Narcissism – can Women Love without it?


Post by Cillhouette and Molly with thanks to Cill for allowing us to use his account.


 

Are women hard-wired to be narcissistic?

A woman wrote 50 Shades. Women readers bought 50 Shades in unprecedented numbers. Christian Grey is alluring to women. The truth is that he (Christian Grey) is a she and women are alluring to themselves.

Narcissism – are women capable of passion without it? Must they receive more pleasure than they give, before they can enjoy it at all?

“[W]omen’s desire is ‘not relational, but narcissistic’, that is, it’s not about the connection with their partner, it’s about themselves. Research shows that compared with men, women’s erotic fantasies are less about giving pleasure than receiving it”: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-sex/9840806/Women-want-as-much-sex-as-men

Must women receive more value than they give in a relationship, before we can enjoy it at all? What about a lesbian relationship LOL. Will the lezzies spend their days fighting for the right to receive which and with what and from whom?

Can women make a decision not to be narcissistic, and live by it? How hard would it be?

 

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Posted in Molly
190 comments on “Narcissism – can Women Love without it?
  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is a big question. Just a few years ago, psychologists were certain that the term <narcissist" could only be applied to men. Famous examples would include Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and Saddam Hussein.

    I am not the only one to notice it. Very good looking women are kinder than their less good looking counterparts. No idea why. Could it be that they are more secure?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Tarnished says:

    A woman wrote 50 Shades. Women readers bought 50 Shades in unprecedented numbers.
    Yes. This is sad, as the author is an adult woman with the romantic and emotional maturity of a 11 year old.

    Dorian Grey is alluring to women. The truth is that he (Dorian Grey) is a she and women are alluring to themselves.
    Um? Did you mean Christian Grey of the 50 Shades books? Dorian Grey was the dude who put his soul into a painting…

    Narcissism – are women capable of passion without it? Must they receive more pleasure than they give, before they can enjoy it at all?
    Don’t know. It likely depends on whether she sees a relationship as a zero sum game. If one operates under the idea that there *must* be someone who gets more and someone who gets less…then no. Such a person is incapable of passion without expressly looking for blatant gain. However, if one realizes that pleasure can almost always be shared in equal measures, then it is obvious that pleasure should be given freely because it is going to come back. That’s part of what love is.

    Research shows that compared with men, women’s erotic fantasies are less about giving pleasure than receiving it.
    Odd. Why not involve both? It’s more fun that way! Seriously though, I wonder if this has to do with the fact that women in general have a more difficult time “getting off” than their male counterparts. Could the prevalence of Receiving-type fantasies be a symptom of sexual unsatisfaction/envy, and a desire for all sexual attention to be on them to guarantee orgasms?

    Can women make a decision not to be narcissistic, and live by it? How hard would it be?
    Again, if one doesn’t naturally tend towards narcissism, then it hardly needs to be combatted since it wouldn’t be a trait at all. If one does tend towards it, then the decision to stop will be much harder to accomplish.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Tarnished says:

    Could it be that they are more secure?
    It’s probably because people act nicer towards them in general, whereas people are less likely to stop and help/pay good attention to less good looking women.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. molly says:

    “Dorian Grey”
    Ooops! My fault. I changed the post. Thanks Tarn 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cillhouette says:

    tehehe… We haven’t read 50 Shade! We have only read *about* it. In the excerpts we looked at, Grey is obviously a woman’s creationh – no male writer could create such a woman’s idea of a man!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Cillhouette says:

    How are you today Mr Bear? You r looking well 😉

    Just a few years ago, psychologists were certain that the term <narcissist" could only be applied to men. The research we referenced says women are more narcissistic than men in sex.

    Very good looking women are kinder than their less good looking counterparts. Interesting! Is “too many fatties” the reason so many women are so unpleasant? Maybe we have stumbled on the cure, Fuzzie! Cure meanness with diet and exercize LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  7. molly says:

    And sammies!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Tarnished says:

    No problem, Molly.
    Figured that’s what you’d meant!

    Don’t bother reading it. I read book 1 and half of book 2, because my SO was reading it. *sigh*
    Sometimes he truly has…questionable taste. :/

    Christian is a man in some regards, but an exceptionally broken one, and Anna is no better though she appears to have no reason for her brokenness. It’s not a good tale in any aspect.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Tarnished says:

    Speaking of the research, do you have a link to the original study?

    Like

  10. molly says:

    Tarn we just realized we doubled up on posts 😐
    Cill said there was a slot for our post..

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Cill says:

    My fault. I thought FB had said he posts Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. I didn’t check the scheduling. Sorry girls.

    Like

  12. Cill says:

    I guess it’s time for a meeting with FB in the

    [WATER CLOSET]

    Like

  13. Cill says:

    Comments are closed in the WC.

    Like

  14. Cillhouette says:

    What should we do?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Cill says:

    Just carry on.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Tarnished says:

    Since this one was up first, I rescheduled the other post for 7pm tomorrow. Hopefully FB won’t be too pissed at me…it was all I could think of to keep it as close to “on time” as possible.

    Like

  17. Cillhouette says:

    Farm Boy, we’re so sorry 😦

    Like

  18. Cill says:

    Despite the gravity of the situation, I can’t help laughing at Tarn at 2:46 am LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Cillhouette says:

    Can we offer you a peace snack, Farm Boy:


    .
    . 🙂

    Like

  20. Cillhouette says:

    I bet you’d like to turn us into a dagobah swamp!

    Like

  21. Tarnished says:

    Lol, I’m more tired than I thought…I read Cill’s comment as “Despite the gravy of the situation”.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. molly says:

    Tarn the original study was by Daniel Bergner for his book “What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire”

    http://danielbergner.com/what-do-women-want/

    Liked by 1 person

  23. SFC Ton says:

    The question should be
    Can women love? My sources say no

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Cillhouette says:

    SFC Ton Your sources may be correct. I won’t know until I fall in love, which might be never. 😉

    Sumo your video “What is Love.. Baby don’t hurt me no more”.. predatory women eh?

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Tarnished says:

    My sources say no

    Your partners don’t seem to love you? They wouldn’t die in your stead?

    Liked by 1 person

  26. molly says:

    Sumo is a bad boy, eh. 😉

    Like

  27. Cill says:

    Tarn: “They wouldn’t die in your stead?”
    I don’t think nature “intended” the female gender to die for the male. I don’t have much doubt that you would, but that’s because you’re a gutsy little cobber.

    Liked by 5 people

  28. molly says:

    I would! Even if my foe went for my arms, I would ‘armlessly fight to the finish. Lol

    Liked by 4 people

  29. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    HI!!! I am back. All these references to food is making my mouth water. I am serious about better looking women being kinder to the opposite sex. It has to be because they are more secure.

    Molly!!!! I’m so hungry!

