    and therefore cannot deliver one
    because they only read one PUA article, try one thing poorly and call it all bullshit
    because our culture has been destroyed to the point that’s folks default setting
    because the grass is blue and the sky is green… who knows why?

    Liked by 1 person

  91. Sumo says:

    there’s absolutely nothing you can poke fun of because they just aren’t interesting enough

    Obviously, you’re doing it wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. SFC Ton says:

    Hey lazy bitch is an excellent inside neg. Think about it for a bit then tell Professor Ton why….

    The answer to a mans girl trouble is almost always dump that bitch bang 10 more, and it is Professor Ton’s esteemed opinion that man has no bidness in a LTR until he has smashed at least 30 chicks (100 would be better) or 10 since his last LTR if he has hit the 30 chick mark.

    So many damn officers they have nothing better to do then make skits. Reason #1 we lost the ground wars

    Liked by 1 person

  93. SFC Ton says:

    I never think of myself as a PUA or a guy with tight game etc until I read stuff on the internet…

    I reckon there are times when a man should use a hard neg but I am thinking that’s about frame control. I cannot think of ever saying anything really hard core on a neg unless I needed/ wanted to put a bitch in her place, at which point I was shifting targets anywhichway however that to needs to be done correctly or the other bitches will close ranks

    Neg by proxy is easier and gets her into the conversation more. My best example of that is…

    was at the post office with my account. We were second in line, the girl in front of us was bidness hot and the girl at the counter had dozens and dozens of small boxes when it wasn’t Christmas time.

    I asked the hottie in front of me how much weed does one have to sell on ebay to justify mailing that many boxes? Hilarity ensued. Any rate, I neg’ed the girl in front of us, got the lady I wanted to talk to talking; she shit tested me, mild as they go with something about why I was at the post office, my reply was about to hit on pretty girls in bidness attire. Shit test sent, shit test returned more hilarity ensued, number was acquired, panties were dropped a few days later.

    Neg’ed, showed social skill by making folks laugh; demonstrated higher value by being open/ engaging in public setting surrounded by strangers; gained bad boy cred when I talked about something illegal in the open; passed a mild shit test with humor doubling down on the 1st three items and sexualized the conversation in rather clear yet humorous manner.

    Why was that or my other examples a neg? Because there is a slight hint of negativity to all three examples.

    Liked by 2 people

  94. Tarnished says:

    I’m confused as to how what the woman said was a shit test? Sounds more like playful banter…or at least, that’s what I’d assume it was.

    Like

  95. Tarnished says:

    Also, none of these sound like negs, just teasing or again, more banter. They aren’t anything like what I’d consider a neg from past experiences.

    Like

  96. Tarnished says:

    Doesn’t mean they aren’t, I suppose. Just not what comes to mind as one.

    Like

  97. Yoda says:

    Hey non-busy Lizzie,

    More “Pimpin’ Ma Ho” we do need.

    Liked by 3 people

  98. SFC Ton says:

    She was trying to bust my chops, if I responded poorly things are unlikely to have progressed

    Shit tests are not always confrontational but the man is still be tested; pass or fail; tingles or dry vagina

    Like

  99. Tarnished says:

    Huh. Okay.
    No wonder I’m bad at this…it’s like an entirely new language. Kinda like trying to keep up with female doublespeak, but different.

    Like

  100. Tarnished says:

    Or maybe not so much a language as verbal dueling…

    Liked by 1 person

  101. SFC Ton says:

    You are stuck in the hard neg mindset. It is my assumption hard negs are for when a low value dude is trying to bring a chick down so he can open her up, or when you need to nuke a shit test. In the 1st, it still shouldn’t be so hard she dries up. Chicks love the grey area and plausible deniability; men need to neg etc in that same realm.

    I say either is about lack of frame

    Liked by 1 person

  102. SFC Ton says:

    LOL just so. It’s the counter to double speak etc. Mind judo to counter her psychic ninja skills. And like Judo (in theory) subtlety wins.

    Liked by 2 people

  103. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    I think Liz may be busy attending to the needs of her family. May I divert your attention with a bear video that I would be proud to submit to Her Majesty.

