This post is in answer to Tarn here and here . Tarn’s comments were made with reference to “Wisdom of the Ages” for girls, which is here.

I think that for boys, setting the standard by example is the best teacher of all. To the extent that this wisdom is old hat, it is wisdom of the ages for boys. The difference is, it’s not verbally compiled. There’s no written list of rules passed down through the generations specifically for boys. I don’t believe there needed to be. The good role models were sufficient. The good role models still would be sufficient had not feminism, the most unnatural force of all time, arrived on the scene to destroy gender in general and the bogeyman Patriarchy in particular.

In this post I’m talking about my parents and relatives on my mother’s side. I’m not talking about relatives on my father’s side, or in-laws. I’m speaking for the descendents of my maternal Great Grandmother only.


We grew up in stable homes with both natural parents in nuclear families. We had the role models of our fathers and 3 generations of men alive in my time. Also, from the examples set by three generations of women, we grew up knowing what the effectual woman talks like, acts like, and (most crucially of all) treats men like.

We had a lot of exposure to females all through our lives. Most of us grew up with sisters, but those who were sisterless shared a lot of interaction with female cousins and their female friends. We had an easy familiarity with girls at school. Girls used to approach some of us for personal advice. To me this was no more strange than giving advice to my sisters.

We saw nothing special about girls. Although the system tried to hammer the inferiority of boys into us, we knew it was false. Some of us got into strife with feminist teachers and had to be home-schooled by parents.

We are bored by most women. It’s not easy for people to humiliate or fool you when they bore you. I’m not being arrogant in making these statements, any more than it’s arrogant to say the average quality of Western women is low. That’s why women keep looking at us, wondering what we are seeing. They also want to be the one who is with us – to be “validated”.


Unfortunately, not much. I’d doubt that an instruction course could instil the confidence that comes from “role models” in men. A man is either lucky enough to be born into a conducive “role models” environment, or not. Less and less boys are so lucky these days.

We are very aware that few women measure up to the standards of our female relatives. That’s the reason why at the age of 30 I’ve only had one relationship (an extremely good one) that goes beyond sex, and why my married male relatives have selected wives for successful marriages.

In Wisdom of the Ages for girls the authors said men are attracted to the family because they see successful relationships in it. For the same reason, women are attracted to the men of the family – and they tend to be the right sort of women.


Just the old stuff we’ve always known about. Masculinity, confidence, loyalty, affability, integrity, dependability, consistency, leadership, rationality and reason, strength and respect.


The post Wisdom of the Ages for girls was not an exhaustive coverage of the wisdom handed down. For example they did not mention their rule that a wife should not interfere with a husband’s male space or resent his time spent with his friends. Nor did they mention their selection guidelines.

The qualities a woman should look for in a Man include good masculine role model.

Also, the women knew very well the power of beauty and conspicuous healthiness to increase the number of men to choose from. The desired qualities for a male mate certainly included healthiness and the kind of rugged masculinity that passes feminine good looks to female offspring. I don’t know the scientific explanations for it, but in my family it amuses the hell out of me to see one example after another of ultra rugged dads with ultra feminine daughters.

Thus the female generations did their utmost to give their daughters every chance, in passing down beauty and healthiness along with advice. And did they succeed? Well, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

I’m sure some of you will have realized that Wisdom of the Ages for girls set the scene for sons as well. In selecting the fathers, the mothers ensured the right role models for the sons.


  1. The deal. A good deal is one where both sides win.
  2. Application: Honor a good deal as you honor your life.
  3. Trust: Trust your partner to apply #2
  4. Vigilance: At the first sign of breach of #3, confront it face to face.
  5. Peace: Don’t hold a grudge. Let it go.

In business and life, including marriage, he has done well out of applying those principles.


Mum is very feminine in appearance and mannerisms. Dad is the opposite extreme (masculine). Yet in a lot of ways my parents are actually very much alike.

To take just one example: my Dad spends no time observing animals. His interaction with them is matter-of-fact. If they are there in front of him, he’ll enjoy their company, if they’re not, he’ll neither miss them nor spare them a thought. The irony is that animals just love my Dad, with his direct, “larger than life”, no nonsense personality. After thinking about it, I was surprised to realize that my Mum vis-a-vis animals is identical to Dad. She’s just a lot more more fluffy and cooey about it.