    Tarn,
    That Yoda meme is superb! It should be a regular fixture here.

    Liked by 4 people

  30. Cillhouette says:

    Fuzzie I’m serious too, in thinking we can cure the SMP with diet and exercize! If they improve their looks they will be more kind! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  31. molly says:

    Yeah! We’ll padlock the fat cows to escalators! We speed it up and make them run XD

    Liked by 1 person

  32. molly says:

    Fuzzie

    Liked by 1 person

  33. molly says:

    That’s you 😉 Round bear ears are under the red cap, eh.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Tarnished says:

    Cill,

    No, nature didn’t intend for the female to die for the male. In fact, the female body excels at survival more than the male…a longer digestive tract means more opportunity to seep nutrients from food, we handle heat waves better, we have a generally wider range of hearing and can tell more colors (important for avoiding toxic foods). And let’s not forget the fact that men are generally have greater strength because women have better fat and water stores instead of muscle, which is great for living off of in times of temporary famine.

    Unfortunately, in times of affluence like we have now these traits can become detriments and seen as “weaknesses” …but they are actually strengths that originally evolved to give the female of our species the best chance of survival in an environmental crisis.

    All that aside, I don’t think I’d be considering what Nature wanted if a car was barreling towards my love, or a shot rang out. My instinct would be to Protect, even at the cost of life or limb. Love is funny that way. 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  35. Cill says:

    Onya mate.

    Like

  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly!!!
    More hot dogs, please! I hope that my “like” function comes back up before bedtime.

    Tarn,
    I don’t want to find out the answer to that one. But, you do have a point about women and survial advantages. It all boils down to the reproductive bottleneck.

    Like

  37. molly says:

    I hope that my “like” function comes back up before bedtime

    Fuzzie use Chrome 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  38. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette and Molly,
    Getting them to lean up would be good. They’ll feel better about themselves and feel more secure.
    I don’t know about chaining them to escalators. Have you ever noticed how timid little old ladies are around them? Could escalators eat them like emoticons eat hot dogs?

    Liked by 1 person

  39. molly says:

    How come I’m ‘armless? Even buns have arms. Look up ^^

    Liked by 1 person

  40. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    All those hambugers waving at me! It is a feast for the eyes.
    I still want to see you playing drums for George Thorogood.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Mrs. Yoda says:

    Narcissism – Can Women Love without it?

    Yes we can

    Liked by 4 people

  42. Cillhouette says:

    The post is about food as much as narcissism. I wonder if we can join the two…
    Is female fatness due to narcissism? Me want me get. Me want cake me eat cake. Haha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Mrs. Yoda says:

    Normally Farm Boy posts on MWF he does.
    But post on Wednesday not he did.
    Blurkel posted in his stead.
    Wedneday’s post moved to Thursday it was.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Cillhouette says:

    Trust me to make it worse, Farm Boy! LOL

    Like

  45. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Mrs. Yoda,
    That has to be the most direct antifeminist statement that I have ever seen.
    “Yes we can.”
    Did not Gearge Patton say something about rushing to the defense of someone so eloquent?

    Cillhouette,
    Could it be that people are using food as a substitute for something that they should be feeding their spirit?

    Like

  46. Cillhouette says:

    “something that they should be feeding their spirit?”
    What would it be out of interest?

    Like

  47. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Could people be eating ice cream as a substitute for love or caring?

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Ok granted I did not read 50 shades or see the movie but the idea that submission is more about getting pleasure than giving it misses the point entirely. Actually both parties get pleasure in the give/take. It’s a yin/yang thing I cannot explain…

    Liked by 4 people

  49. A true Dom/sub relationship is not about abuse or whatnot. It’s mutually consentual, mutually rewarding. To be entered into carefully and thoughtfully? Yes. But all male/female relationships, know it or not, are Dom/sub. Surprise!

    Liked by 3 people

  50. Cillhouette says:

    Making themselves fat on icecream as the way the world should be… That is narcissistic.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Ps if you are male, best to be Dom. Sensual Dom preferably (google it.) sensual Doms have it made in the shade. Just sayin’ friend to friend here. Women do have an Achilles heel 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  52. molly says:

    Take away their icecream! Let them eat air 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    You wouldn’t be indicating a personal preference, would you?
    I have to say that I took Liz’s review at her word. This was confirmed by it comoing out on video a scant two months later. Well, maybe three.
    The last one that I talked to about this, she wanted to be the Dom and have me as the Sub.
    Id did take care of two Arab mares born six months apart. The older one was Dom. I think that the theme may be univesal.

    Cillhouette,
    Ice cream is not a substitute for love nor is a comfort for loneliness.

    Like

  54. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I just realized tht I have this thread allto myself with Blom, Cillhouette, and Molly for company. I am basking in female attention. No ice cream needed.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Cillhouette says:

    Bloom we were trying to say women’s attraction to the character Cristian Grey is narcissistic.
    We didn’t intend to relate the giving and receiving of pleasure to Dom/sub, althou I admit it could be read that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    From what I heard, the whole movie revolves around a mouse of a girl that lands the billionaire. This sounds more like a sucessful exercise in hypergamy.

    As for female narcissism, this may be the best talk I have found on it. She starts addressing narcissism at about ten minutes in.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Cillhouette says:

    Thank you for the video Fuzzie. I loved her narcissistic Womens Studies student: “I’m majoring in me!” 😀

    Like

  58. Liz says:

    Copying and pasting what seems to be the most pertinent portion of the article here:

    “What Do Women Want? also debunks the myth that whereas men need sex to feel intimate, women need intimacy to feel sexual desire. On the contrary, women crave being erotically worshipped, and nothing is more of an aphrodisiac than a fantasy involving a stranger.

    One psychology professor interviewed by Bergner says women’s desire is ”not relational, but narcissistic”, that is, it’s not about the connection with their partner, it’s about themselves. Research shows that compared with men, women’s erotic fantasies are less about giving pleasure than receiving it.

    ”The research [suggests] that intimacy, too much closeness, creating one soul out of two may lead away from heat, away from lust,” Bergner says.”

    What he is describing above is the desire to be desired. Yes, women are turned on by the fantasy that they are so irresistible a “hot” stranger is overwhelmed with lust for them. That’s a pretty standard fantasy. The kind of formula that sells books. It makes sense biologically (just in sheer physical reality of the act) they are the “receivers”. I wouldn’t call this narcism.

    I also think there’s vast difference between fantasy and reality. I like the reality of the partner I’m attracted to and have grown close to. He knows how to press my buttons, I know his, I like his smell, know his body….the actual reality of having sex and swapping body fluids with someone I don’t know, by contrast, nauseates me. Sex if far far better now than the first few times we had sex long long when we didn’t know each other as well. That doesn’t reflect on what I fantasize about. Most of what I fantasize about I’d actually hate in real life. For women (well, those of us that don’t have easy and effortless orgasms like Tarn…the majority of us) arousal is pretty nuanced and complicated. I think it’s because our testosterone is low it takes more to get us het up, and then over the hump into bliss.