    Liked by 3 people

  104. Farm Boy says:

    To clarify the original post — I was a tyke during the last vestiges of the Evil Patriarchy. In grade school, the teachers were all these older ladies who went into teaching because it was one of the jobs that were available to them. And the principals were all guys who enforced the standard line (before fancy educational theories were all the rage). It sure seemed that teachers did much to encourage the boys, and to “tone down” the girls. And once again, the girls had the advanced social and language skills, so to keep them from being the total “stars” of the class, the teacher had to even things out.

    In my case, I had “girl-like” language skills when I was young (but alas, not the social skills), so I was one of the boys the teachers used to equalize things.

    Liked by 2 people

  105. Tarnished says:

    Going to have to read about this more. It’s very much unlike how I typically think of conversations. Irl, I’m witty and quick to come back with puns, word games, or similar humor…but I don’t think of my banter or comebacks as shit tests. I just like to make people laugh/feel more at ease, and joking with them is an easy way to do that.

    However, if what you’re talking about is how many other people see daily conversations, then that could be why I’m supposedly “flirting” so much. This requires more consideration on my part now…

    Like

  106. Yoda says:

    I had “girl-like” language skills when I was young

    Learn to speak Yodish you should.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. Farm Boy says:

    I wonder if in the olden days that teachers understood that boys develop slower than girls.

    Perhaps they saw it with their own eyes, and that was good enough to act on.

    Liked by 2 people

  108. SFC Ton says:

    Most people are not naturally friendly, out going etc so to them it probably is seen as flirting ( & low value/ blue pill dudes see flirting etc and chalked it up to the girl being friendly and what not)

    Yea it’s often a mess, mostly think about it some as you observe human interactions. It will make more sense when you see it live and in person

    Bad game is perhaps worse then no game. Bad game/ social skills are easy to spot, good game/ social skillz are natural and get folks caught up in the moment so the skill set is not noticed or noticed afterward/ latter.

    Liked by 3 people

  109. Farm Boy says:

    I can just see her accepting it with good grace. I think that she would have like bear videos much more.

    I was recently traveling with some young nephews. One night, rather than watch some stupid TV, we watched bear videos on YouTube. They loved it. They could not get over the trampoline bear.

    Liked by 2 people

  110. SFC Ton says:

    I can only remember 4 teachers who didn’t hate me and then later hating me/ being afraid of me. Of those 4 two were history teachers, one was a physics teacher (phd and all) & the other was embarrassed that I fucked her the summer before school started.

    LOL my mother was a teacher and she hated me as well so they all came by it honest like

    Like

  111. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Feminists are chained to their “blank slate” outlook. In the old days, educators weren’t crippled with this and could se the obvious, that boys and girls were different and developed differently. Girls did have the social skills down earlier and there is probably a sound survival reason for this.

    Liked by 2 people

  112. I was born just post patriarchy and in the midst of the new “go girl!!!” Order. I learned early that the answer to the question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Was not “wife” or “mother.” It was “teacher” or “nurse” or if you really wanted to score points “president.” A whole generation plus have been spoon fed this… Who is to blame for the results?

    Liked by 2 people

  113. * nothing against teachers or nurses, it’s just at that time those were the only realistic career paths. That has changed but the overall issue has not… Women have and are still being told that being a wife or mom is a “waste” of her life. Hardly! Pretty little lies….the female blue pill…

    Liked by 2 people

  114. Farm Boy says:

    Well Ton, I am a few years older than you. Or perhaps, my school was an anomaly.

    Like

  115. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    You gave me the springboard to put into words that which has been rattling around in my head for the past few days. While you point out that girls were “encouraged” to seek work in renumerative occupations, what was corollary but unsaid was that men are optional. The message stuck. I think the chief reason for what we describe as hypergamy is the attitude that if men are optional, she would rather have a Ferrari than a Ford.
    Realizing this, it kind of puts out of men’s control.

    Liked by 1 person

  116. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    I never knew about be4ar videos until I started commenting. They are unreservedly wonderful.