Both are natural leaders. Mum has run her own businesses employing hard outback men who would throw themselves on the fire rather than let her get hit by a spark. They love her because “she is a lady.”

Dad leaves most of the decisions around the house to Mum. Dad’s leisure room and home office and workshop are exclusively his. Dad has taken charge of the outside, including the garden sheds and garage. Mum chooses the furniture. Dad chooses the car.

Mum made the decisions for us when we were little and throughout our periods of dependency. However in the big discussions (our education, support for career choices) Dad took over. To put it figuratively as well as literally, he decides which country we live in while she decides which house.


I remember an occasion when Mum pestered Dad until he’d had enough. He suddenly roared out “Right, that’s it! You’re outta here.” He then turned to Mum and announced in a falsetto Enid Blyton voice, “You may come back. But only if I like you. And I’m not sure that I like you yet.” In spite of herself, Mum had to laugh. It was impossible to be mad at my Dad for long.



Posted in Cill, Marriage
101 comments on “TEACHING BOYS
  1. Tarnished says:

    Thanks so much, Cill. This information is exactly what I was curious about. Sounds like your relatives play very well to their respective strengths and run an effective home while deliberately managing to rarely step on each others toes.

    Were that there was a life course men and women could take that would allow a few weeks in such a setting. Women and men alike need to see that the War of the Sexes is NOT how it has to be! Fewer and fewer of us seem to believe this, much less have direct experience with it.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Cill says:

    Tarn, perhaps I should set up my farm as Cill’s Spouse-Finishing School. It would include an Asian massage parlour for the men and a Caucasian male strip show (me) for the ladies. You could train the wives to switch their men with scented boot laces while Fuzzy could proffer his ursine rump for the switching (I’ll stay out of that one). Yoda could conduct a course in sex by Jedi mind tricks and his wife could teach the gals to make sammies (sammiches to you).

    No sense in any of this unless we’d enjoy it. Would we enjoy It?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Tarnished says:

    Lol. For that good a time at least some alcohol would need to be involved, mate. Surely you and Choicy could procure a drop or two? Also, while your idea of using scented boot laces *does* sound fun, it’s perhaps not quite what bears enjoy… 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sumo says:

    Boot laces….? Y’all remember that The Mighty Sumo is also a mighty whip maker, yeah?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cill says:

    Alcohol… sure. I’ll have my homebrewed “Draught Down Under” on tap plus all the Chivas that fell off the back of a truck and eventually found it’s way here. I won’t put Choicy on grog supplies or he’ll stock the place up with Fosters and drive the customers away…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Sumo says:

    Whenever I think about Cill and Choicy hanging out, in my head it looks a lot like this:

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Cill says:

    Whips! There’s a thought…

    We could have a Sumo’s Sadism course. Sumo could learn something out of it by watching my Roman-style released ropes in action. He could introduce them to his course. I tried them out on my own arse once and couldn’t sit down for a week.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sumo says:

    Yeah, I really do want to see those ropes in action.

    On someone else, of course.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Cill says:

    Men at Work… yeah that’s Choicy and me in our suds. (Note “Choicy and me” is grammatically correct here). Our beer-pouring method is basically the same, fast and efficient.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Tarnished says:

    Whips, eh?
    Probably rougher than me and mine prefer. Floggers are nice, though…

    Maybe Bloom, Fuzzie, or Liz should bring some wine?

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Cill says:

    I’m sitting here scratching my head thinking, what the hell role will we give Brother Blurkel?


  12. Cill says:

    Bloom, Fuzzie, Liz, you heard! You bring the wine. Bloom will be on bubbly, Fuzzy because he’s been in the business, and Liz… well, only if she’s not driving.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Cill says:

    I got it! Brother B could bang their heads together and send them packing.


  14. Cill says:

    …after their cheques have been cleared, of course.


  15. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I don’t know about boot laces to my posterior. I hope that she doesn’t take up bear hunting. She could turn my butt into a pincushion. OUCH!

    I’m so glad that she lives in Murmansk. Easy to avoid.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    You’re right about role models just needing to be there to set an example. Feminism has done a double whammy. First, husbnda/dads are chased out of the house. Then, male teachers get chased out of school.
    One blogger said that when he sees a bunch of kids, they go wild. They climb all over him like a jungle gym.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Cill says:

    Yeah Fuzzy, In NZ men are in demand just to give fatherless children some experience with men. Usually I only speak to the kids but if I have time to play with them they climb all over me like ants.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    If feminism took hold in Outer Mongolia, kids would climb all over us there too. *big happy face*


  19. SFC Ton says:

    Dependability etc drys up vaginas. Good to go with men not so much with women

    Projection that is


  20. Cill says:

    No sign of feminism in Outer Mongolia yet.