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Liz says:

    I can say for us, it’s kind of the opposite. I get pleasure from giving it. But I’m not sure if that’s some sort of conditioning or if it’s inherent…perhaps a little of both. I’m not sure it matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. SFC Ton says:

    Why would I want them or anyone else to die in place? Or suffer on my behalf…. the concept is alien

    Women love opportunisticly. Nothing wrong with. It pays for them to do so in evolutionary terms. This does not bother me. It’s part of a red pill man’s calculations in life. Some small fraction of women do sacrifice for their man and/ or kids but most do not. A man has to reckon he bas the does not kind because that is the statistical probability and it’s better to be pleasantly surprised then have your legs cut out under you. Plus your plans will be fundamentally stronger if you consider the various points of failure and take action to mitigate them

    Part of the joys of sex is watching the girls enjoy themselves.

    Molly’s pots, though short are often a joy.

    Every human interaction has a Dom/sub component. If it’s more advance then how are you (an often those short ones too) their is a more dominate person and a less to not at all. Which why frame control is important

    Liked by 3 people

  61. Tarnished says:

    Could people be eating ice cream as a substitute for love or caring?
    There’s a book that was on the reading list for my Human Sexuality courses called I’d Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love my Low Libido. It was an autobiographical novel that detailed a year in the life of a 30-something woman who was trying to get herself to want sex with her boyfriend/fiance more. It was a weird read…they tried a lot of things, some of which sounded pretty hot or fun, but she never managed to make herself desire more.

    Like

  62. BuenaVista says:

    “What he is describing above is the desire to be desired. Yes, women are turned on by the fantasy that they are so irresistible a “hot” stranger is overwhelmed with lust for them. That’s a pretty standard fantasy.”

    And … 65% of women have rape fantasies.

    “Love” means radically different things to men and women. Men who don’t get this will get creamed. The narcissistic element in female love is that, in the reflecting pool of a (desired) male’s desire and affection, a woman achieves an expanded self-validation, perhaps some add’l status points with her friends, a sense of authority derived from his desire.

    Meanwhile the guy thinks, “She’s fun to be around.” Ton covered everything else.

    ***

    If there’s a woman who wants to be dominant in a sexual relationship, we have discovered a woman who has so completely confused her politics with her sexual desires that she is a walking/talking IED. I wouldn’t trust a man who wanted to be whipped and pissed on either.

    ***
    Therefore effective seduction often includes two features (they are not bugs, unless you’re a tired harridan like Maureen Dowd, about whom I have stories): one, be the reflecting pool of a woman’s desired impression of herself; two, take charge.

    The takeaways, in RP concept-speak, are: one, Nope, no woman loves you for who you are; she loves how she feels when you love *her*, so best had keep doing whatever it is that makes her feel privileged in your gaze; two, figure out how each woman works sexually (of course, they are all fucking different!) and … fly that plane.

    Liked by 3 people

  63. Tarnished says:

    This sounds more like a sucessful exercise in hypergamy.
    Effortless hypergamy, for those who haven’t had the pleasure misfortune to read the series. Ana only meets Christian because she interviews him on behalf of her sick college roommate…it literally took no effort on her part. He also immediately starts showering her with expensive gifts, like a first edition copy of a classic she casually mentioned was her favorite (Little Women, I think). And then he uses his money and power to find out her phone number, where she lives, what classes she’s taking, who her friends are, and literally begins stalking her irl. But she doesn’t find this creepy as fuck like a normal person would. Instead she’s overwhelmed by his “dedication” to her. It’s just so frickin strange until you remember this is honestly just 1 woman’s poorly written personal fantasy.

    For women (well, those of us that don’t have easy and effortless orgasms like Tarn…the majority of us) arousal is pretty nuanced and complicated.
    It would seem to be more due to the fact that the majority of women aren’t in a state of semi-arousal 24/7, than anything else. It’s only easy for me because I can’t not think about having sex many times a day. I’m not beginning the race from the Start line…I’m always already halfway there. Very little “glory” in that.

    Yes, women are turned on by the fantasy that they are so irresistible a “hot” stranger is overwhelmed with lust for them.
    Nope nope nope nope nope.
    Lol, seriously though, my love is the one with this fantasy, not I. 😛

    Why would I want them or anyone else to die in place? Or suffer on my behalf…. the concept is alien
    Didn’t say you’d want them to, scfton. I absolutely would not want any of my loved ones to die/suffer for me. *shudder* I guess it’s just a part of how I define the love I feel…”Would I die for this person?” If the answer is Yes, then obviously I care for them more than those I answer No to. However, it is not necessarily a two-way street; though I’d die for my love or my friends, I wouldn’t be upset if they wouldn’t do the same for me.

    Some small fraction of women do sacrifice for their man and/ or kids but most do not. A man has to reckon he bas the does not kind because that is the statistical probability and it’s better to be pleasantly surprised then have your legs cut out under you. Plus your plans will be fundamentally stronger if you consider the various points of failure and take action to mitigate them
    This is excellent advice.

    Semi-thread related question with a TW for Yoda:
    How many people here would engage in full (non-quickie) sex if they didn’t have a guarantee of orgasm?
    Just wondering, because I would not since that’s a large part of the appeal, but it sounds like some of the female commenters wouldn’t mind this so much. Please correct me if I’m wrong!

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Tarnished says:

    I wouldn’t trust a man who wanted to be whipped and pissed on either.

    How would you know you’ve met one, so as to determine your trust of him?
    (This may sound like a snarky question, BV, but I assure you it’s not.)

    Like

  65. Liz says:

    Tarn: “Yes, women are turned on by the fantasy that they are so irresistible a “hot” stranger is overwhelmed with lust for them.”
    Nope nope nope nope nope.
    Lol, seriously though, my love is the one with this fantasy, not I.”

    I’m sure Mike has fantasies like that…at least, fantasies of hot women he doesn’t know. But most male fantasies (I’m just going by things like Penthouse letters…think the section is called, uncoincidentally, Serendipity) are pretty direct. Guy calls for a pizza, woman delivers it, her top falls off and she says, “Wow, you’re hot” and they screw within a few paragraphs. Chick fantasies require a lot more ink…there’s a buildup, the stranger is described in more detail, his character is known, there’s more situational context offered to the reader and so forth. I think it’s the same for fantasies women build up in their minds that give them sexual pleasure. Maybe not, I only have my own (and I’ve been making up stories in my head all my life anyway…only about 10 percent or less of them involve sex).

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Liz says:

    Only have my own to go by, should’ve said.