    Like

  117. molly says:

    If I neg on my male friends what will they do? If they neg back on me will we stalemate or double neg? 😀
    Lol

    Like

  118. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    I always thought that double negatives were grammatically incorrrect. Also, is it a neg when we tease you about not having arms in your Rainbow Furby persona?

    Liked by 1 person

  119. molly says:

    Fuzzie I ain’t got no neg!

    Liked by 2 people

  120. molly says:

    Ain’t got no double neg neither!

    Liked by 1 person

  121. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    Points to you! More points if you can link a video of a Furby playing drums.

    Liked by 1 person

  122. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Farm Boy,
    Way off topic but, great news! There is something we can export.
    http://bobagard.blogspot.com/2015/08/good-news-for-americs-dairy-farms.html

    Like

  123. molly says:

    Can’t find no link of me playing drums 😐
    Would playing the fool do?

    Liked by 1 person

  124. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    That was too tall an order on my part.
    It’s bedtime and I hope to dream of you playing drums while bees bring you honey.

    Liked by 1 person

  125. molly says:

    ‘armless air drumming eh.

    Goin’ home to see ma baby.

    Sweet dreams!

    Liked by 1 person

  126. Fuzzie I am not sure it is out of men’s hands. Or if so, we’re in trouble. What women should see but so many don’t seem to (yet) is that the new order doesn’t serve their needs either. The female version of the blue pill leaves women just as fruitlessly working a broken script as the male one does.

    Men feed into it as well. For example my youngest, her dad jumps at the slightest hint of her being unhaaaaapy, giving in to her every whim. So when she gets home from his place, it’s a good day or two of resetting the, “you aren’t the boss, you’re the kid” paradigm which leads to her whining and/or shit testing me until she realizes it won’t fly w mom. It really worries me that her dad is feeding the princess complex but when I talk to him about it he swears, “well she doesn’t act like that w me!” Of course not realizing yeah bc he never says no or gives in long before then. And as the weekend parent he can, bc he doesnt really have to live w the repercussions of it, plus he may be operating out of guilt for not being there (unclear, just guessing.) Sad he can’t see how he’s setting her, and her future mate, up for problems. Dads should be good to their daughters, yes, but not overindulge them. As should moms.

    Liked by 2 people

  127. Liz says:

    “To clarify the original post — I was a tyke during the last vestiges of the Evil Patriarchy. In grade school, the teachers were all these older ladies who went into teaching because it was one of the jobs that were available to them. And the principals were all guys who enforced the standard line (before fancy educational theories were all the rage). It sure seemed that teachers did much to encourage the boys, and to “tone down” the girls. And once again, the girls had the advanced social and language skills, so to keep them from being the total “stars” of the class, the teacher had to even things out.
    *snip*
    I wonder if in the olden days that teachers understood that boys develop slower than girls.”

    Perhaps educational spinsters of old were more in tune with and concerned with the developmental wellbeing of boys, to the extent they “toned down” the girls.
    Another explaination might be that they were jealous of the young girls (particularly the prettiest) who would never see that future and treated them particularly badly for that reason. What would Occam’s chainsaw say?

    Like

  128. SFC Ton says:

    I’m 45 FB but from the hills so maybe a generation behind the big city thing? We had all male leadership in our schools, male gym teachers, went to hunters safety course during the 6th grade, got time off for opening day of deer season (then duck season when I moved to Maryland. Loved Maryalnd as a kid; despise the place now with all the government job seeking transplants), guns in school were common and no big deal (until force bussing hit….) lincoln was called the tyrant, Booth a hero etc etc.

    I had a lady teacher in middle school who thought the sun rose and set on me because I already knew the 7th grade history material(she is also the teacher who figured out I couldn’t read); my 10th grade history teacher and I were close because of hunting( he leased the land next to my people’s place) & had the same earthy sense of history; my physics teacher enjoyed teaching…. boys and broke down physics to boy related topics for us and was proud when I told him how he helped get me ready for sniper school; no one should be pussy about the chemistry teacher I banged. She was 22 & who expects a 17 year old to have a full beard and what not?

    Any rate I don’t recall girls being favored over boys or the other way around really. Expect the physics teacher but there was maybe 3 girls in our class. We all did home economics, we all did shop, square dancing in jr high was boring because that’s what your grandparents dragged you too….

