How To Be A Good Husband


Tarn’s comment on a wasteland :

 “Something *I’d* like to see from Cill and his family is the corresponding information from his female relatives post. It takes 2 to tango, and now that we have been let in on the How To Be A Good Wife*  of such overwhelmingly successful marriages, it’d be awesome to have a writeup of How To Be A Good Husband.” * (see “Wisdom of the Ages“)

A full answer would be too much for a comment and not enough for a post. Tarn, the boys did not receive as much gender education as the girls did. The mothers felt that :

  1. Girls are more urgently in need of gender education than boys are, because girls are inherently more susceptible to gender group-bias and hypergamy.
  2. The wisdom of the past female ancestors (Wisdom of the Ages) was intended more for the girls than the boys.
  3. Nowadays, women have fallen further than men have. Girls are more in need of instruction in how to be of value to the opposite sex.

My mother did instruct me as to the perils of feminism and the dangers of associating with modern women. She always made it clear that living a life without women was a viable option for men, the percentage of suitable women being so small. After the tragedy of my uncles, she said I should now be aware of the dangers of associating with women at all. Otherwise she left it to my father to instruct us in matters of gender and sex. Dad had no male equivalent of Wisdom of the Ages to hand on to his sons, but he gave us basic advice and always gave our questions his full attention.

[This topic has now been dealt with in more detail here: TEACHING BOYS]

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108 comments on “How To Be A Good Husband
  1. Yoda says:

    Girls are more in need of instruction in how to be of value to the opposite sex.

    Starts with “Men work they must”
    Understood by all this is.

    Like

  2. Yoda says:

    Yes, men have hympergamy not.
    Men can exploit a super-strong thirst not.

    Like

  3. Yoda says:

    Perhaps auto-correct trying to make humpergamy it was.
    The Force’s influence this could be.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Tarnished says:

    Dad had no male equivalent of Wisdom of the Ages to hand on to his sons, but he gave us basic instructions

    Thanks, Cill.
    This italicized portion was really more what I was looking to know. Surely there must be *some* male instruction?

    Knowing the bits about your family you’ve stated, it’s nearly guaranteed that your male family members aren’t allowed to be uncouth, loudmouthed, use their greater physical strength against their wives, to treat their women as partners not property, to acknowledge that it’s not viable to have sex if your wife is recuperating from major surgery…

    A common line from Spiderman lore is “With great power comes great responsibility.” It can’t be denied that the type of woman your family produces actively seeks to spread some of the female power to the male so as to combat the gynocentrism of Feminism. What I was curious about was what the men actively do to help keep said balance? Given the list of Female Responsibilities in the aforementioned post, what are the corresponding Male Responsibilities?

    Like

  5. SFC Ton says:

    Say no more often then yes.keeping her off the pedestal

    Ignore her advice, mood swings etc.displaying higher value.

    Maintain your frame and be the dude other chicks want to fuck. Dread

    Pound that shit out hard and fast and often. sexual dominance

    Remember spare the pimp hand and spoil the woman. dominance

    Other words, game that bitch

    Like

  6. Tarnished says:

    Nowadays, women have fallen further than men have. Girls are more in need of instruction in how to be of value to the opposite sex.

    The manosphere cannot even agree on this, sadly. It would make a good post, but different men have different ideas about what having “value” would entail.

    For example, a MGTOW would think I had a lot of value since I would never push for marriage or children…I’d never want to move in with him…we’d have lots of NSA sex…and I’d always pay my own way when we’re together. However, a Tradcon male would find me to be nearly valueless given these same traits.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Tarnished says:

    Love the bear, Spawny.
    It’s precisely my own reasoning. If I get married and have kids but spend all my time regretting it (even only a slight amount like above) then I’m not giving my family all I could. That would be my fault for making a poor decision then having to live with it for the rest of my days.

    On the other hand, if I stay single, sure…there may be some minor regrets but they shall only affect ME. Singlehood when one is unsure of the desire for family life is the LEAST selfish thing one can do.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Yoda says:

    Surely there must be *some* male instruction?