    Like

  67. Liz says:

    Just to add, my fantasies are always centered around being desired/desirable but (again) I don’t know why that would be narcissistic. Men don’t fantasize about toothless hags and I don’t find that to be narcissistic.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Liz says:

    Just to add, thinking further. The article seems to kind of push for the idea that women aren’t living their lives as sexually fulfilled creatures only due to “artificial” social constraints. But I think those social constraints have been around for thousands of years for a reason.

    And honestly, I’m not even sure of that premise, because women are inherently far more risk adverse anyway. The costs of sexual profligacy (i.e. risk factor) have changed, and that is probably the key reason for the “sexual revolution” that this article seems to imply hasn’t gone far enough yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. I think I am ovulating. Just ignore me! Lol.

    As for no orgasam guaranteed, female orgasams are like a yeti. They come out of nowhere, and are rarely seen the same place twice. Expecting one is a guarantee almost it won’t happen. For men it almost always ends in orgasam and seems to not be considered “done” until it does. Women can have a perfectly lovely time with or without the big finish.

    Oh wait, I was going to stop talking… Oops!

    Liked by 2 people

  70. Liz says:

    Just to add, again (chatty cathy, moi), I think that risk aversion actually plays a bit into the rape fantasy. It simultaneously absolves her of making a “risky” decision, offers the confirmation that she is desirable…so desirable the man ravages her in spite of her protests, and the fantasy involves a man she actually wants to fuck (I’m assuming, I haven’t read much about female fantasies).

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Liz says:

    Lol Bloom! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Female fantisies can be pretty wacky, anyone who has read female erotica would see that. Why that is I have no idea. Mostly it’s like Liz says, only sexy in ones mind, not something she actually wants to live out. I guess some girls do but I have never felt the need to act any of that out irl. My life is complicated enough! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Liz says:

    I know the psychologist meme is that rape fantasies are about “shame” and society shames women yadda yadda, but I disagree. I think it’s as I described. Risk aversion and in the fantasy the forebrain isn’t allowed to make the choice. If anything, the illicitness aspect would actually add fuel the fantasy rather than the opposite.
    Fun topic! Okay, I’ll shut up now. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  74. I have not read 50 shades so I am only speculating but the whole handsome rich stranger obsessed with you is kindof standard chick fantasy. But like Tarn points out, irl it probably would be more like creepy and stalker ish. Even w the Dom/sub thing, most women may fantasize about it, even get worked up w a D/s light version of it, but few (including myself) want to take it to the full on extreme dungeon style thing. D/s *is* the male/female mating dynamic, which is what makes it sexy. It’s not as kinky as it all sounds. I really should stop talking! Lol.

    What you will never read in female erotica… He hesitatingly approached and said “Is this ok? Can I touch you here? Did that hurt? Are you ok?”

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Liz says:

    “He had soft, small, female hands and sheepishly begged her to be gentle with him…”

    Liked by 2 people

  76. To expand on D/s is the male/female dynamic… It’s like Ton said one has an outie and one has an innie. Guys probably can’t think of anything they’d like *less* than getting f’ed. Women otoh like it (consentually etc of course) It’s just the way the wiring works. Dont blame me, I just own the equipment, I didn’t design it!

    Do men get off on the idea of being dominant as much as (most, nawalt) women get off on being submissive?

    And of course saying women like being submissive is taboo scandalous enough. But the book didnt outsell Harry Potter (almost exclusively to women as well) because women were hating it… Just sayin’!

    Liked by 2 people

  77. Liz says:

    Thinking further, I do have one fantasy where Mike is tied up and I sort of torture him with arousal for a bit. That’s a fun one, but it’s not what I typically think about. Okay, now I’m really and truly done blabbing.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. 🐱Momma kitty report: I am sad to say that momma cat has gone missing. I hope she will return but I fear something has happened. Thanks to a farm gal friend am experienced orphan kitten caregiver was summoned and 🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱 adorable 3 week old kittens were placed in her care until they are old enough for adoption. I would have fostered them myself except I am hosting a three day farm conference for 50 people at my place this weekend. I know my limits. My run as a crazy cat lady was brief, down to one and (I hope, I hope!) God willing momma kitty will return yet. Life on a farm involves a lot of loss 😦

    Like

  79. BuenaVista says:

    “They come out of nowhere, and are rarely seen the same place twice. Expecting one is a guarantee almost it won’t happen.”

    Because Bloom has dated so many women, she knows the truth of this. Seriously? (OTOH, women experience the same things the same way every time, but … they’re usually unable to express themselves in the matter. Because a guy just needs to ‘get her.’)

    “For men it almost always ends in orgasam and seems to not be considered “done” until it does.”

    I guess men should better mimic the female sexual response. (OTOH, chicks should just get the guy off. It’s easier than making coffee, involves fewer steps, and there’s less risk of a clothing stain.)

    Like

  80. Liz says:

    Didn’t Bastiat have a post at JFG that mentioned the difference between validational sex and transactional sex…validational sex (obviously) preferable?
    How is that type of validation different from what is spoken of as “narcissism” in the article?

    Like

  81. Liz says:

    Also, consider the really crappy lay. Some (hypothetical) woman lies there in the starfish position and the guy feels like she really isn’t into it at all. Is the real problem that she isn’t enjoying it as much as the man would like her to? Or is the problem that she doesn’t make him feel desired? I think it’s more the last.

    Liked by 1 person

  82. Bv you are right, I have dated zero women. Just trying to be helpful…

    For a woman, and maybe for a man but not being one myself I can’t say, it is both physical and mental. The physical mechanics are fairly simple, rub the button, but if a gal isn’t in the mental space for whatever reason it ain’t happening. Tis a mystery. Or maybe not, I am not an expert or anything! 😉

    Like

  83. Liz says:

    I actually have a pretty hard time with oral sex (receiving, not giving). I find it very difficult to relax enough…the whole time I’m worried about him getting a kink in his neck, tiring and so forth. That’s actually ALL I can think about.

    Liked by 2 people

  84. Bv it is also true most women have a switch (or a few switches) that works nearly every time — trouble is unless they accidentally stumble across it, she truly may not know what that switch is herself. Not fair, I agree. But then again, maybe part of the fun? It’s the journey, not the destination 🙂

    La la la la….

    Like

  85. Exactly Liz. Women think all sorts of counterproductive things during “the deed.” I am not sure if men have that same type of commentary running in their head.

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Also good to note the female button is not where the action is happening which is part of the dilemma. Its inconvienently located a few inches north. The male version of said button is exactly in the optimal spot for stimulation. Why nature would do that I don’t know. I’m going w the yeti theory!

    Like

  87. Liz says:

    Lol! Well…there’s “another” button deep inside, Bloom.
    But that’s kind of a tricksy one. 😛

    “Women think all sorts of counterproductive things during “the deed.” I am not sure if men have that same type of commentary running in their head.”