    I know technically all those anti masculine things where out there but I don’t recall anything overt either way but there are a lot of school systems in the usa. Coming with a clear time line would probably be like nailing jello to the wall

    Liked by 1 person

  129. Tarnished says:

    FB,

    I’ve never seen this encouragement-toning down in a sex based way. Now, my teachers…male and female alike…*did* police the classroom a bit. There were gentle reprimands to those of us who were bookworms and frequent hand-raisers to “Let someone new answer for a change.” But it was said to boys and girls, not just one of us.

    I wonder if it has anything to do with the relatively high amount of male teachers in my district, that boys were just naturally more encouraged to speak out without needing direct help? From what you’ve said, having 1/3 of my teachers be male was unheard of in your neck of the woods.

    Liked by 1 person

  130. Liz says:

    I think they DO neg over the pond, come to think about it.
    Don’t they have something called “Slagging” or “taking the piss” over there? 🙂

    Like

  131. Tarnished says:

    I’m 31 and had a school system much like scfton describes. Everyone had to take wood shop and metal shop, computer courses, home ec, family preparation (kinda like a infant/small child related Health course), and at least 2 art or music classes. Just about all our Gym teachers were men, and most of the History and Chemistry/Physics ones. English, Health, and Math were pretty evenly split, but Biology/Earth Science, Foreign language, and Art/Music were mostly women.

    Like

  132. Liz says:

    I had some female teachers I’m convinced wanted me dead, back in elementary school. Second grade was the worst. That woman was absolutely psychotic toward me in particular. I had no idea why at the time, I was quiet as a mouse (except when I was begging for help if and when I was actively attacked by others), and model pupil. In fifth grade I finally had the first female teacher who treated me fairly, and it changed my life. Middle was awful, but I remembered her always. Even my only Chemistry professor seemed to really hate me.

    Liked by 1 person

  133. Liz says:

    My only FEMALE Chemistry professor, meant to say above.

    Liked by 1 person

  134. Liz says:

    I’m just going to rewrite that bit, so it makes sense (please delete the above two posts, spirits of Swithy forum):

    I maintain the following things have changed and made the environment less male-centric, more female-centric: Before, there was far more recess, less government-mandated drugs (drugs are now ubiquitous and obligatory, and almost exclusively males are force-fed them), before there was more boy-friendly coursework (no “touchy feely” classes), more independent work versus the new “collaborative” model, more competitive environment centered around clear objectives and goals. And administration is now comprised almost entirely of women so this reflection trickles down hill and there are fewer and fewer male teachers, to our detriment.

    Like

  135. Yoda says:

    centered around clear objectives and goals.

    Important for boys this would be.
    Unless “process” is athletic, boys are interested in it not.

    Liked by 1 person

  136. Yoda says:

    And administration is now comprised almost entirely of women

    Women — To be men desire they do.
    Yet mold schools entirely to their learning style they would.
    Odd this would be.

    Like

  137. SFC Ton says:

    Women understand women and rarely like each other…..

    There really is nothing odd about it Yoda. Makes perfect sense in fact once you understand how women operate

    Like

  138. BuenaVista says:

    I’m sure all the stories about female-dominated schools, the drugging of boys (because otherwise they need recess 3-4 times a day) and that hi-ho tall tale of Ton banging his 22 year-old instructor are just reactionary tales from the crypt. Hillary will fix it all. Also, gender is a social construct, so boys (if we could just listen to their hearts!) just can’t wait to take home-ec, as they rightly should, and chicks want time on the band saw.

    Liked by 2 people

  139. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom at 10:01am,
    It is out of men’s hands. Given that women prefer the single life, men are going to be turned down when they approach.

    Like

  140. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Buena Vista,
    How many lawsuits from expulsion due to false accusation does it take to make Title IX a losing proposition?

    Liked by 1 person

  141. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    In second grade you had to be a little angel and you did say you were as quiet as a mouse. There had to be something vicious in that teacher. Bloom’s daughter’s experience tells me that this is more common than it should be. No bueno.