  21. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    A concept for a B movie classic: Big Red in Outer Mongolia.
    The “P, P, P, Patriarchy” heard round the world.


  22. Cill says:

    Imagine dumping Big Red out on Choicy’s farm in the boonies. She’d find herself alone without the sisterhood. Can you picture her face when she discovers her voice is as useless as glass on a dunny door?

    I can picture Big Red trying to bawl down a Big Red kangaroo. The roo would automatically whack her on the jaw with a fist, or disembowel her with its feet. It’s best not to play the idiot with a Big Red roo.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Yoda says:

    Only room for be Big Red there is.


  24. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    What if they made friends and started singing duet?
    It’s too terrible to think about.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. molly says:

    Big Red with aa Big Red! One whack and BR goes down!
    Her mouth open like a big round O


    Liked by 1 person

  26. I am not sure about the scented boot laces and Fuzzie’s bum! Lol. I think that was what someone he met online offered to do to him, not what he desired but I should let the bear speak for himself! Oh vay you all are silly!

    Bubbly, check! Consider it done 👍

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Cill says:

    Bloom I just assumed that an ursine rump would be twitching for a switching. We don’t have bears in NZ but I guessing they’d play rough. Anyway, scented bootlaces are nothing really. Now the Roman-style released rope is a different matter altogether…

    Liked by 1 person

  28. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I think that it would much more fun to be dressed in a toga and all the ladies feed me grapes.
    No doubt, the guys would find this boring as can be.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. Cill says:

    Good idea Fuzzy. You’d be doing all this for the ladies so it doesn’t matter what the guys think of it.


  30. Sumo says:

    While I will admit that these Roman-style ropes sound pretty damn cool, a Whip by Sumo will slice a mofo open. Even a mofo with a thick, ursine hide. Granted, I’ll admit that that isn’t exactly the pinnacle of customer service, but the facts are the facts, y’all.


  31. Cill says:

    Sumo, while I admire your dedication to the cause, homicide would be taking it a bit too far even if they are begging for it.

    I tested the Roman ropes at 25% of max tension and I haven’t cried like that since I was a baby.


  32. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Not homicide, ursicide. OUCH!
    Sumo, I am going to keep lots of distance between myself and your whips. I saw something about sonic booms and whips make their own when they crack. More OUCH!


  33. Sumo says:

    Not homicide, just a wee bit of torture. Totally non-lethal. There would be a few scars, but those scars would come with pretty cool stories to share. So, win-win.


  34. Cill says:

    It’s a different kind of pain. The ropes are thick. At full strength they’d break bones.


  35. Sumo says:

    Don’t doubt it at all. A whip has the potential to do the same.

    Side note: the first whip I ever made was a blatant rip-off of a design by a Kiwi – http://www.thewhipman.co.nz/Latigo_y_Dage_whip.html


  36. Cill says:

    I haven’t made a whip since I was in my teens. I made them out of plaited flax and leather. I made a lot of them to test for the most effective length.


  37. Cill says:

    Yours is what we called a shot whip. Yes they can break bones.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Ummm, I am not sure what to say. I thought this was fun, not warfare! Too much! Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Maybe I am not following this at all, which is completely possible. How embarrassing if so. Lalala…

    Liked by 2 people

  40. molly says:

    With a whip I could teach Big Red tricks! XD
    Shut the f*ck up…
    Shut the f*ck…
    Shut the…

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Ps I am afraid to even search the term “roman style release ropes.” What kind of blog are you all running here anyway?!?!?! Lol


  42. Cill says:

    Bloom I wasn’t like this until you advised me to howl along with Dog on a clifftop under a full moon. It did things to me that can’t be undone.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Happy to have touched your life Cill! 🙂 I bet dog enjoys it too!

    Liked by 3 people

  44. fuzziewuzziebear says:


    Do you have any grapes?

    You can say wencouraging things since you have no arms to feed me grapes with.

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Cill says:

    Next mission is to teach Fuzzy to howl with Dog and me. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a howl. Any long drawn-out mournful sound will do. Maybe if we get Molly to snatch away your food..