    It probably varies with the individual, but I know Mike doesn’t have this sort of commentary in his head since we’ve actually had this discussion. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  88. BuenaVista says:

    This has become an amusing thread. We’re getting very close to “I feel, therefore I’m thinking. So listen up.”

    ***

    Liz, transactional sex simply occurs to acquire something. It’s the most common kind. Women agree to let some schlump “have some” because they want something; that schlump is usually her husband.

    Validational sex, to the contrary, is about a woman feeling validated, not the guy. He already knows he’s validated. Male 9’s don’t have sex with chubby bar girls because they’re in search of fantasy-fulfillment and narcissistic reward. If they did, they’d have more second dates with the chubby bar girls.

    Liked by 3 people

  89. Tarnished says:

    All Of The Trigger Warnings For Yoda!

    Also good to note the female button is not where the action is happening which is part of the dilemma. Its inconvienently located a few inches north.
    What???
    The underside/back of the clit is only about 3″ inside where “the action” is happening. This isn’t sensitive enough in more women? 😕

    Exactly Liz. Women think all sorts of counterproductive things during “the deed.”
    Why is that? My commentary is usually wordless, maybe some dirty talk that I’ll voice to him if it’s something coherent, lol.

    I actually have a pretty hard time with oral sex (receiving, not giving). I find it very difficult to relax enough…
    But then doesn’t this make it even more difficult for him to make it good for you? Does alcohol ever help?

    Some (hypothetical) woman lies there in the starfish position and the guy feels like she really isn’t into it at all.
    Lol. If she’s essentially just acting like a living Real Doll, I’d think she wasn’t into it either!

    Thinking further, I do have one fantasy where Mike is tied up and I sort of torture him with arousal for a bit
    Fun!

    For men it almost always ends in orgasam and seems to not be considered “done” until it does
    Well…yeah.
    Sorry, don’t mean to be sarcastic, but this part really confuses me. Doesn’t it, y’know, hurt or at least cause major pelvic discomfort to have sex without an orgasm? If you keep going up with the arousal but then don’t finish/peak, how does one decline back to normalcy without *some* pain/uncomfortable pressure? Does one’s arousal just…I don’t know…fade away without any consequences?

    Like

  90. Ahhhh, the second button! Touché!

    Yes this is a rather silly thread. But where else could we talk about such things? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  91. Tarn I am not sure I can explain it. No there is no discomfort or pain wo orgasm. What you are describing sounds more like how men might experience no happy ending. I have always considered an orgasm icing on the cake but I don’t go in expecting to have one. If I was focused on that it would likely only make it less likely.

    It is possible to override the counterproductive thoughts w ….wait for it…. Fantasies! Yep. Think dirty Liz! 😉 or in your case don’t think about dirt or germs or any of that! (Oh no we’re losing Liz to OCD thoughts!) Naughty I mean. Think naughty!

    Liked by 2 people

  92. We might need to start charging each other by the minute for this conversation! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  93. BuenaVista says:

    The starfish problem is that she’s either anti-sex or stupid or in punishment mode. Do I repeat myself? To say that a man is narcissistic because a woman offers the sexual charisma of a used truck tire is, perhaps, a stretch.

    Bloom, women who don’t know what they like, and are not curious, should stay home and crochet. (The way they used to.) Not afflict earnest lovers with their disinterest.

    Bloom, have you asked a lot of guys what’s in their heads while they’re doing it? (Careful, you may not enjoy the responses — if you actually can extract a response.)

    “Also good to note the female button is not where the action is happening which is part of the dilemma. Its inconvienently located a few inches north.”

    Somebody’s generalizing from her personal experience. I would have to get extremely graphic to refute, but if you think women are only motivated by their clits, again, you need to date more women. Bring toys. (And more than one, there are three orifices to be satisfied.)

    It’s been fun, and also ratifying. All women think their unique sexuality is primary, is something every man should understand — but they are ALL DIFFERENT. Try being a guy, faced with that!!!! Also, Bloom, when I was young, I typically thought about baseball: delay the moment and all. Lately, the thoughts are less humorous.

    Liked by 1 person

  94. Tarnished says:

    “Punishment mode”? Yech!
    That is just, ugh. No.

    Bloom, women who don’t know what they like, and are not curious, should stay home and crochet
    Agreed. One needs to vocalize about what one enjoys, doesn’t enjoy, wants to try, etc.

    Bloom, have you asked a lot of guys what’s in their heads while they’re doing it?
    Not a lot. Just one.
    Full of kinky goodness and talk of what we’d have another hypothetical guy/gal doing if they were present to play.

    And more than one, there are three orifices to be satisfied.
    Plus, boobs! And 2 holes for him! So many different ways to have fun. 😀

    …but they are ALL DIFFERENT
    Lol! One can see that, just from this thread alone.

    What you are describing sounds more like how men might experience no happy ending. I have always considered an orgasm icing on the cake but I don’t go in expecting to have one.
    That’s what I keep hearing/reading. Wonder why there’s so few women who get “blue clit”, and why it’s not a thing like “blue balls” is? It really does hurt, too. Kind of like if you got a light punch in your pelvis.

    We might need to start charging each other by the minute for this conversation! Lol
    Do you prefer PayPal or personal check?
    😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  95. Ok bv, I am not trying to be vexing, really I am not. I agree, it must be very frustrating for men to have to deal with this capricious sexuality of women. Indeed.

    I actually like sex. I like having sex, big O or not. I think its fun and creative and soulful and nourishing. I miss it. Sex, especially sex w someone you love and connect with on more than a mere physical level, is the good stuff. I really do need a mate! :/

    Liked by 1 person

  96. Tarnished says:

    Sorry, Bloom. 😦
    Yes…you need a good man to share life with. Are you actively looking again?

    Like

  97. Liz says:

    BV: ”The starfish problem is that she’s either anti-sex or stupid or in punishment mode. Do I repeat myself? To say that a man is narcissistic because a woman offers the sexual charisma of a used truck tire is, perhaps, a stretch.“

    I didn’t mean to imply that objecting to this behavior and/or finding it antithetical to arousal is narcissistic, and if I did I must have conveyed the idea very badly. But then on flip side, I also don’t understand why one’s private fantasies, whatever it might be that gets the person “off” would ipso facto be narcissistic either.

    I don’t find either of these things to be a display of narcissism. I’d trying to discern why one thing is different from the other. I don’t even care so much on a personal level really, so much as discussing why people think what they do interests me. Even thinking about why I think what I do interests me. It’s interesting to have this discussion with a different range of opinions.