    Liked by 1 person

  142. Sumo says:

    For the record, I loved Home Ec. I learned some skills, and 95% of the class was girls.

    Liked by 1 person

  143. Tarnished says:

    And I throughly enjoyed wood shop. 🙂

    Gender is absolutely NOT a social construct…it has a lot to do with the way our brains develop in the womb, imo…but being a particular gender doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to definitely like A or B. There’s a greater chance of it, sure, but there will always a significant minority that “messes up” the statistics.

    Sumo, in my Home Ec, it was about 50-50. 😉

    Like

  144. Liz says:

    OT Badass dude news:
    http://www.stripes.com/air-force-to-award-highest-noncombat-medal-to-train-attack-hero-1.364420

    “Stone, Alek Skarlatos and college friend Anthony Sadler took down a gunman wielding an AK-47 and box cutter as he began an assault on a high-speed train headed for Paris late Friday.”

    Liked by 2 people

  145. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    They’re already getting France’s highest honor. Napoleon got his for carrying a flag under fire across a bridge in Italy.

    Liked by 1 person

  146. Spawny Get says:

    “Don’t they have something called “Slagging” or “taking the piss” over there? 🙂 ”

    There are rumours of such things…let me offer elucidation

    A slag is a slut

    You can slag someone off by saying mean things about them

    Rip the piss out of someone, take the piss, it’s all good. Unless someone gets pissed off. Or has a pissy fit and throws their toys out of their pram (perambulator / baby buggy).

    Liked by 1 person

  147. SFC Ton says:

    LOL nice.one BV

    Like

  148. Spawny Get says:

    The U.S. guys made the national news a few days ago. “Well hard” fellows

    Like

  149. BuenaVista says:

    American boys, making France safe for the French, Spawny. Again.

    The first responder, incidentally, wasn’t one of the young American guys. It was an age 50+ American English Lit professor at the Sorbonne, raised in central Virginia. One of the younger dudes was kind enough to stick a finger in his penetration 7.62 wound to the neck until some French genius decided to stop the train and get the EMTs on board.

    Some cultures join a fight, others hit the floor.

    Liked by 5 people

  150. BuenaVista says:

    It’s just so hard to be a SJW these days. On the one hand, for 50 years we’ve said that gender is a gene-related thing. Damn, oddly, it’s been hard to find that “gay gene.” So now we’re back to making it up, and we can “identify” as the opposite sex, an alternative race, or a small-block Chevy.

    Then one of the best male athletes in human history (6’2″, 195 lbs) says he changed his mind about his wang and wants someone to cut it off. It will certainly improve his profile in a skinny white cocktail dress. Public shaming and ridicule accrue to anyone who says they disbelieve studs who “identify” as something they’re not. Because, of course, that’s not mental illness, that would be transphobic, racist, etc.

    Now, imagine you’re a confused 5 year-old boy who likes dresses, and afflicted with deranged parents. Those parents get brownie points with their friends if they can find a surgeon to “correct” your anatomy.

    Liked by 5 people

  151. SFC Ton says:

    Dude you have been ruthless on them lately, keep it up BV

    Like

  152. Tarnished says:

    Now, imagine you’re a confused 5 year-old boy who likes dresses, and afflicted with deranged parents.

    So…Scottish, in other words?

    Like

  153. Yoda says:

    A new post there would be.

    Like

  154. Liz says:

    Odds that this kid is messed up, better than average:
    http://whattheflicka.com/boys-who-dress-like-boys-and-the-mothers-who-want-them-to-dress-like-girls/

    Four years later, goes to college. Calls home.
    Him: “Good news, Mom, I learned to suck cock!”
    Her: “Oh, thank goodness. It’s about time!”

    Liked by 1 person

  155. Liz says:

    Gah, that was revolting.
    I need some ‘Yo teacher’ jokes, or something.
    Yo teacher’s so fat, she got a ham glazed booty!
    Yo teacher’s so fine, she could be a one benny ho!

    Liked by 2 people

  156. Sumo says:

    So…Scottish, in other words?