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Howling at the Moon

    By Bloom
    Recovering poet and overly chatty blog commenter who means well

    On a cliff above the waves
    Every 30 or so days
    Appear a man and his dog
    Under cloak of misty fog
    Across the crashing waves below
    Their howls at the moon do echo
    For once the howling has begun
    It never can be undone
    But better this than to forgo
    The haunting duet they now love so!

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Fuzzy I think the grape feeding toga idea sounds much more fitting than the scented shoelaces! Bears deserve respect!

    Liked by 1 person

  48. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Ahhhhhh Ooooooooooooooo!

    Liked by 1 person

  49. molly says:

    I won’t even take away food in jest. Nope.

    Liked by 2 people

  50. molly says:

    Why not ask Fuzzie to imagine himself locked in a phone booth with Big Red?

    Liked by 1 person

  51. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    There are times when I wish that I could “like” a comment many more times. 7:06am is one of theose.

    For a truly horrific thought, both of us in a phone booth and Big Red is feeling amorous.


    In this video, I don’t know what these humans are up to but, it looks to be unnecssesarily dangerous.

    Liked by 2 people

  52. Cill says:

    Excuse me while I head out with Dog to howl at the moon. I’ll be back in 2 shakes of a dog’s hind leg.

    Liked by 1 person

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Ahhhhhhhhh Oooooooooooooo!


  54. Choicy says:

    Sumo those 2 jokers are too wimpy for Cillo and me mate. Those Men at Work wimps wouldn’t know what real work is, although they do slosh the grog around like a couple of blokes from Down Under.

    I haven’t used a fighting whip, mate. I use bullwhips


    Liked by 2 people

  55. Choicy says:

    And just in case you’re wondering, pink does not mean gay. It indicates the wearer is willing to give a hickey, mate.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Choicy says:

    I think your post nailed it Cillo. Boys need the role models of their fathers, mate. Fatherless boys only have the male role models they see in the media, which makes us look like idiots compared with the little miss perfects. The media have tiny little feminist minds as mean as cat’s piss. The only men fatherless boys can look up to any more are prominent sportsmen, mate.

    Liked by 4 people

  57. Cill says:

    As someone said, there’s not much hope when we have a choice between sycophantic male feminists and female feminists for President or Prime Minister.

    Liked by 3 people

  58. padawan says:

    de King o’ de End (Apologies to “Idi Amin”) (by Padawan, Blog Laureate 2014 – ?)

    He is de Feminist de President,
    de King o’ de end,
    Bar.. Bar…
    Barak Amen

    He is de darling of equality
    But not for de men
    Bar.. Bar…
    Barak Amen

    Liked by 2 people

  59. Choicy says:

    Bookwork done. Goodnight Cillo

    Liked by 1 person

  60. Cill says:

    Sleep tight Choico


  61. Cill says:

    I think Choicy’s picture is of Rich Hoffman

    Liked by 1 person

  62. molly says:

    Wow he can whip 🙂


  63. molly says:

    He could flick a fly off of a horse’s ear, eh.

    (I’m learning American. I said “off of”! 😀 )


  64. molly says:

    I miss Unca S 😥
    I wish I could join him in his pub.

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Sumo says:

    Choicy already knows this, and Cill probably does too, but for everyone else, Australia is home to some of the best whip makers in the world. Additionally, kangaroo hide is the material of choice for top quality whips.

    Liked by 2 people

  66. Liz says:

    That’s very cool, Sumo. I honestly had no idea.


  67. molly says:

    Sumo I think Choicy could do that trick with the cup!
    Cill will know.

    Liked by 2 people

  68. Cill says:

    I guessing Rich Hoffman’s whip for that trick was 3.05 meters long (10 feet). I’ve seen Choicy whip coins off a cup with a bullwhip of that length – which actually is a more difficult trick.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Florida cowboys have worked in isolation since the time of the Spansih. They use whips and are called “Crackers”. The balance of American cowboys do not.


  70. molly says:

    Off to work I go ho ho!
    To see the PPP ho
    On the pavement down below!

    P.S. “Cillhouette” said she’d drop in today. Yay!

    See ya! ZZZZZOOOOOM!