    FWIW, Bastiat said the following regarding validational sex, in October of 2013 (has it really been almost two years?). It’s the first thing I found, it wasn’t the only time he brought up the matter, but it spells out pretty clearly what he intended the term to mean:

    ”I am a high sociosexuality/unrestricted male, so my desire to be loved can be readily separated from my desire to have sex. Still, I find that sex is not “emotionless” for me—-it almost always does have very strong emotional content, but the emotions triggered could probably be separated into:
    1) Excitement/Validation-Based Sexual Emotions
    2) Security/Comfort/Connection-Based Sexual Emotions

    These may exist within the same relationship: the first few times I have sex with a new partner, the emotions will tend to be from Category 1. I will feel good about myself, attractive, have a spring in my step, feel a rush of T and lowering of cortisol, etc. The intensity of the emotions that I experience tends to be associated with A) the SMV of the female (higher=more excitement); B) the circumstances of the event (what we did, how crazy it got, did we film it; did she use porn-type language, etc.); and C) the degree to which I feel that I was selected as an Alpha/Sperm Donor rather than as a Provider/Protector.
    On this last point: in other words, I will probably, if I am honest, gain more excitement and validation from a situation in which my *initial* economic investment and commitment were lower because this would make me feel like I am more of a Sperm Donor mate selection choice to the woman. Having the self-concept of being a “stud” greatly pleases my ego as it indicates that I am getting sex based on my own inherent qualities rather than via the exchange of resources.

    Anyway, time to go to the store. Hope everyone has a good day.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Choicy says:

    Molly and “Cillhouette” the reason women give less pleasure and receive more of it is that men are more proactive in sex. Bloom said there’s a dom/sub in all sex and I concur with her view. Men are the Dom and women are the sub so naturally she receives more pleasure and gives less. I think it is important to know, she gives him pleasure from the pleasure she receives. The actual physical pleasure he gets from this is so intense it blows his rocks right off into orbit, mate. I don’t mean that literally of course, my mates.

    Liked by 4 people

  99. Choicy says:

    “commentary in his head”? I can’t begin to imagine a commentary going on in my head during sex mate. As I am proactive during sex, it would be like an Aboriginee singing a trail into existence as he walks.

    Liked by 5 people

  100. Tarnished says:

    Interesting, Choicy.
    So then would it stand to reason that those who are Switches (Dom and Sub that change who’s in what role) would be more active in both giving and receiving?

    Liked by 2 people

  101. Choicy says:

    Tarn, during a switch I would still be the Dom even if she’s riding me like a rodeo star. Her being the Dom is only an act we go along with until it’s more fun to switch back to me, which it always is for us both.

    Liked by 4 people

  102. Tarnished says:

    Huh. Guess I’m the Dom in mine then, lol.

    Liked by 2 people

  103. Choicy says:

    Yeah Tarn someone has to shoulder the burden, mate. I better head to the sack for my 40 winks. 😉 Goodnight my mates.

    Liked by 2 people

  104. Cill says:

    Goodnight mate.

    Like

  105. Tarnished says:

    Truth, Choicy.
    There’s always the one person who initiates, is more active, more in control, etc…it *is* fun to play at being a Sub though! 😉

    Have a good sleep, mate.

    Like

  106. SFC Ton says:

    Commentary in my head….
    LOL I’ll keep doing fucked up shit until she leaves…. but they don’t leave. They only get attached

    Like

  107. M says:

    Bloom have you considered having a realtionship of the type Tarn describes of herself and her FwB, except *both* monogamous? You have to trust each other with the “monogamous”, yet he’s the one you’re interested in so you must at this time see a strong possibility of integrity in him, no? You could arrange get togethers when possible and the distance could make it easier to part if things don’t work out.

    I wish you all the best Bloom. You *will* get there. It happens 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  108. Liz says:

    “That’s what I keep hearing/reading. Wonder why there’s so few women who get “blue clit”, and why it’s not a thing like “blue balls” is? It really does hurt, too. Kind of like if you got a light punch in your pelvis.”

    That’s interesting, Tarn. I’ve never heard of this, nor experienced it. But if Mike isn’t around I just take care of the problem on my own so maybe that’s why it never comes up. 😛
    OTOH, I do have “pain” but it’s ovulation pain I feel (I can tell which side the egg is releasing from, when it happens…can last a couple of days even).

    Liked by 1 person

  109. M I will ponder the option. That might work. Although to be honest long distance and gaps of time are neither of our cups of tea. He’s marriage minded and wants me there w him and I get that. Big decisions…

    Liked by 2 people

  110. M says:

    BTW folks, about the Dom/Sub thing. He is *the* Dom and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I mean like into orbit with pollen all round LOL

    Liked by 3 people

  111. Liz says:

    This thread is making me feel funny. In places.

    Liked by 3 people

  112. Liz says:

    “Hear comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus making his O face….”

    No idea where that came from. It just shot out. In a burst…

    Liked by 3 people

  113. Liz says:

    Good stuff for my Pimpin’ Ma Ho Ho Ho Christmas edition.

    Liked by 4 people

  114. M says:

    Tarn I think I might have “Blue clit” at times. It’s not sore but it’s too intense to ignore and can last for a day or more. I can’t make it go away with self-stimuklation as it’s an aching longing for *him*. HE is the only cure. He will “take” me completely and the relief is OMG.

    Liked by 1 person

  115. Tarnished says:

    Liz,
    Have you gotten into the liquor cabinet again? 😉

    Bloom,
    It may be worth it just to ask your potential suitor if that’d work for him. My lifestyle is definitely not for everyone, and certainly not for anyone who is marriage/commitment minded. But if he agrees to be monogamous FwB…well, it’s not the best for your situation, but it might be better than nothing.

    Liked by 2 people

  116. Moehau Man says:

    Yes well, happy to oblige.

    Liked by 2 people

  117. Tarnished says:

    M,

    My lawd, my lawd.
    I do declare it’s gettin’ a mite warm in here.
    *fans self with a kerchief*

    Lol.

    Good to hear you are enjoying yourselves. 👍❤

    Liked by 5 people

  118. M says:

    I’m reminded of the bawdy old song I’ve heard the boys bellow out “followed by 40 maidens riding on their cycles”. I don’t know about 40… 3 or 4 maybe?

    I should shut up at this point. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  119. M says:

    Have a nice day everyone! I have an urgent voyage ahead of me. 😉
    Bye now

    Liked by 1 person

  120. molly says:

    O.. M.. G..
    (O My Giddy Aunt heh heh)
    😀
    Yo!
    Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  121. Liz says:

    “I mean like into orbit with pollen all round LOL”

    This makes me look at M’s gravatar image in a totally different way.
    Is that…pollen I see among those flowers? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  122. Sumo says:

    I guess it’s true – the Internet really IS 95% porn….