    IT’S NAE A DRESS, YE DAFT HUDDY! IT’S A BLOODY KILT!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  157. Tarnished says:

    A D&D joke for Liz:

    You teacher’s so fat, she uses a grapefruit as her miniature! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  158. Tarnished says:

    Sumo, it’s quite clearly a man skirt. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  159. Farm Boy says:

    So…Scottish, in other words?

    Just for Tarn,

    Liked by 2 people

  160. Farm Boy says:

    More Scottish fun,

    Liked by 1 person

  161. Farm Boy says:

    More Scottish silliness,

    Liked by 1 person

  162. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    When my Dad was an infant, he was dressed like a little girl. Seeing a biography on FDR showed the same. However, this kid id more than a little long in the tooth. The pigtails did look a little like a Viking.
    Bad parents!
    Maybe this will help.

    Liked by 1 person

  163. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Buena Vista,
    That the country was bled whie in World War I may excuse the six week collapse of the French in the face of inferior German forces in WWII. I don’t know what the present excuse would be.

    Like

  164. Tarnished says:

    I’m going to be unpopular for this opinion, but also don’t much care. So…

    I do not think it’s “bad parenting” to let a boy dress up like a girl or a girl dress up like a boy. Being young is all about embracing your creativity, your imagination. Testing boundaries, learning differences, categorizing the world around you.

    Do we freak out if a child wants to pretend to be a firefighter, a doctor, an artist, a chef? How about if they want to drive a little electric car, “go to work”, or play house…in other words, pretend to be an adult? Let’s go farther. What about kids who spend an afternoon in a couch cave making believe they are a bear, or tape cardboard sheets to their arms and “fly” around the yard like a bird, or even growl and stomp around with green facepaint and Halloween vampire teeth as a dinosaur?

    Are we really afraid of kids pretending to be the opposite sex, but are accepting of them pretending to be different ages, species, and jobs? You’re going to be horrified if your little girl walks into the living room wearing a tie, carrying a briefcase, and clomping around in business shoes because she wanted to “be like Daddy” for a while?
    Please. Give me a break.

    Now, that being said, I’m also not overly fond of the recent upsurge in supposed trans population. Is it possible, due to the massive amounts of chemicals in our environment/food, that people (mostly men) are having issues with a dissonance between their sex and gender? Sure. It is a possibility…but not a high probability. Much like the lesbian-til-graduation phenomenon we discussed earlier, or the idiotic “I’m a Pagan, but not really ’cause I just want to piss off my parents” crowd, I do believe that a lot of what we see is not actually a rise in trans people. As of the 2010 US census, 0.036% of the population said they were trans. That’s a total of 111,500 people…65% of which were MtF.

    I seriously doubt that we gender dysphoric folk are that much more numerous in 2015. It’s just not plausible. I think that the problem is this:

    People are convinced that to like/be good at Q or Z means they must identify with the sex that trait is stereotypically associated with. A woman likes working with cars, getting her hands dirty, and downing a few beers while grilling steaks for a BBQ? Oh, she *must* be a lesbian! A man is quiet, soft-spoken, enjoys baking and writing poetry? Obviously he must not want to be male!
    This is the kind of crap people are told nowadays by a great deal of society. And yet these same pushers of stereotypes wonder why many trans folk are still severely depressed after having surgery…Fools.

    /end rant

    Goodnight, all. Have a pleasant evening.

    Liked by 1 person

  165. Tarnished says:

    Tl;dr

    If your young child feels like dressing up like the opposite sex for fun, please for the love of all that’s good DON’T automatically think they are trans or gay and try to “help” them. If it persists into the late preteen/early teen years…ok. Maybe they are some kind of gender dysphoric. Your 5 year old boy wants his nails painted like his older sister? For chrissakes, he’s just being a kid!

    In parents’ rush to show off how PC and “accepting” they are, they’re just causing more harm than good. Ugh!

    Liked by 1 person

  166. Liz says:

    Children learn through example and doing. No one should purposely emasculate a little dude, or try to raise him to be gay, as the woman who wrote the article I linked to above proudly proclaims she attempted to do (and then displays an image of him dressed as a girl on the worldwide web, “but it’s okay! He agreed! He’s 14 and he agreed to this article!”)

    Liked by 2 people

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