  71. Sumo says:

    10 feet is a little too long for my liking. My favorite whip (that someone else made for me) is 8 feet, and I find it a little difficult to control for some techniques. My favorite whip that I made myself is 7 feet, and is the optimal length – for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Cill says:

    ” kangaroo hide is the material of choice for top quality whips”

    I don’t know of a better leather than Kangaroo skin. It has a tighter and denser structure and more multidirectional orientation of the fibers, than other hides. Kangaroo skin doesn’t curve or curl after stretching the way bovine leather does, and it can be cut to a thinner cross section than bovine leather. It has 3 to 4 times the wear cycles for abrasion and 3 to 4 times the tear strength, of deerskin.

    It makes the best work gloves and footwear, as well as whips.

    Liked by 3 people

  73. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Your work neighbor, who is a PPP, must have some redeeming quality. She can’t be all bad. I dare you to find something good to say about her.

    Liked by 1 person

  74. Cill says:

    “10 feet is a little too long for my liking”.

    Me too. I have no practical use for a whip that long, but Choicy once said he could feed himself in the wild indefinitely with a 3 meter whip.


  75. Cill says:

    Hey Fuzzy 😀
    You’ve given my wee cuzzie a hell of a challenge there. Find something good to say about a PPP… I think she’d rather be hit by lightning 😀


  76. Cill says:

    Well, my sister has arrived. She will take over blog duties while I go out and get my hands dirty. I’ll catch up with you all later.

    Liked by 2 people

  77. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    It could be something as simple as liking Waldorf Salad. Bears like Waldorf Salad too!


    Liked by 1 person

  78. Cillhouette says:

    Hi Fuzzie, I’m on “blog duties” while I prepare him a lovely lunch! That’s “blog duties” for you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  79. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Food???? Bachelors, both bear and human, like food, A LOT. If men see women and associate them with food, they will always be welcome.
    I wish that I could come over but, it’s not like you are around the block from me.

    Liked by 2 people

  80. JDG says:

    Hi Fuzzie, I’m on “blog duties” while I prepare him a lovely lunch!


    Liked by 3 people

  81. Cillhouette says:

    Excuse me for the delay in replying! I’m looking for something special for you…

    Liked by 1 person

  82. Cillhouette says:

    O dear, this is a Win 10 OS. Plenty emoticons for phones, no much for desktops. Please excuse the “same old, same old” wordpress emots, they aer not what I was looking for!

    🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯 🌯


  83. Spawny Get says:

    Hi all, Spawny calling…

    Won’t be commenting much, but have rejoined the 21st century.

    Busy, busy at Spawny’s Achers

    Liked by 4 people

  84. Cillhouette says:

    Spawny, I must tell cill ur back! 🙂 I’ll give him a toodle-oo! give us a sec..

    Liked by 1 person

  85. Spawny Get says:

    Hi Cillhouette,

    For the time being I’m on a shonky mobile signal…better than none, I suppose

    Liked by 3 people

  86. Cill says:

    Gidday me old mate! I won’t hold you up, just had to say Hi, good to hear from you. I hope all goes well.

    Liked by 1 person

  87. Spawny Get says:

    So far pretty good. No major issues. Happy lunching

    Liked by 2 people

  88. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    If you haven’t had a chance to see it, Molly misses her Unca S and I am sure Liz misses her Swithy (?).
    May all the settling in to your new cave go easy.

    Liked by 2 people

  89. Spawny Get says:

    Fuzzie, not been able to even peek in.

    Best wishes to fabulous furby and the gang

    Liked by 3 people

  90. Cillhouette says:

    Fuzzie Molly said you must watch in your Chrome to see 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  91. JDG says:

    Cillhouette says:
    13 August, 2015 at 11:20 pm

    LOL … Most excellent. Much obliged.

    Liked by 3 people

  92. Cillhouette says:

    Q: are these sammies edible and real?

    A: as edible and real as cillhouette sammies can be 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  93. Cillhouette says:

    I coded them so you can copy and paste.
    Copy and paste into the “Leave a Reply” box :

    oops I can’t show the code behind the smilies.


    Liked by 1 person

  94. Yoda says:

    New post there is.

    Liked by 2 people

  95. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Your sandwiches and emoticons came through just fine on IE9. Maybe it has something to do with updates. I got a bunch of them yesterday.

    Liked by 1 person

  96. Cillhouette says:

    I used old emoticons 😉
    Want a hotdog? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  97. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Our littl round, tellow friend keeps eating them and doesn’t gain any weight.
    The’re all coming through just fine, Cillhouette. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  98. molly says:

    Best wishes to you too Unca S! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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