    Liked by 3 people

  123. molly says:

    (cough)
    (choke)
    (snort)

    Just kidding (heh heh)

    Mum taught me about this hot stuff since I was little. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  124. molly says:

    Nuts for President! Yay!
    If I could voter I’d vote for the Nuts – McCubbins ticket. A cat for VP would attract heaps of spinster votes, eh.

    Liked by 2 people

  125. molly says:

    .
    LOL!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  126. Cillhouette says:

    Nuts pulls my ropes he hoists my sails Mwahaha! Move aside McCubbins here I come! LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  127. Liz says:

    It just dawned on me that one female blogger who advocates celibacy in marriage closed her blog on the day Ashley Madison dumped its data (the 16th). Might be a coincidence, just throwing that out there like a gossipy evil clam (I dont’ wish this poster ill at all, she seems like a nice person…hella coincidence though. Of course, might just be coincidence).

    Liked by 3 people

  128. Sumo says:

    I dont’ wish this poster ill at all, she seems like a nice person…

    If she’s advocating celibacy in marriage then I wish her ill. I wish her piles and piles of genital warts. And regular warts. And plantar warts. Warts everywhere!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  129. molly says:

    Yeah

    Liked by 1 person

  130. Liz says:

    Lol Sumo. 🙂
    Yes, the celibacy in marriage angle was very weird I thought. Beyond weird.

    Liked by 1 person

  131. Liz says:

    “Liz,
    Have you gotten into the liquor cabinet again?”

    Tarn, some day I’m going to actually post after having a couple of drinks and you’re in for a real treat!
    😛

    Liked by 4 people

  132. molly says:

    Yeah Liz! Cool! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  133. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    After seeing your comment at 2:12pm, I couldn’t resist linking this.

    Stay cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  134. Cillhouette says:

    Why have celibate marriage? Traditionally a celibate marriage was unconsummated, and null and void. You exited it by annulment instaed of divorce. Who except fruitcakes would want celibate marriage?

    Liked by 4 people

  135. Liz says:

    “Who except fruitcakes would want celibate marriage?”

    Probably asked and answered in the same question, Cilhouette. 🙂

    I’m kind of surprised people actually used their government e mail accounts for the Ashley Madison site (at least, according to the news). When Mike worked at DARPA a woman was fired for running her escort business through her DARPA e mail account. Dumb people surround us.

    Liked by 2 people

  136. Liz says:

    Forgot to answer this bit:
    Tarn: “I actually have a pretty hard time with oral sex (receiving, not giving). I find it very difficult to relax enough…”
    But then doesn’t this make it even more difficult for him to make it good for you? Does alcohol ever help?”

    Yes, it’s very difficult for me to enjoy receiving oral sex. It’s not my preferred thing. Alcohol does NOT help, for sure.

    Like

  137. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cillhouette,
    There have to be a lot of women marrying late in life. As Chris Rock puts it to guys, “You weren’t her first choice.” They get into the marriage because they want to be married.After a beta gets the short end from middle school to his thirties, he finds one of these and it is the last nail.

    Liz at 10:21pm,
    It may be coincidence but, even if it is, I am sick of seeing people turning marriage into a vehicle for fraud.
    Another thought about Ashley Madison. With a six to one male to female ratio, it had to be another exercise in futility for men. I’d bet that eighty percent of their accounts were idle.

    Bloom,
    I should have let my instincts lead me. You have them eating out of your hand.

    Sorry to hear about Mommacat. At a guess, I don’t think her absence is voluntary. I don’t think that she would abandon her kittens this late. Be glad for the times you had with her.
    More pranks.

    Liked by 3 people

  138. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    To add to the Ashley Madison stuff, there have to be a lot of married women keeping profiles on single dating sites. They never go out, they just gather attention.

    Like

  139. molly says:

    Fuzzie I would headbutt them if I could. Serve them right if Sumo does “Who’s yer Daddy” on them.

    Liked by 1 person

  140. Liz says:

    “To add to the Ashley Madison stuff, there have to be a lot of married women keeping profiles on single dating sites. They never go out, they just gather attention.”

    But don’t they have to pay for that? Seems like a waste, and also a risk (unless they aren’t actually married).
    There are surely an abundance of free places they can attention whore and that sort of thing? Tinder for one.

    Like

  141. Sumo says:

    Serve them right if Sumo does “Who’s yer Daddy” on them.

    Yeah…..no. I don’t go anywhere near married women.

    Liked by 2 people

  142. Sumo says:

    In the Biblical sense, I mean.

    Liked by 2 people

  143. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Molly,
    You can’t head butt them. You really never know who they are and the worst you could do is to leave them a message telling them how you feel.

    Liz,
    OkCupid and Plenty of Fish are free. Thyey rely on ad dollars for revenue.
    NGTOW youtuber Patrickhenryist’s marrige explodes when he caught his wife on OkCupid. She called the cops and sid the right words. He was never allowed to go home again.
    Most of the rest are by subscription. I am going to presume that couples have seperate accounts to avoid discovery.

    Like

  144. molly says:

    Sumo XD

    Liked by 1 person

  145. Spawny Get says:

    No bidet, but wc ready for action

    Liked by 1 person

  146. BuenaVista says:

    Liz, I take your point. But.

    Seb’s definition of “validation” sex isn’t self-loving narcissism. It isn’t an activity designed to elevate his sense of self. It’s actually simple self-actualization: it’s a woman, for a few moments, loving a man just for who he is. A woman valuing him independently of his utility of performance. This is extremely rare.

    Everything else in the SMP is a trade, and thus transactional. The challenge for a romantic man is distinguishing between a woman offering sex for cash and prizes, and sex out of a desire to honor and understand. Even she will be confused as to her motives, or at least be unable to articulate them.

    You have a healthy thing going with the Mike, so perhaps this seems odd to you. But your situation is unusual in the extreme.

    Liked by 4 people

  147. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Buena Vista,
    I have to agree with you. It is sad that it is unusual. In the meanwhile, aviation video.

    Liked by 1 person

  148. Cill says:

    A 69’er is worth a shot 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  149. Liz says:

    Lol Ton. Nope.
    Don’t like that one either.
    It’s too hard for me to concentrate on him when he’s there on me, plus it’s an awkward position for giving head. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  150. SFC Ton says:

    Just a suggestion. I figure is she wants it licked she’ll get a girlfriend

    Bloom…. How long ago was it woo as Bloom and now you have another option…..

    Liked by 1 person

  151. Tarnished says:

    Liz,

    Sex TW for Yoda and anyone else! Lol.

    My issue with 69 is similar…except I find it too difficult to concentrate on my pleasure. He enjoys the position, so we’ll do it, but then I get to lie back or straddle his head and have *my* turn.
    I actually prefer to just take turns with oral, because I can have my fun then switch position and really go to town on him with oral plus a prostate toy. 😈

    Liked by 1 person

  152. Tarnished says:

    I figure is she wants it licked she’ll get a girlfriend

    So if he wants it licked, should he get a boyfriend? 😂😉

    Like

  153. SFC Ton says:

    If she isn’t sucking my cock whats the point in having her around?