    Sounds like a more full-fledged post this would be.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Yoda says:

    The manosphere cannot even agree on this,

    If exclude false flags like AVM and GMP, then agree they do.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Yoda says:

    there may be some minor regrets but they shall only affect ME.

    The father if the children you have not regret he might.
    So perhaps the children that you had not.

    Like

  11. Tarnished says:

    Sounds like a more full-fledged post this would be.

    Yes, it would be.
    Basically, we know what makes the females of Cill’s clan awesome. What makes the males awesome? How does it all come together into the highly successful marriages they have?

    If exclude false flags like AVM and GMP, then agree they do.

    I don’t.
    Elam has personally stated that AVfM isn’t a part of the manosphere, and the Good Masochist Man Project is just pathetic pandering to feminists who claim to care about men (but only if they toe every line in existence).

    The father if the children you have not regret he might.
    So perhaps the children that you had not.

    Ummm. I don’t think this translated from Yodish very well. Maybe FB could explain? 😉

    Like

  12. Yoda says:

    The new ceo of reddit looks more womanish then the last

    Perhaps “SJWish” you mean.

    Like

  13. Yoda says:

    Unconceived babies not happy that they were born not.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Tarnished says:

    True. But at least they’re not unhappy either. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Spawny Get says:

    That guy looks camper than Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Yoda says:

    “camper than Christmas” means what it does?

    Like

  17. Tarnished says:

    I adore how we can both speak English and not, at the same time.

    It’s like Schrodinger’s kitty all over again.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Spawny Get says:

    Put it this way, Liberace was camp.

    Like

  19. Yoda says:

    “Camper than Batman”

    Like

  20. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Spawny Get,
    That is the saddest bear that I have ever seen.

    As for making good husbands, I don’t think we have a problem with that, at least with the beta qualities. The problem seems to lie in a sufficiency of tingles.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Cill says:

    Hell! Now I know they wouldn’t have understood my comments re “camp” either! E.g.

    “2. Try to regain control of ourselves by picturing a camp cowboy wearing his chaps backwards?” in the CARRY ON NURSE post?

    Maybe they don’t understand “chap” either?

    https://spawnyspace.wordpress.com/2015/08/01/carry-on-nurse/comment-page-1/#comment-31580

    Like

  22. Cill says:

    Problems after auto update Win 8.1 to Win 10 here. Double blast!

    Like

  23. Yoda says:

    I don’t think we have a problem with that, at least with the beta qualities

    Reflects poorly on women as a whole this does.

    Like

  24. Yoda says:

    “Chaps” a gay thing they are?

    Like

  25. Cill says:

    A chap is a man. Chaps are also the leather leggings of a cowboy. Both can be worn backwards, if you catch my drift. “Camp” means gay.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    That was a very sad bear. I’ll post this to compensate. Somehow, I don’t think that they are in Yellowstone National Park.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Yoda says:

    Camp means “silly drama show” on Degoba it does.
    Liberace fits this description he did.

    Like

  28. Cill says:

    I hope ya’ll now know what I meant by:
    Blast. It really would have been funny if Tarn meant #2

    Liked by 1 person

  29. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    “I don’t think that we have a problem with that, at least with the beta qualities.”
    That so many perfectly good husbands are being tossed to the curb, you kind of have to wonder.
    Considering my last comment, do you think bears could benefit from foreign travel?

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Spawny Get says:

    “Camp means “silly drama show” on Degoba it does.”

    Not round my way…

    Like

  31. Yoda says:

    do you think bears could benefit from foreign travel?

    Bears fitting on planes difficult it would be.
    In restroom they could fit not.

    Like

  32. Sumo says:

    Attack of the Yodish Grammer Nazis!!!!

    Fit in restroom, they could not

    😉

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Spawny Get says:

    Poor old Amy

    What started as a friendly interview turned sour after the host implied that Schumer’s character was “skanky,” moments after the comedian shared the film was biographical.