    Like

  154. Ton, “Bloom…. How long ago was it woo as Bloom and now you have another option….” I am not sure what you mean. Too soon? Or was that a “see, stuff works out!” Or???

    Yes I agree hens need a rooster. He doesn’t lay eggs of course but he fertilizes them so they can have chicks. And he is the one who watches for danger, warns the girls, directs them while finding food, tells them it’s time to get up or go to bed. Plus he’s a general badass. I like his crowing. When I have music night, he crows along with the musician! He’s a Rhode Island Red, this one.

    Liked by 1 person

  155. Oh and of course if there is danger the rooster will defend the gals, putting his life on the line, fighting to the death so they can get back to the coop. I have had many noble roosters. Sniff. Darn coyotes and dogs!

    Like

  156. Tarnished says:

    I don’t know, scfton…my love isn’t *always* down between my legs, but somehow I find his company enjoyable anyway.
    😛

    Maybe it has to do with our shared interests and hobbies? I imagine the ladies in your life don’t know much about/like the same things you do…

    Like

  157. Tarnished says:

    The next rooster Bloom should get:

    Lol. Probably not if her hens are attracted to fluffy things though. He might end up…henpecked. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  158. Liz says:

    Deez Nuts sounds like a leader with some balls.

    Liked by 1 person

  159. SFC Ton says:

    They like getting fucked by me; I like fucking them. What else is there?

    Cannot see a man who has a lot in common with a woman scoring high on the man card.

    Like

  160. SFC Ton says:

    My favorite roster as a kid was a Red. Love that bastard. Was bummed when we ate him but he turned into a rapist

    Should have fought him

    Liked by 1 person

  161. SFC Ton says:

    My point is you are good looking so therefore have options

    Liked by 1 person

  162. Tarnished says:

    It’s not so much a man having a lot in common with a woman. It’s two nerds having a lot in common with each other.

    Liked by 2 people

  163. Tarnished says:

    We both like role-playing games, boardgames, renaissance faires, comic books, videogames, hobby conventions, collecting and painting minatures, and reading sci-fi or fantasy novels. Of course, we have our differences…when he was in high school, he was in ROTC whereas I was in science clubs. I like Anne McCaffrey, Ray Bradbury, and Issac Asimov but he likes George RR Martin and Raymond Feist best. He prefers 5th edition D&D in a Forgotten Realms setting…I like 3.5 in Eberron. He’s a Christian, I’m a Pagan. We both like superhero and action movies, but he’ll watch rom-coms whereas I won’t.

    Other than when we have sex, our genitals don’t really have much to do with our friendship. We like enough of the same things to be very good friends, but are different enough to also not be carbon copies. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  164. Least this seem untrue, it is something I think some men are unaware of… Available and attractive are often sought aggressively by multiple suitors, almost everywhere they go. Even when I am on a date men will brazenly give me ioi’s. I do nothing to encourage that and actually will a to sly ignore it in respect for my date but men should know, competition is fierce and some will aggressively pursue so all men should aggressively pursue would be my advice. The game moves quickly and a relentless male can steal the prize. Male family members used to screen for this but today not so. Talking to the suitors right up front that I seek marriage tends to beat them back pretty effectively 😉 narrows the field anyway! And what I seek is pretty specific and hard to find so that narrows it further.

    But for example one in hot pursuit, he is doing everything and anything to get some of my time. Already making offers of commitment, flattering me, trying to win my affections. And he’s good looking, a natural. But he’s just divorced and rebounding so I am politely doing my best not to crush reject him while holding him off. It’s akward. He’s a nice guy, just not ready.

    Liked by 1 person

  165. Spawny Get says:

    I can broadband…so obviously, I’m off down the local to celebrate

    Liked by 3 people

  166. Cill says:

    Hang on, I’ll come with you.

    Liked by 3 people

  167. Spawny Get says:

    Cill, it’s your round, I reckon

    Liked by 3 people

  168. Cill says:

    Fairy Nuff.

    What are you having?

    Liked by 2 people

  169. Spawny Get says:

    Stella tortoise

    Liked by 3 people

  170. Liz says:

    Hope you two gents are having fun. 🙂
    You can think up slogans for Deez Nuts’ presidential campaign.
    I think he has it in the bag.
    Wonder if anyone will get sacked?

    Okay, I’m voting for this guy. I have to. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  171. Cill says:

    What? Have you finally given up on your Dame Ednas, mate?

    Like

  172. Cill says:

    I think you should reconsider, mate. Your Dame Ednas were rather special, after all.

    Like

  173. Cill says:

    Liz:

    Nuts or Nuttin’

    Liked by 2 people

  174. Cill says:

    Nuts will bolt in

    Liked by 2 people

  175. Cill says:

    We’ve got ’em by the Nuts

    Liked by 2 people

  176. Cill says:

    Nuts won’t hang for Hillary’s cock up.

    Liked by 2 people

  177. Cill says:

    Be hip with swingin’ Nuts

    Liked by 2 people

  178. Cill says:

    Put Nuts in the Oval Orifice

    Liked by 2 people

  179. Cill says:

    Turn of the Nut

    Liked by 2 people

  180. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    “If Ifs and buts were candy and nuts, then every day would be Christmas.” -Don Meridith

    Liked by 1 person

  181. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    It is beginning to sound like you’ll need help. As in women to pick up your overflow.
    If you have a waist, that makes you very rare. I had thought that htey had gone out of fashion.

    Liked by 1 person

  182. blurkel says:

    From my many decades of life in Uncle Scam’s Land, I propose that in America, narcissism is how girls are raised to be women. Everything in life, they expect to center around them, their wants, and their needs.

    If one looks at commercial activities, there is some support for this idea. Cars, guns, motorcycles, etc., are sold to men as if they are toys. Things like liquor and tobacco tend to be presented as the means to a good time, and women are always gorgeous and silent accoutrements.

    Few practical items are pitched to men as necessities of life, unlike as so many others are to women. It seems to me that only make-up and personal appearance enhancements are sold to women as if playthings. Everything else is intended to aid her in making all of the necessary decisions on how to maintain modern life. She has the power, and she’s expected to use it.

    A man once expressed his marital relationship to me in similar terms. He made all of the big decisions: who ran for president, which nation to wage war against, whether or not climate change was real, and so on. His wife made all of the small decisions: where they lived, where their kids went to school, when to buy necessities and when a frivolous expenditure could be allowed, and what to buy for dinner.

    Who really made the important decisions? As such, they get to be catered to, and have all of their needs met. After all, its vital they survive happily lest humanity come to a sudden demise!

    Like

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