    Talk about awkward…

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Cill says:

    Don’t allow the automatic upgrade to Win 10. It’s a disaster.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Sumo says:

    Really? Worked just fine for me.

    Like

  36. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Yoda,
    If I have a valid passport, who would be crazy enough to argue with a bear?

    Roosh is scheduled to give a talk in Montreal on Saturday. In the meanwhile, Canadian feminists are lining up to make his life a misery. I hope that Studio Brule is there to take lots of video. There is still the off chance that this is a publicity stunt.

    http://www.returnofkings.com/68744/canadian-aurelie-nix-falsely-accuses-roosh-of-a-rape-threat-with-help-from-journalist-emily-campbell

    We may need those plans to break Sumo out of jail in Calgary and rewrite them for Roosh in Montreal.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Cill says:

    How to change the picture on the Home page? It gives me a headache.

    Like

  38. Liz says:

    That “I love my wife and kids but…” image from bar bar’s blog is very sad.
    😦

    Liked by 3 people

  39. Sumo says:

    Do you mean the lock screen, Cill? Go to settings, personalization, lock screen, and choose another file to use.

    Like

  40. Yoda says:

    “I love my wife and kids but…”

    Perhaps wife made things unecesarily hard she did.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. molly says:

    Sumo he meant the spawnyspace home page 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Yoda says:

    “Stop projecting your curiosity on me”

    A problem at the Jedi Academy this was.
    INT teachers and non N students many problems it did make.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. SFC Ton says:

    Kids are most definitely part of the why marriage sucks equation. I see dudes eat shit from their wives and kids that would get a stranger acquainted to a .45 in the face. Most women 98% or more are shit wives and part of that is getting the kids to shit on their father ( if he is their father…..)

    Liked by 1 person

  44. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    I can sww your point. That was the saddest bear that I have ever seen. Also, the sentiments wouldn’t come from a good life-partner who’s alll in.

    Liked by 3 people

  45. Tarnished says:

    Perhaps wife made things unecesarily hard she did.

    Maybe, but that doesn’t seem to be the main factor. Every once in a while some of my long-time married friends will express the same/a very similar sentiment…It is almost always a case of desiring a break from the monotony of everyday family life coupled with a nostalgia for the freedom of one’s teens and 20’s. Not so much an actual complaint regarding specific actions of the wife/kids…just a matter of missing the single life.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Farm Boy says:

    Not round my way…

    You also drive on the wrong side of the road. So what do you expect?

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Liz says:

    OT rant, reading JB’s topic title (didn’t read the post).
    I hate the following quote:
    “I might disagree with (so and so) but I will fight to the death for his/her right to say it”

    No, sugarplum. The truth is you might disagree with (so and so) but you are willing to vote for others to fight to the death to defend his/her right to say it.
    Sort of like a social justice warrior is very generous with other people’s money.

    Liked by 2 people

  48. Cill says:

    Tarn sorry I didn’t get to answer your questions. Computer problems.

    Like

  49. Liz says:

    Tarn: “Maybe, but that doesn’t seem to be the main factor. Every once in a while some of my long-time married friends will express the same/a very similar sentiment…It is almost always a case of desiring a break from the monotony of everyday family life coupled with a nostalgia for the freedom of one’s teens and 20’s. Not so much an actual complaint regarding specific actions of the wife/kids…just a matter of missing the single life.”

    That is sad too, Tarn. 😦

    Like

  50. Liz says:

    I’d be very sad if I perceived that my spouse wished he’d never married and wanted to be single. Like, catatonically sad.

    Liked by 2 people

  51. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    I did read Judgybitch’s post. Appearantly, facebook has an issue with people posting under a “nom de plume”. Both JB and Feminist Jones have been banned.

    Like

  52. Tarnished says:

    No problem, Cill.

    Liz, it isn’t really as bad as I’m probably making it sound. Think of it this way: When you were very young, you likely believed in the Easter Bunny, or Father Christmas, or the Tooth Fairy. Then one day you found out they were never real…but you can probably remember the innocence of the past belief.

    It’s very similar. The meme isn’t saying that new knowledge (of being a responsible parent) is bad or unwanted. It’s a remembrance of past innocence (of only being responsible for yourself) and wishing it could be experienced again, if only momentarily.

    Does this make more sense? 😕

    Liked by 1 person

  53. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    With your last comment, you showed yourself to be highly motivated wife and mother. While it may be common for men to be that dedicated, it’s rare in women. From this, do you understand why suicide rates skyrocket among men following divorce?

    Liked by 3 people

  54. Tarnished says:

    Men also don’t tend to have the type of camaraderie open to them as women do. They touch their friends less due to idiotic fears of being perceived as “gay”, do not spend as much time working on their friendships, and are more likely to lose contact with the companions they had prior to marriage. Sadly, this means the majority of marriage-based friends are fellow husbands of the wife’s female amigas. If they get divorced…no more friends since it’d make hanging out together at least somewhat awkward.

    One thing I truly love about Gencon is how the guys (of my group) are so open and willing to touch. We hug, and slap each other on the back, warmly shake hands, and yes…sometimes make silly “gay” jokes about how handsome they are. It’s quite awesome to witness and an actual honor to be a small part of. Were that more men could have this…

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Farm Boy says:

    While it may be common for men to be that dedicated, it’s rare in women.

    At least these days it is.
    Oddly enough there is a post in the works about that subject.
    It is called “I am Woman, That’s Enough”

    Liked by 2 people

  56. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Tarn,
    You’re right. I know that I am touch deprived and it’s safe to presume most men are.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Spawny Get says:

    I’m a touch depraved…does that count?

    Liked by 3 people

  58. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Cue picture of Miss Drake.
    It always makes me sad. She’s 71. waaaaaaaauuuuuugggghhhhh

    Like

  59. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Waaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  60. SFC Ton says:

    Worried about being perceived as guy? I don’t & I do get that. Nor is it idiotic as queers hold 0 value as men or in the SMP.

    I get it because most dude live a life that is already only one step away from being a woman/ queer/ cock sucker of some version. In my peer group there is no worry at all but on the other hand there are more dudes in the nfl etc then us.

    Like

  61. Spawny Get says:

    “Worried about being perceived as gay”

    Doesn’t worry me either. I spent three years in Southern France dodging good morning cheek smooches with male friends and colleagues…successfully dodging! I did enjoy les bissous with da laydeez though (or most of them)

    Like

  62. Liz says:

    “I did read Judgybitch’s post. Appearantly, facebook has an issue with people posting under a “nom de plume”. Both JB and Feminist Jones have been banned.”

    Facebook is a business, and a very shady one at that. They don’t owe her or anyone else a mouthpiece (just like she doesn’t owe anyone one at her site).
    FB did JB and FJ a favor though, that place sells everyone’s info and their face recognition software is more advanced than the CIA. If she wants to remain private in any way, she should have gotten off of FB long ago.

    “Does this make more sense?”
    Sure it makes sense, Tarn. But any time anyone wishes away what they have at the present (particularly family) desiring what they had in the past, it’s ipso facto a bad sign.
    This isnt’ like saying, “Wow, I wish I could run 7 miles in 50 minutes again” (I do miss having good tendons in my feet).

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Cill says:

    “Men also don’t tend to have the type of camaraderie open to them as women do”

    Well I sure do.

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Cill says:

    “Worried about being perceived as gay”
    Movie Star Good Looks place you beyond such mere trifling piffle as “gay”. Now if you were talking Turnips in Cornish Pasties it would be an entirely different matter…

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Liz says:

    “(just like she doesn’t owe anyone one at her site).”

    And she does screen posts and deletes accordingly. Which is strange for a person who claims to defend TO THE DEATH anyone and everyone’s right to say whatever they want. She doesn’t even have to fight to that one in any way…just not delete. But of course her site would have a very different vibe and likely turn into a cesspool if she didn’t moderate. So moderation is a good thing, if she wants to maintain the integrity of her site. But do you really envision a person who doesn’t permit complete freedom of speech on her own site to fight to her death to defend it elsewhere? “Oh, it’s the right to free speech…” Well, yes but if one can’t exercise that right in practical reality they don’t actually have it. Truth is, no one has complete freedom of speech in each and every instance. Try going down to Liberty City Miami and practicing that nice speech freedom.

    JB should go down there and start defending these people with her life! Yes, I fucking hate that tired, overused, pussilanimous “I’ll defend to the death” meme from folks who have never earned the right to say it (this includes me).
    Okay, rant over.

    Liked by 2 people

  66. Liz says:

    “Well I sure do.”

    I envy men’s camaraderie, actually.

    Liked by 2 people

  67. Cill says:

    America sounds like a sad place, not in the ways the MSM propounds so much as stories of big boys beating up on little girls in schools and men too short-changed for camaraderie.

    My experience of USA was not that. I had some good friendships with American men.

    Liked by 4 people

  68. Cill says:

    …and women

    Liked by 4 people

  69. Liz says:

    Mike has a lot more friends than I do (though most are friends to both of us, it’s not like I’m going to spend time with Mike’s pals without Mike there). Our very best friends are all dudes, actually.

    In my experience women have more of an agenda, even if they “hug” more (particularly in certain spheres, as we’ve advanced in life a lot more women want to be my friend but it isn’t out of any sense of kindness, it’s a social prop and/or career networking opportunity).

    I think Tarn is correct in divorce situations men are usually alone…but that’s primarily (IMO) because their social network is almost solely couples. Which makes sense when one is married…there’s more shared commonality, and family time is valuable so people tend to gravitate toward others in the same situation (early nights, family get togethers, and so forth). We know a lot of single men and they are close to our children, but our children aren’t babies and toddlers anymore…they’re more interesting and have a lot to gain by the experience of being around young single (masculine) men.

    Liked by 4 people

  70. Cill says:

    Women whittle away the male-space of their men. Individual women do this in particular and “women” do it in general. Some men won’t accept this diminishment, most will.

    Liked by 3 people

  71. Liz says:

    Wow, not a single emoticon in any of my posts this morning!
    Must fix that. I’m actually not in a bad mood…just on a bit of a tangent about that overused (insulting to actual people in the actual line of fire) bromide.
    Whew!

    🙂 😀

    We just got back from University touring around Florida. Gainesville was once a quaint little town but it’s completely congested now.

    Like

  72. Cill says:

    I haven’t been following it all. Who is the TO THE DEATH woman?

    Like

  73. Yoda says:

    Perhaps Minions work for Facebook they should

    Liked by 1 person

  74. Cill says:

    “Wow, not a single emoticon in any of my posts this morning”

    Now, Liz, should I be giving you a “Like” here, or could this be construed as unsolicited validation?

    And where are the rest of y’all?

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Yoda says:

    Perhaps Minions work for Hillary they should.
    Added competence a big factor it would be.
    And much more likable they are.

    Liked by 3 people

  76. Cill says:

    Timely verde-validation there, Yoda my green friend. 🙂

    Like

  77. Liz says:

    “I haven’t been following it all. Who is the TO THE DEATH woman?”

    Judgybitch. Don’t worry about it if you aren’t a follower, Cill.
    I read her stuff for a while and generally agree with her but when I disagree I really disagree.
    She can be funny (when one agrees), but also a grating social irritant (when one disagrees).

    Liked by 2 people

  78. Liz says:

    I actually like JB in general. But…well, she gets me het up at times (especially in racial and/or military matters, where she tends to be the most off-base).

    Liked by 2 people

  79. Cill says:

    Choicy and I have drawn up a post just now, of which we are both most proud for the moment but of which, no doubt, we will be rueful in the morrow. (if we should post. Which we shall not. Not without some thought aforethought)

    Like

  80. Cill says:

    I’ve heard of Judgy B. She’s as deep as a Sparrow cheap.

    Like

  81. Liz says:

    Should I triple dog dare you to post it? 😛
    You can’t just leave us hanging like that.
    Drunk posting is the best! In birra veritas. 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  82. Cill says:

    Hell I would but FB has his postings carefully scheduled (bless his verde heart) and I dare not break his rhythm.

    Liked by 2 people

  83. Yoda says:

    Slot on Tuesday there is.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. Cill says:

    There you go.

    Like

  85. It’s true things are confusing for all today. What used to work doesn’t seem to, what it is today doesn’t work either.

    Liked by 2 people

  86. Cill says:

    Trying to be serious for a moment, we (Choicy and I) will aim for Tuesday. Even tho our breathtakingly brilliant post is ready to go… and will stale with the effluxion of time…

    Liked by 1 person

  87. Cill says:

    … and will lose the immediacy of the present… if it has to wait until Tuesday I mean…
    They also serve who only stand and wait.

    Like

  88. Cill says:

    …They also serve who only lie and wait, as well… We have to take cognisance of the fact that the PPPs might not shag around that long…

    Like

  89. Cill says:

    To hell with it, we (Choicy and I) are going to publish our post

    Liked by 2 people

  90. Cill says:

    No we won’t.

    Like

  91. Cill says:

    Yes we will…
    Goodnight to you but not to us. Cillo and Choicy are in full stride.
    Eat your hearts out, people.

    Liked by 2 people

  92. Cill says:

    P.S. we shall publish on Tuesday.

    Liked by 1 person

  93. Liz says:

    So…how do you feel about posting it, Cill?
    Could you elaborate a little more? 😛

    Like

  94. Now I am in suspense about this post! Wait until Tuesday? Can you at least sneak peek the subject?

    Liked by 3 people

  95. Liz says:

    Heckya Bloom!
    And TUESDAY? That’s, like, forever away. Anything could happen before then!

    Liked by 2 people

  96. Cill says:

    Now listen. I said Tuesday. You just have to be patient like adults.
    Y’hear?
    Back to sleep for me.
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Liked by 1 person

  97. Liz says:

    Waaahhh! 😛

    Liked by 3 people

  98. Cill says:

    Tarn, I don’t know if you’ll see this or not. FWIW:

    You asked good questions. This post is not much more than a comment I lodged on the Wastelands post before it was shifted to the post topic here (at my request). I’ll answer you in a new post in the not too distant future.

    Liked by 1 person

  99. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Bloom,
    You were missed! Is the biz keeping you busy or Mommacat?

    Liz,
    I didn’t know that JB fudged her comments. While I have commented over there, it’s not the samd.

    Like

  100. Liz says:

    “I didn’t know that JB fudged her comments. While I have commented over there, it’s not the samd.”

    I’ve only seen her delete inflammatory stuff, Fuzzie. Lots of places delete (or mod). Heartiste is an interesting cat. He deletes and moderates some pretty reasonable commentary but lets the worst inflammatory stuff fly. Pretty funny the stuff I’ve written (though it has been over a year since I’ve posted there) that he has allowed through and the stuff he hasn’t. It isn’t based on offensiveness, for certain. I think it’s based on whether or not you agree with him.

    The only one who doesn’t seem to mod is Rollo, with the exception of a few bannings (but I don’t think his site is better for no moderation).

    Like

  101. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Liz,
    I haven’t left anything at JB’s since she migrated her blog and went to disqus for her comments.
    I have never tried at Rollo’s or Heartiste. It does seem that they already have enough.

    Like

  102. blurkel says:

    He’s BACK!

    New post up!

    Like

  103. […] post is in answer to Tarn here and here . Tarn’s comments were made with reference to “Wisdom of the Ages”, […]

    Like

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